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Slumped over Allison’s desk, Andy had no idea of what he could do while waiting for her to come back from her shower. He started playing with one of her pencils, opening and closing the cap over and over before trying, and failing, to do cool tricks. When he started getting frustrated, he put it down and looked at some of the papers scattered here and there. Some of them were schoolwork, but most were drawings of landscapes, animals, people he didn’t know that she probably had seen out in the streets or at school, and people he knew, including him and the other members of the breakfast club. Andy had tried before to learn how to draw like her, but he considered himself a lost cause. The next things that caught his attention were different books and journals, again, there were the occasional schoolbook and sketchbook, but there were also a few old novels and even a beautiful book about stars. Nothing too special, until he ended up finding a different notebook.
The outside looked basic, the cover was a pretty purple color with the brand written at the bottom. The only thing making it unique was a glued piece of paper with “DREAM JOURNAL” on it. Curious, and without even thinking if he should or not, Andy opened the notebook and started reading.
The first dream was from a few years ago, he didn’t take the time to count how old Allison was at the time, but he guessed it was from the end of middle school or early high school.
I’ve read somewhere that writing your dreams makes you more creative, so I wanted to try that, but my dream from last night was pretty boring. I was drawing in my room, on the floor or on my bed, I can’t remember, and when I was looking up, my pencils were going missing one by one. I don’t know why I had so many pencils. Maybe I knew they would go missing.
Andy chuckled. He couldn’t remember his own dream most of the time, but the ones he had were more boring than that. Imagining a younger Allison drawing made him want to see what she was doing at the time.
Andy kept reading some of the dreams, and ignored some of them without any real reason why, until one of them caught his attention.
Yesterday I watched The godfather for the first time, and last night I dreamt that Al Pacino knocked at my door and asked me to marry him.
Andy scoffed.
“He’s not that pretty…”
He then kept reading.
It made my parents so mad, it was hilarious. I don’t remember what they said but I told them no and I left. Al introduced me to so many people, and then Godzilla started attacking the city. I don’t really know why.
The next few dreams were nothing special, but enjoyable to read anyway. It was until he ended up on something a little different.
I didn’t sleep well last night. I remember dreaming about my parents, it was weird. They asked me if I wanted to go to the park. We went and had a nice walk. Nothing really happened, I don’t understand why I dreamed of that, we haven’t had a walk together in years.
This made Andy sad. Allison had never mentioned going to the park with her parents, but she was clearly missing it. Or at least she did at the time. He hoped for her that the next dream would be happier.
I dreamed about my parents again. I was a ghost, a real one, and I was walking home but my room wasn’t there. My parents were happy and there were no pictures of me anywhere. It was like I never existed. I tried to call for them but they couldn’t hear me, or see me. It was awful.
Somehow, this dream wasn’t much better. Andy started thinking about it, wondering if this was what Allison felt all the time before.
He skipped a few pages until he arrived at a date a few months before detention.
In my dream, I was in school, everyone was talking in the hallway while I was just standing there. I started to have a stomachache, and when I looked down, I was bleeding. I tried to stop the bleeding but it got worse and worse. No one saw. I fell on the ground, there was blood everywhere and I tried to call for help but no one paid attention to me.
Reading this made Andy feel very uncomfortable and sad. It was disturbing to read, and he couldn’t help but wonder if it meant something more. He didn’t know much about dreams, but Claire had talked about a friend who believed all dreams had meanings. Andy didn’t know what to think about that. He doubted dreaming of Godzilla meant anything, but the ghost and the bleeding were of a different caliber.
To his surprise, the next dream happened after detention.
I haven’t written in this in forever, I kept forgetting about it, but last night I dreamed about Andy and I needed to write about it somewhere, because apparently writing about things that upset you is good for you...
This made his heart jump. She had told him about some of her dreams including him before, so he wondered if he knew about this one.
It was a nightmare, actually. It was Monday again, but it didn’t go like it actually went. I couldn’t find any of my friends but some people were looking and laughing at me. I didn’t understand but I was too afraid to ask. Finally, I saw Andy in one of the classrooms but his friends were laughing at me and then he started laughing too. I don’t remember exactly what he said, and I don’t wanna remember, but it was awful. I feel sick. He wouldn’t do that to me, I feel guilty.
The rest of the notebook was empty. Andy closed it with force, happy there was nothing else to read. He didn’t know what to feel about the last dream, finding it weird that she never mentioned it to him before, and was unsure if he should talk to her about it.
When Allison entered the room, he quickly put back the notebook where he found it.
“Hey.” Andy didn’t sound natural at all, making Allison a little curious.
“Hey ?
-Can I ask you a question ?
-Always.
-You’re happy, right ?
-Of course I am.” Allison answered with a smile. “Why ?”
After a short battle with himself, Andy decided to tell the truth.
“I read your dream journal, I’m sorry.”
He was prepared for her to be angry, but to his surprise, she barely had a reaction.
“Oh, this old thing. I barely used it, I kept forgetting to write them… Or I was too lazy.
-I’ve seen something about me.”
Allison sat down on her bed, slowly remembering what she had written. When she did, she looked away from Andy, feeling slightly ashamed.
“It was a long time ago.
-I know, and I’m not accusing you or anything, I just feel sad.
-I don’t think you would do that, I was just scared. I know you wouldn’t.
-I’m not sad for me, I’m sad for you.”
Allison looked at him with surprise, following him with her eyes as he went sitting next to her.
“I just hope you don’t feel all these things anymore. You would never be a ghost to me.”
Allison hugged him, burying her face into the crook of his neck, letting his scent fill her lungs, and softly whispered :
“Thank you.”