Chapter Text
Gaara had expected to face opposition when he took up the mantle of Kazekage after his father stepped down. He had been prepared for accusations of nepotism and megalomania, as well as gibes at his youth and status as a former tailed beast host. Yet there was one criticism he had not accounted for.
His marital status.
The council members used every opportunity to attack what they perceived as his failing in this area. No Kazekage had ever held the title without a wife, they insisted. Never mind the decades his father had ruled a widower. It was unseemly, they claimed. It showed a lack of commitment, a crudeness, a want of humanity.
It had gotten to the point where, regardless of the meeting agenda, the discussion would inevitably turn to his bachelorhood.
"This has to stop," Temari declared, glaring at the wall as though it were personally responsible. "Absolutely nothing is getting done. We were halfway through discussing the first point on the list when they brought up marriage again."
"The hell is their problem?" Kankuro shook his head in disgust as he plunked down on the couch. "I swear, they're nitpicking every little thing they can think of."
"That may be so, but it is the most valid complaint," said Rasa. "Every Kazekage thus far has ascended to the position with a wife. In this case, their objections can be disguised as mere adherence to tradition."
Gaara sat opposite his brother, utterly silent.
Temari frowned. "So what do we do? It seems like the only solution is for Gaara to marry."
"That is the most effective option," Rasa posited. "A union would not only silence the council, but make an impression on foreign dignitaries as well." His eyes softened imperceptibly as he looked at his youngest son. "And you may find the experience not unpleasant."
"Plus, it'd make you a hell of a lot more personable to the villagers," Kankuro pointed out. When Gaara gave them all a dour look, he defended, "It's not like it has to be real. Just something to get those decrepit morons off your back."
"A fake marriage?" mused Temari. "The other party would have to be in on it as well. And the relationship should be convincing enough that the council won't catch on to our real intentions."
Gaara's look had turned contemplative.
Seeing that his brother was beginning to consider the idea, Kankuro added, "It won't have to be forever, either. Maybe a year. That should be long enough to show those idiots that you're committed and civilized and humane and whatever else they've been spouting. Then you can get an amicable divorce."
"If the prospect of a genuine marriage is disagreeable to you, this is the best alternative," Rasa affirmed. "Although it may be difficult to maintain the act."
"Fine," Gaara said at last. A year of presenting the perfect marriage was doable. He did not want the entirety of his leadership to consist of one long condemnation of his marital status.
"Guess all that's left to do is pick the lucky girl," Kankuro said cheerfully.
"Since we need both of them to carry on the act, that means she has to be someone we can trust," Temari concluded.
"Not to mention willing to go along with this," Kankuro continued.
Temari nodded. "Someone familiar would work best."
Gaara barely listened. There was only one person he could accept at his side for an entire year. "Lee."
Rasa was the first to react. He raised an eyebrow. "That would certainly deter any inquiries regarding an heir," was all he said.
After the initial shock, Temari considered. Lee was familiar, trustworthy, and overwhelmingly eager to be of service. "If we frame it like a mission, he's sure to agree."
"He'll be really enthusiastic, too. You'll barely have to do any acting, Gaara." Kankuro grinned.
"You two have my blessing," Rasa said, in a voice drier than the desert sands.
After Lee returned from his mission, Gaara received him in the Kazekage's office.
"It is good to see you, my friend! Have you been well?" Lee asked brightly, never mind the fact that he was the one covered in blood and grime.
With a nod, Gaara placed the other's mission report aside and steepled his fingers together. "I have another mission for you, Lee."
"Of course!" The man stood at attention.
"Marry me."
Lee did not react, and for a moment Gaara wondered if his friend had even heard. He dismissed the thought immediately. The jonin's hearing was superb. He left his desk and stopped in front of the other. Although there was still a difference in their heights, it was a far cry from the sizeable gap that had existed when they were younger. He could look into those dark, round orbs with ease now, to his satisfaction.
Lee flushed. "Pardon?"
"I know you heard me," Gaara said sternly.
"Yes, but I am afraid I do not understand," Lee answered weakly.
Now Gaara was confused. What was incomprehensible about this? "I want you to be my wife," he tried.
Lee flailed. "But I am a man, and my friend, are you proposing? That is something you do to your most precious person! And why all of a sudden? I have never heard you express interest in marriage before!"
Gaara was about to point out that Lee was his most precious person when a snicker came from the doorway.
"So romantic." Kankuro grinned, walking over. To Lee, he said, "You know, I suggested flowers, but he said they were unnecessary."
Temari approached as well. "All right, enough with the fun and games. You must be confused." She paused before explaining, "The thing is, Gaara is facing a lot of opposition to his rule from many of the council members. Their biggest complaint, for some reason, is that he's unmarried. So, we're giving you a mission. For one year, we need you two to pretend to be a couple in order to quell their dissent."
Understanding dawned in Lee's eyes. "I see." He blinked. "But why me?"
"Well, you guys have always been close." Kankuro shrugged. "With luck, that familiarity will pass as intimacy. And you're good at reading him, which is useful since you'll need to be in sync with each other to pull this off." His grin returned. "Not to mention, we're kind of hoping your enthusiasm will cover for Gaara being, well, Gaara."
Lee looked intensely thoughtful for a moment before beaming. "Very well! I am honored to be able to provide such assistance to my dearest friend!"
"Great." Temari turned to go. "The wedding's next week."
"You probably want to stop calling Gaara your friend by then," Kankuro said over his shoulder.
Lee walked to the door as well. "I will be seeing you, my," here his eyes widened, and he corrected hastily, "love!"
Gaara's heart should not have squeezed the way it did just then.
Although Lee felt a tad guilty concealing the truth from his sensei, Guy's sheer delight at the news of the upcoming nuptials made up for it. His teammates' reactions were more incredulous.
"Are you crazy?" Tenten yelled over the phone. "You're getting married in a week?" She sighed. "Can't say I'm surprised at the choice of partner, though. You two have been in love since forever."
It was a rare occasion when both Gaara and Lee were at a loss for words.
"Congratulations," said Neji. "I assume it will be a small gathering?"
"That is correct," Lee replied, recovering. "All of our friends from the Sand and Leaf are invited, but of course, not everyone will be able to make it on such short notice. We are expecting around twenty people."
Tenten finally calmed down. "I guess a week makes sense," she grudgingly admitted. "You guys have waited long enough at this point. Well, we'll definitely be there. Later, lovebirds!"
For some reason, most of the guests reacted much the same way.
"Hey, No Brows, Bushy Brows, glad to see you guys finally pulled your heads out of your asses!" Naruto greeted cheerfully, tossing them a gift as he waltzed in.
"Watch your language, Naruto," Sakura reprimanded, before extending her congratulations to the duo.
"Took you two long enough," Sasuke said as his brother bowed gracefully at his side, Itachi's smile as enigmatic as ever.
"It's like a fairy tale." Matsuri sighed happily. "After all these years, you both finally realized the depth of your feelings."
"I was wondering when the pair of you would notice," Shira remarked with faint amusement.
There was a bit of a stir when the Legendary Three showed up.
"The Sand brat's all grown up, I see. Settling down with his childhood sweetheart and everything," Tsunade observed.
Jiraiya thumped Gaara on the back. "It's sudden, but hey, I get it. Why wait when you can get right to the good stuff?" Next to him, Orochimaru rolled his eyes. Lee turned an unhealthy shade of red.
Only those who did not know the Sixth Hokage well were surprised when he arrived.
"Hey, thanks for getting me out of the village for a week," Kakashi said. After a beat, he added, "Not like I could've missed this if I wanted to. Guy would have gutted me."
"Oh, Rival! Always so humorous!" Guy boomed. "But I never doubted you would be present for this momentous occasion!" He took Gaara's hands in his own. "Lord Kazekage! You're the only one I can entrust Lee to. Your union will be as joyous and fruitful as the glorious springtime of youth itself!"
Next, the man clasped Lee's shoulders. "My precious student! There are several things I must tell you before you embark on this next journey of your life!" He proceeded to launch into a passionate speech, his former student listening eagerly.
Kankuro nudged Neji as they observed in twin bemusement. "Here's to a lifetime of third-wheeling."
The Hyuga only sighed in reply, though he could not help the smile that tugged at his mouth.
Some distance away, Tenten shook her head. "Why did they have to be so late on the uptake? If they realized sooner, things wouldn't be this rushed."
Temari shrugged. It was a little strange to see how prevalent the misconception that Gaara and Lee were in love was, but so long as it helped their cause, she would not complain. "Come on, Buns, it's a wedding. Lighten up." She smirked.
Tenten rolled her eyes. "Guess you're right." She nodded at the dance floor, then grinned back at the woman. "Well, are you gonna join me, or do I have to drag you over myself?"
At the other end of the room, Rasa eyed the proceedings with a practiced poker face. "This will be easier than we thought," he said to Yashamaru, who chuckled.
Baki approached and bowed to the former Kazekage. "Congratulations, Lord Rasa. Those two are a good match for each other."
The man simply grunted in agreement. "Has the rest of the council been informed of the marriage?"
"Yes. They were surprised, to say the least." Baki paused. "There are some who insist this is nothing more than a ruse, but they are unfamiliar with the pair's relationship." The two men looked over to see Lee smiling lovingly at Gaara as the Kazekage's hand rested on the other's waist.
Rasa could only hope they were able to continue the charade for as long as necessary.
Gaara's first council meeting as a married man was drastically different. The instant he walked into the room, there was an uproar as several council members bombarded him with questions.
"Lord Kazekage, what is the meaning of this?"
"We asked for a marriage, not this ludicrous farce!"
"Do you truly expect us to believe you wed that laughingstock?"
They fell silent as murderous intent filled the room. Gaara might as well have slammed his hands down on the table. "I advise you never to say such things about my wife again," he said evenly, and sat down.
"Wife?" the council members mouthed at each other, before the door banged open.
Lee rushed in, breathless. Spying his friend, he brightened. "My love, you forgot your lunch!" He whipped out a box neatly wrapped in a polka-dot handkerchief and set it down in front of the man. With a wave at the council, he left.
Gaara gazed calmly at the stunned faces, excluding Baki, who was smiling. "Shall we begin?"
In the following weeks, the Kazekage could be seen walking alongside the jonin through the streets every afternoon. A few citizens murmured how sweet it was, while others scoffed. Nevertheless, they all became accustomed to the sight of this daily ritual.
The walks were not the only difference. The Kazekage could often be found buying trinkets and presents for his beloved, or accompanying the man to the market to pick up ingredients for dinner. Again, public opinion was mixed, but such events became the norm.
The first gifts that came flooding in from various dignitaries reflected Gaara's habit of referring to Lee as his wife.
"If you don't want this, I'll take it," Temari said, pulling a stunning women's kimono from a package.
Lee could only nod as Gaara looked on impassively.
Temari's mouth quirked up. "Thanks." Folding it away, she mused, "Buns looks great in pink."
On the couch, Kankuro cracked up. "Listen to this." He read from a card, "For the ravishing wife of the Fifth Kazekage. May these blooms last as long as your beauty."
Lee dropped his head into his hands. Flowers he could manage. But there were far too many gifts that were intended exclusively for the female form.
As if to prove this point, Kankuro whistled, holding up a sheer nightgown. "Now that is racy." He addressed his sister. "You want this, too?"
Temari considered. "Nah. Tempting, but she'd probably hit me."
Kankuro grinned at his brother-in-law. "Looks like you get to use this yourself, Lee."
Something in Gaara stirred as he pictured the man in the garment. He filed the feeling away for later inspection. Meanwhile, his friend groaned and did not look up.
The strangest part of the whole thing, Lee thought, was getting used to people calling him Honorable Consort. The mission itself was not difficult. He spent the same amount of time with Gaara as he always did, although now more of it took place in the public eye.
Overriding nearly two decades of habit to say "love" instead of "friend" was challenging at first, but soon the endearment dropped from his lips with ease. And in truth, Lee enjoyed the excuse to do small things for Gaara that would normally toe the line of friendship, like writing notes in the man's lunch, or massaging the other's shoulders after a long day of work.
The council, of course, was not content to allow the days to pass quietly in this carefree manner.
"We've got trouble," Kankuro announced one day.
Gaara stared at him in a way that suggested he would be arching an eyebrow if he had any.
"The council is getting suspicious again," Temari elaborated.
Lee looked dismayed. "Have I not been passionate enough in my displays of affection?"
Temari coughed. "You could say that." Chewing her lip, she said, "You've been doing a great job, Lee. But some of them still aren't convinced. They keep bringing up the fact that you two are never seen, you know, being intimate."
"Who knew those idiots were such perverts?" Kankuro threw up his hands. "Do they want to see you guys screwing on the meeting table?"
Lee gaped as Temari shook her head. "As much as I wouldn't put it past them, I don't think it's that. Gaara's dissenters just want an excuse to invalidate the marriage."
The Kazekage frowned. "What do you propose we do?"
Kankuro shrugged. "I know it's a lot to ask, but if they're that adamant about PDA, you're gonna have to give it to them. Just a smooch here and there. You guys are best friends. You've slept in the same bed since you were five, for gods' sakes. It shouldn't be that awkward."
"They're not the same kind of friends you and Naruto are," Temari retorted, smirking at her brother's expression.
"Look, just try, all right? There's not much else the council can complain about after this," Kankuro muttered, and fled before his sister could make any further comments.