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“This seems a little early to start getting ready, Astrid… I mean, we literally have two hours until they even get here.” Mika announced a little loudly from his spot where he sat on Aztro’s bed, projecting his voice to the girl who’d been changing in her room’s bathroom.
“You don’t get it Mika!” She’d stressed to the boy, carefully poking one leg into the long jean skirt she chose to wear, “Getting ready takes way longer when you don’t fucking plan ahead, and I’d easily pick looking like an idiot and being finished early over rushing and being dissatisfied because I thought I’d be done faster!”
All Mika could do was sigh in response though, confused but not even slightly annoyed enough to argue with her about her strange girl opinions. He’d been pretty preoccupied anyway, carefully petting his adorable tabby named Lefty on his lap and gushing at his content purrs as he did so.
Admittedly enough, he wasn’t even ready himself, still sitting in the pajamas he woke up in that morning. It’s not like it’s a crime to be unprepared while Astrid was getting ready though. He didn’t take as long to pick an outfit out and look presentable, so he personally couldn’t care less about how he looked when he had so much time left to get ready. Mika, instead, was excited to see his two other friends today— Schlatt and Apandah— so that they could all go to the mall and hang out together.
Surprisingly though, Astrid came out of the bathroom pretty soon afterward, wearing a cropped white tank top with the long jean skirt she paired with it. Underneath what the skirt covered, Aztro had slipped on cute heeled sandals, feeling a bit disappointed that the shoes were hidden by the skirt yet still satisfied with the outfit overall.
“Wow Aztro, that outfit’s like… super cute. Do you have anyone you’re trying to impress with it?” Mika questioned cheekily, giggling as he gauged Astrid’s bashful expression.
“Oh shut up Mika,” she mumbled shyly, avoiding eye contact as she bit her nail cautiously, “If I’m gonna see my boyfriend, then I’m obviously gonna try and look nice for him..” she then moved on to sit at the vanity in her room, examining herself in the mirror as she carefully considered how she should do her makeup and hair for that day. Although she already had an idea for what she’d do with her hair, she went on to do her makeup first, pinning her hair back and pulling the makeup products out of her drawer as she started up her foundation.
“So… you have the balls to tease me, Mika, but I can’t help but happen to remember a certain little crush you have on our friend… Mind speaking about that more? Or are we just gonna focus on me and my already established relationship?” She resisted the urge to grin like the shithead she was, keeping in mind that her makeup could crease. However, she still let her eyes trail to Mika’s figure in the mirror, who glared back at her with a scowl.
“When have I ever said such thing! It’s completely normal to find a friend attractive… platonically. And watch! When he comes around, I’ll be completely normal and today’s outing will be fun like usual.” Despite what he told Aztro— and himself, deep down— he sighed exasperatedly, falling back onto Aztro’s bed to lay down and look at the ceiling of her room. Lefty pounced off of his lap as he did so, jumping at the sudden movement and scouring under her bed for a new place to lay.
Astrid’s lips thinned and she shook her head in disappointment, foundation done and eyebrows defined pleasantly. “You look very bare like that with just the skin paint on… like a freaky skin walker.” Mika said offhandedly after glancing in the mirror to Astrid’s progress. He’d come to regret it though, getting a perfectly aimed throw of a makeup brush to his head, screeching an “Ouch!” as the injury began to ache.
“Sorry! Sorry! Yeesh! You look fine…” “Yeah, I thought so… jackass…” she muttered with her no bullshit attitude, not even looking back at him while applying light blush to her cheeks. A smile graced her face as she begun to enjoy how her makeup was turning out, but it quickly turned into a grimace as she pulled out her eyeliner.
Rubbing his head and deciding to sit up once again, Mika pulled his phone out to put on some music, turning on Nirvana to appease Astrid and her needs. Suddenly, though, his phone pinged, and he noticed he’d received a text. From Apandah.
Apandah: I’m gonna touch you when I get there
Wow, he was weird. The message was unprompted, strange, yet a little endearing and attractive seeing how Mika wouldn’t mind if he actually did end up touching him, weirdly enough.
Mika: can’t you just text me something normal? like “oh, I can’t wait to see you mika!” or “we’ll be there in a bit so make sure to be prepared!” something OTHER than whatever weird shit you just sent me
Apandah: if ur not gonna appreciate my kind text then i’ll just go jerk off instead tf :/
Mika: I DIDNT NEED TO KNOW THAT??
Apandah: well u do now papi so! bye bye!! ;)
Sighing dramatically, Mika tossed his phone aside, announcing to Aztro, “I can’t believe Apandah just texted me to tell me he’ll touch me and then jerk off!” With an extremely deadpan face though, Astrid turned around to stare at him— eyeliner done perfectly, by the way— asking him, “In what world would him texting that be a surprise?”
Yet Mika just shook his head with a wry frown, still in disbelief despite knowing Apandah and his shitty sense of humor. Astrid, meanwhile, just chuckled at his reaction, going back to her makeup to add tinted lipgloss and draw on her signature star before spritzing setting spray on her face to seal the look. Once it dried, she turned over to Mika, asking him, “How’s the makeup?” with a cute smile and a hand against her jaw in presentation.
“Hmm…” Mika pondered, tilting his head and putting two fingers against his chin in faux thought, “I don’t know…” Aztro frowned and Mika immediately sat up as stiff as a ruler and hurriedly said, “amazing! It looks amazing! I swear!” “Good then!” She exclaimed, smiling once again and turning back to the vanity to do her hair. She ended up with a soft bun-like ponytail, the style looking loose as her bangs and some extra strands framed her face.
“Ok… I think I’m done! Surprisingly!” She stood up from her vanity, grabbed a small white handbag before placing a hand on her hip as she saw Mika was still sitting around and lounging on her bed after an hour and 45 minutes had already passed. “Mika… you need to get ready now. You have fifteen minutes until they get here…” And Mika sat there for a moment, blinking at her before jumping up and rushing out of her room to start getting ready with almost no time at all.
Despite lazing around until the last minute, Mika managed to be ready by the time Schlatt and Apandah had gotten to their apartment. His hair had been done to look less like he’d just rolled out of bed, his teeth were brushed, and he even picked out a whimsical shirt with a cat on it! Whimsy aside, he’d completed the outfit with cargo shorts, socks, and some nike shoes. When he walked out of his room, he bore witness to Aztrosist wrapping her arms around Schlatt and kissing him like she’d die if she didn’t. His eyes then drifted to Apandah, who still stood at the door. He pointed a finger to his mouth as he fake gagged, pretending to be repulsed by their gushy bullshit.
“Hi… Apandah…” Mika uttered, trying to avoid the fact that Astrid and Schlatt were practically sucking each others faces off, “Are you hungry? Want something to eat before we leave?”
“I mean if you’re on the menu then sure, I can eat!” God he was insufferable. Luckily, Astrid and Schlatt finally separated from each other, likely so Schlatt could scoff at Apandah’s absurd joke.
“Go get a room, dude. Your crappy gay jokes make me wanna die,” Schlatt pointed out exasperatedly, despite the fact that he quite literally said that with his arm around Aztro’s waist.
“Says you Schlatt! Don’t even get me started! Me and Mika are already extremely hurt because you and Astrid cut us out of the polycule for your monogamous”— he proceeded to ignore as Aztro jokingly said ‘big word for you’— “relationship.”
“Yeah, Yeah, just get together already if you want the polycule benefits so badly!” Mika, as he watched this go down, just wanted to curl up and die, though that unfortunately was inappropriate at a time like this so he instead just spoke up to put a pin in their strange conversation.
“Can we just get in the car and go to the mall already? We really don’t need to joke about this off camera…” And luckily for him, they all agreed, silently, as Aztro and Schlatt moved out the door first, sweetly and sickening walking hand in hand together. Apandah, however, stayed back for a moment, muttering “Never said I was joking, exactly…” before walking out behind the couple. The hangout had barely even started yet, and Mika was already feeling antsy and paranoid about what was to come.
Driving in Jschlatt’s car, the ride was surprisingly more tame than the conversation that had taken place in their living room. With Astrid happily taking the spot for passenger princess, Apandah and Mika were stuck in the backseat with a reasonable amount of space between them. It was easier to joke around after being around each other for longer than five minutes, and the atmosphere finally felt closer to recording videos— with the exception of having to worry about what they say (for a variety of reasons). It was even almost impossible to notice Schlatt resting his hand on Astrid’s thigh throughout most of the ride! Almost.
So when they arrived there, the embarrassment Mika experienced in the apartment went away completely, and he was already considering what to buy at the mall.
“How about we split up into twos?” Apandah asked, eyeing Mika sinisterly in a way that made Mika gulp like he was in a cartoon. And yet, before Mika could argue against it, Schlatt— too happily, if you asked Mika— agreed with, “Yeah, whatever, sure, I’m with Aztro, right?”
“Of course you’re with me, dickhead,” she muttered with an eyeroll, “What, did you expect me to go with Apandah instead?”
“No. Please no, actually…” Schlatt replied with a frown, genuinely seeming bothered by the idea of Astrid choosing Apandah over him. And since those two already agreed to go together, they immediately wandered away in a different direction, hand in hand like some middle school couple.
“Wow, look at how perfectly that turned out Mika! Now we can hang out together!” Panda exclaimed ecstatically, throwing an arm around his shoulder suavely and leading him in the completely opposite direction than the one Astrid and Schlatt went. He was happy to hang out with Apandah, of course he was, but his feelings couldn’t help but make him ache and stress over how it could go with just the two of them hanging out together. He felt queasy, and his heart was beating twice as fast due to the simple close-proximity of him and Apandah.
“Where should we head first, dude?” Apandah inquired, not quite sure where to go despite leading Mika to some random area in the mall.
“Hmmm,” the other pondered, trying to play it cool, “Spencers has some cool stuff, right? You’d probably find the back funny too…” He almost immediately regretted it though, because Apandah quite literally jumped up in joy, screaming “hell yeah!” In the middle of the mall. He composed himself quickly enough though, taking Mika by the hand and leading him to where he thought Spencers might be.
—————————————————
“Fuck, Astrid, do you really need all of this shit? It’s heavy!” Schlatt was walking a foot behind his girlfriend, struggling with around 3 bags in each hand already, heavy and burdensome in his aching hands.
“Of course I do, honey! If you’re here, I don’t need to worry about any of the struggles that comes with shopping, like actually paying for any of it or holding any of it!” She’d been smiling as she walked, quite ecstatic about the clothes and figures that she’d bought with Schlatt.
He kept up his annoyed act— though it wasn’t an act entirely, because his hands actually hurt— and semi-conceded by grumbling, “Yeah, yeah, you’re just lucky you’re hot, bitch.”
“Oh, is that why you’re helping me then? Just because I’m hot?” She urged, stopping in her tracks and turning in his direction to glare at him, “Not because you love me? Because if that’s so, I don’t think you’ll be deserving of the ‘present’ I was going to give you in the bathroom…”
Jschlatt almost dropped all of the bags right then and there, like a dog called to attention, imploring Astrid with, “Don’t get ahead of yourself babe! You know I love you, honest! Pleaseee, do not change your mind. I’ll hold like, three more bags just for you, ‘cause I love you so much. Please.”
The blonde could only giggle, loving how her boyfriend looked all desperate and regretful. “That’s what I like to hear, baby,” she smiled, foxlike and cunning, “Now come to the bathroom with me, I think you earned that present of yours.”
“Say less!” And the man walked with her to the nearest bathroom, shameless as the bags felt a little lighter, mentally.
——————————————————
After Mika and Apandah searched the Spencers, they came out with a few funny shirts, boob cups, and a Rammy plush they happened across while searching. They would have stayed longer, but Apandah’s obscene innuendos that he’d made with the sex toys in the back of the Spencer’s made a scene in the store, and the teenage workers were eyeing them like they were one sex joke away for kicking them out (or choking them, but they didn’t want to stay around and find out what the outcome could’ve been).
“Did you really need to bring the… toy… so close to your mouth, Panda? You weren’t even gonna buy it!” Mika stressed, biting his nails as he agonized the entire situation that went on in the store.
“Of course I did dude!” Apandah rebutted, grinning wide at the— in his opinion— hilarious memory before continuing, “It’s all in the past now anyway. What I really like is that we found Schlatt’s stupid Ram plush! Fuck, when we see him, we’re gonna tease the shit out of how soulless this stupid guy is.”
Mika smiled a bit shyly at that, at least sharing the humor in that idea as he spoke, “Well I like that idea, at least. I would’ve never thought his plush would be there! I don’t get why we bought it, though… Are you gonna take it home and cuddle with it or something?” He grinned at the thought, full teeth, because Apandah sleeping with a plushie must have been the most adorable thing ever.
“Nah, nah, that’s too gay, man. I’ve got a better idea,” he pulled the plush from the Spencer bag, and in a strange twist, handed it to Mika instead. “I know it’s weird to give you a stuffed animal of our friend’s YouTube persona, but I think it’d be nice if you had it.” And, god, this was embarrassing for him, but Mika thought his heart would explode as he took it from him and held it lovingly. Apandah’s action gave him a slight burst of confidence, and without a word, Mika surprised him back with a kiss to the cheek. It was quick, light, almost unnoticeable if he hadn’t focused his attention entirely on Mika.
“That was… gay… dude…” he uttered, cheeks flushing a bit at the action before continuing with, “but… not bad. You wanna continue doing that some other time?” For once, he didn’t look him straight in the eye while shooting a romantic remark his way, and this was immediately how Mika could tell that he was being genuine about how he felt.
Mika was over the moon when he said this, smiling and grabbing Apandah’s non-occupied hand when he accepted. “I’d do that for you anytime, Apandah. Now come on, how about we go find Astrid and Schlatt to regroup?” And for once, Mika led Apandah around, feeling more comfortable than he’d ever felt around Apandah. Ever.
———————————————————
It took forever to find the two, for some reason, but when they finally did, it was blatant to them why they couldn’t find them for so long. The two had walked up to the couple, looking like a total mess on both ends. Astrid’s hair had way more strands poking out than it did when she styled it, her lipgloss was missing, and she— idiotically— had at least three hickeys span across her neck, out in the open for the whole mall to see. Schlatt, on the other hand, had his hair look entirely out of place compared to when they last saw him. Unlike Astrid, his hickeys were mostly obscure by their placement, beneath his jaw and at the border of his sweater collar. The icing on the cake, though, was the fucking unzipped zipper of his jeans, Apandah had to hold back the urge to laugh absurdly in their faces.
“We’ve been looking for forever for you guys! Where’ve you guys been?” Mika asked, holding back a smile as he continued to examine them.
“Just… buying stuff, and whatever… I mean, look! We’ve literally got bags from the shopping!” She responded defensively, hand resting on her hip.
“Mmm.. yeah, yeah… sure,” Apandah looked at them with a smirk before pointing out to Schlatt, “Your zippers down, by the way.” Even though he quickly zipped it up after being told, it was futile, because both Apandah and Mika had already noticed it.
“Goddamnit Schlatt, you had one job!” Mika didn’t think he’d ever seen Astrid so angry and embarrassed at the same time before, looking extremely close to strangling her boyfriend to death (though realistically, he’d probably like that).
“Funny that you think the fly was the most obvious part about your… escapade… Aztro…” Apandah uttered, weirdly feeling like the most responsible person there at the moment— and that was sad.
Clapping her hands over both sides of her neck— and completely missing the one in the middle of her neck, Aztro just announced loudly, “That wasn’t my fault either, so fuck you guys!” Though the girl then let her eyes drift to the Rammy plush in Mika’s hands, feeling herself want to laugh as she couldn’t even comprehend how they obtained one of them in the mall.
“You guys are interrogating us and shit, and yet you stand here with my fucking plushie in your hand. In fact, where the hell did you even get that?” He’d pushed aside his own embarrassment, now just genuinely curious as to why his marketable plushie was right in front of him right now.
“How in character of you to not know who sells your stuffed animal! It was at Spencers, where we also bought a dildo!” “We did not buy a fucking toy, Apandah.”
“Oh, what did you guys do then?” Now it was Astrid’s turn to tease them, though she didn’t really have any proof that they did anything. Their reactions, however, gave them away, as they both got very quiet, and eyes flickering between each other and then the other two in discomfort.
Aztro’s smirk only got bigger, but she didn’t prod more than that, instead saying, “Let’s just go home, then. Me and Schlatt have… plans, anyway.” This earned her a sigh in relief from Apandah, a look of disgust from Mika in the face of her innuendo, and a hitch in breath from Schlatt, who hadn’t even known that the two of them even had plans. They’d made their way towards the exit, but Aztro fell behind with Mika, whispering in his ear, “Later, I’m gonna make you tell me everything that happened between you and Apandah. No hiding it.” And Mika looked worried, of course, but his reciprocated feelings from Apandah were too good to hide, so he just nodded awkwardly. God, today was totally different from how he thought it would go.