Chapter Text
The first time Daisuke read the letter, he felt relief. He wasn't alone in pining for her. She had never stopped longing for him, either. He felt a twinge of pride that none of her- apparently many- subsequent lovers had ever compared to him. The first time he read it, he thought “good for her,” and got on with life.
After they returned from the ectic station, he read the letter again. And again. He began to see it for what it was: the regret of a woman who had alienated everyone she'd ever been close to. A woman who couldn't leave well enough alone, whose curiosity would outweigh her wisdom every time.
After he read it for the fifth time, he slowly removed Comfrey's ring from his neck and shut it into the side table drawer. It felt heavier now, and he knew he'd move quicker without it. After some quality time with his harmonica, Daisuke read the letter five more times. Damn if it didn't feel like mourning her all over again.
There was anger. He began to feel hurt at the casual mention of her conquests. Daisuke had never been a jealous lover- always ready to hear a raunchy story of a lover's past- but reading the letter now, he found the callousness in it. It began to speak to him of the easy way Comfrey left people behind. Of course she couldn't find anyone to give a damn about.
And damn it all, he loved her. Loved that she would write to him while in bed with a man he thought he'd killed. Damn if that wasn't the type of stone-cold shit he admired. He loved her and he wanted her and he hated her for making him choose anything other than being with her forever.
Since he stepped foot back on the Zephyr he'd considered this space- the captain's quarters- to be sacred above all others. He told himself it was just for him, so he could bathe in these memories because he simply didn't want anything else but her.
But as he'd held Olethra while she wept at the ectic station, he began to wonder if he too was trying to keep a polished image of Comfrey alive despite the tribulations of her faults. He knew Comfrey better than anyone. In a way, the hardest part of these discoveries was that none of it was surprising. It was all completely, unbearably Comfrey.
Finally, Daisuke felt something he'd never felt for Comfrey before: pity.
A knock at the door came in a whimsical rhythm. Daisuke knew immediately who it had to be. He felt a little jolt of dread that quickly suffused into ripples of excitement.
“Yeah,” Daisuke called gruffly to the door, and it inched open on his command. “Will you give us a minute, Ghost Dog?”
The old hound's ears had perked up at the knock. He gave a soft chuckle as he slowly moved his old bones. “Give ya more than a minute, hoss.”
Daisuke grinned slightly and didn't know what to do but blow the harmonica in a musing phrase. Ghost Dog made his way slowly down from the bed, using an end table and a stool as a makeshift staircase.
Wealwell poked his head in. “May I join you?” He asked, more demure than Daisuke had ever seen him.
Pappy nodded and played another pensive phrase on the harmonica. As Wealwell stepped into the room, Ghost Dog ambled out with a parting “get to bustin’, Daisuke.”
“Lock the door,” Pappy said, and Wealwell did.
Wealwell pulled up a chair and listened to Pappy breathing his blues into the harmonica. As he went quiet to catch his breath, Wealwell softly said, “if you wanted to talk about it, I'd listen.”
Pappy pondered the invitation for a long time, turning his instrument over in his hands. Finally, he grabbed the letter beside him and handed it to Wealwell. Wealwell's eyes went wide with awe, understanding that Pappy trusted him with it. He took the letter with a trembling hand.
Daisuke carried on his conversation with the harmonica as Wealwell read the letter. When he finished, he waited for Pappy's silence and then said, “I didn't know Professor McCleod, and I don't know what your relationship was like, but this isn't the kind of letter I'd write to someone I loved.”
Pappy closed his eyes, tears too near. “We're grown. No stranger to telling tales.”
Wealwell tried to work out if Daisuke was sincere or just telling himself a familiar line.
“I think she never meant for me to see it.”
Wealwell shrugged. “She wrote it as a letter, and sealed it.”
“Maybe she never wanted to see it again either.” Pappy sighed a mournful sigh, let it become a melancholy melody through the reeds of the harmonica.
Wealwell cautiously moved closer, like Pappy might have been a hungry dog. He sat on the bed, close enough that his thigh touched Pappy's. Gently, he rubbed Daisuke's back.
“I don't know how much more I can take,” Daisuke confessed, so quietly as to be barely audible. “I thought all I wanted was to find her. I still do. I thought that- when I found her-” it became too much again, he turned back to the harmonica.
“Dunno what I thought. Something damn foolish. If I found her now, I wouldn't even know what to say,” he whispered. “I'm afraid I wouldn't be able to say anything. Even now, seeing her bad choices, I'm ready with excuses. I'm ready to understand, to give her the benefit of the doubt. And I'm afraid the more I do that, the more it's gonna put everyone at risk.”
Wealwell had already developed a less-than-generous opinion of McCleod throughout this adventure, seeing the way she weighed on Daisuke. There were quite a few things he could think of to say to the woman, but he didn't think any of it would help Daisuke.
Slowly, gently, Wealwell took Pappy in his arms. The old man didn't resist; he let himself be held, and finally, let himself cry.
Deep down, he was so tired of being understanding. Tired of making excuses and giving her grace. Tired of longing for their good times while he buried the bad ones. He wanted to be able to quit her; to let her go with the same confidence he had when he'd walked away from her a decade ago.
She was reckless. She never had been any good at handling things with care. He was reckless, too. He used to think that made them good for each other, but it hadn't made them anything special. Just two reckless people throwing everything away, leaving broken pieces behind them.
Daisuke liked to think he was more careful now, but he knew he wasn't. The young man holding him was proof enough of that.
“I'm sorry,” he croaked. Even now as guilt bore down on him for all the ways he'd hurt this boy, he wiped his tears and snot on his cravat. “I'm sorry, Wealwell.”
“What? Pappy, I can't be hearing you right.”
“I'm sorry, I'm sorry for-”
Wealwell kissed the sad old man in his arms. “Don't. Don't apologize. For anything.”
“I've hurt you, I've hated you. I've been reckless, just like her. Like the people I care about are nothing but things. Just things to use.”
“You care about me?” Wealwell smirked playfully.
“Careful now,” Pappy said, to himself or Wealwell, he didn't know.
“I don't know what's going to happen, Daisuke, but you have my word that I'll be there when it does.”
“Hush up now, boy.” Pappy pulled Wealwell's lips back to his, and together they fell back into the large bed. He didn't need promises that couldn't be kept and he didn't need sweet nothings. Life was too short and too hard for all that.
Together they wrestled like lovers in the bed, stripping off clothes and touching. Kissing, rutting, and switching positions. It was more tender and careful than anything they'd done before. Like this, they didn't need words. Wealwell could feel Daisuke's desperation in his hands and Pappy understood Wealwell's devotion through his lips.
Eventually, Daisuke reached for the ungent that smelled like sex with Comfrey. He took a certain pleasure now in using it. He slicked his dick and Wealwell took him inside. Daisuke fucked him slow, pulling his hair, holding his legs over his shoulders. When he was done, Wealwell ate his ass and then fucked it, pounding the old man until he came so hard he saw stars. Pappy kissed him all through it, fucking his mouth with his tongue.
Hungry, drunk on oxytocin, Daisuke pulled Wealwell forward to fuck his mouth. The young man straddled his face, feeding Pappy his throbbing pink dick. Daisuke clutched his ass, massaging it as it thrust into his throat. He was happy to have every thought in his head wiped away, every sensation in his body overcome. He held Wealwell in place even as he came, the load filling his mouth and spilling over his lips. Wealwell kissed him, and licked himself away.
“WEALWELL!” A drunken shout rose from the hot tub full of ten people. A couple of the Gotch crew were joined with the adventurers, sharing barrels of rum and a pipe of cherry tobacco.
It was the most enthusiastic greeting Wealwell had ever received. He felt himself blushing at his new popularity as he stripped down to join everyone in the crowded tub.
Maxwell and Monty ushered Wealwell into the water between them, both throwing an arm around him. Wealwell happily snuggled into Monty's bulk as the adventurer began to recount a tale of wildlife escapades. The crew- all contentedly pink- had no shortage of stories to share, all of which conspicuously lacked Comfrey's presence.
Even Marya, with one of Van's arms around her shoulders, wore the most dramatic curl of her lips- still something less than a smile- that Wealwell had thus seen. She wore a bandage around one arm that she kept out of the water.
Monty reloaded the pipe and let Wealwell have the fresh hit as he launched into a tale involving Onion that became quite raunchy. Wealwell couldn't help but wonder if there had been something special between the two men.
“PAPPY!” The assembled crew shouted joyously. Wealwell smiled as Daisuke appeared, in nothing but his smallclothes, carrying a towel. He flinched a bit at the noise but nevertheless gave a crooked grin. He eased his lanky body into the hot tub and gave Maxwell an affectionate ruffling of the hair.
Daisuke took the pipe from Bert as it passed around and the cherry tobacco seemed to bring memories flooding back to him. He too had stories about Onion and Haunch, which in turn inspired more memories in the others.
“GHOST DOG!” Everyone yelled as the ancient labrador entered, claws clacking on tile. He made a few circles and curled up with his back to Pappy's.
Wealwell knew there was a strain of sadness hanging over everyone after their discoveries at the ectic research station, but now they had all come together in loving comfort, holding on to each other for dear life. As Wealwell felt Monty's rolicking laughter, he thought perhaps he and Maxwell might finally have a family who loved them.