Chapter Text
“Do you think we should get married?”
Freddie looks up from the chessboard, startled out of his thoughts. Florence is sitting across from him, with that analytical look on her face she sometimes gets, but he can see the earnestness peeking through, too, so he knows she’s not joking.
“Um, maybe?” He’s not really sure why she’s bringing this up now. “Why are you asking? I thought you were happy with this.”
What this is, he’s not entirely sure, still. They’re certainly not dating. He doesn’t have feelings for her, not really, even though they sleep together. It’s more than a friendship, though. Florence is his person. He can honestly see himself living with her forever. Marriage is something he hasn’t really considered though, in part because he really only got his papers fixed to reflect that he’s a man a little over a year ago.
“Remember when you were in the hospital, and they wouldn’t let me in because it was after visiting hours and I told them I was your friend?”
Freddie actually doesn’t really remember. He does remember her telling him after, absolutely seething about how they sent her away, but when it was happening, he was pretty out of it. He was newly concussed after a fainting spell, at the time, so his processing skills weren’t exactly great. Florence had told him that she had seen them making exceptions for married couples, but since they’re not even dating, and she didn’t think to lie, they didn’t let her in.
“Yeah, I remember.” He raises his wrist, his new medical bracelet on display. “How could I not?”
“Freddie, be serious. Don’t you think it’d have been better if I could have been in the room with you? I had to just go home and worry myself sick all night.” It’s becoming more clear that this is something she’s been thinking about a lot.
“We can talk about it, sure.”
“So let’s talk.” She gets up, and he follows her over to their couch. The chessboard in front of them at the table would have just distracted them both.
“You’re not in love with me or anything, are you?”
Florence laughs. “If I was in love with anyone in the world, it’d be you, but I’m not.”
He sighs, relieved. He feels the same way about her, to be honest. If he can’t fall in love with Florence, he can’t fall in love with anyone. She’s beautiful, of course, and funny, and smart, and he’s attracted to her, but he just doesn’t have feelings for her or anything. As far as he knows, she feels the same way about him. It works out.
“I just wouldn’t wanna get involved legally if you would start expecting romance or anything.”
“Well, I don’t, so you don’t have to worry about it.”
“Okay. That’s good.”
She pulls her legs up onto the couch, and looks at him. “I think we should get married, really.”
“You know, I really should be the one proposing.”
“I’m a modern woman.”
Freddie laughs. “You certainly are. Do you think we can even actually get married?”
“Why not?”
“I mean…” He gestures at his body. “You know.”
Florence tucks a strand of curly dark hair behind her ear. “Walter fixed your paperwork, so it should be fine, in theory.”
“Yeah, in theory. What if they want baby pictures or something?”
She laughs incredulously. “Why would they want that?”
“Hell if I know. It could happen.”
“Well, I don’t have any baby pictures here either. So.” He knows she doesn’t. Suddenly the mood in the room is less playful, more serious, as it tends to be when she talks about her childhood in Hungary.
“They probably won’t ask for that, honestly. How do you even… get married?”
She giggles. “Paperwork, I think.”
“God, more fucking paperwork?” He groans. While Walter handled the majority of his name and sex marker change, he still had to do some paperwork and gather documents, which was more work than he’d expected it to be. Not to mention all of his health insurance stuff from his hospital visits.
“It’s like you don’t even want to marry me,” Florence teases. He rolls his eyes.
“I think we should do it. Seriously.”
“Me too. I think it’ll make everything easier.”
When Freddie really thinks about it, he agrees with her. Both of them have landed themselves in the hospital before, so it’ll help for that. It’ll be easier to find somewhere to live if they move, there’ll be tax benefits, and – this is something he won’t articulate, probably — he likes the idea of being bound to her in a tangible way. It’ll make them a unit, Freddie-and-Florence. He already likes to imagine it.
“So, what do we have to do? D’you want a ring?”
“It might be nice if we both had rings, right?”
“Yeah, it would. I think we should tell Walter, though. In case he has advice.”
She rolls her eyes. “Freddie, he’s not a lawyer.”
“Whatever the hell he is, he knows enough that I want to tell him.”
“He’ll definitely have something to say.” Florence doesn’t like Walter that much.
He looks at her. She’s beautiful, with her curves and curly hair and brown doe eyes. “Hey, Flor?”
“Yeah?”
“Kiss me?”
“Sure.” She scooches over on the couch until they’re close together, and then presses her lips to his.
Soon enough, his hand is tangled in her hair and she’s basically in his lap and his tongue is in her mouth. She has her hands on his chest, and if it were anyone else he’d be pissed they were even looking at his chest, but it’s Florence, so he doesn’t mind.
He wouldn’t say they do this often. “Sometimes” is more accurate, probably. Florence is an attractive woman, and he likes to think he’s okay-looking for a transsexual. They live together, so it’s convenient, and even though they’re not a couple or anything they still have desires. He’s only a man, after all, and a beautiful woman is half in his lap and kissing him. And, on top of that, she’s the only person he trusts enough to sleep with, given his situation combined with his relative fame as the chess champion of the United States.
It’s not about romance. It’s about closeness, and this is certainly a way to be close. They know each other in every way it’s possible to know someone. That’s what he wants, not love. Florence has said the same in different words.
So, what is marriage except another expression of that? He wants to be with her forever, he knows that. He assumes she feels the same, since she’s the one who brought up marriage. Till death do us part, or whatever. The idea of that utter closeness, trying to guess where he ends and she begins and not being able to get a clear answer, that’s what he wants.
And, sure, they fight. It’s nothing they can’t come back from, though, and it’s worth it to stick it out, in his mind. Arguments here and there can’t ruin their friendship, it’s normal – they live together and they work together. Naturally there’ll be spats.
Every future that Freddie can imagine has Florence in it, and this is a way to cement that. He’d never thought he would get married, but now it’s obvious that it’s what they should do. He’s looking forward to it, and to spending the rest of his life with her – with his best friend.