Chapter Text
Katsuki Bakugou has been single since somewhere around middle school, and his friends are determined to change that. Katsuki, Mina, Denki, and Eijirou, were at their occasional friend-group dinner.
Mina decided to strike up a conversation.
"Katsuki, isn't it funny how you've been single since middle school?" Mina starts.
"Eh?" Katsuki replies, "No, not really. I don't care for nor do I have the time for a relationship."
"C'mon man, it couldn't hurt to get back into dating. It doesn't even have to be anything serious! You could just go on a few dates every now and then." Eijirou adds.
"I'm not going on any fucking dates. I don't have the time, and I don't have the energy." Katsuki argued.
"Katsuki." Mina groaned.
"Mina." Katsuki replied dryly.
"Dude, we'll literally do anything. You're so miserable on your own and it's obvious." Denki began.
"I'm not miserable. I'm just cold. That's how I am." Katsuki urged.
Mina scoffed, "You're miserable. Please? Just one date?"
Katsuki groaned, "Fine! I'll go on a stupid date if it'll get you assholes to shut your mouths."
"Yay!" Mina squealed, "I know just who to send you to."
"Hah? Fuck is that supposed to mean?" Katsuki questioned.
"Means I'm sending you to a matchmaker." Mina said, emphasizing the word 'matchmaker' with jazz hands.
"I'm not going to a fucking matchmaker, Mina. You said one date." Katsuki argued.
Mina rolled her eyes, "Well, I want it to be the best date you've ever been on, so that you'll want to go on more, obviously!"
"I agreed to one. No matter how much I tolerate the person, though I doubt that’s even going to happen, I'm not going on another one." Katsuki scoffed.
"Sure." Mina teased, "Anyways, I'm sending you to Izuku."
Katsuki almost choked on air, "The fuck did you just say to me?"
Mina smiled, "He's the best matchmaker I know, cmon, please?"
"I'm not going to Deku for dating advice. I haven't seen the damn nerd since high school." Katsuki snapped.
"Well, sucks to suck, you are. And it could be good to catch up with him after all this time!" Mina takes a sip of her drink.
"God, you're insufferable.." Katsuki complained.
"Does this mean you'll go?" Mina grinned.
"I guess." Katsuki sighed.
"Ahh!! Thank you so much I swear I'll never ask for anything again!" Mina exclaimed.
Katsuki scoffed, "Now that's just a flat out lie."
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Katsuki reluctantly finds himself at Izuku's porch, knocking on the door.
Izuku opens the door with a smile that almost immediately drops into a look of shock at the sight of Katsuki.
"K-Kacchan..??" Izuku stammers.
"Yeah." Katsuki sighs, turning his head to the side.
"Why...Why are you here..?" Izuku mutters.
"A certain dumbass decided I need you to help with my fucking dating life or whatever." Katsuki stated.
"Oh- Uhm- Come inside.." Izuku hesitantly opens the door a bit wider for Katsuki.
Katsuki steps inside, taking in the decor of Izuku's home.
"Just this way." Izuku leads him into a room that isn't held shut with doors, but curtains. Basically the stereotypical fortune teller room in all those movies.
Izuku sits down, Katsuki follows soon after.
"Uh- Just- Just fill out this form." Izuku hurriedly passes him a paper and a pen, quickly looking away.
"Why do you seem so fucking panicky?" Katsuki scoffs.
"What?" Izuku laughs nervously, "I'm not panicky, just uh- shocked to see you..? I mean, after all these years its-..refreshing in a way? It's nice to see your face again I guess-"
"Is that so?" Katsuki replies genuinely, yet coming off as disinterested.
"Sorry- I'm probably talking too much- Just- I- Sorry. I'll shut up." Izuku smiles awkwardly.
"No no, keep talking." Katsuki says, not looking up from the paper.
"W-what..?" Izuku responds.
"I said keep talking." Katsuki flips the paper over, filling out the other side.
"I- Uhm-.." Izuku stammers, finding the right words. "How have you been since, y'know, high school?"
"Decent. All my friends think I'm 'miserable' just because I'm single. It pisses me off." Katsuki grips the pen a slight bit tighter.
"Well, I'm sure I can get that problem fixed for you." Izuku smiles.
"Doubt it, but you can try." Katsuki replies, handing back the paper after finishing the last section. "So, what's the process or whatever?"
Izuku takes the form, "I'll look over this, then look over the rest of the forms, and see if I can find someone that I think you would get along with! When I do, I'll contact you and the person so that you two can find possibilities for a date."
"Sounds simple enough." Katsuki sets the pen down.
"Mhm!" Izuku sticks the pen in the small cup it came from.
"Do I just.. go..?" Katsuki points behind him with his thumb, gesturing towards the door.
"Uh-Yeah- See you later!" Izuku smiles, placing Katsuki's form in his desk drawer.
"See ya." Katsuki gets up, waving and turning to walk out.
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Later that day, Katsuki’s groupchat, that he doesn’t even remember the purpose of, starts badgering him with questions.
Mina : “HIIIIII omg omg I NEEEEEEDDD to know how it went katsuki im so deadass PLEASE”
Denki : “ong like did he find someone for you or is it like a billion year process bc if so we MIGHT need to tell izuku to shut his trap and we can go find someone for you ourselves”
Mina : “Word”
Mina : “Katsuki if you don’t reply in the next 3 milliseconds I’m GOING to walk my ass all the way to your house and punch your face in.”
Katsuki : “What the fuck is the problem with the both of you”
Katsuki : “You both need serious mental help”
Mina : “Tell us how it went before that threat becomes a promise”
Katsuki : “What the fuck am I supposed to say”
Katsuki : “ ‘wow it was amazing he found me the perfect one I’m forever grateful’…?”
Mina : “Precisely”
Katsuki : “No I was joking you couldn’t even fucking pay me to say some shit like that.”
Denki : “Ts pmo”
Katsuki : “YOU pmo”
Mina: “That’s wild”
Katsuki : “You too”
Mina : “WHAT THE HELL DID I DO”
Katsuki : “You sent me to a matchmaker”
Katsuki : “That was your first mistake”
Katsuki : “Your second was revealing that said matchmaker was Izuku fucking Midoriya”
Mina : “Oh please that’s not even bad. You need SERIOUS help with your romantic life”
Katsuki : “No I do not.”
Eijirou : “I don’t even wanna try to involve myself in this”
Mina : “No come get involved”
Mina : “Preferably right now”
Eijrou : “Kill me please”
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Katsuki arrives home from work one day and suddenly a message from an unknown number pops up on his phone screen.
”I think I found someone.”