Chapter Text
“Taki?”
“What is it? I'm trying to sleep.”
“That's a rare sentence from you.”
Taki rolls her eyes amidst the dark room, “Get on with it.”
“How do you feel about kids?”
Taki pauses. Was this really a conversation they should be having when they're only 15 and haven't even gotten past their 1st year of high school? They haven't even dated for longer than half a year yet.
“I guess they're fine. Cute sometimes.” Taki rolls over to face Umiri, “What about you?”
“I believe we are like-minded on this.”
“...So, why'd you ask?”
“Simply wanted to know if you wanted them.”
“I mean, I guess? It doesn't sound like a horrible way to spend the rest of my life doing.”
“I see.”
“It's not like you want to get pregnant, though.”
“You're right. I would rather not.”
Taki feels guilty for some strange reason.
Damn, inferiority complex.
Before she can wrestle those feelings down, her thoughts slip out, “Sorry, I can't get pregnant either.”
“That's a strange thing to apologize for and not exactly what I was thinking.”
Now she feels awkward, “Right… yeah…”
Umiri lightly touches Taki’s cheek before running her fingers through the brunette's hair, “You are great as you are.”
Taki can't help but blush. Umiri cannot just say such an embarrassing thing with that serious look on her face. Taki knows that everything Umiri says is something she herself believes. She's never once lied to Taki—not that Umiri is even capable of it.
“Goodnight, Taki.”
“Wait, that's all you wanted to ask?”
“Yes, unless there's something you want to ask me?”
“No, whatever, let's go to sleep.”
Then Taki was enveloped in a big hug.
Umiri was unexpectedly way more touchy than one would think—even Taki was surprised. Umiri would hold her hand every time they were together, become Taki's personal lap pillow during lunch (something Taki would never admit that she adores). All the not-touching they did before they were dating was quickly overshadowed but how much they touch now.
Taki wouldn't describe herself as touchy; she is far from it, really. But she didn't hate Umiri’s touchiness. It was nice to know she was loved in more ways than one. They weren’t the type of couple to say “I love you,” nor did Taki think that they were going to become that way. And she's okay with that; she's more than content with their current relationship.
She closes her eyes; the all-nighters were starting to get to her.
♡
The next day was a Saturday, and as Taki was planning to stay with Umiri the whole weekend, she was doing her best to get started on a new song.
Umiri had left an hour prior to pick up some things from the store and to get some takeout. Taki had an inkling feeling about Umiri's dietary habits being less than healthy, even if they were protein shakes. But relying solely on protein shakes for sustenance was definitely not healthy. And sure, Taki wasn’t one to talk when she could barely sleep. But it’s not like she couldn’t sleep; she just had things that took priority over sleeping. So, as Umiri forced her to sleep, she was going to make Umiri eat real food.
After a good while of losing herself in the music composition software (and Instagram reels), she almost missed the opening of the door.
“I'm back, Taki.”
“Oh, hey—“ Taki's eyes focus on the very not take-out shaped baby carrier in Umiri’s hand. “What the fuck is that?”
“Our new daughter.”
“You're fucking with me.” Taki takes off her headphones and stands up. Now she can see a swaddled baby in the carrier, “Umiri, kidnapping is a crime!”
“I didn't kidnap her. I bought her.”
“HUMAN TRAFFICKING ISN'T ANY BETTER??!”
“It's not like that either. She is genetically our child.”
Taki furrows her brows, “That's impossible.”
“It is very possible.” Umiri puts down the carrier on the floor and rummages through the other bags she's carrying, “Her birth certificate.”
Taki takes the very official-looking birth certificate, “What the fuck did you do, Umiri?!”
“Nothing. I just found a place that made it possible to have kids with no pregnancy involved. I'm not entirely sure how it works, but she looks like you.”
“Return here where you got her! This is obviously bait, Umiri! We're going to go to jail!”
Umiri thinks, “No, I don't believe so. They can't take a kid that is ours.”
“Oh my God! Is it going to take a blood test to convince you that it's not possible for us to be her parents!”
Umiri rummages through the bag once again, “I also got her this panda onesie.”
Before Taki realized, she had the onesie in her hands, “Oh my God, it's so cute. We should put her in it right now—STOP DISTRACTING ME!”
Their less-than-peaceful conversation was then interrupted by a loud wail from the newborn.
“You woke her up.”
“I can see that, Umiri.” Taki huffs and doesn't puff and doesn't blow the house away.
Umiri puts down the rest of her bags and unbuckles the baby from the carrier. The baby seems to cry even harder in Umiri's arms.
“I am not entirely sure how to deal with this, Taki.”
“No shit, Umiri! I don't know either! Why did you get a baby when we don't even know how to take care of one!”
“You said you wanted one.”
“I SAID IT DIDN'T SOUND BAD, BUT I THOUGHT YOU WERE ASKING FOR WHEN WE'RE OLDER??!”
The baby starts wailing louder (and not the Roselia song like Taki would prefer).
“She got your genes, Taki.”
“That is not a compliment.”
“I believe I would prefer it if both the women in my life yelled at me.”
“You're so fucking weird, Umiri.”
“I suppose.”
The screaming was starting to dig way too deep into Taki's nerves, “Try rocking her or something.”
“Why would I hit her with a rock? Now you're the one trying to commit a crime, Taki.”
“Not what I meant!” Taki groans, “Sway your body!”
“Alright.” Umiri begins to gently rock the baby—not in the violent way that Umiri suggested earlier—but in the way parents usually do. However, the baby's cries don't stop. “It is not working.”
Taki rubs her temples; the incoming headache was already becoming too much to deal with. “When was the last time she ate?”
“Oh, right, they need to do that.”
“Umiri—”
“Does grilled chicken work?”
“Umiri, she's a newborn she can't eat solids!”
“They can't?”
“No!”
“I didn't know that. Maybe that's why the cashier gave me complimentary baby formula.”
“Oh my God, why didn't you think to use that before the chicken?!”
“Chicken sounds more appetizing than powder.”
“You drink protein shakes every day!”
“Oh, right. I forgot.” Umiri says way too matter-a-factly.
“Umiri!”
“How do we make the baby formula?”
“Uh…” Taki pauses, wracking her brain, “That part I don't know… I'll Google it.”
“How did you know they can't eat solids but don't know how to make formula?”
“Ugh, I don't know.” Taki pulls out her phone, searching for her question, “Tomori used to talk about baby animals, which included baby humans. It just stuck in my head, I guess.”
“Oh, makes sense.”
Quickly, Taki fills the nearby kettle and starts it before opening the box, revealing at least 6 containers of baby formula. “The cashier really gave this all as complimentary?”
“Yes, as well as this baby carrier, some baby toys, and some baby outfits.”
“That's so sketchy, Umiri.”
“She seemed nice,” Umiri shrugs, “She said I could come back for anything else I needed.”
“THEN RETURN THE BABY!?!??!”
“The cashier said no returns.”
Taki almost wants to bash her head into the nearby concrete wall, but she resists. Umiri would probably kill this baby by accident if Taki wasn't here.
Soon, the kettle alerts that it's done with a click.
Taki moves the hot water into a mug and puts it in the freezer. “Okay, we gotta wait for the water to cool a bit, so uh… what bags did you put the baby bottles in?”
“I may have forgotten that at the store.”
“Fuck!”
Before Taki can start scolding Umiri, a knock rings on the door.
“Who the fuck is that?”
“I do not know. I didn't invite anyone besides you here.”
Taki opens the door to find a fully built baby crib with a couple of other baby items inside of it. Taki looks out in the hallway but there's no sign of the person that delivered it—is what Taki thought before she caught sight of the brown hair and green eyes of Hanazono Tae from the hit girls band, Poppin’ Party and past temporary member of Raise A Suilen, peeking from the corner.
“Why the fuck is she in an Amazon uniform? Amazon doesn't even take workers under 18!”
“I don't work for Amazon! I work for Mikuzon!”
“Like Hatsune Miku?!” Taki yells back.
Tae covers her mouth, her eyes widened. Then she starts running away, “I can't tell you more!”
“What the actual fuck.”
Taki looks back at the baby items. One of the items, Taki notices, is the baby bottles she was about to kill Umiri about.
“Did you order this?”
Umiri takes a moment to think, “Not this time.”
“What the fuck? Is this a fucking social experiment or something?”
“Not that I know of.”
The baby's cries were really making Taki's fuse short (which it already was, but more so now).
“How are you so calm?!”
Umiri shrugs, “I am just like this. Plus, I've developed quite the tolerance to loud noises after all my bands.”
Taki huffs, looking at the new baby supplies that have arrived, “A pacifier! Maybe this will quiet her down while she waits for food!”
Taki attempts to take the pacifier out of the packaging, failing a couple of times in her haste.
Finally, she pulls it out and quickly walks back to Umiri and the baby. She attempts to get the baby to accept the pacifier, but every time she manages to get the pacifier in the baby's mouth, the baby immediately squirms away and continues crying.
“God dammit.” Taki frowns, “I thought babies loved pacifiers! That's why there are so many videos of them being impossible to wean off of them!”
“Maybe our daughter is just unique.”
“If she really is related to us, she got that from you.”
“It's an honour.”
Taki rolls her eyes and checks on the water, finding it just warm enough. She takes it out of the freezer and quickly unpackages the new baby bottles that spawned. She quickly cleans them from any possible residue that may have been left and wipes it dry. Then she pours the warm water inside the bottle, then the powder, and shakes it as best she can.
“This better fucking make her shut up.”
“Such crude words for her to hear.”
“Shut up, Umiri. I'm getting too irritated for this.”
Once thoroughly shaken, like a milkshake that brings all the boys to the yard, Taki tests the temperature of the milk on her skin. She deems it as warm enough and hands the bottle to Umiri.
The baby luckily latches onto the bottle quickly, suckling the milk out of it. Guess she really was just hungry. Being born is tough work!
Taki takes a sigh of relief, plopping on the couch, “I thought it would never end.”
“You did a good job, Taki.”
“Yeah, yeah.”
“You make a good mom.”
“I was not meant to be a mom this young!” She huffs.
“You're still doing amazing.”
Taki blushes, “Stop flirting with me, I'm still mad at you.”
“If that's what you want.”
Truthfully, it wasn't but Taki needed a break from noise for the next while.
That next while would never come, though, as the baby unlatched from the bottle and began her wailing once again.
“I'M GOING TO KILL YOU, UMIRI.”
“Please don't leave our daughter fatherless.”