Work Text:
“Oscar? I uh, I need to speak to you about something.”
Oscar looked up from his book, frowning at the nervousness coming through the bond which was accompanied by the slight souring of Logan’s scent. The alpha studied his mate's face, clearly seeing the signs of stress that Logan was seemingly making no effort to hide.
“Lo? Baby what's up?” He held out a hand, silently encouraging his husband - and Oscar would never get over the rush that that gave him - to come closer, which Logan did but chose to sit at the other end of the sofa rather than cuddling close to Oscar.
Logan avoided eye contact, instead gazing down at his hands as he twisted them back and forth.
Oscar’s frown deepened and he put his book to one side, giving Logan his full attention.
“Logan, what's up?” He asked again, “are you feeling alright?” He had a sudden burst of panic, making Logan visibly jump as he felt it through the bond, “is the pup alright?”
“I'm fine, they're fine,” Logan quickly reassured him, reaching out to take hold of Oscar’s hand and squeezing it before pulling away, “but I have something I want to talk to you about and you're not going to like it.”
“Logan, come on,” Oscar held up his right hand, his ring proudly on display, “I'm pretty sure this means I always have to like your decisions.”
Logan smiled but it didn't reach his eyes and he looked away, taking a deep breath, “you know I signed with that new management group recently?”
“Yeah, have they managed to get any sort of plan together for next year?”
“Ah kind of?”
“Kind of? Logan that's gre-”
“Shh just shh a second,” Logan huffed and tipped his head back as he groaned in frustration, “they ah, they…so it's IMSA which is cool and I've driven ELMs and the cars are kinda the same but ah, the team…they also offered me this year.”
Oscar leaned closer to Logan as he processed the news, “what do you mean they offered you this year? I thought you told your new management that this year was off the cards,” he gestured towards Logan’s stomach, “for obvious reasons.”
“I ah, I did but they've offered the last two races of this year. To see how it goes and give me a chance to settle in before next year.”
“Okay and I’m guessing you turned them down for this year so what do you have to tell me?”
“That I…I didn't exactly say no?”
“Say that again? And for fucks sake,” Logan flinched slightly at the swear word so Oscar took a deep breath, “will you just look at me? Where did this come from? What happened to ‘I'm ready to have a pup, I'm ready to sit out?’”
“I have been sitting out! For a year.”
“Yes Logan, I'm quite aware of that but you said it yourself, you want to focus on 2026.”
“I know, I know but,” Logan stood up, running a hand through his hair in frustration as Oscar took another deep breath, “it's different when someone is actively saying ‘we want you to drive for us’ and ‘we have a seat for you and we're really excited to see what you can do.’ Do you know how long it's been since someone told me they were excited to see what I can do?”
“Tell me you're not actually considering this?” Oscar stood up as Logan turned away, “oh wait, you're not considering it. You’ve made your mind up, without even talking to me about it.”
“I knew what you'd say.”
“That's because for fucks sake Logan, you're pregnant.”
“I know Osc! I'm very well aware of that.”
“Then how can you be so selfish?”
“Me? I'm literally giving up my body to grow another human, how is that selfish?”
“Don't say it like I forced you into it! We had a discussion, we had many discussions about this! What happens if you crash?”
Logan winced, “I…” he started but trailed off.
“Exactly! You can't say you won't crash because you can never say that! What we do is dangerous Lo,” Oscar’s voice broke and he dropped back onto the sofa, hiding his face in his hands, “I used to always worry about you when you were racing,” he stated, looking up and meeting Logan's eyes, “and that hasn't stopped, I always worry about you Logan and now I worry about the pup.” He blinked rapidly, trying and failing to stop the tears from falling and he felt Logan's annoyance shift to concern, “if I haven't made it clear enough Logan, if anything happened to you…or them, it would break me.”
“It won't, I'm not going anywhere,” Logan sat down beside him and leaned into his alpha, “I'm not leaving you and neither are they. Look, I ah, I can understand if you don't trust me to drive-”
“Of course I trust you, I trust your talent,” Oscar turned and cupped Logan's face, “it's everyone else I don't trust. How can I trust all those drivers with the two most precious things in my world?”
Logan sighed, resting one of his hands on top of Oscar’s, “you're very good at guilt tripping, you know that right?”
“I'd say I'm sorry but I'm not. Look Logan, I get it. You want to drive and that team would be incredibly lucky to have you but I can't support this.”
Logan hissed, pulling away and Oscar let him, knowing that his mate needed space but he kept talking. “I can’t Logan, you're pregnant. I know I can’t outright stop you and I never would but I can't support this. Does the team know? That you're pregnant?”
“They know.”
“And they still offered you a seat?” Oscar asked, shaking his head in disbelief.
“It's not the 1930s Oscar, pregnant people don't have to be locked inside to keep them safe. Lots of people continue living exactly how they were before getting pregnant, hell a lot of people don't know they're pregnant at all and they're fine.”
“But you know. Can you genuinely look me in the eyes and tell me you'd race as hard, as aggressively as you always have, while being pregnant with our child? Or do they not mean that much to you?”
“Fuck you Oscar, you know how much I want them, how much I love them already.”
“Well you're doing a shit job showing it, you could kill them Logan! If you crash you could lose them. Then how would you feel?”
“Would you blame me?”
“What?”
“If I lost the baby,” Logan repeated, his tone cold to match the harsh look in his eyes, “would you blame me?”
“If you chose to get in a car and race and then crash? Yes.”
“Even if the crash wasn't my fault?”
“Your choice would have put you in that position. Logan, please, I want you to race more than anything but I'm asking you, please reconsider.”
“They want me Oscar,” Logan stated, moving to stand up once again, suddenly desperate to get away from his mate, “and I want…” he trailed off as he pressed a hand to his head, screwing his eyes up as he swayed on the spot.
“Logan? Baby?”
He felt Oscar’s hands on his arms, could smell his scent switching from frustration to concern which was echoed in the bond and Logan felt his own anger draining away as he sagged into his mate, Oscar taking his weight easily.
“What's the matter?”
“I just, I went really dizzy,” Logan murmured, rubbing his forehead. The dull ache that had been present throughout their argument had spiked as he'd stood up.
“Okay, let's sit down again,” Oscar gently rumbled as he carefully lowered Logan back onto the sofa, “easy easy, there we go. You're quite pale, I'm going to get you a glass of water.”
He hummed his agreement and heard Oscar’s footsteps retreating as he slumped back into the cushions. How had their honeymoon ended up like this? The lazy week they'd decided to indulge in before the season started up again had been going smoothly until now. Lazy mornings in bed, lounging around their villa for most of the day before spending hours in the nest in the evening, just relaxing and enjoying being together.
He hated arguing with Oscar but he knew they were lucky that they didn't argue regularly. He wasn't sure what he expected Oscar’s reaction would be when he told him about the seat but he hadn't expected that. He'd thought maybe Oscar would be cautious but overall supportive, he hadn't imagined Oscar being so out right against the idea. But did he have a point?
Logan bit back a sigh, of course Oscar had a point.
He knew the risks of racing. Every driver was well aware of what could happen when they stepped into a car and Logan had made peace with risking his own life a long time ago but risking his pups?
He moved one hand from his head to his stomach, gently massaging it as he felt another slight twinge. Growing pains the doctor had reassured them only three days ago when they'd rushed to a clinic after Logan had woken up with cramps and light bleeding and despite the situation, Logan smiled as he remembered how frantic Oscar had been that morning. Frantic but calm as he'd soothed Logan while simultaneously trying to find a clinic where they might speak English and later that concern had morphed into embarrassment when the doctor had explained the bleeding was likely the result of ‘enthusiastic bedroom activities.’
“What are you grinning about?” The sofa dipped as Oscar returned and Logan rolled his head to the side, opening his eyes slightly to see his alpha holding out a glass water.
“Just the other day,” Logan huffed slightly as Oscar held the glass up to his lips, ignoring Logan's admittedly shaking hand.
“Better?” Oscar asked after Logan had taken a few sips.
“Better, thank you.”
“Anything for my husband,” Oscar placed the glass on the side table, “I love you Lo.”
“I love you too Osc, I don't want to fight with you.”
“I don't either,” Oscar pulled Logan's hand away from his head, replacing it with his own and gently scratching his scalp, “what happened? Headache?”
“A bit yeah,” Logan purred at Oscar's actions, “and I just went dizzy when I stood up.”
“When we get back to the UK you should make an appointment. Your blood pressure was slightly high the other day and this is the sort of thing the doctor said to look out for.”
“I know Osc.”
“I know you know,” Oscar sighed, “look Logie, I'm sorry. For saying I'd blame you if something happend and suggesting you don't care about them, that wasn't fair.”
“No Osc, I'm sorry,” Logan shifted along the sofa until he was leaning against Oscar, tucking his head into his alphas neck and letting his scent wash over him. Oscar understood what his mate needed and wrapped his arms around him, holding him close as he rumbled gently and the two fell into a comfortable silence, letting their bond and emotions settle.
“I don't want to stop you racing,” Oscar whispered after a few minutes, “and truly, I wont stop you if it's what you really want Logie, please,” Oscar broke off with a short sob and Logan let out a low whine at how broken his alpha seemed, trying to push even closer to comfort him. “The other morning, when we woke up and you were bleeding,” Oscar continued, “I thought we were losing them and baby, I've never been so scared because I thought if we lost them, then I'd lose you as well.”
“Osc, you won't lose me.”
“You've had to overcome so much Lo,” Oscar continued like he hadn't heard Logan, “and I don't want you to have to overcome the loss of our pup as well.”
Logan whined again as his mind conjured up images of himself spinning out into the barriers, of waking up in a hospital to Oscar sitting by his side with tears in his eyes as he had to break the news. He thought about the joy on their families faces when they'd told them about the pup, he remembered the look on Dalton’s face when he learnt he was going to be an uncle and he remembered sitting on the bathroom floor with Oscar, crying and laughing in excitement and nervousness when they saw that the tests were positive.
He took one of Oscar’s hands and pressed it against his stomach, his hand on top.
“I don't know what I was thinking,” he whispered, “I can’t race.”
He felt Oscar press a kiss to the top of his head but he focused on the feeling of Oscar’s hand on his stomach, imagining doing it when he'd be able to feel the pup moving around, imagining the look on Oscar’s face when he felt them kick for the first time.
“I'm sorry,” he whispered, both to Oscar and the pup, how could he ever have thought he could put his own desire to win over them.
“It’s okay Lo, it's okay.”
“I was being so stupid.”
“Hey hey hey,” Oscar carefully shifted him back so they were looking at each other again, both their faces lined with tear stains, “it's okay.” Oscar kissed his forehead making Logan burst into fresh tears.
“Baby baby, it's okay,” Oscar soothed, trying to wipe away the tears but quickly giving up and pulling Logan fully onto his lap and nipping at Logan’s mating mark, the action sending little sparks of reassurance and safety through Logan’s body and he gradually felt himself calming down in response to his alpha.
“Didn't mean to make you mad,” he mumbled and Oscar responded by scenting Logan thoroughly, making sure Logan can tell that there's no trace of anger in his scent or in his body, just layers of concern and remorse for their fight and a slight lingering sense of frustration.
“Not angry at you,” Oscar rumbles, “my perfect omega, I was just scared and yes okay a little frustrated that you didn't understand but I was never mad or angry at you.”
“Really?”
“Really Loges, god I want you to be able to race, I want to be able to cheer you on the way you do to me, I want to see you win, I want everyone to see you win but you can't…not now.”
“I know,” Logan sniffed heavily, leaning back ever so slightly to see Oscar better, "I know,” he repeated with a sigh, “I can't risk it, I can't risk them.”
Oscar nipped at his mark again before kissing the area, letting his pride at Logan’s decision bleed through the bond.
“I think,” Logan started hesitantly, “I think I just got so caught up in everything and when they said this year…”
“I know Lo, you want to get back out there, I understand.”
“I hadn't told them yes or no just yet just that I'd think about it but I think, yeah, I just got stuck on the fact that someone wanted to sign me and I forgot about everything else.”
“And that's okay baby, you're allowed to be excited about it.”
Logan let out a soft sigh,“even if they offer me a seat for next year, I'd have to miss the start of the season anyway, IMSA starts so early in comparison to everything else and they may not even offer me a contract for next year.”
“And if they don't, it would be their loss. It also sucks that this didn't come earlier in the year.”
“Yeah but, I did turn down a seat,” Logan pointed out, “I turned down the ELMs contract because I needed more time for me and I think I'm better for it. I got to live like a normal guy in his twenties and just enjoy being in Florida and doing all the things I couldn't do growing up and it was good for me. Besides I was the one who brought up trying for a pup first, I decided that that was what I wanted and I do want it.”
“It was just hard having a choice again?”
“Yeah, I didn't expect it,” Logan rested his hands on Oscar's shoulders as he bit his lip, “I guess I need to call them so they can start looking for someone else.”
“Maybe they can have you around anyway? Those drivers probably don't need coaching like the pups you help at the karting track but maybe you could have an advisory role?” Oscar suggested, “review the data, strategy, something like that. Then you're still integrating with the team and learning about everything ready for next year.”
“If they want me next year.”
“If they do they do, if they don't they don't,” Oscar shrugged, “they know you're pregnant so they know you'll need to take some time out eventually but you don’t have to call them now, you can go nest and rest up a bit first.”
“Just me?” Logan frowned, “where are you going?”
“Well ah,” Oscar looked down, a hint of shame creeping into his scent, “after how I acted, what I said, I'd understand if you don't want me in your nest.”
Logan grinned, leaning forward to capture Oscar’s lips in a soft kiss which the alpha quickly deepened.
“I want you in my nest you dummy,” Logan stated after breaking away, Oscar chasing him with a slight whine, “my over protective alpha.”
“You’re sure? What I said…”
“Of course I'm sure Osc. I wish we didn't fight but you were just trying to make sure I didn't do anything stupid but,” he stared at Oscar, his eyes going cold, “if you ever insinuate that I don't care about our pup again, I'll rip your knot off and then I'll call the pack and let them deal with you, understand?”
Oscar hastily nodded and just as quickly as the coldness appeared, it was gone and Logan smiled, “nest?”
“Nest,” Oscar agreed, sliding an arm underneath Logan and lifting him as he stood up.
“Oscar!” Logan squealed with a happy laugh, “I can walk.”
“I know but you shouldn't have to. Not when I'm around and it's the least I can do. The way I acted probably made you feel worse.”
“It didn't help,” Logan admitted, “but Osc, I was arguing with you as well, it's both of our faults.”
“No more fighting then, at least until the pup is born.”
“Oh really? So what if I suggested I work with the team as a test driver?"
Oscar closed his eyes and took a deep breath, making Logan laugh, “we will not fight over it,” Oscar stated, voice slightly strained, “but we can have a calm, level headed discussion about it at a later time. No fighting doesn't mean I'm going to let you get away with everything.”
“Sure,” Logan purred, “we'll see about that my big sappy, overprotective alpha.”
Oscar huffed, rolling his eyes as he started walking towards the bedroom, “God help me when there's two of you looking at me like that.”
“She's going to be such a spoiled pup.”
“She?” Oscar questioned as he carefully placed Logan down in the middle of the nest.
“Just a feeling,” Logan smiled down at his stomach, “mothers instinct.” He held out a hand to Oscar who let out a happy rumble as Logan pulled him into the nest. “We've got you baby girl,” he murmured as he snuggled into Oscar’s chest, the alpha holding him close, “we'll protect you.”
He heard Oscar rumbling, felt it reverberating through his body as the alpha exuded safety, comfort and calmness and he purred in response. Logan let his eyes slip shut as he relaxed against Oscar, the bond flowing freely with love and contentment.
Despite Oscar’s reluctance, Logan knew he'd be able to wear him down and get him to agree to some kind of testing role but that was something he could tackle another day.
Right now, he was just happy to relax in the arms of his alpha and let their bond bounce back from their argument. He knew it would need to be stronger than ever to get through the next five and half months and then every day after that but he also knew that no matter what they were faced with, they'd be able to deal with it. Together.