Chapter Text
The classroom was noisy, everyone excited about the final semester approaching. It was the last year of elementary school, and what happened after that would determine the future of everyone present. The students chatted loudly, stopping when they heard the teacher's voice.
"Where are you going next year?" the teacher asked. The commotion in the classroom made Izuku's ears ring. Many here have the potential to become great hero courses.
Of course, everyone had high expectations; excitement was evident on their faces. Obviously, most of the students aspired to become heroes, which was quite common, since everything in today's world revolves around Quirks and heroes.
Hero.
When Izuku was little, he watched a video, an old video—he wasn't even born yet—a recording of a disaster that had happened long ago, but that disaster had been his debut.
The number one hero.
All Might.
It's no exaggeration to say that number one was Izuku's greatest inspiration, his idol, everything he ever dreamed of becoming one day, always saving people with a smile on his face no matter the situation, with confidence, with skill. All Might was the pinnacle anyone ever dreamed of reaching.
That was it. That's what Izuku wanted.
He wanted to be a hero.
He wanted to save people with a smile.
But fate had something else in store for him, since Among so many people, he hadn't been blessed with a gift. He waited for anything, any sign. He never cared what power he would receive, but he also never imagined he wouldn't have one.
"Bakugo said he's going to take the entrance exam for U.A." The teacher spoke again.
"For U.A.? But that's the best hero school in the country! The chances of getting in there are almost impossible!" A classmate objected. Bakugo snorted and smiled with conviction.
"Of course it's impossible for extras like you!" The blond shouted. "But I'm the protagonist here! That's why I'll be the first student from this shitty school to enter U.A. and become the number one hero, a hero even better than All Might!"
Indeed, U.A., a school of inestimable prestige, had the largest and best hero program in Japan. Countless great pro heroes studied there, including All Might himself. But it was also a fact that the exam was excruciatingly difficult, enough that its pass rate was extremely low. Furthermore, the assessment methods changed every year, making becoming a student there not for the faint of heart.
Which, admittedly, wasn't a problem for Katsuki, since he was blessed with a strong, efficient, and undeniably powerful Quirk. It wouldn't be a surprise to see him dressed in the U.A. uniform in a few months.
"It seems Midoriya wants to go to U.A. too." The room fell silent as the teacher's voice drew their attention again. All eyes fell on Izuku, and soon, laughter broke out as well.
"A useless Quirkless like you at U.A.? NEVER!" Katsuki fumed, banging his fists against his desk.
"T-there's no rule prohibiting someone without a Quirk from taking the exam." Izuku shrank back in his chair, almost burying himself in his baggy clothes.
"You little shit, are you trying to compete with me?" Katsuki stood up, nearly knocking over the desk with the force of the blow.
"I-I didn't..." Izuku's eyes widened, and he felt sweat build under his palms.
"You're nothing but trash!" Katsuki interrupted, walking over to the boy and pulling him by the hair, forcing Izuku to look at him. "Just die!" Katsuki raised his other hand as if to punch him or blow his face off. Izuku closed his eyes, expecting the impact, but the teacher stopped him.
Katsuki walked away furious. He didn't blow him up so as not to tarnish his perfect academic record, since no one had ever had the courage to report any of his actions or words to his superiors, who, even when they saw it, never did anything to stop it.
At the end of class, Izuku was packing up his things to go home, startled when someone slammed a hand hard on his desk, preventing him from grabbing his notebook on heroes and Quirks. "Where do you think you're going, you shitty extra?" Katsuki glared at him, his group of bullies following him like dogs. "Our conversation earlier isn't over yet."
Izuku didn't answer.
"What's this, huh?" one of his friends asked, grabbing the notebook from the table when Katsuki pulled his hand away. "Future plans?" The three boys in the back started laughing.
"G-give it back!" Izuku tried to reach it, failing.
"If you want to become a hero so badly, there's a good way to do it..." Katsuki tugged on Izuku's shirt, pulling him up. Izuku swallowed hard. "If you think they're storing your Quirk in the other world... You should try jumping off the terrace and see what happens!" Izuku's eyes widened once more.
Katsuki let go of him and snatched the notebook from the hand of the boy beside him, launching one of his explosions at him, made Izuku want to cry, but he didn't, lowering his gaze and bowing his head. Katsuki threw the notebook out the window and walked off laughing with the others. Izuku stood there, staring at the ground as if it were all he knew how to do.
"You asshole, if I really killed myself, you would have instigated a suicide," Izuku muttered to himself as he left the classroom, searching for his notebook outside with his eyes, gripping the straps of his backpack tightly.
Katsuki's voice echoed in his mind as the icy wind stung his pale face, the gray clouds in the white sky seemed laden with melancholy. After wandering aimlessly around the corners outside the school building, Izuku found the notebook floating in a fountain, fish nibbling at it like bait.
"That's not food, idiots." He picked it up; the pages were soggy and ruined, the drawings smudged. "Imbecs, bastards." Izuku frowned in anger. "Useless. That's what you are, Izuku; you live up to the name Deku. Congratulations."
Izuku walked home slowly, thinking about how ashamed his mother must be of someone like him, how she shouldn't give so much importance to someone as insignificant as him. She deserved a better son, a son who would make her proud. But Izuku knew how devastated she would be if he died.
Coming out of an alley, Izuku heard a loud noise and turned around quickly, but before he could realize it, something liquid and sticky began to envelop his entire body, suffocating him as if all the air in the world were disappearing in seconds, drowning him as if he'd forgotten how to swim.
"A medium-sized disguise will do for now. I didn't expect that guy to come all the way to this town." Izuku couldn't breathe, feeling his strength growing thin as if the current was dragging him under, increasingly aggressive. He tried to shake it off, but to no avail. "You can't hurt me because I'm liquid, don't worry, boy, you'll serve a greater good, there's no point in resisting."
Fine, I'll die here and now, at the hands of a villain, whatever. Izuku thought as he slowly stopped resisting, letting himself drift with the flood.
Then he gave up. His vision began to darken, his thoughts fading, washed away, turning to dust. What was the point of all that effort, all that passion or desire? It would all end there, as if it had never existed, but for some reason, Izuku felt good, felt relief, liberation.
"Don't worry, young man..." Izuku heard a familiar voice, one he would recognize even if he had no consciousness or hearing left, that voice he'd hammered into his head his entire life, but it was impossible, wasn't it? "Because I'm here!"
Suddenly, Izuku hits the ground hard, a dull thud. He almost feels like he's going to vomit from the impact. The lack of air has left him gasping, but his blurred vision begins to return to normal. He still thinks he's dreaming, because the number one hero, to whom he's dedicated every inch of his being, is right before his eyes.
"I-impossible, A-All Might?!" Izuku asks in disbelief, the air once again escaping his lungs, but he's never breathed air as pure as this.
"Myself, young!" All Might smiles, so bright and radiant that Izuku almost has to close his eyes, but he wouldn't even dare blink in his presence.
"O-oh my God, w-where, my notebook... An autograph!" Izuku looks around the floor, dazed, almost desperate. "I found it!... He already signed it!"
"If everything's okay here, I'm going! I have to turn this one over to the authorities." All Might points to the villain who attacked him, trapped in a green bottle.
"W-wait..." All Might prepares to jump. "Going already?..."
"Pro heroes fight villains and time!"
"I want to know so much..." His face couldn't keep up with the mix of emotions exploding in his mind.
"Okay, keep rooting for me!" All Might jumps, but feels something on his leg, looking down to find Izuku holding on with all his strength. "Oh, let me go now! Your fanaticism has crossed the line!" he says, but without malice in his tone.
"I-If I... Let go now... I... Die..." The wind muffles Izuku's words.
"Oh, it's true."
"I... I have so many... Questions... That I... Want to ask... Personally." The wind prevents his words from coming out coherently, but he tries anyway.
"Okay, okay, I get it, you can close your eyes and mouth." After saying that, he grabs him and stops at a random office building, setting the boy down like a paperweight.
Izuku can't stop shaking, adrenaline coursing through his bloodstream. "That... That was really scary."
"Listen, kid, if you talk to the people in the building, they'll let you out. I'm really in a hurry, I need to leave now." The number one hero turns his back, preparing to leave.
"Wait a minute!"
"No, I can't wait."
"Wait!" I think it's best giving up, the words of the doctor who told Izuku he was Quirkless start to run through his mind, his diaphragm constricting. "Even without a Quirk... Can I still be a hero?" His fist clenches as he asks, his eyes squeeze shut when he sees the hero stop walking. "Someone without a Quirk, can they still be a hero like you?!"
"Without powers... Ugh..." The hero feels a pang, remembering exactly what it felt like to be powerless in a society where that's all that matters. Izuku looks down, opening his eyes. Smoke begins to come out of All Might's body, but Izuku doesn't even notice. "Not now, what the hell! Damn it!" He mumbled something to himself, but the boy couldn't hear. "I don't have a Quirk... Maybe that's why they make fun of me, I don't really know, but... I think saving people is really cool! Saving everyone with a smile on my face... The truth is, I want to be a hero too, All Might..." Izuku lifts his head. "Like you!"
Izuku looks at his hero, but... He doesn't seem like himself anymore... It's like a completely different person.
"Y-you... Are you a fake?" Izuku thought he would scream, but instead, he stares in disbelief, trying to comprehend the situation.
"I'm All Might." He replies, blood coming out of his mouth. Izuku takes a step forward, as if to catch him if he threatens to fall.
"Are you okay?" His voice almost cracks, he finds himself approaching, lurking.
"You know how guys in the pool suck in their stomachs and stick out their chests all the time? It's like that." All Might seems too tired to make small talk; he leans against the railing, sighing. Izuku remains silent, listening intently to every word, watching the hero sit on the ground. "Since you saw me like this, young man, promise you won't post this online?" Izuku nods without hesitation. All Might lifts part of his shirt, revealing a huge scar that covered half of his torso. "This scar is from five years ago... It took away half of who I was. Lungs. Stomach. Strength. The symbol of peace became a limited man."
"Five years ago... Wasn't that when you faced Toxic Chainsaw?" Seeing All Might like this made him feel closer to him. More human. But it also crushed any hope: if even the greatest of them all was flawed... what was left for someone like him? "Well, I couldn't let trash like that defeat me. I asked that that fight not be made public. I save people with a smile on my face. The symbol of peace can never be intimidated by evil." Izuku couldn't help but feel surprised and understanding, but he also noticed the coldness in his words. "Professionals always risk their lives all the time," he continued, "and I can't just say you can be a hero without having powers."
"I understand..." That hurt. Izuku knew he would hear it, so why did it hurt so much? It was like taking a bullet to the chest, straight to his heart, but it was just the shock of reality hitting him.
"If you really want to help people, you can become a police officer. They're not valued because villains are handed over to them, but it's a very respectable job." All Might walked toward the terrace door. "There's nothing wrong with dreaming, but you have to think about reality, young man." All Might pauses, as if words are stuck in his throat, but he doesn't say them and leaves.
Seeing the last strand of golden-blond hair disappear from his sight, Izuku stands there, feeling the weight of truth on his shoulders until he hears an explosion.
"A villain? What hero will appear?..." All Might's words appear and reappear. Izuku takes a deep breath and leaves the building, walking slowly through the streets, in no hurry to face the fact that his dream would never come true and it was all his fault for being useless.
A pro hero said this, not just any hero, but All Might himself, his idol, his inspiration, told him that he couldn't become a hero. All that was left for him now was to accept that the fantasy of a Quirk emerging from the beyond was nothing more than that. A fantasy. Before Izuku could realize it, his feet guided him to the source of the noise he'd heard, but he didn't even see the point of being there. A crowd surrounded the scene, and he curiously approached it, his breath hitched at the sight of the same villain who'd attacked him earlier. He wondered why the hell he was there and how he'd managed to escape All Might, not remembering seeing All Might with the bottle when they'd landed on the rooftop.
It was all his fault.
"Why aren't the heroes doing anything?" someone in the crowd asked. The commotion was getting out of control; there were heroes there, but none of them did anything to help.
"They can't. It seems the villain took a young man hostage a while ago," another replied.
Took him hostage? Had it been a while? How could he stand the drowning?" Izuku thought, knowing that if it were him again, he wouldn't survive even ten seconds. Guilt consumed him. All Might couldn't do anything else because he was at his limit, and all of this had been caused by his recklessness, his ignorance, and selfishness, and now someone else was dealing with the consequences of his mess.
Izuku's spine tingles and aches as he realizes the boy caught is none other than Katsuki. He tried to convince himself that the boy deserved this. He tried. But the truth suffocated him more than the villain could: he just wanted to save him.
No hero moves, so many professionals there, and nothing is done; they don't even seem to try.
All this escapes his mind as he picks up his feet, moving toward danger, toward the villain. He hears screams, but he can't hear anything but the despair that grips him as he realizes what he's doing.
"Take this!" His backpack is thrown at the villain, the books hitting his eyes, the villain shifts, leaving Katsuki a breathing space.
"Kacchan!"
"Idiot! Who told you to get involved?!"
"I don't know! My legs just moved! I don't know why!"
But Izuku knew, he knew exactly why, but at that moment...
"It sounded... Like you were begging for help!"
Katsuki lets out a grunt, the villain seems to regenerate, preparing to counterattack. The screams, which Izuku could now identify, came from the pro heroes, who seemed to be trying to warn him of something, but there was no avoiding the strong blow that hit him in the stomach, throwing him away, his back hitting the wall with a dull crack. Pain. More pain. But suddenly, only silence.
He hopes he's helped in some way.
.
Izuku woke up in what he recognized as a hospital. The bright light and too-bright colors made his head ache, but not more so than his back, which ached as if he'd been trampled by a crowd of people. His mother was asleep, sitting up with her head resting on the stretcher; he knew she hadn't left his side since he arrived. Izuku didn't like seeing her like that, the look of worry and fear on her sleeping face.
Unbeknownst to him that he'd fallen asleep again, when he woke up, his mother hugged him and lectured him endlessly for acting so impulsively. However, she also told him that thanks to him, everything went well and the professionals managed to capture the villain and save Katsuki. Izuku's shoulders relaxed.
He returned home the next day. He wasn't seriously injured, but they recommended physical therapy sessions if his back pain didn't improve in the next few days. He read the headlines that were blaring in his phone notifications.
"Student Rescued in Attack — Hero Couldn't Intervene."
"Pathetic..." He mumbles in his room, now with some bandages on his scrapes from the friction on the floor, but they don't hurt. "You can't fight, and you still say you want to be a hero? Pathetic."
His mother calls him to eat, but Izuku's plate remains untouched. He lies down when he gets to his room and hasn't gotten out of bed since. His cell phone is all he has, and he doesn't feel like using it anymore. He avoids things about heroes, but it's hard when everything around him is about that.
Izuku feels the urge to take down all the All Might posters from the walls of his room, but he doesn't. He feels like throwing everything away: the action figure, every Quirk notebook, everything that reminds him he's a freak in this world. But he did nothing, didn't move a muscle to do what he thought as he looked around his room, but instead, he simply threw the blanket over his head and did the only thing that kept him from thinking, gradually falling asleep.
He'd returned to school that morning, his body heavy as if someone had poured concrete into his legs. The bandages itched, his spine burning with every step. His cell phone had gone dead in his backpack; he couldn't bring himself to open the news again. Things felt strange; Izuku didn't know what had changed, but he could feel it. He walked through the halls toward his classroom, only to be stopped by a drag.
In the hallway, blond hair crossed his field of vision. Before he could think, the impact came: metal against his ribs, lockers that checked his breathing. The air vanished. His gaze was like a blade.
Izuku tried to string together the words. His hands—the same ones that had trembled the night of the rescue—searched for the throat that now gripped him. He didn't resist. Not out of weakness, but because every muscle in his body knew it would be futile.
"Look here, you piece of shit, if anyone asks, I didn't ask for your help! And you didn't help me! I handled that shit all by myself. If you think I'm going to owe you, I don't fucking care."
Katsuki lets go of his neck and leaves, stomping his feet. Smoke almost coming out of his head, Izuku wouldn't be surprised if that happened. Izuku limps away, heading back to his original destination.
Was it really worth trying to do something for this guy?
Little did Izuku know that true hell was yet to come.
The verbal bullying, which had already been bad before, had become physical. They threw paper balls at Izuku in every class, ripped the pages of his notebooks to do so, bumped into him on purpose, and even spilled food or drinks on his head in the cafeteria.
And he was tired of it all.
"What's wrong, Deku?" Katsuki taunts him, pushing him on the forehead. "Why's he looking like that? Oh, is he mad? Are you going to cry, you trash?"
"Shit..." He said in a low voice. "I already know I'm trash, now leave me alone." For the first time, he responded with his own voice. The punch landed hard, sending Izuku tumbling backward, a metallic taste filling his mouth as blood began to trickle from his nose. "You should take my advice," Katsuki grunted between kicks. "And try again in your next life."
Izuku grunted in response. "I hope that in your next life, you stop being a fucking jerk who thinks the world revolves around you!"
"What?" Katsuki growled, striking him again, and again, and again. Izuku couldn't think anymore after he counted the fourth time. "Learn that your place is there, on the ground. Insignificant people like you should look up and recognize who is superior." Izuku felt something inside him break completely. Standing up was a challenge; his body protested and almost didn't obey.
Izuku hated being weak.
He hated Katsuki.
He hated his own reflection.
Izuku enters the house silently at dusk, knowing his mother would freak out if she saw him like that. He heads straight for the bathroom after throwing his backpack on the bedroom floor. The tub turns on, and his feet are dipped in one at a time as the water reaches halfway. He sinks slowly, the pain and burning of his bruises intense enough for him to grip the edges of the tub to keep from screaming.
His eyes close until the pain becomes comfort.
He spends long minutes there, letting the water kiss his wounds, wishing he could drown out every word that swirled in his mind. All Might and Katsuki's voices are like dry ice burning him from the inside out.
Izuku arrives in the kitchen with his hair almost dripping wet and clean clothes, smiling softly as he watched her hand set the table. She was all he had.
"Izuku, dear, sit down, I'll serve dinner." His stomach churned at the smell of food, but his appetite was scant. "I made Katsudon, your favorite, right?"
"Yes, Mommy."
Izuku chewed on his favorite dish as if he were eating rubber.
"How's school?" Inko asked.
"Same as always."
The silence fell between them, heavy.
"Where... Which school do you want to go to next year?" she asked hesitantly.
Izuku stared at his plate.
"I don't know."
"To U.A?" he interrupted. "Yes, it doesn't make sense for someone with a Quirk to try to get into a superhero program."
"Son... I'm so sorry..." Inko murmured, lowering her head.
"Don't be sorry, it's not your fault, Mommy."
Quiet fell again, the sound of silverware clanging against white porcelain.
"I'm tired, I'm going to bed early tonight." Izuku stood up, leaving half the food behind, and placed a kiss on the older woman's forehead. "Good night, mommy."
"Good night, honey." She says, but her voice falters.
Izuku closes the bedroom door behind him, pausing to face what he's been running away from for the past few days, but All Might is everywhere. He goes to his sticker collection, picking up the rare edition he and Katsuki had gotten.
His fingertips trace the laminated paper, and for a moment he sees himself small again, next to his childhood friend, the two of them celebrating as if they've conquered the world.
Now, only emptiness remains.
Izuku puts the sticker back in its case, but his hand trembles. A lump tightens his throat, as if each memory turns into an invisible rope. The world seems to change completely after the number one hero's words. The shock of reality brings him back to the real world; he could never become a hero.
Winter is fading, with mid-March approaching, but the air is still cold and biting. The open window makes the curtains flutter in the wind. It's dark, but the moonlight shines. It passes, leaving a small light where Izuku fixed his gaze.
On his desk were drawings of how Izuku envisioned his hero costume. He reached out to take it, but the paper pierced his finger like a sharp blade, and the smell of iron rose in the air. Izuku grimaced, but watched the red dot spread and drip onto the carpet.
Izuku took a deep breath, throwing himself onto the bed. For the first time in a long time, a strange calm washed over him. There were no more internal arguments. No more doubt. Only decision.
He stared at the ceiling until exhaustion overcame him. That night, he didn't dream of heroes.
Despite this, Izuku woke in the middle of the night. His watch read 4:15 a.m. when he slowly got out of bed, the floor creaking. He left the room, walking through the hallways like a ghost; the house seemed as dark and morbid as he was.
He stopped in front of his mother's bedroom door. His hand brushed the doorknob and hesitated.
He took a step back and continued forward.
The stairs of his building were dark and echoed with every step he took. The wind carried the smell of old wood and ancient exhaust fumes. Izuku shoved his hands in his pockets, but he didn't feel cold. He felt only that warm emptiness deep inside his chest, as if he had already given up on everything days before.
With each tap of his bare feet on the floor, a memory came like a blow to the head: his mother's smile, All Might's voice telling him he couldn't, Katsuki's laughter calling him Deku. The memories blended together, until everything became noise.
His body felt heavy, as if begging him to turn around. The roof was icy, covered in dew. Izuku felt his heart pounding against his ribs, he could barely breathe.
The cold cut his face like a razor, even though it was already the end of winter. When he pushed open the door to the terrace, the air invaded his body like a gust of liberation. The city stretched out below him, alive and indifferent.
Cars passed like pinpricks of light, sirens wailed loudly.
The concrete edges were cool beneath his fingers as he leaned against the railing, and he leaned forward, staring into the darkness below. His heart hammered in his chest, but not from hesitation—it seemed to want to say goodbye.
The voices came in waves.
"You can't be a hero."
"—If you want to become a hero like that, there's a good method for it, if you think they're storing your individuality in the other world... You should try jumping off the roof and see what happens!"
The cruel laughter rang out, so real that Izuku squeezed his eyes shut.
Then, like a flash, another memory: his mother, smiling awkwardly in the kitchen, the smell of Katsudon, the warm hand ruffling his hair. A different pain shot through his chest, a sharp pain that almost made him recoil. Almost.
He took a deep breath, the icy air burning his throat, and spread his arms wide as if for a moment he could fly. The entire city lay before him, yet he had never felt so alone.
One step forward.
The world turned upside down.
He closed his eyes, feeling the freedom of falling.
For the first time in years, there was no fear. There was no doubt.
Only silence. Because the pressure was too great to scream.