Chapter Text
There’s a man who sits on a bench on Soleum’s path back home. Underneath the tree and in the shade, he sits relaxed with his hand always containing a half-lit cigarette.
She can’t pinpoint when exactly she started to notice him. Perhaps it was when his clothes were haggard, like he had just gone through a disaster, that her eyes gravitated to him and then, simply never left.
“Sir, are you okay?” Soleum asks, taking a step towards the man who slumped on the bench in a way that her mother would silently shift her eyes away, saying ‘Just ignore the homeless man and just continue walking, dear.’
“Hm?” The stranger’s arm that was covering the upper half of his face leaves, and bright blue eyes stare into hers.
He’s dirty, Soleum thought as she stared at the face full of stains that she couldn’t identify and messy slicked slicked-back hair with something that definitely wasn’t hair gel.
Her gaze wanders towards his neck, a large scar decorating his throat as if someone intended to cut his head clean off. For a brief second, it seemed almost cool.
“I said, Are you okay?” She repeats.
The man looks down at his own appearance, and a small shiver goes down Soleum’s spine as his eyes roam over hers.
It was different from the ones she would get from the boys in school; it felt that he was trying to study her, trying to see into her soul.
“How kind of you,” he says, “But I’m fine.”
“Your clothes…”
He lets out an exaggerated sigh, his head leans back, “Can’t an old man relax after a hard day of work?”
Work?
What kind of work makes you look like that!?
She couldn’t imagine working in a place similar to his place. Honestly, she would’ve quit on the first day.
A small chuckle greets her ears, and she blinks. The man covers his mouth with the back of his hand, seemingly finding the shocked expression on Soleum’s face funny.
“Ah, don’t worry. The average job wouldn’t make you like this,” He gestures down to himself, his hand twitches, and almost reaches for a cigarette.
He doesn’t, the only reason being that she was here. It would be rude and bad to smoke in front of a high-schooler while looking fucked up, wouldn’t it?
Soleum knows that, so she nods and leaves the man, letting him enjoy his smoke break.
On her way back home, she thinks about him and his haggard appearance. About his sharp facial features, the clear muscle protruding underneath the clothes, the almost boyish air and charm to him that was rare for someone his age.
He was handsome. She thought, staring at her ceiling.
From then on, Soleum would walk more slowly when she came near that street.
The man, who said to just call him Choi, was almost always there. He’d be smoking, looking calm, collected, and almost a little bit intimidating. Then, as he sees her, he’d burn it out, and a small smile is shot her way that makes her heartbeat quicken.
Some days, they’d have small talk. Soleum asks about work and, through hidden messages, tries to get him to fess up on what he does for a living. Choi would say something to derail the conversation in anything but that, talking about how his job was worth it, yatta, yatta— yet staying so painfully vague about it.
It’s annoying, it gets on her nerves a bit, and he knows it.
Other times, they mostly talk about ghost stories.
“It’ll be tough. Maybe I would be able to do it, but something like that would weigh heavily on the killer.”
“What makes you say that?”
“I mean, everyone is a bad person in the cabin, right? It’s that trope where, since that character is bad, their death should be something that the reader cheers for and likes.” Soleum fidgets with the straw of her drink nervously as Choi's eyes burn into her.
“But, from the perspective of the killer, even when doing it to rid the world of evil, wouldn’t the amount of bad people just be staggering and weigh in on them despite the outcome? Besides that, some of the victims are young too, isn’t that kind of depressing in his pov?”
“Young enough to be a minor and get away, but old enough to commit crimes,” Choi comments.
“Hmph, your character seems a bit— well, idealistic? Noble for sure.” She pursed her lips, “I don’t know, though I feel like it would linger in his mind.”
“… Maybe you’re right.”
“Hey, it's your story.”
It’s a nice thing.
Soleum likes talking to the middle-aged man with a smoking problem and messy clothes; after all, her friends didn’t like to read horror, and she’d already given up trying to put them on creepy pastas.
She likes how Choi would mess up her hair when he greets her. She likes his outdated jokes somewhat. She likes hearing him say her name in that sing-song tone. She likes that sometimes he buys her a greenade drink on hot days.
She likes his appearance, his expressions, and his temperament that draws her in. She likes how he’s built, casting a glance at his arms when his sleeves are up. She likes his intense gaze, and she likes to imagine what it’d be like to see him above her in bed.
In the dead of night, small gasps and moans fill the quiet air of Soleum’s room.
“Choi-nim…” She moans, “Ah—ah…”
Her body rubs against the pillow, squished between her legs. The only clothing she has on right now is her top and her soaked underwear.
Soleum couldn’t help but feel a pang of guilt for doing this. She’s out here, masturbating and grinding onto her pillow, thinking of all the ways that Choi can ruin her insides, and the next day, she’d talk with him about a random ghost story he found on the internet.
It feels wrong, it feels dirty, and she wishes she had a picture of him while doing so.
The rocky, almost slow rhythm turns into something faster. A red hue courses through her, her sweat and pussy juice dripping down her thighs as she bites down onto her pillow, heavy breathing gone, replaced with muffled whimpers and moans.
Soleum imagines what Choi would do if he were here and saw her like this; in this position, like a dog in heat grinding for release while his name sticks onto her tongue.
Would he feel disgusted? Would he look at her with disgust?
Those electric blue eyes glaring, and a smile on his face that doesn’t reach his eyes. “Are you really this needy for me, Soleum-ah?” He’d say as his fingers trail along her back.
“Just look at you. Wet and on your knees, begging. Does humping to the thought of me feel good?”
She groans at the imaginary voice, the mocking words of Choi repeating, her movements quickening.
“Riding your own pleasure out, how’d you feel if I did that to you?” Choi smirks. Soleum thighs start to quiver. “Using you as a toy, fucking you till you’re nothing but a teary mess on my bed. You’d like that, wouldn’t you?”
“Ngh— ah, Choi.. y-yes—“
“Say it.”
“I—I want it…” Her clit pulses at the friction created. It’s desperate, and wet, and she beckons her hips up and down on the pillow, imagining Choi underneath her.
His hands would grip her waist, lying still as Soleum would bounce on his cock. He’d watch, and watch until he would thrust forward suddenly, with that sleazy smile as she’d gasp.
“You can’t only think about yourself.” The Choi in her head smiles, mean and full of teeth, showing his snaggle tooth. “What about your dear senior?”
He’d overthrow her, pinning and soothing her down with kisses as he entered in and out of her. He’ll be nice with his words, cruel with his actions, and Soleum would be pudding in his hands.
“Pretty girl,” he'd say. Choi has a habit of saying that, commenting on days that Soleum looked extra good, even when she looked the same, and that she was such a pretty girl, and oh, when will she ever get a boyfriend if all she does is hang out with an old ahjusshi like him.
The first time he called her that, Soleum blushed so hard it ran down her neck, and she went home earlier than usual.
It was the first time both her lips screamed for Choi, too.
“Augh— ah, Choi, Choi—nghh…” Soleum drools, her saliva dropping on the pillow, another list of fluids she’s staining it with.
Soleum’s mind fogs up in the haze of lust, wishing— craving for the touch of Choi as she chases that peak. His rough fingers with callouses caressing her body, his hips slapping into her ass as he whispers into her ear to be good and that she’s doing so, so, so well, and Soleum’s screaming his name when his cock slams into her one more time, filling her up as it leaks down her thighs.
She arches her back, a silent moan on her lips when her orgasm hits.
Soleum stays like that for a while, her sweaty body collapsed onto the pillow, the only movement rising up and down being her breathing.
Slowly, she gets off her pillow, carrying a noticeable wet stain on it. The sticky fluids are almost visible under the moonlight, and her pussy trembles in the cold air.
Lying on her back, Soleum didn’t feel entirely satisfied.
What is wrong with her!? Is she that sexually frustrated that she wanted more after that? This was pathetic, lusting over a man well-beyond her years.
She covers her eyes with her arms, groaning in anger. Sleep wasn’t an option today.
“Ehhh, you like him?”
“What? He’s cute.”
“That idiot, the one who doesn’t care about his grades? The one who can’t state an interval if his life depended on it?”
“Never mind that, he’s like a drywall. What is there to even like?”
“Well, first of all, he has gorgeous eyes.”
“Oh my gosh, those damn eyes. That’s literally your only argument.”
“Can you hop off my dick?”
“Fine, fine, fine; what about you, Soleum?”
The girl in question, Kim Soleum, blinks. She turns her head from the window towards her friends who were all looking at her with excitement and curiosity in their eyes.
She lets out a confused, “Huh?”
“Do you like anyone?” Minha asks, leaning into her. Soleum could feel a slight hunger aura radiating off of the brown-haired girl, like she would latch onto whatever answer she gave. “Or at least find anyone cute in our class?”
“Soleum, if you do, I’m telling you to raise your standards. There are no good-looking guys in our class, or grade, or school.” A tired voice says. The owner of it, Sohyun, slouches back on her seat, groaning in feigned despair.
Immediately, someone exclaims, “Hey, Joon is—”
“He’s not.”
“But—”
“Danah, on my grandma, he’s not.”
“He has a strong jawline,” Minha comments, shrugging almost apathetically as Danah lets out a whine that she didn’t say anything else. One of her hands reaches to twirl a strand of Soleum’s long black hair.
Soleum hums, her eyes glued to the twirling of her hair strand. She wonders if she should ever curl it. “And nice eyes, I guess.”
Danah almost jumps up with joy at that, her hands grasping hers.
“So you find him cute, right? He’s not ugly? He’s super pretty and hot and—“
“Well, I wouldn’t say that.”
A sharp laugh comes out of Sohyun as Danah visibly deflates, as if a comrade in arms had just betrayed her.
“He’s just not my type,” Soleum says, an attempt to make the girl a little less gloomy.
That and his personality sucks.
“He should be everyone’s…” Danah murmurs, “Seriously, what even is your type? Every guy I try to point out to you, you reject!”
Minha smirks, “Perhaps you should point out to an upperclassman, our Soleum-ie seems to like the older generation.”
A blush creeps up onto Soleum’s skin, her mind going to two people.
Obviously, Minha was referring to her older brother, the one that Soleum had an embarrassing crush on during middle school when October hit, and suddenly, he looked really good underneath the fall foliage.
Still, a certain man’s image came first, and she couldn’t help but turn red.
It didn’t go unnoticed by her friends.
“Seriously…?” Sohyun’s eyes slightly widen, “Is it someone in three-two?”
Soleum does her best to twist her face into a blank expression. She looks up to her friends, not a single sign that she was embarrassed was shown, and if anything, one would describe it as cold-looking.
“I don’t have a crush on anyone.”
Before any of them says something, she throws Danah under the bus; “Not unless I want to suck on a drywall’s lips like Danah.”
“What!?”
As her two friends proceed to turn and gang up on Danah about her crush on a guy that Soleum is pretty sure does weed behind the school, she mentally sends a sorry to Danah.
It’s just that— if they ever knew anything about Choi, Soleum will never hear the end of it.
“Your hair looks nice when it’s curled.” Minha suddenly says without looking at Soleum. “It’s pretty on you.”
She doesn’t need to see her to know the girl has a confused look on her face.
Minha knew from the second Soleum started dozing off, and blushing at seemingly nothing, that she had a crush. The girl was deceptively easy to read once you know her; Danah and Sohyun are just idiots.
She wonders who it could be that caught Soleum’s eyes. Maybe it was Park Yujun from the class next door; she supposed the pair would look cute together, and she had talked with the boy a few times enough to know he was a fan of horror.
Or maybe it was someone she didn’t know. Either way, Minha knew that Soleum wouldn’t say jackshit and would keep denying it with that poker face of hers.
“Your clips are cute too, maybe you should wear them to school some days.”
“Uh, thank you?” Soleum frowns a bit like she’s not getting something.
Minha didn’t expect her to. She didn’t have much experience in romance, and neither does Minha with guys, and while she can’t imagine a boy next to Soleum that she can approve of without sacrificing her tongue, it was nice to see Soleum’s glowing face now and then.
Besides, Soleum dressing up and looking cute was always a sight to see.
“Drink lots of pineapple juice too.”
“I don’t like pineapple.”
“Just do it. Totallylegitimateromanceplan.ca is telling you, Soleumie.”
“What does it even do?”
“It says that it’ll make your pussy taste—“
Minha went to the nurses' office with a bruise on her cheek that day. When asked what happened, she could only reply that it was worth it in the name of love.
It’s official; Soleum’s crush on Choi is developing into deeper territories.
At first, she intended to keep it a secret. She wouldn’t make any moves or delude herself into fantasies of Choi and her together for a multitude of reasons, all leading to the same large fact that it was an inappropriate crush.
Then she started thinking about him at night, and from there it just snowballed.
Those gazes and compliments, the brief, swift touches. They're big enough to feed her at night, small enough to make her want more during the day.
Nowadays, Soleum can’t touch herself. Not when she thinks about Choi’s hands over her body, and quits out of annoyance that she hasn’t experienced anything of the sort.
Soleum doesn’t really believe she’ll ever kiss or do anything with him— she’s not that deluded. She just wants his attention.
Yes, she gets it practically every day, but that was the normal kind. The one you give everyone else. For a second or two, all she wants is for Choi to look at her in a light that may or may not be appropriate. Is that so bad for a girl to dream about?
She blames Minha for putting that idea in her head.
“Your hair looks nice.”
That’s what Choi immediately says when he sees her.
Soleum tries not to blush too hard at the compliment, a finger touching the ends of her curled hair. “Thanks.”
“And here I thought Soleumie would never do anything of the sort.” Choi sighs, a hand on his cheek. His voice was high-pitched, like attempting to mimic a distressed mother. “Never dressing up, never doing your hair— I haven’t ever seen your hair up as a matter of fact!”
“Quit it, I can’t do anything about my uniform.”
Choi pouts, his lips quivering dramatically, and he puts his hands underneath his chin. “You’re gonna make me cry...”
“Then maybe ahjusshi should grow up a little.” She says, smiling sweetly.
The older man makes a face as if she just committed the worst betrayal ever. He leans into her enough that she would feel his breath on her.
“Soleum-ah, don’t be so harsh. You’ll make this ahjusshi sad.” He murmurs.
Soleum does not flinch, at least not visibly. She maintains a face of total neutrality at Choi’s closeness.
“I’m not being harsh, sir.” She says, eyes closed and face away from him. “Perhaps you need to check your ears. You know the elderly have a higher chance of going deaf.”
Choi backs away, looking offended at her words. “I’m not that old.”
Soleum nods slowly in a way that shows she’s not really listening.
“Seriously, I’m a young and healthy man.” He says, with his washed-out appearance, eye bags, and a cigarette in his left hand.
Great, not only does she have a crush on a middle-aged man. She has a crush on one who thinks he’s still young.
Soleum does her hair differently for the entire week. A low ponytail, a bun, a braid, etc, and a different accessory each day. Small, but bright enough to be noticed.
Every time, Choi would respond in the same way. Calling her cute and teasing her, asking her if there’s a special reason why she looked different today.
A warm feeling in her stomach would appear in her stomach, a small blush decorating her cheeks at his words.
It wasn’t the reaction she really hoped for— Choi meant it in a non-romantic ‘I’m not sexually attractive to a minor, let alone you of all people’ normal way. Yet, Soleum accepts it all the same.
Today, Choi reacted a bit weirdly.
He didn’t smile, nor say anything when his eyes saw her. Soleum raises an eyebrow, about to ask if he’s okay or if he’s having a stroke right now.
“You have glasses?” Choi asks, lips slightly parted.
His gaze focuses on her thin lenses with a strange look in his eyes, as if he were assessing whether they’re real or not.
“They’re reading glasses,” Soleum replies. She doesn’t wear them most of the time, only for long study sessions where her eyes begin to strain. Having just finished one with a few of her classmates, it seems that she has forgotten to take them off.
The cigarette in his hand is unlit. Soleum didn’t necessarily have a problem with him smoking, but sometimes he gets a cigarette from a brand that has too much of strong a smell that both of them dislike because it was the only one he could get.
She leans a bit towards him, lightly touching the tip of the cigarette and glancing at him for permission to throw it away like always.
Choi’s eyes were intense with their unusual blue color. One could even call it a bit creepy, and apparently, many of his co-workers do. Soleum didn’t really get it when he told her about it.
She gets it now. It doesn’t unnerve her as it should to see the dilation of his pupils or hear his heavier breathing.
Then, Choi turns his head away. She hears a low murmur, barely above a whisper: “They look nice on you.”
There’s a visible flush on the tip of his ears.
No way… Soleum’s mouth almost drops in shock.
“Choi-nim.”
“...”
“Choi-nim.”
Soleum watches, eyes widening as the flush deepens. A plethora of thoughts pass through; Am I dreaming right now? Is this real? And, does he have a glasses kink?
With a previous nonexistent confidence that has suddenly appeared, Soleum grins widely as if she just won a prize and whispers into the older man’s ear, “Do you like how I look?”
A sharp intake of breath. She feels like she’s on cloud nine.
“I asked a question.” She murmurs, voice dripping softly. A finger reaches up, trailing down the side of his jaw. “Do I look good, Choi-nim?”
Soleum almost flinches out of surprise when his head turns, but she stands her ground. She tilts her head down, glasses falling down her nose as she looks up to him through her eyelashes, blinking innocently, waiting for an answer.
“Ha,” Choi barks out a fake laugh, hand covering his mouth. There’s a tension in his features, and his eyes seem to pin her down. Seemingly, maybe out of pettiness, he moves closer to her till their faces are only centimeters apart. He touches her face; “When did you get so cheeky?”
She could feel her heartbeat quicken to a dangerous velocity, internally screaming even as she says, “I don’t know what you mean.”
The smile on his face doesn’t reach his eyes, and subconsiously, Soleum straightens up her back.
“Hm. Then, do you think I look good, Soleum-ah?” He asks.
“Yes,” It’s almost instant with how fast she says it. Really, how could she ever lie to him while he’s looking at her like that?
Choi doesn’t say anything to her, just hums as his thumb brushes past her skin to her lips. His eyes linger on it, her face brightening the longer he stares.
Then, when she expects something to happen— because Choi’s leaning in, and his finger is parting her mouth, and oh my god, is this really happening—
He pulls away.
Soleum freezes, not even blinking as she stares at him with an exasperated face.
Choi’s not even looking at her. His face is turned away, and his hand that was just touching her face a second ago is gone, clenched enough that she can see his veins.
“It’s getting late,” He says with a rare serious tone. “You have school tomorrow, don’t you?”
“I—”
“You should get going.”
Kim Soleum walks home with a singular thought repeating inside her head.
Did I just get blue balled?
Soleum hasn’t seen Choi in a while after that.
She waits for him some days, on the bench silently, until it’s obvious the older man isn’t coming.
It’s been evident on her face, apparently; parents and friends asking if something happened, if someone bothered her, or if school is going alright?
When the questions kept happening, she had been fed up and confessed that it was simply boy troubles.
Her parents laughed, chuckled, and became serious and lectured her about how boys are temporary, school is what’s important, don’t be swayed by someone horrible, etc.
Her friends, on the other hand, had a different approach.
Minha had decided that the best way to get over heartbreak— no matter how much Soleum tried saying it wasn’t that, the girl didn’t listen— was to get a new target to go heart eyes over.
Apparently, one of their schoolmates seems to be a good match with her in Minha’s eyes.
“Let him walk you home for a change. Having someone with you would be less lonely, wouldn’t it?”
So, she does.