Archive of Our Own

A few weeks after his twenty-third birthday, Thoma was formally summoned to meet with Kamisato Ayato. The message was delivered in the form of a letter placed outside his door, complete with the Kamisato seal and signed by his lord’s own pen. It was unusually formal for a simple request.

Even though Thoma grew up a son of a servant for the Kamisato estate, he and his father were always treated like family. It was the kind of respect that came from generations of service, a tradition Thoma was taught to honor and was expected to continue once he came of age.

And yet they never forgot their place as servants of the household. The Kamisatos, after all, were given the Gift of Eternity, and Thoma’s family was mortal.

The older brother Ayato was quick to take control of the household once he came of age, relieving his father from the duties of the commission and allowing him to pass on in peace. Eternity was not immortality. He had run the family for almost three hundred years, and was ready to hand it to his son.

The commission thrived under Ayato’s command, and as Thoma got older he was allowed to travel with the younger Kamisato Ayaka across the islands to attend to family business. She always introduced him as she would a friend, but he would continue to bow before her as his ancestors did to hers.

When Thoma entered the main hall, he knew something was off immediately by the large paper screen in the center of the room. The one that they would put up when speaking with guests. Thoma had sat beside the divider on numerous occasions to serve the siblings while guests were present, but rarely would he be completely on this side.

He looked to the left, and was startled to see his father kneeling where he usually would, eyes closed and hands folded in his lap. Attentive and at ease.

Thoma took a deep breath and lowered himself to the ground in front of the screen, knees hitting the hard mat. The expectations were clear - he would speak with Ayato from here.

“My lord, I have come at your summons.”

There was a brief pause, then Ayato’s voice carried from behind the screen. “Welcome, Thoma. My apologies for the formalities, certain traditions are necessary as some… precautions are required.”

Precautions? For what? Ayato was perhaps the most careful person he knew - there were no dangers within the estate that would require such caution.

But Thoma did not speak. Although he had not been trained in formal appearances, he had attended to many. Just because Ayato was his friend did not negate the fact that he was Thoma’s lord first.

“Today’s ceremony will be conducted in three parts. First, you will swear yourself to secrecy, that you will not disclose anything we discuss here today on pain of death. After which, I will present our family’s final secret. If you still wish to serve us after knowing, you may swear to it as well. You may now speak.”

Thoma placed his hands on the floor and bowed low. Even if Ayato could not see him, he had seen others do similar before, and it felt right. “I am grateful that you have chosen me to receive your secret, my lord, and gladly swear that I shall never betray your trust by allowing others the knowledge you bestow on me today.”

“Rise, Thoma.” Thoma had always been eager to serve, bowing before them even when requested not to, so it was no surprise that Ayato would notice. He straightened his back and looked back to the screen before him.

Ayato kept speaking. “What do you know about vampires?”

“They are a type of humans that drink blood as sustenance, my lord, originating from Monstadt. I met one once in Ritou, though I wouldn’t have known if he didn’t tell me.”

“Very good. Exactly what I had expected of my esteemed housekeeper. However,” a shiver ran down Thoma’s spine as Ayato spoke, “there are various types of vampires. Not all of them need to drink blood, or originate from Monstadt.

“The Gift of Eternity, bestowed on the bloodlines of a few select families of Inazuma, gives an unusually long life to the recipients. Once one reaches the age of twenty five, they stop aging indefinitely. This is common knowledge to all of Inazuma, and has the unintended side effect of making the oldest in our lines be seen as deities in their own right.

“But in reality it is equal parts a blessing and a curse. While we are effectively immortal, both myself and Ayaka are no longer truly human.”

He let it sink in for a few moments. No longer human? Immortality had been studied long ago when it was first bestowed, and the recipients were found to suffer no ill effects. Was it all a lie? And what did this have to do with vampires?

As of able to read his mind, Ayato answered his question. “This has been hidden from the public so as to not cause mass panic. Instead, we each rely on our sworn servants to provide us with the means to live. That being, the blood and emotions of a human. We are Inazuman vampires, created by the Almighty Shogun herself.

“It was your distant ancestor to which mine first confided in, and since then your family has been feeding mine faithfully for generations. But do not take this as an obligation, Thoma, we will not hold you here if you choose to walk a different path.”

Thoma could barely believe what he was hearing. He knew the Kamisato clan was blessed with eternity, this was not new news. What was new was the knowledge that this made Ayato and Ayaka vampires. They drank blood. His family, his father, provided that to them. Allowed himself to be a juice bag for their lords, like his father before him. And they wanted Thoma to continue the tradition.

His head swarmed as he stared at the floor, barely breathing. For the first time that night, he was thankful for the paper screen.

“I will answer any questions you have for me.” Ayato’s voice was gentle as Thoma struggled to understand.

The first thing that came to Thoma’s mind was, “If you drink blood, why do you eat the food I cook?” His voice shaking a little as he spoke. What if they were doing it just to humor him? To keep up appearances?

Ayato gave a small laugh. “Though it does not sustain me, I enjoy the flavor. You are a very good cook.”

Thoma couldn’t help but gain a small smile. “And why do you only tell me this now?”

“You were too young to hear it before. I’m sorry if you feel that we deceived you, it was never our intention to harm you. This is not something we wish to be revealed to those we do not trust completely,” Ayato said.

Thoma nodded, despite the fact that Ayato could not see him.

Ayato continued speaking, “I tell you this now as a favor for your father. Tradition dictates we wait until you are twenty five, but as Ayaka comes of age this year it would be cruel for him to have to provide for us both.”

“So I have no choice then?” Thoma said, fighting to keep his voice even. “If I refuse my lord, then my father will suffer?”

“No. I will find someone else to perform the duties required.”

Thoma wiped his sweaty palms on his thighs, still staring at the floor, bracing himself. “What duties would be required of me?”

A pause, then, “you would be required to donate emotions twice a week and blood once every two weeks. You will become the personal attendant of Miss Ayaka and see to her well-being at all times.”

“Emotions?”

“Yes. It will be much easier to demonstrate should you agree, but I can assure you that neither will cause lasting harm on your body or mind when done correctly.”

“I…” Thoma trailed off. He wasn’t prepared in the slightest for this sort of revelation, and felt like he was struggling to swim through a riptide. “Does it hurt? He whispered.

“It can,” came Ayato’s voice, soft and sincere. “I won’t lie and say it is always painless. But please also know that we take great care of those in our employ, and do everything within our power to prevent causing harm.”

“It’s a game of trust,” Thoma said before he could stop himself.

Ayato gave a short laugh at his outburst. “I suppose it is.”

Thoma didn’t speak for a long moment, trying to take it all in. By his own admission, Ayato trusted Thoma with his secret. Even if he refused, Ayato had faith that Thoma wouldn’t share this information with their enemies. They wanted him to willingly give them his life. And although his heart swirled with fear, for this reason alone it also sang with the desire to help them.

They were always so kind and giving, he wanted for nothing under their care. From a young age he gladly served them of his own volition, safe in the knowledge that they would never harm him, that he would never be left alone. He trusted them without question. Even now, he understood why Ayato had insisted on having a screen between them - it was both to protect Thoma, and to let him make the choice without seeing Ayato’s reaction.

Reaching inside himself, he still found that trust still growing like a flower about to bloom. What he learned today hadn’t even made a dent. He would go to the ends of the world if requested of him.

He knew his answer.

Thoma straightened his back once again and laid his palms in his lap. The weight of his ancestors were heavy on his shoulders, and like his father before him and his fathers before that, Thoma kneeled before their lord to swear himself into their service.

His voice came out cracked at first, clearing as he spoke. “My lord, I will gladly swear myself into the service of the Kamisato clan for this purpose. I trust you and wish to help you. There is nothing I want more.” As the words settled in his heart, he knew they were true.

A small flash of red light illuminated the room for a brief moment, nearly blinding Thoma as he stumbled backwards. Blinking the light out of his eyes and rolling back on to his knees, he noticed a small red gemstone on the floor in front of him.

It was smooth to the touch, and polished like a mirror. Looking through it he could barely make out a symbol that resembled fire. A pyro vision.

“Congratulations, Thoma.” Started, he glanced upwards towards the screen. “And may I officially welcome you into my service.”

“Thank you, my lord,” Thoma breathed.

His father unfolded his hands and stood, walking over to where Thoma still knelt, and silently presented him with an intricate gold vision casing.

“I’m proud of you, son.” He whispered.

Thoma wiped a tear from his eyes as he placed the vision in its casing.

—

“Place your hands here.”

Cold hands grasped Thoma’s shoulder, and he suppressed a flinch.

“Sorry,” Ayaka mumbled from behind him.

“You’re cold,” Thoma replied, eyes closed in concentration. A catalyst floated between his hands as he sat cross-legged on the floor.

The fingers brushed across his skin, coming to a stop just beside his neck. “Here?” Ayaka said.

“Yes,” her brother said, “very good. See the vein right there? That’s what you’re going for.”

It was their first true training session together. If this was going to work, they both had to know what to expect.

For Thoma, that meant learning how to sit still. He was always moving, but to avoid injury during feeding he needed to relax. It was easier said than done.

Ayato was a gentle teacher. It has been his idea to use the catalyst as a grounding device, drawing Thoma’s concentration.

For Ayaka, the training was for learning how to not kill Thoma during feeding. That meant going through the motions again and again, memorizing his body and how to most painlessly take from it.

Cold teeth brushed against Thoma’s neck, and he couldn’t stop the instinctual shudder that ran through his core. It felt wrong. The catalyst sputtered and fell into his lap as he hunched over, head falling into his hands.

“Sorry, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to-,” Thoma whispered against his shuddering breaths, “I know you won’t hurt me I just…”

“It’s alright,” Ayato said, “you had a perfectly normal first reaction.” Thoma always appreciated his methodical approach to life, never judging or questioning. Slowly, his breathing calmed.

Ayato held out a gloved hand and Thoma took it. “Ready to try again?”

Thoma nodded. “Yes, I’m ready.”

“Alright. Focus on my hand this time. I am here, you are safe.”

He must have nodded to Ayaka, because next he knew her hands were on his shoulders again.

“This ok, Thoma?” Ayaka whispered.

“Yes.” It was difficult to focus on anything else, but somehow Ayato’s hand was grounding enough. When the teeth brushed his skin, he still jumped slightly, but he held himself together.

“Very good, both of you!” Ayato smiled. The teeth pulled back and Thoma hunched over again in relief.

It felt so wrong. Humans weren’t supposed to be prey, but cold hands and teeth on his neck made him feel vulnerable in a way he had never expected to. It wasn’t as if he distrusted his lords, he was still as determined as ever to help them with this. He would just have to learn to override his instincts. Even serving them for years they had never been this open with each other.

A small part of that warmed his chest.

“Why don’t we continue this after a short break?” Ayato said. “It looks like you need some fresh air.”

“No,” Thoma surprised himself. “If Ayaka is willing, I can still do this.”

Ayaka moved to the other side of him. “You don’t look well, Thoma. Let’s take a break.”

-

The two youngest sat outside together on the wooden steps, just barely shaded from the sun.

“Thank you for helping me, I know it’s been hard for you.” Ayaka was the first to break the silence.

“Anything for you.”

“That’s what I’m worried about.” She sighed, leaning back on her hands. “You’re always so stubborn. Just because you’re helping us doesn’t mean we can’t help you, too.”

Thoma smiled. “You don’t need to worry about me. I can handle myself.”

“But I do worry.” She said, exasperated. “You were clearly uncomfortable back there, and if you insist on doing this then we need you to be honest about how you feel. Ayato is too honorable to force you.”

“What do you mean, force me how?”

“He can read emotions, that’s why he wears gloves.”

“Oh.” He wasn’t sure where to go from there, but for some reason it didn’t scare him the way blood drinking did.

“We will never force you to feed us.” Ayaka said. “You always have control, it’s part of why Ayato will never take blood without emotions.”

“How do emotions even work?”

Ayaka sat in thought for a minute. “I’m not sure, Ayato will explain it better. When he drinks emotions, you feel numb, like nothing matters. It helps to soothe the pain of the bite.”

“That’s correct.” Thoma startled and spun around to see Ayato walking up behind them, holding two glasses of water. “How are you feeling Thoma?”

“Better, thank you.” Thoma smiled. Ayato held the water to him and Ayato, which they both greatfully accepted. “I was asking Ayaka about how emotions worked, and she said I’d have to ask you.”

“Hmm,” Ayato mused as he sat down on the steps on the other side of Thoma. “When I have skin contact with someone, I can feel their emotions. Not quite their thoughts, but more their heart.”

“Is that why you wear gloves all the time?”

“Yes. I view it as invasive, to read someone like that without their consent. And it helps to control my thirst if I don’t have access to it at all.”

Thoma leaned back and stared out into the courtyard. The sky was blue and the trees were in full bloom for spring. He felt no fear here with his lords watching over him.

He reached out a hand to Ayato. “Show me.”

Slowly, Ayato pulled off a glove and placed his hand in Thoma’s. He wasn’t sure what he was expecting to happen, but Ayato only smiled.

“You have no idea what this means to me,” he said, eyes bright, transfixed on their intertwined hands.

“What do you feel?” Thoma asked.

Ayato closed his eyes. “Joy, safety, happiness, loyalty, trust, resolve, curiosity. A hint of lingering fear.”

Something warm bubbled up in his chest again and Ayato beamed. “You always shine so bright, I’m not surprised your emotions are the same.”

“Do you want to drink them?” Thoma asked, curious.

“Of course. I would love to taste even a fraction of what you are feeling right now.”

“You can. I want to know what it feels like.”

Ayato’s eyes opened, looking through Thoma, making sense of what he wanted through the emotions he held. Then he breathed in, eyes closing again, and Thoma felt a pull on his heart like someone plucking a string.

It didn’t hurt, but he felt a small amount of numbness creeping into his heart. It was soft and easy, and he found himself enjoying the moment.

“Fascinating,” Ayato murmured, releasing his grip on Thomas’s hand. “You taste divine.”

Thoma blushed. “Thank you.”

“I just took a little, not enough to make a dent or remove an emotion completely. I could already feel enjoyment refilling the gap when I stopped.”

“I still feel a little numb, but it’s not unpleasant. I think I liked it.” Thoma said, placing a hand over his heart.

Ayato chuckled. “You did like it. When we feed to numb a bite, it might not be as enjoyable, but we would never take enough to permanently harm your mind.”

“You could do that?”

“Yes.” Ayato said. “In many ways it could be more dangerous than drinking blood. I could leave you a husk of a person, no thoughts or emotions, just my own personal blood bag if I so choose.”

“You would never,” Thoma said confidently.

“We would never. But that’s not to say others wouldn’t and haven’t.” He looked directly at Thoma now. “Which is why I ask that you avoid skin contact with anyone from the other commissions. Those with honorable hearts will wear gloves.”

“Of course,” he said, then, “thank you for trusting me.”

“No, Thoma, thank you for trusting us. It fills me with joy to know that Ayaka will be able to drink love and happiness under your care.”

Ayaka put her hand on Thoma’s knee. “I can’t wait.”

Thoma beamed.

—

The next few weeks passed quickly.

Thoma spent countless hours training, learning to dance with the fire that now coursed within him. Ayaka joined him as often as she could, pyro and cryo creating colorful displays of power as spear and sword clashed.

He learned to expect cold touches to his neck and wrist, no longer flinching away from teeth that lightly gripped at his flesh. It wasn’t a real bite, but it calmed him tremendously to know where it would happen.

Emotions never frightened him as much, and he found himself comfortably sharing them with Ayato even outside of training. Thoma didn’t need to be able to read Ayato’s emotions to tell that he enjoyed holding hands far more than he let on.

Their training became more intense, too. Part of feeding was bringing the human’s emotions down to almost nothing to numb the pain, and Ayato was determined to take it slowly. After all, how could Thoma feel discomfort if he couldn’t feel at all?

It was like slipping underwater and letting go, all of his emotions falling off of him and leaving him adrift in his lord’s hands. Ayato always left residual pleasure behind, to give Thoma something pleasant to latch onto when he resurfaced.

Ayato had explained to him that one of the main reasons they used a sworn servant was for the emotions specifically. In drinking them, the vampire took on those emotions as their own, so if the human was unwilling then it would be unpleasant for everyone.

Thoma vowed to never hurt his lords in that way.

Ayato just shook his head. “Don’t make promises you can’t keep,” he’d said. “Everyone feels fear.”

Despite becoming more comfortable with his new reality, Thoma still feared. Emotions were easy, but blood was not. No matter how still he sat for Ayaka, no matter how joyful he was when he brushed hands with Ayato, the fear swirled deep in his heart when he was alone.

So although it was no surprise to him when he was finally summoned to Ayato for his first trial feeding, he still feared.

—

“When you’re ready,” Ayato held out a hand.

They were sat cross-legged on a floor mat, in Ayato’s feeding room. Thoma hadn’t even known this room existed until Ayato brought him there, and he thought he already knew every inch of the estate. There were cushions scattered around the room, a futon for aftercare, and of course a first aid kit within arm’s reach. Ayato had also placed beside them a tray with various foods and drinks to aid Thoma’s recovery.

Thoma stared at Ayato’s hand for a long while. He had been expecting this day for some time now, his first real feeding, but fear still swirled in his heart.

“…I need you to be honest about how you feel.”

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

“My lord, I’m scared.”

“What are you scared of?” His voice was calm.

Trust. He needed to trust Ayato, he did trust Ayato. He could’ve let him feel it for himself, but somehow he found it easier to speak out loud.

“I’m scared that if I take your hand you’ll see how afraid I am.”

Ayato’s hand came to rest on his thigh. The layers of clothing prevented him from reading Thoma, but still grounded him all the same. It had been weeks since the cold touch frightened him and Thoma found his mind swirling as he desperately tried to ground himself.

“You can be afraid. It’s natural to be scared of people like me.”

“No,” Thoma said, shaking his head. He opened his eyes to stare at Ayato’s hand once again. “I’m not scared of you. I trust you with every fiber of my being.” It was true. “I don’t want to hurt you with my fear.”

“Oh,” Ayato's eyes went wide with surprise.

“I’m afraid that you will think less of me if I can’t do it or if my fear hurts you or if… if…”

His breathing grew shaky.

“I thought I was ready, but I’m not.” He whispered. “I’m sorry, my lord.”

Strong arms enveloped him in a crushing hug, carefully avoiding skin contact. Thoma reached out to grab the back of Ayato’s coat and buried his face in his chest.

“I will never think less of you,” Ayato murmured, “you are everything to me and my sister, more important than you will ever know. I want to see you happy. However long that takes, even if it’s never, I will wait for you.”

“Aren’t you thirsty, though?”

“Yes. But Ayaka can drink from your father until you’re ready, I can wait.”

“I don’t want to see you hurt.” I love you went unsaid, “I thought I had gotten past this, so why am I so scared? I want to help but I’m terrified.”

“If this is truly what you want then we can work through it together, like we did with Ayaka.”

His breathing was steadier now. Fear still grasped his chest, making him dizzy, but something sparked within him when Ayato offered his help. “I’d like that.”

He reached up his hand to the back of Ayato’s neck, his warm palm meeting the cold skin. He felt the man gasp as suddenly his heart opened like a book, spilling his fear and resolve and trust into Ayato’s control.

For a moment they just sat there, not moving. Thoma could tell that Ayato was fighting to hold back from drinking the onslaught of fresh emotions, but he didn’t let go.

After a few moments, Ayato pulled away slightly. Just far enough to see Thoma’s face without removing the hand on his neck. There were tears in his eyes.

“I understand,” he whispered.

Thoma only nodded, blinking away his own tears.

“Will… will you let me take some of your fear?” Ayato said.

“Won’t that hurt you, though?” They had circled back around.

“I would take many lifetimes of suffering before I would rather see you hurting.”

Thoma couldn’t stop the pure joy that seeped into his chest at those words. Disgust swirled under it, a terrible repulsion at the idea of Ayato suffering, and yet somehow the words also made him feel warm. He looked up to see Ayato smiling.

“Your joy is like fire, bright and warm and inviting. It is yours to hold and give away freely. I hope that one day I might taste it again.”

“You can,” Thoma said, but Ayato was already shaking his head.

“Not right now.”

Ayato was right. Thoma was too worked up, with too many emotions running through his head to count. Taking his joy would make it worse. If he was going to do this, he needed to be in a much better headspace.

“I won’t set a deadline this time. You come to me when you are ready.” Ayato reached up to grasp Thoma’s hand and carefully pried it from his neck. He held it between them in both of his cold hands and pressed a kiss to the knuckles. Another spark of Thoma’s joy ran through them both.

“I love making you happy, feeling your joy from my actions.” Ayato sighed. “The fear never truly goes away. It lingers like frost, coating your senses with uncertainty. You are so much more than your fear.”

Another kiss, then he lowered Thoma’s hand to his lap and let go.

—

Ayato found him a few days later while practicing.

Thoma was getting better at controlling his vision, moving on to more complicated routines. Both Ayato and his father looked on with pride as he twirled through the gardens.

“He’s really something special,” whispered Ayato.

“He truly is.” The man turned to Ayato. “How is the young lord? She has not come out to practice these past few days.”

Ayato sighed. “She is preparing for the turning, resting and coming to terms with it all. I had hoped that we had enough time but… would you be willing to feed her until Thoma is ready?”

“Of course, but what about yourself?”

“I will wait for Thoma, or visit another commission if I must.”

The man nodded, reaching out to take Ayato’s hand. “Please take care of yourself.”

“I will.” Ayato gave his hand a light squeeze..

-

When Thoma came in from practice, he was surprised to find Ayato and his father waiting for him.

“Thoma, I was wondering if maybe you would like to witness a feeding.”

Whatever he was expecting, it wasn’t that.

“You mean, have me watch?”

“Indeed. Tonight your father will provide for me. I thought maybe it would calm some of your nerves to see how it is done.”

Thoma looked between Ayato and his father. They were stoic as ever, but he could still see his father’s fingers lightly brushing the inside of Ayato’s wrist. A clear sign of trust. Had he always done this and Thoma just hadn’t noticed?

“Alright. How…” he trailed off.

“Bathe first, please, and continue the day as usual. After our evening meal we will meet in the room I showed you earlier.”

Thoma nodded.

It was his turn to cook that night, which left him plenty of time to mentally prepare. No matter how messy his role could sometimes be, he was always squeamish around blood. If Ayato made a mess, he might not be able to go through with it.

Of course, Thoma reminded himself, his lord had never even spilled soup on his pristine white jacket, so there was little cause for worry. He hoped.

After the meal was eaten and dishes washed, Thoma made his way to Ayato’s feeding room.

He wasn’t sure what to expect, if he was being honest. He knew the theory, had gone through the steps of a successful feeding, just had never experienced it himself.

When he walked in, his father was already there, sitting on the mat where Thoma had sat not a week earlier. Ayato was sitting on the mat as well, and to his surprise, Ayaka was sitting on a low couch. She motioned him over, and after a quick bow to each of them, Thoma went to sit beside her.

“Welcome, Thoma.” Ayato started. “You and Ayaka are here to see what a feeding looks like. However, I must stress that you are free to leave at any time. We will not take offense.”

Next to him, Ayaka nodded and took his hand. She was colder than usual, her turning rapidly approaching.

Thoma nodded back to Ayato. “I understand my lord.”

“Thank you.” Ayato sighed. “I must also ask you two to not to interfere. I promise no harm will come to your father, Thoma.”

They gave their words of agreement, and the show began.

Similar to Thoma’s trial, Ayato started by holding out his hands for the man in front of him to take. Which he did.

The change was instantaneous, like energy flowing from one to the other. The man closed his eyes and relaxed into the touch, while Ayato straightened before him. Carefully, Ayato moved one hand behind his neck, and brought his head closer.

Within full view of the pair watching on the couch, Ayato bit into the man’s neck. It was very clean, Thoma noticed. His father didn’t even twitch, staying perfectly still as Ayato drank his fill. For almost a full minute, neither of them moved except the bobbing of Ayato’s throat. When he finally pulled back, he did so slowly, licking the wound closed and gently lowering Thoma’s father to the ground.

Thoma let out a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding. They both looked content, in no pain. Ayato was slowly petting the man’s hair, rubbing circles into one of his wrists. It was peaceful. Not long after, his father started to stir, and Ayato helped him move to the futon, then fed him some juice and crackers.

Ayato explained in a low voice that they typically spend some time in this room afterwards, just to make sure he made a full recovery. That much blood loss is not easy on the body, and too much movement too quickly could cause him harm.

Thoma and Ayaka returned to their own rooms for the night. Thoma at least found it very difficult to fall asleep.

—

It was strange, waking up with the knowledge Thoma now had. The future didn’t seem as uncertain, and the prospect of feeding felt almost like something to look forward to.

And with Ayaka’s turning drawing near, he was running out of time to make a decision.

He kept himself busy for the rest of the day, avoiding the young lords as he went about his tasks. Partly intentionally, still sorting through his feelings, and partly just because his tasks didn’t require their attention.

He was so lost in thought while cooking dinner that when he felt a brush of cool silk touch his neck, he let out a small scream and immediately spun on his heels. The spoon he had been using to stir the pot whipped around and was caught mid-swing by a gloved hand. Thoma’s eyes went wide as he realized it had splattered sauce over the white jacket before him.

“My lord..” Thoma stammered, still in shock. “I didn’t mean to, I’m sorry-“

Ayato just smiled and took the spoon from Thoma’s hand, bringing it to his mouth to taste the sauce that hadn’t landed on his jacket.

“Your cooking is as splendid as ever, Thoma.” His eyes gleamed. “And I am glad to see your reflexes are still quite fast.”

“My lord, your clothes-”

Ayato waved him off. “A small price to pay. I didn’t realize you would startle so much.”

“At least let me wash it for you-“

“Thoma.”

The housekeeper froze. Ayato slowly reached for his hand and placed the wooded spoon back in his grasp.

“We can talk while you stir the pot.”

Thoma nodded and turned back to the stove. “I’m sorry, my lord, I wasn’t expecting anyone else to be in the kitchens.”

“I have only myself to blame.”

Thoma turned to look at Ayato, who had made himself comfortable on one of the kitchen stools. Thoma had to restrain himself from commenting on how inappropriate it was for him to sit on a dirty stool instead of a clean, cushioned seat.

“What did you want to talk about, my lord?”

“No formalities tonight. Consider us equals.”

Thoma nodded. It had been some time since Ayato had last requested this, knowing how hard it was for Thoma. He swallowed down his need for respect. “Of course, Ayato.”

“Thank you.” Ayato relaxed slightly, placing his arms on the counter (still covered in spilled ingredients that were getting all over his jacket). “How did you find last night?”

“Ah.” Thoma turned back to the pot and gave it a stir. “It… wasn’t as bad as I thought.”

“Hmm?”

“I was never worried, more… scared of the unknown I guess? I was afraid that if I couldn’t handle it, I would have to go back on my word. That you would be disappointed.”

“As I’ve said before, I will respect whatever decision you choose to make,” Ayato said gently.

“I know.” Thoma took a deep breath. “And I don’t think I’m scared anymore.”

Ayato didn’t comment, so Thoma kept going. “Well, that’s a lie, I’m still scared, but who wouldn’t be? But watching you feed from my father felt peaceful in a way I didn’t expect it to.”

“I am glad.” Ayato replied. “I do not fault you for your fear. It is natural and an important instinct to keep. But I am glad you found the peace in last night.”

“It was also… faster than I expected. Whenever you drain my emotions, it feels like a never ending void of, well, nothing. But watching, you were only really drinking for a few moments.”

“Fascinating,” Ayato mused, resting his chin on his knuckles.

“My father never commented?”

“He’s described the sensation, yes. And before I turned, I also experienced it. But an outside perspective isn’t something I am used to hearing. We don’t typically have onlookers.”

Thoma nearly dropped the spoon into the pot again. “Your parents fed from you?” He gasped.

“Of course. I asked them to. I would never subject someone else to this if I had not tried it myself.”

Thoma stared into the pot, stirring slowly, then brought a bit to his lips to taste. It was almost done.

“When do you next need to feed?” He found himself saying.

“In two weeks.”

“I will do it.” He turned and met Ayato’s gaze. The vampire nodded.

“Very well.”

—

When Thoma arrived at the secret room two weeks later, Ayato was already sitting on the mat. To his left, Ayaka sat on the couch.

“My lady!” He exclaimed, “I wasn’t expecting you to be here.”

She gave a soft smile and nodded. “If it is you who will be feeding me soon, I should see this too, should I not?”

“Fair point.” Thoma couldn’t argue with that. He approached Ayato and kneeled before him.

“How are you feeling, Thoma?” Ayato all but whispered.

He took a moment to gather his thoughts. “Nervous. But not as afraid as before.” Ayato had walked him through the steps many times in the past week, and he knew what it would look like from watching last time.

Ayato smiled and extended his hands. “When you are ready.”

Thoma took a deep breath and closed his eyes. He let the swirling emotions run through him, convincing himself that there was nothing to fear. He trusted Ayato.

He opened his eyes and took Ayato’s outstretched hands.

For a moment, nothing happened. Then he felt a light tug at his heart, shifting and pulling and drinking.

His fear and nervousness went first, leaving him in a daze of happiness and pleasure. But soon those slipped away too. His eyes fell shut and he felt his head come to rest on the vampire’s shoulder.

But that was all it was - an acknowledgement of where his body was. It should’ve frightened him, but as he felt cool teeth graze his throat, he found he didn’t care.

There was no pain, either, when the teeth sunk in. He could feel his awareness falling away as the vampire drank, cold hands holding him steady as he slipped into the void.

For a while, he floated. He barely registered when the teeth retreated, when the strong hands grasping him moved to lower him to the ground. There was nothing to feel, so he didn’t.

Fingers carded through his hair, and he sighed contentedly. A whisper of emotion. He leaned into it. It was strange how warm the cold fingers felt as they pet him, and he found himself enjoying the feeling.

A straw was brought to his lips, and he drank without a second thought. The juice was sweet and tasted lovely. A small chuckle from above caused him to grin. He loved that sound, and wanted to hear more.

With contentment brought happiness, and with happiness brought joy. It was slow, but easy.

After a while, he finally opened his eyes. Ayato was looking down at him, a smile on his face. It was a beautiful sight.

“Thank you Thoma,” he whispered. “You tasted divine.”

Thoma couldn’t speak just yet, nor could he move his head to nod. So he simply smiled back, accepting Ayato’s praise and letting it settle in his soul.

—

His neck was sore the next morning, as expected. But he was too busy being pampered by Ayato to really notice.

“My lord! Is this really necessary..!” Thoma exclaimed as Ayato held out a spoonful of light broth for him.

“Of course it is,” Ayato said simply, “it’s your first real feeding and I want to make sure you make a complete recovery. Blood loss is no joke, no matter how careful I am. So drink up.”

He brought the spoon to Thoma’s lips, and reluctantly the housekeeper drank. It was good soup — Thoma had cooked it the night prior as his lord’s request, but wasn’t expecting the man to feed it to him.

Thoma was ordered to stay in bed for the rest of the day. Ayato was right that the blood loss was not easy on the body. Thoma doubted he could stand for more than the few paces to the bathroom and back, leaning on the wall for support.

When Ayato was not by his side, he slept. When Ayato was there, it was often to get him to eat and drink, restoring his strength.

“How come I’ve never noticed my father like this?” He wondered aloud.

“Your father’s body is used to it,” Ayato replied. “It takes time for your body to adjust, but one day you could have a similar resilience. That is, if this is something you want to continue.”

“Of course I do.”

“I am glad.”

“It never hurt. I didn’t feel anything actually, though I suspect that was the point.” He let out a long yawn.

Ayato chuckled again, a musical laugh. “Indeed. Now, rest. I will be here when you awake.”

A cold hand came to rest in his hair, as Thoma closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep.
—

Thoma kneeled just outside the sliding door leading to Ayaka’s chambers. Eyes closed, he focused on the light breeze drifting through the hallway, the rustle of leaves outside.

He could hear Ayato’s low voice from inside the room, speaking slowly and firmly with the room’s other occupant. There was the occasional sniffle or a whine, and every time Thoma shrank into himself. He hated to hear his young lord hurting.

Eventually, the words trailed off, and footsteps made their way to the door. It slid open.

“We’re ready for you,” Ayato whispered.

Thoma nodded and stood, taking Ayato’s ungloved hand as he guided the retainer into the dimly-lit room. Despite the low light, Thoma could make out Ayaka’s figure curled up on the futon, her eyes locked onto his as they stepped forward.

Ayato placed himself between Ayaka and Thoma, and guided them both to kneel. Thoma could see how she fought to hold herself back from biting him immediately. It was admirable, no doubt from years of training discipline.

Holding each of their hands in his, Ayato brought them together before him.

Thoma felt the now-familiar tug on his heart, surrendering his life into the hands of his lords. He knew that Ayato would hold him the whole time to make sure Ayaka didn’t take too much.

As the numbness overtook him, Thoma felt the cool pierce of fangs against his neck.