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ACT ONE: HEAVEN
SCENE ONE: The Pearly Gates
Enter GOD and NICHOLAS.
NICHOLAS
[Sauntering leisurely, unworried.]
Hey God-
GOD
[Stroking his beard, appearing bored. He does not bother looking up from the clipboard he has in hand.]
So it’s really straightforward. The one rule is you can never have still been pining over your decade-long teenage situationship while married. Like, that's literally it.
NICHOLAS
[He coughs nervously.]
Okay listen-
[BLACKOUT]
[END OF SCENE]
The driver had told Harua that everyone's version of Heaven would be a little bit different.
"Really?" he'd asked, peering out of the window. For miles and miles all he could see were endless rolling fields of feathery white flowers, gently swaying in the breeze. Asphodels, he'd somehow known. There hadn't been a single cloud in the sky. In front of them, the road had been perfectly straight, single-laned and one-way, and completely empty. Just Harua, and the driver. "Will anyone I know be there? What if it gets lonely? What if I don't like it?"
"You'll like it," the driver had said, and then there had been no more conversation. Harua must've fallen asleep.
The next thing he'd known, he'd been standing in front of an apartment door, two suitcases in hand, wearing a heavy backpack. Harua remembers thinking that he'd been a far more boring person than he'd thought himself, looking around the place. It'd appeared like any other Tokyo apartment, white walls, wood floors, small. One-bedroom and one-bathroom. Out of the window the view had been remarkably boring, some kind of frankenstein mash of Nagano, Ginza, and Apgujeong, four familiar departmental stores lined together along a surprisingly packed street in a way no sane developer would have permitted. He'd blinked, and the next thing he'd known his suitcases had been unpacked and the apartment had been furnished, wedding pictures stuck onto the stocked fridge, held up by Sanrio magnets. A vase of pink flowers, hawthorns, had materialised on the dining room table, next to a steaming clay pot of home-made tantan nabe, a dish he hadn't had in a very, very long time.
On Harua's second day of being dead, he'd gone to see his mom, who, by some miracle, had been his next-door neighbour. The woman who'd answered the door had looked very different from the mom in his recent memory. Gone was the silvery hair, replaced by a full head of raven; as were the crows' feet around her eyes, smoothened lids used as a canvas for glittery eyeshadow that he hadn't seen her wear since he was little.
"We're both vain, aren't we?" she'd laughed, crammed next to him inside the photobooth. In between camera flashes and V-signs, she'd asked, "Isn't it strange, seeing your mom the same age as you?"
"A little," he'd said, honestly. "I don't really care, though. I really missed you, Mama."
"Good thing we'll have forever to catch up, then," she'd said, ruffling his hair as Harua had squawked. "Who do you think you'll go see next?"
Harua had spent the rest of the week looking for his friends. Or, more accurately, he'd spent the rest of the week wandering around the city, and his friends had spawned in front of him. Fuma had been twenty-five, and Yuma just slightly older, the same as he remembered them during their peak; Taki had been middle-aged, wearing a simple gold band around his finger. In a remarkably fatherly way, he'd shown Harua around the parts of Heaven that were the same for everyone, where reception was and so on—Harua hadn't actually been stuck at twenty, thank God—and then brought him to the viewing deck, where they'd wistfully watched an elderly Maki sing a lullaby to his grand-nephew. Finding Kei had been a little disconcerting, Harua having to look down at him for the first time in his life, a man he'd looked up to all his life showing up in front of him a ruddy-cheeked preteen on the way back from school after soccer practice.
"When everyone's come up, we should remake &TEAM," little Kei had said, kicking his ball along the street. Hopelessly endeared, Harua had reached over to pinch his cheek.
Jo had been the last. Taki had told Harua that he'd have to go to him, instead of vice versa. And so after a four-hour train ride that had lasted two minutes, Harua trekked uphill through a tiny, foot-eroded dirt path through a lush bamboo forest—the lack of sudden teleportation or a magically appearing bus implying that Jo liked his little pocket space that way, though Harua sure hadn't—before finally arriving at a clearing in which a small wooden house had been erected. Jo's greyed head had appeared from behind a sliding door, as if expecting him.
"So we did end up meeting in the next world," Harua had said, while Jo slowly poured him a cup of tea, the skin around his long fingers wrinkled and tanned with age. They were in the living room, although it'd looked more like a storage room, large canvases stacked along the walls, not a single paper screen left pristine, dirtied with paint ranging from small specks to large splotches. There had been a large spill of blue in the center of the floor that looked as if Jo hadn't even bothered to blot it before it dried. "You're really old."
"And you're really young." Jo had mirrored, with a small smile. Even old, he'd looked handsome. In his lap lay a fluffy white dog. "Were you going around catching up with everyone, then?"
Harua had nodded, thumbing at the ring on his left hand. "I've got nothing better to do yet, you know, waiting for them to come up."
"That takes a while, sometimes," Jo had hummed understandingly. "Time's strange here. I died before Kei did, didn't I? But he was waiting at the gates for me when I arrived. And it took Kome-chan a while to join me, even though she passed first."
Harua had blinked at him in disbelief. "You named your dog rice?"
That had been ages ago, though. Harua had tried keeping track of time, crossing out dates on a calendar that had appeared on his desk, only for the marks to disappear or mysteriously double every time he woke up, forcing him to eventually give up. Mentally though, it'd felt like at least a full month since Harua had first shown up in Heaven—and Nicholas and Euijoo were yet to follow.
Sitting in one of the many, many nice cafes and sipping at his tenth hojicha latte of what might be a week, Harua starts getting anxious.
SCENE TWO: Passing Through Purgatory
Enter NICHOLAS and THE DRIVER.
NICHOLAS
[Leaning over the center console from the back seat.]
Can I at least make a little request? Just a small one, I promise. Just an itty bitty one.
THE DRIVER
[Sighing very loudly.]
Exit NICHOLAS and THE DRIVER.
[END OF SCENE]
Hell isn't nearly as bad as Nicholas had been expecting. He'd expected fire. On the drive down he'd imagined himself chained to a cliff and getting his guts pecked out, just like Prometheus, or being forced to commit Sisyphean seppuku, something like that, or maybe even being made to join I-Land again, but there had been no such thing. Maybe the advanced torture was reserved for worse people, Nicholas reasoned. Surely he wouldn't be in the same place as actual criminals.
Hell for the sin of being the less-loving one, instead, is a labyrinth that looks disturbingly similar to 10-31 Nonhyeon-dong, Gangnam-gu. The same black walls, same attempt-at-minimalism furniture, the same fingerprints all over the glass doors. It's the same clammy microclimate, the air conditioning way too cold and way too warm at the same time.
Nicholas spends two hours straight wandering around looking for an exit, and when he can't, decides to give up, ducking into a random empty practice room to have a lie down on the stiff sofa. In the mirror, he stares at his twenty-something self's appearance, the words BigHit Entertainment in round sans serif letters looming behind his head.
He wonders if there's still Wi-Fi and YouTube down here.
SCENE THREE: Heaven, East Reception
Enter HARUA, ANGEL #3 and ANGEL #6.
HARUA
Um. I'd like to make an enquiry.
ANGEL #6
[Nodding.]
Dyudyudyu.
HARUA
What?
ANGEL #3
State your enquiry.
HARUA
There's someone I'm looking for- There's two people I'm looking for, actually. They should have come up the same time as me. Uh. Nicholas Wang and Byun Euijoo.
[ANGEL #3 and ANGEL #6 look at each other knowingly.]
ANGEL #6
[As if delivering sad news.]
Dyudyu...
HARUA
[Frustrated.]
What is he saying?
ANGEL #3
In hell.
HARUA
[Eyes widening.]
That can't be right!
ANGEL #6
[Enthusiastically.]
Hell!
[BLACKOUT]
[END OF SCENE]
"Kei-hyung," Harua says. It's odd saying it to a nine year old, but habit is a hard thing to break. "I have bad news."
Kei's eyes widen. With round cheeks still full of soba—Harua's treat, though it's not like it really means anything, when money literally falls from the sky here—he asks, "What kind of bad news?"
"Remember what you said about getting &TEAM back together once the others got here?" he starts. Harua's kind of regretting not telling Taki first. Taki raised three kids, and while Kei isn't exactly a normal kid right now, Taki's the one who knows Kei best, after all. "Uh."
"Nico..." Kei guesses first. He already looks hurt, mouth shaped into a sad little pout, which only makes Harua feel worse. "Did Nico say that he doesn't want to?"
"No, nothing like that," Harua hurriedly corrects. "I'm sure Nicholas would say yes. It's just, ah. Him and Euijoo. Are. Apparently. In Hell?"
Kei starts choking.
ACT TWO: HELL
SCENE ONE: The Fiery Gates
Enter THE DEVIL and EUIJOO.
EUIJOO
[He walks up hesitantly.]
Uh. Hello. I'm not sure what to call you.
THE DEVIL
[Looking up from his clipboard this time, appearing amused.]
Byun Euijoo?
EUIJOO
Um. Yes. Am I in the wrong place?
THE DEVIL
[Glancing back at his clipboard.]
Nope.
EUIJOO
Huh? What? What could I have possibly done to warrant getting sent to hell?
THE DEVIL
Well, you were great. But some guy made a wish real hard to bring you here, see.
EUIJOO
Surely way too many good people would be in Hell if just a wish were enough to send someone here-
THE DEVIL
[With a smirk.]
Obviously. But this wish was really funny.
EUIJOO
[Angrily.]
That's not fair at all!
THE DEVIL
Exactly!
[BLACKOUT]
[END OF SCENE]
There isn't Wi-Fi or YouTube in here. The computers do at least still have downloaded music on them, but Nicholas isn't particularly keen on any of the tracks. There's minesweeper. And chess. Boring.
With nothing better to do than wander aimlessly around the neverending hallways of the old BigHit building, Nicholas is left with a lot of time to think. He's figured out that the layout of the place hasn't actually changed much—just that every exit leads back to the same place, mirrored, forming an inescapable loop. None of the windows open no matter how hard he tries, and while Nicholas hasn't quite felt the need to try smashing them open just yet, it's definitely somewhere on the agenda for later, whenever that later might be.
Recognising a familiar scuff on one of the doors, he swings open the door to a familiar-looking booth, a vocal room that he'd spent hours in, practicing all by himself even before I-Land had aired. There's a plugged in microphone, a set of speakers, and surprisingly, the phone he'd used all those years ago. Taking a seat in the office chair, Nicholas spins around slowly, taking in the ambiance of a place he'd never thought he'd ever be back in, several decades later.
He picks the microphone up, and all at once he starts seeing flashbacks of his life like a movie montage. Their last concert. Their first one. That adrenaline-filled debut night, that tight hug the nine of them had first shared, and the takeout bowls of aburasoba on the dorm floor. Even earlier—that hotel room that he'd shared with Kei and Taki and Euijoo.
Euijoo.
Suddenly, he feels very, very, lonely.
Sighing, he reaches for the phone. It recognises his fingerprint. No Wi-Fi, predictably, but this device, at least, has songs that Nicholas actually cares about on it. Scrolling through his library, he finds it—Dao Xiang—his most-listened song at the time, back when homesickness had been his best friend, and decides now is as good a time as ever to listen to it.
However, nothing comes out of the speakers. Nicholas double triple checks the volume level on them, and there's a blinking light indicating that they're on, but with no familiar notes coming out, Nicholas puts his face into his hands and groans. It's Hell after all. Maybe he's simply not allowed to enjoy things.
Then, the doorknob moves.
SCENE TWO: Heaven, East Manager's Office
Enter HARUA, ANGEL #1, ANGEL #3 and ANGEL #6.
HARUA
[Dragging ANGEL #3 and ANGEL #6 by the wings. He looks frazzled.]
How do I get someone out of Hell?
ANGEL #1
[Glancing at ANGEL #3 and ANGEL #6, who are sending him requests for help with their eyes. He looks impressed by HARUA's strength.]
Well, that's not really something that we can just do.
HARUA
But you can?
ANGEL #1
Well. God can. I can't. I have no real power here. I'm not even supposed to be a manager. I went to school to be a Cupid, not a Cherub. But the job market, eh, you know?
HARUA
[Visibly annoyed.]
So I'll just have to get to God, then? Can you help me do that?
ANGEL #1
Well, no-
[ANGEL #3 and ANGEL #6 frantically start nodding.]
ANGEL #6
Dyu! Dyudyu!
ANGEL #1
-thing is impossible!
HARUA
[As if the tension has left his body. He smiles attractively.]
Perfect!
ANGEL #6
[Fearfully.]
Dyu...
Exit HARUA, ANGEL #1, ANGEL #3 and ANGEL #6.
[END OF SCENE]
The door opens to reveal twenty year old Byun Euijoo's shocked face.
"Nichol-" Euijoo gasps. In his hand is a Bluetooth speaker identical to the one in Nicholas' booth, and coming from it are the chords of an acoustic guitar, accompanied by Jay Chou's voice, singing lyrics Nicholas must have heard at least a hundred times by now. Lip wobbling, his voice breaks a little when he says, "I'm so glad you're here-"
Nicholas gets out of his chair. Euijoo collapses into him with a sob, arms slung around his shoulders, and Nicholas buries his face into the crook of his neck easily.
"Are you crying?" Nicholas asks between wheezes. He can't stop fucking laughing.
"I'm not," Euijoo blubbers, obviously crying. "Why are you here?"
"God said I didn't love my husband enough," Nicholas says, arms wrapped around Euijoo's waist easily.
"Poor him," Euijoo says half-heartedly, wiping his eyes, much more composed now. He's never been much of a long crier. "I got sent here because- I don't know, an anti wished for me to go to Hell-"
"Oh," Nicholas says, removing himself from Euijoo. "Did they tell you that?"
"I'm just- Nichol, I'm so glad you're here with me." Euijoo doesn't let him get very far, gripping him by the shoulders. Nicholas can't recall the last time Euijoo had touched him this much, this fearlessly. "It's just a guess. Maybe it was a MY, you know-"
"Silly Juju," Nicholas giggles. "That was me."
"Huh?" Euijoo lets go of him. "Excuse me?"
Nicholas points at himself. "Me."
He watches Euijoo's brain stitch together the meaning of his words in real time. Euijoo's mouth forms a tight line, and his left eye twitches in visible anger. By his sides, his hands form tightly balled fists. Nicholas had missed this so, so much.
"I," Euijoo starts, voice low. "Am going to give you five seconds to run-"
Nicholas books it out of the vocal room, only for Euijoo to come thundering after him no less than two seconds later, hot on his heels.
"You lied!" Nicholas yells, breaking into a big smile against his will.
"And you freaking damned me to Hell!" Euijoo screams back.
SCENE THREE: Somewhere In-between
Enter GOD and THE DEVIL
THE DEVIL
[Watching NICHOLAS and EUIJOO on a phone screen.]
Is it too late to undo Nicholas' wish?
[From the phone's speakers, a loud banging noise followed by a high-pitched moaning sound is heard.]
GOD
[GOD peeks over THE DEVIL's shoulder with a look of disgust.]
I don't want them on my end either, man.
"Did you know- ah- Juju," Nicholas pants, face pressed against the cold hardwood. "There's no sex in Heaven?"
"I don't care that we're both already dead," Euijoo grunts into his ear, hips snapping against Nicholas' ass. "I'm going to kill you."
SCENE THREE, CONTINUED: Somewhere In-between
Enter HARUA.
HARUA
[He has ANGELS #1, #3 and #6 tied up with rope, hauling them across the floor with close to no effort.]
I'm here to ask that Nicholas Wang and Byun Euijoo be moved up to Heaven.
THE DEVIL
[Slightly afraid.]
About that.
GOD
[He skillfully ducks behind THE DEVIL.]
About that.
HARUA
[Tapping feet impatiently.]
About that?
[BLACKOUT]
[END OF SCENE]
Euijoo wakes up with a searing headache. Instead of the old practice room floor he remembers falling asleep on, he's on a too-soft bed, and he's cold. He kicks around the bed looking for something to cover his freezing feet with, and instead finds warmth in the back of someone's knees. He blearily blinks his eyes open, coming face-to-face with Nicholas, fast asleep and hogging all the blankets.
"Your feet are so cold," Nicholas mumbles, not opening his eyes.
"We have dance practice in less than an hour," Euijoo hears himself say. "Kei-hyung's going to come in and start yelling soon."
Nicholas yawns, and pretending to not hear, buries himself deeper into the sheets. After a moment, he raises his hand so Euijoo can crawl in next to him. Euijoo, against his better instincts, goes.
ACT THREE: ALL'S WELL
SCENE ONE: The Pearly Gates
Enter HARUA, NICHOLAS and EUIJOO.
HARUA
[Yawning.]
Took you two long enough. Nice rings.
NICHOLAS
[Joking.]
You were waiting for us to die? Again?
EUIJOO
[He elbows NICHOLAS.]
Is this Heaven? I didn't get to this point last time.
HARUA
I know. I went through a lot of trouble to bring you two here.
NICHOLAS
Is that why you're the one with the clipboard this time?
EUIJOO
[Incredulously.]
What, are you God now?
[HARUA shrugs.]
[BLACKOUT]
[END OF SCENE]