Chapter Text
Rumi stared at her feet in a trance as she stumbled through the steps again. She could fix the arms, the posture, everything, soon. She just needed to get this right. She was going to get this right. Golden blasted through her headphones, and she was so close to finishing the routine properly for once but her legs burned and her eyes blurred and she missed a turn, crashing to the floor.
Rumi looked up and saw herself in the practice room mirror. Her braid was a mess, stray hairs sticking out at every angle. Her face was red and her hoodie was drenched in sweat. Her pupils were pinpricks, yellow shining through her eyes. She grimaced and glanced towards the practice room door. No one would see her if she just… Rumi peeled her hoodie off slowly, squeezing her eyes shut to avoid seeing her patterns in the mirror. She collapsed backwards onto the cold wooden floor and sighed with relief.
It was just two more weeks. Two more weeks until she could seal the honmoon. Two more weeks until she could be clean. Perfect. Whole. She could stop hiding. She would be good. Mira and Zoey would be so happy when they finally went to the bathhouse together. Celine would lose the barely veiled disgust in her eyes. She could stop wearing hoodies all summer. She would finally be free.
We’ll never be free.
Rumi took a deep breath and turned onto her side. The sunrise peeked over the skyline, glinting off the mirrors and into Rumi’s eyes. She could ignore his voice. She always had. She’d been hearing it since she became a hunter. And he never said anything that she didn’t already know. She sighed, picking up her gross hoodie and gritting her teeth as she pulled it back on. Time to get ready for the day. Her calves ached as she trudged back towards her room. Their apartment had never felt so big. The door to her room was just around the corner, but first she had to get past Mira’s room. Mira who would wake up at the smallest squeak of the floorboards. Rumi furrowed her brow in concentration as she tried to avoid the spots she knew would give her away. She didn’t need another “Rumi you need to sleep” intervention. Zoey’s cupcakes had been sweet. Mira spiking them with sleeping pills had not.
Just one more step. She was so close to the finish line. Every muscle in Rumi’s legs were burning. Scratch that, every muscle in her body.
You deserve it.
Rumi groaned out loud and hissed “Just shut up. Why are you always such a jerk?”
Rustling came from Mira’s room. Then a voice. “Go back to bed Rumi, it’s too early for this.”
Rumi winced, “Sorry Mira, just stubbed my toe! Totally fine and normal and going back to sleep right now this instant.”
Mira groaned, there was more rustling, then steady snoring started up again. Rumi breathed a sigh of relief and shut herself into her room. “Thanks a lot. Couldn’t you be nice? I never say anything mean to you. Maybe I should start.”
You’re weak. You’ll never win.
”See, that doesn’t even relate to this conversation. If I’m going crazy, could I go crazy in a normal way?” The voice didn’t answer. Rumi collapsed onto her bed with a groan. Maybe she should ask her friends about this. Or maybe not. It might be because she was a demon. It might be because she was defective. Maybe both. They didn’t deserve to be burdened by her problems.
Rumi pulled out her phone and scrolled to Celine’s contact. She would know what to do. She always did. She knew the worst of Rumi, helped her understand that she was wrong, deformed, disgusting. So this wouldn’t be a surprise. Or at least it wouldn’t be a disappointment. She typed, deleted, and retyped her message before finally sending it.
Celine, I need advice. Can we talk?
A few seconds later, Rumi’s phone started ringing at full volume, and she quickly fumbled to answer.
“Hello? Celine?”
”Come home at 2pm.” Celine’s voice was as cold and businesslike as it always was, before the phone line clicked as she hung up. Celine never wasted time.
Rumi lay back and closed her eyes. She could drift off for a few minutes. A little sleep couldn’t hurt. After the night she’d had, she deserved it.