Work Text:
After his shift as Mike that afternoon, Battat had barely taken five minutes to take off his costume before going back to work. It wasn’t even work he had to do for his actual job, it was just theorizing about Mike’s true identity and why he left. That wouldn’t have been too bad if not for the fact that it had been almost six hours since Battat’s shift ended, and Pluey would be back from their shift soon. Jongler sighed. The three of them had planned to have dinner together and celebrate the end of filming the new season of TV Time, but they could tell Battat had gotten into one of his moods again, and wouldn’t be moved until forced.
They sat on the couch, waiting for Pluey to arrive while idly listening to Battat’s ramblings from the other room. He talked to himself a lot, particularly when he thought they weren’t listening. Not just Mike stuff, either. The day after they’d all officially started dating, Jongler overheard Battat pacing around and apparently recontextualizing every interaction he’d had with both of them in the past few months. His entire face was green, and he kept hiding in his hands and screaming quietly. Jongler chuckled quietly at the memory. It was very cute when he got flustered like that, even if it was much rarer these days.
Before they got too caught up in the memory, there was a knock on the door. They could tell it was Pluey because they always knocked with the same pattern every time. It wasn’t a secret code, just Pluey being Pluey. Jongler opened the door for them, and Pluey almost immediately jumped into their arms, barely giving Jongler time to nudge the door shut before they were yanking off their cat head and giving Jongler a big obnoxious kiss.
“Hello ta you too! Did ya miss me or somethin’?”
Pluey responded with another kiss, this one a bit softer. In lieu of having a mouth to kiss back, Jongler squeezed them, not wanting to risk dropping them just to play with their hair.
As the kiss ended, Jongler gently set Pluey down. They glanced around the room briefly, making a questioning noise.
“If you’s lookin’ for Batts, he’s at his conspiracy board again.” Pluey made a dismayed noise, tapping their wrist (where they, notably, were not wearing a watch).
“I know, he’s been at it since ya left. I brought him some snacks, but he literally hissed at me when I asked if he wanted a break, so I left him alone. Dat was about two hours ago.”
“ (◞‸◟) ” Pluey deflated slightly, and Jongler pet their shoulder comfortingly. Both knew the routine for when Battat was like this. Option one: they try to convince him to take a break while he gets increasingly angry, a process that on one horrible occasion lasted two full hours and took way more emotional energy than anyone wanted. Option two: they leave him to his own devices, and he doesn’t eat or sleep beyond small snacks and micronaps until the energy leaves him and he collapses. Obviously neither option was good.
“I know, Plues, I know.” What they really needed was something to distract him with, something else for him to be thinking about. Jongler paused mid-pet. Something to shock him out of his fixation, huh?
Pluey shifted under their hand. “ (•᷄ω•᷅ )? ”
“Hey, I gots an idea. We’s just gotta make him not think about his work, see?” Pluey nodded hesitantly, clearly unsure of where this was going.
“What if we’s just fluster him until he can’t think at all?” Pluey blinked rapidly for a moment, caught off guard. They thought about it, going a bit pink as they slowly nodded. Yeah, they could make that work. If Jongler had a mouth, they’d be beaming.
———
They both walked into the work room, a general plan in mind. They wouldn’t escalate straight to picking him up, that only really worked for this if he was extremely exhausted. No, they’d go for a more… subtle approach to start.
Battat paced back and forth in front of his conspiracy board, fingers tangled in red string, apparently oblivious to their presence. “—stupid, stupid! Mike must have existed before, right? Otherwise why would he and Tenna be so close? So he must have been getting paid, right? Unless it was all under the table, but then why would he ask for Mike to do things on set if it had to be a secret? He has to—“ Battat cut himself off with a yelp as Pluey walked up and grabbed his hand. “Oh, hi Pluey. Any new information?”
Pluey shook their head, tightening their grip when Battat tried to pull away. Battat rolled his eyes, but let it stand. That was a good sign, he probably wouldn’t explode at them before they could put the plan into action.
Jongler walked up next to Battat. They simply said “‘Scuse me, boss,” as they picked up the visible loose end of the red string from where it had somehow started clinging to his shirt collar and started to de-tangle him. And, well, if their hand just so happened to brush against his neck, that was part of the plan.
Battat responded with a noise of protest almost concealing the small shiver at the contact. Ah, Jongler had almost forgotten how sensitive his neck was. This was gonna be fun.
“Hey, what’re you doing? I need that!” Battat clutched at the string in his hands protectively.
“I’m just makin’ sure ya don’t trip over da damn thing, boss. Lemme wind it up, then you’s can go back to your work, alright?”
Battat huffed, but relented, turning back to the board and letting Jongler properly start freeing him. How he got this tangled up was baffling, but that wasn’t the point right now. The point was barely re-spooling the string. The point was distracting Battat with lingering touches, and Jongler was more than happy to provide.
Pluey pressed a light kiss to the back of Battat’s hand. He twitched, but still stared at the conspiracy board, probably internally continuing his monologue from earlier.
Pluey apparently decided that wasn’t enough, rapidly kissing the back of his hand and his fingers. When Battat turned to look, complaint ready on his lips, Pluey pressed a long kiss into his palm, making direct eye contact. Jongler saw a hint of their tongue before Battat turned away, breath hitching. He started blushing high on his cheeks, the color somewhere between lime and spring green. Pluey smirked, pressing a lighter kiss to the inside of his wrist.
Jongler finished untangling the string from around Battat’s body, spooling it quickly and placing it back on the nearby desk. It was worth noting that Battat didn’t immediately reach for it, taking a full three seconds before he even registered it was there. That palm kiss must’ve done a number on him. Cute.
Battat reached for the spool of string (though he was careful not to break Pluey’s grip). Jongler spoke up, “You’s always look so cute like dis, Batts.”
His hand visibly spasmed as he whipped his head around. “Wha— cute?! I am not cute!”
Jongler tilted their head, feigning innocence. “What about pretty? Or handsome? ‘Cause both of dose apply too, ya know.”
Battat (unsuccessfully) covered his face with his free hand. “…Handsome works, if you must,” he said weakly. “Now shoo, I’ve gotta get back to— ack!” Pluey kissed Battat on the mouth, taking advantage of Jongler’s distraction.
Battat’s arms flailed around for a few seconds before he settled into the kiss. Pluey was practically purring into it, and Jongler heroically resisted the urge to start petting them. That could wait for later.
Instead, Jongler started unbuttoning Battat’s jacket, making sure to draw it out not only to give him time to stop them, but to tease him, their hands ghosting over his sides.
Battat made a sound somewhere between a choked noise and a whine as Pluey broke the kiss. He looked dazed, blushing green down to his collar. His jacket was half-unbuttoned, somehow making it more obvious how hard he was breathing.
Jongler’s hands traced around Battat’s waist, and this time Battat couldn’t cover up his shiver. Pluey was leaving little pecks all over Battat’s face while they waited for him to catch his breath, not entertaining his half-hearted attempts to get away. They all knew it was just out of habit, anyways.
“Plues, give ‘im a kiss from me, would ya?” As Pluey grinned at them before diving back in, Jongler gently squeezed Battat’s waist, earning a quiet gasp. “You’s have no idea how much I wish I had a mouth, jus’ so I could kiss you twos proper-like.”
Pluey started kissing him as he opened his mouth to respond, so the only sound that came out was a partially muffled whine. It was a beautiful sound, embarrassed to exist but still tinged with want. Jongler chuckled to themself as they continued unbuttoning his jacket, pleased.
By the time the two broke apart again, Jongler had finished their task. They may have gotten a little impatient with the last buttons, but that was fine. Battat was categorically refusing to make eye contact with either of them, but he wasn’t looking at the board either. Good.
Battat cleared his throat once he got enough breath to speak. “You two’re awfully affectionate today…”
Pluey nodded cheerfully, giving him an overly cutesy kiss on the cheek. Jongler moved behind him, taking off his jacket and tossing it over the desk chair. Battat didn’t even pretend to resist, letting it happen as he stared off to the side, clearly willing his blush to go down as he asked with false bravado, “Any particular reason? Or are you just being saps?”
Pluey shrugged, refusing to give the game away. Jongler kept standing behind him, leaning down to bonk their head against the top of Battat’s in an approximation of a kiss. Battat looked up at them, unconsciously giving them an incredibly sweet smile. Jongler continued “kissing” Battat, though they kept their hands on his shoulders to stop him from turning around to face them. Gradually, Battat seemed to calm down, his blush receding somewhat as he relaxed into the calmer affection.
Apparently Pluey was impatient, because after a few seconds, they took the end of Battat’s tie, gently holding it almost like a leash as they stepped forward into Battat’s space. They were smiling in that sly way they did sometimes, when they’d made a plan for mischief and knew the others hadn’t picked up on it yet.
Battat noticed immediately, instinctively backing away slightly but having nowhere to go but into Jongler. Pluey stayed close, leaning forward not quite far enough to start kissing him again but definitely close enough to tease. Battat’s blush had ratcheted back up, and they were breathing fast.
Pluey grinned, slowly, sensually untying Battat’s tie. Their hands traced over his shoulders and down his chest, making sure to give him an appreciative squeeze before they circled back up to tease at the back of his neck. Battat was frozen in place, barely having the presence of mind to reach back and grab Jongler’s hand for support. Pluey draped Battat’s tie around themself with a wink, and Jongler felt their own face grow warmer at the whole display.
Pluey tugged Battat forward by the shirt collar, humming in question. Battat hesitated for a second before quickly opening the top two buttons, blush darkened to forest green. It was a good color for him, Jongler decided.
Purring, pleased, Pluey leaned forward that extra couple inches and started making out with Battat again. Jongler stepped back slightly and crouched down to be at Battat’s level. They spoke quietly into his ear, but loud enough that both he and Pluey could hear. “You’s so sweet for us, so cute. Lettin’ us show ya how much we love ya.”
It wasn’t anything special, but Battat still shivered, clearly affected. Pluey broke away from his mouth, but didn’t return to the random scattering of kisses across his face. Instead they drew a purposeful line down his jaw, kisses interspersed with licks and even the threat of teeth. Jongler felt half-drunk on the stifled noises Battat let slip, to say nothing of the beautiful picture the two of them made.
Pluey paused just before they reached his neck, taking a half-second to make eye contact with Jongler, just long enough to communicate they were going to do something crazy. They gave no further warning before biting the junction between his neck and shoulder.
Battat made a noise somewhere between a cry of pain and a moan as his head visibly wobbled. Jongler felt Battat lose his balance in real time, catching him and scooping him into a bridal carry before he hit the ground. Jongler noted with amusement that his eyes had six pips rather than their normal one or two.
There were a couple seconds of silence before Pluey reached up and gave Jongler a fist bump. Mission accomplished.
Battat stuttered something approximating words, stopped, got a look of intense concentration, hid his face in his hands, and groaned, “You two planned this from the beginning, didn’t you?”
Pluey giggled as Jongler shrugged. “Well, we’s didn’t plan all of dat, but you’s needed a break!”
Battat made a series of frustrated noises, muffled by his hands, eventually coming up with, “You guys suck.”
Jongler bonked their heads together in a kiss. “Yeah, yeah, we love you’s too. D’ya wanna eat out and be fancy, or eat in and be cozy?”
Battat waved a hand in the air, indicating he didn’t care. Pluey held up two fingers. “I’ll order da food den.”
A bit later, as Pluey was out picking up the food, Battat asked quietly, hesitantly, “Did you really mean it all, earlier? It wasn’t just to trick me into taking a break, right?”
Jongler was shocked, but held it together. “Of course we means it, Batts! We love you, y’know?” They paused for a second, letting it sink in. “If ya wanted us to start ambushin’ ya randomly, ya just had to ask!”
Battat squawked, waving an arm around as he denied ever hinting at such a thing, but when Jongler moved closer, Battat was the one to close the distance in a kiss.