Chapter Text
Reaping day was always a big ordeal in district 4, especially for little 5 year old Johnathan Storm. Despite the fact he isn't old enough to stand with the big kids yet, lined up in their rows, Susie still makes sure to help him get dressed in his nicest clothes.
“Johnny, do you think you can put on your coat? I think it's on your chair”, Snapping out of his daydream, Johnny looks around their small living room.
“uhh yeah, I think I got it”
Chubby fingers struggle with the many buttons; some being skipped or misaligned but having buttoned it to the best of his grade school abilities brings him a sense of pride. Totting into their single bedroom to proudly show off his hard work.
Susie is rushing around the room pulling her short hair behind her ears and setting it with a coral white headband, all the while battling with her thin cardigan. Her head quickly whips to the door, alerted by his soft footsteps.
“Oh good, are you ready to see nice Mrs. Flanagan?” She questions as she takes my hand in hers, leading us out the house. “I hate asking for favours like this, but I hate leaving you home alone more. Especially on reaping day, it’s all just too much to worry about.”
Leading us out the door sue struggles to get the old lock to close properly before we start off down the dirt path.
Mrs. Flanigan is a nice older lady that sometimes takes me out to see the fishermen on their boats while Susie goes to school. Shes really cool, even if she can’t speak that much. Susie tells me she won the games once but struggles talking after she had an accident. I don't mind, I like talking and Mrs. Flanigan said I can talk enough for the both of us.
I kick up the rocks on the path as we make our way down, feeling myself get knots in my tummy seeing the crowds get busier. I grip Sue’s hand in mine tighter, not wanting to get lost in the bustle. She looks down at me and squeezes back with a tight smile.
It feels like everybody in 4 is squeezed into this one spot. Everyone working their way down the thin winding ocean roads, stepping in sync. I try to tuck myself closer into my big sister's side, if only to just avoid getting hit by a stray limb.
Heavy looking clouds catch my eye through the small cracks between bustling bodies and limbs, as we worm our way through. Their looming bodies only adding to the claustrophobic day.
I know the instant when Sue spots Mrs. Flanigan in the crowd as she starts to walk faster, to the point I stumble a bit trying to keep up. Susie just scoops me up under my arms to hold me against her hip as she weaves between families. My face flushes at the action, tucking it under her chin as I grip at her blouse.
“Susie, I can walk by myself you know” I scrunch up my face and try to press it further into her collar bone, “I’m a big kid now! I even got my coat and boots on all by myself!”.
I feel her laugh, jolting me upwards as she adjusts her grip “Sorry big man, I’m just in a little bit of a hurry right now. I still have to get registered with my class so we’re cutting it a little close right now”
Huffing, I resign myself to being carried.
“Mags!” I hear Susie callout as we slow to a stop, “I just want to thank you again for watching Johnny during the reaping for me. I just couldn’t find anyone and-”
“Oh no” shes gently cut off by a soft, stilted voice, “It’s my pleasure”
Freeing my face from its fabric prison I look back towards Mrs. Flanigan's smiling face. She crouches a little, leaning towards me as her hands start to sign alongside her stuttered words.
“I love kids, and Johnny is always such a little helper”
I practically jump out of Sues arms at her words “yeah! It's because I'm such a big boy now, right Sue!” sending a smug smile towards my sister I fail to notice Mrs. Flanigan's hushed laughter, or my sister's exasperated eyeroll before she looked back to at me.
“Of course, Johnny. You’re very big now, too big for me to even carry; whoops!”
Laughter bubbles out as I feel Susie’s arm pretend to shake and drop me before I’m scooped up again. After giving one last tight squeeze I’m placed back on my feet. Sue’s hands are still gripped in mine as she crouches down to my eye level. Fighting to stay upright as she's pushed by the ever-moving crowd around us.
“I know this all may seem a little scary, but I have a big surprise for you today”
She lightly squeezes my hand before letting go. Reaching back to one of the sewn-in pockets of her faded blue skirt, Sue pulls something out. keeping it tucked tight into her palm she presses it into my hand, finally allowing me to see her treasure.
A delicate necklace sits in my palm, made of beautiful stone white shells. With each shell threaded through its side it shifts satisfyingly as I turn it around.
Taking it back out my hand Sue begins to unclasp the small locket on the top and threads it around my neck.
“This has been sitting under my bed to be given to you for a while now, I just never knew when the right time was. But, I figured since today is going to be a little scary, I thought you could use a little extra luck” Once finished fastening the clasp, Sue pulls back and looks me in the eye with a sad smile, “We were meaning to give this to you a while ago but, this year has been a little hectic. I’m just glad we still have each other”
Lips press a soft kiss into my forehead before Sue stands back up, looking a little misty-eyed.
Susie started to say something to Mrs. Flanigan in her serious adult voice, but I don’t hear what it was. I stay transfixed, softly running my hands over the beautiful shells that now lay around my neck. Rubbing them between my fingers I barley register as Sue disappears into the crowd, while Mrs. Flanigan gently leads me away to stand amongst the rabble. Hundreds of onlookers all surrounding rows of school children sorted into neat lines.
A weirdly dressed woman parades onto the stage. She yells into the solemn crowd with a weird accent.
I don’t look up from my new gift
On the large white screens that have been place around the square they play a short movie with blasting audio and screams.
I notice some of the shells are more yellow than others.
Large men dressed in white uniforms wheel large paper filled balls onto the stage. The scary woman reaches her hand inside and pulls out a small slip of paper.
I realise the cord is the same colour as my sister eyes.
“SUSAN STORM”
I think in that moment my heart stopped beating, if only for a second.
My head snapped up faster than I thought was possible. At my height I could just barely see a swarm of heads flick back and forth as the witch on stage searches the crowd for my sister. Looking through the hundreds of legs I see the tall white soldiers start to make their way through the rows.
I don’t even feel the violent tremors that have started to wrack my body until feel the stabilising hand of Mrs. Flanigan fall onto my shoulder. Shooting up, my free hand grasps her wrist in a near pantomime of the comfort I got from my sisters just tens of minutes before.
I watch as the white soldiers grab my sister from out of the crowd and haul her towards the stage. I watch as her head whips around, eyes desperately scanning the spectators even as she's pushed up the steps towards the witch. I watch as she's lifted above the even rows of children, onto the tall platform. And I watch as her eyes meet my own.
And in that second, I watch her crumble. Her knees almost giving out beneath her. Only being held up by the iron grip of the same pristine soldiers that keep her from running back to me.
Feeling tears start to blur my vision I bury my face deep into the side of Mrs. Flanigan's dress. I want to be big and strong like my sister believes me to be. But in this moment, I feel so small. Shame washes over me in that I'm not even brave enough to look back into my sister’s eyes for the rest of the ceremony. Barely registering anything bar my own heightened breaths and shivering grip on my sister's beautiful gift.
Feeling the skirt I was buried in move away, I swipe my now free hand over my eyes. If only to shield myself from what's happening around me.
Gentle hands pull mine away, swiping under my tear-soaked eyes and only then am I able to open them. A determined yet gentle gaze meets my own for a second before I'm being hefted into kind arms and taken away. Only now all my protests fall silent, and I allow myself these simple comforts.
Both hands come up and meet at the smooth surface of my gift, now gently grasping the uneven surface, as if in apology for unconsciously rough treatment of it just moments earlier.
I look up at the unfamiliar building I am brought before, only vaguely recognising the face of our districts’ mayor from an event at Susie's school. He’s looking at me now with a strange thin smile.
“Johnny, is it?” He questions, trying to look me in the eyes while I subconsciously try my best to melt deeper into the comfort Mrs. Flanigan's arms, “Susan’s been asking for you, I can let you go see her now before she goes”.
“Why does she have to go?” I wrinkle my nose, fighting back the tears in my eyes “She’s supposed to be here with me”
I see the two grownups give each other a look I don't quite know the meaning of before two of the white soldiers exit the weird building. They start towards us, and I duck my head back down, my momentary bravery slipping from my grasp.
I feel us start to move again but a deep nausea keeps me from lifting my head up high. Watching the scenery around me move as I'm carried inside, I can faintly spy the forms of parents running to embrace their children, crying in relief. Before the heavy double doors are roughly shut and I hear a familiar gasp from behind my turned back.
Before I can even react, I feel myself being pulled from Mrs. Flanigan's hold and cradled gently against a shaking body that falls to the ground. Squirming in firm arms I barley manage to turn myself around and look into Susie's tear-streaked face.
I've never seen her look so openly distraught. I want nothing more but to be brave for my big sister, yet find myself crumbling into her arms. Too exhausted to cry anymore I merely hold onto her as fiercely as my hiccupping body will allow.
Sue’s fingers start to comb through my hair as she cups my face and brings it away from her shoulder, looking into my puffy, freckle covered face. She bites her lip as a sad smile stretches across her cheeks.
“Hey, big man” swiping her thumb under my eyes, she brings me close to her chest; gently rocking “I’m going on a little trip. I'll be home soon; you’ll have to be very brave for me. But I'll be back before you know it”
“Why?” I begged, my voice already starting to get croaky all over again “Can I come with you? Where are you going?”
“Oh no, baby” Sue tries to smile gentle “you have to stay here, I asked our nice Mr. Mayor if he could find a nice family to take care you in while I'm away”
“But, WHY Susie” feeling my face scrunch up “Why do I have to go and stay with another family. Why can’t mom and dad come back to look after me instead? I just want to be home with you”
Watching Susie's face fall into a pained grimace as I speak, I try to worm my way further into her lap. Her mouth seems to flounder open and shut as she struggles to answer. Fresh tears build in her eyes before another figure joins us on the floor.
“He can stay with me” she shakily signs along, “Just until you get home, right?”
Sue takes a deep breath “Yes, of course. See Johnny, just till I'm home”
I feel the want to argue more build inside me. I don’t want Susie to leave me all alone. I don't want to be alone at all. But that flame inside me flickers out as the white plated soldiers crowd over us.
“Visiting time is over” they growl from above, before reaching to pull Sue up from the floor.
Scrambling, Sue presses one last kiss between my eyes before stumbling upwards. I side to the ground as I watch her be pulled out the door.
Mrs. Flanigan, who now insists I call her Mags, takes my hands in hers. She lets me calm my breathing before helping me stand.
The day continues but not in a fluid stream. I only vaguely register what's happening in short snippets, like captures in a photo album. I know Mags brought me home and helped me pack up what few outfits I had, most thread worn and old. She brought me to her house, bigger than any house I could ever remember seeing before and let me pick my own bed. She even let me decide my favourite meal for dinner and allowed me a little extra as supper.
And yet, I barely remember any of it. While my mind stayed in district 4, my heart was gone hundreds of miles away by then. My body seemingly shutting down until She returned home like she promised she would... like I hoped she would.
Simultaneously, days passed faster than I could ever imagine, while being also heartachingly long. Mags tried to get me out the house, taking me to yummy smelling candy shops or pastel bakeries. Any other day I would be jumping for joy at the potential of a peppermint sweet. A rare treat I only ever get for birthdays if we can spare the change. But now I can't even stomach the thought of stepping inside. My tummy so drawn up in knots it hurts to breathe most days.
Large sheets have been placed around the town square with flickering footage being projected into them at all times. Mags tries to not let me see them, but I still catch small glimpses through the fog. Tall, abandoned buildings covered in green. Moats of deep looking water. And big kids dressed in wetsuits walking across the water on thin beams. I'm not sure why Mags doesn't want me to see this, but I don't care. I just want to be home.
After wading through the haze for what’s felt like weeks now I get shaken wake by a warmly smiling Mags. She signs to me that todays a big day so I need to get dressed up in my nicest clothes after breakfast. I lean against her side as she carts me through the morning, her kind words help to keep me grounded. Before I know it, she's talking my small hand in hers and it feels like history repeats itself.
Walking down rocky paths as I kick them beneath my feet. The growing crowds of people cover me from every side. And I see the stage placed at the back of the city square get ever closer through the gaps between people's legs.
Except this time Mags squeezes my hand and leads me forward. Past the chattering crowd and to the steps of the stage. She helps me walk up past the mayor, who flashes me a sweet smile. And up past the white plated soldiers who watch me as I struggle upwards.
Curtains that were normally drawn are now pulled back to show a large set of double doors behind them. Mags stands behind me now, bending over a little so she can rest her palms on my shoulders.
The sound of the people gets louder behind me as they announce over the big speakers something that surely sounds important. But all of that leaves my mind as the big doors in front of me swing open, and there she is.
Hair a little shorter, face a little thinner, but her smile grows to look exactly how she left it.
The instant I see Suzie step out from those doors, the roar of the crowd behind me doesn't even register in my mind. The heavy cloud that has been weighing on me chest finally feels as if it is lifting and in its place is more joy than I even knew I could feel.
Tears spring to my eyes and I jolt forwards, not even caring if the scary soldiers try to hold me back. Heavy sounding items clatter to the floor as Sue throws her arms out in return. scooping me up into her chest I started sobbing. Her fingers cart through my hair as we rock on the spot.
The square roars with noise behind, but all I hear is Susie's voice in my ear "I promised I'd be back, I promised you. I would never leave my family behind”
“I won’t leave you behind ever again, I promise that to you”
In one chubby fist I grip the uneven bumps of my beautiful necklace in my hand, finally back home.
