Chapter Text
you asked me how i’ve been,
2018 - Miya Atsumu
Atsumu had gotten over his crush on Sakusa Kiyoomi years ago, if you could even call what he felt a crush.
Well, maybe you could say he was in love with Kiyoomi but what does it really mean to be in love with someone when you’re a teenager anyway?
Atsumu could admit, Kiyoomi looked something close to a Greek god, and maybe, he was a beautiful spiker too. But those were just things that anyone could see, right?
Atsumu could also admit that Kiyoomi was surprisingly good at holding a conversation, but that didn’t mean anything. At least it hadn’t for a while.
Watching Sakusa Kiyoomi walk into the gym at his first official practice with the MSBY Black Jackals brought feelings back for Atsumu. Feelings that he had worked to push away over the course of the past few years. He’d never admit that to anyone though, and he took it among himself to be the first person to walk up to Kiyoomi.
“Omi, long time no see. I betcha never thought we’d be playing on the same team.”
Sakusa looked at him and rolled his eyes, something that Atsumu would never be tired of. “Miya, can’t say I have ever thought about it.”
Atsumu smirked at that. He knew that there wasn’t actually any malice behind what Kiyoomi said.
Unlike Kiyoomi, Atsumu had thought about playing on the same team as Kiyoomi, he’d thought about it ever since they played together at the All-Japan Youth Training Camp their second year of high school. Even then, Kiyoomi was a beast on the court but now, Atsumu could tell that something was different.
His other team members came up to Kiyoomi now, officially introducing themselves. Of course they all knew Kiyoomi would be offered a spot on the team, especially after seeing the way he played at try-outs. It was just a matter of when.
Also joining the team was Hinata Shoyo. Truly the best way Atsumu could describe him was as a ray of sunlight. Anyone who knew Hinata knew that he was loud but he could light up a room. Atsumu had promised he’d set to him one day so he was glad that he’d be able to keep that promise.
Atsumu would never admit it but he might have been happier to see Kiyoomi on the team than Hinata. It was nothing against Hinata, he truly was great, but deep down Atsumu knew there was still something unfinished between him and Kiyoomi.
The voice of their captain, Meian, rang out through the gym and silenced the team. “Alright guys, you’ll have enough time to talk to your new teammates later, let's start warming up for practice."
Their first official practice went pretty well. Atsumu could tell that they’d work even better together with Hinata and Kiyoomi. There was even a moment where he set to Kiyoomi and when the hitter spiked it down, for just a moment, it was like the first time he’d ever set to him. It was perfect.
Before they set off to the locker room to get ready to leave, Meian brought them all together for one last announcement.
“Tonight, we’re going out for dinner to celebrate our two new team members. It isn’t required but I would still love for everyone to show up to support Sakusa and Hinata. Now go get showered, you all stink, I’ll send everyone the address in a bit.”
Atsumu honestly loved going out with his team and he was excited at the prospect of getting to eat with Kiyoomi. As they all headed towards the locker room, Atsumu slowed down to walk next to Kiyoomi.
“Hey there, Omi. Are ya coming out tonight?”
“It depends, will you be there?”
“‘Course I’ll be there.”
“Then I’ll have to miss out, maybe next time.”
“Oh come on Omi, ya gotta come. It’ll be fun!”
Kiyoomi rolled his eyes.
“We’ll see, Miya.”
The two separated once they got to the locker room, both having their own routines.
When Atsumu was finished showering he walked out to the main locker area, seeing nobody else.
He figured that everyone must’ve left already so he got dressed in silence. Before grabbing his bag and heading out, he heard footsteps. When he looked to where the steps came from, he saw Kiyoomi.
Except Kiyoomi was only in a towel. His hair was still wet and there were water droplets rolling down his body, making his arms look even more defined.
Atsumu froze in place and felt his cheeks warm at the sight.
He quickly pulled himself out of his thoughts before he stared for even longer.
“Sorry Omi! I didn’t realize ya were still here.”
“It’s fine, Miya”
Atsumu turned back to his bag to divert his eyes away from the man across from him. He picked it up and practically jogged to the door.
“I’ll see ya later Omi.” Atsumu quickly rambled, hoping Kiyoomi didn’t notice the way he blushed at the sight of him.
Atsumu was lucky enough to find an apartment that was only a ten minute walk away from the gymnasium where they practiced. During the entire walk, Atsumu couldn’t stop thinking about Kiyoomi. About the way his hair looked, about the way his towel sat a little too low, the way he couldn’t decide how to actually feel about Kiyoomi being there.
When he finally made it back to his apartment, he finished cleaning himself up before he got ready to head to dinner. Atsumu’s apartment wasn’t anything special but it was home. It was pretty bland but throughout there were photos of him with Osamu and some of his friends from back home.
When it started getting late, Atsumu headed out to the restaurant Meian chose. He decided to walk since it was only a 15 minute walk from his apartment. It got a bit chilly but Atsumu enjoyed the calmness of the walk.
When he got there, he found his teammates scattered among a few tables. He didn’t see Kiyoomi anywhere but he did see Bokuto sitting with Hinata so he headed for that table.
“Hey Tsum Tsum, I’m happy you made it!”
“Hey there, Bokkun. Don’t tell me yer already boring Shoyo here.”
“No worries Miya, Bokuto’s been super nice!”
Atsumu took the seat across from Bokuto.
“I’m glad to hear that. Have either of ya seen Omi?”
The two both shook their heads.
“Sorry Tsum Tsum, we haven’t seen him”
“Don’t worry about it Bokkun, we’ll just have fun without him.”
Atsumu smiled at the two, it wasn’t fake but he would be lying for him to say he wasn’t a little disappointed Kiyoomi hadn’t shown up. Part of him wondered if he made it too awkward by ogling over Kiyoomi’s, albeit perfect, body in the locker room.
The three chatted for about 30 minutes. Atsumu thought that Hinata fit well into the dynamic he’d already built up with Bokuto. He’d never admit it but since moving to Osaka, he’d really missed his brother and had struggled to get close to anybody. Bokuto was one of the first people he was actually able to get close to in the city.
In the middle of the conversation, Atsumu saw someone sit in the seat next to him. Looking over, he saw that Kiyoomi had shown up. He couldn’t help the way a smile overtook his face just at the sight of Kiyoomi.
“Omi, I’m glad ya made it.”
“I’m not staying for long but it’d be rude not to show.”
Bokuto and Hinata individually welcomed Kiyoomi as well. Atsumu was a little jealous at the way Kiyoomi didn’t show them nearly as much disdain as he showed Atsumu.
They idly chatted for a bit before Bokuto stood up.
“I’m happy I got to see you all but I gotta go, I don’t want Keiji waiting up too late for me.”
“‘Course, Bokkun. I’ll see ya tomorrow.”
Hinata stood up not long after Bokuto left.
“I’ll see you two tomorrow at practice, today's been super tiring. Bye!”
And with that, Kiyoomi and Atsumu were left alone at the table.
“So, Omi, how are ya likin’ the team so far?”
“I’ve only been here for a day, Miya.”
Atsumu rolled his eyes at Kiyoomi. “Come on Omi, give me anything.”
“Everyone is hardworking and talented, even you Miya.”
Atsumu didn’t let the dig get to him. “Well I’m glad yer enjoyin’ it Omi.”
“I never said that.”
“Ya basically did, well close enough anyway.”
Kiyoomi stood up wordlessly. Atsumu was upset that he’d leave without a goodbye until he saw that Kiyoomi was just moving to sit across from Atsumu.
“I can see you better when I don’t have to strain my neck to do it.”
“Aw thanks, Omi. I know ya love looking at me.”
Kiyoomi rolled his eyes at the comment.
They sat silently for a moment, letting the sounds of the restaurant fill the space.
“Miya, can I say something about what happened between us?”
Oh.
Atsumu had worked hard to try and ease the pain of what happened between them. Technically nothing actually happened but the aftermath of it all hurt Atsumu for a long time. Eventually though, Atsumu forgave Kiyoomi but that didn’t mean he wanted to dig up what happened.
“Sure, Omi. What didja wanna talk about?”
“I just wanted to apologize for the way I acted then. I was going through my own issues but I shouldn’t have let that affect how I treated you. I know I hurt you and I really do regret it.”
Atsumu never expected an apology from Kiyoomi. Kiyoomi hurt him, of course, but he never really blamed him for hurting him. At the end of the day, he shouldn’t have let himself fall for Kiyoomi.
“Thank ya, Omi but it’s water under the bridge now, really.”
Atsumu could see the way Kiyoomi’s eyes softened at that.
“So, how have ya been? We haven’t really talked for a while and we’re friends aren’t we?”
Kiyoomi looked a little surprised hearing that.
“If that’s what you want to believe then sure, Miya.”
Atsumu grinned at Kiyoomi, holding his head up with his hand under his chin.
“I’ve been good. Since the last time we talked, everything really has gotten better. I got my degree and I was able to go pro, which was all I’ve wanted for years.”
“I’m glad ta hear it.”
“How about you, Miya?”
“Well I’m glad ya asked, Omi. I’ve been doin’ great. I got to come here right after graduation and it’s honestly been perfect. I love the city and I couldn’t imagine playing anywhere else.”
Atsumu could tell Kiyoomi was smiling underneath his mask, even if it was small. Atsumu could see it in the way the corners of his eyes turned up.
“I missed Samu a lot though, I still do. I spent everyday with that scrub and now I barely see ‘im with my schedule. Still though, I don’t think I’d give up playing professionally and I don’t think he’d give up his restaurant either.”
“I understand that. I’m closer to my cousin, Motoya, than my actual sisters so when he first moved to play for EJP Raijin, it was pretty hard. He was my best friend, honestly my only friend, for a long time. It’s gotten easier but it doesn’t make me miss him less.”
They were silent for a moment but they didn’t need to speak, it was a comfortable silence.
“I’m glad ya decided ta play here, Omi.”
“I am too, Miya.”
It had gotten late so eventually, the two decided to head out. On his walk home, Atsumu couldn’t help the way he smiled thinking about his conversation with Kiyoomi. If anyone asked, the pink on his cheeks was from the cool air.
When he got home, he pulled out his phone and found Osamu’s contact. He clicked the call button and listened to the line ring.
“Whaddya want, ya scrub.”
“I think I might be fallin’ for Omi… again.”
“Are ya serious right now? Ya called me at eleven p.m. ta tell me this?”
“C’mon Samu, ya gotta hear me out.”
“Fine, yer already talking and I doubt anything I could say would make ya shut up.”
Atsumu could almost hear Osamu rolling his eyes on the other side of the line.
Atsumu took that as his cue to start rambling. “Today was Omi’s first day and I thought I’d be fine but when I saw him I remembered how much I liked him but then I remembered how much he hurt me but then I thought about how good he looked in his shorts and then-“
“Tsumu, I need ya to get to the point.”
“Well tonight the team went out to dinner and me and Omi got to talkin’. It was such a good conversation and then he even told me he was sorry about how everything went down and he looked so genuine, Samu, you shoulda seen ‘im.”
“Tsumu, don't ya remember the way he broke your heart? It messed ya up for months, I’ve never seen ya so sad.” Osamu paused for a second. “Did ya even really forgive him the first time?”
Atsumu froze at that. Did he ever forgive Kiyoomi? Well of course he did, didn’t he?
“Samu, It’ll be different this time, I just know it.”
“Does he even feel the same way ‘bout ya?”
“No, well I don’t know, but maybe we’ll become friends and all these leftover feelings will just fade with time.”
“Whatever helps ya sleep at night. Speaking of sleep, I’m exhausted, is that all ya needed ta tell me?”
“Well, I did forget to tell ya about how good Omi looked with a towel on his waist. If it woulda slipped any lower I bet I woulda seen where his happy trail-”
“Alright, that's a whole lot more than I needed to hear, night Tsumu.”
“Night Samu, love ya.”
—
When Atsumu woke up in the morning, he couldn’t help how excited he was for practice. Part of him was excited for the new season but another part of him couldn’t wait to play with Kiyoomi again.
But maybe he was going into this too soon. Maybe he hadn’t actually forgiven Kiyoomi. Maybe he just pushed himself to move on. But those thoughts are for another time, right now it’s time to get ready.
Atsumu went through the routine he’d perfected. He made his breakfast, went on a jog, got dressed and headed to practice. It wasn’t anything special or complex but it was something that Atsumu had down pat.
Atsumu took his time walking to practice. He liked to listen to music and just allow himself to get in the right mindset. He enjoyed the way his walk gave him a moment of calmness before the stress of practice.
He did love playing volleyball but sometimes it took a lot out of him.
When he made it to the gymnasium, he opened the door and held it open when he noticed a shadow behind him. When he took a good look, he noticed it was Kiyoomi.
He felt himself smirk and he pulled his headphones off with his open hand,
“Hey there, Omi. Funny seeing ya here.”
Kiyoomi rolled his eyes.
“Of course Miya, it’s so crazy seeing you in the gymnasium where our team practices.”
“Oh come on, Omi, ya don’t gotta be so mean.”
Atsumu swore he saw a smile underneath Kiyoomi’s mask.
The two walked in together, no other words shared, and they separated once they were inside the locker room.
They didn’t do anything special but Atsumu felt his heart flutter a bit.
Once everyone finished getting ready and warming up, Meian announced that they’d be doing scrimmages against each other. To Atsumu’s excitement, Kiyoomi would be on his team.
It had been 4 years since he set to Kiyoomi and he couldn’t help but wonder if it’d still feel the same.
A few minutes into the first match, he got the perfect opportunity to see if they could still work together. Atsumu set the ball, setting his sights on where Kiyoomi was. They made eye contact and it was almost like a silent agreement.
The moment Kiyoomi shot himself into the air, time slowed for Atsumu. The way the other man’s body looked in the air was beautiful and Atsumu knew he’d commit it to memory.
Atsumu watched the way Kiyoomi hit the ball in the perfect spot to get their team a point. It was like they’d always played together.
A smile spread across Atsumu’s face. “Nice going, Omi! It’s almost like we never stopped playing together.”
Kiyoomi found himself smiling as well. “You better set like that everytime.”
For a moment, what Kiyoomi said made Atsumu freeze. It reminded him of the first time Atsumu set to Kiyoomi.
“Don’tcha worry, I never set anything less than perfect.”
The rest of the scrimmage went well, with Atsumu and Kiyoomi’s team winning. After that, practice went on a little longer before they were given the go-ahead to leave.
It’d been one of the best practices Atsumu had in a while. Obviously his other teammates were insanely skilled but something about playing with Kiyoomi brought something out of him. He never had to worry if Kiyoomi would be able to play his set, he knew he would and he knew it would be beautiful.
Atsumu was lost in his thoughts until he heard Hinata’s voice pull him out.
“Hey, Tsumu!”
“Hey there, what’s up?”
“I just wanted to say, that was a really fun scrimmage match! You and Omi worked super well together, I almost wished he was on my team instead!”
“Thanks Sho, no hard feelings right?”
“Of course not, especially since it was so fun. And don’t get too cocky, I’ll beat you next time we scrimmage against each other!”
“I bet ya will. I’ll see ya later.”
Atsumu watched as Hinata walked to the locker room.
Hinata really was the complete opposite as Kiyoomi, but Atsumu was beyond glad to have him on the team. They’d only played together for a few days but he really was so bright and he was insanely talented.
Atsumu walked to the locker room to get showered and part of him wanted to see Kiyoomi, but he was nowhere to be found. Atsumu just assumed Kiyoomi left while he was talking to Hinata.
Atsumu went through his routine and still hadn’t seen Kiyoomi. He’d be lying if he said deep down he wasn’t hoping to see Kiyoomi in nothing but a towel again. When he walked out of the locker room, he took one last glance wondering if maybe Kiyoomi would appear out of thin air.
Alas, he didn’t appear so Atsumu went on his way home. He always enjoyed his walk home. It gave him time to think about whatever he needed to. Today he took time to think about how he could set better to Kiyoomi. Obviously, Kiyoomi wasn’t the only person he needed to set to but at this very moment he was the only one who mattered.
Eventually he got home and made himself dinner. He ate alone pretty regularly but it’d pretty much always been like that since he moved to Osaka. He’d made friends but he was only really close to a handful of people and even then, he didn’t know if they’d want to come over to eat with him.
He went through the rest of his evening routine and eventually he made it to bed. As he laid in his bed, he couldn’t help but think about Kiyoomi. He’d truly filled every space in Atsumu’s brain and Atsumu didn’t know how to feel about that. His thoughts were bouncing all around and he couldn’t calm them.
He had a huge crush on him in high school, so it’s reasonable that he’d still turn Atsumu’s head, right?
But he also hurt Atsumu in a way that no one else ever has.
He did apologize but is it too late for that apology?
But what if it’s different this time? What if Kiyoomi likes him too?
Atsumu didn’t know how long these thoughts filled his mind before he eventually fell into a dreamless sleep.
—
The next couple of weeks of practice went amazingly. Atsumu and Kiyoomi got into a groove while playing and became something of a duo. Atsumu hadn’t clicked with anyone on the court that easily since he played with Osamu.
Over those weeks, Atsumu started breaking through Kiyoomi’s prickly exterior. He’d help Kiyoomi warm up when he could, in between plays he tried to compliment him, he even convinced Kiyoomi to come out with the team a couple of times.
Atsumu hoped that they could call each other friends, but the label didn’t truly matter. All Atsumu cared about was that they were something. He hoped that one day they’d be on the same level as the friendship they once had, if you could even call it that.
One day Atsumu had gotten all the way to practice and started warming up before noticing that Kiyoomi wasn’t there at all. At first he figured that Kiyoomi was just late but deep down he knew that Kiyoomi wasn’t someone who would just show up late. After about 30 minutes he knew something was off.
Atsumu waited until there was a free moment before he went over to Meian to ask about Kiyoomi.
“Hey there cap, do ya happen ta know where Omi is?”
“Oh, yeah. He let me know earlier that he was coming down with something and he didn’t want to spread it.”
Atsumu let out a small breath of relief. He obviously didn’t think something horrible had happened but it was nice to know for sure. “Ya know how he is with germs, I’m not surprised.”
“Can I ask why you want to know, Atsumu? You’ve never asked about Bokuto or Inunaki when they’ve missed practice.”
Maybe it’s because I care about him. Maybe it’s because I don’t want to lose him.
Atsumu couldn't let the thoughts flowing through the forefront mind come out so he covered them the best he could.
“Don’tcha know Omi can hit any of my sets? I just wanted to make sure my best spiker wasn’t tryna skip out on my sets.”
“Alright then, let’s get back to practicing.”
Atsumu hoped that Meian couldn’t see through what he was saying. It wasn't exactly a bold-faced lie but it wasn’t the full truth either.
The rest of practice went by quickly, Atsumu would even say that it felt a bit boring without Kiyoomi. He got the chance to really work on his sets to Hinata but he couldn’t help the way he wished it was Kiyoomi.
At the same time, he was at war with the thoughts in his head. He knew he shouldn’t have Kiyoomi on his mind like this but he couldn’t help himself.
He must’ve started falling the first time that he saw Kiyoomi’s deep eyes and those two perfect moles above them. He’s been falling since that day, no matter how hard he tries to grab onto anything to save himself.
He absolutely was falling in love with Sakusa Kiyoomi…
Again.
But he couldn’t let himself be overwhelmed with that feeling of love. He couldn’t handle losing Kiyoomi again so they had to stay friends, teammates, acquaintances, whatever they were for Atsumu’s sake.
When Atsumu was on his way home from practice, he found himself searching for Kiyoomi’s contact and clicking call. He’d deleted Kiyoomi’s number years ago but he’d saved it again once they became teammates.
Atsumu assured himself that he was only calling Kiyoomi to check on him, like any good friend would.
After the line rang a couple times, the call connected.
“Hey there, Omi. I heard ya were sick and I just wanted to call and see how ya were doin’.”
“What do you think, Miya?” Atsumu could tell Kiyoomi’s voice was hoarse, but part of him was glad that Kiyoomi’s sickness didn’t make him lose the condescending tone that Atsumu had become so fond of.
“I think ya were glad when ya saw me calling and that I made yer whole day.” Atsumu’s quipped.
“You wish.” Atsumu could tell in Kiyoomi’s voice that he was smiling, even if it was a little one.
“The team missed ya at practice, ya know?”
“Really?” There was a slight softness in Kiyoomi’s tone.
“‘Course, Omi. Ya may be blunt and brooding but I can tell ya really care about everyone. Yer one of the only ones who can talk Bokuto down when he’s all riled up and even that took me months to figure out. Not only that but ya really are a perfect player. No one else takes my sets quite like ya.”
It was silent on the other end of the line for a few moments before Atsumu could hear Kiyoomi speak again.
“Thanks Miya.”
Atsumu blushed a bit at that.
“No need ta thank me, just wanted to make sure ya understood why ya were missed today.”
Atsumu must’ve lost track of time on the phone with Kiyoomi as he noticed himself reaching his apartment.
“I’m gonna let ya go Omi, I’ll see ya soon.”
“I’ll see you Miya, thanks again for calling.”
And with that, the first phone call that Kiyoomi had with Omi in years was over. Honestly, he’d never expected that they’d talk over the phone again but it was the little things that mattered.
After a few hours at home, an idea struck Atsumu. He didn’t know if it was a good idea but it wouldn’t hurt to try. Probably,
He grabbed his phone and called Osamu. He answered almost immediately.
“What’s up Tsumu?”
“I need ya ta help me make onigiri.”
—
Okay, maybe this was a bad idea.
Atsumu hadn’t expected that on his day off, he’d be on his way to Kiyoomi’s apartment with onigiri boxed up in his bag. He didn’t even know if Kiyoomi would like it but he figured it couldn’t hurt.
If anything, he could just play it off as checking in on his sick teammate.
Halfway through his walk, he realized he didn’t actually know where Kiyoomi lived. He’d seen Kiyoomi when he was on a run one day so he knew the general area but he didn’t know where exactly Kiyoomi lived.
Against his better judgement, he called Kiyoomi. He picked up after a few rings.
“Why are you calling me on our day off, Miya?”
“What? I can’t call an’ check up on my favorite spiker?”
Kiyoomi paused for a second like he was really
thinking on it.
“Nope. Tell me what’s going on before I hang up on you.”
“Okay, okay. I just, well it’s gonna sound real weird, but I need yer address.”
“What?”
“I’m coming ta check on ya and I need ta know.”
“Nope, you’re not coming to check on me. No way.”
“Too late, Omi, I’m already on the way.”
Atsumu could hear the way Kiyoomi scowled after hearing that.
“How are you on the way here if you don’t know the address?”
“I’ve seen ya on yer run while I was on mine so I just took a guess about where ya lived.”
“Wow Miya, I never took you for a stalker.”
“C’mon Omi, just give me yer address.”
“Fine, I’ll send it to you.”
“Thank ya Omi, I’ll see ya in a jiffy.”
Atsumu hung up the phone and saw that Kiyoomi had wasted no time in sending him his address.
Lucky for him, he’d been right in guessing the general area where Kiyoomi lived. After searching for the directions for his address, he’d realized he was only a few minutes away.
Eventually, he found the place and he noticed that he’d run by it a few times. It was only about a 10 minute walk from his apartment.
But it wasn’t like he was gonna visit him or anything. This was just a one-time thing. Wasn’t it?
When he got up to the door for the apartment Kiyoomi sent him, he hesitated for a moment before knocking.
What if Kiyoomi didn’t actually want to see him?
What if this was all for nothing?
No. He wasn’t going to let these thoughts mess with him right now. All he needed to do right now was to bring this food to Kiyoomi.
After he stood for a moment, he heard movement on the other side of the door before he watched it open. On the other side, he saw Kiyoomi in a t-shirt and sweatpants.
Atsumu couldn’t help but notice how well the shirt defined his arms and chest. He quickly pushed that thought aside before he started talking.
“Hey there, Omi. Didja miss me?”
He watched Kiyoomi roll his eyes and he noticed just how deep the other’s eyebags were. His sickness must’ve taken a toll on him. He also realized that Kiyoomi hadn’t been wearing a mask. He must’ve forgotten to put one on before opening the door but Atsumu couldn’t complain.
“Miya just come inside before you let in all the hot air.”
“Alright, alright.”
Atsumu walked into Kiyoomi’s apartment and toed off his shoes. When he really took in the apartment, he noticed just how clean it was. He was surprised though that it didn’t look as sterile as he expected. Kiyoomi had decorated well and with warm colors. He didn’t expect anything dirty but he didn’t expect it to look as homey as it did.
Kiyoomi interrupted Atsumu’s train of thought.
“Are you going to come in or are you just going to stare?”
“Yeah ‘course Omi.”
Atsumu picked his feet up and walked all the way in.
“What’s with that bag Miya?”
Atsumu forgot that he’d even brought Kiyoomi the onigiri and for a moment he felt embarrassed.
“Oh well, this?” Atsumu lifted up the bag a bit. “It’s nothin’ just somethin’ I thought would make ya feel better.”
“Are you going to open it or just hold it?”
“Yeah, ‘course I’ll open it for ya.”
Kiyoomi watched as Atsumu walked up to the kitchen counter and put down the bag, pulling the container of onigiri out of the bag. He stuck the container out to Kiyoomi, looking almost shy.
“I made ya this. I thought it might be nice ta have some good food, that always help me feel better.”
Kiyoomi looked almost surprised to see Atsumu give him that. Atsumu could swear he saw Kiyoomi’s cheeks turn a bit pink.
“Thanks, Miya.”
“Well it’s nothin’ at all, Omi.”
Atsumu took a step back. “Well I should head out, I’ll see ya later.”
Atsumu only got a few steps away before Kiyoomi spoke again.
“Miya?”
“Yeah, Omi?”
“You could stay if you want. I don’t think I can eat all of this by myself.”
A wave of surprise washed over Atsumu’s face. He hadn’t expected Kiyoomi to ask him to stay.
“Oh, are ya sure? I don’t want to encroach on ya or anythin’.”
“I wouldn’t ask if I didn’t mean it.”
“Yeah yeah, yer right.”
“I’ll get out some plates if you want to bring the onigiri over to the table.”
“Alright, anything for ya Omi.”
Atsumu didn’t see the way Kiyoomi blushed at that.
Atsumu watched as Kiyoomi set out two plates. For a moment, it all felt domestic but Atsumu didn’t want to let himself think too hard about it.
Kiyoomi plated his onigiri and pushed the container over to Atsumu so he could do the same. They ate in silence for a few minutes before Kiyoomi broke it.
“Since when do you know how to cook?”
“I don’t really know how, at least not well.” Atsumu laughed a bit. “I had ta call Samu last night so he could walk me through makin’ this..”
Atsumu froze for a second. There is no way he seriously just admitted to Kiyoomi that he called his brother to make sure he didn’t mess this up.
Kiyoomi just smirked at him.
“You did this all for me? I didn’t take you as the sappy kind, Miya.”
Atsumu could hear the sarcastic tone in Kiyoomi’s voice.
“Well don’t get too excited about it, I woulda done the same for Bokkun or Sho.”
“Whatever you say, Miya.”
After that conversation flowed easily. They didn’t talk about anything particularly important but that didn’t matter. Atsumu was just glad to see the way Kiyoomi smiled when he spoke and the way his quick remarks found their way into the conversation.
Atsumu didn’t notice how long they were talking until he noticed the way the sunset gave the room a golden hue. The light shone perfectly on Kiyoomi’s face, making each of his features glow.
They had an early practice tomorrow so Atsumu knew he should leave soon but he wanted to hold onto the way Kiyoomi looked for just another moment. If he couldn’t love him out loud, he could at least appreciate the little things.
Eventually Atsumu decided he had to take his leave.
“Omi, I hate ta kill the moment but I gotta go so I can rest up fer practice tomorrow.”
Kiyoomi almost looked sad before he responded.
“Okay, thanks for bringing this to me by the way. It really did taste good, you did well.”
“I’m glad ta hear it, Omi. I hope ya feel a bit better.”
Kiyoomi gave him a small smile.
“I really do, Miya.”
“Well then I’ll have ta tell Samu his onigiri has healing properties.”
Kiyoomi laughed a bit at that. Atsumu wished he could hear that sweet sound everyday.
“Alright, well I’ll see ya at practice tomorrow.”
Atsumu pulled his shoes on before taking one last glance at Kiyoomi. He couldn’t help the way he smiled. It was a real smile, the kind of smile that he hadn’t felt for a while.
Atsumu went to bed that night with the sight of Kiyoomi in the glow of the sunset still fresh in his mind. He truly believed that he would always remember the way the light surrounded him made him look truly divine.
–
Something changed after that day. It was like some sort of wall between Atsumu and Kiyoomi had been broken down. Kiyoomi had become more open with Atsumu in his own way. He still made snarky remarks but Atsumu could tell they weren’t malicious. He would even say with full confidence that he and Kiyoomi were friends.
Over the course of the next month, Atsumu found himself hanging out with Kiyoomi much more outside of practice. It was never really anything past getting dinner together or going on runs together but that didn’t matter to Atsumu. He just couldn’t believe that they had made it to this point.
A few days before their first game, Atsumu was on his way into the gymnasium when he saw Kiyoomi a few feet in front of him. He spoke before he could even comprehend what he was doing.
“Hey Omi!”
Kiyoomi turned around looking annoyed before he realized that it was Atsumu who called him.
“Miya, what do you want?”
Atsumu hadn’t really thought this far ahead. He walked a bit faster to get next to Kiyoomi.
“Are ya free after practice tonight?”
“It depends, what do you want to do?”
“I was thinkin’ we could go out ta dinner or somethin’ and celebrate for yer first official game.”
Kiyoomi was quiet for a moment, like he was deciding what to say.
“Sure, as long as we aren’t out too late. I am not gonna let you ruin my sleep schedule right before the game.”
“Whatever ya say, old man.” Atsumu drawled, hoping that Kiyoomi would get annoyed. He smiled a bit when he noticed the way Kiyoomi’s face changed as he turned to him.
“My bad for wanting to sleep.” Atsumu could hear the irritation in his voice. “And in case you forgot, Miya, you’re literally older than me.”
Kiyoomi quickened his steps to get further from Atsumu but he just matched his pace.
“I will literally slap you if you get any closer to me Miya.” Kiyoomi threatened but there was no trace of an actual threat in his voice.
Atsumu spoke one last time before they ended up reaching the locker room. “Use yer anger on the court, alright Omi?”
Kiyoomi rolled his eyes before they separated to get ready.
Atsumu wouldn’t admit just how much he enjoyed making Kiyoomi irritated. It was just so easy and he just couldn’t help it.
Over the course of practice, Atsumu couldn’t help looking at Kiyoomi when he could. He would never get over the way Kiyoomi could somehow make volleyball look beautiful. The way he could somehow play with such grace regardless of how brutal each play was. He never spent too long looking at Kiyoomi, though. He couldn’t let him notice the way his eyes were drawn to him at every moment.
After practice ended, Atsumu couldn’t find Kiyoomi so he assumed he had gone to the locker room before Atsumu had. In the locker room he was nowhere to be seen and a pang of sadness hit Atsumu. He wanted to make sure that their plans for tonight were solidified but Kiyoomi wasn’t anywhere.
On his way out of the locker room, he sent Kiyoomi the time and address for where he wanted to eat tonight and he hoped he would see it.
Once he made it home, Kiyoomi still hadn’t responded. He wished he wasn’t hurt by it but he was. Obviously it wasn’t a date or anything but that doesn’t change the fact that Atsumu was upset.
Eventually, Atsumu decided that he would get dinner regardless of if Kiyoomi was going to show up or not. Atsumu got dressed and he headed out. He had chosen a place in between both of their apartments so that it wouldn’t be a hassle for either of them to make it.
When Atsumu walked in, he was surprised to see that Kiyoomi had decided to show up. He was seated at a table, looking down at his phone.
Atsumu was irritated and he hoped that it didn’t show in his demeanor. He kept his cool the best he could as he sat down across from Kiyoomi and started talking.
“Surprised ya even showed up Omi.”
Kiyoomi looked up at him, a bit surprised.
“I agreed to dinner, why wouldn’t I show up?”
“Well it’s not like ya answered the text I sent ya.”
“Well it’s not like you asked me a question. We agreed on dinner so you sent me the address. What else is there to say?”
“I dunno maybe any sorta indication that ya saw my text? Not ta mention ya weren’t anywhere ta be found after practice so I couldn’t even ask ya ‘bout dinner.”
“Again, we agreed on dinner so why did you need to ask me again? Anyways, I had something personal I needed to deal with.”
“Fine. We’re both here so we may as well eat.”
Atsumu didn’t see any reason to keep fighting so he just stopped since he wasn’t making any progress anyway. Maybe it was irrational to get so upset at Kiyoomi but at the moment it made sense to him.
They sat silent until the waitress came to take their order. The air between them was tense and that hadn’t been what Atsumu had been trying to do. He wanted Kiyoomi to know that he was upset but he hadn’t thought through the implications of it.
After they had sat in silence for well over 15 minutes, Atsumu couldn’t take it anymore.
“I’m sorry, Omi.”
Kiyoomi made eye contact with Atsumu for the first time since they last spoke.
“I’m not mad at you Miya.”
Atsumu couldn’t help the way his eyes lit up at that.
“Yer not?”
“No. You thought I was standing you up so I understand why you were mad. I just wish you would’ve heard me out before getting defensive.”
Kiyoomi was right and Atsumu knew that too. He was a bit embarrassed at the way that he had treated Kiyoomi at the start of dinner.
“Yer right.” Atsumu paused for a moment. “Well we may as well make use of our time here since we’re on speakin’ terms again.”
Kiyoomi rolled his eyes at hearing that but Atsumu could see the playfulness of it.
“We were never off speaking terms. You were just acting like a child.”
A glint of wittiness in his eyes.
“I was not actin’ like a child!”
Atsumu let out a laugh between every word.
“Oh sure, whatever you want to think.”
The two spent the rest of the night shooting remarks at each other, forgetting about their food as soon as it was put on the table.
It had been a night well spent for Atsumu and deep down he hoped he could get more time like this with Kiyoomi.
–
It just so happened that the team's first game would be an away game. They had to meet at the gymnasium where they practiced so that they could get to the bus on time.
Atsumu was honestly exhausted. It wasn’t unusual for him to wake up early for his run but something about him being forced to wake up early made it a thousand times worse. Looking around, he saw that no one else was doing much better. Even Hinata, who was a ball of energy at all times, looked out of it.
Eventually, the team loaded onto the bus. Atsumu was one of the first ones on so he picked his favorite seat near the back. There was nothing special about the seat but he’d just always sat there so what was the point in stopping now.
Once he was comfortable, he pulled out his phone just to scroll for a bit. He was pulled out of his scrolling when he heard someone sit down next to him. It wasn’t like he was against someone sitting by him but there were enough seats on the bus that almost everyone should be able to get their own seat.
When he looked up to see who it was, he was surprised to see that it was Kiyoomi sitting next to him.
“I didn’t realize ya liked me enough ta want ta sit next to me for the next nine hours.”
“‘Like’ is a strong word, Miya. I tolerate you at best.”
“Whatever ya say Omi.”
Atsumu knew Kiyoomi was just bluffing. He could see that there were still empty seats on the bus but he wasn’t going to complain.
Atsumu spent most of the first couple hours of the ride sleeping. When he came to, he noticed that at some point he had started leaning on Kiyoomi’s shoulder. He almost pulled away until he felt that Kiyoomi’s head was on top of his.
He felt himself start to blush. He shouldn’t feel this way but he hadn’t been this close to Kiyoomi since they were teenagers. He stayed like that for a while,fighting to make sure this would stay in his memory. He felt his eyes get heavy again before warmth envelop him as he fell back asleep.
When he woke a second time, he didn’t feel Kiyoomi’s head on his. He opened his eyes and saw Kiyoomi scrolling on his phone.
He pulled his head up and looked at Kiyoomi.
“I have ta say, Omi, ya aren’t a great pillow.”
He was lying, he just hoped Kiyoomi didn’t see through it.
Kiyoomi responded without looking up from his phone.
“Based on the fact you were drooling all over my shoulder, I would say you slept pretty well.”
Atsumu unconsciously brought his hand up to wipe away any drool left on his mouth. Kiyoomi noticed and Atsumu saw the way his lips quirked up at that.
“Anyways, how much longer do we have before we get there?”
“Around 5 hours”
The two sat in a comfortable silence after that. They didn’t have anything to say but that was okay. They had sat in silence for a couple of hours when Atsumu saw Kiyoomi put his hand out. When he looked, he saw Kiyoomi was handing him an earbud.
Atsumu smiled a bit.
“Are ya askin’ me ta watch a movie with ya?”
“If you ask anything else, I’ll take back the offer.”
Atsumu put the earbud in his ear and they spent the next hour and a half watching whatever Kiyoomi put on. Atsumu tried to focus on it but all he could think about was the way his shoulder felt against Kiyoomi’s.
When they got to the hotel the team would be staying at, Atsumu realized he didn’t actually know who he was sharing a room with. It wasn’t his fault that he hadn’t been listening to Meian when he told everyone the assignments.
Kiyoomi was somehow one of the first off the bus and into the hotel so Atsumu didn’t have the time to ask who he’d been rooming with.
Atsumu ended up being the last one off the bus and the last one to grab his bag so any chance he had to figure out who else was in his room was gone until he got into the room. He just hoped it wasn’t Bokuto. He loved him, of course, but that man snored like nobody's business.
Eventually, Atsumu made it to the hotel room. He’d seen some of his teammates go into other rooms but he still wasn’t sure who was in his. He hadn’t seen Kiyoomi in the elevator so he assumed he had already made it to his room.
When he opened the door, he was shocked to see that Kiyoomi was in there going through his bag. Kiyoomi looked at Atsumu unphased and continued what he was doing.
“Omi? Since when are we sharin’ a room.”
Kiyoomi didn’t look up.
“Since Meian told us we were like a week ago. Weren’t you listening.”
No he wasn’t.
“‘Course I was Omi, I was just checkin’ to make sure ya were.”
“Whatever you say Miya.”
Atsumu hoped that Kiyoomi couldn’t tell he was freaking out internally. He couldn’t stop thinking about how they’d be sharing a room for the first time. It felt weirdly intimate.
Atsumu started going through his own bag, pulling out anything he’d need for the night.
The team was supposed to meet up for dinner that night. After about an hour, the two walked together to the restaurant that had been chosen.
The dinner wasn’t anything special. Atsumu didn’t eat much, he wouldn’t admit it but he was a bit anxious. It was their first game of the season and he wanted them to do well. He noticed that Kiyoomi hadn’t eaten much either. He figured it was because being somewhere unfamiliar was difficult for Kiyoomi.
When they made it back to their room, Kiyoomi let Atsumu know that he’d be showering. He didn’t have any qualms about it so he just sat on his bed and scrolled through social media. He could tell that there was a lot of hype behind the game tomorrow.
Atsumu had lost track of time until he saw Kiyoomi walk out of the bathroom. He only had sweatpants on. Atsumu would be lying if he said he didn’t stare.
He watched the way the water dripping from his hair rolled down his body.
Atsumu was pulled out of it when he registered Kiyoomi speaking. He felt almost like he was caught doing something he wasn’t supposed to be doing.
“I’m done with the bathroom if you need to shower.”
Atsumu could barely form any words.
“‘Course, thanks Omi.”
With that, Atsumu grabbed his things and got in the bathroom. Looking in the mirror, he saw the way the blush on his face spread all the way to his chest.
He couldn’t believe that just seeing Kiyoomi did this to him. He was a little bit embarrassed that he couldn’t even keep his composure.
He had to do something.
He had to figure out some way to get rid of this crush but what could he even do? They worked together, for God’s sake. He couldn’t escape Kiyoomi even though he knew he should.
No matter how deeply he understood that he shouldn’t feel this way, his heart told him otherwise.
How could he ignore his heart?
He couldn’t, it was plain and simple.
He didn’t know how or when but somehow he would tell Kiyoomi how he felt. He didn’t want to ruin what they had but he wasn’t sure how much longer he could hold all of this in.
He showered in water as cold as he could handle, trying to cool him down from everything he was feeling.
When he stepped out of the bathroom, he saw Kiyoomi with his back towards the bathroom. It looked like he was on the phone so he stayed quiet as he got onto his bed. He tried his best not to listen to what Kiyoomi was saying on the phone. He didn’t want to breach his privacy.
Atsumu lost himself on his phone until he noticed that Kiyoomi wasn’t talking anymore.
Atsumu looked over at Kiyoomi and saw that he had put his phone down and was looking at Atsumu.
He hadn’t expected that and flinched a bit.
“I didn’t hear you come out of the shower.”
“Didn’t ya know? Being stealthy is one of my special skills.”
“Wow. I never would’ve guessed.” Kiyoomi said blankly.
Atsumu could tell he was just making fun of him.
“Has anyone ever told ya how nice ya are, Omi?”
“Every single day actually.”
“I bet.” Atsumu let out a little laugh. “Anyway, who were ya talkin’ to?”
Kiyoomi looked a bit surprised that Atsumu asked.
Atsumu quickly continued when he saw Kiyoomi’s reaction “Ya don’t have ta tell me if ya don’t want.”
“It was Ushijima Wakatoshi.”
Oh.
“Don’tcha give him all of our secrets, we gotta beat ‘im tomorrow.”
Kiyoomi smiled a bit.
“It wasn’t anything like that, trust me.”
“Well I didn’t know ya were friends with Ushiwaka.”
A wave of something Atsumu couldn’t identify washed over Kiyoomi’s face.
“I guess you could say that.”
Atsumu was a bit confused by Kiyoomi’s reaction but he wasn’t going to push it. He tried to start a new conversation and landed on the first thing on his mind.
“Isn’t it a bit weird that we’re sharin’ a room?”
That’s not what he wanted to come out but it was too late now.
“What do you mean?”
“Ya know, just that the last time we were in a room together like this, we were basically just kids.”
“I wouldn’t say we were kids, it was only a few years ago, but I guess you’re right.”
Atsumu spoke before he could even think about what he was saying.
“Do ya ever miss it?”
Kiyoomi moved across his bed so that he was on the side that was only a few feet away from Atsumu’s. He looked at Atsumu with genuineness.
“Miss what?”
“When we were friends.” Atsumu paused for a second. “The first time.”
Kiyoomi was deep in thought for a second. Atsumu swore he could see as every thought crossed over his mind.
“Yeah, I do.”
Kiyoomi was quieter now.
“I do too, sometimes.”
Atsumu felt himself reminisce for a moment, remembering the moments they had.
“Miya?”
“Yeah Omi?”
The air in the room had changed. Atsumu wasn’t sure what it was but he didn’t want to let it slip away.”
“I really am sorry about what happened between us.”
“You’ve already apologized, ya don’t gotta do it again.”
“No, I do. You didn’t deserve to be hurt the way I hurt you. It isn’t an excuse but when I hurt you, I was going through my own issues”
Atsumu felt a tear prick at his eye. He didn’t want to cry, he couldn’t.
“I really appreciate it.”
And he did. He wanted to be able to fully forgive Kiyoomi and he truly believed that maybe this was the final thing he needed.
“Can I be honest, Miya?”
“‘Course.”
“You were the first person outside of my family who I told I was gay.”
Atsumu let out a small gasp.
“I didn’t realize that, Omi.”
Kiyoomi let out a small chuckle
“Yeah. My parents didn’t take it well at all.” Kiyoomi paused, sadness crossing over his face. “It was hard for a really long time. We aren’t really even on good terms now but I love them and I know they love me.”
Atsumu didn’t know how to respond. He hadn’t expected Kiyoomi to open up like that. Atsumu didn’t expect Kiyoomi to trust him enough with that.
“Thank ya for trusting me with this, Omi.”
Kiyooomi gave Atsumu a small smile, he could see the way it was laced with sadness.”
“We’re friends right, or at least that’s what you told me.”
Atsumu laughed a bit at Kiyoomi taking his words.
“Yeah we are friends Omi.”
There was something different between Kiyoomi and Atsumu now. It was something new and unfamiliar but Atsumu hoped it was for the better.
After the moment they had, the two chatted idly for a little bit before they both decided to go to bed in anticipation for the game.
–
When they stepped onto the court in the morning, Atsumu looked over at Kiyoomi. He noticed that he was already looking at him.
Atsumu nodded as if to tell him that this was the moment they had been training for. It was what they had been practicing. Kiyoomi nodded back at him in silent agreement.
The game had gone amazingly. It was the first time that Atsumu and Kiyoomi had played together in an official game and they made the most of it. Every set he sent Kiyoomi’s way was met with a hit of equal caliber.
Eventually the Jackals found their way to victory, winning 3 of the 5 sets against the Adlers. It wasn’t looking good for them in the last set but the final point was scored by Atsumu. The Adlers had picked up on how Atsumu would set to his teammates so instead of passing it, he dumped the ball.
When the whistle blew, indicating the game was over, Atsumu found himself running over to Kiyoomi. He saw the way Kiyoomi’s face was lit up with a real smile. Kiyoomi made eye contact with him and met him in the middle.
Atsumu had come over to high five Kiyoomi, what he hadn’t expected was Kiyoomi pulling him into a hug.
It was short but it was everything Atsumu needed at the moment. He couldn’t love Kiyoomi, not the way he wanted to but he was content with this. He could accept this being the closest his body would be to Kiyoomi’s.
When Kiyoomi pulled away, Atsumu saw Bokuto and Hinata bounding towards them. Bokuto pulled the three of them into his arms. It didn’t make him feel the same warmth as Kiyoomi's but he felt the excitement from his teammates regardless.
Eventually, the team shook hands with the other. Atsumu couldn’t help but notice the way Kiyoomi’s eyes lingered on Ushijima.
Atsumu had remembered that they had been friends but he couldn’t help the jealousy he felt.
Atsumu’s mind couldn’t linger on it because he was pulled every which way for interviews.
One specific interviewer had stuck out to him though.
The journalist was a younger woman, probably not much older than him.
“Miya, I’m glad you have some time to chat with me.”
“‘Course, how could I let ya down?”
Atsumu winked at her and he tried not to notice the way she got flustered.
“I noticed that you and Sakusa played very cohesively in this game so I have to ask, how did the two of you get so in tune with each other?”
“Well, me and Omi have actually known each other since high school. We were both invited to the All-Japan Youth training camp and our friendship just grew from there. That was also where we first played together and I’ll tell ya, I’m glad that we get to play together everyday now.”
Atsumu felt himself smile as he recalled meeting Kiyoomi.
“Thank you so much for your time, Miya. I hope you have a successful rest of your season.”
“Of course, have a good one.” Atsumu made sure to add in one last wink.
–
After the team got back to the hotel, Kiyoomi took the first shower. Atsumu had decided to opt out of the team dinner after the game. It wasn’t that he didn’t love his teammates but if he was going to spend another nine hours on the bus with them, he needed a moment apart. He was just going to find a convenience store and get something easy.
When Kiyoomi stepped out of the bathroom this time, he was fully covered. Atsumu was a little bit disappointed but he wouldn’t tell anyone that.
“I’m done in the bathroom so you’re free to shower.”
Atsumu was looking through what the media said about the game so he responded without looking up.
“Alright, sounds good.”
“Miya you stink please shower.”
“Ya sure Omi? I bet ya think I smell great.”
Atsumu put his phone and walked closer to Kiyoomi.
Atsumu swore Kiyoomi blushed at that but he couldn’t tell since Kiyoomi kept backing up.
“I swear to God if you get any closer to me I will hit you.”
“Ya wouldn’t hit me Omi. Ya love me.”
Before Atsumu backed him into a wall, he quickly diverted to the bathroom.
“Don’tcha worry, I was going ta shower anyway.”
Kiyoomi rolled his eyes before he walked over to his bed.
Atsumu showered but when he finished, he was surprised to see that Kiyoomi wasn’t there. Atsumu didn’t think he would go to the team dinner so where did he go?
Atsumu decided to go out and grab dinner to waste time. Luckily for him, there was a convenience store not too far away so it didn’t take long at all.
When he got back to the hotel, Kiyoomi still hadn't come back. Atsumu ate his dinner in silence and turned on the TV. He didn’t watch TV often but he didn’t have much else to do. Part of him was surprised that Kiyoomi hadn’t told him where he was going. They were friends and to be honest, Kiyoomi was probably his closest friend.
After a couple of hours, Atsumu heard the door unlock and Kiyoomi walked in.
“Hey there, Omi. Where didja go?”
The look on Kiyoomi’s face almost made it seem like he had been caught doing something he shouldn’t have been.
“I went to dinner with Ushijima.”
Atsumu hadn’t realized that they were that close.
“Oh.” Atsumu didn’t mean to let that slip. “I hope ya had a good time.”
Kiyoomi looked like he hadn’t expected him to say that.
“Thanks, Miya.”
The rest of the night was quiet. It wasn’t exactly tense but it felt like there weren’t words that needed to be exchanged.
–
After the first game,the games after that generally went well. Atsumu and Kiyoomi learned how to play together even better and they won most of their games.
After their moment in the hotel room, Atsumu and Kiyoomi found themselves getting even closer. They’d spend time with each other outside of practice and Atsumu felt like he was truly getting to know the real Kiyoomi.
They were in a better place than they had ever been and Atsumu didn’t want to ruin that. Even if that meant keeping his true feelings quiet even longer.
One day after practice, Kiyoomi came up to Atsumu.
“Miya?”
“What’s up Omi?”
“Would you want to come over after practice? There’s this action movie that came out and I feel like you’d like something stupid like that.”
Regardless of the slight dig, Atsumu was excited that Kiyoomi even asked him. Normally Atsumu was the one who made plans between them.
“Omi I am flattered, of course I’ll come over.”
Kiyoomi walked ahead of him before he paused.
“Try to bring onigiri.”
And with that Kiyoomi kept walking.
Atsumu showered and practically ran home. He was practically walking on clouds. He wanted to make sure that he did this perfectly for Kiyoomi so he did the one thing he knew would help.
He called Osamu.
He answered after a few rings.
“Whaddya want?”
“I need advice.”
“‘Bout what?”
“I’m makin’ onigiri and I want it ta be perfect.”
“Just do what I told ya ta do last time. Ya don’t need ta call me.”
“Well there is somethin’ else.”
“Tsumu, get to the point please.”
“I’m goin’ over to Omi’s later. That’s who the onigiri’s for.”
“Aww, Tsumu’s got a crush.”
“Don’t act like ya didn’t know. Just talk me through this.”
“Fine, but ya owe me.”
“I wouldn’t expect anything less, Samu.”
Osamu talked Atsumu through making the onigiri. Atsumu really didn’t need his help but he also spent that time bugging him for advice on what to do. Hanging out with Kiyoomi wasn’t new but he never went over to Kiyoomi’s apartment. The last time he had been there was when Kiyoomi was sick.
Eventually Atsumu finished cooking and headed to Kiyoomi’s apartment. He wouldn’t admit it but he didn’t even need to pull up the directions or anything, he simply memorized the way.
When he got to his apartment, he knocked on the door. When Kiyoomi opened it, Atsumu saw that he was already in his pajamas. He was wearing a long sleeve shirt with low riding sweatpants. If Atsumu looked close, he could see the definition of his abs.
Atsumu couldn’t have expected the first words out of Kiyoomi’s mouth.
“Did you bring the onigiri?”
“Who do ya think I am Omi? ‘Course I brought it.”
Atsumu lifted up the bag he packed the Onigiri into.
Kiyoomi moved to the side, gesturing to Atsumu to come in.
Atsumu took off his shoes and put the bag on the counter. He had only been here once before but it all felt so familiar.
Kiyoomi started grabbing plates from the kitchen.
“We can eat while we watch the movie as long as you don’t get my couch dirty.”
Atsumu purposely gasped loudly.
“Who even are ya Omi? The Omi I know would never let me eat on his couch.”
“Don’t make me change my mind, Miya.”
Atsumu helped Kiyoomi plate up some of the onigiri. Doing this, he felt a wave of domesticity, like this was what they were meant to do. For a moment, Atsumu could pretend like this was normal for them.
After they sat on the couch, Kiyoomi turned on the movie.
For the first few minutes, they just ate in silence as the movie played.
Atsumu noticed as Kiyoomi looked at him, there was something in his eyes. It was something sweet. It wasn’t love or adoration but it was something.
“This might be better than the last batch of onigiri.”
“Ya think so? I’ll have ta keep working at it to make sure it’s perfect.”
“Make sure to bring it to me when you do, I’ll let you know.”
Atsumu blushed slightly at the implication that they could do something like this again.
Eventually the two finished their onigiri, getting engulfed in the movie.
Kiyoomi made fun of it but Atsumu could tell that he was enjoying it. He could see it in his eyes.
After about an hour, Atsumu looked at Kiyoomi sitting next to him on the couch. The sun had gone down while they were watching and the moonlight flooded into the living room, washing Kiyoomi in the pale blue light.
It was almost fitting as Atsumu always thought of Kiyoomi’s moles as being something close to a constellation.
Atsumu wished he could take this view and freeze it in time, something about the calmness on Kiyoomi’s face was utterly beautiful and Atsumu wanted it to last forever.
While Atsumu was stuck staring at Kiyoomi’s side profile, the other man finally turned, locking his eyes to Atsumu’s.
The other man looked almost surprised to see Atsumu looking at him but it soon faded into something else, something that Atsumu hadn’t seen in a long time.
Atsumu could see something blossom in Kiyoomi’s eyes and the word began to slip before he knew it. “Kiyoomi.”
Atsumu never referred to him by his actual given name but the air in that moment was thick and this had become the perfect moment.
The other man responded in turn. “Atsumu.”
That was all that needed to be said before the two men began to close the space between them. Their faces were only inches apart when Atsumu stopped moving. He looked into Kiyoomi’s eyes, as if asking for permission.
Kiyoomi answered by cupping Atsumu’s cheek and closing the gap between them.
When they finally kissed, Atsumu felt a flood of emotions through him. He hadn’t realized it but this was what he’d wanted and now he finally had it. He finally had Kiyoomi.
Their lips fit together like a puzzle piece and Atsumu let his hand find its way into Kiyoomi’s dark curls.
Their kiss was something that spoke louder than words. It let out everything that Atsumu had been feeling and more and he could tell that it was the same for Kiyoomi.
It started slow and deep, but they soon started moving with more fervor as Atsumu’s other hand found Kiyoomi’s waist and Kiyoomi gripped Atsumu’s thigh.
Atsumu couldn't say how long it lasted but eventually Kiyoomi pulled away. Atsumu looked into Kiyoomi’s eyes but what he saw looking back at him didn’t seem right.
It was the look of fear.
“Oh God, what’s wrong Omi?”
Had Atsumu done something wrong? Had he hurt Kiyoomi? Had he misread the signals?
Kiyoomi soon found himself on the other end of the couch. “Miya, we can’t do this.”
Atsumu was shocked. How could he finally let Kiyoomi back in and this is what happens?
“Whaddya you mean we can’t do this, Omi? We’re adults, what is there to stop us?” Atsumu felt his voice raising all while breaking at the same time.
“We just can’t, I think you should leave.” Sakusa responded, pain shrouding his every word.
“No, we’re goin’ to talk about this. Ya can’t just look at me the way ya do and kiss me the way ya just did and then expect me to just give up on this, on us.” Atsumu was tearing up now. He couldn’t fathom how in just a moment, he had gotten everything and then had it ripped away from him.
“Please Atsumu, it’s easier if you just go.”
They were both standing now, face to face.
“I’m not leavin’ ‘til ya tell me why, Kiyoomi. Why didja let me kiss ya? Why do I have to leave when I know ya feel it too?”
Tears started streaming down Kiyoomi’s cheeks.
“Because I can’t be with you.”
“Then I’ll wait for ya Kiyoomi, ya know I will. I’ve already waited 4 years. I can wait for ya ‘til yer ready.”
“Stop Miya!.” Kiyoomi was shouting now. “I’ll never be ready, we can never be together.”
Hearing this took Atsumu’s breath, the tears finally broke loose.
Through broken sobs, Atsumu responded. “How could you do this to me again?” His chest was heaving with every word.
Kiyoomi lifted his hand, as if he wanted to comfort Atsumu, but put it back down. “I didn’t want it to be like this.”
“Like hell ya didn’t!”
“Fine! It’s- It’s because-“ Kiyoomi couldn’t get through his sentence.
“It’s because what, Sakusa? Spit it out!” Atsumu spoke with venom on his tongue.
A look of utter sadness washed over Kiyoomi. “It’s because I’m engaged, Atsumu. I’m engaged to Ushijima Wakatoshi and we’ll be married by the end of the year.”
At that moment, time finally did stop for Miya Atsumu.