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There was something so special about Kris. The way they moved, the way they spoke, the way they did – well, anything.
There were many things that Susie admired about Kris. Maybe it was because they were everything she wasn’t, despite being so similar. Susie was large and scaly, muscular and mean. Kris was small and smooth, lean and thin. But more than just physical differences aside, there was something else there, too.
There were times that Susie swore she saw something different about Kris. They seemed to almost glow at times, and always knew what to say. They could be ruthless and cold, sweet and understanding, calm and collected – Susie was always just her same old self.
But Kris? Kris could be anything. And she wasn’t sure if she envied it or admired it.
She had stared off into space on her way to Castle Town. She and Kris had agreed to meet there after doing whatever they needed to after school. Kris was probably already there, because they had just said they’d be at church helping Toriel with something, while Susie had taken to just sitting by the lake. It had become their spot, and when Kris was away, she felt herself drawn to it, like an old friend.
The school’s lights were still on; it was only around 5 in the evening, and she could still hear the echoes of Ms. Alphys’ voice giving her tutoring to the students who stayed back. The supply closet was sturdy as it had ever been, staring down at her with the darkness that looked as though it was trying to escape, and she supposed it was. Castle Town had become very lively in the past few days.
She opened the door, and as she beamed down, she saw that there was only Ralsei waiting for her. Had Kris not come? Had they forgotten, or gotten caught up with something? She was immediately very curious.
Ralsei waved at her, but she shook her head before saying, “Where’s Kris?”
“Oh! They decided to take a walk around town while we waited. Said that they couldn’t stay still for that long or their soul would explode,” Ralsei smiled.
“Their soul would explode?” Susie echoed in a laugh.
Ralsei nodded, “Yep. Very melodramatic,”
“Sounds like Kris.”
They soon fell into their muscle memory guiding them throughout Castle Town. The pair talked to damn near everyone in the town, but there was no sign of Kris. Susie was confused, that’s for certain, because it was a very open area. They – in all of their very, very bright blue self – wouldn’t be able to slip past the radar like that.
“Hm,” Ralsei began thoughtfully. “I’ll check the castle. How about we split up, and you look around town one more time?”
Susie shrugged, “Yeah, sure.”
And so there was one. She passed by Seam’s shop and browsed wares for all of 3 seconds before leaving (Kris always managed the things they carried), stared at the Party Dojo for a minute too long (it was so colorful it captivated her), she even checked on the prison directly to the left of the exit (it was just cool). Nothing.
“If I were Kris, where would I be…” She mumbled to herself.
That is, until she heard a faint hum from the other side. To the left of the exit, there was a small place with a sort of hole in the wall, and there was water trickling out of it at all times. It sparkled whenever she looked at it, and she had a vague memory of Kris taking her there to pull out a few items.
She remembers it quite clearly, actually…
…
“So you’re saying, if I stick my hand in there, I’ll magically pull out Jevil’s tail?”
Kris nodded.
“Right. As if,” Susie said, already shoving her hand into the hole. It was cold and wet and her wrist was getting all scratched up, but it was something she could handle. Then, she felt it; there was something that curled around her palm and fingers almost curiously. And then, a sharp point pressed itself against her palm. “OW!”
Kris tilted their head impassively.
“Something bit me,” Susie huffed, trying to pull her hand out, but to no avail. “Or, scratched me? I don’t know, but it’s– IT’S DOING IT AGAIN!”
Kris laughed as Susie tugged herself free after multiple moments of struggle. She gave a slight puff of her chest, but found herself staring at Kris. They were smiling, fully smiling, a rare thing for them. Even though Kris’ face left much to be desired, they were… cute.
“What’s so funny, smartass?” She grinned.
Kris grinned right back. “You,” they said. “You and your dumb face.”
…
That memory was something she thought about a lot. And oftentimes, it left her wondering, for no particular reason. But Kris’ expression in that moment, something about it was just so them, so inexplicably them, that it left her entire world shattering underneath her.
She approached the hole in the wall, and found what she was looking for. Kris was hunched over sitting against the rocks, cradling something in their arms. No, cradling wasn’t the word… more like death gripping. They had such a tight hold on whatever it was that it sounded like it was scraping against their hand. More rocks covered her vision, though, restricting her from fully seeing their figure.
“Hey, Kris,” Susie called. She heard the shuffle of armor and cloth and a grunt of… pain? “Hey, Kris? You okay?”
Susie rounded the corner, and there was… red. Lots and lots of red. Susie almost shrieked out of being startled, but she reeled it in, and instead just jumped back cartoonishly.
“Damn! Kris, what happened?!” She said, getting closer – but the closer she got, the more they seemed to inch away. “...Kris? Are you.. Are you…?”
Kris bowed their head. For some reason she couldn’t understand, they couldn’t meet her eyes. She kneeled to their level once she was in front of them, and gently took their hands. They were covered in a sticky, red substance. Like blood, but it didn’t have the coppery smell.
Did something happen? Are you scared of me? She wanted to ask, but she couldn’t bring herself to. Before she could dwell on those thoughts anymore, Kris clasped their hands over hers and shook their head.
She could tell that speaking was a struggle for them, because their voice came out as garbled and wrecked and strained, but she could make it out: “No. You, good. ‘M okay. My, my chest…”
Susie pressed her hand to Kris’ sternum. “Right here?”
Judging by the small wince they made, she was correct.
“What’s wrong, then?”
Kris sighed, shaking their head again. “Soul. Hurts.”
Susie squinted in confusion. Their soul hurt? What did that even mean? Susie tried to remember if there was something she was forgetting, but she could barely focus on that. Kris was a human, so this amount of all this… red stuff couldn’t have been good.
Kris was a human.
…Huh.
Susie remembered a small, passing conversation.
“Well, you’re a human, but is there anything really different about us?” Susie said. She kicked her feet ever so slightly, and the water soaked into the toes of her socks. The lake was nice, but maybe not when it was so cold. “I mean, yeah, I’m taller and beefier, but… what else? That’s a difference between human body types too,”
Kris hummed. “You’re mostly made of magic, aren’t you?”
“Oh. Right. Yeah, I guess monsters are made of magic.”
“That’s the difference.” Kris said, leaning into Susie’s side while already trying to skip a stone. It sank the second it hit the water. “Human bodies are different. Our matter is fragile, but our souls… our souls are how we survive.”
“What do you have that I don’t?” Susie teased.
“I’m not sure. I just know that a soul is a heavy burden.”
Susie laughed. “When did you get all poetic?”
Kris gave a small smile, shrugging. “It’s nothing new.”
…
Just how heavy was the burden?
“So, your soul,” Susie began. “Is there any way I could… help with, uh, the burden?”
Kris’ eyes widened. “You would do that?”
Susie nodded. “Can’t be too hard, right?”
Kris chewed on the inside of their cheek. Worry didn’t look good on them, she decided. It’s obvious that they were thinking about it way too much and stressing themself out, so she hauled herself next to them and put her arm over their shoulders.
“I’ll be okay. You’ll be okay. There’s nothing to worry about, Kris.”
After a moment, they made a small noise of agreement. Susie was curious as to what they would do next when they put their hand out in front of them, very particular about how they pointed their fingers. She was about to ask, “what’re you doing?” but Kris had other plans.
They jammed their hand deep into their chest. Susie could’ve assumed they were being tortured – and, maybe they were – but she couldn’t do anything but stay frozen in place. In a few more moments, Kris had an iron grip on a small heart-shaped object that emitted a small, red glow. It was so familiar, and it seemed to all make sense now.
She inhaled deeply, trying to stay calm. “So that’s your…”
“My soul,”
“Your soul. Does, does it hurt to pull it out like that?”
Kris nodded wordlessly. Susie took it upon herself to rub their shoulder carefully. The way Kris stared at the thing with such contempt made Susie confused. Who could harbor so much hate for their own soul, the culmination of them as a person? She couldn’t think about it further, however, because Kris took her hand and wrapped her fingers around it themself.
She didn’t even need to be careful, from what she had seen and Kris manhandling the thing, but she still took it gently and didn’t apply much force. For a few fleeting moments, it’d flutter helplessly, trying to get as close to her as possible. It reminded her so much of Kris, but also, like the very opposite.
Kris tapped her shoulder while she was staring at their soul with morbid curiosity.
“Wanna play hockey with it?” They asked.
A wicked grin spread across her face. “If it won’t hurt you? Hell yeah.”