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“Yer girlfriend broke up with ya?” Iwaizumi asked, sifting through blades of tall, green grass.
“Mm,” Oikawa hummed back. He was crouched down in a spot where the grass growing there wasn’t as tall, and he hugged his knees while resting a cheek against them, eyes tracking Iwaizumi’s movements.
The day was warm and the breeze was gentle, and Oikawa’s somber mood could easily be mistaken for laziness.
“How come? Ya just won tha’ best setter in the prefecture award, so shouldn’t ya be the coolest of the cool guys right now?” Iwaizumi asked, the soft blades of grass tickling his arms as the wind made them sway.
Oikawa chuckled. “It’s all the same. They always complain that I’m so wrapped up with volleyball that I’m not paying enough attention to them and it’s hard for them to stay in a relationship like that. It makes me wonder why they confessed to me in the first place.” Oikawa paused to sigh. “They always mention how cool I am on the court, but when we start dating all of a sudden I spend too much time there.”
Iwaizumi scrunched his face in distaste. “That’s kinda dumb. I mean anybody who knows ya knows how much ya like volleyball, so if they say they don’t like how much ya play then they can’t have really liked ya, right?”
Oikawa lifted his head up to regard Iwaizumi fully in a bit of surprise before relaxing into a smile. “That’s true… Who knew Iwa-chan could be so smart? Must be because I tutor him all the time.”
“Shut up baka-Tooru! The only reason ya can tutor me is ‘cause yer older and ‘ave taken the classes before!” Iwaizumi said, stomping a bit away and continuing his search.
The wind seemed to pick up and carry Oikawa’s musical laugh, making it more light and airy than usual.
“What are you looking for Iwa-chan? We should head back soon for lunch.”
“Not yet, I saw it yesterday when I caught tha’ beetle…” Iwaizumi mumbled stubbornly. Iwaizumi parted another patch of grass and perked up when he saw what he had been looking for.
Iwaizumi whirled around and waded through the grass to stand in front of Oikawa. “Here, Tooru!” Iwaizumi said as he almost shoved the delicate, white flower he was holding in Oikawa’s face. “Quit dating all those girls who ask ya out and just marry me instead! I know ya the best, so that makes me the best! I’ll make ya the happiest!” Iwaizumi finished his speech with a huge, proud grin.
Oikawa went near crossed eyed to look at the flower, before looking up at Iwaizumi with mirth. “Did you lose a tooth Iwa-chan? No wonder you’ve had that cute lisp all day.”
Iwaizumi slapped his free hand over his mouth, and furrowed his brows, disgruntled. “It’s my last one! Don’t change the subject! I just proposed to ya!” Iwaizumi half-yelled behind his hand.
“Very well, then I accept,” Oikawa responded primly.
“No way, really!?” Iwaizumi said excitedly, hand covering his mouth falling away as his bright joy couldn’t be contained.
“The flower, not your proposal,” Oikawa clarified.
Iwaizumi’s mood quickly dropped to a sullen pout. Oikawa laughed and tapped his head over his ear, so Iwaizumi trudged closer and carefully tucked the flower he picked there among Oikawa’s curls.
“It’s a little too soon to be thinking about marriage, huh Iwa-chan? Where did you get this idea?”
Iwaizumi puffed his chest out. “I saw it on the news! They said there were new ways for two boys and two girls to get married ta each other! So if that’s the case, we should get married too!”
“Hm, even so I only just finished middle school, and you’re still in elementary school too,” Oikawa pointed out.
“Age doesn’t matter with love! Mom told me tha’!” Iwaizumi argued.
Oikawa stood up and ruffled Iwaizumi’s hair while Iwaizumi made a petulant expression. “Tell you what Iwa-chan; you grow in that last adult tooth and I’ll think about marrying you.”
Iwaizumi looked up to check Oikawa’s expression to see if he was lying, but he saw Oikawa smiling gently down at him. Oikawa took Iwaizumi’s hand in his, sunlight filtering through his brown hair and lending it golden undertones, the flower Iwaizumi gave him standing out starkly among them.
“Ok!” Iwaizumi agreed. “Just watch Tooru, I’m gonna become a man so amazing that ya won’t be able to resist me!”
Oikawa giggled. “Oh, I’m sure you will. Now let’s head back and eat.”
Iwaizumi nodded and squeezed Oikawa’s hand lightly as they walked back to their adjacent houses together, the wind whispering softly around them.
***
My childhood friend, Oikawa Tooru, is six years older than me. Even though his personality can be bad at times, he’s smart, hardworking, honest, and kind. He’s the prettiest and most admirable person I know. He’s been around for as long as I can remember, and I think that’s how long I’ve been in love with him too. I’m fine with loving him for so long since Tooru doesn’t seem to know how to love himself. There is a problem though. We’re close enough to be good friends, but far enough for there to be significant space between us.
I used to always tell him how much I loved him, but he’d just laugh every time and then brush off the confession by giving me little tasks to help me grow up some more before he could take me seriously. I’m pretty sure he simply made them up to distract me though. The ass.
We kept this game up ever since I was a kid, even when Tooru started dating girls in middle school. But during Tooru’s second year of high school, he got into a serious relationship with the first boy his age to confess to him. It sucked, but since I didn’t want to make Tooru uncomfortable, I stopped asking him to be with me and let him be with his boyfriend instead.
I mean, Tooru seemed to really like this guy too. More than any of the girls he’d ever been with, combined.
Even so, my feelings haven’t changed. This gap of six years…how can I bridge it and stand by his side?
***
Iwaizumi remembered the first time he realized something was wrong.
It was a Monday after school like any other, when Oikawa didn’t have club activities so he would pick Iwaizumi up from school and they’d play volleyball together in the field by their houses.
That day, Oikawa was helping Iwaizumi work on his spikes. Iwaizumi was determined to become the ace when he got into middle school next year, and then become an ace worthy of Oikawa’s sets.
“Iwa-chan, you’re only going to be a first year next year, so there’s no way you can become the ace. You don’t need to be so hasty,” Oikawa said as he set the ball up.
Iwaizumi hit it down, but the ball couldn’t bounce on the dirt of the field as satisfyingly as it could on the court.
“I still want to try to be the best wing spiker. After all, you’re the captain of your volleyball team, right? I have to catch up quick, and becoming ace is the fastest way.”
“Yes, but you need to remember that I’m also a third year in high school, and you’re going to be a first year in middle school. I’ve had nearly six years of playing on the court with official teammates, and I’ve been a captain before too. You’ll get there on your own time Iwa-chan, don’t force yourself right now.” Oikawa ruffled the slightly sweaty hair on Iwaizumi’s head.
Iwaizumi smacked the hand away immediately. “Don’t treat me like a little kid just because I’m younger than you Tooru! You know I hate that!”
Iwaizumi glared up at Oikawa, but the fierceness in his face drained away when he saw Oikawa’s astonishment at his action. Oikawa’s hand was still hovering in the air, and Iwaizumi could see the spot he had hit Oikawa’s hand away by a deep pink mark by his wrist. Guilt welled up in Iwaizumi, and he felt tears prick his eyes.
“Tooru, I’m sorry, I didn’t want to hit you or be mean, my body moved on its own…”
Iwaizumi’s apology was interrupted by Oikawa’s laugh. But it didn’t have its usual musical lilt. It sounded harsh on Iwaizumi’s ears.
“It’s fine Iwa-chan!” Oikawa waved his hand in dismissal to further punctuate what he said. “It’s ok to hit me when I’m annoying; it’s not like I’m a sensitive girl who’d be hurt by something like that.”
Oikawa was smiling as he said this, but his eyes seemed far off, misty, as if Oikawa was looking at someone else rather than Iwaizumi.
It was probably because Oikawa was making an expression so strange that Iwaizumi responded just as strangely.
“Does your boyfriend hit you, Tooru?” Iwaizumi asked without thinking.
The smile fell from Oikawa’s face, but Iwaizumi didn’t really care because it was fake anyway. But the way Oikawa seemed to stiffen up, eyes wide with panic, and the startled look that briefly flitted across his face made Iwaizumi freeze on that soupy hot afternoon.
Oikawa wordlessly walked over and picked up the ball from where Iwaizumi had spiked it into the ground.
“We’ve practiced enough for today, Iwa-chan. Let’s go home.”
Oikawa was already walking toward their houses, and although Iwaizumi opened his mouth to speak, no sound bubbled out. Just images fluttered in his mind, memories of strange bruises Oikawa shakily claimed to be from long hours at practice; yet they seemed different from the ones Iwaizumi had seen for so many years before, more deeply dark in Oikawa’s skin and shaped oddly in a way Iwaizumi could only think as ‘ugly.’
Iwaizumi stumbled to catch up, but he just couldn’t match Oikawa’s pace after his long strides had already carried him so far off.
***
At the beginning of the next academic year, Iwaizumi saw Oikawa off to university in his new Kitagawa Daiichi uniform.
“Have a safe trip, Oikawa.”
Oikawa blinked in mild surprise before chuckling lightly. Even so, his expression echoed a bit of loneliness.
“I guess Iwa-chan is growing up, huh? Don't grow up too much while I'm away.”
Iwaizumi let Oikawa ruffle his hair one last time before Oikawa set off to his train platform. Iwaizumi wasn’t sad. He was sure they’d see each other soon.
***
It had been three years since Iwaizumi had seen Oikawa. In the flesh at least. He still saw bits and pieces of Oikawa’s university life through social media, had a couple of brief phone calls with him occasionally, and heard about what he was up to from overhearing Oikawa’s mother whenever she was over visiting his mom.
Iwaizumi was a third year in middle school and captain of his volleyball team. He wouldn’t necessarily say he was trying to follow in Oikawa’s footsteps, but knowing that he was in the same position as Oikawa once was did make him feel closer despite their distance lately.
It was Golden Week, and his team was conditioning for the upcoming tournament with a training camp. But as captain, Iwaizumi felt he shouldn’t slack off, so every night he went on a brisk jog to stay in shape outside of practice.
Just as he was rounding the corner back onto his street for the last stretch home, he saw a small, far off light in the distance, near his house. Iwaizumi squinted in the darkness and internally cursed country streetlights for being so low. It looked almost like a firefly, but was too red and angry in color.
Still, Iwaizumi kept his pace, and as he got closer, he saw wisps of smoke rising up from a familiar figure resting back on the front of the Oikawa household’s gate, and he stopped in his tracks.
“Oikawa? Are you…smoking?” Iwaizumi walked a little closer, and before Oikawa could answer, Iwaizumi was hit with a dank, earthy smell that couldn't be associated with tobacco.
Oikawa turned to him with a slightly dopey smile. “Iwa-chan! What are you doing out so late? It's Golden Week, shouldn't you be off with your friends on a trip?”
“I've got practice,” Iwaizumi said in a clipped tone, waiting for the answer to his question.
Oikawa continued to smile at Iwaizumi for an unnerving minute, before turning his gaze up to stare at the stars dotting the sky. Iwaizumi remembered when Oikawa used to recite constellations to him when they were younger.
“You're close, but not quite. This is a blunt. A parting gift from my boyfriend before he left me to spend Golden Week with his friends in Hawaii. He seems to think I enjoy drugs more than his company.” Oikawa took a hit and released it slowly. “I'm starting to think he's right.”
Iwaizumi was instantly concerned. “Are you two fighting again?”
Oikawa laughed humorlessly. “I almost wish we were. We don't do much of anything together anymore.”
Iwaizumi shifted his weight on his feet. He watched Oikawa release smoke into the stale night air to let it curl up and fade away before him. Iwaizumi thought maybe Oikawa wanted to curl up and fade away too.
Iwaizumi didn't know what to say. Things like ‘I would treat you better’ flooded his mind, but he knew that Oikawa didn't need the affections of a middle school brat right now, so instead he asked, “Do you want to come over?”
Oikawa took one more hit before crushing his blunt against the post he was leaning against.
“Do you think your parents would let me inside smelling like weed?”
“I could sneak you in.”
Oikawa chuckled. “Why do you want me over so badly Iwa-chan? Did you miss me that much?”
Yes, Iwaizumi wanted to say, I missed you a lot, more than you know, but that wasn’t why he offered.
“You seem like you don’t want to be alone right now.”
Oikawa turned to Iwaizumi with wide eyes and Iwaizumi couldn’t help but wonder if the redness in them was really from the marijuana he had just smoked or from the tears Oikawa probably shed when he found out his boyfriend had no intention of spending Golden Week with him.
Oikawa’s expression quickly mellowed out though, and he turned back to search the stars above, as if they held answers for him.
“You're a good kid Hajime. You're going to make someone really happy someday.”
Iwaizumi bit his tongue to resist saying ‘You're the only one I want to make happy.’
Oikawa looked back at Iwaizumi with a plastered smile slapped on his face. “Good kids like you shouldn’t be out this late. Head on home before you make your parents worry. I’ll be fine. This isn't the first night I’ve spent on my own and I hardly think it’ll be my last either.” Oikawa sighed when Iwaizumi didn’t move. “I chose a night to come back when my parents wouldn’t be home specifically to be alone. Now shoo.”
Iwaizumi wanted to comment on the way Oikawa hugged himself that night, wanted call him out on his ‘convincing’ that sounded more like self-validation, but just like three years ago in that field, Iwaizumi found his argument stolen away, voice caught thick in his throat with childish ignorance.
***
Only a mere year passed when Iwaizumi saw Oikawa again.
Iwaizumi had just gotten home after running an errand for his dad, kicking off his shoes in the entryway and leaving the bag of car parts in the living room. He headed to the kitchen and heard muffled voices through the door. Iwaizumi cracked the door a sliver to see the backs of his and Oikawa’s mother.
“Calm down, getting upset isn’t going to help Tooru-kun. You need to encourage him to move on and finish up his last year of uni,” Iwaizumi’s mother reasoned.
“I know that,” Oikawa’s mother sighed. “I know that…but still! I’m just so angry!” Her voice broke into a growl. “That bastard! I swear if I ever see that slimy little son of a bitch I’ll kill him! He abuses my son and to top it off, cheats on him too!? If I ever catch him he better pray to every deity that exists in this world…”
Iwaizumi didn't listen any further; he went out the door and ran. He ran until he felt like his legs would fall off and he’d hurl his food, and he ended up at the park he and Oikawa used to play in. He found Oikawa listlessly sitting on one of the swings, pushing himself back and forth halfheartedly.
There were deep circles under Oikawa’s eyes, the kind that Iwaizumi knew he developed from insomnia, and the way his shirt hung off his shoulders made Oikawa seem so small. Those same shoulders used to be so broad they held the banner of Aoba Josai, ‘Rule the Court,’ across them. Iwaizumi’s heart ached.
Catching his breath, Iwaizumi walked over carefully. “Oikawa,” he called softly.
Oikawa jerked up, but when he saw Iwaizumi, he forced on a smile. “Hey there Iwa-chan! I'm guessing you heard from my mom. She's kicking up a real fuss huh? Sorry you had to hear it.”
“He...cheated on you?” was all Iwaizumi could manage to say.
Oikawa’s expression fell a little but managed to still appear chipper. “Well, yeah. But at this point, it was almost expected, wasn't it? He was awful to me, but...” Oikawa paused. “I can forgive a lot of things, but infidelity isn't one of them, so this was the straw that finally broke the camel's back.”
Iwaizumi didn’t say anything in response so Oikawa filled the silence. “Good riddance, right? I'm probably better off without him. Everyone says so.”
Iwaizumi silently pulled Oikawa into an awkward hug where he was standing and Oikawa was still sitting on the swing. “Your ex-boyfriend was a scumbag.”
Oikawa barked out a laugh. “Iwa-chan thought so too?”
Iwaizumi continued. “Your ex-boyfriend was dirt and wasn’t close to being deserving of you, but that doesn’t mean you didn’t care about him. It doesn’t mean you need to disregard your feelings even if everyone tells you he’s not worth them. You loved him. It's ok to mourn the loss of your relationship with him. You don't have to pretend it doesn’t bother you to look tough. Not anymore.”
Oikawa’s mask crumbled and he gripped Iwaizumi’s shirt as his tears fell into the sand. Iwaizumi held him as he shook through his sobs.
“Hajime,” Oikawa sobbed. “I liked him s-so much… I thought he could change, I thought as long as we stayed together we’d grow to love each other…” Oikawa sniffled loudly before he wailed, “But I was wrong—!”
Iwaizumi rubbed Oikawa’s back as he hiccupped and cried, staring off into the horizon and watching the setting sun. He was glad he decided to keep on his crisp Seijou volleyball jacket because the cold of winter was starting to set in.
***
The next time Iwaizumi saw Oikawa was at his own high school graduation. The cherry blossoms were in full bloom and the way they fell on Oikawa’s hair, landed on his nose, and even got caught in his eyelashes made Iwaizumi nostalgic of the last time he had seen Oikawa on these grounds.
Oikawa was looking better than he ever did with his ex-boyfriend. The color in his cheeks rivaled the soft pinkness of the petals dancing around them, and the brightness of his brown eyes coupled with the ever present curve of his lips made Iwaizumi’s heart thud loud in his chest.
Oikawa had just finished greeting an old teacher, and Iwaizumi took this chance to talk to him alone.
“Are you seeing anyone now?” Iwaizumi asked after pleasantries were exchanged.
Oikawa smiled. “No. It'll be a while before I can trust someone new.”
Iwaizumi licked his lips nervously. “How about someone you've always known then?”
“Huh?” Oikawa asked.
Iwaizumi figured he couldn't get away beating around the bush, and hoped his voice wouldn’t crack from how dry it felt.
“How about me? I’m an adult now.”
Oikawa ruffled Iwaizumi’s hair for the first time in six years. “You deserve better than me Hajime.”
Iwaizumi frowned. “That’s not for you to decide.”
“Is your mind really made up on me? After all this time and everything that’s happened?”
“Yes.”
Oikawa sighed. “Then grow taller than me. If you do, I'll marry you.” Oikawa turned and walked a little further to join their parents’ conversation.
Oikawa was taller than Iwaizumi’s father. He had given Iwaizumi an impossible task. Iwaizumi tried to ignore his heart falling in pieces like the sakura petals falling around them.
***
Iwaizumi plunged into his university life for two years without resurfacing. He felt like it was hard to breathe and he was drowning in a constant state of work, but what else could he do?
He was heartbroken. Iwaizumi had been rejected by Oikawa dozens of times before but that was because he was a kid and Oikawa didn’t take him seriously. But at his graduation, Oikawa looked at him as an adult and still rejected him.
So there really was no hope for his love after all.
A call from back home brought him back up from sinking.
“Hajime?”
“I’m here. I heard you.” Though Iwaizumi couldn’t be sure he heard correctly, as soon as he heard his name, everything was white noise in his ears.
“So you’ll go to Tooru-kun’s house next weekend? I need you to pick up some books for me from him. Your apartment is closer to Tooru-kun, and…”
Iwaizumi’s mother’s voice faded away as Iwaizumi's heart kicked up in speed, the pumping deafening. His palms were starting to sweat. Could he do this? See Oikawa again?
“Yeah, I’ll go. It’s no problem, love you too mom.”
Iwaizumi spent the entire week mentally preparing himself. Oikawa didn't work far from the university, only a quick train ride away, so he didn't have a ton of time to steel himself before he was already at Oikawa’s front door.
“Iwa-chan! Your mom told me you’d be stopping by. Come in, come in,” Oikawa said after giving Iwaizumi a tight hug.
Iwaizumi was far too stiff to return it quickly enough, but Oikawa didn’t seem to mind as he was already puttering about his apartment with snacks.
Iwaizumi toed off his shoes carefully and looked around Oikawa’s place. This was the apartment Oikawa moved into after leaving his ex, and Iwaizumi liked how he could feel Oikawa’s presence in the tacky furniture choices and art on the walls. But quickly, Iwaizumi shook his head to clear such thoughts.
Don’t start thinking like that, he chastised himself. If you start to think of this place as charming, you’ll think Oikawa is charming and you’ll doom yourself all over again.
“Iwa-chan~” Oikawa called from the kitchen.
“What is it Oika—” Iwaizumi asked as he walked into the kitchen, but his voice died in his throat when he saw Oikawa rummaging through one of his lower cabinets, completely bent over and ass bouncing as he searched deeper. Gods grant him strength.
“Ah, there they are!” Oikawa announced triumphantly as he emerged from the depths of the cabinet holding two tea cups. “I knew I had my nicer cups somewhere.”
Oikawa closed the cabinet door with a bump of hip and Iwaizumi tried to tell himself that it wasn’t the cutest thing he’d ever seen.
“You didn’t have to go to the trouble,” Iwaizumi mumbled.
“It’s fine, it’s fine, I rarely have guests over so I like an excuse to take them out,” Oikawa reassured him.
Iwaizumi watched Oikawa walk over to his fridge. “Now Iwa-chan, what do you want to drink? Green or barley tea? Hm, but you’re twenty now, aren’t you?” Oikawa turned to him with a mischievous grin on his face, hand hovering above a pack of cans. “Want a beer?”
Iwaizumi gave him an unamused glare back, ignoring how adorable the expression Oikawa just made was. “I’ll take green tea, thanks.”
Oikawa pouted as he closed the fridge door. “Che, fine…” Oikawa went over to an overhead cabinet and pulled out a packet of green tea, but he dragged a soy sauce bottle to the edge of the shelf as he did so, and the bottle teetered before tipping over.
Iwaizumi practically leaped into action, getting behind Oikawa, placing a steadying hand on his waist, and catching the bottle before it could fall.
“Careful you idiot!” Iwaizumi huffed.
Oikawa didn’t respond, so after Iwaizumi put the bottle back he turned to Oikawa quizzically. That was when Iwaizumi realized how close they were to each other; just a few centimeters and Oikawa’s eyelashes could brush against his skin. Oikawa had a stunned look on his face and his cheeks were a little red. Iwaizumi noticed that this close, Oikawa’s lips looked especially soft.
Iwaizumi jumped away from Oikawa before he could let his thoughts spiral further.
“I’ll go sit out in the living room,” Iwaizumi said with a shaky laugh. Oikawa kept his back to him as he prepared the teapot, and nodded. Iwaizumi could see Oikawa’s blush spreading to the back of his neck.
Iwaizumi wanted to groan as he plopped onto the couch. How could Oikawa be even more alluring than before? Wasn’t Iwaizumi supposed to have given up on his love? He scrubbed a hand down his face and sighed. He had this love his whole life. He should’ve known there was no way it’d just leave him after two years.
Iwaizumi looked for the remote to distract himself with some TV, but found the books his mother wanted him to pick up neatly stacked in a tote bag on the coffee table. Iwaizumi idly wondered how rude it would be if he just grabbed the bag and left, lest he became further ensnared by his feelings the longer he stayed in Oikawa's home.
“Iwa-chan, the tea is ready.” Oikawa came over and handed him a cup before sitting beside him, slowly blowing on his own. Oikawa’s entire demeanor had become a little shyer and Iwaizumi took a gulp of scalding tea to get his self-control in check.
“Whoa, careful there! The tea is still pretty hot and it isn’t going anywhere, so slow down,” Oikawa advised.
Iwaizumi can’t remember a time that he had ever slowed down. His entire life had felt like he was chasing after Oikawa and the furthest he had ever gotten was standing in his shadow.
Suddenly, Iwaizumi felt Oikawa’s hand in his hair and thought Oikawa was going to ruffle it like he always did. Instead, he felt Oikawa gently brush his hair with light fingertips, thumb occasionally rubbing his temple.
“You seem like you’re brooding about something. Your mom told me she’s worried that you’re overworking yourself at the university, so if anything’s bothering you, you can tell me.”
And it all rushed back. Iwaizumi remembered why he truly he was in love with Oikawa; it wasn’t because he was beautiful, smart, or hardworking. It was because Oikawa was always attuned to others needs, whether on the court or with Iwaizumi himself. Oikawa never put himself first, which was how he got into such a shitty relationship with his ex in the first place, why he always humored those girls that asked him out, why he chose to be a setter instead of something flashier like the ace.
Iwaizumi gently grasped Oikawa’s wrist and pulled it away from his head. He put his tea down on the table and stared Oikawa in the eyes. “…Do you really want to know what’s bothering me?”
At Iwaizumi’s serious tone, Oikawa bit his lip and his gaze slid away from Iwaizumi’s. He chewed his lip in deliberation before stopping and meeting Iwaizumi’s gaze again. “Yeah.”
Iwaizumi took a deep breath to calm himself, but his heart still felt like it was going to burst out of his chest in a huge mess of emotions. Oh well.
“I haven’t managed to grow taller than you. I’ve tried to walk in your footsteps, but I always feel like I’ve come short of you. And we’ve been side by side, but I feel like I'll never be able to stand on equal footing with you. Even so, I love you. I want to be with you and support you. I want to make you happy through my own strength. But you...you don’t need me, do you Tooru?”
And Iwaizumi felt lame, so lame, because he was crying, like a kid throwing a tantrum because he wasn't able to get the one thing he’d always wanted.
That’s why he was surprised when Oikawa came close and started kissing his tears away and wiping the tear tracks from his cheeks.
“Oh, Iwa-chan... I’m sorry. This truth is, I was afraid. You're six years younger than me, yet you could always see through me. You knew the moment I was unhappy or upset, and you always seemed concerned for me. So I never wanted to disappoint you. But I ended up doing that anyway, while I was with my ex. And all I could think to do was run from you. You were always so steady, so sure, but I was always wavering and trying to find myself. Maybe if we were the same age, I could have leaned on you, but since I’m older I felt like I had to set a good example for you. You didn't deserve someone as inconsistent as I was. But now...I feel more stable. And you've matured so much.” Oikawa paused to kiss Iwaizumi softly on his lips. “I’ve made us wait a long time, haven’t I, Hajime?”
“Do you really mean it? Do you really love me?” Iwaizumi asked as more tears fell from his eyes. He felt like such a child for asking, but he needed to be sure.
Oikawa chuckled. “I’ve always loved you. Maybe not romantically before, but you were always my most important person. More than anyone else, I never wanted to let you down.”
“So what changed?” Iwaizumi couldn’t help it, he had to know.
Oikawa sighed with amusement. “Time. I needed time to get over my ex, see how much you’ve grown, and to understand how much you loved me. I guess you were right all along Iwa-chan; you really have become a man so amazing that I can’t resist you.”
Iwaizumi couldn’t contain himself any longer, he surged forward and kissed Oikawa deeply, heart thrumming happily with the strength of requited love. He could feel Oikawa laughing into the kiss and just kissed Oikawa more.
“Does this mean we can get married now?” Iwaizumi asked when they broke apart to breathe.
“Not yet. First, you’ll need to graduate and find yourself a good job. Next you’ll need to buy me a ring with money you’ve earned as an adult. Then we can get married.”
“Those are some pretty steep demands.”
“Mm, but I expect you to meet these ones,” Oikawa hummed.
“Alright, deal. So what do we do for now?” Iwaizumi asked, already leaning forward.
Oikawa rested his arms over the tops of Iwaizumi’s shoulders with a giggle, lips curving into a coy smile. “We do whatever people in love do.”
Iwaizumi thought that an appropriate thing for people in love to do was to kiss Oikawa until he could feel the mold of his lips against his own, even as he took the train home.