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The dreaded day all year 11s try their best to ignore. I thankfully had plenty of distractions in the numerous missions Mrs Jones sent me on, however the number of missions she managed to send me on is a little concerning even if 80% of it was reconnaissance another 15% was training, because apparently I need more than 10 days of training. Who would’ve thought? I do wonder if she kept me busy in fear that the combination of stress and boredom would result in me blowing something up. She failed that of course, however it was only small and entirely legal, so nothing to worry about there.
Now, today is the aforementioned Results Day. Its 6 am and I’ve been awake for 97 minutes now, which isn’t too bad I’m surprised that I got any sleep at all so the 3 hours I did get was pretty good. Having managed 72 hours with just a few 30 minute naps on missions I’m fine. The small amount of sleep means that I avoided the nightmares I got for a few nights before, both about the same I went to get my results and they were terrible, you get the idea. I go to collect my results at 9.00 so I have 3 hours to kill, better to get up and do something than spend them catastrophising so I decide to go and shower.
Unfortunately being a spy tends to enforce a few different things in you including showering and eating very quickly so its 6.30 when I’ve showered eaten and washed up my bowl. And that was at a leisurely pace for me.
2 and a half hours to go.
I manage to use 45 minutes of that scrolling through social media and the news but soon that’s boring. There is only so many times you can comfortably hear the same 10 second clip of music.
7.15
1 hour 45 to go
I have resulted to cleaning my guns, which is annoyingly quick this is one of those rare occasions where I wish I wasn’t so quick at doing things. As I finish reassembling the last of three guns, the doorbell rings. I’m instantly on high alert or at least even higher alert than the impending results have me. I’m not expecting anyone. Tom doesn’t have this address. Mrs Jones doesn’t either, she would either text or phone if I was needed. I haven’t received any messages warning of a visit either.
Gun in hand, I creep towards the door and peep through the peep hole, breathing a sigh of relief as I see it is just Fox waiting patiently on my doorstep. I undo the bolts, chain and lock and open the door letting him in.
“Morning Alex” Ben says as he goes to make some tea, this is a habit that he had gotten into when he realised I often forget to drink anything unless something is placed right in front of me. However, he is meant to be out of the country on a mission so what is he doing here?
“Morning Ben, I thought you were on a mission. How come you’re here?” I ask skipping the pleasantries.
“Why to accompany you in collecting your results and enrolling in college of course. I just worked quickly on my last mission. It didn’t take long to get what was needed.” He says no more and goes to sit on the sofa. I’m living in a small flat now just a bedroom, a bathroom and a kitchen/dining room/living room I don’t need much so it works and keeps me away from the department. They don’t know about this place of course; Ben and Smithers help me keep it off their radar and I work odd jobs when I can to help afford bills with the measly pay I get from the department. At least it’s a bit more since Mrs Jones took over and since I started officially living alone.
We sit drinking tea in silence, and once we’re done Fox rinses the mugs, leaving them on the draining board.
It’s now 7.45. 1 hour 15 left.
“So we have half an hour, what do you want to do?” Ben asks.
I roll my eyes what am I supposed to say? Any normal teenager would just go on social media or watch tv, but I couldn’t, the adrenaline is too high I keep checking exits. I haven’t been like this in a while, well anytime while not on a mission.
“Right I think we should leave now, take bikes and take the scenic route” he says.
“Yeah, alright.” I say standing up from my seat to go in search of a jacket. Hey, I may be a spy but doesn’t mean my entire life is organised, I am still a teenager who leaves stuff lying around randomly.
I don‘t know why I’m so scared. Like the department could get me into any college or sixth form just there’d be a catch. I’d have to do loads more missions give them time I don’t have because I can’t miss most of my lessons for another two years I’ll fail my A-levels and I can’t do that. My GCSEs are just going to be scrapped passes I expect.
Most of the time I’m on missions I enjoy it it’s exhilarating, but then I get home back to real life and realise everything I’ve missed. My school attendance was 30% last year. I was constantly behind on schoolwork. I could have been looking at 6 or 7 as my lowest grade, but now I’ll be lucky if I get any 7s at all. All because of the fucking department and the fact that apparently the only good agent in all of MI and the forces is a 16 year old boy.
During the internal rant I find my keys, ID, jacket, water and helmet so I’m ready to go.
Me and Fox leave the flat at 7.55, we have just over an hour to cycle the 45 minutes to Brooklands. As Fox said we take the scenic route, which isn’t much different from the normal route when I cycle just slight detours so less is on the roads. Today Fox and I go right through Alexandra park and Highgate woods then cycle around Hampstead heath a bit before going on to Brooklands. Where I would have usually just skimmed the edge of them. It is almost peaceful, not many people are out at 8/8.30 in the morning and in the parks. The upcoming results are still haunting my mind though, so I don’t really get to enjoy it.
---
When we get to Brooklands, we lock up our bikes and just before we go off to the entrance Fox stops me.
‘Alex, you know that whatever happens we’ll work it out right.’
Or it will be sorted out for us I think cynically. We both know what the department could try and do if this goes badly. I only have offers from two places I want to go to, but I probably won’t get the grades and the other place would be fine but it’s in the opposite direction so it’d be hard to see Tom. I’d deal with it if I had to go there, I just don’t really want to, but when do I ever get to do anything I want to do?
‘I know’ I say as I continue to panic internally. Ben can clearly see it, but says nothing as I spot Tom waving and walking over.
‘Morning Tom, ready to get your results?’ Ben says as Tom gets to us.
‘What find out if the fates are on our side you mean? Find out my doom?’ Tom is in an overdramatic stressy mood this morning it seems, unsurprising really.
‘I suppose so’ Ben replies.
‘Onwards to our doom then’ I say and we begin walking over to the main entrance where other people from our form group are going. I’m glad Tom is here, he’s my best mate and I wouldn’t have made it through the last few years without him.
As we enter the hall we’re hit by a wall of noise, we may only be the third group to collect results, but there are so many people in the room already. Quickly scanning around there is people joyous at good results, people disappointed about bad ones. Parents happy, sad, surprised. Teachers everywhere talking, observing, helping. I always hate being in busy environment like this, too many people to be able to watch everyone.
We walk up to the table where all of the results are laid out, and Mrs Derbyshire gives us an envelope each ‘good luck boys’ she says, and we walk away making room for others.
‘Shall we go back outside to open them?’ Ben asks
‘Yeah lets go’ I say and Tom follows. I’m really nervous, I had been all morning, and really all summer, but I hadn’t really had time to properly think about it until now, when I actually have the results in my hand. My entire future is depending on a few numbers written on a piece of paper in an envelope. I barely acknowledge us moving outside and out of the way a little until we stop.
‘We should open them together. I know, I know its cringey but I don’t want to wait and I doubt you do either’ Tom rambles.
‘Lets get this over with then’ I say and Ben smiles encouragingly.
I grab my penknife from my jacket where it lives and use it as a letter opener, Ian always said you had to use a letter open, never rip the envelope. That is one of the weird habits that stuck even years after he has been gone. Tom meanwhile had ripped his open and is reading it over his smiling, when I glance up before pulling the sheets out of my envelope.
Mathematics 7
Geography 5
Physics 6
Chinese (Mandarin) 7
Chemistry 5
English Language 6
Biology 6
Spanish 7
Ok that actually isn’t too bad. I can do something with that. I didn’t fail anything.
‘Oh my god look Alex I got a 9 in media!’ Tom shrieks I smile ‘nice one.’
He stops and looks sombre ‘How was yours?’ he asks.
‘Actually not that bad, look’ I show Ben and Tom the paper with the grades.
‘Ehh! Looks like the department are gonna have to give you a break then!’
If only I was that optimistic.
‘That’s really good. Well done both of you.’ Fox says, ‘Where to next you both need to enrol in sixth forms or colleges?’
‘I got all the grades I need for my t-level so I’m gonna go to LaSWAP , it’s my first choice. Enrolment’s online so I just need to fill that in.’
‘I guess I’ll go there too I have an offer and Tom’ll be there. Just gotta hope they take me, they want an 8 in maths but will take 7s if I do well enough on a test at enrolment’
‘What are you going to take Alex?’ Ben asks.
‘Spanish, Psychology and Maths. I enjoy maths and languages, though I wish I could learn a new one my Spanish’s pretty good now other than the writing and psychology should be interesting.’
‘Yeah unfortunately they don’t tend to let you switch languages, you have to do the GCSE first. Can you boys fill in the enrolment on your phones, then we can go do something to celebrate?’
‘Yeah shouldn’t take long. I think they sent the link in an email this morning’
‘Yeah I got it here’ I say
20 minutes later me and Ben have grabbed our bikes, and we are pushing them in the direction of Tom and Jerry’s house, which is nearby so we can leave the bikes there.
We decide to go to Regents park, after raiding the fridge for snacks. We leave the bikes and jump on the tube across. It’s 11 o’clock by the time we get there, and a nice summers day so on the busier side of thing, but not too bad as it is also a Thursday.
We stop at a café in the park to get lunch to go. A toastie each and a drink predictably I get apple juice, Ben gets a tea, and Tom gets a capri sun. Finding a tree to sit under for shelter we sit and eat lunch. The talking is mostly Tom excited about doing his t-level. There meant to be really good for getting into the industry once you’re done because you get to do a placement one day a week, while learn in a classroom the rest of the week. Kinda like an apprenticeship but with the amount of time you spend on each switched around.
It sounds like it’ll be perfect for him. Things have settled a lot for him since he moved in with Jerry. His parents’ divorce finally seems to be getting settled, too, after years of Tom having to deal with them fighting constantly. I can only hope that things begin to settle for me as well. At least we’ll still be at the same college.
Once we’re all finished with lunch we walk towards the duck ponds, the plan is to go look around those then go to the zoo for the afternoon. I do enjoy duck ponds and getting to watch the birds just float around, looks like a nice life. Y’know who wouldn’t love to be a duck.
‘Look!’ Tom gasps I look to see what he’s pointing at. It’s a duck food dispenser, I forgot about this. You put a 20p in and turn the handle, then it gives you a handful of duck food. They’re really cool. We’re standing there, feeding the ducks, watching as they dive upside down to catch the seeds when my phone starts ringing
Bzzzzz Bzzzzz
I look to the caller ID ‘unknown caller’ that’s always concerning. I answer the call and put my phone to my ear listening for anything form the other end.
‘Hello, am I speaking to Alex Rider? I’m calling from LaSWAP.’ a cheery voice asks.
Ahh nothing to worry about then, I probably just filled something in wrong. ‘Yes this is Alex.’
‘Hi Alex, I’m sorry to inform you but we can’t accept you this year’ What am I meant to do? Where am I meant to go? And I won’t be with Tom. I’m going to have to just go crawling back to the department.
‘Can I ask why?’ I say.
‘Yeah so your grades didn’t quite meet the entry requirements, and your attendance record isn’t great, and we are oversubscribed, so unfortunately we can’t offer you a place.’
‘Ok thanks for calling’ I say quickly I want to get off this call now.
‘Of course, I do apologise and hope you can get a placement elsewhere, Goodbye.’
‘Bye’ I say before hanging up.
My mind is racing what am I meant to do. I don’t notice as I start to hyperventilate until Ben starts talking. I can barely understand him behind the whirlwind in my mind.
‘Alex, look at me. I need you to breathe’ I look at him but I don’t see him my eyes dart around looking for a way out but there isn’t a way out not from my head. I start to breathe a little more evenly though ‘Alex can I touch you? Lets sit down, see the tree just off the path there?’ I nod and he puts a hand on my shoulder, leading me around the tree to sit down out of sight.
After a few minutes, it feels less like my lungs are trying to squeeze all the air out of my body and I can see clearly around me.
‘You doing better now?’ Ben asks.
‘Yeah’
‘You wanna talk about what happened?’
‘That sixth form rejected me. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do now’
‘You have other offers don’t you?’
‘I guess, but what if they say no as well?’
‘Then we deal with it.’
I nod. I’m so glad Ben could be here even if the rest of k-unit couldn’t. He actually cares and actually tries to help.
‘Where did Tom go?’ I ask suddenly realising he isn’t with us.
‘I sent him to watch the ducks, I expect he is filming ducks like they’re daredevil thrill seekers by now’
‘Yep sounds about right’ I laugh and stand up to go find him.
‘We can stay here a little longer if you need. You know that right?’
‘It’s ok. Let’s just get Tom, and find somewhere to go so we can take a second attempt at enrolling me.’
I guess the plans for the zoo are off now. Maybe another day.
As expected Tom is filming ducks and throwing duck food wildly to try and get them to do tricks, which they aren’t doing.
‘Hey Tom’ Ben shouts over. Tom looks up pausing his duck related escapades and jogs over ‘You alright mate?’ he asks me.
‘Yeah but we have a few things to sort, LaSWAP rejected me.’
‘WHAT! This is outrageous they can’t do that’ Tom seems shocked. I don’t know why, I have been set up to fail at every turn here.
‘They can and they have. No point in dwelling on it. We just need to work out what to do’ Ben says.
‘Yeah so we need to head back… somewhere and sort stuff.’
‘May I suggest recruiting the rest of K unit for assistance? We can go back to mine.’
‘Yeah sounds good enough’ I mumble.
‘Right I’ll call them. If we go via Tom’s to get the bikes, then back on the train over to mine, we should get there around 3.30, I’ll say 4 o’clock to them. With that he steps away to phone Wolf, Eagle and Snake.
‘Come feed ducks with me, it will bring you indescribably and unreasonable joy’ Tom smiles and I follow him back to the ducks and duck food dispenser. Fishing a couple of 20ps from my pocket, I collect some duck food and am then tasked with throwing it dramatically so Tom can get ‘theatrical’ duck photos. I’m not entirely sure what he is getting, but I don’t think ducks are capable of looking dramatic and theatrical.
By the time Fox returns I have a multitude of ducks circling me, like I’m some god to them. I guess I kinda am, I have greater intelligence and supply food, those are some of the basic things that lead to people being worshiped.
‘What on earth have you done?’
‘Just becoming ruler of the regents park duck. Y’know average Thursday lunchtime business’
Ben rolls his eyes ‘Right come on we better get going’ and with that we set off once more.
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Time skip because I can’t be bothered to write random travel and it’d probably pretty boring to read too
---
We make it to Ben’s house at 3.30 perfect time for tea and biscuits if you ask him. If you ask me any time is a good time for tea and biscuits but apparently my opinion doesn’t matter on this subject. Frankly, I’m shocked.
Ben puts the kettle on while I find the biscuit tin from where its hiding in the cupboards. For some reason it’s in a different place each time I’m here. Once even it was in the oven not sure why. I should ask at somepoint though I expect that occasion was due to Eagle.
Tom is sat at the table and I join him opening up the tin taking a custard cream and offering the biscuits out before putting them on the table. We just sit quietly while the tea is made and just as it’s done the doorbell rings.
‘I expect that’s Wolf, he said he might be early as he was already nearby.’
Low and behold I go to get the door and Wolf is there.
‘We have tea and biscuits’ I say as I nibble a digestive and return to the kitchen Wolf calling ‘Well hello to you too Cub’ behind me. He shuts the front door and follows behind me. In the moment I had been gone, Fox had started another tea and was also getting out the tea pot. I suppose there will be six of us that is certainly enough to get out the tea pot.
Wolf greets the other two then sits and takes a shortbread from the tin ‘I hear your having some school trouble.’
‘Indeed’ I reply.
He looks at me expectantly so I continue ‘One place rejected me, one I only applied to on a whim and in a panic and one is a really good school but that’s where the department wants me to go soo.. yeah’
‘Why don’t you grab the computer and load up the websites while we wait for the other two’ Ben says I nod finishing my second biscuit and run to grab Ben’s laptop from where it’s plugged in on the coffee table in the living room.
Returning to the kitchen I open it up. Password locked. I squint at Ben and before he gets a chance to come over and put the password in I try and guess correctly. (having vaguely seen it over his shoulder definitely didn’t help me here) ‘Looks like you need to change your password again Ben’ Tom snickers.
‘It appears so’
Ben finishes Wolf’s tea and hands it too him and grabs a couple of extra mugs and puts them on the table with the teapot while I google the schools. Small talk begins as Wolf asks Tom about how his filming has been going, and before we know it there is another knock on the door. Eagle and Snake appear from behind the door and join though they sit on the kitchen counter as the table only has four chairs.
‘So do we all know why we’re here?’ Wolf asks almost in unit leader mode.
‘Mission: find Alex a school?’ Eagle replies.
‘That’s right’ it’s weird having people actually caring about me other than Jack and Tom. I like it even if it’s hard to get used to.
‘So Cub what are the options?’
I spin the computer around and start to explain.
We have option one: Waltham Forest College. This is about twenty minutes from my flat. I can do my subjects, Spanish, maths, and psychology but Tom isn’t there.
And option two: City of London School. They are really good and I’ve got a scholarship. I didn’t get the grades to go there but it’s where the department want me to go, they got me the scholarship, so if I decide to go there grades won’t matter. And it’s nearer to Tom. It’s further to get too as well I’d have to take the train for like an hour.
‘Well that seems like an obvious decision then got to Waltham’ Snake says.
‘Yeah I suppose I really don’t want to go to city so not much choice is there.’
‘We can work something else out if you really don’t want to do this. You do know that don’t you Cub?’
‘Yeah but I want to get A-levels maybe even got to university after though I doubt Mrs Jones’d let her best agent go for 5 years she’d not happy with mostly leaving me alone for 2 years as it is.’ I really wish Ian hadn’t left my tangled up in all this when he died I was 14 not old enough to be thrown into spy life. But I was and now I’m stuck with it.
‘We could get Smithers to create you a new identity and you can hide from them?’ Fox suggests.
‘It wouldn’t work they’d just find me and I don’t want to spend the rest of my life running and hiding all the time.’
‘Fair and also you wouldn’t get to see my lovely face every day’ Tom says.
‘Ugly mug more like’ I quickly say back.
‘I’m extremely offended by that. I thought you were my friend’
‘I do apologise Cat’ Cat is the name we gave Tom for when K-unit is around because of the whole Tom and Jerry thing with him and his brother. I think it’s funny he disagrees saying it’s a disgraceful nickname. Ben agrees with me of course so it stuck.
‘There being teenagers again’ Eagle stage whispers to Snake.
‘Maybe because we are teenagers’ Tom replies.
‘No please do not remind me that someone decided to put a teenager with us up at the Brecons camp it haunts me enough already’ Wolf cries.
‘Now, now children. I believe Cub has a college enrolment to do’ Fox tells everyone.
‘I guess I ought to get that done then. I’m gonna go next door to do it I’ll be back’ I say before departing for the living room.
Hopefully, this won’t take too long the other one this morning only took five minutes but they had wanted a load of stuff for us to do at a meeting I think. This appears to say I just need to put in grades and pick a date for my enrolment appointment which I’ll need ID for. Looks like I’ll need a hand from Smithers after all to get my passport or birth certificate. I’ll have to make sure it’s a genuine one too as I have a few fakes.
I choose the date for the appointment next Thursday morning. And fill in some of the other information they want. I can do the rest with the others around so I go back to the Kitchen.
‘Right they want me to write a personal statement and ambition aim, anyone want to have some fun with this?’
Eagle and Tom now have mischievous looks on their face I expect mine matches.
‘How do you think they’d take teenage James Bond on your personal statement?’
‘Probably best not if you’re trying to avoid the department’ Wolf says.
‘They’ll think I’m lying anyway,’ mutters of ‘true’ and ‘yeah’ follow that. I can’t decide whether to put anything about my military or spy work, obviously nothing specific but I could say I’m a cadet or something. But it probably safer to just say nothing. And language ability? I speak French, German, and Russian fluently and then my Mandarin and Spanish are pretty good. That is not ordinary language ability for a 16 year old.
‘Why don’t you just put why your doing each subject? So like enjoy maths and languages and what to learn more about psychology as it is an interesting topic?’
‘Yeah I suppose’
A few minutes of typing and I have this ‘I really enjoy all the subjects I’m taking. The problem solving of maths is something I love. Languages have always been an interest to me since my uncle started teaching me French when I was younger and I find how the mind works interesting and want to learn more hence why I chose psychology.
‘That looks good Cub’ Wolf says.
I nod ‘now just the ambition aim’ I always hate these things their like what do you want to do with your life and I’m just there like how should I know I’ve spent the last two years spending my time either trying to not get killed or catching up on schoolwork as much as possible before I’m thrown into another mission. I’ve had no time to have any ambitions and I still wholeheartedly expect the next mission I get to kill me and I have thought that ever since I started all this.
‘So Cub what do you want to do with your life? Fox asks
‘I don’t know, there’s an option for that so I might just say not sure’ I answer
‘At your age I think I still wanted to be an astronaut’
‘I’ve already done that’ I mutter
‘What!’ every says at varying volumes
‘Ha nothing’ I cover ‘So the only thing left to do is a load of work to prepare for the start of the year’ I finish. Hopefully there isn’t too much work to do I only have two weeks until term starts.
‘Right now that’s all done, I feel like we should get take away and watch a film how does that sound?’ Fox says
‘Yes, we’re getting Fish and Chips’ Eagle shouts
‘Shouldn’t Cub and Cat choose?’ Wolf cuts her off
Ooh this could be interesting personally I think we should get Indian but I doubt anyone will agree. Tom will choose pizza I expect and there is a really good pizza place near here so that’ll do nicely. I mouth pizza to him and he nods so that’s decided.
‘We’re getting pizza’ I say
Everyone nods and Fox grabs the menu from the draw of takeaway menus. Pizzas ordered we set to the mammoth task of choosing a film. With the level of trauma in the room we are generally limited to Disney/Pixar and Ghibli films but that’s alright there are some pretty good ones. However on this occasion my film selection is Shaun the Sheep: the movie followed by Shaun the Sheep: Farmageddon of course. I’ve been trying to get K unit to watch it for a while but there hasn’t been much chance as the last few months there has been very little time when everyone is home.
The other suggestions are How to Train Your Dragon, Alvin and the chipmunks and Tangled. Of course I manage to win the vote as everyone has already seen How to Train Your Dragon and Tangled, and sheep are greatly superior to chipmunks. Plus who doesn’t love Aardman films. During the great film debate Fox disappeared to go collect the pizza and just as we load up Shaun the Sheep the movie he returns with a stack of pizza boxes in hand. He pulls two bags of salad out from his pockets as (apparently we all need to eat more greens) and sets them on the table beside the pizzas. Tom grabs the box and opens it to find a pizza that isn’t his by the look on his face
‘Who puts anchovies and olives on pizza?’
‘What it’s nice and they are very good for you’ Snake replies taking the pizza from Tom
I agree with Tom anchovies are not nice and nobody could get me to eat them even if I was starving, trust me that happened once I went without food instead of eating the retched things. Olives aren’t great either.
I of course got meat feast with extra cheese and it is delightful much more sensible than anchovies and olives Snake got on their pizza. Tom has ham and pineapple, Ben has vege, Eagle has tuna sweetcorn which I had once and is actually surprisingly nice and Wolf has the same as me just with chillis. I think everyone except Snake has a decent pizza.
Once everyone has their food we all settle into the sofa as Ben starts the film and mossy bottom farm appears on the screen with a baby Shaun, a very young farmer and feels like summer playing in the background.