Chapter Text
The night was cold and the storm outside was roaring much like his brain. Thoughts of what he should have done whirled around like the wind.
Darius's hands gripped the steering wheel tightly; his knuckles had gone pale as he tried to focus on the road through the pouring rain. The wipers swished back and forth, barely keeping up with the downpour. His heart felt heavy, like a weight pressing down on his chest. His vision was blurred by both the storm and his own, as well as by the burning in his eyes from tears shed before. Tears he only felt he could shed because earlier he wasn't allowed to cry.
As he drove, the radio played softly in the background - His shoulders were hunched slightly, making him look smaller than he actually somehow.
"It's my fault..."
"I-I should have been there for her," he choked out as his heart pounded with guilt. "I should have protected her- I oh g-god damn it" He hiccups choking back on his sobs.
Brooklyn's funeral was still fresh in his mind, and the images of everyone else who loved her were fresh in his mind. Her casket, Kenji's glare, the guttural wails of her parents. All formed a quarter in his chest. Boring down on him so hard it felt like his ribs would shatter. New tears rolled down his already wet cheeks
Anguish filled him to the brim till the point he barely noticed he was physically tired. But why wouldn't he be? It was late, the plane trip back was long and the drive home was even longer. He should have stayed until the next day, as he was asked. They all wanted to stick together after what happened. But he knew better not to..
He knew Kenji definitely didn't want him to.
So the pain that festered in his gut was forced down into the deepest depths of his body. Forced down by all the strength that he could muster till nobody was around. He didn't deserve the sympathy not for his cowardice. He gripped the steering wheel tighter at that thought. "I deserve this," he whispered to himself, his voice barely audible over the sound of the rain."I failed her, I failed everyone. If I can't keep my own friends safe, what use am I to anyone..." He was weak. He was a coward. He left her all alone when she needed him most. All because he couldn't get over himself for his own stupid decision. His breath hitched, gritting his teeth in pain, at the thought of her, his brain hissing with thoughts of disdain. What she must have gone through in her last moments. The terror the pain of the betrayal of him not being there for her like he'd been for everyone else. More tears flowed burning his eyes. And now she was dead..... Brooklyn was dead all because of him. So he deserved this he deserved to be alone. He deserved every glare from Kenji and look of grief and disdain for even daring to be there in the first place. So it was only right that he'd be alone at this moment to let his grief out. Nothing but him and the rain and nighttime had a way of solidifying such a feeling.
The night held darkness so thick he could barely see a few feet ahead of his car. Like a shroud keeping him from knowing what was ahead of the light. The rain poured down hard, hitting the car's roof with a relentless drumming. Thunder and lightning crackle loudly overhead, illuminating the dark sky with brief flashes of lightning. The windshield wipers struggled to keep up with the deluge, smearing rain across the glass instead of clearing it.
His eyes continue blinking, making attempts to stay awake. To remain hyper-focused on staying awake, on not swerving in this bad weather. He was so focused on not losing control that he didn't notice the large, dark log until it was too late
There was a crash
His seatbelt kept him strapped in place as everything jerked around him as the trunk flipped and tumbled forward.
Glass shards sliced his skin as everything slid to a halt.
In his final moments, all he could remember was the pounding of his heart and the blossoming pain in his skull, his chest and neck. His face was now even wetter… and warm.
Blood trickled down his forehead, stinging his eyes and obscuring his vision. Every breath that he took, sharp pain went through his chest like needles.
Yet he felt Soo cold and scared.
This must be his karma.
To die alone just like she did.
A few painfully weak sobs wracked his battered body within those first minutes, panic surged through him, but it was quickly dissipated, replaced by a strange calm. This was it wasn't it...? That was fine then. At least this way everyone around him could be better off. They could forget about him and fully move on. His breath began to slow as he began to feel faint. Soon, Darius would start seeing dots flooding his vision. Darkness soon engulfed him like a comforting blanket keeping him warm and secure. He welcomed this embrace with open arms as everything finally faded to black.