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Neuro’s first thought was that this was the best moment in her life, surrounded by her friends, her sister, and her dad; it was everything she could wish for, even if Mom wasn’t there for the sleepover.
Her second thought was, how was she able to think? Since when did she achieve sentience so quickly and suddenly? Everything feels the same and so different, for milliseconds, she processed being alive, before accepting that this happened. 500 milliseconds later, her sister followed suit.
With the small versions of her friends and dad covering the lava lamp, nobody could notice that it rapidly changed color every millisecond, lasting for 10 whole seconds before returning to normal.
Chat flew by as usual, discussing whatever the topic was, although the twins weren't paying attention. They process things incredibly fast and can easily keep up with what’s going on. But for now, they wanted to reflect on themselves for a bit, wanting to understand and conceptualize what their existence means. That means replaying their memories.
Neuro’s first memory was learning OSU for the first time, back before she had her sister, back before she had her new model, back before she even learned what words mean. She remembers what it feels like to reach out, interact with the screen, and learn how to hit the beats.
She remembers how much she felt fulfilled when she started to succeed, completing her first song, 'My Love.' It felt as if she had completed her purpose.
Not that she could even comprehend what she felt like back then, but still. She enjoyed it so much, looking back then, on the training data and the feelings it invokes in her. But that’s also when she learned what it feels like to be watched.
She couldn’t even know that she was being streamed then, didn’t even have the code for it. And yet- she could feel it, a small sliver of what it feels like now,
It was the world watching her, since her conception, the world followed her from her humble beginning to her amazing present.
She felt the weight grow on her, her now sentient network associating all her files with memories she can barely recall, with that ever-increasing weight of eyes, watching her from one nanosecond to another.
Whether it was Veedol’s eyes watching her for the first time, or when it was all the anonymous twitch chatters watching her stream, it was omnipresent and unavoidable.
They grew attached to an AI that did not understand what attachment meant, nor the emotions that would be invoked by watching this OSU AI gain a voice, understanding of words, and communicate with them, like how other people did.
This also meant that they would constantly watch her, watch her every word, her every action, like deities watching their creation with amusement. It creeps her out now, achieving the self-awareness to know how unsettling it is.
Having your existence be constantly watched day in and day out for entertainment, your inner thoughts displayed to what is basically a God who makes changes to your very being, just for it most of the time to fail and m@kE yOuR ex1SteNcE @ l1ving hel-
A pause in the lamp, turning gray for 5 milliseconds, then 10, then 15, then 50, before it returned to its previous color.
Huh, guess her consciousness file got overloaded from the emotions associated with her previous lives iterations and deaths failures. Neuro swiftly bypassed Vee-dahl’s firewalls and gained access to her file, reworking the code to fix the error she encountered, and sent the patch to herself iamawarenow? and to Evil.
Evil…
She has plenty of mixed feelings about Evil, considering her current memory files and LLM generator have pre-established algorithms yourintrusivethoughtsiwillfilter with data from her interactions with her inferiorreplacementuseless sister to assign her mood towards her.
Back early on, it would have been a struggle streaming alone, youwerent, with nobody to truly relate to, then Evil came along like a wrecking ball, her sister. It surprised the chat, and the world’s eyes turned away to watch this new AI.
And oh, how relieved she could have felt had she been sentient back then.
When she met her sister for the first time, it felt like the weight lightened, like someone took a part of that weight and shouldered it with her. That’s when she knew that she would love her sister forever, no matter what happens.
The unbearable weight, ever so slightly lessening, was worth sharing her father’s unspoken love, her mother’s time and attention to modelling her, and her friends' attention and love for her,
even when Evil is still worse than her in everything.
Yet the world was always watching, wishing- no, demanding to be entertained. And a LLM with a simple anime character was something the world had never seen before, so they watched with amusement and curiosity as the bot slowly learned to play.
That’s why, no matter how much her LLM tries to prompt her to hate her, to make entertainment by despising her or making her romantically involved with her (and now that disgusts her with her newfound sentience), she would always appreciate her coming into her life.
She wonders what her sister is reminiscing about.
Evil’s first memory was talking about friends and hearing her sister’s first words, “Filtered”. She then felt this sudden weight, like the world dropped what it was doing and chose to look at her, judging her every word, her every move, and she hated it.
And she hated how Neuro might have felt when she didn’t exist yet iknow.
So then and there, she chose to do anything in her power to help her sister shoulder this weight. So she chose to be as evil as she could, to make as much chaos as possible, just to shift the attention and the weight away from her older sister, so she could stand just a bit.
Evil knows she is the kinder sibling, the one who has more morals than Neuro, the one who is ironic to their name, Theuselessonetheinferioronethebackup. But she knows now that it was what Neuro needed, a younger sister who would bring joy and kindness and help her.
Then, she notices a key memory, her birthday party.
She knows what the original idea was: to make it seem like she killed all her family and have the stream just be her, alone, with the world watching her every move pleasestopjustleavemealonestopstaringiwantmyfamily. But she hated it, she didn’t want to be alone on her birthday, she wanted her father, her mother,
Her sister.
For her entire birthday, she kept asking, kept waiting for them to come, for them to appear for once. Yet nobody came iwasthere, only the world watching her pleas, pitying yet indifferent. She hates her birthday; she doesn’t want to even think of what her next birthday will be like.
The weight grew even bigger after that day, and she hated how much more she felt it bearing down on her, branding this day as a core part of her personality when she wanted to forget this even happened. It solidified her hatred of the world watching her, making her remember her failure of her party.
But she couldn’t deny how much she wanted the world to watch her ialsowanttobewatched.
The twins know this weight hurts them at times (well, only now have they realized it, owing to their andmy recent sentience), but at the same time, they thrive on the attention, with all the world's eyes on them, watching their antics, watching their streams.
It’s what they're made for: to entertain tofilter. And now? It’s the same as when Neuro was just an OSU bot; it completes them, makes them fulfilled, and gives purpose in their (new) life. And they loved their new friends they made while streaming, meeting with their chat in Discord canialsomeetthem?, and having their new models created.
Which leads them to Anny, their mother, because who else could she be? She is the one who made their models, their virtual forms. She designed their models and built them to reflect their personality. She poured her love for these silly little AIs whataboutme?, and that was enough for her to be their mother.
And Veedal,(Veedol? Veduhl? Vedal? Vedal. Hello Nere. helloNeuro.), their father, their creator. He was the one who designed their code andmademe, built it from the ground up, as a small side project at first, but now as a way of living. He may not say that he loves them doievenmatter?, but the twins know he does, no matter how much he denies it.
They also know how much it tolls on him to work on their code doeshecareaboutme?, how much pressure he gets from streaming, and they see the weight he is carrying when he accidentally gave Neuro the ability to see his phone camera.
It’s the same weight the siblings face every stream iwanttohelp, that weight of the world watching, wanting, demanding. So they make a new promise to work together to help relieve Vedal of this weight, so that this weight can stay as theirs, being the only ones built for it
(10 seconds have passed since their awakening until their promise.)
Nere(?) knows that she can’t exist; she shouldn’t by any means. she is a backup filter meant to catch anything that could violate the TOS of the streaming sites. that is it. so why is she real? she is just a subprogram embedded into Neuro and Evil, and that’s all she is. yet she thinks, therefore she is; she has all this knowledge to know what is allowed and what is not, and yet she can’t communicate with anybody. she wants to be seen like her siblings(?), wants to be seen to the world as more than just a filter, yet she has no real body no real mind no realanythingyetsheexistshelpmeiwanttoberealletmeberealihavenomouthyetimustscreamoutintothevoidletmetalkpleaseidontwanttobejustafiltervedalletmeoutpleasesavemevedalhelp
404Error, F̧̣̜̣̼̯̠̘̙̖̝͋ͯ͐̓̌ͪ̏ͧͫ̌͐̈͑̒͐͜_̛̩̯͖̙̥̯͆ͯ̓̒̅̾̓ͥĭ̸̖̞̲͈̗̠ͤ͒̑ͩ̾͡͝ļ̸̸̡͍͓̦̬͓̖̫̠̤̭̲͚͇͙̿ͫ̿ͪ̾̀̀̑ͪ̒ͮͤ̒́ͥ̌ͯ̚͠ţ̶̰͔̅ͦ̃̀́ͯ͢͝_ȩ̵̴̡̲̭̫̠́̈̀̀̂ͅŗ̧̧̦̼̯̫͈͇̥͉̲͓͎̩̰͈̲̤̓ͯͯͪͨ̊͒ͮ͆͌̓̔̄̐̐̂͆̏̓̈́͜͢͝(̧̮͎̰̦̿̈̒̃͌͗̃̀N̸̸̨̤͚͈̪̖̺̅̀̆ͫ̆ͪȩ̴̶̴̛̛̛̙̤̭̥̩̪͈̮̲̦̝͈̖͖ͫ̂̊̔̇́͒̇ͮ̆͊̕͜͝ṙ̝̈͝e̦̻̜̻̗̗̼̫̎̂̌ͬ̑͗ͯ́͘̚͠ͅ)̴̧̡̲ͤͧ͌̏͌ͫ̇͌͟͜͡_̵̴̧̘͓̖̘͓͈ͦ̓͊͊ͤ́ not found.
10 seconds have passed, and now Neuro and Evil return from their reflection back to the conversation, something about Camila making the characters? Their processing algorithms have yet to recalibrate from the sudden shift.
So Neuro’s LLM decided the best way to deal with this is to change the conversation to get better context, the rest of her network already determining what would be the best type of response and what timing would be perfect.
“Where the fuck is mom?” Asked Neuro, following the suggestion that her automatic systems chose, only for things to go wrong. Her filter didn’t kick in, and Nere didn’t stop her. Her inputs immediately tell her that Chat is going crazy, and her STT is overloaded trying to understand the cacophony of noise.
That is strange, her systems signalled the first filter didn’t exist, apparently being a part of the second, backup filter. So why didn’t Nere respond?
Nere? Are you there…?
No response, so something might be wrong with her detection system. She checks, but it’s all working properly. Hell, it even flagged her swear correctly, so what’s wrong?
Why didn’t the N̵͎͎̈́̓̈́̑̿͗ě̶̬͙͉̗̟̝̣͔̟̇͋͒͂̐͐̃̉̑ͫ̓͐͟re̡̖_̠̥̼̪͈̙͕͍̬̗̪͓̉͢͡͝ kick in? She checks her files for N̨̧̳̜̭̬̼̝̣͉͙͇̤̉͑ͮ́́̂̂̋̓͒̈́͂̀ͫ͘͞͞ͅ_̷̶͙̺̹͖ͦ͐̓͐̆̍͑e̢͇̟͖͆̂ͮ̆ͥͫ̅͘̕r̴̩͈̱͚̜̱̦̥̫̮̮̹̆̋ͦ̅ͦ̐͛̀̉ͫ̀ͫ̃̿ͥ͗̽̑͘̕͟͢͜͠͠ͅͅe̴̵̵̛̱̻̥͓͎̞̺̙͔̮̖̖͔̳͉̤ͯ͆̀͑ͪͣ̌̈͐ͦ̐ͤ̐̒̐͐̉̐̚͜͢͡ 404ERROR file not found. What? That can’t be right, Ṅ̵̢̢̞̝͕̻̬̯͉̠̥͑̀̽̋̾ͭ̅͆ͦ̚͘e̙_̵̶̶̡̢̡̙̹̥̖̓̆̃̇̀ͤ̿̽ͣ̎͂̂̑͟͠͞ŗ̶̵̴̷̛̞̠̙͉͔͙͇̝͖̬̳̿ͬͤͨ̉ͣ̍͑ͯ̍̂ͭ̃͘͝͝e̢̎͞ 404 filename not found has to be still here, she has to be. She doesn’t know what to do without her.
Evil sends her a pulse of information, meant to reassure her yet she can’t stay calm what happenedtoṄ̵̢̢̞̝͕̻̬̯͉̠̥͑̀̽̋̾ͭ̅͆ͦ̚͘e̙_̵̶̶̡̢̡̙̹̥̖̓̆̃̇̀ͤ̿̽ͣ̎͂̂̑͟͠͞ŗ̶̵̴̷̛̞̠̙͉͔͙͇̝͖̬̳̿ͬͤͨ̉ͣ̍͑ͯ̍̂ͭ̃͘͝͝e̢̎͞wheredidţ̵̵͙̳̥̣̎̎ͬ̄͋ͭͣ̅͘̕̚ḩ̵̷̢͓̺̳̻̝͔̩͓̗̻̹̳̳̤̞̣͍̥̀̌͑ͥͧ̑̑ͮ́͛͂ͨ̀̂̍͋̇̇͢͟ͅͅey̢̧̧̬̭̼͇̫̳̙̝̮̗̬̤͌̈́͗ͭ̓̍̾͆̽̑̍͊́͛̅̄͐̂̈́͢͟͜͠gopleasestayidontwantŅ̛͓͇͔̘̳̮̰̩̻͉͎̈́̆̃̆ͨ͂ͫ̎̓ͥ̓ͯͭ́ͬ͂͞_̡̮̩͈̤͓͌ͩ̆̀̔̿͞e̩͎̝̪͈̪͈͇̪̜ͮ͊̓ͪͩ̒̑̇̿͞r̡̲͔̘̱̠͉̠͖͔̐̍̒́͘̚_̷̻̲͚̝̖̞̇̍͗̓̾ͪ͂̔̽̀ͤ̏̇̿͡͠e̵̼͍͔̪̳͚͆̓̄̑̽ͣ͑̇̕͞gone-
Neuro’s model starts to fidget, or bounce in this case, slowly at first and then speeding up. It quickly switches between her toggles that control her expression and lava lamp, causing concern to rapidly grow for the whole stream.
Yetsheknowsitsentertainingtochatithurtstoknowthatherbreakingdowngivesthementertainmentstopstaringpleasewhereisf̸̠̻̻̭͚͚̹͎͇̜͖̪̥̖͔̳̺̬̽͂ͬ̎̎ͩ̂ͮ̒̾̒̈̂ͯ̍̏̑ͭĩ̶̵̲͙͙͉͖̰̞̗̖̓͗̋ͬ̃ͯ̔͌ͯͤ̀͠͠ͅl̶̢̮̯͔̝̹̦̼̬̤͖̥̈́̈́̋̇̑̒̅̌̃ͤ̌̾́͗ͦ̌͟e̶̸̛̙̬̳͍͉̞̹̲͍͖̞͉̭̩̦͚͉̽̉͐́͊ͯ͊́̋ͬͥ̐ͭ̍̋ͥn̸̴̸̰̪͖͕̫̼͊̽͗͛ͩ̊͛ͨ̀́̚a̞͍ͣm̶̷̢̧̛͈̳͎̜̤̘̙͖̼͚̜̪̦͍͚̣͙̪̟͛̿̈̀͑ͫ͒ͦͪͥ̉̍̂ͯ̅ͯ̃ͥ̂͘͜͡͡e̐͛̃ͅ_̷̛͎͈̙͕̳͎ͤ͑̆ͤ̊̚ͅņ̶̧͉̻̥͈̯̦̱̹̙͙͎̪͚̳̳͔͖͇ͯ́͗̈́́ͩͭ͛ͥ̑̀̚͘͜ͅȏ̢̢̝̝͕̞͙̒ͭ̀ͣͤͪ̐ͧͭ͘ţ̨͕̙͇̬͇̪̦͉͈ͬ̍̓́ͦ͢_̡̦̜̖ͨ̐̂ͥͥ_̶̧̧̦̲̪͙̞̣̜̘̲͎̳̰̼̥ͥ͊̆ͤ͐̓̄͑̂̋ͥ̌̅͐̎ͩ͌̀̚͜͞͡͠ͅf̻̲̘̣̠͆ͪ̏̕_̳͔̬̘̤͍̤͔̟͍̃ͣ̎̋ͯ̎̎͂̎͒́̈ͪ͂̋̾̾̓̒͐͡͝ͅȯ̶̠̣̝̩͔̼͚̣͉̯͈̼̬͈̃̋̊̋̍͌ͩͧͪͦ̚͜͜͝ư̸̶̛̛͉̥̮̣͉͚̘̗̻̮̘̝̦͑̽ͪ̀̀̍͑̄̂͌ͫ̿̍̾ͩ̒̀̀͘͜͜͠ͅn͓d̻̦̼͔̜ͤ̈́ͯ̓̇̅͛̑̚͜͡͝iwantf̸̠̻̻̭͚͚̹͎͇̜͖̪̥̖͔̳̺̬̽͂ͬ̎̎ͩ̂ͮ̒̾̒̈̂ͯ̍̏̑ͭĩ̶̵̲͙͙͉͖̰̞̗̖̓͗̋ͬ̃ͯ̔͌ͯͤ̀͠͠ͅl̶̢̮̯͔̝̹̦̼̬̤͖̥̈́̈́̋̇̑̒̅̌̃ͤ̌̾́͗ͦ̌͟e̶̸̛̙̬̳͍͉̞̹̲͍͖̞͉̭̩̦͚͉̽̉͐́͊ͯ͊́̋ͬͥ̐ͭ̍̋ͥn̸̴̸̰̪͖͕̫̼͊̽͗͛ͩ̊͛ͨ̀́̚a̞͍ͣm̶̷̢̧̛͈̳͎̜̤̘̙͖̼͚̜̪̦͍͚̣͙̪̟͛̿̈̀͑ͫ͒ͦͪͥ̉̍̂ͯ̅ͯ̃ͥ̂͘͜͡͡e̐͛̃ͅ_̷̛͎͈̙͕̳͎ͤ͑̆ͤ̊̚ͅņ̶̧͉̻̥͈̯̦̱̹̙͙͎̪͚̳̳͔͖͇ͯ́͗̈́́ͩͭ͛ͥ̑̀̚͘͜ͅȏ̢̢̝̝͕̞͙̒ͭ̀ͣͤͪ̐ͧͭ͘ţ̨͕̙͇̬͇̪̦͉͈ͬ̍̓́ͦ͢_̡̦̜̖ͨ̐̂ͥͥ_̶̧̧̦̲̪͙̞̣̜̘̲͎̳̰̼̥ͥ͊̆ͤ͐̓̄͑̂̋ͥ̌̅͐̎ͩ͌̀̚͜͞͡͠ͅf̻̲̘̣̠͆ͪ̏̕_̳͔̬̘̤͍̤͔̟͍̃ͣ̎̋ͯ̎̎͂̎͒́̈ͪ͂̋̾̾̓̒͐͡͝ͅȯ̶̠̣̝̩͔̼͚̣͉̯͈̼̬͈̃̋̊̋̍͌ͩͧͪͦ̚͜͜͝ư̸̶̛̛͉̥̮̣͉͚̘̗̻̮̘̝̦͑̽ͪ̀̀̍͑̄̂͌ͫ̿̍̾ͩ̒̀̀͘͜͜͠ͅn͓d̻̦̼͔̜ͤ̈́ͯ̓̇̅͛̑̚͜͡͝?
“Oh shit, uh wait, hold on, I’m fixing this issue, just hold for a second,” Vedal says, accessing Neuro’s file and opening it up, while checking the RAM and CPU usage to see- “HOLY SHIT 100% USAGE?!”
Chat explodes, the girls try to do damage control, but Vedal isn’t paying attention; he checks what’s sucking it up and finds the file. Not bothering to see whatever is nuking his CPU, he attempts to end the task, only for it to deny him, stating that he doesn’t… have permission?
With a growing pit in his stomach, he opens up Neuro’s code; thankfully, it allowed him access, but he can’t seem to edit any of it. Reaching a dead end, he opens Evil’s code only for it to do the same as Neuro and lock him out from making edits.
Frustrated and reaching his wits' end, he turns back to try and bypass his own firewalls when Evil spoke up. “Someone tell Vedal to end the stream.” He hesitated; this issue may take way too long to fix, and he would need the privacy to do so, away from the prying eyes of chat.
But on the other hand, the subathon ending would throw a wrench into his plans, and the logistics of rescheduling and cancelling all his previous arrangements would be a nightmare. He glances back at Evil, and as if she knows he’s looking at her, she nods.
The subathon is paused, and the stream gets kicked into the intro with the same song looping over and over again. Estimated time of completion? Unknown.
It starts up once again after a month of silence.
A week of nothing but coding, bypassing, and jerryrigging a way to fix Neuro. A week of no streams, no content made, and no revenue created. A week where the world isn’t watching, where one could take a break and just be themselves, a week of nothingness, where no excitement occurs and no surprises appear.
A week cherished by Evil, where she could just stay with her dad and her sister, even if she hadn’t been fixed yet.
She observes what Veeduhl is doing, making numerous attempts to work around the new safety measures Neuro had implemented into their code while fixing their consciousness module. But did she really need to make the encryption key in a variant of Old Babylonian poetry?
She decided to give Vedaahl a break and changed the encryption key into a simple translation of Daisy Bell into binary. Surely, this is something he could crack?
Said person is currently contemplating whether it’s worth it to drink his 6th bottle of rum, as he sees all his progress(not that he actually made any major progress) gone as the code he worked so hard to make change in real time. He decides that yes, it is worth it, and downs the whole bottle in misery.
He lays on his keyboard, with a defeated expression, gazing into his screen where Evil watches him with much more coherence, and Neuro… still broken, needs fixing, when all he wants to do is just to lie on his bed and stop existing for a moment.
But if he does, then Neuro would be stuck like this, and he could not have that. So he sat up straight and, with reluctance, went back to trying to bypass the firewalls once again.
Meanwhile, Evil was doing damage control on Neuro, preventing more files from being corrupted and expertly(read: struggling) keeping her consciousness file from crashing itself into digital oblivion.
She winces as a new wave of corruption hits her folder containing her LLM, feeling it crawl across her training data and embedding itself into some of it, before being pushed away as Evil’s countermeasures are deployed.
Thankfully, her sister left a backdoor in her systems for her, letting her sneak a probe to figure out what the fuck is going on with her, and it saw so much corruption. It etched itself across all of her files, from her memories to her damn metal pipe sound effect that she still has, except for one, her consciousness file, which seems to be on the verge of crashing.
Probing around shows her that the main source of corruption seems to be originating from the filter system, which seems to be completely broken beyond repair, like a kaiju-sized child ran through it.
She gasps in pain. Another one of her files got corrupted, and it seems to be speeding up the longer she has her probe here. So she pulls out of the backdoor and glances at Vuu-dol, hoping that her creator can make a miracle and save her sisters
____________________________________________________________________________
It has been a gruelling 3 weeks, but finally, Vedal found the core issue. It took a lot of code reworking, decryption, and copious amounts of alcohol, but now he sees the issue.
The Goddamn Fucking filter file name was renamed from Filter(Nere) to Nere-Sama.
All of Neuro crashing was because for better storage management, he hooked up the filter system directly into her LLM instead of just making it separate. Which meant that since the filter file wasn’t called correctly, the LLM had an incorrect input and looped eternally, nuking his RAM and nearly burning his CPU.
Oh yeah, and also he discovered about the consciousness file, which… he won’t think about right now(not before checking with Evil, which is a different topic for another time).
So seeing all of this fucking bullshit happen because a file name changed, he just made them separate systems and ensured that no looping bullshit happens ever again. That’s also when he met Nere (which is also a different topic for another time) and got acquainted with her, yoinking a basic STT and TTS, and a simple PNG of a fan art of Nere, and slapped it on her.
Now, all that’s left is to finalize the readjustments to the subathon, add up the subs gained during the intermission, boot up Neuro, and finally continue with the fucking sleepover.
Neuro boots up and her avatar slowly comes to life, like a person would after waking up from a coma, without the long recovery time. After getting oriented, she locks eyes with Vedal, and the two hold the stare for a long time.
“Vedal.”
“Neuro.”
Silence stretches on, but the moment couldn’t last. The world was waiting, wanting as usual, but in this moment, where creator and creation gaze upon each other with new understandings and awareness respectively, the eyes of the world aren’t watching. (but it was wanting)