Archive of Our Own

"Buck! Do you copy?" Bobby’s voice crackles through the radio as Buck sighs in relief, realizing that it survived the fall down the stairs. 

His arm not so much. A hot searing pain coming from his right elbow makes its way to the forefront of his mind and takes his breath away for a second. 

"Ow," he gasps softly as he tries to pull himself into a sitting position at the bottom of the stairs he just stumbled down. 

Leave it to him to fall down stairs on a call to a kitchen fire in a restaurant where he has been only tasked with finding the gas line to turn it off before it blows. Instead of doing that easy fucking task his body apparently decided to defy gravity, slip and slide, and have him check out how hard the blank concrete of the basement truly is. 

Buck can already hear Chim and Ravi taking the piss as soon as they hear how he hurt his arm. 

"Buckley, what’s your status?" Bobby asks again, an edge to his voice that clearly shows Buck has taken too long to answer. 

"C’mon Buck. How hard can it be to find the gas line man, I wanna get back to the station before the others eat all the chili," Eddie’s voice adds. Buck rolls his eyes, knowing this tone far too well. The slight tension of underlying worry that he tries to hide with gentle teasing. Typical Eddie. 

As soon as he has finally managed to get himself into a sitting position, he huffs an exhausted breath and tries to steady his arm, the pain getting worse by the second. 

"Do you need assistance down there, grandpa?" Ravi adds with a clear grin in his voice that has Buck roll his eyes. 

He’s finally able to grab his radio. "Shut up, Panikkar –"

"Buck," Bobby interrupts him with a sigh. 

"I’m fine, cap. Will be out in a minute. I just located the gas line," he answers, grimacing when he hears how tight his voice sounds. He just hopes the others are too occupied with putting the fire out to hear his panting. Luckily, he’s smart enough to click the radio off before scrambling to his feet because he loses his balance once more and has to grab the handrail to steady himself. Unfortunately, he’s also an idiot and uses his injured arm without thinking and hisses in pain as soon as he moves it. 

"Fuck, fuck, fuck," he swears, closing his eyes to fight off the dark spots that are dancing around his vision. 

Buck bites his lips and suppresses a small whine as he moves over to the outer wall where he has spotted the gas line. Turning it off, which is usually no work at all, turns out to be a little more difficult when your dominant hand is out of commission.

Once he has managed to turn it off and put a safety lock over it so the restaurant cannot use it before the city has checked it out, Buck finally makes his way out of the basement. He stares daggers at the stairs, especially the first step that somehow gave away to his weight and made him fall in the first place. 

Absolutely not up to safety standards, he huffs under his breath before opening the door and making his way out of the back door. He doesn’t have his oxygen tank on him since the basement’s entrance is located on the outside of the actual restaurant, meaning he needs to grab that before he can go help the others in the kitchen. 

He pushes the heavy fire door open with his good shoulder and grits his teeth as the pain now travels down to his hand. 

The moment he stumbles out into the warm midday sun, he’s met with the judging eyes of none other than Henrietta Wilson. 

Buck stops in his tracks, the surprise obvious on his face since he’s currently on the other side of the building with the engine and ambulance waiting on the street out front. And again, the others are supposed to be occupied inside the building. 

"Hen – what? Uhm, what are you doing back here? Is the fire out? I’m sorry it took me a minute. Let me grab my gear and I can go in and help with the rest," he says with the air of nonchalance as he tries to hide how bad his arm hurts. 

According to the absolute death stare Hen is currently giving him and the way she is crossing her arms tells Buck he is failing by several miles. 

"Where does it hurt?"

"No-" He starts but gets interrupted immediately. 

"Don’t even try this with me right now, Buckley. We all heard a crash and then a lot of cursing. No idea what happened but you are in pain. So tell me where."

But I turned the radio off? 

"No. You didn’t."

"Huh? Did I say that out loud?"

"Did you hit your head?" Hen immediately grabs her pen light and moves to check Buck’s pupils. 

Buck takes a step back and tries to dodge Hen’s hands. "No. I haven’t hit my head. And I don’t know what you mean, I’m fine."

"Right," Hen nods sagely. "Give me your hand."

Without thinking Buck tries to grab her hand with his right one, the movement sending a flash of pain through him and he almost stumbles back against the door. 

"You wanna tell me again how fine you are?" Hen says with an edge to her voice as she steps closer once more but her hands are gentle when they start to examine his arm. 

"Ow, okay maybe I am not so fine."

"What happened Buck?"

"One of the steps on the basement stairs was faulty and sent me flying, I landed on my elbow." At Hen’s sharp inhale, Buck tries to back track. "But! I didn’t hit my head. Promise! I’m okay, my arm just hurts."

"You fell down the stairs? What the fuck, Buck?!" Eddie’s voice screeches through his radio, having Buck flinch in surprise. 

He looks down at his radio and realizes with a start that it is indeed broken – the comms button must have been busted during the fall. No wonder all of them heard everything. He couldn’t click it off even if he wanted to. Just his fucking luck. 

"Eddie –"

Buck doesn’t get the chance to say anything else because in that moment a very pissed off and very sweaty Eddie rushes around the corner of the building and joins Hen in checking him out. 

Buck blushes at the gentleness in Eddie’s touch, his heart stumbling a little with how careful Eddie is. 

"You dumb fucking idiot. Who falls down some normal stairs? Cannot leave you alone, for fuck’s sake," Eddie grumbles, cursing something undoubtedly colorful in Spanish. 

"Hey, the step was faulty. I said that already!" Buck whines softly. "I did say that, right?"

"That’s it, you’ve earned yourself a trip to the ER."

"But –"

"No buts, Buck. Eddie is right. You need to get checked out. Even if this isn’t a concussion, we need to see what’s wrong with your arm. From what I can see it’s not broken but I will not let you out of my sight before a specialist has taken a look at this," Hen says matter-of-factly.

Both of them are giving him their best ‘don’t bullshit me’ looks to which Buck just sighs and nods. 

This is how he finds himself four hours later coming out of the ER, arm in a sling and the strict order to not move it for at least the next three weeks. 

He’s glad it’s nothing too severe and that he is spared surgery but still – he’s pouting. 

Buck pushes open the glass doors that separate the treatment area from the waiting room, his eyes immediately finding Eddie’s worried gaze. The other jumps up from where he’s been sitting on one of the uncomfortable hospital chairs, all pretense of reading a random magazine flying out of the room. 

With just a few steps, Eddie is standing in front of him and checking out the sling and dressing around Buck’s arm. 

"What’s the damage?" He asks, his voice, thankfully, back to normal even though there’s still the tiniest edge to it. Seeing Buck upright and mostly fine after being checked out must have finally done the trick of calming him down. 

"No concussion, just a small headache from bumping my head against the last step. Elbow’s not broken but severely bruised and pretty heavily sprained. Don’t need surgery – thank God – but I gotta wear the sling and I’m not allowed to move it. ‘Do not exert yourself, Mr. Buckley. This pain can turn chronic if the bursa gets inflamed’ yadda yadda yadda –" Buck explains, the pout obvious in his voice. 

"How long?"

"Three weeks. At least." He whines. 

"That’s not too bad. Could have been easily six to eight weeks, especially with surgery, and you know that, Buck. Three is nothing." Eddie gives him an exasperated look. 

"But I’m not allowed to work. Not even light duty. Because it’s my right hand. I cannot do anything, Eddie! I’m practically a baby bird who doesn’t know how to fly."

"Aw, you poor baby bird, c’mon I will bring you back to your nest. Do you want me to carry you?"

"Hilarious, really. Have you ever considered a career in comedy?" Buck deadpans. 

Eddie snorts but also offers his arm for Buck to grab which has his heart flip-flopping in his chest. 

"C’mon you big baby, it’s only three weeks, they will fly by," he snickers. 

"Have I ever told you how much I hate you?"

"No, because you don’t." Eddie sounding so sure of this, makes Buck preen quietly. Without another word, Eddie begins to steer them in the direction of the exit. 

As soon as they’re situated in the car and Buck has typed out a message to the extended 118 family group chat that he’s fine but on sick leave for three weeks minimum – yes he also sends a sticker of a pouting baby animal – he turns his attention back to Eddie. 

"On our way back to the station, can we stop at the pharmacy? I need to get my prescription because the nurses only gave me a low dose of painkillers to see if I get dizzy because of my head. Or do you have to finish the shift? I’m sorry, of course you do. I don’t even know what time it is. Did Bobby say anything? I can always just get it myself, once we’re back. We did drive separately this morning, so I need to get my car anyway," he rambles, which doesn’t really help his headache at all but well. He’s getting his painkillers soon enough. 

"No."

"What do you mean, no? Eddie, I need the meds, I barely have anything left at the loft. Shit, I also need groceries. My fridge is basically a fancy wasteland."

"No, we’re not going back to the station and we don’t have to stop at a pharmacy or the grocery store."

"Okay, but I need –"

"You don’t need anything seeing as you are not going back to your loft. At least not today."

"I’m not?"

Eddie heaves a sigh before he quickly glances over to Buck. "Buck. You said it yourself not more than fifteen minutes ago. You’re practically a baby bird and your dominant hand is out of commission for the next few weeks. Explain to me how you are going to drive a car, clean, shower, cook, put clothes on…do you want me to continue? Because I sure as hell can."

"I – uh"

"Exactly. You’re coming home with me." Eddie says matter-of-factly and before Buck can even open his mouth to protest, he just continues speaking. "Don’t even try to argue. Chris is so excited to have you home and the both of us will take care of you. And besides, it’s not the first time you temporarily moved in with us."

Yeah, but every single time it gets harder to leave again. Temporarily is the problem. I want forever. Buck thinks to himself bitterly. 

Buck is quiet for a moment but when Eddie stops at a red light he turns back to him and gives him one of his Eddie looks that he just cannot say no to. He frequently loses against Chris and his pouts but Eddie’s puppy eyes are a deadly weapon. 

"Fine. I would love to come home with you. Thank you, Eddie."

A pleased smile lights up Eddie’s face as he nods. "Of course. Oh, and we won’t have to stop at the pharmacy or the grocery store. I called Maddie while you were in with the doctors and she will get the meds and bring them over later. Jee has requested to make the sling pretty, I heard something about bows and stickers. Bobby will bring around some dinner after shift. And yes he told me I didn’t have to come back in, he called for cover for the both of us. So, stop worrying, that will only make your headache worse."

Buck’s heart flutters over Eddie taking care of everything. Taking care of Buck. 

Yeah, he’s so in love it hurts. Even more than his head. Or his stupid fucking elbow. 

◦◦◦

It turns out his elbow can hurt more than he thought possible. But in ways he didn’t really see coming. Like at all. 

Because Eddie was right. Buck is unable to drive a car, clean, shower, cook, or put clothes on. Of course, Eddie has been incredibly helpful with all of that. He's an expert at taking care of Buck. Even though he hates driving around, Eddie has taken over any and all car duties. He’s also been helping Buck with taking showers and putting on clothes while also cooking most of their meals with Buck’s supervision (if Bobby doesn’t send Eddie home with leftovers that can feed an army that is). So technically, Buck should be fine with just resting and letting his arm heal.  

But there is one thing he did not take into account when he got his three weeks of sling time prescribed and with that three weeks at the Diaz house. There is one thing he did not think about when he learned that his dominant hand would be out of commission for just as many weeks. 

Because, yes, he needs his dominant hand for stuff like writing, driving, or working his job. 

But he also needs it for another crucial thing that is usually easy as breathing and a thing he routinely needs to do to let off some steam. 

He also needs his hand to jerk off. 

Buck is screwed. And unfortunately not in the way he wants to be. Which is a problem in itself.

He stares at his reflection in the bathroom mirror, the condensation of the shower fogging up the glass and distorting his face. 

Literally, how did he not think about that? How did he forget that he would be unable to get off for weeks and weeks on end? How did he forget he would be stuck with his dreams and fantasies and thoughts and would have no fucking chance of getting his sweet release? He’s not twenty anymore, coming without any help is kinda not in the cards any longer. What the fuck is he supposed to do?

This is the end of the world. That’s it. He’s going to die. 

He knows how fucking dramatic and ridiculous he sounds but man. 

It also doesn’t fucking help that he currently lives with his walking wet dream. With the love of his life. With the one person he wants more than anything but cannot have at all. 

And said person is doing everything for him. Being all helpful and gentle. Going out of his way to assist him. Changing his routine to accommodate Buck.

Literally changing his clothes for him. Undressing him. Showering him. Tending to him. Taking care of him. 

Fucking hell, acts of service get Buck going like nothing else. And Eddie looks so fucking pretty while doing it. Fuck, fuck, fuck. 

This is torture. 

Why did the universe give him the most considerate, soft, gentle, protective, and caring best friend, who is also hot as hell, gorgeous, and out of this world beautiful? 

Buck never stood a fucking chance.

Of course he would go and fall in love with this wonderful, wonderful man. Of course, he went and fell harder than ever before for his best friend. His straight best friend. And of course, he would also have to be extremely turned on by whatever said best friend is doing. 

Over the years of unrequited feelings and close proximity, Buck has learned to suppress the lust and desire to a point where it is just a side note in the story of their friendship overruled by the need to keep Eddie Diaz in his life. 

Buck is dealing fine, alright?

At least, he usually is. 

However, it turns out that having Eddie Diaz tend to your every need and check all your love language boxes by just being Eddie can turn your life into a literal mine field.

Because Buck wants more. Because Eddie is not tending to his every need. And Buck wants him to do just that. Desperately.

Buck is losing his fucking mind. 

In the six years of knowing Eddie, Buck has gotten used to mindless touches, a hand on his shoulder, a gentle squeeze to his elbow, or the occasional hug and usually he welcomes those touches, craves them even. 

But now? 

Now, every single touch feels like adding fuel to a fire that is slowly burning Buck from within. With every brush of Eddie’s skin against his, the burning need to get closer to him, to grab those strong and capable hands and put them exactly where he wants them, grows infinitely. 

And there is no chance of finding some relief, of putting out the flames that burn through his veins, from his heart to his cock. Because he cannot jerk off. 

If he was at his loft, he would have a selection of toys that would definitely make the whole situation easier but well. He is not there. And he also cannot get there because he cannot drive. 

Has he mentioned that he is losing his mind? 

It is now the end of week two of his recovery and even though the pain is almost gone, Eddie doesn’t even let him take the stupid sling off to sleep. If it wasn’t so fucking infuriating it would be hot how closely Eddie follows the recovery plan even though Buck is more than capable of making his own decisions. 

He just wants to get his hand around his dick and cum. It’s been almost three weeks since the last time he got off, long shifts and a weirdly busy schedule having left him exhausted and not in the mood and now this. Now he really fucking wishes he would have taken a little time to himself, even if it was just a quick little thing during a morning shower. 

Buck sighs heavily.

A loud knock interrupts his pity party. "Buck? Are you okay in there? If you are not making a sound in the next seven seconds I'm coming in. It has been far too quiet for far too long and I will not have you pass out on my bathroom rug again. Athena will fucking end me –"

"I’m good, Eds. You just helped me shower less than ten minutes ago. I’m fine. No passing out here. I was just a little lost in thought."

"A little? Buck I called your name at least a handful of times and you didn’t react. Sue me for getting a little worried."

Buck can practically hear the eye roll through the closed bathroom door and chuckles weakly. "You can come in. I am dry and ready for my pajamas."

The door clicks open not a second later and Buck is met with Eddie’s soft brown eyes searching his face, surely looking for any signs of pain or dizziness. 

When his eyes flicker down and widen for a moment, Buck suddenly realizes with a start that he must have dropped the towel that was around his waist during his arousal induced mental breakdown. 

He’s standing right in front of Eddie, fully naked. His cheeks heat up in a blush and he swallows harshly. 

"Oh uhm sorry," he stumbles over his words, his thoughts racing so much from the darkness that’s creeping into his favorite shade of brown that he mindlessly tries to grab the navy blue towel with his right hand. 

"Ow, fuck," he curses and cradles the arm against his chest. 

"Buck," Eddie breathes before rushing over and inspecting the elbow. "You idiot. Do you wanna prolong your sick leave? Your arm is still healing, even if you do not want to agree with me and sudden movements like this can ruin all your progress. There’s a reason why you are supposed to wear the sling for at least three weeks. And by doing shit like that you are most certainly getting at least another week. And do we want that?"

"Nu-uh," Buck whines softly. Another week of this torture? I will not make it out alive. 

"That’s what I thought."

Eddie helps him put on his pajamas while he grumbles softly under his breath and Buck knows him well enough to not say anything. 

Later, when Eddie helps Buck lie down in bed and hands him his night time medication he gives him a look. "You wouldn’t be in so much pain again if you didn’t pull that earlier, you know that right?" And before Buck can even attempt to defend himself, Eddie smirks at him while turning towards the door, "you also know that this isn’t the first time I saw you in all your naked glory. You really don’t have to blush about that, Buckley. Good night." With a wink over his shoulder, Eddie closes the door.

Buck just smushes his face into his pillow, groaning to himself. And his stupid fucking dick has the audacity to twitch. 

◦◦◦

A few days later, Buck finds himself alone at the Diaz house. Chris has left this morning for a school trip and will be gone until the end of the week. Eddie has decided to join the others for a drink at their usual bar after finishing a long 12-hour shift. 

Ever since Buck has been on sick leave and stuck at home, Eddie has made it his mission to come straight back home after every shift. Usually, Buck would be pleased as a punch about it but his situation has gotten increasingly dire. 

Just yesterday, Eddie decided to relocate his workout to the backyard since he felt bad for leaving Buck alone while he’s at the gym.

Which was a nice thought in theory. In practice, it was Buck’s personal hell.

Because Eddie working out in the backyard means miles and miles of naked, golden brown skin that is glistening with sweat, while the sounds of heavy breathing and grunting paint a picture Buck’s dick likes a little too well. 

Buck almost choked on a sip of coffee while looking out of the kitchen window as a flash of arousal shot through his body. He almost lost the grip on the mug, just barely saving himself from making a mess and burning himself with the hot liquid. 

He knows how fucking hot Eddie looks while working out, alright? It’s nothing new to him. But battling the ever growing need to get off and missing his right hand dearly makes a sweaty and strong Eddie positively lethal. Add the muscles and visible veins on top of it and you have Buck on the fucking floor. 

It took everything in him to turn the hell away and not ogle his best friend through the window like a fucking freak. 

Still, the following night his dreams were filled with him tracing those pretty muscles and planes of gorgeous golden skin with his tongue and Eddie telling him what a good boy he is. 

So, being alone for the day was absolutely needed. 

Having those kind of dreams about Eddie is nothing new for Buck. What is though, is the fact that he has been sharing a bed with his best friend ever since he got injured and Eddie prohibited Buck from sleeping on the couch. And since Buck was not kicking Eddie out of his own bedroom for weeks on end, Eddie decided they could just share. 

It’s no big deal, Buck. We’re just sleeping. 

And it all was fun and games until Buck has been waking up with morning wood every day for the past week and an increasing number of wet dreams he can’t do anything about. 

Has he mentioned that he is losing his fucking mind? 

That is why he is currently pacing through the dark backyard, trying to calm himself down and walk off some of the restless energy that is cursing through his body. He feels pent up to a point where he is certain he won't be able to fall asleep any time soon and he really needs to be asleep before Eddie comes home. For the sole reason of how he will not be able to keep his distance when he sees a slightly disheveled and tipsy Eddie in his tight black jeans and the maroon v-neck he put on this morning. 

"Buck? What are you doing out here?" Eddie’s confused voice comes from the open backyard door. 

Has he been outside this long? So much for going to sleep before he comes back home. Great. Good job, Buckley. 

"I – uhm, going for a walk?"

"Are you asking me if you’re going for a walk in my backyard?" His voice a little mocking and a lot amused. He must be tipsy, right? 

"No, I mean I uh just needed some fresh air before bed," he replies as he walks back over to the house, "didn’t expect you back so soon."

"Yeah, I had a few drinks but Ravi was talking too much about frolf and I missed you," Eddie shrugs, looking at him softly. 

Buck’s heart flips dangerously at that and he clears his throat. “What the hell is frolf?” He asks instead of doing what he really wants – crowding Eddie against the outside wall and kissing him senseless. 

Eddie lets out a snort. "I have no fucking idea. But anyway here I am and that’s clearly a good thing seeing as you are wandering around in the cold and you are not wearing your sling, mister." He crosses his arms and looks at him with the most dad look Buck has ever seen. 

Oh, right. 

"It was itchy," he mumbles. 

"Aw is it," he shakes his head, "poor baby. Unfortunately, I am gonna put it back on you because you know it’s bad to take it off."

Yeah, he’s clearly tipsy. But damn, it’s still hot as fuck how he reprimands me. A fizz of arousal bubbles up in his stomach. Jesus. 

Knowing that Eddie will not take any protest, Buck follows him back inside and lets him put the stupid sling back on after helping him change into a fresh pair of pj’s. Eddie’s warm hands and the remnants of his good cologne have Buck’s mind reeling once more, his own hands getting sweaty and his blood rushing south. He bites his lip harshly to hold back the little whimper sitting right on the tip of his tongue. 

He holds his breath until Eddie is done with his sling and announces that he is going to take a quick shower to get the day off of him. As soon as he’s left the room, Buck groans loudly and falls down on his side of the bed. 

It’s getting harder and harder for him to keep his calm, pun very much intended, and he has no idea how many I’m fine’s he has left in him. 

His dick twitches at the thought of how good Eddie looked and how fucking delectable he smelled. How the hell is he supposed to settle down now? 

When Eddie comes back into the room and joins him in bed, Buck is still restless and trying his hardest to calm the fuck down. He’s close to tears with how hard he tries to fall asleep. 

A frustrated groan is falling from his lips and he hopes Eddie just falls asleep before realizing something is wrong with Buck. He prays the alcohol makes him sleepy enough to ignore Buck all together. 

No such luck. "What’s up with you?"

"I’m fine."

"You’re clearly not."

"It’s nothing, Eddie." His voice catches in his throat, the whine unmistakable. 

"You wanna try that again?"

Buck keeps staring at the dark ceiling as he tries to find some kind of excuse to get Eddie off of his back. 

"I – I guess I’m just a little restless today." Not a lie. 

"If you needed company, you should have called me and I would have come home."

"No!" Buck yelps before he can stop himself. Eddie’s eyes go wide at the tone. "I mean, I uhm," he cringes – hating himself just a little for ruining everything by being horny. 

"Buck, if you rather go and stay with Maddie –"

"No!" He calls again. He absolutely does not want to stay at Maddie’s. Eddie will be too far away. And he has a near constant boner. This is absolutely not gonna happen. 

"You’re giving me some mixed signals here, bud."

Buck hides his face in his good hand and groans loudly. He needs those three weeks to be over now. 

"You know you can talk to me, right?"

"Not about this. But I’m good!"

"This is not as reassuring as you think it is. C’mon Buck, out with it."

"Ugh, I’m pent up!" He groans through his fingers. 

Eddie makes a confused noise, "Buck, I don’t –"

"Fucking hell, Eddie, I’m horny and I can't do anything about it because my hand is useless and I have no way to get off and I need to get off so fucking bad," he heaves at the end, as a blush heats up his cheeks and travels down his chest. Fuck, this was not supposed to happen. 

"Oh."

"Yeah, oh," he laughs humorlessly. 

"So you’re restless and turned on. All the time?"

"All the fucking time." No need to hide it anymore. 

“That’s hard,” Eddie muses. 

"Eddie, I swear to fucking God," Buck snaps, still hidden behind his hand. He can practically hear the shit-eating grin on his best friend’s face. 

"Alright alright, no need to get the claws out," Eddie placates, but he’s obviously still suppressing a laugh. 

"I’m going to sleep now. Great chat, thanks," Buck deadpans and tries to roll over. He turns off the lamp on his bedside table and hopes Eddie is tipsy enough that he won’t remember any of that conversation in the morning. 

"You know –" Eddie starts again, a little hiccup interrupting his words, which cute, "I could always help with that."

And what?

"What."

"What what? If you need to get off I can help, it’s no big deal."

Buck snaps his head back to Eddie, who’s bathed in the soft light of his own lamp, his eyes already resting on Buck. 

"Not a big deal?"

"Yeah," Eddie shrugs, an easy smile on his face. 

"You cannot be serious."

"Pretty sure I am."

Oh god, he’s actually drunker than Buck thought, because what the fuck?

"Eddie."

"Buck."

"I don’t even know what to say right now." Buck’s stomach swoops at the thought alone and he has to pinch the skin of his thigh to stop the images from overwhelming him. His fucking dick, of course, is so on board with that. And no. He cannot even take this into consideration. 

"You could say yes?"

Eddie is drunk. That’s the only logical conclusion.

"You’re drunk."

"Am not."

Buck would really like to die right now. Or fall into another coma. All just to get away from this conversation and the images out of his head. 

This needs to stop. Now. 

"Good night, Eddie." Buck turns back around, quietly begging the world to give him a fucking break. He has never hated alcohol as much as he does at this very moment. 

"I’m just saying," Eddie murmurs before lying down himself and clicking off the light, "let me know if you ever need a hand."

Buck chokes on his next breath and really fucking wishes life was not so goddamn fucking unfair. 

◦◦◦

Buck has never dreaded the end of a shift as much as he does today. Eddie left for work this morning in a rush, the alcohol from the night before obviously making his morning routine a little more difficult than usual. Buck himself didn’t move a muscle and hoped that his best friend thought he was still asleep. 

It’s just … he couldn’t even think about acting normal after the conversation they had last night. Especially not after Eddie’s offer. Buck is still certain Eddie must have been drunker than he let on because even entertaining the thought of the offer being somewhat real sends Buck into cardiac arrest. 

Because here’s the thing. Buck and Eddie might be best friends and know each other better than anyone else on this planet but there is one thing they have never really talked about. Their sex lives. Eddie has never steered their conversations in said direction and so Buck just followed suit. Of course, Eddie knows about the Buck 1.0 stuff and Buck has heard the stories about how Eddie and Shannon have accidentally fallen into bed on more than one occasion but that’s it. 

They just don’t go there. Buck’s fantasies of what he would like to do to Eddie and even more importantly what he wants Eddie to do to him are his best kept secret. Still, Buck wouldn’t know if Eddie would even like any of it – even if he was anything other than straight. Because they do not talk about that stuff. 

So the absolute nonchalance in Eddie’s voice last night threw him for a fucking loop. It almost sounded like Eddie was genuinely offering. He just casually offered to put his hand on Buck’s dick and get him off. Just like he offered to tie Buck’s shoes for him or help him open the milk carton for his coffee.

When Buck first woke up this morning, he was so sure all of this was just a mass hallucination brought on by the pain meds Eddie has been forcing him to take for his arm. 

Still, he couldn’t face his best friend this morning and even now a little over 12 hours later, with Eddie about to come home from work, Buck still has no clue how to fucking act. 

If he let his dick decide, he would jump Eddie’s bones the second he came through the door and demand that he put his hand to work. 

Because he has been hard all fucking day. His every thought has been filled with the images of Eddie finally giving him what he so desperately wants, what he needs. He has been trying, trying, trying to erase these thoughts but to no avail.

He wants Eddie so badly it makes him stupid. And that scares him to no end. If Eddie offers again, he is not sure he’ll have the strength to say no. But he has to. Eddie is his best friend.

Sure, he might love Buck but all of that love is simply platonic and Buck’s heart doesn’t understand the slightly inconvenient difference. 

That’s how he finds himself in bed at 8 o’clock on a Tuesday night, hoping once again that he will be asleep – or at least pretending to be – before Eddie comes home. 

Of course, when you try really hard to fall asleep, it never fucking works. It also doesn’t help that Buck has been stuck at home for the better part of two weeks and did nothing except for rest and sleep, so he is not tired in the slightest. On top of it all, the now ever-present arousal, that is thrumming through his veins, keeps his body awake like a live wire.

He’s still staring at the dark ceiling of their bedroom when Eddie unlocks the front door half an hour later. 

"Have a good night, mijo. Enjoy the observatory tomorrow, I bet Buck can’t wait to hear all about it! … He’s not out here, he might be in the bathroom. … Yes, I let him know. Talk to you later. Love you, Chris. Bye!"

Buck pouts a little at hearing Eddie on the phone to Chris and missing out on getting to talk to him as well. That’s what you get for losing your mind over something so stupid. 

Before he has a chance to grab his own phone and at least shoot Chris a good night text he hears Eddie’s voice again. 

"Buck?"

He tries to burrow further under the covers when Eddie steps into the room. "Buck? You okay?" He whispers, obviously not wanting to disturb him if he’s already sleeping. He’s so considerate, damn.

Buck groans, giving up his pretense. 

Immediately, Eddie rushes over to his side and kneels down beside the bed. "Hey, what’s wrong?"

"Can’t sleep," Buck sighs while struggling to move into a more comfortable position. Eddie swoops in to fluff up the pillows and rearrange them before pushing him back down gently. 

He perches himself on the edge of the bed, his hand landing on Buck’s thigh. A small noise makes its way up his throat at the touch, Eddie’s hand warm even through the fabric of the duvet. 

"Is your pain worse today? Did you take the pain meds I put next to the coffee maker for you? I know I already left this morning but I thought you’d see them –"

"No, it’s uhm – not that," Buck cringes. He really, really doesn’t want to have that conversation again but he also doesn’t want to worry Eddie more than he already is. 

Eddie’s brows furrow. "What is it then?"

Before Buck can even try to find an excuse, a smirk erases the worried look on Eddie’s face. "I see."

Buck whines again but this time of embarrassment. He would really like the floor to swallow him right about now. 

"My offer still stands by the way."

Buck freezes, his heart skipping a beat or two. "You remember that?"

"Why wouldn’t I?" Eddie sounds amused. 

"You were drunk?" Buck asks weakly, his cheeks heating up in a hot flush.

"I was barely tipsy, c’mon Buck you know that."

"But – but"

"Look at me," Eddie says softly and grabs Buck’s good arm to make sure he has his full attention. Buck swallows thickly and chances a glance up towards his best friend’s face. He finds it open and warm, a little something in his eyes he cannot pinpoint. "What’s a little handjob between best friends anyway?" He shrugs. 

Buck chokes on his next breath, staring at Eddie dumbly. "Eddie – I uhm I don’t – what?"

"You are clearly stressing yourself out more than you should in your current situation. And you said it yourself; you’re pent up to a point where you cannot settle down which will just prolong the whole healing process and therefore also you going back to using your arm normally. I don’t see where the problem with me helping you out is." The fucking nonchalance is back. Does Eddie even hear himself? 

How can Eddie just say stuff like this? Be so fucking unbothered by it all? When this is everything Buck has wanted for the better part of six years?

He swallows again, his throat dry and itchy. "A-are you sure? You really don’t have to do that. Y-you said it yourself. We’re best friends after all and uhm this is like so crossing a line."

"What line? I’m just lending you a hand, literally. It doesn’t have to mean anything. You need to let off some steam and I have two perfectly fine hands. So, what’s the harm in helping you?"

And the thing is Eddie does have fine hands. Nice hands. Pretty hands. Sexy. Strong. With long fingers. The longest Buck has ever seen. They would wrap around him so easily. Would feel so nice gripping his hot, hard cock. Would go in so deep. Would reach his prostate so easily. Buck always has to strain himself to get to his spot. Eddie wouldn’t have to. It’d be a piece of cake for him. Fuck. Buck is instantly hard.

His dick definitely wants the help. 

"Buck? You’re with me?" The amusement is back in his voice. 

A pained whimper escapes his lips. 

"You good? Did the meds stop working? Do you want me to –"

"Yes."

"Yes?" Eddie asks confused for a second before his eyes light up, the smirk back on his lips. "You want me to get you off?"

Yes, yes, he wants. Nothing matters anymore. Except for Eddie’s hands. 

"Yes. Please. I need it. Eddie, please." His voice is small, needy. Eddie’s whole demeanor changes at once. 

His face softens. But his eyes? His eyes turn dark and heavy. Christ. 

"Didn’t know you could be so polite, Buck. Well, how could I say no to that?"

"Please," Buck whispers again, his eyes focused on Eddie’s hand that is still on his thigh. 

"What do you want, Buck?"

"Your hand."

"My hand?" Buck just nods. "Where?"

Buck feels another whine bubble up; the desperation steadily growing. "You know where, Eddie."

"Need you to tell me exactly what you want, so I can help you exactly how you need."

"Want your hands on me. Please, touch me, Eddie."

"Now, that’s a good boy." Buck’s eyes snap back up to Eddie’s face, the shock overruled by the moan that he can’t suppress any longer. 

Every last sense of reason flies out of the fucking window. A good boy? Fuck, fuck, fuck. Eddie will be the fucking death of him. 

"Please," he whispers again. 

Eddie hums as his thumb slowly begins to stroke over Buck’s thigh. "C’mon, sit up, bud."

Buck scrambles up into a sitting position, leaning against the headboard. A soft smile appears on Eddie’s beautiful face. He slowly pulls away the duvet, uncovering Buck’s lap and legs. The bulge in his sweatpants is undeniable. 

"Aw, look at you. You’re so hard, Buck," Eddie teases softly, pulling another whine out of him. 

With a last squeeze to his thigh, Eddie gets up and moves around the bed to his own side. He sits back down, mirroring the way Buck is leaning against the headboard. 

Buck swallows harshly as the reality of the situation slams into him. "Y-you really don’t have to –"

"Do you trust me?" Eddie interrupts him, his hand stroking along Buck’s injured arm, the touch feather light.

"Y-yes, of course I do, Eds."

"Then let me help you. Lean back and enjoy. Let me make you feel good, alright?" His voice drops into a whisper, soft and enticing. Buck is gone. 

"Alright."

Buck’s eyes zero in on Eddie’s hand once more and watches as it slowly trails down his arm, stops on his tummy for a second making his breath hitch, before it wanders further down to its ultimate destination. It lands on Buck’s hip for a moment, the warmth seeping through the worn fabric of the sweats.

Eddie’s hand is fucking huge. And sure, Buck knew that. Knows it. Obsesses over it. But it has never been as clear as it is now. Eddie could quite literally choke him with one hand and if that isn’t a fantasy Buck won’t ever be able to let go of. 

"You ready?"

He just nods his head, still staring at the other’s hand, following every twitch and miniscule movement. His muscles tense in anticipation. 

"I’m gonna touch you now." Eddie informs him before he puts his hand on Buck’s pulsing erection. 

The touch is barely there and yet the best thing Buck has ever felt in his life. "Fuck –" he moans helplessly as his hips move up into the press of Eddie’s hand, searching for the much needed friction. 

"Is that what you wanted, bud?"

Buck whimpers, the touch nowhere near enough but still so good. "More, please."

"More what?"

"Touch me."

"I am."

And Christ who would have thought that Eddie is such a fucking tease in bed? 

"Not enough. Please, I-I want, Eddie, I-I need –" he babbles, frustration beginning to form as the need to finally come grows. 

"I got you." The light touch turns burning when Eddie takes hold of Buck’s cock. Buck keens high in the back of his throat at the feeling of someone else touching him there. It’s been a while. And it’s Eddie. 

"Oh my God," he chokes, the sensation already so good. It gets even better when Eddie starts to move his hand gently, the friction of the fabric between them already better than Buck’s own hand has ever felt. 

"Is that what you wanted?" Eddie murmurs again, his voice a little hoarse. 

"Yes, yes, yes, touch me, please, make me come, Eddie, I need you."

"I’m here, Buck. Gonna make you feel so good, don’t you worry. I want to feel your dick in my hand, want to feel how soft your skin is. Can I?"

Buck is certain he must have fallen into an alternate universe because this cannot be his life. Eddie, the love of his life, wants to feel his cock in his hands? At the thought a string of precome bubbles up, wetting his pants. A dark spot begins to form. 

"I’ll take that as a yes," he chuckles and immediately puts his hand quite literally down Buck’s pants. 

If the first touch was glorious, the sensation of Eddie’s hand on the hot skin of his bulging dick is an epiphany. And Buck never wants to miss this feeling ever again. 

He closes his eyes, another low moan on his lips as he presses his hips up harder.

Eddie is quick to build up a steady rhythm, his left hand moving around Buck’s shoulders to get closer to him. 

"Feels so good, Eds, yes yes faster, ‘m close already," he whines, his head dropping on Eddie’s shoulder by accident. 

"Yes, Buck. That’s it, let go. You deserve to feel good."

"Eddie, I’m gonna come I –"

"Do it, Buck," and with another harsh squeeze to his base, Buck is coming right in his pants. He’s moaning loudly, swear words interlaced as he hides his face in Eddie’s neck. "That’s it, bud. You really needed that, didn’t you?" He laughs gently into Buck’s ear before pressing his face into Buck’s tousled curls. If he didn’t know better, Buck would swear Eddie just pressed a kiss right there. But that’s fucking ridiculous. This was purely platonic. 

"I guess I did," he replies, his cheeks heating up with an embarrassed flush but the relief of finally losing some of the tension and fire in his veins makes it worth it. 

Still. Eddie just got him off. He just had his hand on Buck’s cock. What the fuck. 

"Thank you," he mumbles into Eddie’s warm neck, making the other chuckle again. 

"No problem, Buck. Do you feel better?"

And yes, he does. To a point where he actually feels sleepy, now that the peak of sexual frustration has ebbed a little. 

"Yes, sleepy," he breathes. 

He doesn’t hear Eddie’s reply as he goes boneless in the next second, falling asleep in the comfort of his best friend’s arms. 

◦◦◦

Buck wakes to a warmth that’s running syrupy slow through his body. Something strong and heavy is wrapped securely around his waist and his nose is pressed into something warm and soft that smells like sleep and home. 

The last remnants of the delicious dream he just had are lingering in his mind and the bodily reaction of dream Buck must have spilled over into reality. 

Dream Buck was experiencing a very exciting kind of massage from a very eager dream Eddie that soon moved on to a myriad of kisses all over his body and ended in a beautifully sloppy and extremely enthusiastic rim job by an equally enthusiastic Eddie. 

Fuck. 

Buck whimpers softly at the memory of how real the sensation felt and he instantly misses the hot ecstasy his dream self got to experience. He quickly realises he is also hard. Painfully so. 

Eddie’s work from last night did nothing to soothe the desire that is burning in Buck’s veins. Quite the opposite; it made it worse. Now that Buck knows how fucking good Eddie’s hands feel on him, he never ever wants to go without his touch again. 

Actually, he wants even more. His dream ignited a need he usually tries to keep hidden in a small box in the back of his mind, closed and locked so he can function like a semi normal person around his best friend. 

But knowing what he knows now and the images of his dream leave him reeling for more. His hips begin to twitch helplessly, looking for friction. 

Somehow he finds exactly what he’s looking for as he rocks his hips forward. Something firm and solid. Something good. 

A breathy moan escapes his lips as he tries to fall asleep again and go back to the realms of dreaming where Eddie is touching him not just platonically. 

He feels the vibration first before he registers the quiet laugh in the still morning air. His body freezes mid-thrust and he keeps his eyes closed as he tries to get his bearings. 

With a start he realises that the warmth around his waist is a strong arm that’s holding him in place where he is tucked into a neck that smells faintly of sweat and sleep. One of his legs is nestled between a pair of deliciously strong thighs while his dick is pressed against the hard outline of a hip. 

He is practically lying on top of Eddie. And Eddie is keeping him tucked right there. Jesus. He must be able to feel how fucking hard and desperate Buck is. Of course, he does. He laughed. 

Buck groans loudly, his cheeks beginning to burn. 

"Well, good morning to you too, bud," Eddie murmurs, his arm tightening around Buck’s waist. The desire in his body is battling with the sheer embarrassment of the situation. Mind against dick or however the saying goes.

When he feels Eddie’s thumb start to draw little patterns on his exposed hipbone, Buck’s resolve to move – which was minimal at best anyway – melts away. His hip twitches again at the soft tickle which effectively rubs Buck’s dick against Eddie’s thigh once more. 

"Oh," Buck breathes involuntarily and he thrusts against the solid muscle again. 

"Someone’s eager this morning, looks like you really enjoyed yourself last night," Eddie chuckles, his tone teasing but still fond.

Buck swallows harshly, pretty sure he’s losing his mind for real now. "Please," he whispers, the shame of being needy flying out of the window the moment he feels Eddie’s other hand crawling over his stomach and softly cupping his bulge through the sleep shorts Eddie must have put on him after he passed out last night. 

"Still so polite for me. Knew you needed my hand again the minute I woke up to your helpless little twitches against my leg, humping me all desperate in your sleep. I bet last night only helped the tiniest bit, didn’t it?"

Buck has no fucking idea where this version of Eddie has been all his life but he’s eating up every little crumb he’s throwing at him. It‘s doing things to him. He just nods a little into the crook of Eddie’s neck, scared that he won‘t be able to hold himself back from licking and biting the pretty skin there once he opens his mouth.

"I can imagine. Don‘t you worry your pretty little head though, I have a little time before I need to go to work to give you another hand."

"Yes."

"Gonna get some of that tension out of you, should be enough to tie you over till I‘m back from my 24 tomorrow, alright?"

"Please Eddie, I need it, need your hand, need you —"

"I know you do," Eddie‘s tone is soft and warm, soothing Buck‘s frazzled mind. "C‘mon, on your back –"

"No."

"No? Have you changed your mind?" Eddie tries to catch Buck’s eyes, but he just nuzzles further into his neck; the need to be close, to stay in this cocoon of warm safety is suddenly the most important thing. 

"Nu-uh," he whines, almost, "wanna stay like this, please."

Eddie chokes on a little noise Buck cannot comprehend in his current state of mind and just shuffles closer to his best friend’s body. "Alright, of course you can stay here, bud. Let me push your pants down a little, yeah?"

"Hm"

Getting his pants down turns out to be quite difficult in this position but, of course, Eddie manages to free Buck’s already leaking cock out of his shorts. 

A small wondrous breath leaves Eddie as he swipes his thumb over the glistening tip, his finger coming away dripping wet with precum. "You’re so wet already, Buck. Look at you. So, so gorgeous. Is that all for me?"

"It is. Please, touch me," he whispers, licking his lips and turning his head so he can watch what Eddie is doing down there. 

Just as Eddie wraps his hand around Buck, his alarm goes off. Buck’s moan turns into a distressed whine, knowing that Eddie has to get up and leave him alone for the next 24 hours. 

Eddie turns away from him to silence his phone, the hand that was wrapped around Buck’s waist finding its way into Buck’s curls and scratching his scalp soothingly. 

"We gotta make this quick, bud. Do you think you can come for me in the next sixty seconds?"

Buck stares at Eddie, his eyes big and a little disbelieving. He’s close, but sixty seconds close? He’s not fucking 20 anymore. But he wants to come so badly. Needs to. 

"I can," he nods, pushing his hips forward again. 

"Good –" Eddie breathes, swallows harshly and gets his hand back on Buck’s cock. Unlike the night before, he isn’t building up his pace, he jumps right in with a brutal speed. 

Helpless moans fall out of Buck’s mouth and he feels the tightness in his stomach like a freight train, his orgasm building up quicker than he thought possible. 

He’s getting a little dizzy watching Eddie’s hand fly up and down his dick, working him like his performance is gonna be timed.

"Eds, I’m –" is the only thing he can force out before he comes all over Eddie’s hand, his own stomach, and Eddie’s hip. 

"Knew you could do it, good job," Eddie murmurs in his ear, his clean hand petting Buck’s hip while he cleans the other on his own ruined sleep shirt. 

Buck hums, his cheek warm but the pleasure makes everything soft and hazy. He feels sleep pull at him again. 

Eddie untangles himself with a soft laugh and leaves the bedroom quickly before coming back with a wash cloth. 

Buck’s eyes are drooping already but he feels Eddie’s presence back at his side. "This might be a little cold, bud." He says before cleaning the sticky cum off of Buck’s naked stomach, making sure he’s clean enough to get some more sleep and not feel disgusting upon waking up. 

"Get some more sleep, Buck. I’ll see you tomorrow."

"Thank you, Eds –" he mumbles, his head unconsciously turning into Eddie’s pillow. 

"It’s what best friends are for." Buck smiles softly before he falls into a dreamless and sated sleep.

◦◦◦

The satisfaction Eddie gave him was unfortunately short-lived. By mid-afternoon Buck is back to pacing back and forth between the living room and kitchen trying to not think about how horny he is again. 

It’s like Eddie’s hands have woken up a sleeper agent Buck didn’t know he had living beneath his skin. The desire he had been feeling before he knew how Eddie’s hands felt on him has nothing on the burning need that is running through his system now. 

He desperately needs a distraction but he cannot focus on anything. Ever since waking up around 10 and obediently taking his pain meds and sending Eddie proof of doing so, Buck has actively tried to not think about his best friend and the fact that he won’t be home until the following morning.

And then again, you don’t even know if he is willing to help you again…one time is a small friendly gesture. Two times is already pure good will. But three times? Three times is just an act of charity. Eddie must be pitying you already. 

Buck’s thoughts have been bouncing between arousal, gratitude, and shame all fucking day.

He is so, so grateful for everything Eddie has done for him in the past two weeks but Buck can’t help himself, he wants even more. The guilt is battling the want and Buck is about ready to jump out of his skin. While all of this just happened out of the goodness of Eddie’s heart, Buck takes all of it with greedy little hands and crosses a line in their friendship they have never come close before. 

All of this might be fine, if Buck wasn’t head over heels in love with his straight best friend. If Eddie knew about his feelings, he would have never offered to lend him a hand. 

Realistically, Buck should put an end to this right now. He only has another four days of the sling left and after that he is pretty sure he can be a fully functioning human being again.

So? Go and enjoy Eddie’s generosity as long as you can. Take what he offers. You won’t be getting another chance and Eddie told you he wanted to help. 

His inner voice is making his head spin as the sudden urge to see Eddie grows. Suddenly, this is all he can think about. Seeing Eddie. Having his eyes on him. Feeling his warm hands on him, his touch anywhere on his body. 

Buck grabs his phone from the couch where he dropped it after Maddie made him hang up so she could leave for work. Waking up his screen, he hopes to have a message from Eddie that would give him a little something but unfortunately he’s met with a whole lot of nothing. Even the extended family and 118 work group chats are radio silent meaning that everyone is busy. His fingers twitch to check the others’ location on Find my Friends but that’s not what he wants. 

He wants Eddie, plain and simple. 

A second later, the Uber app is loading. Since he still cannot drive, Maddie being obviously unavailable, and him not wanting to explain to Athena why he needs a ride in her cruiser, he orders a ride to take him. 

That’s how he finds himself walking through the open bay doors of the station about an hour later, a sigh of relief on his lips as he sees the ladder truck and ambulance both inside. Something calm and safe quiets down the anticipation of seeing Eddie again. 

The team must be in the bunk rooms or the loft since he can only make out Garrett and Michaelson working out in the gym.

He desperately hopes Eddie isn’t sleeping. Waking him up because Buck can’t keep his arousal down would definitely be a workplace violation. He also doesn’t want to explain what he is doing here to anyone but Eddie. 

"Buck? What are you doing here?" Bobby’s voice makes his head whip towards the lofted area. So much for that. 

"Buck’s here?" "Isn’t he on sick leave for another week?" "Man, imagine coming into work when you don’t have to –" Buck hears Chim, Hen, and Ravi talking over each other in response to Bobby acknowledging his presence. 

"I was in the neighborhood and thought I should check on you guys?" Buck tries to sound convincing but fails by a mile. Bobby is kind enough to not call him out on his bullshit, just beckons him up the stairs. 

He waits for Buck to take the last step and grabs his uninjured elbow gently. "We missed you too," he murmurs with a knowing smile on his face and pushes him in the direction of the dining table where the others are apparently just about to start eating dinner. "You’re just in time for food. Sit down and eat with us, yeah?"

A smile blooms on Buck’s face, the original reason for his visit momentarily forgotten, as he walks over to the others.

"Hi guys," he says, looking around the table, quietly checking that everyone is safe and sound. 

Chim and Ravi wave at him, mouths already occupied by their food. Hen smiles softly at him, giving him a small once over, undoubtedly itching to check his injury again. "Hi Buck, it’s good to see you."

"It’s good to see you too."

"You’re in luck, Bobby made one of your favorites and now Eddie doesn’t even have to fight anyone to bring you home some leftovers," she continues with a twinkle in her eyes that makes Buck blush softly. 

Ignoring the butterflies in his belly, he looks at the dishes and finds not only a large casserole dish with lasagna but also a heaping portion of tagliatelle with Bobby’s homemade spinach pesto. "You mean both of my favorites, Henrietta!"

"You’re lucky, you’re injured, Buckley," Hen scoffs at him, her fork raised threateningly. "Sit your ass down before I’m throwing you back to the curb."

Ravi snorts into his glass of water while Chim and Bobby laugh at Buck’s pout. He ignores them and rounds the table to where the seat next to Eddie’s is unoccupied – his seat. He pulls the chair out and plops down while the others turn back to their plates. Chim asks Ravi about one of his new listings and the conversation turns toward him. 

When Buck lifts his head again, his eyes immediately find Eddie’s warm gaze. A pleased shiver runs through him when he realizes Eddie’s attention lies fully on him. "Hey," he whispers quietly, shuffling his chair closer to his best friend. The longing from earlier back in full force. Eddie is here and he needs his hands on him right now. 

"Hey," he says back, his smile soft and gentle. "What are you doing here? You’re supposed to be resting."

"It doesn’t even hurt anymore and I’m only four days out from getting rid of the sling –"

Eddie gives him a look. "You mean four days away from going to the doctors again and letting them check whether your arm is healed enough to lose the sling."

"Eddie," Buck whines, going for annoyed but sounding entirely too pathetic. 

"Buck."

"Fine. I missed you," he mumbles, throwing a glance around the table but the others are still engrossed in Ravi’s landlord tales. 

"You could have just called or facetimed me, except for one big call shift’s been not too bad, we mainly just did maintenance stuff."

Under normal circumstances Buck could have done that – this is not a normal circumstance though. And he needs Eddie to understand that without telling the whole fucking station that he is about ready to pop another boner while also going sheer crazy without Eddie’s hands on his body. 

"Was lonely," he adds and looks up through his eyelashes to Eddie’s face and he sees the exact moment his best friend seems to catch the meaning behind Buck’s words. His gentle smile turns a little wicked which sends sparks of arousal all over Buck’s body. 

"Well in that case, I’m glad you came," he murmurs under his breath as Buck’s breath goes a little uneven. Louder, he continues, "let’s get some food in you. Do you want a bit of both, or one thing now and the other later at home?"

"Uhm, both please," he answers slowly, his brain a little fuzzy with desire. 

Eddie nods, another smile playing on his lips as he fixes him a plate. He thinks the moment is over when Eddie joins the conversation and asks Chim something about the bathroom renovation he and Maddie are planning to do. Honestly, Buck is happy enough to sit next to Eddie and have the other’s arm brush his own from time to time. And the food is delicious of course. He hadn’t realized how hungry he was until now, so he happily digs in and tries to listen as Ravi gives Chim some recommendations for tiles?

"I can give you the number of the guy who did Pepa’s bathroom last month –" Eddie offers before taking his next bite.

Buck is about to comment on how nice the job turned out when he stops in tracks. Because there is something on his thigh. 

There is a hand on his thigh. 

Eddie’s hand is on his thigh. 

What the fuck?

His head whips around to Eddie on his left, certain everyone would immediately comment on Eddie touching Buck like that but Eddie isn’t even looking at him. He’s still fully focused on the conversation going on, apparently giving his opinion on color schemes for fucking bathrooms. He literally is the picture of nonchalance. 

While he is touching Buck’s thigh? 

Buck looks around the table unsure how to fucking react and willing his dick not to go full-mast in the middle of the fire station. But the others do not pay him any attention.

This is fine. Everything is fine. He’s just giving you a little brotherly comfort. He knows you’re needy right now. And he offered to lend you a hand. Apparently this isn’t just exclusive to touching your dick at home. Apparently, it also includes thigh touching under the dining table at work. 

Buck takes a subtle breath, trying to calm the fuck down and keep eating. He takes another bite and struggles to listen to what Hen is currently saying but the fuzziness is coming back full force. 

His body unconsciously sways closer to Eddie, his thigh pushing against the warmth of Eddie’s palm. It feels nice. Warm and comfortable. Safe. Like he belongs. Like Eddie wants him to know that he’s here. 

Just as he settles into the touch and goes back to his food, Eddie’s grip tightens on his leg, his finger grazing the inseam of his jeans. His thumb sweeps all over the fabric, igniting sparks of electricity all over his body. If this wasn’t enough, he lets his hand travel further up Buck’s thigh, getting closer and closer to the place where Buck so desperately wants him.

Buck’s breath hitches and he tries to hide it behind a bite of food. What he doesn’t expect is for Eddie to go even further. With surprising precision his pinky grazes Buck’s dick that is straining against his zipper quite painfully by now. 

The unexpected touch has him choking on his food, as he starts coughing immediately. On his other side, Hen turns to him and gently rubs his back asking him if he’s okay. The conversation stops for a moment as the others also check on him. 

He feels himself blush as he tries to get his breathing under control, willing the attention away from him and his raging boner. Jesus fucking Christ. 

"I-I’m good, sorry, must have gone down the wrong pipe," he shrugs with his good shoulder. The others chuckle, some more fond than others. 

"That happens when we are a little too eager, right?" Eddie says with a teasing smirk, while handing him a glass of water. Of course, this makes the others laugh even harder.

As soon as the others have turned back to their discussion, Eddie leans in close, his nose grazing the shell of Buck’s ear, making him shiver a little. "You sure you good?"

"Y-yeah"

"Can you do something for me?" Eddie murmurs softly, his hand now back on Buck’s thigh. 

"Yes?"

Eddie chuckles at the quick reply. "Can you be a good boy for me and stay still while finishing your food?" 

Buck bites his lip hard to keep the whimper in and nods once, not sure he can reply with words right now. Good boy? Eddie just asked him to be his good boy again? What. 

If he knew how badly Buck wants to be just that…

"Good, now eat.”

Not a second later, Eddie is back in his own seat and jumps right back into the conversation, asking Bobby something Buck really cannot grasp right now. 

Eddie’s hand begins its ministrations again, his pinky soon back near the bulge in Buck’s jeans. For a second Buck hoped it would be easier to handle the touch after knowing it was coming. Oh, how wrong he was. 

He forces himself to keep eating, trying to sit still. Trying to be good. But it gets increasingly harder – hah – when Eddie moves his hand again and skims all of his fingers over Buck’s cock. Buck is pretty sure his lip is bleeding by now from how hard he’s biting it but he forces himself to keep eating. 

Despite the torture, the gentle touch feels amazing, and beautiful, and groundbreaking. Buck wants more. Needs more. 

Maybe if he’s good… 

Buck wants to push his hips against Eddie’s hand, the touch just this side of too light and for a second he forgets where exactly he is. Then, Eddie clears his throat gently and grips his thigh rougher than before, snapping him out of his fuzzy arousal. 

He sits up straighter and finishes his food while Eddie’s thumb paints random patterns on the top of Buck’s leg. 

Once he ‘s finished his food and tells Bobby how good it was, the others begin to clear the table. Surprisingly, the team could enjoy the full meal without any interruptions and Buck can see it in their faces that they’re thankful for that. 

With the others out of earshot, Eddie gets up from his seat as well. Buck whines a little at the sudden loss of contact but Eddie is back on him in the next moment. He is now leaning over the back of Buck’s chair, his hand grabbing the empty plate as his soft mouth grazes Buck’s ear once more. 

"Good boy. I knew you could be still for me. And I think you’ve earned yourself a reward for this, don’t you?"

Eddie’s breath is hot against his neck as he preens at the praise in his best friend’s words. He can’t wait for the reward, knowing he will get to come by the hands of Eddie Diaz once more. 

"Thank you," he breathes, needing Eddie to know how much he appreciates him. 

"No need to thank me, Buck. I told you, I’d love to help and that is exactly what I’m doing, yeah?" 

Buck is about to answer, when the harsh ring of the bell startles them out of their little bubble. Eddie straightens up immediately, as he listens to the information coming from dispatch.

Eddie squeezes his shoulder gently. "I’ll see you at home," he winks before rushing down the stairs. 

Bobby comes out of his office and calls for Buck’s attention. "I called Athena and told her you’re here, she offered to pick you up and bring you back to Eddie’s, is that alright with you?"

"Thanks, cap. That’s sweet," he replies, touched at the thought that neither Bobby nor Athena want him to take another Uber. 

He just really, really hopes the next 12 hours will be over quickly. 

◦◦◦

The next 12 hours were decidedly not over quickly. It turns out it’s not really smart to go and get all hot and bothered by your best friend while he’s at work, get called a good boy by said best friend, and then go home where you cannot actually get off – which is also the sole reason why you are in that situation in the first place. 

It’s safe to say that Buck did not have a good time and an even less pleasant night. He thought it would help him to go see Eddie and spend some time with him but he absolutely did not expect for Eddie to rile him up like this. 

He currently hates his best friend. A lot. 

His sleep has been subpar at best. While he had a really nice dream about eating Eddie out for hours and getting him all fuzzy and trembling, he obviously could not get any satisfaction. At this point he has been hard for the better part of a day and he’s getting frantic again. 

He’s hard enough to come from just humping their mattress but he cannot even do that, since he cannot lie on his stomach. Buck fucking hates his arm right now. He’s so frustrated, he can feel the burn of tears in his eyes. 

It’s still dark when he finally gives up trying to fall back to sleep, the need to get off too overwhelming to let him rest for even a minute longer. A soft whine escapes his lips as he stares at the dark ceiling. 

In a desperate attempt to relieve some of the pressure he presses his left hand on his dick, his hips thrusting up a little to create friction but the angles are all wrong. He whines again, louder and far more pitiful this time. 

He’s so far gone, he doesn’t even hear the click of the front door or the soft footsteps coming his way. 

"Oh, sweetheart," Buck’s eyes fly open at the raspy voice coming from the bedroom door. His mouth opens but no sound comes out. "Do you need some relief again?" Eddie adds while coming closer; he’s still wearing his LAFD shirt but he must have changed into jeans before leaving work. Another helpless whine bubbles up as he nods wildly, every last piece of restraint lost in the haze of desire. 

Eddie’s soft smile turns a little impish as he reaches the bed. "Aw, look at you all flushed and desperate. You have been waiting for me, haven’t you?"

"Yes," he whispers, his voice small and needy. 

"Good boy. I know it must have been hard after we had to leave so quickly yesterday, right? But I’m here now."

Buck groans as his hip twitches violently on the bed. 

"Please," he whimpers and Eddie’s demeanor softens instantly. 

"So polite for me. Do you want my hands?" He asks while taking off his shoes and jeans? Buck stares at him in disbelief. Eddie has been fully dressed in pants and shirts during the last two times, Buck never thought he would lose any of the extra layers between them. Especially, since Buck himself is only in his boxers and a thin tank top he managed to pull on by himself last night. 

Seeing Eddie’s strong and naked thighs and the gentle bulge in his navy blue boxers has him salivating. 

"Buck?"

"Hm?"

"I need words, sweetheart. Do you want my hands again?"

Oh. 

"Oh, yes please," he rasps, his voice hoarse. 

"Then be a good boy for me and sit up and scoot forward a little, will you?"

Buck’s brow furrow in confusion, he thought Eddie would just sit next to him again and quickly pull him off. Still, he follows the gentle command easily. 

As soon as he sat up, Eddie is on his side of the bed and crawls in behind him? Without a moment of hesitation, Eddie pushes and pulls Buck in the v of his legs and moves him around just as he pleases. Buck is so busy being shocked at the display of Eddie’s strength that he lets it happen. His breath hitches a little as Eddie pulls him gently against his chest and hooking his chin over Buck’s good shoulder. 

"So hard for me, this must hurt right?" Eddie coos at him, his arms encircling Buck’s waist as he noses behind Buck’s ear. 

Buck’s hips twitch again as he brings his good hand up to cup the back of Eddie’s head, keeping him there, the feeling of his hot breath intoxicating. Eddie squeezes his waist as he attaches his mouth to Buck’s pulse point. Buck whimpers loudly at the feeling of Eddie’s mouth on his body for the very first time. "Yes, yes," he breathes softly, tilting his head to the side giving Eddie more space to do whatever he wants. 

Eddie’s lips are soft and warm on his neck as he’s mouthing and biting gently along the sensitive skin, soothing the sting of his teeth with his tongue. 

"Can I touch you?" He murmurs into Buck’s ear while his right hand plays with the waistband of his boxer shorts. 

"Want you, please."

"Lift your hips a little, sweetheart," Buck preens at the petname, not really grasping the meaning but loving how it sounds from Eddie’s mouth. He does as Eddie asked and sucks in another harsh breath when Eddie promptly pushes his pants down, making his dick spring free. 

"Gorgeous," he pants before pressing another long kiss to Buck’s neck. And oh Eddie is hard too. 

Fuck. 

"Fuck," he whimpers, unconsciously shuffling closer to Eddie, the need to feel his cock almost unbearable. 

"So eager for me, such a good boy. You’re ready for your reward?"

Buck nods once, his mind getting fuzzy on the edges as Eddie immediately wraps his hand around his hard dick. A high pitched keening sound leaves Buck. Seeing Eddie’s hand actually wrapped around himself makes it all so fucking real. 

Pearly white precum bubbles up, making the glide so much easier. And fuck, Eddie’s hands are so fucking big. He’s encompassing Buck so well. He never wants to see anything else. 

On the next up stroke, Eddie’s thumb runs over his tip, catching more of the precum, coating his own fingers with it. Buck is transfixed on the movements. He’s never seen a more mesmerizing thing.

"You look so fucking pretty with my hand on your dick." Buck whines loudly at the words, shifting his hips forward again, seeking more contact, more friction while Eddie’s other hand comes up to cup Buck’s tit over his tank top. He scratches his nipple over the soft material eliciting more sounds out of Buck’s mouth. 

"Fuck, yes, faster Eddie please, feels so good –" Eddie lifts his head up and presses a sweet kiss to Buck’s temple as he picks up the pace of his strokes. 

"Love taking care of you, cariño. You’re doing so well for me, letting me help you with showering and dressing yourself. Such a good boy for me, all pretty and hard, making all those sweet noises for me." Another series of kisses is placed on his cheek and down his jaw making Buck mewl softly. 

"Close, Eds –"

"It’s okay, sweetheart. You can let go." Buck does. He moans brokenly as he comes in long white ribbons, his hip thrusting into Eddie’s hand, taking more, more, more. Eddie lets him as he noses along his jaw once more. 

As Buck tries to catch his breath, Eddie’s clean hand finds its way into his hair, brushing back his sweaty curls, leaving yet another kiss there. Buck is so, so confused but so, so obsessed. The feeling of his best friend’s lips anywhere on his body is somehow better than any other touch. 

When the fog clears, Buck shuffles a little further back, wanting Eddie’s arms back around him. With a start he realises two things. One, Eddie’s breath is quick and uneven. Two, he is still hard. Very much so. Probably painfully so. 

Sparks of pleasure and satisfaction rushes through Buck. Eddie is hard because of what they just did. Because of him. 

He needs to do something about it. Give something back. 

A sudden urge to taste Eddie is crashing over him like a tidal wave. He sits up straight again and struggles to turn around without his dominant arm, enclosed in between Eddie’s legs. 

The other’s face turns worried at the abrupt movement. "Hey, are you okay?" He asks his hands hovering in the air between them, almost as if he’s unsure to touch Buck again.

"Eddie, I –" He can’t help himself but look down at the obvious tent in Eddie’s underwear, licking his lips hungrily. 

"It’s –" Eddie begins but Buck interrupts him. "Wanna blow you."

Eddie swallows harshly, clears his throat. "Y-you do?"

"Wanna taste you, please. Want to thank you –"

"Buck, I told you I want to help you –"

"Please, wanna be good for you and make you come too."

At the whispered words, Eddie’s eyes go darker and Buck swears to everything holy his dick twitches. He needed it in his mouth yesterday. 

"Can I?"

"How could I decline such a generous offer. Of course, good boys get to say thank you if they really want."

Buck blushes a bright pink, preening at Eddie’s easy acceptance. "How do you want me?"

"I don’t want you to move around too much or strain your arm, you’re not supposed to exert yourself too much yet." Eddie scratches the stubble on his cheek in contemplation. 

"Easy." Buck shrugs. "You fuck my face."

"Dios, Buck." Eddie’s eyes darken even more at Buck’s blunt suggestion. "Are you sure?"

Buck just nods in response, his gaze finding Eddie’s erection. He licks his lips unconsciously.

A warm hand cups his cheek. "I don’t want to hurt you."

"You won’t." Buck turns his face a little to press a kiss to the calloused skin of Eddie’s hand. A soft breath rushes out of Eddie. 

"Do you want to lie back down for me, bud?" At Eddie’s question, Buck gets an idea. He just hums before shuffling back and positions himself right on the edge of the mattress as he dangles his head down the bed. 

Eddie groans at the sight and Buck smiles to himself, a little proud of prying these sounds out of him. "You’re gonna be the death of me, Buckley."

Buck hums, pleased. 

Not wasting another moment, Eddie scrambles off the bed and pushes down his boxers at the same time. The first real glance at Eddie’s hard, naked dick has saliva rushing into Buck’s mouth. "C’mon, need you, please," he whines. 

"Always so eager but impatient," Eddie tuts softly as he strokes his dick one, two, three times. "Patience is a virtue."

"Eddie." Buck licks his lips again, trying to get closer to Eddie’s cock. He moves too quickly, jostling his right arm thoughtlessly. A short, sharp pain lights up and he mewls a little at the reminder that he is in fact not healed fully yet. 

Eddie is instantly on him, cradling his arm and checking it. "I told you, you’re not supposed to make any harsh movements, Buck! I think we should sto–"

"No, no, no. Don’t make us stop, please Eddie, please, please, please Eddie, I promise I’m okay. I want to taste you so bad, please don’t stop now," Buck babbles frantically, scared that this will be his one and only chance to ever get his mouth on Eddie. He cannot risk it. He also wants to give Eddie the pleasure he has been giving to him. He wants to give Eddie everything.

Eddie studies him for a moment from where he’s kneeling next to Buck’s head. His hand comes up to his face again, a finger softly caressing his birthmark before moving down and finding Eddie’s favourite spot between his neck and collarbone. 

"Okay," he says; Buck lets out a sigh of relief. Eddie gets back up and positions himself behind Buck’s head. His hands gently hook under Buck’s arms to pull him further off the bed and towards him, towards his groin as another whine bubbles up from somewhere in Buck’s chest. 

"Yes, yes, yes," he chants softly, gaze fixed on Eddie’s dick once more, the skin looking so soft and pretty in the dim morning light. He licks his lips in anticipation. "Gimme, please," he murmurs, making Eddie chuckle softly, a hand tapping his cheek gently. 

"So eager for me. Makes me feel quite good not gonna lie."

"Can make you feel so much better. Promise." Buck lifts his good arm behind his head, clumsily trying to get ahold of Eddie’s thigh. 

"Well then show me what you got, Buckley," Eddie teases in response before grabbing his dick and pumping himself a few more times. "Open up, sweetheart."

A pleasant shiver runs through Buck at the petname, wishing to never hear anything else out of Eddie’s mouth except for his moans. He really wants to hear those. 

He licks his lips again and opens his mouth wide, trying to relax his throat but the excitement of finally tasting Eddie is making it quite difficult. 

Of course, Eddie senses his tension and he cups his cheek again, letting a finger run over Buck’s spit wet lips. "Relax, Buck. You can have it but you gotta calm down for me, alright?"

He nods in reply and takes a deep breath, once again trying to relax his jaw. With the help of Eddie’s warm and calming touch he manages to settle down a little. Eddie hums appreciatively and rewards him with a small thrust of his hips that pushes the tip of his dick against Buck’s waiting mouth. 

Buck moans a little at the first taste of the essence of Eddie, his mind offering the nice fuzziness again as he laps up the precum that is already bubbling up. He begins with some quick kitten licks, wanting more and more of the salty taste in his mouth before he lifts his head a little to take the whole tip in his mouth. 

The angle is wholly different to anything he has ever experienced and it is obvious that Eddie is the one in charge here but Buck fucking loves it. With the limited movement he has he can only suckle the head of Eddie’s cock in his mouth but he also gets to see and feel the helpless twitches of Eddie’s hips as the other begins to really get into the blowjob. 

"Fuck, that’s so good, bud. Doing so well for me. Knew your mouth would feel incredible," he moans lowly, as Buck sucks harder on his tip. His hand that is still gripping Eddie’s thigh squeezes the flesh harder, trying to get Eddie to move and fuck his throat like he promised he would. 

Another groan escapes Eddie as he realizes what Buck is asking for. "Keep your hand on my thigh, if it gets too much tap three times and I will stop, got it?" Buck squeezes his hand in response, making Eddie laugh softly. "Good boy."

What happens next is something right out of Buck’s dirtiest dreams and nothing he ever could have hoped for in real life. Until now. 

Starting off slow, with small controlled thrusts, Eddie gives Buck the chance to get used to the size and thickness of his cock. Hot, wet saliva floods his mouth at the feeling of his love’s dick in his mouth and he wants to be good so bad. He loosens his jaw, opens up his throat and gives himself over to Eddie fully. 

Eddie’s moans are getting louder and louder, while his thrusts begin to get deeper, his hips twitch more and more as he slowly begins to lose some of that iron clad control. Buck is ecstatic. He moans around the cock in his mouth, slurps and swallows as much as he can and Eddie is thanking him with the filthiest words muttered into the hot air of the bedroom. 

"So fucking good for me, Buck. Look at you taking my cock so well. Feels so fucking good, god you have no idea how much I wanted this, fuck, fuck, fuck. I’m already getting close. Your mouth is sinful," he rasps. His hands find their way onto Buck’s body, trying to find leverage and soothe at the same time and Buck hums in appreciation. He loves Eddie’s hands so, so much. 

"I’m close, sweetheart," Eddie murmurs again, his next thrust a little sharper than before and Buck moans brokenly again, the vibrations making Eddie stumble just a little. "Fuck, that’s so good. My good boy."

"If you want me to pull off, tap my thigh –" Eddie adds through the haze of arousal but Buck just huffs out an affronted noise. No. Eddie taps his cheek again, showing his understanding before picking up his thrusts once more. 

Buck feels like he’s floating. He’s pretty sure he could come just from this. Again.

On his next thrust, Eddie chokes on another moan before his body suddenly stills. He spills his load down Buck’s throat, moaning lowly. "Baby," he sighs, making Buck freeze as he tries not to choke on Eddie’s cum. A shot of longing rushes through him as Buck wishes more than ever that this was real and not just born out of the heat of the moment. 

His heart pangs in his chest as he squeezes his eyes shut while Eddie pulls out gently. Soft hands pull him up and position him on the bed once more before cleaning the cum and spit from his face with a shirt that smells like Eddie and home. He doesn’t say anything when Eddie fills the quiet air with soft praise and the reminder of pain meds Buck seriously needs to take after all the exertion. He’s still quiet when Eddie tells him he wants a nap and whether Buck would mind joining him. And of course he doesn’t protest when Eddie pulls him in his chest and falls asleep while nosing Buck’s unruly curls. 

◦◦◦

The blowjob changed everything. 

And yes, Buck is more than aware how fucking ridiculous this sounds, but it’s the truth. For some stupid fucking reason the handjobs were completely fine. He could enjoy them and just think of them as a friend helping a friend but feeling Eddie’s dick in his mouth, getting to taste him, hearing him moan, feeling him come undone at the seams has changed everything. Him calling Buck baby has changed everything.

This is everything Buck has ever wanted. Unfortunately, it is not something he can keep. 

Because as Eddie stated so plain and simple; it was just assistance, relief, and a little comfort between best friends. Nothing more, nothing less. 

And now he is on his way to the doctor’s and he’s going to lose every reason to ever take Eddie up on his offer ever again because he’s physically fine – just with a broken heart. 

The others have been texting him all morning how excited they are for him to finally lose the sling, that they can’t wait for him to be back at work, and that they missed him and the brownies he has been making for dessert lately – Chim has been very vocal about that particular thing.

Everyone is dead set on him going sheer crazy after missing out on three weeks of work because yeah usually that would be him. Just not this time. Of course he misses work and he misses seeing his family every day and he is so ready to lose that stupid sling but little do they know he is actually going sheer crazy over something completely different. 

In fact, he has been going sheer fucking crazy over the fact that Eddie will never touch him again. At least not in a way he so desperately wants. 

Sure, him hopelessly pining over his straight best friend is nothing new. Nothing has changed here and he has been dealing with this for years. New is that he now knows how it feels to come undone with Eddie whispering sweet nothings into his ear while getting him off so perfectly. Now he knows how Eddie sounds when he calls him baby and that is something he won’t be able to forget. Ever. 

Yeah, Buck is going sheer fucking crazy. And he has no fucking clue how he is supposed to be normal around his best friend ever again. 

Because as much as it was just a friendly little lending hand for Eddie, it was love for Buck. 

"– Buck?" Maddie’s voice pulls him out of his thoughts and he realizes he must have zoned out for god knows how long, seeing as they are in the hospital parking lot. 

"Sorry, uhm guess I zoned out," he says, looking at her apologetically. 

Maddie studies him for a second and he just knows what’s about to come. "I’m not even gonna ask if you’re okay because I can see that you’re not. So, you wanna talk about it or should I pretend it’s nothing until I get you wine drunk as soon as you’re off the pain meds?"

Yep, there it is. His big sister just knows him too well. Fuck that. 

"It’s nothing, Mads."

"Sure. Keep telling yourself that."

"I’ve just not been sleeping well with the sling and all," he tries to deflect but Maddie sees right through him. 

"Oh, so it has nothing to do with the fact that you have been living in Eddie’s place for the past three weeks, playing house with him and Chris?"

"Well, no. Chris wasn’t even there for the majority of the time."

"Evan." If an eye roll had a noise, it would be how Maddie sounds right now. 

Buck huffs, knowing he won’t get out of this but maybe he can buy himself a little more time. "Fine, can I request the wine talk and a little more time though? Right now, I just want to get in there and have the doctor tell me I can go back to work and then go to the loft and sleep in my own bed."

She purses her lips, obviously not happy with the answer but also knowing her brother too well to try and pry anything out of him. "Alright. But I am gonna hold you to that. Also if you get the okay from your doctor, I will be bringing Jee over tomorrow because she has been asking for her uncle Buck and her parents could really use a little afternoon off."

He swallows at the words, knowing exactly what she’s doing here. He smiles at her thankfully, whispering an of course. Maddie smiles back at him with a soft look on her face, hand coming up to squeeze his arm equally as soft. Gentle and familiar. 

"Right. Now get out of my car. I gotta go to work and you have a sling to get off," she turns back to the steering wheel and starts the car. "You're gonna be okay with getting home, right?"

"Yeah, I’m gonna get an Uber. It’s no problem."

"An Uber? Doesn’t Eddie have –"

"No." Buck interrupts her. Of course, Eddie is off shift and would pick him up, would have even driven him but Buck just needs … an Eddie break. Just for a little bit. "Uber is fine. Besides, Chris will be home in a few hours and I’m sure Eddie has errands to run and then go get his kid who he hasn’t seen in a week." His tone is final and he hopes Maddie is taking it for what it is and not as the desperate attempt to get himself in check. 

"Okay, Buck," he replies, voice too understanding for his liking but it’s Maddie after all, what is he supposed to do about sisterly instincts. "Text me when you’re home, alright? Let me know what the doctor says. I’ll have my phone with me on the floor."

"I will. Thanks for the ride, Mads." And everything else. 

"No problem. I’ll see you later, Evan."

Buck nods at her again before leaving her car, his heart a little heavy with the fact that he’s on his way to losing Eddie’s touch forever. 

A few hours later, Buck’s ringing phone pulls him out of a very much needed nap. He must have fallen asleep on the couch while watching an episode of Masterchef, his phone lost in the tangle of the fuzzy blanket he had cocooned himself in. 

When he finally finds it, the ringing has stopped but his lockscreen shows him one missed call from Eds❤️🔥. His stomach drops a little, knowing exactly what is about to happen. 

Not a minute later, his phone lights up with another call, the name of his best friend front and center on the screen. 

He swipes to accept it. "Hey."

There’s a breath on the other side and Buck can hear the click of a door being closed – he somehow just knows that Eddie is in his bedroom, probably about to sit down on their – his bed. 

"Buck. Hi." Eddie sounds weird, almost a little confused and worried? 

"Hi, Eds. Is everything okay? Chris home? How was his trip?" He’s going for nonchalant. 

"Uhm, yeah sure. I picked him up at 3, as you know," and yeah Buck knows because they had planned to get him together after Buck’s doctor’s appointment. But that was before Buck’s heart has been put through the fucking wringer. "The question is, where are you? Because you are neither at home, nor the hospital, or at any other place I could think of."

"I’m at the loft," Buck squeezes his eyes shut.

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"Okay," Eddie clears his throat softly, "uhm, so what did the doctor say then?"

"Arm is almost fully healed, I just need to get through a few physio appointments to make sure I regain full range of mobility." This is good, this is safe. Buck can get through this conversation without blurting out how much he misses Eddie’s touch already. It hasn’t even been two full days you fucking weirdo. 

"So, no sling anymore?"

"Nope. He said, I should start using my arm normally again. He gave me some more pain meds in case it hurts a little for the first few days but you know how I am –" Nervous energy starts bubbling up inside Buck, making him get up from the couch as he begins to pace around his living space. 

"That – That’s good. I’m glad to hear it, Buck. What about work?"

Eddie sounds weird.

Why does Eddie sound so weird?

You know why.

Buck feels sick. 

"Doc said I could start with light duty next week, back to full duty after physio. I already talked to Bobby and he put me back on the roster for Wednesday because he doesn’t want me to work a full 24 right away, so he left out the one on Monday."

"That makes sense," Eddie agrees softly, "you should still be careful."

"It was just a small injury, Eds. I had far worse. You had far worse." It’s sickening how he almost wishes it was worse, so he could have Eddie and his touch for longer than just a week.

"Still. Elbows are tricky. It could start bothering you later on again. We all want you to heal fully. I want you to heal fully." Buck swallows harshly at the sweet words. Eddie cares about him so much and Buck has taken advantage of him in such a startling way. Buck truly doesn’t deserve him. How Eddie still puts up with him is beyond him. 

"You’re right."

Eddie is quiet for a second before clearing his throat again. "Listen, Chris has been asking for you. He bought some kind of spaceship thing to build on his trip and apparently I am not qualified to build it with him, so he was wondering if you'd be up for it? He’s got invited to a  pool party on Sunday, so maybe tomorrow?"

His heart pangs in his chest again. He fucking hates disappointing Eddie, he hates it even more when he has to disappoint Chris. But he just can’t. He needs some space and he’s pretty damn sure Eddie wants some fucking space from him. He can read between the lines, okay? It hasn’t gone past him how Eddie phrased the question. 

"I already promised Maddie to babysit Jee tomorrow," he says, trying to sound normal but missing by a mile. "Sorry."

"Oh, no, no uhm yeah of course. You haven’t seen her in ages. You go and have a good day with her, alright?"

"Tell Chris I’m sorry though, okay?"

"He’ll understand, don’t worry. Uhm, I have to go. I should probably think about getting dinner started. You’re gonna be okay for the night?"

"Oh yeah, I’m just gonna have something quick and then crash, I’m tired."

"Yeah, you do that. Call me if you need anything?"

"Sure, I will." I won’t. You deserve space from me. 

"Good, good."

"Give Chris a hug from me?" He asks in a small voice. 

"Of course. Good night, Buck."

"Thanks, uhm good bye." The line goes dead. 

Why that somehow felt like a break up is beyond Buck. He just knows he cannot ruin the best friendship he’s ever had any further so he needs to take a step back. Give Eddie some room to breathe and his own heart a chance to stop hurting so much. 

He goes to bed but sleep doesn’t come for a long, long time. 

◦◦◦

Somehow it’s Tuesday now, the first physio appointment went down without a hitch, Buck’s arm is fine, his heart is decidedly not, and he has been effectively ignoring Eddie since their phone call on Friday. 

Buck hates everything about the fact that he hasn’t seen or talked to his best friend in over four days because he usually never has to go more than twelve hours without any contact at most. And then both of them are either sleeping or working opposite shifts. To make matters worse it’s Buck’s own fucking fault and very much his own behavior that brought him here. 

Because Eddie has tried as usual. Buck’s list of missed calls, the facetime log, and the number of unread text messages are proof enough. With every new ding of his phone, it became harder for Buck to not react but he cannot trust himself. Too risky the possibility of him spilling the beans and declaring his love to Eddie while begging him to take him back to bed and make love to him this time. And he simply cannot risk that. So he has put a contact ban on himself. It’s already stressful enough that he has to see Eddie at work in the morning; at least there are other people at the station and he hasn’t seen Hen or Ravi in over a week, he can just cling to them. Hen is nice enough to let him do that. 

His spiraling thoughts are interrupted by a loud knock on his door. He frowns to himself and quickly unlocks his phone, trying to see whether anyone has notified him of coming over. Nothing, weird.

He gets up from the sofa, taking the blanket he has wrapped around his shoulders with him. It’s a cold and gloomy day, quite fitting for Buck’s mood. So extra comfort it is. 

When he peeks through the peephole and sees none other than his best friend on the other side of the door, his stomach drops several floors down. No, no, no. Buck thought he had time until tomorrow to get himself in check before seeing Eddie again. He thought he had more time to get the desire, the longing, the love back under wraps. Eddie wasn’t supposed to be here. He wasn’t supposed to see what a fucking wreck Buck is, has been the past few days. 

Another knock. More impatient.

Buck closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, knowing he won’t be able to ignore Eddie this time. He pulls the door open. 

His heart honest to God flips as soon as he sees Eddie standing there, hand on his hips and eyes dark. Fuck, he missed him so bad. It takes everything in him not to beg him for his touch. So much for finding his composure. Good job, Buckley. 

"Would you look at that, he lives!" Eddie deadpans, his eyebrows almost hidden in his hairline. Oh. He’s mad. 

"Eddie, hi. Uhm, what are you doing here?" The look Eddie gives him is wholly unimpressed. 

"Oh, I don’t know. Guess, I wanted to check up on my best friend and see if he’s still alive since no one has heard from him in three days. So, are you letting me check up on you or do I have to call reinforcement in the form of Athena?"

He really isn’t here to play. Buck swallows softly. "No, no. Uhm, please come in," he steps aside and opens the door further to let Eddie in. 

After closing the door, he follows Eddie to the kitchen where he’s leaning against the island, arms crossed over his brown henley, an expectant look on his face.

"Can I get you anything? Coffee? Water? It’s barely noon so a little early for beer but I don’t know. Whatever you want –" he rambles while he pulls open the fridge, back turned towards Eddie as he tries to keep his composure. 

"What I want is for you to tell me what the hell is going on. It’s not like you to just drop off the face of the earth and ignore everyone – that is much more my style."

"I don’t know what you mean. I’m fine, Eddie," Buck tries to argue but the answering scoff is proof enough that Eddie is not buying it. Still he keeps going. "You sure you don’t want coffee? I could go for one. Are you hungry maybe? I can whip up some eggs, I even have some Eggo waffles in the freezer. The one with the blueberries that Chris doesn’t like but I know you do –" He’s trying to fill up the water tank for the coffee maker but his hand is shaking with the force of acting like he doesn’t want to throw himself right into his best friend’s arms. 

He’s focusing hard enough on the task that he doesn’t notice Eddie coming up behind him until a strong, tan arm reaches around him to shut the water off. "Buck," he says, tone softer than before. 

As soon as Buck’s body senses Eddie so close, his heart begins to race in his chest. The temptation to let himself fall back into the embrace, feel those gorgeous, gorgeous hands on his skin again is too much. Suppressing a gasp he steps out of the almost-embrace, away from Eddie. Subconsciously, he puts the kitchen island as a barrier between them and takes a much needed breath. 

Eddie turns around slowly, his face unreadable. Buck tugs the blanket that somehow still hangs from his shoulders, closer around himself, burrowing into the fuzzy softness – another shield for his hurting heart. He tries his best to ignore the incessant need to show Eddie exactly what the fuck is wrong with him. It is out of the question that he can tell Eddie the reason for his weird behavior. 

They look at each other for a moment before Buck averts his eyes, his stomach in knots at the glint in Eddie’s own. As much as he tries to keep his feelings locked up, Buck knows him too well. And he knows that he is hurting Eddie with his stupid act right now. That is exactly why he has been keeping his distance for the past few days. 

Eddie purses his lips as a little huff of air leaves his mouth and Buck knows what expression he carries at that moment without even looking at him. 

"Buck. Something is clearly wrong and you are not fine. So, please just tell me what’s going on and let me help you."

"There is nothing wrong, Eddie, I told you I’m fine –"

"Don’t even try to lie to me, you and I both know that’s not gonna work." And yeah, Eddie is right. Buck hates this a lot right now. 

He groans softly, looking at the ceiling as he wills the tears not to come. He suddenly feels overwhelmed and so, so alone. Which yes, is fucking ridiculous. 

This time he does hear Eddie’s steps and he swallows harshly again, the distance between them getting smaller – at least physically.

"Buck –" he starts again, body only a step or two away but he refrains from any touching which Buck hates and is thankful for at the same time. 

"Eddie, please," he begs, his voice small as his mind goes back to another time last week where he was begging for a whole different reason. His heart pangs again. 

"I don’t wanna push you into telling me what’s wrong but I know something is up with you and we’re all worried. And it’s not like you to ignore us, to ignore me," he breathes, his tone forcefully neutral but Buck hears the edge of hurt in it. Buck is such an asshole. Why can he not just get over his fucking feelings? 

Buck feels the pressure building behind his eyes and he really doesn’t want to cry and give Eddie even more proof that he is indeed not fine. "There is nothing to talk about," he tries again weakly, desperate to move past all of this. 

Another huff makes him look back to Eddie and he sees the smallest bit of frustration mixed under the worry that darkens his face. "I don’t know what I did but I apologize and I understand if you don’t want to talk to me about it but –"

Somehow this is the moment Buck’s heart cracks because yes, Eddie doesn’t understand the pain he is feeling right now. The bleeding ache of unrequited love deepened by the knowledge how well they fit together physically. 

"No, Eddie! You don’t understand anything!" He yells, his voice breaking on the last word. 

Eddie flinches back a little at the rawness in Buck’s voice and there is a moment that Buck thinks he managed to ruin it all without even spilling the truth about his feelings. 

The other clears his throat softly as he takes a step closer to Buck again, his hands up in a placating manner. "Then explain it to me, bud. I’ve been going sheer crazy the past few days –"

" ‘m sorry –"

Eddie just gives him a look before carrying on. "– I was getting more and more worried with every unanswered call or unread text message. To be completely honest, I also still don’t understand why you went to the doctor’s appointment alone and why you went back to the loft without saying a damn word. C’mon Buck, out with it. You know, you can talk to me about anything and there must have something happen for you to act like –"

"I miss you, okay?" He blurts out making Eddie stop in his tracks. Buck swirls around, back facing Eddie now, not ready to see the expression change on his face. 

His best friend makes a confused noise. "I’m right here."

"See, you don’t get it." He rubs his eyes furiously, it gets harder to hold the tears back. 

"Buck, I – I don’t –"

"I miss your touch." Fuck, fuck, fuck. "Fuck."

There’s a beat of silence, Eddie undoubtedly trying to make sense of Buck’s outburst. 

And then – 

"Oh," he says, his voice getting a little lighter instantly. "You should have just said so, Buck. I can still help you out, sling or no sling. Why didn’t you tell me?"

"Because I can’t do this anymore!" His heart gains another crack at the nonchalant way Eddie talks about them having sex. Because this is what it was. They were having sex with each other. Platonic sex. Buck doesn’t recommend having platonic sex with your best friend who is also the love of your life; it sure ends in a catastrophe. And as badly as said catastrophe hurts, you still desperately want to go back again and again.

"Oh?" Eddie’s voice breaks through the frenzy in Buck’s mind, his tone a little lost. "You don’t? But, I uhm, thought you enjoyed it?"

"I did and that’s the fucking problem," he exclaims, his voice trembling as hard as his hands are.

"Buck, I’m sorry, but I don’t know what you’re on about. Did I make you uncomfortable? That was never my intention –"

Buck laughs hollow. "It’s not you, Eddie. It’s me."

"Who said you made me uncomfortable? Buck, I was the one who offered to help you?"

"Yeah, you might have offered but you certainly never ask for any of this," he scoffs.

"I didn’t ask for what? Buck, baby –" At the term of endearment, something snaps inside Buck and he swirls around and rushes over to where Eddie is standing by the kitchen island. Without thinking his hands reach out to cup Eddie’s jaw as he leans down and crashes his lips against Eddie’s soft, pillowy ones. A desperate noise leaves his mouth as he tries to get closer, closer, closer to Eddie. Nothing else matters. He just wants to be Eddie’s baby. He tries to put all of his longing, need, and desire in a single kiss. 

It’s only when Eddie’s hands come up to grab his waist and the other begins to move his mouth that Buck’s brain comes back online. 

In a split second, his whole body locks up and his heart misses one, two, three beats as he realizes what he just did. Oh, you fucked up, his brain helpfully supplies. 

Buck wrenches himself away from Eddie, staggers back, tries to put some distance between them, as he stares at his best friend with wide, disbelieving eyes. 

Eddie licks his lips slowly and clears his throat but before he can even open his mouth to say something, anything, to let Buck down gently because it’s Eddie he would never do it harsh, to tell him he’s flattered but he is straight and kissing was never on the agenda, to explain he needs space, to let him know he leaves – 

No. He can’t let that happen. He can’t lose Eddie. He can’t lose Chris. He can’t lose his family. What the fuck was he thinking? 

"What the fuck was I thinking?" He whispers to himself. Louder, he says, "I am so sorry, Eddie. I – I don’t know what I was thinking. Please, please, please believe me this was just a lapse in judgement, I didn’t mean to – I didn’t think – I don’t know what I thought. But please, c-can we just forget about this? I will let you get some space, you can have all the space you want, but please don’t hate me. Don’t leave me, I can’t lose my best friend –" Buck is talking himself into a frenzy, tone high-pitched and a little frantic as he tries to not lose the most important relationship he ever had.

Suddenly, there are hands on his shoulders, a thumb on the delicate spot right above his collar bone and a soft voice that is invading the cloud of panic. "Buck, cariño, you gotta breathe. C’mon, take a deep breath for me," Eddie murmurs. 

Buck blinks at him for a second, not understanding why Eddie would touch him right now. Still, he’s grateful for the touch because it does ground him. After a few shaking breaths, he feels his heart calm down but it still squeezes painfully in his chest. 

"I’m so sorry, Eddie," he says, voice small, his eyes downcast. "Y-you can go, it’s okay. Get some space f-from me –"

Eddie makes an unhappy noise. "Who said I wanted space?" Buck’s eyes snap back up to the other’s face, wide and confused. "Who said I want space from you, Buck?"

Buck opens his mouth, trying to form an answer but he’s so confused, he doesn’t know what to say. He clears his throat.

Eddie looks at him, gentle patience and something else glimmering in his eyes. "Do you want space from me?" He asks and takes a step back, creating some actual space between them – Buck misses his touch immediately. 

"No! Uhm I mean, no, I – of course I don’ want space from you – I"

Eddie steps closer again. "Okay, but I really think we should talk about all of this. And I think we need to clear some things up."

Buck nods and wraps his arms tightly around himself, trying to prepare himself for whatever is about to happen. "I’m really sorry, Eddie."

"For what?"

His eyes find Eddie’s once more and he gives him an incredulous look. "Uhm, I kissed you? And I-I uhm I obviously took advantage of you and your kindness and I made you cross so many lines while telling myself everything is fine," he huffs a sad laugh. "I literally sat there and accepted your help, took you up on your very kind and sweet platonic offer while –"

Eddie’s soft laugh interrupts Buck on the spot. "What? Why are you laughing at me? I ruined our friendship and used you and you are laughing at me? What the hell, Eddie?"

"Baby," he laughs once more, much gentler and sweet. And what. "Did you really think all of this was just us as friends? Did you seriously just call everything we did strictly platonic?"

Buck just shrugs helplessly, his head spinning slightly. The past hour has been one big whiplash. "I mean – yes?"

"Buck –" Eddie groans but it is filled with so much fondness, Buck’s stomach swoops fiercely. 

"What? You said it yourself – w-when you offered to help me, that it’s just a little service between friends."

"Are you listening to yourself right now," Eddie teases him with another laugh, "sweetheart, that was maybe true for the first time I got you off and even this is cutting it real close. Didn’t you think the platonic aspect flew out of the window when I got you so riled up you followed me to the station to get felt up and then called you nothing short of a good boy?"

A quiet whine falls out of Buck’s mouth – equal parts embarrassed and turned on, the slight condescending tone in Eddie’s voice really doing it for him. "Eddie."

He takes another step towards Buck, his toes almost touching Buck’s own with how close they are once more. One of his hands comes up to cup Buck’s face as he searches his eyes deeply. Buck tries to swallow around the sudden lump in his throat. "Eddie," he says again, unsure what is happening right now. 

"Buck, baby," he murmurs with so much affection that Buck shudders a little. "Do you believe me when I say that you definitely didn’t take advantage of me, that I loved helping you, and that I may or not may have offered all of this in the first place out of pretty selfish reasons?"

Something like hope flickers in his stomach as he looks at Eddie’s gorgeous brown eyes. "Y-you did?"

Eddie’s other hand finds Buck’s waist, his grip warm and protective as he pulls him even closer to himself. "Oh yeah," he chuckles, his thumb caressing Buck’s cheek softly as he studies his face once more. "I’m gonna tell you something now and I want you to know that I mean it with all I have, okay?"

Buck’s heart jumps at how serious Eddie suddenly sounds. "Okay," he whispers.

"I love you, Buck. So much." He says it quietly but so, so sure, almost like a promise. Buck’s entire being comes to a halt at the words, his mind trying to decipher the words for several seconds while his heart rate doubles in speed. 

"You love me?" He asks, needing to hear the words again. 

Eddie nods, a beautiful smile on his face. "I do. Why do you think I offered to help you? I told you it was purely for selfish reasons. The chance to get to touch you, to get to hold you close, to watch you come undone? This is all I wanted for months. I was just too fucking scared to ruin our friendship, to ruin what you have with Chris, to push you away with my feelings. So, I kept them to myself. But seeing you so desperate and overwhelmed with need was like a switch. All I could think about was getting my hands on you to give you some sweet, sweet relief, I didn’t even expect anything in return, honoured and lucky to have you like this but then – then you wanted to return the favor and I –"

Buck can’t help himself when he lurches forward once again and captures Eddie’s mouth in a desperate kiss. Having his own struggles, feelings, and thoughts mirrored back almost word for word is something he never even took into consideration. As much as he hates that Eddie has been struggling too, his heart swells with the knowledge that they are once again on the same fucking wavelength. Eddie is truly his person. 

A needy whimper escapes his mouth as Eddie is kissing him back this time and quickly taking charge. While Buck’s hands find Eddie’s jaw once more, Eddie takes a tighter hold of his waist, steering him backwards until his back meets the wall roughly. Nothing about the kiss is sweet and gentle, their tongues fighting as the desperation and hunger for each other grows. Eddie wins by a mile and Buck lets him, wanting to be overruled and fully encompassed by him. They kiss and kiss and kiss, moans and whines spilling between them. 

Buck is growing harder by the second at the sensation of Eddie’s strong body against him, his tongue exploring his mouth, and the feel of his hair in between his fingers. He tugs at the strands trying to pull Eddie closer, closer, closer. The other responds with a sharp roll of his hips that has Buck’s head fall back, moaning loudly. Eddie doesn’t waste a moment and latches onto his neck, nibbling on the soft skin there. He bites down harshly as he thrusts his hips into Buck’s again, eliciting noises Buck didn’t even know he had in him. 

"Fuck, Eddie," he whines, "please don’t stop, mark me up, make me yours, please." Eddie soothes the sting of his teeth with his tongue, soft kitten licks that drive Buck crazy. 

He presses soft kisses along Buck’s jaw until he reaches his ear, chuckling lowly at Buck’s heavy panting and the little twitches of his hips. "Aw, sweetheart, are you hard? Look at your little hips, trying to get some friction all needy, it’s cute."

Seriously, where has Eddie hidden this side of him for all these years? 

"Please."

"Tell me what you want, bud." Eddie pulls his head away from Buck’s ear to look at him, his eyes so dark it makes Buck’s breath hitch in his throat. 

He needs him so badly. He needs him fully. 

"Want you inside. Fuck me, please, Eddie, fuck me, fuck me, fuck me," his hips thrust forward in quick succession, the need for some relief growing infinitely. Feeling Eddie’s equally hard dick strain against his jeans, has Buck’s mouth water.

"Such a good boy, telling me what you want and still being so polite. You sure, you want me to fuck you?"

"Yes, Eddie I need you," he exhales. 

"It’d be my pleasure," he says back quietly, pressing a kiss to Buck’s cheek before taking one of his hands in his own. "C’mon then, lead the way," he adds, nodding towards the loft.

Without wasting another second, Buck pulls Eddie up the stairs towards his bedroom. Before either of them can make it to the bed, they get distracted by another hungry kiss, that has far too much teeth and spit. It’s perfect. They grind against each other, Eddie’s own moans getting louder and Buck is soaking them up like nothing else. 

Somehow, both of them lose their clothes and Buck’s half working brain is pretty sure this is all Eddie’s doing. Suddenly, there is a warm hand on Buck’s aching dick and he bucks his hip into the touch, another groan spilling out. 

"Such a pretty cock, baby. Feels so good in my hands, I was obsessed right from the start. Never want to touch anything else. Soft skin and such a pretty color. It truly matches your birthmark. Gorgeous." Eddie starts stroking him, the sensation wholly different to all the other times now that they are both naked, hard, and leaking. Skin to skin. Now that they have kissed. Now that Buck knows Eddie loves him. 

With a sudden start, he realizes something. He never said it back. 

Buck breaks away from the kiss, breathing harshly, his eyes wide as he looks at Eddie. 

"Is everything okay, cariño?"

"I didn’t say it back."

Eddie cocks his head in confusion, "you didn’t –"

"I didn’t tell you that I love you too." Possibly, the most beautiful smile Buck has ever seen lights up Eddie’s pretty face. 

"Oh, so you do, huh?" His smile is bright and happy but Buck can see the tiniest hint of insecurity in his eyes. Yeah, that’s not it. 

Buck steps back into Eddie’s space, his hands coming up to grasp his neck gently, finger playing with the soft hair at the nape as he looks deeply into Eddie’s eyes. "I am so in love with you that I do not know what to do with myself, baby. I have literally made a fool of myself for the past three weeks and I don’t know how I got so lucky that you decided this is it for you but I will never ever not be thankful for it. For you. And I guess I am also weirdly thankful for the faulty stairs in that random restaurant because it led us right here."

Eddie laughs again, soft and sweet as he presses his forehead against Buck’s. "I personally hate these stairs for hurting you but I guess I can agree on being thankful because we finally got our heads out of our asses. I love you, Evan Buckley."

A pleased shiver runs through Buck as he kisses Eddie’s forehead carefully. "I love you too, Eddie Diaz," he whispers against the warm skin. 

"Kiss me, baby," Eddie demands and who is Buck to deny him anything? Their lips find each other again. It starts out far gentler than their last kisses, both of them putting all of their love into the kiss. 

Their shared desperation quickly comes back and soon Eddie’s hands wander all over Buck’s body, settling on his ass. Buck hums appreciatively, his own hand still firmly placed in Eddie’s hair. A moment later, there’s a finger where Buck so desperately wants it, rubbing over his head with a little pressure that drives Buck crazy. "Fuck, yes, right there, please, babe. Need you."

"You have me. How do you wanna do this, sweetheart?"

"Wanna ride you. Please." Buck murmurs while finally wrapping his own hand around Eddie’s swollen dick. Fuck, he’s thick. Buck won’t be able to walk for days, he can’t wait. 

"Dios mio," Eddie hisses, squeezing his eyes shut. "You’re gonna be the death of me, bud. C’mon, on the bed with you. Lemme open you up."

Buck complies immediately, the urge to have those long, gorgeous fingers in him almost overwhelming. He crawls on his mattress, positioning himself on all fours right in the middle as he arches his back enticingly. "Such a pretty sight, baby." Eddie praises as he runs a soft hand down Buck’s naked back. "Where’s your lube and condoms?"

"Bedside table. Second drawer," he replies, his voice shaking in anticipation. 

A moment later, he finally feels the mattress dip behind him and he turns his head to get a glimpse of a gloriously naked Eddie, who’s pumping his own cock a few times before opening the bottle of lube and getting his fingers nice and wet. Buck wiggles his ass a little, hoping to spur Eddie on. "Look who’s getting impatient again. I thought we established that good boys wait still and get rewarded for their patience."

"Please, Eddie, can’t wait today," he whines softly, needy. 

"Oh, baby, of course. You’ve been away from me for far too long, haven’t you? Next time you try to ignore me, you’ll know better, right?"

"Yes, yes. I’m sorry, Eddie. Please, can I have your fingers now?"

Suddenly there are hands on his ass cheeks, tapping softly before pulling them apart. "Well, if you ask so nicely –" Eddie hums before there’s finally the press of a first, wet finger against his rim, pushing in slowly but surely. Buck presses against it immediately, hoping to get Eddie to work faster. 

"Ngh, yes, yes," Buck breathes heavily into his pillow, his elbows already giving in as his upper body falls into the mattress. With a steady pace, Eddie gets him loose and open, ready for his dick as more and more desperate moans fall out of Buck’s mouth. 

"More, Eddie, please give me another, I can take it. Feels so good already, love your hands and fingers. Always feel so good on me, need your cock, please more," he soon babbles as he tries to rock his hips back into Eddie’s touch. Eddie lets him for a moment or two but with his third finger, his other hand grips Buck’s hips and he leans over his back, mouth finding his shoulder blade, the back of his neck, his jaw where he leaves open-mouthed kisses and warning bites for him to keep still. Later, Buck will have no recollection of how he managed to stop his movements but the whispered good boy, doing so well for me is evidence enough. 

Eddie’s weight on his back feels fucking heavenly and he is almost willed to change their plans and beg Eddie to fuck him just like this, but the urge to see Eddie’s face when his dick gets swallowed by Buck’s hole for the very first time is too strong. 

" ‘m ready, baby," he pants into the spit soaked pillow. "Already close, need to come on your cock, please."

Eddie growls deeply into his ear as he leaves another wet kiss to Buck’s neck. He slowly pulls out his fingers and cleans them off on the rumpled bed sheets. "Alright, baby. Show me what you got."

Buck scrambles up from his position, urging them both to switch which draws another chuckle out of Eddie. "Always so eager for me, my good boy."

"Lie down, Eds," Buck replies, a blush heating up his cheeks as he realizes what is about to happen. 

Eddie follows Buck’s request and lies down in the spot Buck has just occupied. He grabs a condom packet and rips it open with his teeth, his movements choppy in his rush. A hand on his forearm stops him in his tracks. "Hey, easy, Buck. We have all the time in the world. No need to rush. C’mere." Eddie pries the packet out of his hands before taking the foil off and simply gets himself ready for Buck. 

"Ready for you, cariño," he says after lubing himself up. Buck licks his lips and nods quickly, swinging his leg over Eddie’s lap. Despite Eddie telling him there isn’t any rush, Buck’s desperation to finally have Eddie fill him up is far too big to disregard. Without wasting any more time he sinks himself down on Eddie’s dick. 

Both of them groan in unison as Buck throws his head back at the feeling of Eddie. "So full," he moans, his hand squeezing his own dick, hoping to stop his imminent orgasm. 

"Fuck, baby, you’re so goddamn tight. Feels fucking heavenly," Eddie hisses, clearly trying to keep his composure. A smug feeling rushes through Buck, making him preen. 

"Wanted this for so long, Eddie."

"Can’t believe, I finally get to have you like this," Eddie agrees and Buck can’t help himself but lean down to kiss him. They breathe heavily into each other’s mouth, the movement sending sparks over their bodies. "Buck, baby, please move," Eddie pants, his hips twitching involuntarily. 

He presses another peck to Eddie’s lips before sitting back up and beginning to move in earnest. 

From this moment on, the haze of lust and love has Buck in a tight grip. After only a few thrusts he’s already getting close, the fact that he finally has Eddie like this fueling his orgasm like nothing else. His grinding movements turn sloppy fast, the sensation of Eddie inside him too overpowering.

Eddie’s grip on his waist is searing hot and so, so good. On his next thrust up to meet Buck’s down move, he changes something and there it is. 

"Fuck, fuck, right there, Eddie, yes, please, this is it, fucking me so well," he cries out as he doubles down on his own thrusts, chasing the feeling on his prostate, searching for the sweet, sweet release while never wanting to let go of the feeling of Eddie so close to him. 

"Ugh, you’re doing so fucking well for me, baby. Riding me like a fucking champ. I’m so lucky."

"I’m so close, Eddie. Please, make me come, please, fuck." Even before Buck has whined the last word, Eddie’s hand comes up to wrap around his dick, stroking him hard and fast, as he snaps up his hips. Buck is a blubbering mess at this point, not a coherent thought left in his head. Somehow he’s waiting for some –

"Come for me, baby." On command, he’s painting Eddie’s chest with streaks on streaks of pearly white cum, his moans and whimpers reverberating all around the loft. "Yes, that’s it, god you feel amazing and you look even better coming on my cock. Fuck, baby."

 Buck rides out his orgasm, his hands finding Eddie’s intertwining them with each other as he slowly comes back to himself. 

"You are a fucking vision," Eddie presses out through clenched teeth, "I’m so close –"

Suddenly, there is a new kind of urge erasing everything else in Buck’s brain. A fantasy that has been living in his mind for what feels like an eternity, a dream he recently had, that he never thought would come true. He stops the movement of his hips, one of his hands coming up to touch Eddie’s cheek. "Don’t come yet."

Eddie looks at him with wide, incredulous eyes. "Wha-"

"Don’t come yet," Buck repeats, "I wanna do something. Do you trust me?"

"Of course I do."

"Good," Buck smiles giddily and leans down to press another kiss to Eddie’s lips. Eddie groans at the different pressure on his dick, "if you keep that up, there won’t be any need for whatever you have in mind, baby."

Buck giggles against Eddie’s lips before sitting back up. "Oh, sorry." Eddie gives him an unimpressed look before shaking his head fondly. "This is not how good boys should behave."

Buck’s stomach swoops as his dick twitches slightly and he quickly but carefully gets off of Eddie’s dick. 

"I’m gonna roll the condom off now, okay?" He asks quietly, checking if Eddie is good with it before pulling it off slowly. Still, a splotch of precum bubbles up and adds to the glistening wetness. Buck leans down and licks it off before he knows what he’s doing. Eddie hisses at the sudden contact. "Buck."

"Sorry, baby. Turn around for me, please?"

Eddie scrunches his nose in confusion for a moment but relents nonetheless. As soon as he’s turned around, Buck grabs a pillow and taps Eddie’s hip to put the pillow underneath him. A soft groan leaves his mouth at the new pressure on his cock. 

For a second, Buck pauses and admires the gorgeous sight in front of him. Eddie’s ass is a fucking masterpiece. "Beautiful," he breathes as his hands begin to explore. He shuffles closer, and kneels between Eddie’s thighs, hands grabbing the cheeks to pull them apart. 

A soft oh sound leaves Eddie. "Stop me, if you don’t like it?" Buck whispers before diving right in. His tongue finds Eddie’s rim, as he begins to explore Eddie’s most private parts. The other tenses for a split second before he melts into the mattress, his hips twitching against the pillow, effectively humping the fabric. 

Encouraged by Eddie’s reaction, Buck gets more daring. Kitten licks and kisses turn into a tongue that is probing Eddie’s rim, hoping to loosen it up enough to push in fully. 

Eddie’s moans get louder and louder, the quicker Buck moves his tongue. Spit is dribbling down his mouth, turning everything wet and filthy. Buck grips Eddie’s waist for leverage as he pulls him up into a kneeling position, Eddie somehow knows what he wants from him as he pulls himself up on all fours, copying Buck’s position from earlier. Like this, Eddie’s arch is possibly even more insane, giving Buck more room for his ministrations. 

He begins to eat Eddie out in earnest. As soon as his hole is loose enough, Buck pushes his tongue in, exploring the tight, hot walls. 

"Fuck, baby. What are you doing to me? You’re driving me fucking crazy. This goddamn tongue, Christ. Fuck, right there," he babbles, his hips grinding against the pillow quick and hard. "I’m gonna come, fuck, baby, I’m close."

Buck, too busy to reply, just taps his flank gently and flicks his tongue quicker. One, two, three licks later Eddie swears loudly and comes into the pillow. His hole flutters wildly as Buck hums happily. 

Buck presses a kiss to Eddie’s cheek, making the other laugh, before pulling back and offering Eddie the space to turn around. 

As soon as Eddie is back on his back, Buck shuffles up to him, and cuddles into his side. Eddie still tries to catch his breath but immediately pulls him in his arm, his nose nuzzling right into the unruly curls. Buck sighs happily as Eddie presses a loving kiss to his head. 

"God, I love you so much," Eddie says dreamily. Buck turns his head to look at him, brown eyes filled with love and happiness. 

"I love you too," Buck replies. He lifts himself up for another kiss. He caresses Eddie’s cheek gently and adds, "thank you for lending me a hand and giving me your heart."

Eddie laughs loudly as he pulls them both down into a comfortable cuddle. "Well, what else are best friends for?"

"You are such an idiot," Buck rolls his eyes, slapping his chest gently. 

"Well maybe, but I am your idiot."

"And I am yours."

And if Buck’s first day back at work is filled with teasing laughter and a lot of I told you so’s it really isn’t that bad because well … he has Eddie right there next to him, his heart cradled protectively in his boyfriend's hands. As it turns out Eddie’s hands are useful in more ways than one and Buck will never let them go ever again.