Archive of Our Own

Jensen glances up from the fourth – or was it the fifth? – letter from Jared Padalecki, begging for leniency for his brother when Danneel drops a thin manila envelope on his desk, one eyebrow quirked at his secretary and best friend – okay, pretty much his only friend. After the shit with Jeff Padalecki he’d asked her to find out everything she could about his family. The only thing that Jensen had known about the guy before he got caught stealing from Ackles Inc. was that he seemed like a good guy – not that Jensen really knew him personally, that’s just what other people had said – smart, and with a good head on his shoulders and someone that had a real future with the company. In other words, not the type that one would think would steal from his employer. Especially an employer with the reputation Jensen Ackles had.

“This is it?” he asks incredulously.

Danni leans one curvy hip against the edge of Jensen’s desk, long, auburn hair falling in loose curls around one shoulder, her brown eyes glittering. If she wasn’t his friend and employee and Jensen’s interests even remotely went toward the fairer sex, he would’ve snatched her up years ago. As it is, even as a gay man, he can admit that she’s gorgeous.

She shrugs one dainty shoulder and taps her manicured nails on the file. “That’s it, boss,” she drawls, her smoky voice sounding like expensive whiskey and sex. “Just not much to tell.” She shrugs again and crosses her long, shapely legs and leans back on the desk, not caring about the papers she’s likely wrinkling.

“Okay,” Jensen sighs, digging his thumb and index finger into the bridge of his nose, trying to stave off a headache. In the hundred years that this company had been in the Ackles’ name, no one had ever dared to steal from them. He just needs to understand why. Sure, Jensen is a hardass and can be hard to work for, but mostly he’s fair to his employees. He just wants to know why it happened this time. And why now. Jeff had been working for him for years now. “Alright, Dan, I know you’ve read it, hit me with the highlights.”

Danneel straightens her spine just a bit but remains pretty much lounging on Jensen’s desk. No one but her would ever get away with that. And the bitch totally knows it. “Jeff Padalecki,” she begins, tone even and steady, “Oldest son to Gerald and Sharon Padalecki, hometown San Antonio, TX. The family relocated to Dallas when Jeff was six. Good student, good grades, no police record. Not even a speeding ticket. Came here right out of college. Younger brother Jared,” she passes him a picture, “and younger sister Megan,” yet another picture. “Megan has a severe heart condition that nearly bankrupted the parents, even with medical insurance and both parents working.” She pauses, her chocolate-brown eyes turning sad. “Their parents died a year ago, both of them, in a car accident. Drunk driver, hit and run. They never found the guy. There was some life insurance but mostly it went to the parents’ debts. The rest has gone toward Megan’s medical expenses. All out of pocket now since Jeff nor the other brother, Jared, can get her on their medical insurance. Jared had dropped out of college and was working two jobs while Jeff stayed here with us. Now with Jeff in jail, Jared has taken on a third job, trying to pay his brother’s legal fees on top of his sister’s health bills.”

Jensen looks first at the picture of the sister, Megan, taking in the smiling hazel eyes and long chestnut hair. Even though she looks happy in the picture, Jensen can see that she’s not healthy. For someone her age, she’s thin and weak looking. He thinks of Mackenzie and it serves to slightly thaw his frozen heart.

The next photo he looks at is of the middle child, Jared. Jensen’s eyes widen and he can feel heat surge through his whole system. The picture isn’t all that great but he can still see Jared’s exotic beauty, his tip-tilted hazel eyes and dimples that bracket his wide smile. His chestnut-colored hair is a mess of waves and curls and looks silky-soft to the touch. He’s the kind of guy that Jensen would totally pick up on a night out, fuck him stupid, until Jared can’t remember his own name or even walk in the morning then never see him again.

But Jensen’s getting tired of the one-night-stands and the gold diggers. And he’s tired of all the gossip rags around the Dallas area – hell, around all of Texas – printing his latest exploits and calling him the Ackles Ice Prince. Not to mention the shit he’s getting from his parents – hell, his entire family – and from the board of directors, who are sick of his partying and his love ‘em and leave ‘em attitude.

A sweet, earnest, innocent, endearing kid like this, who is just doing everything in his power to take care of what’s left of his little family, could definitely be the answers to all his problems.

In a moment of inspiration and recklessness – Jensen never does anything spur of the moment, even his hook-ups – he has an epiphany. It may not be the smartest idea he’s ever had and it could all blow up in his face, but he comes up with a plan.

“Dan, get me Jared Padalecki’s contact info,” he commands. Danni just looks at him, one perfectly sculpted eyebrow raised, obviously missing the obvious dismissal. “Now, Danneel,” he adds coolly.

Danneel slips off his desk and smooths down her skirt, shaking her head. “All their contact info is in the file, Sir,” she snips back, throwing her hair over her shoulder before stalking out of the room. Jensen sighs and shakes his head. He’ll have to buy her something pretty to make up for that.

~~~

Jared’s at work when he calls a few hours later. Not that that’s a surprise considering the kid works three fucking jobs. Megan answers and he can hear the exhaustion in her tone, from her illness or the stress of her oldest brother being in jail or a combination of both. Jensen asks her to have Jared come by his office instead of having Jared call him. For what Jensen wants, face to face would be better.

Jensen sends Danni an email since she’s still not talking to him, telling her to expect Jared sometime today. Hopefully. And to go ahead and send him on in. Hours have passed and Jensen is starting to think that the kid isn’t going to show – although kid isn’t a fair description, Jared’s twenty-three.

Jensen’s just getting ready to pack up at the end of his day – seven-thirty, earlier than most nights – when the door to his office swings open. He glances up and sees Danni gently sweeping one hand into his office. His attention turns to the person with her and he can feel that same rush of arousal from before, only about a million times worse. Jared’s pictures certainly don’t do him any justice. The kid is tall, taller probably than Jensen and he’s six one, with lean hips and broad shoulders, long arms and legs, the loose clothing he’s wearing not doing much to hide the flex of lean muscles under tanned skin. His tip-tilted hazel eyes are dark, squinted in confusion or distrust, maybe both, and his wide mouth is turned down in a slight frown. His dark hair – chestnut with a few lighter streaks of dark blond – falls to nearly his shoulders and is messy, strands falling into his eyes whenever he moves.

Jensen smiles. Oh yes, he can definitely work with this.

“Thank you, Danneel, that’ll be all. You can head on out.” He gets a muttered curse as answer and he cringes, upgrading his apology gift to pretty and expensive.

“Jared,” Jensen murmurs, standing from his chair and crossing around his desk, holding out one hand, “I can call you Jared, right?”

Jared tentatively takes his hand and gives him a quick shake, still eying Jensen warily. “What can I do for you Mr. Ackles? Meg said that it sounded urgent when you called.”

Jensen had planned to make his offer here, make it mostly business-like. In this moment though, he changes his mind. “I’m just heading out and was going to grab some dinner. You hungry? I’m starving.”

Jared blinks owlishly and runs one hand through the messy waves of his hair. “Mr. Ackles…”

“Jensen, please,” Jensen interrupts with a smile, already heading toward the door. He stops and presses one hand against the small of Jared’s back to urge him forward, the light touch leading him all the way to the elevator, then inside it.

“Mr. Ackles,” Jared repeats distinctly and pointedly. “I’m not sure what this is about but our lawyers have advised against contact with you, so if we could just get to the point of your phone call…”

“I got your letters, Jared,” Jensen interrupts with a smile. “So,” he shrugs. “That counts as contact.”

“Okay,” Jared sighs. “They’ve advised against any more contact…”

“Let’s not worry about lawyers right now, Jared,” Jensen dismisses with a casual wave of his hand. The elevator stops on the underground level which is were Jensen’s Porsche is parked. Jared glances at the car then back at Jensen, one eyebrow raised. Jensen opens the passenger’s side door for the younger man and sweeps his hand inside. “Let’s just worry about dinner for right now, shall we? I know this amazing little steak place…”

Jared’s cheeks flush pink and he drops his eyes, shuffling from one foot to the other. “I’d rather not,” he mumbles.

Realization hits and Jensen momentarily feels like an ass – an emotion he’s not really used to. “My treat, Jared,” he flashes Jared a winning smile.

Jared frowns, his brow furrowing, jaw clenching visibly. “I’m not some charity case, Mr. Ackles. I can afford to feed myself.”

“Not sayin’ that you can’t,” Jensen back-pedals, holding his hands out in surrender. “It’s just, my offer for dinner so my treat. We have… a few things to discuss. Regarding your brother.”

Jared reluctantly folds his long frame into the car – a vehicle clearly not designed for a man is size. The drive to the restaurant is spent in complete, uncomfortable silence. Jensen would love to chat, even to make small talk, but one glance at his companion and he knows that it would be a waste of time and effort.

Jensen leads them into the upscale restaurant and is instantly shown a secluded table in the back which is permanently reserved for him when he stops by. They order – or well. Jensen, orders – an expensive bottle of red and some appetizers. Jared doesn’t even open his menu. “Not hungry?” Jensen asks, not bothering with his own menu either. He already knows what he’s having. “Or would you prefer I order for you.”

“I don’t care what you do,” Jared answers quietly

Jensen smiles and orders their meals, taking the liberty to pour Jared a glass of wine. To his surprise, the kid downs it in a few drinks. Jensen refills without comment.

After they’ve eaten – Jensen is pleasantly surprised to see that after some initial hesitation, Jared ended up actually eating everything, including the bread on the table and the side salad that came with his meal, and more than half the appetizers. Jensen isn’t sure if that’s his normal appetite or if he just hasn’t eaten in that long.

Over coffee and a glass of whiskey and dessert – each – Jensen leans back in his seat to quietly study is ‘date’ for the evening. His first impression of Jared was both right and wrong. The kid is obviously gorgeous but he seems shy, reserved, which none of his research pointed to. On paper, Jared is happy-go-lucky and hyper and wickedly smart. He was a senior at UT Austin in engineering when he dropped out.

Thing is, Jensen has more money than he can conceivably spend in his own lifetime, even taking into account his extravagant lifestyle. Helping the Padalecki’s while helping himself wouldn’t even put a dent in his wealth. And God knows the poor Padalecki family could use some of his – until now absent – generosity.

“Okay, so time to talk some business,” Jensen states, letting his legs stretch under the table, hands folded on his stomach. “This little… issue with Jeff,” Jared scowls at him, his lips twisting in a sneer and Jensen is struck once again how adorable he is, “and the mess that it’s caused your family can be simply and discreetly taken care of.” Jared raises an eyebrow, the only indication that he’s listening anymore. “Way I see it, Jeff did what he did out of desperation. Having a sick sister, one that he’s now responsible for since the unfortunate and devastating death of your parents…”

“You don’t know shit about my family,” Jared cuts him off, cheeks flushed angrily, his chest heaving. Jensen is pretty sure this isn’t the appropriate time to get turned on.

“Actually, Jared, I know everything about your family. From your parents’ accident to their debt, Megan’s heart condition and the buttload of medical bills that come from it. I know that you had to quit school to help take care of them…”.

“Get to the point, Ackles,” Jared growls.

“Fine,” Jensen smiles. “A… mutually beneficial solution to all this. First, I drop the charges against Jeff, even hire him back, in a capacity that doesn’t deal directly with money of course, and let the board know there was a misunderstanding. I take care of your parents’ remaining debt as well as Megan’s. I provide for her the best medical care money can buy, hire a team of doctors and nurses, hell even get her a transplant if she needs. Unlike Jeff, who will have to work, her help will be completely a gift. You will be able to quit those three dead-end jobs and go back to school, best one in the state if you don’t want to go back to UT Austin, all expenses paid.”

“What’s the catch?” Jared asks warily. “I have to sleep with you?”

“Oh no, sweetheart. This kind of generosity comes with a slightly different price tag.” Jensen leans forward and smiles, eyes glittering as he stares into Jared’s. “You simply have to agree to be my husband.”

Jared sits back in his chair, blinking owlishly, staring at Jensen like he just grew a second head. “I’m sorry… What now?” Jared stammers.

“It’s all very simple. I make all your problems go away and you agree to marry me.” Jensen can see the wheels turning in Jared’s head, trying to find a way to get out of this. He shakes his head and smirks. “Think about it, Jared. Jeff gets out of jail, even gets a job back for the very company he stole from. Megan gets all the medical help she could ever need. You can go back to school. All of it for free. All your money problems just… poof, disappear. You just have to marry me.”

“If I agree, and that’s a big freaking if,” Jared mutters. “What happens when it’s over? Jeff goes back to jail and Meg’s medical help goes away?”

“That’s where the deal that’s strictly between us comes in,” Jensen grins, shark-like. “There of course will be a pre-nup. But in addition to that, a separate contract.”

“And just what does that contract entail?”

“We have to remain married for at least five years. You will be expected to move into my home, my bedroom. You will be expected to attend any functions that I’m required to be at, of course acting as the adoring spouse. You are never to talk to the press unless I’m at your side. And lastly, this will be an exclusive relationship.”

Jared raises an eyebrow and crosses his arms over his chest, looking entirely too smug for Jensen’s taste. “The exclusive part? That apply to both of us?”

“Jared,” Jensen frowns, shaking his head slightly.

“I know all about you too, Mr. Ackles. I’ve seen the pictures of you out with someone new every night. Won’t that look a little odd if you’re newly married?” He inhales deeply and exhales a huff. “I had every intention of coming to you, begging if I had to, to just keep my brother out of jail. But this… This is so far beyond what you can expect someone to do.” He licks his lips, eyes narrowing. “What exactly is it that you get out of this, Mr. Ackles? I’m sure you can get any number of pretty boys, or girls, to do this for you. Why me? Why my family?”

Jensen chuckles and leans back in his chair. “My reasons are none of your concern, sweetheart,” he murmurs. “All you need to concern yourself with is my offer. Think about it, Jared. You can fix everything, save what’s left of your family. All you have to do is spend five years of your life with me.”

Jared chews on his bottom lip, not meeting Jensen’s eyes. Jensen barely resists smirking. He knows that he has the boy, right where he wants him. Honestly, aside from the kid’s good looks and sweet demeanor – which will please his family and the board of directors – he can’t even justify to himself why he wants this deal to go through so badly. It’s not like Jared Padalecki is the only gorgeous, sweet kid he could find in a city this size. And one that would do it for a hell of a lot less money – and less hassle – and be happy to be seen around Dallas as Jensen Ackles’ husband. There’s just something about this one, something that Jensen can’t seem to put his finger on, that makes him want Jared. And Jensen always gets what he wants.

Maybe that’s part of the whole appeal. Any number of pretty boys – or girls if he felt like switching things up a bit and denying the fact that he’s completely one-hundred percent gay – would jump at the chance. Except Jared. And maybe that’s why Jensen wants him so damn badly.

“Won’t it look weird you all of a sudden having a husband, considering your lifestyle?” Jared asks quietly, finally looking back up at Jensen.

Jensen waves one hand and shakes his head. “Easy to explain. We met through this unfortunate misunderstanding with your brother and fell instantly in love. After a whirlwind courtship-slash-engagement, we get married.” He leans closer and lowers his voice. “Turns out neither of us could wait to make it official,” he murmurs with a wink.

Jared wrinkles his nose and sits back even further – Jensen refuses to admit that it’s adorable – and his shoulders slump. “You said there will be a contract?” Jared asks carefully. “A written one?”

“Yes,” Jensen nods. “One where we both have input. We can meet at my place and discuss it…” Jensen waggles his eyebrows.

“I’d prefer to do it in your office. With lawyers present.”

“Sweetheart,” Jensen sighs, frowning slightly. “This needs to be as realistic as possible…”

“I’m sure that your attorney will be there,” Jared smirks.

“Well, of course,” Jensen frowns.

“Then I want my lawyer there as well.”

“Whatever you want, baby,” Jensen smiles.

“That’s gonna be the first order of business,” Jared frowns, wrinkling his nose again. “No pet names. I’m sure as hell not your sweetheart or your baby.”

Jensen can’t help but laugh.

~~~

To limit the number of people involved, the table in Jensen’s office only holds Jensen, Jared, Jeffrey Dean Morgan – Jensen’s lawyer – Jim Beaver – Jared’s lawyer – and Danneel, sporting a brand-new diamond tennis bracelet from Tiffany.

The first points of the discussion; Jeff’s release from jail, having his name cleared, and rehiring him, Megan’s medical bills and on-going medical care, and taking care of their parents’ remaining debt, all go through without a hitch. The problems start when Jeffrey pulls out the ‘private’ contract meant to be between Jared and Jensen solely.

Despite the fact that Jensen had been very clear about their arrangement, Jared complains about every single stipulation of the contract. He doesn’t want to move into Jensen’s house – “My sister is sick, she needs me” – and he doesn’t want to share Jensen’s bedroom – “If I’m forced to move from my home, shouldn’t I at least be allowed my own space?” – let alone Jensen’s bed – “It’s a marriage in name only, in the public, why do we have to share a damn bed?” – and on and on. It seems the only part of the whole thing he doesn’t have a problem with is it being exclusive. From what Jensen could find out – meaning, actually, what Danneel found out – Jared isn’t currently in a relationship and hasn’t been since a few months before his parents’ death. Even then, she wasn’t able to find out any real details other than the fact that he’d been dating a girl from school, Sandy, for several years before they inexplicably broke up.

Just because Jared doesn’t have a problem with it, doesn’t mean he keeps his mouth closed though. Jensen has a feeling that Jared’s mouth, and his many numerous opinions about anything and everything, will be the biggest obstacle to overcome in this.

“My question still stands,” Jared mutters, arms crossed over his chest, glaring at Jensen. “Does that clause apply to both of us?”

“Jared,” Mr. Beaver leans over, muttering softly to his client.

“No, I think it’s a fair question,” Jared huffs, not glancing once at the older man. “I’m expected to keep up this farce of a charade, I just want to know if he’s expected to as well? Or will there be new pictures every week in the gossip rags about my ‘husband’s’ numerous affairs while all of Texas laughs at me for being an idiot?”

Jensen leans back in his chair with a smirk, one hand raising to silence anything Jeffreymight have to say. He’s gotta admit, he likes the kid’s spunk, that’s for sure. His attitude is amusing. At least currently. “You said so yourself, sweetheart,” Jensen reminds Jared sweetly, “This is a marriage in name only. Do you really expect me to go five years without sex?”

Jared’s jaw clenches and his glare hardens even more. “I expect,” he starts, voice low and hard. “You to respect our marriage vows, no matter how fake, and not humiliate me in public. Especially if I’m expected to do the same.”

“I do have the ability to be discreet, darling,” Jensen murmurs with a wide smile and a wink.

Jared bristles and shakes his head. “Thought we talked about the pet names,” he grits out. Jensen laughs, a real, actual, carefree laugh, startling both Jeffreyand Danneel. “But that’s not… Damnit!” Jared spits out, pushing himself up out of his seat and pacing away from the table, one hand running through the messy waves of his hair. He swings back around to glare at Jensen, arms dropping to his sides. “I’ve agreed to everything else, unwillingly granted, but I’ve agreed. Why is it so damn hard for you to concede on this one little thing?”

“Men don’t get to the position that I have by conceding, Jared,” Jensen explains carefully, not really meaning to but still speaking to Jared as if he was a child.

Jared’s cold façade drops for a moment, his shoulders slumping, eyes filling with emotion. Jensen narrows his own eyes, unused to seeing the shimmering depth of just how much Jared really feels things. It kind of leaves him speechless and a little breathless. Those eyes… Those can be dangerous. Deadly.

“I’m giving up everything,” he whispers, voice soft and strained. “My family, my freedom, myself. And I just want one little thing in return.”

“Expecting me to completely change my lifestyle isn’t just one little thing,” Jensen points out.

That glimmering fire returns to Jared’s eyes, drowning out the brief glance at the vast wave of too much emotion from just a moment before. “No, I’m just askin’ that you not continue to fu-” he cuts himself off with a grimace, his nose wrinkling adorably, “screw your way through the rest of Dallas’ twink population,” he grinds out. He paces away again, heaving a sigh. “Imagine just for a moment that you have actual feelings,” he continues quietly, back to Jensen, leaving Jensen having to nearly strain to hear him even in the stifling silence of the room. “And then imagine what it would be like, how humiliating it would be, for your lifestyle to continue and the whole world can see you out, cheating on poor, pitiful, stupid Jared.” He turns back to Jensen and he’s surprised by – and completely unsure what to do with – the tears shimmering in those hazel depths. “You’re essentially buying me, Mr. Ackles,” he whispers. “At least leave me some dignity.”

Jensen’s jaw clenches and he glances at Jeffery, giving him a barely-there nod. “What are your stipulations, Jared?” Jensen asks tiredly, rubbing one hand down over his face. They’ve been at this for hours and he’s just… so done.

“Same as the ones for me,” Jared shrugs. “You’re to remain faithful to our vows, our marriage. No relationships. Or one night-stands,” Jared adds quickly, modifying his own stipulations. Jensen smirks. Smart kid. “And if you break it, it nullifies the rest of the agreement between us. But not the contract involving Jeff or Megan.”

Jensen holds Jared’s gaze for a long, few, silent moments then nods. “Very well,” he agrees. He isn’t worried though. He meant what he said; he can be discreet if need be. He did for years before his position was secured within the company. “Will that be all, sweetheart?” he smirks.

“Can we do something about the stupid pet names?” Jared half-whines.

Jensen laughs again, taking the modified contract from Jeffreyand signs his name. “Not even a little,” he drawls with a wink. “That one is completely non-negotiable.”

The laughter dies away when Jared takes the contracts and hands them to Mr. Beaver to read over, line by freaking line. It’s Jared’s turn to smirk then.

For the first time, Jensen really has to wonder what the hell he’s getting into here.

~~~

The next problem he runs into is literally the next day.

Danneel storms into his office, pretty much literally dragging Jared behind her by the wrist – if Jensen wasn’t worried about the thunderous expression on her face he’d laugh his ass off at the sight of her much smaller frame manhandling Jared’s impressive bulk. She stops in front of his desk, one hand on her hip, the other still wrapped firmly around Jared’s wrist, her long nails digging into the thin, delicate skin enough that Jensen winces internally in sympathy. He glances up at Jared, not surprised by the stubborn tilt to his chin or the glare or the fact that he can easily tell if Danni wasn’t holding him so tightly he would’ve already darted back out the door.

“This isn’t my Goddamn problem, Jensen!” Danneel snaps.

Jensen barely bites back a sigh and leans back in his chair. “What exactly isn’t your problem, Dee?” he asks, forcing patience.

“Your fiancé,” she grits out, sarcasm thick in her tone. Jensen regrets involving her in this. “Doesn’t want… No wait, I’m sorry,” she tilts her head to the side, lips twisted into a slight sneer, “What was it exactly…” She taps a finger to her lips then glares at Jensen again, “Oh that’s right. He refuses to have anything to do with the wedding planning. I’ve been fielding calls from your entire fucking family as well as the wedding planner your mother apparently has already hired.” She tightens her hand around Jared’s wrist until the kid visibly flinches, shooting a glare at him then back at Jensen. “Call your mother,” she continues, forced calm, voice fake and sugary-sweet, “and deal with this shit yourself!”

Jared and Jensen both watch as she turns around and storms out of Jensen’s office, slamming the door behind her. Jensen sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose, his eyes fluttering closed for a moment. When he reopens them, Jared is standing there still – he’s kinda surprised actually – his broad shoulders slumped, eyes downcast, all but digging the tip of his toe into the carpet.

“Any particular reason that you showed up here to tell Danneel that you don’t want to participate in planning our wedding?” he asks tiredly. Not even married yet and he’s fucking exhausted.

Jared huffs a sigh and glances up at him through his lashes. “This woman shows up at my door at seven this freaking morning, some guy with an armful of binders behind her, going on and on about table arrangements and invitations and tuxes!” he half-shouts. “I worked until three, Mr. Ackles, then had to take care of my sister… I’d been asleep for five freaking minutes when they showed up!”

Jensen rubs at his temples and waves a hand toward the chair in front of his desk. “Sit down before you fall down,” he commands. Now that he’s really paying attention, he can see the dark circles beneath Jared’s blood-shot, red-rimmed eyes. He’s pale and there’s a slight tremor running through his entire body. The kid looks like hell and Jensen can’t help but wonder when the last time he ate or slept, if he’s even taking care of himself.

“Don’t tell me what to do,” Jared snaps, even as he drops into the seat.

Jensen leans forward, arms resting on his desk. “Now,” he goes on, ignoring Jared’s little outburst. “That woman was my mother. I told my family last night about our engagement. And I can only assume that she called some sort of wedding planner to take care of things. I apologize that she showed up so early this morning, Jared,” Jensen adds sincerely. “My mother… She’s a lot like me, I guess.”

“A bully?” Jared snarks.

“Decisive,” Jensen corrects.

Jared sighs and slumps back into the seat, his eyes fluttering closed. “We just got…” Jared cuts himself off and reopens his eyes, rubbing at them like a tired toddler. Jensen refuses to admit, even to himself, that it’s freaking adorable. “It was just last night, Mr. Ackles,” he eventually continues. “Was it really necessary to do it first thing this morning?”

“It’ll be a big production,” Jensen shrugs one shoulder even though Jared’s not really looking at him. “I’m sure that she wants to get things started. We haven’t given her a lot of time to plan things out.”

“You didn’t give her time,” Jared argues tiredly. “I would’ve been happy with a longer ‘engagement’.”

“Well, sweetheart,” Jensen murmurs, grinning when Jared glares at him again, “that doesn’t really sell the whole love at first sight, unable to stand not being together part of the story, now does it?”

Jared sighs again and shakes his head, crossing his arms over his chest. “Well, you want that to be the story so…” he trails off, shrugging one shoulder. “You should be the one to have to deal with her and wedding planners and all the rest of this shit-storm.”

“I’m entirely too busy to plan a wedding, Jared,” Jensen frowns.

“I have three jobs and a sick sister,” Jared snaps. “I guarantee that I’m busier than you are.” He frowns, shakes his head again. “And even if I wasn’t, I don’t want to deal with this crap. It’s bad enough that I have to… The circumstances are bad enough, the fact that I have to look at what’s left of my family, the people who actually give a shit about me, and lie right to their faces is bad enough. The last thing I want is to have to take the time, that I don’t have, to deal with your mother and the wedding planner.”

“Your brother will be released from custody later this afternoon,” Jensen informs Jared. “So, he’ll be around more to help take care of Megan for the next few days while Jeffrey gets the medical arrangements straightened out.”

“Okay,” Jared replies slowly, drawing the word out, brow furrowed. “Doesn’t change the fact that I barely have time to eat most days…”

“Why are you still working?” Jensen asks incredulously.

“Because I have bills and responsibilities!” Jared huffs, rubbing at his forehead, his eyes narrowing at the corners.

“There’s already been an account set up in your name to take care of the bills you have and another one for your personal expenses. I meant what I said at dinner the other night, Jared. You don’t have to work. You can go back to school, finish getting your degree if you’d like.”

“So, let me see if I got this right,” Jared replies, voice low and even. “I’m your kept boy.”

“No, Jared,” Jensen sighs. “You’re going to be my husband, which means that you don’t have to worry about money anymore. That was part of the whole deal from the start.”

Jared shakes his head and looks away, his jaw twitching. “I can’t just…” he huffs again and shakes his head. “I can’t just let you take care of every little thing for me, Mr. Ackles,” he half-whispers. “I’m giving up… everything. Working gives me at least some sense of self, lets me keep some dignity.”

“Don’t you wanna go back to school?”

“I don’t know,” Jared sighs. “I haven’t really even thought about it. After my parents… I just thought it wasn’t even an option…” he cuts himself off with a frown, shaking his head again. “Why the hell’m I tellin’ you any’a this? It’s not like you give a crap.”

“I asked didn’t I?”

“Whatever,” Jared mutters, rubbing at his forehead again. “I’m tired and I’ve got a headache and I’ve got to catch a bus back home so… It comes down to this. Your mother can do whatever she wants, I don’t really care about the damn wedding. I have very little time left in my home, with my family, so until I’m forced to move, I want you and your family to leave me the hell alone, Mr. Ackles.”

“Are you ever gonna call me Jensen?” he asks, sounding just as tired as Jared, even to his own ears.

“I highly doubt it,” Jared replies icily, pushing himself up out of the car. He stubbles as soon as he stands, weaving dangerously.

Jensen is out of his own chair before he even realizes he’s moving, arms sliding around Jared’s lean waist just in time to keep him from falling to the ground. Jared struggles half-heartedly against the hold but soon stops, glancing up at Jensen, his eyes glazed, blinking slowly. Before Jensen can ask if he’s okay, his eyes roll back and Jensen nearly falls himself with the additional strain of holding up Jared’s unconscious body.

“Danneel!” Jensen shouts, slowly lowering himself and Jared to the plush carpet. He cradles Jared against his chest, brushing back the silky-soft hair off his forehead.

Danneel slams the door open, lips parted to no doubt yell at him some more, but her furious glaze drops and her eyes widen as she rushes forward, falling down onto her knees in front of them. “What the hell, Jensen?” she snaps, like she’s sure that Jensen did something to the kid.

“He stumbled when he got up and I caught him, then he just kinda… passed out,” Jensen explains distractedly, finding himself still carding one hand through the messy waves of Jared’s hair. He forces himself to stop and look up at Danni. “He complained about having a headache and being tired,” he adds, shrugging one shoulder.

“We need to call an ambulance, Jensen,” Danni states softly and he can see the concern in her big, brown eyes. “Especially since he hasn’t woken up yet.”

Jensen nods and absently listens as she gets up and makes the call. He can’t look away from Jared’s lax face, the thin, bruised-looking lids of his eyes. His face is pale but his cheeks are a little flushed and Jensen feels worry niggling at the back of his brain. He tells himself that he’s just worried about the contracts and whether or not Jared might have some sort of medical condition that Danni didn’t find in his records that will affect their arrangement but it all sounds like the lie it is even in his own head.

***

Jensen accompanies Jared to the hospital. Danni sends a car ahead so that Jensen can ride in the ambulance with him. He wakes up a bit during the short trip, glaring weakly at Jensen while trying to convince the paramedics that he doesn’t need to go to the hospital. He loses consciousness again before anyone can respond.

Jensen had found out early in his life that his name can get him anything he wants. Needless to say, he’s confused when that doesn’t work at the hospital. The ER doctor banishes him to the waiting room while they exam Jared, completely ignoring Jensen’s threats and protests.

He frowns as he’s forced to fill out the paperwork, wishing he’d thought to have Danni come with him. Once he’s done with the huge bundle of papers and hands them back to the perky nurse at the counter, he demands again to be allowed back to see to his fiancé. She smiles sweetly and her eyes soften.

“I’m so sorry, sir,” she murmurs. “I know how hard this is, how worried you are, but we can’t let you back until the doctor’s done with him. But I assure you he’s in the best hands possible.”

Jensen barely bites back a growl and storms away. He paces one corner of the room that’s empty, checking his watch every few minutes. After nearly an hour, a nurse comes out and calls for the family of Jared Padalecki and for a moment, Jensen wonders if he should have called Jared’s sister as he heads toward the nurse – and more importantly, the swinging doors leading back to where Jared is. He decides that it’s best not to call her unless something is really wrong, worried about her heart and possibly somehow making her condition worse.

The nurse leads him back to a curtained room. There’s a doctor standing outside the drawn curtain and he glances up, smiling at Jensen. “How is he?” Jensen asks, not waiting for the doctor to begin.

“He’s okay,” the doctor assures Jensen. “He’s resting comfortably now.”

“What happened?”

“Mr. Padalecki is suffering from exhaustion and he’s slightly dehydrated. We’re giving him fluids and I’d like to keep him overnight, strictly for observation,” he rushes to add when he sees Jensen frown. “With some rest and fluids, he’ll bounce back, no problem.”

Jensen nods and feels something in his chest loosen. He tries to lie to himself again and say that it’s just that he’s glad Jared isn’t really sick and he doesn’t have to worry about nullifying the contracts. “Can I see him?” he hears himself ask.

The doctor hesitates for a moment before he nods, sweeping one hand toward the curtain. “Of course. Just remember, he needs to rest and to stay calm.”

Jensen nods, barely registering the final words as he pushes the curtain aside. He stops short just inside the little room, frowning slightly. Jared’s eyes are closed and there’s an IV in one arm. He looks almost small in the bed, surrounded by a stark sea of white sheets. He’s still pale but not quite as bad. He still looks tired, even in sleep.

Before Jensen can decide what to do – part of him wants to turn around and leave now that he’s seen Jared with his own two eyes but another part of him wants to collapse into the uncomfortable looking chair at his bedside and make sure that he isn’t alone when he wakes up – Jared’s eyelids flutter and open slowly, blinking and squinting at the harsh light from above. Jensen reaches back blindly and slaps at the wall until he feels the switch and Jared’s face relaxes a bit when the light turns off, just leaving a dimmer one on behind the bed. His gaze moves slowly around the room before landing on Jensen, a small furrow appearing between his brows.

“Wha-” he coughs and clears his throat, blinking slowly. “Wha’ happened?” he eventually stammers.

Jensen moves toward the bed, his feet moving without direct consent from his brain, and sits down in the chair, leaning forward, one hand sliding over Jared’s cold, clammy fingers. Jared flinches a bit at the touch, staring at him warily, but neither of them pulls away. “You collapsed when you got up to leave my office,” Jensen explains softly.

Jared sighs and leans his head back against the pillow, staring at the ceiling. “What’s wrong with me?” he whispers.

“Exhaustion and dehydration.” Jensen tries really fucking hard – he really does – to hold his tongue but the next words leave his mouth before he can swallow them back. “This is just another perfect example of why you need to stop working so damn much.”

Jared huffs out a sigh and closes his eyes. “’m too damn tired to argue with you,” he mutters.

“You obviously aren’t taking care of yourself, Jared,” Jensen frowns, shaking his head.

“Don’t have time,” Jared replies quietly, tiredly.

“You need to make time,” Jensen snaps.

Jared’s eyes flutter open to barely-there slits and he turns his head on the pillow to look at Jensen. “Don’t worry, J’nsen,” he mumbles, obviously already on his way back to sleep if he’s using Jensen’s first name. “I’ll be able to hold up my end of our agreement.” He sighs quietly and his eyes close slowly. “’m not damaged goods,” he breathes just before his body goes lax and sleeps claims him again.

Jensen’s frown deepens and he finds himself gently squeezing Jared’s relaxed hand. That sounded suspiciously like Jared repeating something he’d heard before. The thought doesn’t sit well with him and he plans to have Danni dig deeper to see if there’s anything else she can find out about Jared’s seemingly non-existent past.

***

Jensen leaves the hospital once they have Jared settled into a room. Instead of going back to the office like he’d planned, he finds himself heading to Jared’s house. He doesn’t know why the hell he’s doing it but the thought of his poor, sick little sister alone and not knowing what happened to Jared just won’t leave him alone.

When Megan answers the door, her eyes widen and she backs away a few steps, shaking her head. “What’re you doing here?” she asks softly. Jensen can tell just looking at her – even more than from her pictures – that she’s sick and he wonders about the brilliance of this plan. But he’s here now and he doesn’t want her to get worse from worrying.

“May I come in, Ms. Padalecki?” he asks politely, flashing her his best PR smile.

She eyes him warily and straightens her shoulders, standing up to her full height – which really isn’t much; Jensen can’t help but wonder how she didn’t get any of the height that her brothers have – and reaches into her pocket to pull out her cell phone. “One button,” she replies tightly, shaking the phone a bit in Jensen’s direction. “I’ve got my brother on speed dial.”

She steps back and lets Jensen inside. He glances around the small house as she leads him to the living room, frowning as he takes in the limited space and sparse furnishing and possessions. Why would Jared want to stay here instead of living in Jensen’s mansion?

Megan crosses her arms over her chest and glares at him, the look so similar to the one Jensen gives him that he can’t help but smile. It falls away soon though as he remembers the reason for his visit. “I’m actually here about Jared,” he says softly. “He’s in the hospital.”

Her whole body tenses and her face pales. “What’d you do to him?” she snaps, her voice trembling despite how she obviously tries to hold it back.

“I assure you that I didn’t do anything,” Jensen raises his hands. “He came by the office earlier to discuss a few details about the wedding and he collapsed as he went to leave.” Megan’s eyes fill with tears and she drops to the couch, her bottom lip trembling. “He’s okay,” Jensen rushes to assure her. “He’s just a little dehydrated and tired…”

A few tears break free to trickle down her pale cheeks and she huffs out a humorless laugh. “I told him he needed to slow down,” she mutters, almost like she’s talking to herself. “Told him that he needs to take care’a himself too every once in a while.”

“I told him the same thing, sweetheart,” Jensen huffs, shaking his head. Megan’s gaze snaps back to him and he offers her a soft smile. “He’s really okay,” he continues quietly. “Just needs some rest and fluids. But they are keeping him overnight and well, I… I wasn’t really sure about telling you, but I didn’t want you to worry when he didn’t come home or if you didn’t hear from him.”

“Thank you, Mr. Ackles,” she half-whispers. “Knowin’ JT, he wouldn’t’a said a thing.”

Jensen can totally believe that. “Please, call me Jensen,” he smiles at her again.

She nods, chewing on her bottom lip before turning more toward him. “Can I ask a question, Jensen?”

Well at least one of the Padalecki siblings listens to him. “Of course.”

“Why didn’t JT ever mention anything ‘bout you to me?”

“Well, I can’t really speak for Jared,” he mutters, shrugging one shoulder. Jensen has no freaking clue what Jared told his brother and sister about their sudden engagement.

“JT tells me everything,” Megan frowns slightly, eyeing him carefully. Jensen kind of doubts that. “Even about his relationships. He never dated a guy before, never once said anything ‘bout bein’ bi. Then all of a sudden, he tells me last night that not only is he with you, but that you’re getting married in a few months. It just doesn’t make sense.”

“I’m sorry, but like I said, I can’t speak for Jared.” He hesitates for a moment before adding, “I mean, I know things seem to be moving a little fast,” Megan snorts and rolls her eyes; Jensen can’t help but chuckle softly, he likes Jared’s sister, “Okay, a lot fast,” he amends with a smile. “But all I can say is that I love your brother and just couldn’t wait to make it official.”

Her eyes soften and she drops her arms from around her waist. “I guess he must feel the same if he agreed,” she replies quietly.

“You’d have to talk to him about that, but I’m guessing that you’re right.”

“Okay,” she says with a nod and a smile. “Thanks again for lettin’ me know, Jensen.”

“Of course, Ms. Padalecki.”

“Now, if I get to call you Jensen, ‘s only fair that you call me Megan,” she teases.

“Very well, Megan,” Jensen smiles and pushes himself up off the couch and heads to the door, Megan trailing behind him. He turns back to her after opening the door. “Will you be okay here by yourself?” he asks softly.

“Please,” she huffs, rolling her eyes. “I’m not a kid, despite the way my brothers treat me. And with JT workin’ all the time anyway, ‘s not like it’s the first time I’mma be alone.” Her voice turns sad and her smile drops. “I’ll be okay,” she adds quietly. “Thanks though.” Jensen just nods. To his surprise, she bounces up on her toes and presses a kiss to his cheek, throwing her arms around his shoulders in a brief hug. “Guess I’ll see ya around, since we’re gonna be family’n all, right?” she asks around a grin when she drops back down on her heels.

Jensen blinks owlishly for a moment then clears his throat, smoothing his hands down his sides. “Uh, yeah,” he mutters before turning and almost running toward the car. He settles into the back seat as the driver heads pulls away from the curb, his brain still spinning, his heart beating uncomfortably in his chest.

He doesn’t understand what he’s feeling and he doesn’t like it.

***

Since Jensen doesn’t think his presence will be welcome, he sends Danni to the hospital – amidst a lot of bitching on her part – to get Jared the next day. He would just send a car but he wants to know how Jared is and he knows Danni will tell him the truth.

She’s gone nearly an hour. As soon as Jensen hears her high heels clicking just outside his closed door, he calls out her name. She pushes open the door and comes in, tension lining her face. Jensen’s worry spikes and he stands up. “What’s wrong? Is he okay?” he snaps.

“He’s fine, Jensen,” Danni sighs and plops down in the chair across from his desk. He sits back down as well and stares at her expectantly. “Really, Jen, he’s fine,” she repeats. “Still a little tired and a lot pissed.” She pauses then shakes her head, a frown pulling down her blood-red lips. “Why’re you doin’ this?” she asks softly, sounding tired and disappointed.

Jensen frowns and leans back in his chair. “What do you mean?” he asks. “You know why.”

“No, I really don’t, Jensen.”

“The kid needs my help and I need his,” Jensen shrugs.

“That’s bullshit and we both know it,” Danni snaps. “He’s a nice guy, Jensen. And what you’re doing…” her frown deepens and she shakes her head. “It’s not right.”

“This is the perfect solution to all our problems, Danneel,” Jensen huffs, glaring at her. “You know damn-well that my parents have been on my ass to get married and settle down…”

“You could find that easily, Jensen. There’s no need to, to… manipulate that poor kid! He’s been through enough. And I know there’s got to be more to it than what you’re telling me.”

“Mind your own damn business, Danni and keep your nose outta mine!” Jensen snaps.

Her eyes widen then narrow and she pushes herself up, whole body shaking in anger. “Fine!” she grits out. “Then keep me outta your business. Don’t make me go between the two’a again. I’m done.”

She slams the door after she storms out and Jensen drops his head onto his desk, huffing out a sigh. He’ll deal with Danni and her drama tomorrow.

***

The next few months drag by.

Jensen doesn’t see Jared at all and he refuses to admit – even to himself – that he misses him and their stupid, constant arguing. Every time Jensen calls, Jared says he’s too busy to talk. Jensen doesn’t believe him. The one and only time Jared actually does talk to him is to bitch at him for telling Megan about him collapsing and being in the hospital.

He has, weirdly enough, talked to Megan several times though. He’s surprised every time she calls, even after the first couple of times, and he’s surprised to find that he enjoys chatting with her, even for just a few minutes.

He’s able to find out through her that Jared did finally quit two of his jobs – Jensen will take that for now; baby-steps are better than no steps – and is at least taking better care of himself.

Like he knew she would, his mother goes overboard planning the wedding. She seems content with the lie that he and Jared are too busy to help her and Jensen plays it up by adding that they both trust her to make sure everything is completely perfect for them.

Danneel still isn’t talking to him, despite several gifts and even a few muttered apologies. Jensen isn’t sure what to do about her. She’s never stayed mad at him this long before. He refuses to admit that he misses her too.

Despite his initial plan to continue living his life as he wants, regardless of Jared’s concerns about him being seen out and about partying, Jensen doesn’t go out at all. He throws himself into work, even more than before, staying later and later every night, not letting himself think about how he’s avoiding going home to his huge, empty house, how he’s hoping that working more and keeping busy will make the time go faster.

The morning of the wedding finally arrives and Jensen can’t keep the smug smile off his face. He can’t wait to get this over with, to have Jared in his house, by his side. He keeps telling himself that he’s just happy to have won, to be getting what he wants, refusing to admit it might even remotely be anything else.

The church is packed – he expected nothing less out of his mother – and he barely knows even half the people there. He still smiles and shakes hands with everyone, cheeks aching from keeping the façade up. Finally though, it’s time to start. Jensen stands at the front as the music starts to play softly, half-expecting Jared not to show even though he was at the rehearsal the night before and despite the binding contract.

His breath hitches in his chest when Jared steps through the doors and walks down the aisle alone, head held high. His hair is falling in soft waves around his face and he’s wearing a perfectly-fitted black tux that accentuates his long legs and lean waist and broad shoulders. He’s Goddamn gorgeous and for a few seconds, as Jared gets closer and closer, Jensen entertains the fantasy of stripping off the fine, expensive material with his teeth after all this is over.

Hazel eyes catch his and the coldness there snaps him back to reality almost painfully. He chalks up the disappointment he feels as sexual frustration – it’s been months since he got laid after all – and pastes on a big smile, eyes never leaving Jared’s.

The ceremony is short and simple – Jensen’s only contribution to the planning – and Jared’s hand is warm and a little sweaty in his, long, slender, elegant fingers trembling just barely against his palm. Jared’s eyes are downcast when they turn toward each other, his voice soft as he repeats the vows. Jensen cups his smooth cheek and tips his head up slightly, catching a glimpse of those glittering hazel depths before he brushes their lips together in a soft, chaste kiss when he’s instructed to. He barely resists deepen the kiss or reaching up to pull Jared back down to him when his new husband pulls away almost immediately.

He clamps down on the disappointment he once again – or is it still? – feels and turns with a smile to face their guests, still holding Jared’s hand, the platinum ring he just slipped onto that long finger a few moments ago cool against his palm. He’s overly aware of unfamiliar sensation of the matching ring on his own finger.

The reception is a long, nearly torturous affair. Jared stays by his side the entire time, smiling shyly and sweetly, deferring to Jensen in every interaction. He’s surprised but not really that the only people Jared invited where his brother and sister. He doesn’t know if his husband – that’s going to take some getting used to – has any other family or friends and it never really occurred to him to even ask. Jeff watches them warily all night and Jensen wonders what all Jared told him, what Jeffrey told him. He’s been back at work in his new position for months now but Jensen of course hasn’t had any interaction with him.

Jared dances to a few slow songs with his sister and it’s the only time that his smile seems real and his body relaxed. The few songs that Jensen manages to get Jared to dance with him, his husband is stiff and sullen, ignoring every attempt that Jensen makes at trying to talk to him.

They have the honeymoon suite in the hotel that the reception is held in. After several hours, Jensen deems it safe for him and Jared to make their escape, family and friends and people that Jensen doesn’t know smiling knowingly as Jensen bids them good-night, still holding firmly to Jared’s hand.

Only if what they were all thinking was true.

***

Jared sleeps on the couch.

Jensen argues that part of the contract was to share a bed. Jared points out that it was to share Jensen’s bed, not a bed at a hotel. Jensen is too damn tired to argue.

They leave the next morning for a week-long honeymoon in Paris. Jared is alternately pissy and silent, one moment arguing with Jensen, the other ignoring him completely. They go out to dinner and take tours through the museums, doing the whole touristy thing. Jared’s polite, if distant, in public, letting Jensen hold his hand but deliberately pulling away from any other contact Jensen tries to initiate.

On their fifth night in the city, Jared says he has a headache when Jensen suggests going out. Jensen leaves him at the hotel and finds a club, spends hours  drinking and dancing with pretty little twinks that barely speak English. But sex is something that transcends language barriers and Jensen knows, without a doubt, that he could fuck any of them he wants.

He doesn’t. He can’t admit to himself why.

Jared’s sitting up on the couch when he gets back to the hotel, hazel eyes full of accusation and resignation and Jensen can swear he sees disappointment. Jensen stumbles into the room and drops down on the carpet at his husband’s feet, looking up at him through blurry eyes.

“Y’know how many people I could’a fucked tonight?” he asks, slurring slightly, his accent stronger than he usually allows.

Jared huffs out a sigh and goes to push himself up off the couch, away from Jensen. He frowns and pushes Jared back down, careful not to hurt him despite his drunken state. “Believe me,” Jared mutters, not looking at him. “I don’t wanna hear about your night, Mr. Ackles.”

Jensen leans up and into Jared just slightly, stomach twisting when Jared leans away from him, his eyes wide. “Too bad, Mr. Ackles,” Jensen sneers. “’cause you’re gonna. I could’a… There were so many pretty little boys that would’a been thrilled to have me.” He slides his hands up Jared’s thighs, barely biting back a groan when he feels the thick muscles twitch beneath his touch. He wants to feel those muscles move and shift against his palms, his hips as Jared wraps those long legs around his waist, wants to lick and kiss and bite all that tempting, soft, tan skin. Jared’s trembling slightly, eyes even wider and Jensen pushes away, aware that Jared is afraid of him. The thought is slightly sobering. He pushes himself up completely, swaying just slightly. “Don’t worry though, darlin’,” Jensen mutters, reaching out one hand, just barely brushing against that soft curtain of chestnut-colored hair. “The sanctity of our marriage is intact.”

Jared blinks and looks up at him, brows furrowed slightly. “What’re you…” he trails off, frowning slightly.

“Didn’t fuck anyone, sweetheart,” Jensen murmurs and stumbles toward the bed. He flops down, still fully dressed, and is asleep before his head hits the pillow.

He wakes up the next morning with a horrible hangover. He’s been stripped down to his boxer briefs and is somehow under the covers and there’s a glass of water and aspirin next to the bed. Jared’s curled up on his side on the opposite side of the bed, as far away as humanly possible on the king-sized mattress. Jensen stares at the back of his head for a moment, unsure what happened or what he feels about it.

***

Jared moves into the mansion once they return to Texas. They don’t talk about the night Jensen got drunk in Paris, of course they don’t. Doesn’t mean that Jensen doesn’t want to talk about it. He knows better than to push Jared though.

Jared sleeps in his bed every night – keeping as much distance between them as possible – and attends every function and party that Jensen has to for work or social reasons. He’s sweet and charming and shy in public, hanging off Jensen’s arm and playing the doting husband perfectly. What little he possesses is in Jensen’s house and they share meals together but it’s like living with a ghost. Jared doesn’t really talk to him, only speaking if Jensen asks him something directly. He can see the spirited, feisty young man he met nearly six months ago disappearing before his very eyes.

The only time he sees any sign of life from his husband is when Megan comes to visit. She’s getting the medical help she needs and Jensen can already see such a difference in her. She’s stronger, even as her brother weakens.

Jensen doesn’t know what the hell to do.

Six months after they married, Jared quits the last of his jobs. He doesn’t give an explanation, even when Jensen – and even Megan – asks. Jared spends the next six months barely leaving the house, retreating even more into himself. He even sees Megan less.

Jensen is at a loss, unsure what the hell to do. He’s worried about Jared, feeling things he never thought himself even capable of feeling. He knows that he somehow went and developed feelings for Jared despite not even realizing it was happening.

In a last ditch effort to help his husband, he gathers information about schools around the area, even ones outside Texas, that a simple phone call could get Jared enrolled in. Jensen leaves them on the dining room table for Jared. He finds them in the trash the next morning.

Trying to talk to Jared again that night just pisses Jensen off and he ends up storming out of the house and finds himself at one of his favorite clubs downtown. He drinks too much and dances until he can’t breathe, can’t think, can’t feel. He leads a pretty boy into the bathroom, one with shaggy brown hair and pretty dimples, watches as he easily drops to his knees in front of Jensen.

He closes his eyes when he feels hands on his hips, clever fingers undoing his jeans. Jensen swallows back bile and opens his eyes, pushing the kid away from him and stumbles back out to his car. He doesn’t miss the flash of cameras around him but he doesn’t really give a fuck at the moment.

“Damnit!” he growls, slamming his hands against the steering wheel, eyes closing, head falling back against the headrest.

He doesn’t know what the hell he’s doing anymore.

He drives home carefully, fully aware that he shouldn’t be, but he needs to get home. To Jared. Even if Jared couldn’t care less if he’s there.

His husband is in bed when Jensen gets home. He tries to be quiet but it turns out there’s no need. Hazel eyes stare at him despite the room being mostly-dark. He crawls onto the mattress, Jared facing his side of the bed for the first time ever, and reaches out, two fingers tucking strands of that soft hair behind Jared’s ear, hand dropping to cup his neck. Jared shivers slightly at the touch, blinking slowly, his lips trembling just barely.

“I didn’t do anything,” Jensen whispers.

“Why?” Jared whispers back.

“I don’t know,” Jensen replies honestly. His hand is still curled around Jared’s neck, and he finds himself staring into those beautiful hazel eyes, his thumb brushing over the hinge of Jared’s jaw. “There was press outside,” Jensen admits softly, honestly regretful. “They saw me leavin’. It’s gonna look like something it isn’t.”

“Mr…” Jared closes his eyes for a second, swallows thickly, then reopens them, “Jensen,” he amends softly. “Why didn’t you do anything?” he asks, those eyes begging Jensen for something he doesn’t honestly know how to give.

“I couldn’t do that to you,” Jensen admits quietly, voice rough. He finds that he truly means it. “I… Fuck, Jared, I’ve done some shitty things before, I know that. But what I’ve done to you…” he trails off, shaking his head. The last damn thing he wanted was to break this beautiful boy’s spirit. “I’m sorry, Jared,” he whispers thickly. Jared’s breath hitches, his lips trembling, tears filling his eyes. “I’ll let you outta the contract,” he hears himself say quietly.

Jared’s eyes widen, a few tears breaking free to trickle slowly down his cheeks. Jensen doesn’t think, just reaches up and gently wipes them away with his thumb. “Jensen,” Jared whispers.

“Don’t worry ‘bout it, sweetheart,” Jensen murmurs. “Everything else will still be in effect, Megan’s health care and Jeff’s job, the money for you… all of it. I’m just lettin’ you outta this, with me.”

“Why?” Jared breathes, voice breaking over the one word.

“’cause what I did to you…” he shakes his head. “It was so wrong.”

To his surprise, Jared leans forward and brushes a soft, dry kiss to his lips. Jensen frowns in confusion. “Jared?” he whispers.

Jared licks his lips and shakes his head slightly, those eyes still pleading silently with Jensen. “I didn’t wanna like you,” Jared admits softly. “I wanted to keep hatin’ you. I didn’t wanna fall for the same bullshit lies and fake charm that everyone else did.” Jared huffs and glances away, his brow furrowed. “And I was able to, for a while. But then I saw the way you are with Meggie,” Jared’s eyes slowly raise back to his, a few more tears slipping free. “And even with me, most’a the time. You can actually be nice. And I just… I don’t know what to make of any’a it anymore.” He closes his eyes and sighs. “I just don’t know,” he breathes.

Jensen carefully leans forward and brushes a kiss to Jared’s forehead, eyes sliding closed, lips lingering for just a moment before pulling away. “Get some sleep, Jared,” Jensen urges softly, brushing his thumb over the curve of Jared’s jaw, down his neck. He pulls away completely and climbs back off the bed quietly, standing next to the side for a few moments to watch as Jared’s breathing evens out and he falls asleep. He sighs to himself and leaves the room, heads down the hallway to one of the rarely-used guest rooms.

He doesn’t get much sleep and is up and at work before dawn. He gave Jared his freedom last night but he can’t be there to watch him take it.

***

From the moment Danneel storms into the office and glares at him, Jensen knows that his exploits from the night before made the morning edition of at least one newspaper. His phone starts ringing the second that she slams the door behind her. She raises one delicate, perfectly sculpted eyebrow and crosses her arms over her chest.

“You stepped in the shit, Jensen,” she snaps. “I’m not cleanin’ it up.”

She stands there and watches as Jensen fields calls from his mother and Jeffrey, stammering through weak excuses and promises to call later, to try to fix it somehow.

He hangs up and runs one hand down over his face, exhaling loudly. When he looks back up, Danni is still standing there and whatever she sees on his face leaves her frowning, arms falling down by her sides. “Jen?” she asks softly.

“You were right, Dee,” Jensen sighs, leaning back in his chair. She crosses the room and plops down on the corner of his desk, head tilted to the side as she waits for him to continue. “I fucked up big time with… everything.”

Anger returns to her eyes and she shakes her head. “So it takes humiliating that poor boy, getting caught with your pants down…”

“I didn’t do anything,” Jensen cuts her off softly. She quirks an eyebrow. “Really, I didn’t. Yes, I went out. Yes, I got drunk and danced with a bunch of pretty boys. Even took one into the bathroom with me. But I… Fuck, I couldn’t fuckin’ do it. So I went home.” He pauses, huffs a sigh. “Told Jared that I’d let him outta the marriage without any issues.”

“You… You what?” she breathes, her eyes wide.

“Yeah,” he sighs, rubbing one hand tiredly over his face again. “Technically, you could say I was in breach of the contract, so I told him… I gave him the out.”

“Oh, Jensen,” Danni whispers, shaking her head sadly. She slides off the desk and climbs into his lap, her arms around his shoulders. They haven’t done this – or hugged, hell, haven’t even really touched – since college. She rubs one hand over the back of his head and squeezes him tightly, lips pressed to his temple.

He leans against her slight frame, wraps his arms around her waist. “I know why I never did this whole caring about someone thing before,” Jensen mutters. “It sucks.”

Danni chuckles sadly and nods. “It can,” she agrees. “But I think it’s a bit more than just caring about him, isn’t it?”

“Doesn’t matter,” Jensen replies quietly. “It’s over. He’s got everything he’ll ever need, especially his freedom.”

“What about you?” Danni asks softly, scratching her nails along his scalp. Jensen leans his head against her shoulder, taking just another moment to be weak, to let himself be comforted.

“Doesn’t matter,” he repeats eventually, pulling away.

Danneel sighs and slides off his lap, knowing that the moment is over. “What’re you gonna do?” she asks, leaning back against the desk.

“I honestly don’t know,” he replies, shrugging one shoulder. “Won’t be hard to spin the whole thing into being my fault. Everyone knows I’m an asshole and I doubt it’ll surprise anyone that I cheated on my husband.”

“But you didn’t,” Danni argues.

“Doesn’t matter,” Jensen repeats again. Because it doesn’t. “Jared’ll be free and his sister will still be taken care of, along with all their bills and expenses. The accounts will remain open and fully funded. They’ll both be taken care of and I’ll just be the asshole that everyone already knows I am.”

“Jensen,” she sighs, shaking her head.

“Come on, Dee,” Jensen smirks at her. “I’d think you’d be all for this. You didn’t want me doin’ it in the first place.”

“Well, no, I didn’t,” Danni concedes with a nod. “But that was then and I don’t… Fuck, Jen, it isn’t right. For once, you didn’t do anything. You’re actually being a good guy and you’re gonna take the fall.”

“Better me than him,” Jensen replies quietly.

Danneel sighs, her shoulders slumping. “Okay,” she whispers. “I’ll, uh, I’ll go call Jeffrey back, tell him what’s going on. Have him draw up the papers, I guess.”

“Yeah, that’s… that’s good. Thanks, Dan.”

She closes the door softly behind her – the first time she hasn’t slammed it in over a year. It’s the first time Jensen flinches though.

***

Somehow Jensen avoids having to talk to his mother again through the day. He’s not sure if Danni is running interference but he’s just thankful he doesn’t have to deal with it either way. Jeffrey drops off the divorce papers, frowning as he stands in front of Jensen’s desk, staring down at him like a disapproving parent.

“You sure about this, kid?” he asks. He’s worked for the Ackles for years and is the only other person that would dare question a direct order from Jensen besides Danneel.

“Yeah, I am,” Jensen replies shortly, not wanting to go through all this again with him. Once with Danneel was more than enough.

But why would life start being kind to Jensen now?

“Maybe you should try talkin’ to the kid before you do anything drastic.” Jensen glances up and raises an eyebrow. “Okay. Anything else drastic,” Jeffrey amends.

“There’s nothing to talk about, Jeff,” Jensen sighs.

“Well, I happen to think you being in love with him is something that should be discussed,” Jeffrey states, shrugging one shoulder. Leave it to him to just spit it out like that.

Jensen flinches at the word, even though he can’t deny – not anymore – that it’s the truth.

He slumps back in his chair and shakes his head. “After what I’ve put him through, the best thing I can do for him is to just let him go.”

“Alright,” Jeffrey huffs. “I think you’re being an idiot but that’s not exactly anything new.”

Jensen’s able to hide out at work until almost nine. He would’ve stayed all night but Danneel comes back and pretty much manhandles him out of his office and into the elevator, shoving him toward his car while cursing at him the entire time.

Jensen doesn’t want to go home. But the only other options are his parents’ place, Danneel’s or going out to a club – and that is the last thing he needs – which are all equally horrible ideas so Jensen gives up and drives to his house. He’s going to have to get used to not having Jared around sooner or later, might as well go ahead and start now.

There’s a light on in the living room when Jensen pulls up. Maybe Jared forgot to turn it off before he left.

Jensen grabs the divorce papers and forces himself out of the car. He’ll sign them tonight and drop them off at Jared’s lawyer’s office in the morning and then it’ll all be said and done.

Jensen stops just inside the living room, blinking owlishly, barely breathing. Jared is sitting on the couch, staring up at him, hazel eyes wide. “What’re you doin’ here?” Jensen asks softly.

Jared licks his lips and shakes his head. “I live here?” he whispers, half-question, half-statement.

Jensen’s shoulders slump and he drops the papers on the table. Jared’s gaze flickers down to them then back up to Jensen’s face, brow furrowed. “I told you last night, Jared, you’re free. I breached the contract…”

“You said you didn’t do anything,” Jared interrupts quietly, eyes starting to shimmer in the low light of the room.

“I didn’t,” Jensen murmurs. For some reason, lying just to make this easier never crossed his mind. “Jared, I swear…”

“I believe you,” Jared cuts him off again, flashing Jensen a soft smile when Jensen raises an eyebrow. “I do,” he adds, huffing out a sigh. It’s the first sign of the old Jared he’s seen since they got married. “So, if you didn’t do anything, then you didn’t breach the contract…” Jared trails off, shrugging one shoulder.

“Jared,” Jensen sighs, crossing the room to sit on the couch next to him. “I’m giving you the out here. Just take it.”

“Is that what you want?” Jared asks softly.

“I wanna do the right thing,” Jensen replies. “For… probably the first time ever, I wanna do something right. After what I did…” Jensen trails off, shaking his head. “What I want, it doesn’t matter.”

To Jensen’s surprise, Jared huffs out a sharp, humorless laugh as he pushes himself up off the couch, pacing in front of it. “Unbelievable,” he mutters, shaking his head.

“Jared?” Jensen asks carefully.

Jared stops pacing and stands right in front of him, hands clenched at his sides, eyes blazing with that fire, that intensity, that he had when Jensen first met him. He’s fucking beautiful in his fury and Jensen barely resists reaching out and pulling him into his arms so he can kiss that angry frown off those wide, tempting lips. “You force me to marry you and now… Now you’re tryin’ to force me to divorce you!” Jared half-shouts. “What the hell, Jensen?!”

“You called me Jensen,” he hears himself mutter. He thinks he remembers Jared calling him Jensen a few times the night before but he was drunk enough that he can’t be sure it wasn’t just his imagination.

“That’s what you focus on?” Jared asks incredulously.

“Well, I mean… Yeah, I guess. It’s been over a freakin’ year, Jared…”

“You’re missin’ the damn point,” Jared huffs, crossing his arms over his chest.

“I’m sorry,” Jensen sighs.

Jared’s arms drop and his shoulders slump. “Do you really not get it?” he asks softly. Jensen shakes his head. “I know you think you’re doin’ the right there here, Jensen,” he starts softly and for a second, Jensen is stuck on hearing Jared say his name, again, and almost misses the rest of what he’s saying, “and I… I appreciate it, okay? I do. But it’s the same shit. You’re still tellin’ me what to do.”

“I’m trying to give you what you want,” Jensen murmur.

“For once, try actually askin’ me,” Jared replies, shrugging one shoulder.

Jensen inhales deeply, exhales slowly, and nods. “Okay,” he whispers. “What, uh, what do you want?”

Jared smiles and rolls his eyes, shaking his head. “Did that hurt?” he teases. “Ya need a minute?”

Jensen snorts out a laugh. “Smartass,” he mutters, rubbing one hand over the back of his neck.

Seems Jared is just full of fucking surprises tonight. He flops down onto the table in front of the couch, ass landing right on the divorce papers, and leans forward, elbows on his thighs. He’s still smiling but it’s softer, sweeter, showing off just a hint of those dimples. “You’re really kind of an idiot, aren’t’cha?” Jared asks softly, his tone teasing and almost fond. “And really kinda bad at this.”

Jensen would take offense if Jared wasn’t completely right.

Jared reaches out one hand and cups Jensen’s cheek, leaning forward to brush their lips together in a sweet, chaste kiss. Jensen tilts his head to the side, into the press of Jared’s soft, warm hand. Jared’s smile widens, his dimples digging in deeper. “Get it now?” he asks softly.

“Not really,” Jensen admits.

Jared rolls his eyes and huffs. “It isn’t really that hard to figure out, Jensen,” Jared sighs.

“We’ve already established that I’m an idiot that’s bad at this kinda stuff. Can you just spell it out for me?” Jensen asks hopefully.

“I don’t want a divorce,” Jared states simply, slowly. “I don’t wanna move out.”

“Why?” Jensen blurts out.

“Honestly? I don’t even know,” Jared shakes his head, shrugging a shoulder. “I mean, I should hate you, I should take the chance and run. But I… I don’t know, Jensen.” Jared pauses, glancing away, dropping his hand back to his lap. “We have an arrangement…”

“Jared,” Jensen cuts him off gently, reaching up and sliding his hand over Jared’s cheek. Jared’s gaze flickers briefly to him before looking away again. “Forget the damn contract,” Jensen says softly. “I know that’s not the reason.” Jensen inhales deeply, exhales slowly, his hand sliding back, fingers sinking into the soft curtain of Jared’s hair. He can understand why Jared isn’t willing to lay himself on the line, especially considering Jensen hasn’t given him a real reason to. “You asked if I wanted you to leave,” Jensen murmurs, brushing his thumb over the arch of Jared’s high cheekbone. “Honestly, no, I don’t want you to leave. I really was trying to do the right thing by you for once.” He pauses, leaning closer, his forehead resting against Jared’s temple. “’cause I’ve fallen in love with you,” he adds, barely above a whisper.

Jared’s breath hitches and he pulls his head back enough to look Jensen in the eyes. He doesn’t try to hide or mask his emotions, just lets Jared see whatever he’s feeling, hoping like hell that his husband finds what he’s looking for. “Jensen,” he breathes, blinking owlishly.

The shine of tears in those hazel depths concerns Jensen and he sighs, his shoulders slumping. “’m sorry,” he mutters. “I know that’s probably the last damn thing you wanna hear, especially from me but I can’t…” He frowns, closing his lips when Jared lays one large, warm hand over his mouth.

“Stop talking,” Jared smiles, shaking his head fondly. “Damnit, Jensen, for once, just stop talking, okay? Just… Fuck, just gimme a minute. I-I never thought I’d hear you say that.”

Jensen presses a kiss to Jared’s palm, chuckling quietly when Jared rolls his eyes and drops his hand. “It’s true,” Jensen murmurs.

Jared licks his lips, bites down on the bottom one. Jensen barely bites back a groan. “What’s true?” he asks quietly, eyes sparkling with unshed tears and a bit a mischief and a lot of uncertainty.

Jensen reaches up and grabs the other side of his face, stares into those beautiful, emotion-filled eyes. “I love you,” he states, soft but firm.

Jared’s smile flickers on and off, a few tears breaking free to trickle down his cheeks as he nods his head, even though Jensen’s still holding both sides of his face. Jensen gently wipes away the wet trails with his thumbs. Jared leans into the touch, sighing softly, his eyes fluttering closed. Jensen tips his head up and brushes a kiss to Jared’s forehead.

Jared makes the most adorable little noise in the back of his throat and tilts his head, sliding their lips together. He nips at Jensen’s bottom lip, pushing closer, opening his own lips just barely. Jensen closes his eyes and lets his tongue flicker out, just lightly brushing against Jared’s bottom lip in response. Jared makes another noise and scoots closer on the table, his hands coming up, fingers curling around Jensen’s wrists. The kiss naturally, slowly deepens and Jensen can’t bite back a low moan when his tongue slides against Jared’s.

He loses track of how long the kiss lasts, both of them pulling away only to come back together, each kiss getting more intense, wet and heated, even a little desperate. Jared surprises Jensen again by awkwardly crawling into his lap, not breaking the kiss as he settles against Jensen’s thighs, long legs on either sides of his hips.

Jensen groans and drops one hand to Jared’s lean waist, his other hand sliding back into his hair, fingers curling around those silky-soft strands. Jared’s arms slide around his shoulders, pushing closer, their chests pressing together. He breaks the kiss with a gasp, his chest heaving a bit, lips kiss-bruised, a flush of arousal staining his high cheekbones. Jensen can’t look away. He’s so freaking beautiful.

“Jensen,” Jared breathes, leaning heavily against his chest.

Jensen slips his arm around Jared’s waist, holding him close, smiling when Jared drops his head to rest on his shoulder, face buried in the curve of his neck. “Can I just say that I really, really like hearing you say my name?” Jensen murmurs, turning his head enough to drop a kiss on Jared’s temple.

Jared chuckles softly and nuzzles under his jaw. “Well, you are my husband,” Jared replies softly. Heat sings through Jensen’s entire body. He never thought that hearing Jared say that would be so freaking hot. “Figured it’d be kinda weird to still call you Mr. Ackles.” Soft, wet lips brush against Jensen’s neck, right over his pulse. Jensen inhales sharply, fingers tightening slightly in Jared’s hair.

He can fully admit that he loves having Jared in his arms – finally – and is more than enjoying his weight pressing against his chest but he’s already half-hard and if Jared doesn’t move soon, it’s going to be more than obvious. “You gonna stay there all night?” Jensen asks after a few moments of silence.

“Might,” Jared answers easily. “You’re surprisingly comfy.”

“C’mon, sweetheart,” Jensen murmurs, gently patting his hip.

Jared pulls back, flashing him an adorable little pout. “You want me to move?” he asks softly, eyes big and round.

“It, uh, it’s not that I want you to,” Jensen mutters. “It’s just that…” he trails off, unsure how to continue. Jared tilts his head to the side, waiting patiently for Jensen to continue. “It’s been over a year since anyone has touched me, Jared,” Jensen eventually adds, pointedly glancing down between them.

Jared’s brow furrows, eyes narrowing slightly before widening again, the flush across his cheeks deepening. Understanding fills his eyes but to Jensen’s surprise, he doesn’t move. He bites down on his bottom lip, chewing on the already slightly swollen flesh. Jensen forces a smile and lets his hand slide out of Jared’s hair, rubbing up and down his back.

For a long few moments, neither of them move or say anything else. Then Jared leans forward, kissing Jensen again, instantly pushing to deepen it. He shifts just slightly, his perfect little ass pressing down, and Jensen’s cock can’t help but take notice, twitching eagerly and hardening even more.

“Jared,” Jensen murmurs into the kiss. “Seriously, darlin’. You gotta move. Please?”

Jared, little shit that he is, rolls his hips. “Move like that?” he asks softly.

Jensen is pretty much completely hard and there’s no way in hell that Jared can’t feel it. Inhaling deeply, he pulls away from the kiss and grabs Jared’s hips, stilling the barely-there movement. “Not really what I meant,” Jensen mutters.

“Is this another one of those things that you’re gonna be an idiot about?” Jared asks, sitting back on Jensen’s thighs, crossing his arms over his chest, glaring at Jensen.

“I don’t… We haven’t talked about this,” Jensen huffs, shaking his head. “Hell, Jared, we haven’t really talked about anything other than you don’t wanna leave and the fact that I love you.”

Jared’s eyes soften and he smiles shyly. “I like hearin’ you say that about as much as you like hearin’ me say your name,” he whispers.

Jensen smiles back, hands curling around Jared’s hips and squeezing gently. “I’ll remember that, sweetheart,” Jensen murmurs. “But that doesn’t really change the fact that we haven’t talked.”

“What’s there to talk about, Jensen?” Jared asks. “We’re married. We’ve been married for a year. And I know you’re not a blushing virgin. What’s the problem?”

“Have you even ever been with a guy?” Jensen asks quietly. With Danni pissed at him, he wasn’t able to get her to dig any deeper into Jared’s past and Jensen couldn’t find anything out himself. It isn’t like he really wants to know but it’s something that he kind of needs to know.

Jared’s cheeks flush and his eyes drop for a moment. And really, that’s all the answer Jensen needs. “I, uh, I’ve done some stuff,” Jared mutters, glancing at Jensen through his lashes.

“Jared, sweetheart,” Jensen sighs, shaking his head.

Even though he wanted Jared to move, he’s disappointed when he actually does. His husband crawls off his lap and settles on the couch next to him, long legs curled up against his chest, arms around his knees. Jensen wraps his arm around Jared’s shoulders and pulls Jared against his side, pressing a kiss to his temple. “I never told anyone that I’m bi. Or gay. I don’t even know,” Jared admits softly, barely above a whisper. “My… My parents,” he sighs and leans more into Jensen, his head on Jensen’s shoulder. “They weren’t bad people but they were just kinda… I don’t know, old-fashioned or whatever. But they didn’t… I know they wouldn’t have accepted it.”

“I’m sorry, baby,” Jensen murmurs, squeezing his arm around Jared’s shoulders.

“The only one who ever figured it out was Sandy,” Jared continues after a moment. “My ex. I don’t know how she figured it out but she did. She asked me about it and I couldn’t deny it, not to her. We split up…”

“She broke up with you because you’re not sure about your sexuality?” Jensen asks incredulously.

“No,” Jared frowns, shaking his head. “She was too sweet for anything like that. But the more we talked… She thinks that I’m gay,” Jared whispers. He turns a bit into Jensen’s side, fingers twisting around Jensen’s tie. “I mean, she was the only person I’d ever been with,” Jared mutters, cheeks flushing darker. He glances up at Jensen, eyes big and pleading. “I know that I like guys, I’ve always found guys attractive. But I was with her, y’know?”

“I was with a few girls in high school,” Jensen admits, sinking his hand into Jared’s hair, brushing a kiss to his temple. “And I can say I’m completely, one-hundred-percent gay. I didn’t really figure things out ‘til college.” He nuzzles his nose through Jared’s hair, his eyes closed. “Have you really done ‘stuff’?” Jensen asks softly.

“A guy kissed me at a party my freshman year of college,” Jared mumbles. “We, uh, we ended up jerking each other off.” Jared turns his head and buries his face in the crook of Jensen’s shoulder. “But that’s all.”

“I don’t wanna rush you into anything, sweetheart,” Jensen murmurs. “We’re just now workin’ things out.”

Jared pulls his head back and looks up at Jensen. “A year, Jensen,” Jared points out. “Just because it took me time to actually fall in love with you and realize that you’re not a complete ass, that doesn’t mean that I’m blind and missed the fact that you’re hot and I’m attracted to you. In fact, that’s part of the reason that I was so angry with you in the first place.”

Jensen hears everything Jared’s saying, he really does, but all he can focus on is the fact that Jared loves him. “Wait,” Jensen breathes. “You love me?” Jared chews on his bottom lip and nods. “Jared,” Jensen murmurs, using the hold on Jared’s hair to pull him into a kiss, instantly pushing to deepen it.

Jared moans softly, kissing him back eagerly. He pulls back after a few moments, blinking owlishly. “Jensen,” he whispers.

“Say it again,” Jensen half-commands, half-begs.

Jared smiles shyly and dips his head a little. “I love you,” he says softly.

“I love you, too,” Jensen smiles, dipping down for another kiss.

Jared settles completely against his side once the kiss ends, legs still bent up against his chest but he slides one arm over Jensen’s stomach. “Okay, so now that we have all that cleared up,” Jared eventually says, head resting on Jensen’s shoulder so he can look up at him. “Can we get back to the point?”

“The point?” Jensen asks.

“Sex,” Jared states simply.

“I just think we should take things slow,” Jensen murmurs, idly playing with the long strands of Jared’s hair, twisting the wavy mess around his fingers.

“A year,” Jared repeats. He flashes Jensen the most deadly puppy eyes Jensen’s ever seen. “Don’t you wanna?” he whispers.

“God, Jared,” Jensen breathes. “Of course, baby. Since the day I met you I wanted to bend you over the nearest surface,” he slides his free hand up Jared’s thigh, his stomach twisting when the muscle flexes, “or feel these long legs wrapped around my waist…” Jared’s eyes drop to Jensen’s lips and he licks his own, biting down on the bottom one. “But I’m tryin’ to do the right thing. Again.”

“Thought we decided you were gonna ask me from now on,” Jared points out.

Jensen huffs out a chuckle and leans forward, nuzzling against Jared’s jaw. “Okay,” he breathes. He can tell that he’s going to have to learn to pick his battles with Jared. “What d’you want, sweetheart?”

Jared pulls his head back enough to look right into Jensen’s eyes. “Wanna go upstairs,” Jared replies quietly, fingers tugging at Jensen’s tie again. “Get you outta this suit.”

Jensen nods, pulling Jared into another quick, dirty kiss. “Okay,” he murmurs against his husband’s lips.

As he stands up, pulling Jared up with him, Jensen notices the divorce papers still laying on the table, wrinkled from where Jared was sitting on them, and he smiles, pulling Jared into his arms, walking him backward toward the steps.

***

Once inside their bedroom, Jensen pulls Jared back into his arms, hands pushing up under his t-shirt, biting down on his bottom lip at the feel of all that warm, soft skin. Long, slender fingers slide under his suit jacket, pushing at the expensive material. Jensen reluctantly lets go of Jared long enough to let his husband push it all the way off, leaving it puddled on the floor at Jensen’s feet. Those fingers attack his tie next, Jared leaning forward to brush a kiss to the corner of his lips.

Jensen slides one hand into Jared’s hair – he can’t help it, he’s been thinking about sinking his fingers into those silky-soft waves for months – and turns into the kiss, their lips sliding together fully. “Are you sure, baby?” Jensen asks softly, the words smeared against Jared’s lips.

“Yes,” Jared whispers back, nuzzling against the side of Jensen’s face, his warm, moist breath against Jensen’s ear making him shiver. “I’m sure, Jen.”

“Jay,” he groans, the hand not in Jared’s hair once again slipping beneath his t-shirt, pressing against the sweat-slick small of his back, pressing Jared impossibly closer. His cock is fully hard again – the conversation downstairs had cooled things off considerably – and he can’t stop himself from rocking his hips forward.

Jared gasps, fingers grabbing his shoulders. Jared’s whole body is trembling but Jensen can feel the hard line of Jared’s cock pressing against his own and he rolls his hips again. Jared moans softly and drops his head, mouthing wetly at the hinge of Jensen’s jaw, Jensen’s tie still clenched tight in one hand.

“C’mon, sweetheart,” Jensen urges softly, walking him backward toward the bed. Jared’s really not paying any attention, too busy licking, kissing and biting his way down Jensen’s neck, fingers pulling at the buttons of Jensen’s shirt, his focus obviously on nothing but getting to more skin. The sensation is amazing and Jensen doesn’t ever want Jared to stop touching him, to stop kissing him, every small movement spending sparks down Jensen’s entire body, but they need to move this along before Jensen ends up humping Jared’s leg and coming in his pants like a teenager. “Jared,” Jensen murmurs, sliding his hand around to grip Jared’s lean waist, thumb brushing over the sharp jut of hipbone peeking out beneath the top of his low-slung jeans.

Jared makes a soft noise in the back of his throat but doesn’t stop. He’s got Jensen’s shirt mostly unbuttoned and is pulling at the neck of his undershirt, licking and sucking at Jensen’s collarbone. Jensen reaches down with his other hand and grips the hem of Jared’s t-shirt, tugging the material up. Jared pulls away just long enough for Jensen to pull it over his head, leaving his hair a mess of sweat-damp waves. He drops Jared’s shirt and grabs his hips, groaning softly when Jared moves over slightly, mouthing his way up Jensen neck, over his Adam’s apple, not stopping until he’s kissing Jensen again, instantly dipping his tongue between Jensen’s lips.

Jensen uses one hand to finish unbuttoning his shirt and shrugs it off his shoulders then gently pries his tie away from where Jared’s still got it clenched in one hand. He slides his hand into Jared’s hair, gently pulling him away, both of them panting by the time the kiss ends. Jared’s eyes are dark and heavy-lidded, cheeks flushed and a fine sheen of sweat breaking out across all the soft, tan skin he can see. Jared licks his kiss-bruised lips and leans back in, obviously angling for another kiss.

“Baby, wait,” Jensen murmurs.

Jared stops, brow furrowed as he blinks slowly. “What’s wrong?” he asks softly.

“Nothing,” Jensen rushes to assure him, rubbing his hand up and down Jared’s side. He flashes Jared a smile then takes the chance to quickly pull his undershirt off. Jared’s gaze slowly drops to his chest then moves back to his eyes, his lips parting slightly. “Lemme get your jeans off, okay?” Jensen asks quietly, tugging on Jared’s belt, shaking him a bit. Jared smiles and dips his head in a nod, biting his bottom lip as Jensen works on undoing his belt then his jeans, their eyes locked together the whole time.

He pushes the soft, worn denim down those lean hips, letting the material fall down Jared’s long legs. He steadies Jared’s hips when he steps out of them, kicking them to the side. Jensen finally tears his eyes away from those mesmerizing hazel depths, gaze moving down Jared’s body, his cock twitching almost painfully at the sight of his beautiful husband standing in his arms in nothing but a pair of tight, white boxer briefs, his long, thick cock tenting the soft cotton.

“God, Jared,” Jensen breathes. “You… You’re fuckin’ beautiful, sweetheart.” Jared’s cheeks flush darker and he drops his head, hair falling in front of his face like a curtain. Jensen reaches up and pushes his hair back, fingers sinking into the strands and gently tips Jared’s head back up. “I mean it,” Jensen insists softly.

“Shut up,” Jared huffs, lightly smacking his shoulder, rolling his eyes, but there’s a small smile curling up his lips. Jensen chuckles softly and leans forward, brushing a kiss to the corner of Jared’s lips.

Jared drops his hands and undoes Jensen’s slacks, stepping closer, their chests pressing together as he pushes them down Jensen’s hips. He drops his head to Jensen’s shoulder, face once again buried in Jensen’s neck. Jensen palms the back of his head, presses a kiss to his temple. “You okay, Jay?” he asks quietly.

“Yeah,” Jared breathes.

“You sure?”

“Yeah,” Jared repeats. “Just… Nervous, I guess.”

“We don’t have to do anything, darlin’,” Jensen murmurs.

“No, it’s not… I wanna, Jensen,” Jared replies, pulling his head back enough to look up at Jensen. “Still a little nervous though,” he adds, shrugging one shoulder, flashing Jensen a small smile.

“It’ll be okay. I’ll take care of you.”

“I know,” Jared whispers, his smile widening just a bit. He brushes another kiss to Jensen’s lips before pulling away completely, glancing at Jensen over his shoulder as he crawls onto the mattress. He settles down on his side and looks back at Jensen again. “You gonna just stand there?”

As soon as Jensen settles on the mattress next to him, Jared scoots closer, tangling their legs together. Jensen slides his arm around Jared’s waist, hand pressing against the small of his back. For a long few moments they just lie there, staring at one another until Jared huffs softly and leans in for a kiss. To Jensen’s surprise, he keeps it mostly brief and chaste, pulling back and looking at Jensen expectantly. “Do something, Jensen,” Jared damn-near whispers.

“What’d’ya want me to do?” Jensen asks, sliding his hand up Jared’s spine.

“Something, anything. You… You know I’ve never done this, Jen. Kinda gonna need you to take the lead.”

“Okay,” Jensen murmurs. “Sorry, baby.” He scoots away from Jared and grabs his hip, gently urging him to settle on his back in the middle of the bed. He dips down and kisses Jared, slow and deep. Jared’s panting a little when Jensen pulls back, his chest heaving. “You trust me?” Jensen asks softly.

“Yes,” Jared answers easily. “I trust you. I love you.”

“I love you, too,” Jensen replies, warmth curling in his stomach when Jared smiles brightly at him. Fuck but his husband has turned him into such a freaking sap. But honestly, to keep Jared smiling at him like that, Jensen doesn’t really fucking care. “Anytime you wanna stop or don’t like something, you just gotta tell me, okay?” Jared nods and squirms around a little, staring up at Jensen again with that expectant look once he’s settled again.

Jensen kneels next to Jared and grabs his waistband of his boxer briefs, Jared automatically raising his hips to let Jensen pull them down and off. He tosses them blindly over his shoulder, unable to look away from the sight of Jared laid out before him, completely naked and hard. Jensen has been with more than his fair share of pretty boys but Jared is in a class all by himself. The play of tan skin over rippling muscles, the sheen of sweat and the almost lost, innocent yet needy look in his eyes makes Jensen a little crazy, makes him want to touch and taste and mark every inch of the gorgeous body spread before him. Knowing that he can – finally – is a heady feeling.

He slides one hand down Jared’s chest, over his hip, leans down to kiss and nip at Jared’s throat. Jared presses his head back against the pillow, arching the long, beautiful line of his neck and Jensen groans, scraping his teeth over Jared’s thundering pulse, pleased when he gets an answering moan from his husband. He trails his lips and teeth down Jared’s shoulder to his chest, biting at the jut of his collarbones before slipping down further, teasing at first one nipple then the other, leaving them pulled taut. Jared arches and writhes beneath him, pushing into every touch, mewling and moaning every time Jensen hits a good spot. He’s never had a more responsive, expressive lover and they’ve barely gotten started. He can’t wait to see the kind of noises he can coax from the mesmerizing man beneath him.

He moves down Jared’s chest and stomach, hands and mouth moving over the perfect cut of muscle, tongue dragging over every ridge of his six-packs abs. Jared’s trembling, his cock long and thick and curling up toward his stomach, jerking and twitching, leaving behind smears of pre-come. Jensen bypasses the straining length for the moment, veering off to the side to bite at the sharp cut of Jared’s hipbone, sucking the stretched-taut, thin skin into his mouth, leaving behind one hell of a bruise. Jared moans harshly and arches his back again, hips squirming. Jensen licks and nips his way across his groin, sucking and biting a matching bruise on that hip as well. Jared’s fingers curl into fists in the sheets and Jensen glances up the long line of his body, surprised to see Jared staring back down at him, lips parted and bitten-red, eyes so dark he can barely make out any color.

He presses a kiss to Jared’s hip then scoots down the bed, shifting over so he’s kneeling between Jared’s slightly spread legs. He slides his hands up the inside of Jared’s thighs, his own cock twitching at the feel of that baby-soft skin, the flex of muscle as Jared slides his legs open wider, biting his bottom lip as he silently watches Jensen.

Jensen smiles and dips down, mouthing wetly at Jared’s balls. Jared cries out, fingers flexing in the sheets at his sides. Jensen smirks to himself and laves over the seam, following it all the way up the long length of Jared’s cock, teasing the thick vein and the sensitive nerves right below the head. “Jensen,” Jared moans softly and Jensen’s eyes flick back up to him, catching and holding as he slides his lips over the head, tip of his tongue teasing the slit before pulling just the tip inside his mouth. He’s rewarded with a fresh burst of tangy pre-come and just that small taste leaves him damn-near ravenous for more. He hollows his cheeks and sucks hard, groaning when he gets another taste.

Keeping Jared steady with one hand on his hip, Jensen grips the base with the other hand and slides more of Jared into his mouth, enjoying the silky skin on his tongue, the wide girth stretching his lips. He’s not usually too fond of giving head but he can tell that Jared will be the exception. The taste, the sensation, Jared’s reaction, all spur him on and he sets a steady rhythm, bobbing his head, taking him as far as he can then pulling back to suck just on the tip.

Long fingers scramble against his shoulder and he glances up at Jared through his lashes. His husband looks panicked and he’s pushing slightly at him. “Stop,” Jared begs breathlessly. “Please, Jen, stop.”

Jensen pulls away immediately and leans over Jared, one hand coming up to cup his cheek. “You okay?” Jensen rasps.

“Just… Too close,” Jared admits softly, sheepishly.

Jensen smiles, relief coursing through his entire body. He dips down and presses a kiss to Jared’s lips. “That’s okay, y’know,” he murmurs.

“Don’t want it to be over so soon,” Jared whispers.

“Can always get you hard again, sweetheart,” Jensen draws, kissing over Jared’s cheek to his ear, teeth scraping the lobe. “Make you come now then keep playin’ with you. Get you hard and make you come again.”

“Fuck,” Jared breathes, fingers curling around Jensen’s biceps, blinking up at him owlishly.

“What’d’ya think, Jay?” Jensen continues, dropping his hips and grinding down, rubbing his cock against Jared’s through the barrier of his boxer briefs. Jared mewls and rocks up against him, fingers tightening on Jensen’s arms. “Think that’s too much for our first night together or you want me to do it?”

“Jensen, please,” Jared moans, his cock twitching against Jensen’s.

“Please what, baby?” Jensen asks softly. “Give you anything you want, just gotta tell me what it is.”

“Make me come?” Jared whispers.

Jensen dips down and slams their lips together. Jared moans again and throws his arms around Jensen’s shoulders, the kiss quickly turning wet and messy, desperate, almost brutal. Jensen pulls away, forcing himself to ignore Jared’s soft whine of protest and squirms back down the long length of his husband’s body, swallowing his cock without preamble. He sucks him hard and fast, one hand dropping down to tease at the heavy swell of his balls. He may not particularly enjoy sucking cock usually but he’s still good at it and knows how to push Jared over the edge quickly.

“Jensen,” Jared cries out, back arching, cock twitching against Jensen’s tongue as he comes. Jensen swallows each slightly bitter pulse, gentling his lips and tongue as he works Jared through it, only pulling away when Jared starts to soften and he whines quietly.

He settles on his side next to Jared, reaching up to push the sweat-damp hair away from his face, smiling when those hazel eyes blink up at him, a small, sated grin curling up Jared’s lips. Jared slides one arm around Jensen’s waist and tugs him closer, right up against Jared’s side and he tilts his chin up. Jensen dips down and kisses him, slow and sweet, letting Jared taste himself on Jensen’s tongue.

“Mmm,” Jared hums happily, wiggling impossibly closer. “That was amazing. Thank you.”

“Don’t have to thank me for making you feel good, sweetheart,” Jensen murmurs. “Love makin’ you feel good.”

Jared cuddles against his chest and tucks his head under Jensen’s chin. He’s only still and quiet for a few moments though before Jensen fells a soft, tentative touch to his stomach, the muscles quivering at the sensation. Jensen slides his arm under Jared’s head and shoulders, keeping him tucked close, as those fingers slide down further, teasing just above the waistband of his underwear.

“Did you mean it when you said we’d keep goin’?” Jared asks softly, voice slightly muffled against Jensen’s chest.

“If you wanna, yeah,” Jensen replies.

Jared’s hand slips lower, pressing just barely against Jensen’s cock. Jensen forces his hips to remain still and not chase the fleeting pressure but he can’t quite bite back a low moan. Jared lifts his head and looks up at him, eyes still lust-dark. “I do,” Jared whispers.

Jensen slides his other arm around Jared’s waist, hand smoothing over the curve of Jared’s ass, down his thigh then back up again. Jared shivers and presses closer, staring at Jensen as he purposefully presses their hips together, rocking against the straining, trapped length of his cock. Jensen moans again and grips Jared’s ass, fingers tightening just slightly, kneading the firm muscle.

Jared lips part around a soft, breathy moan, eyes fluttering closed. Jensen dips down and kisses along his cheek, down his jaw. “Wanna show you something,” Jensen murmurs against his ear. “Can you flip over for me?”

Jared blinks up at him for a second before turning over, settling on his stomach, arms crossed on the pillow, cheek on the back of one hand. His eyes flutter closed when Jensen dips down and kisses his temple, a small smile curling up his lips. Jensen moves so that he’s kneeling between Jared’s slightly spread legs, biting down on his bottom lip at the sight of Jared spread out in front of him, his long back and the perfect, tempting curve of his ass.

When Jared wiggles slightly and glances back over his shoulder, Jensen realizes that he’s just been sitting there, staring, for a few long minutes. Jensen flashes him a smile and leans over, kissing the back of Jared’s shoulder. Jared keeps watching him, his dark eyes following every movement Jensen makes as he moves down Jared’s back, kissing and nipping at random spots. He stops just above the swell of Jared’s ass, hands curling down over his hips.

He slides his thumbs over the soft flesh and gently pulls Jared’s ass cheeks apart. Jared squirms and Jensen looks up at him. His brow is furrowed and he’s chewing on the side of his bottom lip. Jensen gives him another smile and leans up, brushing a kiss to his lips.

“Just relax for me, sweetheart,” Jensen murmurs against his lips.

Jared nods and settles back down. Jensen moves back down, pressing a kiss to the small of Jared’s back before gently parting his cheeks again. He drags his tongue down the cleft, flicking just the tip over the tight furl of his entrance. Jared makes a noise of surprise – the most adorable squeaky sound – and jumps, his head snapping up and turning to look back at Jensen so fast that Jensen will be surprised if he didn’t pull something.

“Jensen…”

“It’s okay, baby,” Jensen assures him. “Just lemme. You don’t like it, I’ll stop.”

Jared eyes him warily for a moment before dipping his head in a barely-there nod. Jensen goes right back to it, swirling his tongue around Jared’s hole, pressing lightly to slowly tease him open, then slipping down further, licking along his perineum to the back of his balls before sliding back up, once again circling around his rim. Jared moans softly and shifts his legs open even more, tilting his ass up a little.

Jensen loses himself in the musky, sweat-salty taste of his husband, the little sounds Jared can’t bite back, the sensation of Jared’s rim slowly opening beneath his touch. Jared’s starting to push back into each swipe of Jensen’s tongue, his whole body trembling. Jensen uses one hand to keep Jared spread open for him and teases one finger around his hole, slowly pressing forward when Jared tilts his hips back.

“Jensen,” Jared moans, wiggling and squirming until he can push himself up onto his hands and knees. Jensen slides his finger in deeper, rubbing along Jared’s inner walls, smirking when he finds Jared’s prostate and his husband moans harshly, arching the beautiful, long line of his back. “Oh God,” he pants.

Jensen can see Jared’s arms trembling, trying to hold his weight. He slides his hand up Jared’s spine and presses between his shoulder blades, silently urging him back down. Jared collapses onto his elbows, head hanging between his shoulders, sweat-damp curtain of his hair hiding his face. Jensen pulls away from his rim for a moment and drapes himself over Jared’s back, keeping his finger still, buried deep.

“Doin’ okay?” Jensen asks quietly.

“Oh God,” Jared repeats softly. Jensen presses a kiss to the back of his neck and Jared tips his head back. “Feels so good,” he breathes. Jensen teases his finger over Jared’s sweet spot again, pulling another moan from him. “More, Jen, please?”

Jensen hums in agreement and kisses his way back down Jared’s spine. He licks around his finger, pushing his tongue into Jared’s loosened entrance. He carefully pushes a second finger in, pausing when Jared tenses up, rubbing the small of his back to help calm him back down. He keeps going, slowly working Jared open on his tongue and two fingers, thrusting in deep and twisting his wrist, brushing against Jared’s prostate on every other thrust.

“Jensen,” Jared mewls, hips trembling as he pushes against him, back arching. “More…”

Jensen pulls away, leaning over to reach for his bedside table. He almost pulls the drawer completely out, searching blindly for the tube of lube he knows he left there over a year ago. He finally finds it and grabs a condom, dropping it on the bed. He slicks up his fingers, carefully pushing three into him. Jared tenses again, clamping down hard around Jensen’s fingers. Jensen leans over, kissing and biting at the curve of Jared’s neck.

“Easy, baby,” he murmurs against the sweat-slick skin. “Just relax and breathe for me, okay.” Jared takes a few unsteady breaths, leaning his head back against Jensen’s shoulder. Jensen kisses his throat, nuzzling under his jaw. “That’s it, sweetheart. You okay? Wanna stop?”

“Don’t stop,” Jared blurts out, dark eyes wide when he turns to look at Jensen. “’m okay,” he adds. “Please don’t stop, Jensen.”

“Okay,” Jensen agrees. He presses a kiss to the side of Jared’s lips, surprised when Jared turns his head more and slides their lips together fully, not hesitating a bit to deepen it, like he doesn’t care at all where Jensen’s lips and tongue just were. Jensen groans into the kiss, his cock twitching almost painfully against the curve of Jared’s ass. “Okay,” he repeats, nipping at Jared’s bottom lip when he pulls away. “It’s, uh, it’s easier like this, the first time,” he murmurs.

“Wanna see you,” Jared replies softly. “Please?”

Jensen smiles and kisses him again before pulling away, focusing on working three fingers into Jared, opening him up as best as he can, to make it as easy as possible on his husband. It takes a few moments but Jared relaxes again, moaning and whimpering, pushing back into each thrust.

“’m ready, Jen,” Jared moans after a few short minutes. Jensen wants to argue but when he looks up, Jared’s looking over his shoulder again, those beautiful eyes big and needy, so dark.

“Okay,” Jensen sighs, pulling his fingers away. Jared whimpers, nose wrinkling adorably. “C’mon, flip over, darlin’.” While Jared’s turning over, Jensen takes the chance to finally push off his boxer briefs. Jared settles on his back, knees bent, legs spread wide, and looks at Jensen. He glances down at Jensen’s cock, his eyes widening and snapping back up to Jensen’s face. Jensen leans down and kisses him, slow and sweet. “Last time,” he says softly. “Are you sure about this?”

“Yeah,” Jared breathes, flashing him a smile. Jensen nods and grabs the condom, eyes snapping to Jared when his husband grabs his wrist. “Don’t,” Jared says simply.

Jensen has always used protection. With his lifestyle before Jared, he wasn’t willing to take any chances. He’s pretty sure Jared’s the type to have used them as well when he was with his ex. Honestly, he isn’t worried about possibly getting anything from Jared. He’s almost a hundred percent sure that he doesn’t have anything but even the slightest possibility is too much. “Jared,” he frowns, shaking his head slightly.

“I trust you, Jensen,” Jared replies, smiling at him, those big eyes begging him. He can feel himself wavering. Those eyes are going to get him in trouble, he just knows it. All Jared has to do is look at him that way and Jensen’s pretty sure there’s nothing he won’t give him. “And I love you.” Little shit. “It’s just us, right? For the rest of our lives,” his voice breaks a little and Jensen can see a bit of doubt creep in. It kills him.

“’course it is, baby,” Jensen assures him, sinking one hand into his hair, dipping down to kiss him. “Just don’t wanna take any chances.”

“You’ve always been careful, right?” Jared asks softly. Jensen can’t really place the emotion in his voice, his eyes.

“Yeah, every time.”

Whatever Jared was briefly feeling is gone and Jensen realizes that it was jealously. He bites back a smirk. “Well then there’s nothing to worry about,” Jared replies, shrugging one shoulder. He reaches out, hand sliding down Jensen’s chest, tentatively brushing against his cock. Jensen’s dick twitches eagerly into the light touch, fresh pre-come oozing from the slit. “Wanna feel you, Jensen,” Jared breathes. “Just you.”

Heat surges through Jensen’s whole body. He can’t lie and say that the thought isn’t hot like burning. Jared’s still looking up at him with those puppy eyes and Jensen hears himself whisper, “Yeah, okay. Whatever you want, sweetheart.” It’s not as terrifying as he thinks it should be when he realizes that he means it with every inch of his heart, his soul. There isn’t anything he won’t do, anything he won’t give Jared.

Jared smiles sweetly, throwing his arms around Jensen’s shoulders when he crawls between Jared’s legs. He shivers a little when he slicks himself up, the touch of his own lube-slick hand enough to almost push him over the edge. He honestly doesn’t know how he’s going to last once he’s inside Jared’s tight, wet heat, bare no less. He feels like he’s been on edge for hours at this point.

He settles down, one hand holding his weight pressing into the mattress next to Jared’s head, the other blindly lining himself up. Their eyes lock and Jensen smiles. “Just try to relax, sweetheart. Remember to breathe, okay?”

Jared nods and Jensen pushes forward, just the tip breeching the still-tight ring of muscle. Jared tenses up, his breath hitching in his chest. Jensen’s jaw clenches, eyes squeezing closed for a second. Jared’s trembling beneath him, fingers digging in Jensen’s shoulders hard enough to hurt. “Gonna breathe and relax, Jay,” Jensen grits out, reopening his eyes. “Just breathe and lemme in, baby,” he’s almost begging at this point.

Jared does as he’s told, staring up at Jensen, breathing slowly. Jensen flashes him a slightly strained smile and nods. “That’s it,” he murmurs.

It feels like it takes forever but Jared finally relaxes, his muscles unclenching. He’s still tight but Jensen pushes forward, both of them gasping as he sinks deeper into Jared’s body. It takes a few stops and starts, Jensen murmuring into Jared’s ear or against his lips, but eventually he pushes in the last few inches, burying himself to the hilt. Jared’s still staring up at him, eyes wide. His fingers slide over the curve of Jensen’s shoulders, down his back then up again, hands in constant movement. “Holy crap,” Jared breathes, blinking owlishly.

Jensen smiles and nods. “Yeah,” he agrees.

Jared licks his lips and wraps his legs around Jensen’s thighs, tangling their legs together, his thighs squeezing Jensen’s hips. He clenches down around Jensen’s cock and Jensen groans, his hips trembling with the need to just move.

“I’m okay,” Jared smiles at him, fingers teasing at the hair on the nape of Jensen’s neck. “You can move. I’m good.”

Jensen rests his elbows on the mattress on either side of Jared’s head, sliding both hands into his hair. He draws his hips back slowly then thrusts back in, the slide a little easier. He repeats the movement, thrusting back in a little harder and faster, slowly working up a rhythm. It’s unlike anything he’s ever felt, the physical sensations amazing but the fact that it’s Jared beneath him, his husband, the only man he’s ever loved, makes it so much more.

He shifts his hips, changing the angle just slightly, hitting Jared’s sweet spot on the next thrust. Jared moans harshly, his back arching, and he starts thrusting back against Jensen. “Feels amazing, baby,” Jensen groans, dropping his head, mouthing wetly at Jared’s pounding pulse.

“More,” Jared breathes, clawing at Jensen’s shoulders. “Please, babe, need more.”

Jensen reaches down and grabs Jared’s leg, digging his fingers into his thick, flexing thigh and pulls his leg up higher around his hip, pushing in harder, faster and deeper. Jared moans in appreciation and tightens his arms around Jensen, clinging to him as he snaps his hips up to meet every thrust. Jensen can feel Jared’s cock pressed between them, hard and leaking again, twitching with every hit to his prostate. It pushes Jensen even closer to the edge, heat pooling low in his stomach, the base of his spine, his groin tightening.

He pushes his hand between them and wraps his fingers around the hot, thick length. Jared’s fingernails dig into his shoulders and he moans, burying his face in Jensen’s neck. “’m close, Jen,” Jared whispers.

“Me too, baby,” Jensen grits out.

It doesn’t take long after that. A few more strokes of his hand, twisting his wrist beneath the head of Jared’s dick, and a handful of thrusts against his sweet spot, and Jared cries out, his cock twitching in Jensen’s hand, his release smearing between their stomachs. Jensen works him through it but he’s pretty much completely lost the rhythm, erratically thrusting into Jared, his fluttering inner muscles pushing him closer and closer. Jared whimpers and bites down on Jensen’s shoulder, hard, and that’s just it. Jensen pushes in deep, moaning as he comes as well, his orgasm almost painful as he unloads inside his husband.

Jensen pulls his hand out of the way before essentially collapsing against Jared’s chest. Jared hums softly and lets his leg slide down from Jensen’s hip, his arms slipping down Jensen’s back. Jensen kisses his way up Jared’s neck, over his jaw, pulling back to look into Jared’s eyes. Jared’s smiling, blinking sleepily, his cheeks still flushed. Jensen smiles back and brushes a sweet, chaste kiss to Jared’s lips. He doesn’t move until his softening cock slips from Jared’s hole, flopping down onto the mattress at Jared’s side. Jared rolls over and presses up close, one arm and leg thrown over Jensen, head on his shoulder. Jensen sighs happily and turns, pressing a kiss to the top of Jared’s head.

He’s not one for cuddling usually but having Jared pressed close, warm and naked, smelling like sweat and sex, is too good to give up. He knows they should get up and take a shower, at the very least clean up a little, but he’s too comfortable and too tired to bother. And he’s pretty sure Jared is already asleep anyway.

“I love you,” he whispers against Jared’s sweat-damp, messy hair, eyes sliding closed.

“Mm, love you, too,” Jared replies, surprising Jensen. Jared snuggles closer, tucks his face into Jensen’s neck. “We… We’re gonna be okay, right, Jensen?” he asks softly after a few moments of peaceful silence.

“We’re gonna be better than okay,” Jensen replies quietly, not even having to think about it.

He has a mess to clean up, he knows that, and despite the progress they already made tonight Jensen knows that there is more they need to talk about, more they need to work on and figure out. But they love each other and Jensen has to believe that they’ll make it work, no matter what. They’ve already beaten the odds that were stacked against them and Jensen is sure that they’ll figure the rest of it out.