Chapter Text
Peter made dead eye contact with Hood's helmet and asked "Name?" A shit eating grin threatening to pull at his lips.
"What's it look like?" Hood cocked his head to the side. Robin rolled his eyes and kicked his feet at the counter. Peter shrugged. Writing down exactly what he said.
"That'll be about $14. Cash or card?"
"Cash." Robin slid over a $50 bill, ignoring Hood's protests. "It's B's money, not mine. Quit being such a child."
"Says a lot coming from the three-apples-tall brat. How's the playground treating you at school, kid?"
Peter cashed out the change and ignored the possible murder in front of him. Who knew Red Hood could be bested by a toddler in spandex. Not him. Apparently not Red Hood either, considering he was kicking up a fuss over being suffocated. He made Robin's shake, and Hood's shaken espresso. Grinning to Robin before calling, "What's it look like? An order for What's It Look Like?"
Hood whipped his head to glare at Peter. Strong enough to feel it even through his helmet. Peter only responded by shaking his drink at him. Handing Robin his with the other hand. Hood snagged his drink and threw the change Peter had given back to them into the tip jar. "Get a better job."
"I like this one, thanks."
...
Peter paused at the sound of the store bell going off. Turning around with a snarky comment on the tip of his tongue before realizing who was at the door. "You-uuu. Are not Red Hood." He fumbled for a moment before slapping a customer service grin on his face. "Sorry about that! What can I get started for you?"
Nightwing visibly blinked under his mask. "That was incredibly creepy please don't do it again." His left arm was extended with Black Bat swinging back and forth on it. Her knees were locked around his elbow as he carefully meandered forward.
Black Bat patted her rides side before raising her hands to sign to him. "Tell him I want a lavender and blackberry tea. And ask if he has any sweets."
Peter nods before Nightwing has a chance to translate, "Yea, we have some shortbread cookies in the back as well as my favorite, blueberry crumble bars, if you want. It's like.. the perfect bite of a blueberry muffin every bite. Kinda jammy."
Black Bat perks from her perch. Effortlessly swinging into a handstand and then a back bend to stand up straight. He was only half jealous of the core strength it took to do that so easily. "You.. can sign?" She slowly articulates her words.
"Mhm!" He set her drink to brew as they spoke. "My aunt taught me before she passed away. Always considered it interesting, you know?"
"Yes." She grinned. Signing rapidly to Nightwing before turning to Peter again. "Are you. Fluent? Or, learning?" Her speech was stiff. As though still learning it, although her understanding was much quicker.
"I wouldn't say I'm fluent, but I do have a good track record of piecing it together." Peter drags his attention to Nightwing, "Do you want anything?"
"Just a hot chocolate. Coffee makes me tired." He gives a small grin.
Peter barely bites back a snort and a quiet, "Lame." But judging by Black Bat's giggling he wasn't very successful. He shoves that burst of embarrassment deep down and sets to making his drink as well. Black Bat's was done sleeping by now, so Peter added in the flavored syrup and handed that over to her, then added the chocolate mix to Nightwing's and setting it into the shaker.
He padded into the back room and set about filling a bag with lavender, lemon, and chocolate shortbread cookies, along with two blueberry crumble bars for them to share. It didn't seem like Nightwing was the kind to share his sweets.
When he finished and went back to the front, Black Bat had climbed back onto Nightwing's shoulder and was kicking her feet. Peter handed over the cookies and slid over a second tea for her. "Your total is $22.35, would you like cash or card?"
Nightwing gave a disbelieving glance at everything then squinted at the board. "...Cash is fine." He handed him two $100 bills, stuffing his change into the tip jar before Peter could protest. Peter didn't glare but he sure as hell didn't smile at them. Black Bat only giggled more. Traitor.
...
The crime lord sighed as he pulled off his bullet proof vest, slinging it over his arm and leaning against the counter. "Hi Peter. How's your night going?"
"Pretty okay," He leaned to the side to catch sight of the second half of the pair. "Red, just turn the sign to closed for five minutes. It's fine." He turns back to Hood, "What do you want?"
"You're so snippy with us now. I miss when you were nice." Hood complained while squinting at his phone. "Oracle wants a cinnamon crunch frap, I want a shaken espresso, and gremlin over there wants as much espresso you're legally allowed to give him with caramel on top." He jabbed a thumb over his shoulder to his brother. "Plus like two more shots of espresso."
Peter nodded while ringing up their order. Ignoring as Red Robin jabbed his elbow into Hood's diaphragm and cackling as he crumpled to the ground. He turned around and continued to ignore the sounds of wheezing and murder behind him and resolutely making the boy's order.
"That's the last time I do anything nice for you replacement!" Hood snarled. Red Robin yelped as he darted around the open dining area. "Where you running to?! We patrol together after this!"
"I'll let Nightwing cover me!" Double R screamed as Hood caught up to him, frantically scrambling to free himself. Peter stared at them until they noticed his gaze.
Red Hood dropped Red Robin without any fan fair and calmly strode to pick up his coffee. "Thank you." Ignoring his brother groaning on the ground, he took a long sip.
"You're welcome. Please fix the tables before you leave." He held out Red's drink calmly as he finally clamered to his feet and stumbled to the counter.
"We will." Red took a sip of his drink. "Okay, yea, Hood. You were right. I'm sorry. You can throw me off a building later."
Peter slowly raised an eyebrow at Hood's quiet "Yes!"
"Please don't kill him. I actually like this one."
...
Batman stood menacingly in front of Peter. Not speaking, not signing, but standing menacingly. His cape covered his entire form, looking every bit of the bat creature the public accused him to be.
Batgirl swept his cape open and popped her head out. Immediately shivering and signing to Peter that she wanted two teas and Batman wanted a hot chocolate.
Peter grimaces and nodded. Silently making their drinks before holding it out to the bat. "Good luck with Mr. Freeze. Hope everything goes well."
Batman took the drink carrier silently. Nodding his thanks before turning and slinking out.
...
Nightwing stared in disbelief as Peter slapped Red Hood's hand away from the top jar again and again. "Get out of my cafe."
"Take my money."
"I don't need it!"
"Neither do I!"
"Hood.. maybe just.. buy something?" Nightwing slowly pointed to the board.
Peter nearly snapped his neck to look at him. "When the hell did you get in here?!" He slapped his hands over his mouth in shock, failing to stop Hood's cackles as he shoved money into the damn jar. He glared at him, "Why are you still here?! Better question, why didn't you tell me he was here!"
Hood mimicked wiping a tear from his eye. "Because your reactions are so funny." His chest continued to shake with chuckles when Peter threw an empty cup at him. "What do you want, Wing?"
"I just wanted another hot chocolate... And maybe one of those blueberry things you gave us last time.."
Hood's laughter was cut off quickly in his outrage. "Wait- You gave him free food?! You upcharge me and Red!"
"He didn't trash my shop the first time I met him!" Peter threw back. Already moving to make Nightwing's drink as he ignored Hood.
"I cleaned it up!"
"I had to replace my counter because of you bleeding everywhere!"
"I paid for it!"
"It's the principle of the matter!" Peter hissed as be shoved the drink towards Nightwing, barely avoiding spilling it. He gently handed over the bag that held his two blueberry bars, "You have a good day. Or night. Whatever. Hood, get fucked."
"I'm giving you more money."
"Fuck off!"
"I miss when you were nice to me.." Hood sighed and swooned back.
"Yea? Too bad. Get out. Find another cafe to bother." He smacked Hood's normal drink and threw his change at him. "Bring me a bat-erang the next time you come to get unbanned."
"I fucking hate your side quests." Hood grumbled as he sipped his drink. "Where the fuck am I supposed to find a bat-erang?"
Peter silently pointed at Nightwing's retreating form. Hood snapped his head to grin at his brother. "Wiiiing!"
"Leave me out of it!"
"Come back!" He scrambled out of the door, his voice growing quiet as he continued to follow him. "Quit running asshole!"