Archive of Our Own

Incident Report

Quirk: Repression

Perpetrator: Osagawara Eiko Age: 7

Victim: Midoriya Izuku, Hero name Deku Age: 25 

“Incident description,” the officer said, monotone and not helping Izuku’s current mood. He was anxious, almost scared and he could’ve dealt with this easier if everything wasn’t so formal.

There he sat, on a Thursday afternoon, in full hero gear, in the middle of his shift, face to face with himself. It wasn’t clear if it was a clone, or actually him from the past, but no matter which, Izuku was sweating under the intense stare of those bright green eyes.

“Um, I was helping a child stuck on Monkey Bars by his quirk. There were a lot of kids around. Everything went smoothly, until I tried to inform dispatch about a successful mission.” Izuku swallowed, trying to keep his eyes on the officer. “Then I felt someone tug my cape. And I saw him.”

Izuku pointed at the younger him, probably under fifteen years old, who was wearing a way too familiar middle school uniform.

“You don’t remember anything in particular before that?” the officer asked.

“Not really. Does it matter? You um, got the perp— kid right? They confessed.”

“We need to ask these questions, Midoriya-san. You know that.”

“Ah, right. Sorry.” Izuku fidgeted with his hands. Even with the cooling on the suit he was getting sweaty. It didn't matter that he had taken the gloves out—the parts now clinging to his thighs—the atmosphere was suffocating and he wanted out.

“It’s fine. I think I’ve written down the basic information. We can’t really question the kid before his parents arrive and it might take a while. We still haven’t been able to contact them and the kid is clearly not… From a well off family,” the officer said.

Izuku’s shoulders drooped. “I’m stuck here then?”

“Well, not necessarily. He did tell us the quirk name and that you should stay close to yourself. Which sounds weird, but Officer Validity confirmed he wasn’t lying.”

“And that means, what?” Izuku asked, even if he could guess the answer.

“Once we’ve asked little Midoriya here some questions you can go home. We’re sending the report to your agency—”

“I don’t work at an agency. So, send it to the Commission. I’m still freelancing,” Izuku interrupted.

“Alright.” The officer wrote things down, her gaze returning to the other side of the table to the younger Izuku.

“Okay. What do you remember happened before you grabbed Midoriya-san’s cape?” the officer asked, tone somehow softer than it had been with Izuku. He wanted to scoff, but all of his attention was set into the conversation.

“I was in class. Then I blinked and suddenly I was in a park,” the boy answered. He fidgeted with the hem of his uniform jacket nervously, eyes darting between Izuku and the officer.

“Alright. And your name, school, age, anything you can tell me about yourself.”

“Midoriya Izuku, fourteen, Aldera Middle School, um, my mom’s name is Inko, I live in Musutafu. Um…” Izuku looked down shyly, “my favorite hero is All Might.”

The officer nodded, asking a few more questions like: what year was it, identification number and exact birth date.

“I still can’t say if this is just a clone, or yourself from the past. I’m sorry. But all the answers match our records, unless you disagree?” The officer turned to Izuku.

“No… Everything sounds correct.”

“Alright then. That’s all I needed.” The officer got up, “I’ll escort you to our waiting room. You’re free to stay here as long as you like or go home. We’ll be calling you when we know more.”

Dumbfounded, Izuku stood up, watching as the little him did the same hurriedly. What was he supposed to do with this kind of situation? Walk to the station and take the train with a miniature version of himself by his side?

“I’m guessing you don’t have anything to, um, hide his hair or…” Izuku tried.

“I don’t think we do. Sorry, Midoriya-san.”

“It’s okay. I’ll… Figure something out.” Izuku walked out with the officer and the little him, who tried to stay by his side, sometimes taking a few faster steps to not fall behind.

Izuku mulled over his options. He could’ve stayed there, but it was getting close to his lunch break. He was getting hungry and his patrols had been put on hold until the quirk cleared. Going home did sound like the best option. 

Izuku asked the younger him to wait a bit, while he moved to the side so as not to gather too much attention. “Save to win,” he gently whispered while pressing his ear piece.

Kacchan’s rough, “win to save” replied to him, and just like every other time before it made his chest tight. 

The suit whirred to life, softly humming. It started to morph around him, the handle of the briefcase forming first into his left hand. All the aluminum, carbon fiber and steel parts unlatched from his body and traveled down, clicking into their new places forming a briefcase.

“Okay. Let’s get going then,” Izuku said, smoothing his shirt a little bit before lifting his gaze to the younger him. The kid was watching, eyes glowing and mouth slightly open. Izuku felt a little bashful, coughing as he quickly marched past the kid.

“Keep up. We’re grabbing you a hoodie from the nearest store and then we’re taking the train straight to my place,” Izuku announced. All he could hear when he stepped out of the station were the echoing steps behind him and a few words whispered in awe.

“I truly am a… hero… wow.”

—

Izuku tried his best to avoid any conversation. He kept the suitcase with him even when he took a shower. Then he made dinner and let the little him roam around — looking at all his merch and collectibles.

Once they sat down for dinner he could no longer avoid it though.

“So, um, you’re a hero? I saw newspaper clippings of some random heroes I’ve never heard of and a lot Kacchan’s. He’s hit rank five? That’s so cool, he’s surely going to be number one soon! Does he still hate us though? I know we always dreamed of opening an agency with him, but—”

Izuku nearly choked on his curry. He really wasn’t up to talk about this stuff today, or probably ever. He doesn’t even want to think about it. Even if he does have the courage to have his friends’ merchandise and success stories on his walls he… Doesn’t want to let any of his thoughts out of his head. It’s too dangerous.

“Izu— um, Midoriya-san?”

Izuku blinked and looked at little him. He had probably been silent too long and he was being eyed expectantly. Maybe he could try to keep the conversation light somehow, answer short and not get too deep into it.

“You can call me Izuku and… Yea, I’m a hero. Kacchan doesn’t hate us, it’s just I’m not really up there to compete with him so…”

“Oh. But you’re a hero without a quirk? That’s so awesome! What rank? It doesn’t really matter though, but I get why Kacchan wouldn’t want someone not good enough for him,” the little Izuku muttered at the end.

Izuku swallowed thickly. That’s the problem though. Kacchan for some reason wanted Izuku to be in his agency with him. He’d likely be okay sidekick material, but not good enough to compete with Kacchan, not really. 

There was still a lump in his throat when he tried to answer. “I’m rank eighty-seven.”

Little Izuku’s face fell a little, but he still smiled. A bit solemnly, but it was there. “For a quirkless hero that’s good. I mean, um, I did want to aim higher than that…”

“It’s just how it is,” Izuku answered, not really hungry anymore. He settled the chopsticks down just in time when there was a loud bang at the door. He wasn’t waiting for anyone today. He did meet Kacchan every other week at his place, but it wasn’t Friday. His mother would’ve called, same with all his other friends.

Still, he got up and walked to the door. He didn’t even get there when the banging started again and Izuku clearly heard all the cursing. Kacchan .

“Fucker, let me in! If you’re dead in there I’ll fucking kill you!”

Izuku rolled his eyes, opening the door without even thinking. Only when he saw Kacchan, he realized this might be a mistake. What would middle school him do when he saw an older, pro hero, Kacchan? Fanboy a shit ton, that’s what. Oh god.

Too bad there was no way to try and close the door at this point, since Kacchan was already barging in. “Heard you got hit by a quirk,” he growled. “Is it bad? You seem fine.” Kacchan grabbed Izuku’s face with his hand, cheeks squishing as he turned his head from side to side. “Something hidden under the shirt?”

When Kacchan was aiming his other hand to the hem of Izuku’s shirt he quickly stepped back. “I— No! I’m totally okay, it’s not like that it’s—”

“Wow. Kacchan’s still a little taller than us.”

Both of their heads snapped behind to look at the little Izuku whose eyes were sparkling even brighter than earlier. At this point Izuku cursed himself for letting Kacchan in and whoever managed to spread the news around. He hadn’t checked the news, or social media for possible leaks and he didn’t want to believe it could be dispatch or his contacts at the Commission itself.

“The fuck…” Kacchan kicked his shoes off and pushed Izuku slightly to the side so he could see better. He walked to the younger Izuku, doing the same thing to his face, grabbing it and observing. The little Izuku flinched slightly, making Kacchan grimace. He let go, taking a half-step back. “What kinda quirk is this then? He even has the shitty uniform on…”

“I don’t know,” Izuku answered, shutting the door. He tried to get between Kacchan and little Izuku, but Kacchan wasn’t budging. “Police are trying to get the information out. All they know is I have to stay close to him.”

“‘s that so? Funny.” Kacchan grunted. “Guess I’ll stay over then. Two of you under the same roof will surely be a catastrophe.”

“What? Kacchan, no! You don’t—”

“Yea yea, but I will. End of story,” Kacchan said with finality, stepping further into the apartment. His gaze locked back to the little Izuku, who was standing in place, touching his own face. “Oi, what the hell is wrong with you?”

“Um, n-nothing!” Little Izuku squeaked and finally moved. His face was a little red as he looked downwards to his toes. “Kacchan’s just so nice now. I mean, sure it wasn't the nicest touch if I compare to my mom, but close.”

For once Kacchan seemed to be out of words to snap back instantly. Izuku didn’t know if it was a good or a bad thing. In his opinion, all of this would be less of a mess without Kacchan here.

“It’s going to be nice with us three here! Like a sleepover! I’ve missed those with Kacchan! And he’s a top five hero now, wow!” Little Izuku exclaimed, grinning happily.

“Fifteen…” Kacchan corrected, sneering. “This fucker is a hero too though, hope you know that.” Kacchan glared at Izuku after those words and his shoulders rose up a little. God. This was going to be hard.

“He told me! Rank eighty-seven and quirkless,” Little Izuku listed.

“Yea. The rank he’s hovered around for nearly seven years now. While he’s not been a hero. Expecting it to rise a lot for the next chart.”

Izuku didn’t want to be here for this conversation. He was still out of his element with all the hero stuff. His current rank had always bothered him, why was he kept there? Why did the commission still let him keep his license when he was quirkless? He’d never gotten any good answer, well, good enough for him. National hero worked for a year or two, but after he actually lost his quirk for good it made no sense to him.

“What? We’ve only recently become a hero? But then, how did we have a rank before?” Little Izuku was clearly getting confused and lost in all the facts.

“Long story. And not something you’ll actually need to hear, you need to live it. In my opinion,” Kacchan added, eyeing Izuku. He could interrupt at any moment, but Izuku kept his mouth shut. He agreed to not tell about all of the gorey stuff and about One for All. Not right now at least, if he didn’t have to.

“Oh, okay. Well I’m happy. If I get to be friends with Kacchan and be a hero then… Yea,” Little Izuku hummed and smiled. “Sounds pretty great. Even if I don’t know everything that happens, it’s nice to know the end won’t be so bad.”

Izuku gulped, his breath a little shaky. He knew he had always been observant, so there was no way little him didn’t have questions about all the articles he had around, about the merch, about both of their scars. Izuku hoped they could keep those details behind locked doors. Maybe this quirk was a regular twenty-four hour deal.

“Right. Things’ll be alright brat,” Kacchan said, ruffling Little Izuku’s hair.

Oh no . He didn’t know how to deal with this at all. Seeing himself looking at Kacchan with such bright eyes and wide smile. While Kacchan looked so… soft.

He didn’t get to think on that further since his phone started ringing. His hands were still shaking when he answered it, lifting the phone to his ear.

“Midoriya. Uh-huh, yea, it’s a good time. No, he’s still here. Okay.” Izuku kept answering with simple words. He felt Kacchan’s and Little Izuku’s gaze on him. He tried his best to walk around so he wouldn’t have to look at them directly. Once he heard details about the quirk he even sat down for a second, but couldn’t stay put.

“What does that even mean? Huh? Okay. Word for word? You’ll be sending an email— uh okay. Yea. So nothing else to do then? Okay. Mm-hmm.” Izuku kept pacing faster, biting his lower lip, his fingernails and thumb. “What do you mean we both die?! Okay okay, stop. I can’t. Just— send the email. Thank you.”

Izuku didn’t say anything when he got off the phone. He needed to lay down right now. Maybe if he slept this would all seem way better and easier. This was the last thing he hoped the quirk would be, well, close to it at least.

“Oi, Izuku!” Izuku’s eyes snapped to Kacchan and he blinked. “So? What was all that about? And don’t you dare worm your way out of this one.”

Izuku sighed, balling his hands tightly. He was way too exhausted after today. Patrol, the quirk accident, then dealing with it… “Would it work if I showed you the email once they send it? It should have everything. I just… Don’t want to talk about it.”

Kacchan scoffed, rolling his eyes. “Shocker. Fine. I’ll take the couch as usual, the brat fits into your bed just fine.”

Izuku wanted to argue, but frankly that was the only good solution. Him and Kacchan on the bed was a no go, so was Little Izuku and Kacchan. “Okay. I’m tired so I’ll go wash up and I’ll bring you your stuff. If my phone pings, feel free to check it.”

He continued to walk straight to his bedroom, picking up a blanket and extra pillow for Kacchan, even though he knew Kacchan for some reason loved to use one of his sofa cushions. He also threw another pillow on the bed, grimacing. He didn’t have any more actual blankets, so he’d have to share with himself. He’d grab the one he used while watching tv, just in case they didn’t both fit comfortably.

After leaving the blanket and pillow in the living room, he tried not to listen to Kacchan and little him talk as he continued to the bathroom.

When he got back Kacchan had Izuku’s phone in hand, eyebrows furrowed deep as he was reading it. The email must’ve come through. “Okay, um, Izuku? I don’t really know what to call you, um, you can go wash up. I left a shirt in there for you and shorts, if those are too big don’t worry. You can sleep however you want.”

Izuku knew himself and boxers with an oversized shirt worked the best. He watched as little him jumped up and nodded. “We talked and I think Deku is fine. It’s still a little mean, but just while I’m here? So it’s… Easier.”

“Oh. I can be Deku too if that’s—”

“No no! I’m okay, really! I heard it’s our hero name, so I, um, I really wanna get used to it.”

Izuku nodded while little him, Deku, went to the bathroom. Izuku had always liked the name Deku, even though he hated it at the same time. It had been a name Kacchan gave him, so it was special. Somehow having someone else use it didn’t feel right, but he’d have to let it go. Not like it was some random person. The kid was him for god’s sake.

“Um, you good?” Izuku asked Kacchan. “I was thinking of going to bed instantly. I’m just… Not up to this right now.”

Kacchan lifted his head enough to look at Izuku. His eyebrows were still furrowed deep and he huffed. “Yea. I think it’s better you rest before we get deep into this shit. Or you do. Gonna be a fucking hoot.”

Izuku didn’t want Kacchan to elaborate. “Right. Um, good night.”

“Night.”

With that, Izuku disappeared into the bedroom, going under the covers. He wasn’t looking forward to waking up at all, but maybe everything about the quirk was wrong and he’d wake up alone. Deku gone, Kacchan on his couch, maybe making breakfast… Yea, that kinda morning he could live with.

Izuku was so tired and lost in his own thoughts he hardly noticed the smaller weight getting into bed with him.

—

For a moment Izuku did think he got what he had hoped for. The other side of the bed was empty when he woke up and there was a faint smell of food in the apartment. But when he ventured outside his bedroom his shoulders sagged. In the kitchen were Kacchan making breakfast and Deku sitting at the table, swinging his legs in the air.

“Kacchan, I didn’t even have eggs in my fridge.”

“Yea. Well, I’m not eating only rice or cereal . That’s not healthy,” Kacchan stated, setting the miso soup to the side before turning the tofu around in the pan.

“I thought you didn’t have my keys with you since you knocked last night,” Izuku said. He sat down, knowing there was nothing he could actually do to stop Kacchan from making such full breakfast for them. And he didn’t actually want him to.

“I have them.”

Simple answer and Izuku didn’t continue the conversation. He did get back up to help a little with drinks and chopsticks. Soon the table was all set with miso soup, rice, a boiled veggie bowl, omelette, and grilled tofu.

“Forgot the seaweed,” Kacchan muttered as he sat down, already grabbing his chopsticks and getting ready to eat. “Thought for sure you had that.”

“This is great Kacchan. Looks good, thanks.” Izuku smiled, digging into his own food. He almost forgot about Deku until he finally spoke.

“Mm, Kacchan is a really good cook! Wow! It melts in my mouth,” he sighed all happily, eyes closed while he chewed whatever was in his mouth. “Kacchan’s amazing.”

“Oi, no talking with your mouth full. Focus on eating,” Kacchan reprimanded, but Izuku saw that he was pleased. His neck was slightly redder than before and it made Izuku’s chest a little tight.

Seeing how well Deku and Kacchan got along made him almost lose his appetite. The whole deal of today’s agenda just crashed over him again like a freezing wave of salty ocean water. He’d have to try and get rid of the quirk. And judging by what the police had said, it required for him to say out loud something he’d been repressing, keeping in. He wasn’t looking forward to it. What could that even be?

“You’re not eating,” Kacchan pointed out. Izuku focused his gaze on him and realized his own plate was almost full when the others were clearly done. He was glad he had at least missed whatever conversation the other two were having.

“Oh, sorry I—”

“If you don’t like it just leave it—”

“No! I like it… My mind is just busy. Sorry,” Izuku mumbled, digging into his breakfast again. It really was good. He wished he would’ve enjoyed it fully, like it was meant to be. His mind distracted him along with Kacchan’s pointed stare. Ah. Izuku was sure Kacchan had way too much to say for the situation and Izuku? He was not looking forward to it.

At some point Kacchan was done with Izuku’s slow eating. With a grumble he got up, grabbed everyone’s plates and brought them to the sink. As the water started running he turned around, glaring at Izuku. “Get the brat some pants. And then get comfortable. We’re doing this now, not later.”

Izuku wanted to protest, but any words died in his throat when Kacchan squinted harder, red, hot gaze burning through him. He nodded, ushering Deku to get up and follow him into the bedroom.

“What is Kacchan talking about?” Deku asked as he waited patiently for Izuku to find him something.

“Well, you. Kinda. I mean, you are here because I got hit with a quirk right?” Deku nodded and so Izuku kept going. “We’re trying to send you back. It would be bad if something happened to you here and—”

“How does it work then? Is it a bother that I’m here?” Deku asked, a little sadly.

Izuku sighed, turning around for a little bit. “It’s not, well, it’s not you. But time travel is always wonky, so we don’t know if you being here long will alter things, even my— our existence. And I’m not supposed to be far from you for more than an hour or two, it gets risky.”

Deku listened, nodding here and there. His brows furrowed and Izuku took a breath before turning back to rummage over his clothes. He realized quickly that none of his longer pants would work. So he figured shorts would do.

“Here. If you get cold, you can use any of the blankets around. There’s a few on the couch,” Izuku instructed. For one thing he was glad about was that he had always been a pretty obedient kid. Doing things when told to. Sure he questioned things, was a little shit about some facts adults spat out, but otherwise. At least he thinks he was good, most of the time.

“Thanks.” Deku started putting on the shorts, fastening the strings so they stayed on. “What is there to do then? So I can be sent back?”

“Oh, right. You wouldn’t know, huh?” Izuku muttered. Guessed he could explain it a little bit at least. So Deku wouldn’t instantly be thrown into the deep end when they exited the bedroom. “Basically, you’re attached to something I’m keeping inside and haven’t said out loud. Emotion, likely. But I have no idea what it could be. And frankly I… I’m a little scared to find out.”

Admitting that didn’t help him at all. Izuku swallowed, feeling a big lump in his throat. He needed to talk with Kacchan. Obviously he would have wanted to do this alone, but he had thought about it last night when sleep didn’t instantly hit him. There was no way he’d figure this thing out on his own. He could talk with younger him all he wanted, but would it really bring forth the thing he needed to stop repressing?

Izuku jolted from his thoughts when a smaller hand touched his wrist gently. “It’s okay to be scared sometimes. Mom always says it’s healthy, good even. As long as you don’t let fear control your life.”

Oh . Inko had said that a lot when he was younger, during high school too. She had always been scared for Izuku, hoping he’d be more afraid too so he wouldn’t be that reckless. She had always been right though. And hearing those words again made Izuku feel slightly better. He was still scared shitless, but he could do this.

“Do it scared?” Izuku said, smiling softly at little him.

“Do it scared.” Deku repeated, nudging his head towards the door. With that, they exited the bedroom, ready to face whatever waited on the other side.

Kacchan was there, arms crossed over his chest, one leg over the other, sitting on the couch, clearly impatient. “The fuck took you so long? It’s a fucking pair of pants.”

“Sorry,” Izuku flashed a quick smile. “Turns out it’s a little hard to fit something huge to a way smaller figure.”

“Tch. Use belts, roll the sleeves. You even got a few of those ugly suspenders, you could’ve fitted those,” Kacchan complained and Izuku laughed a little. Kacchan being himself really helped him relax. Not fully, but enough so that his shoulders weren’t up to his ears.

“Right. Well, uh, I think he’ll manage?” Izuku eyed Deku swiftly and the kid nodded while sitting down next to Kacchan on the couch.

Izuku’s brows furrowed slightly. This meant he had to sit at the sectional which was not ideal at all. It would be harder to avoid eye contact like this but he wasn’t going to ask Deku to move either. It felt wrong to do when he looked so content there next to Kacchan.

“Um, maybe I should go make tea…”

“No. You’ll do just fine for a bit. We can take a break if your dumb head can’t figure this shit out fast,” Kacchan scoffed. He leaned back on the sofa, arms still crossed and one leg over the other. He truly looked menacing like this, not backing down at all. Izuku gulped and obediently sat down, hands balled into fists on his lap.

“You look like you’ve done something bad.” Kacchan rolled his eyes. “Relax at least. Then spill it.”

Izuku nodded, taking a few deep, calculated breaths to relax his posture. “I don’t know what to spill. We both read the email. I have no clue what emotions I’m ‘repressing’ . It makes no sense. I’ve come to terms with things years ago.”

“Bullshit. I texted your nerd squad and none of them said you’ve poured out your feelings to them. They mentioned a few things you’ve whined about, but those clearly don’t fucking cut it,” Kacchan growled.

“When did you have time to do that?! Kacchan! That’s— ugh!” Izuku was instantly frustrated by this whole thing. “Want me to say things to your face then, is that it?”

“Yea. That would be fucking ideal right now shithead.”

Izuku grit his teeth. Anger was a feeling at least, he didn’t think that was what he was keeping in, but that’s apparently the one Kacchan could wring out of him easily.

“Let’s talk then,” Izuku exhaled. “These past two months have made me so confused . I learned to live my life not being a hero then suddenly everything was flipped. I don’t know what to do. I know you want me to be a hero again, but I can’t. It’s too much pressure, I was fine. I had a good thing going. Being a teacher, seeing my friends… Then you and All Might handed me the suit and I was so happy. Of course I was. Being a hero had always been my dream, it still is, but I’m not allowed to—”

“What’s the problem then,” Kacchan interrupted.

Izuku shut his mouth, trying his best not to open it up instantly. It was hard to slow down the word vomit now that he had started spilling them.

“If it actually still is your dream then fucking be a hero. Stop the other bullshit. Just do what you fucking want for once for fuck’s sake.”

“It’s not that easy Kacchan,” Izuku hissed. “You don’t know how it feels to gain everything and then in a few years lose it all. Then you learn to live with the fact that you’ll never have everything again and then suddenly after years it gets blasted into your face. I just can’t instantly forget everything I spent years teaching myself. Even if you knew all that time that I would get the suit, get the chance…” Izuku took a deep, shaky breath, willing the tears not to spill.” I didn’t.”

For once Kacchan seemed silent. At least for a bit. Izuku could almost see the gears turning in his head. His gaze lowered down to Deku, who was still sitting on his couch. Eyes large like plates, clearly absorbing the whole conversation. Maybe all of this wasn’t a good thing for younger him to hear. It could change his whole future.

“Shit,” Kacchan growled, his hand flying to his hair, elbow hitting his thigh. “I didn’t really think of that.”

“Clearly,” Izuku rolled his eyes, it was his time to cross his arms across his chest. “I’ve not been ready to talk about things when I can’t even make sense of everything in my own head yet.”

“Sure, I— fuck, if I’ve pressured you, Izuku, I’m,” Kacchan grit his teeth, looking away for a bit. “Sorry.”

That was not what he had expected, not at all. “I… That’s okay, Kacchan.”

“It’s not.” Kacchan lifted his gaze back, red eyes piercing through and Izuku had to swallow. “Take your time. I should’ve realized. I was so caught up in my own shit I forgot to think about things that actually matter.” Kacchan cursed a few more times and Izuku felt a little lighter. At least his current predicament about his future was out in the open now.

“Really it’s okay. I understand,” Izuku hummed.

“Just… If you would’ve told me I wouldn’t have—”

“Kacchan. I told you it’s fine. We’re both at fault,” Izuku continued. Kacchan looked like he wanted to say more, but stayed silent. Seemed like they both at least agreed on the fact that they had both messed up.

It was silent for a few minutes and until Deku spoke Izuku had almost forgotten he was still there.

“We know All Might?”

Izuku’s eyes snapped to Deku and he almost smiled. “Yes. You should meet him pretty soon in fact.” It was all Izuku dared to admit out loud. Even though he was sure they’d said way too much anyway for things not to change in his past at this rate.

“Wow! That’s crazy…” Deku pinched his lower lip, muttering on for a little while. Then he eyed both of the grown ups and furrowed his brows. “Why can’t you be a hero anymore? Was it, um, not allowed to want it or… Um. What did you say again…”

Shit.

Izuku hated how observant he had always been when he was younger. Only after the war had he started to lose that talent. His head was way too fuzzy and focused on himself, too busy to take in everything that happened outside his own bubble.

“Ah, it’s just like I said, the pressure? And I was out of the scene almost instantly after high school ended. It’s hard after so many years. Everything is going smoothly even without me, I’m not in shape and I have other dreams and—”

“You’re rambling,” Deku interrupted. It made Izuku blink and shut up for a while. He had been saying too much already.

“I never cared about being quirkless or if there would be pressure. I thought that it was always the end goal, no matter what. To be a hero,” Deku’s eyes moved to Kacchan and back to him. “With Kacchan.”

“Life is a little disappointing. You can’t just be a hero without a quirk. It’s not that easy.”

“Why not?” Deku huffed. “You are one now, right? Or at least somewhat and you can be. I just don’t understand it.”

Izuku groaned. Kacchan had gotten it, why couldn’t this miniature him get it as well? Obviously he was missing a lot of information.

“It’s complicated. You’ll get it when you’re older,” Izuku answered.

Deku pouted, crossing his legs on the sofa and looking down in thought. 

“Izuku.” Kacchan looked at him, an unreadable expression on his face. “Is there something else? If you’ve been stuck with these thoughts for months. You’ve also avoided patrolling with anyone. You know that’s not how this shit works. Maybe if you patrolled with me, you’d be more sure what you want? See if the future you used to want is still the one you’re after?”

Izuku swallowed, feeling a lump getting stuck in his throat. Kacchan’s offer was tempting, of course it was. But Izuku had avoided patrolling with anyone for a reason. He had only answered some easy calls with other heroes, evading all the ones that dispatch deemed as villain attacks. He’d just be in the way, making things worse. Everytime those calls came in his brain shut off, cold sweat gathering into his skin, fear slowly taking hold of his body.

“I… I’m not ready,” Izuku croaked.

“What do you mean? We see each other weekly, I’m in your lectures at least once every month. You’re ready for a simple patrol with me,” Kacchan huffed, a little annoyance lacing his voice.

“It’s not the same. It’s statistically way smaller probability to encounter villains in either of our apartments or at UA. It’s even smaller at the Izakaya we go to, or the noodle place. Even though I still prefer ordering home, you know, then it’s even lower, safer. Sometimes I do think that what if the delivery guy is—”

“Izuku!” Kacchan growled, his hand slamming on the table. The simple motion made Izuku jump on his seat, eyes wide open and wild. “That’s the job. Protecting the civilians, of course there’s the highest chance of an encounter. Hell, even when there are very few villains right now you should run into one weekly at least. Shit luck in shifts if not.”

“That’s the problem,” Izuku shook his head. “It’s not good if I’m there. People will get hurt. People will… die. Because of me. Kacchan will…”

Izuku choked, eyes staying fully open yet he wasn’t seeing anything in front of him. Nothing but horrible images of his friends — bloodied, dismembered, dead . It was getting hard to breathe, the lump in his throat making it impossible to swallow. His head felt like it was going to explode and when he quickly swiped his forehead with shaky hands his palm was left soaked with sweat.

“Izuku.”

Izuku jolted, not realizing that Kacchan was sitting right next to him. Thigh against thigh, scarred right hand covering what it could of Izuku’s even more fucked up left hand.

“Breathe. Nice and slow.” Kacchan spoke with a low voice, taking a few slow breaths to guide Izuku to start. It helped with the tremors, but Izuku was still sweating, his mouth dry and he was panicking.

“What’s wrong with him?” Deku asked, not daring to move.

Kacchan didn’t answer him, instead he just kept looking at Izuku, squeezing his hand lightly. “When’s the last time you went to therapy?”

“When it was mandatory in 2nd grade,” Izuku answered, voice rough, raw. He had never wanted to continue going. The few times he had to were too much, required too much. Izuku smiled through them, answering short and shallowly. That way nothing could hurt.

“God. It clearly wasn’t enough,” Kacchan snarled. He took another deep breath, calming himself before muttering, “idiot.”

“It was. I’m fine, Kacchan.”

“Clearly you’re fucking not. I didn’t even… Shit. You’re stuck on that battlefield. How did I…” Kacchan cursed. “Fucking feel like this damn quirk hit me instead of you what the fuck is this. I’m the shittiest friend ever. I fucking knew you didn’t talk about all the things with me, but I thought you had with a therapist, or your other fucking friends.”

“What? Kacchan’s a good friend,” Izuku mumbled. “It’s not your fault. And I’m not stuck, I’m good, all is fine—”

“Stop fucking saying that when you’re clearly not,” Kacchan interrupted. “It’s already out there. I’ve heard enough to read between the lines. You don’t want to patrol with me because you blame yourself for my death.”

Both Izuku’s gasped, Deku being the first to get something out of his mouth.

“Death? What? I don’t understand.”

“You’ll… Shit. It’s nothing you should worry about,” Kacchan grit his teeth, turning back to Izuku. “I know I’m right. Don’t even try to deny it.”

Izuku was silent, his head was spinning. Kacchan was right. Izuku just hadn’t wanted to think about the real reason why he was so scared. Everytime his mind tried to go too deep he shut it all down, forcing his mind to go somewhere else entirely. Lock everything down. It had always been the best way to keep smiling, to keep going.

“Good,” Kacchan grunted after too long of a silence. “If you want to talk about it I’m here. I know that everyone else will be too. You just… God, Izuku, you have to talk to somebody. You can’t keep holding it in. Please. I can’t.” Kacchan’s voice broke and when Izuku dared to lift his gaze he saw Kacchan violently swiping his eyes to his palms. Was he crying? Why?

“You have to chase your dreams. Promise me. This is the first step. The suit will wait for you, hell, I’ll wait, fuck, no matter how long you need. Just—” Kacchan took a shaky breath. “I’m sorry I missed it. I was too busy with my own healing, then perfecting my quirk again with a changed body… Your suit…”

Izuku sniffled, the lump in his throat finally giving way to something else. Tears gathered into his eyes, stinging, making his vision all blurry. “Don’t blame yourself Kacchan,” Izuku bawled. “How could you have known when I didn’t even know myself? ”

“I don’t know… I fucking should’ve. Somehow.” Kacchan answered, frustration clear in his tone.

“There was no way to know. I’ll… I promise to talk to someone. I don’t think I can burden you with this. I don’t want you to live through it again. I’ll,” Izuku took a shaky breath, “talk to a professional. After we deal with this quirk first.”

Kacchan nodded faintly, squeezing Izuku’s hand softly. They were both clearly a little shaken up and not ready to continue the conversation yet. Everything was laid out in the open, raw, after years of keeping things in. How stupid of him to keep Kacchan out of what had been going on in his head. If there ever was a person who would’ve pushed him forward it would’ve been Kacchan.

Bold, brash, amazing Kacchan. The one who had encouraged him all the way to becoming a teacher while not knowing what was going on in Izuku’s head.

After a long silence both of them were finally calmer, breathing even. Izuku swallowed, straightening his posture. He looked at Deku, who had kept silent, mouth a straight line, hugging his own legs to his chest at the end of the couch.

“So that wasn’t it, huh?” Kacchan noted softly.

“Apparently not,” Izuku said, sniffling and wiping his eyes one last time. Deku looked scared and confused, likely for a good reason. Izuku couldn’t even imagine how this all sounded to him.

“So what the hell else is wrong with you other than this? This is fucking huge,” Kacchan griped. “It’s you in middle school. What the shit was wrong with you in middle school?”

Izuku could see Kacchan’s eyes still being puffy and red. Him being back to his own self now with the snark probably meant he was trying to contain his emotions. Izuku understood that. He was still overwhelmed himself.

“No clue,” Izuku answered. “Maybe we’ll um, try talking to him? I’ll make some tea though. I think I need a break.”

Izuku thought they could all use a break. Also he maybe had a wish that Kacchan could coax out whatever it was that he was keeping in from his younger self. That way he could figure it out on the side, not let his emotions go all out, burst.

Exhaustion kept him from listening to any conversation in the living room. When he returned with three cups of tea on a small tray he was surprised to see them sitting close, looking at Kacchan’s phone.

“So, um,” Izuku started, setting the tray down on the coffee table. “What’s up?”

“Ordering food,” Kacchan answered. “Figured we all could use a break. Maybe watch something, you know, mental reset.”

Izuku snorted, trying to hide his smile into his hands.

“What?” Kacchan glared at him.

“Nothing. Good idea, I’m beat.” Izuku sat down, taking the remote into his hands. “We could watch the old All Might documentary. So it’s nothing that um, breaks anything?” Izuku eyed Deku.

Both just nodded to him, too busy scrolling the menu apparently. Izuku rolled his eyes, going over to his saved programs and picking a safe documentary that had definitely been out when he had been in middle school.

—

After dinner and the documentary finished, Izuku didn’t feel as tired anymore. He had dozed off a few times, but at this point he had needed a little shut eye. When Deku disappeared to the bathroom Izuku sighed hard, resting the back of his head on the couch. His hands rose to his eyes, blocking out all the light.

“Hope you realize we still have to talk,” Kacchan said.

Izuku groaned, rubbing the balls of his hands harder into his eyes. “I know, Kacchan. I just don’t know what else there is? We pretty much went through the basis of what I’ve kept locked in since the War. Almost ten years… How can there be something else?” Izuku let out another frustrated noise.

“Don’t ask me. I’ve never been good at getting a read on people. Especially not you,” Kacchan pouted.

Izuku had to take a peek then. Kacchan had yet again crossed his arms and he was looking away, pouting. Somehow Izuku found it adorable. At the same time his chest felt tighter. He had been such a horrible friend by making Kacchan feel like he was a bad friend. When it had always been Izuku, distancing himself far enough to not let his emotions spill. Soon enough it had become easy to live in that new normal, keeping everything and everyone at arm's length. 

How could he have been so horrible? And to Kacchan no less.

“I’m sorry Kacchan,” Izuku mumbled, hiding his eyes again. “I’ll be more honest from now on. I really…” Izuku let out a shaky breath, “I really do wanna be hero partners one day.”

Neither of them said anything more for several minutes; Izuku nearly had a heart attack upon taking a quick look at Kacchan’s soft smile. Maybe getting hit with this quirk was a blessing after all, even if he had a lot ahead of him. Lots of therapy, talking and going through things. It definitely scared him, but he had Kacchan.

“Will you wait for me Kacchan?”

Izuku didn’t realize he’d said it out loud until Kacchan’s eyes widened slightly, his smile changing into a slightly open mouthed shock. He almost panicked, wanting to say he didn’t really mean it, didn’t want Kacchan to wait any longer he already had, didn’t expect him to, but as his mouth opened, Kacchan turned to him. His smile as soft as ever, corners of his eyes crinkling slightly, blazing gaze looking straight at Izuku.

“I already said I would. For the rest of our lives.”

Izuku didn’t remember a time he had gotten this flustered. His face was fully red, his mouth gaping like he was a fish stuck on land. 

He couldn’t do anything else but laugh awkwardly as he shot up from the couch abruptly.

“Y-you don’t have to wait that long. Um, ahaha, speaking of long, Deku sure has been gone for a while. I-I’ll go look for him.” As quickly as he had said that, he bolted towards the bathroom.

Thankfully the bathroom was empty. He did want to go look for Deku, but first he stepped in, turned on the faucet and splashed cold water into his face. Oh god. Kacchan’s face, his words… Izuku groaned, watching himself in the mirror. Why was he so damn flustered? It’s not like it was the first time Kacchan used those words or the first time Izuku caught that soft smile.

The difference was that this time Izuku had allowed himself to really look. Kacchan was gorgeous. And even despite all of Izuku’s bullshit he was still there with him.

Izuku grasped his shirt with a wet hand, pushing into his chest, willing his roaring heartbeat to calm down. This wasn’t the time to get lost in his thoughts. He had to go find Deku. Then possibly talk some more and hopefully find out how to get him sent back into his time.

He took a deep breath, taking one last look in the mirror. He looked like a mess, but way less red in the face. Deeming it good enough, Izuku exited the bathroom, gearing up to talk with Deku.

For a second Izuku thought that maybe the talk had been enough and Deku had actually disappeared, quirk resolved and gone. He found the little green mop hunched over on the edge of his bed. Izuku could instantly recognize the familiar pose, not even needing to see the notebook that surely was resting on the little boy's lap.

“I do have a desk in the corner. It’s way more comfortable, I’ve learned,” Izuku smiled, speaking softly. “Can I sit down or do you want to be alone?”

“You can sit,” Deku said, scribbling something down at the same time. 

Izuku sat down, trying not to peek over Deku’s shoulder even if he was curious. He wondered which notebook he had picked to write on and what. There was probably a lot to take in and Izuku knew that the best way to make sense of his thoughts was to write it all down. Maybe that was one thing he was missing. He hadn’t picked up a notebook in years, too afraid of what he’d uncover. Seeing Deku writing things down with haste, tongue peeking out of his mouth made Izuku miss it all. He could start small. Writing about heroes had always been his thing. He wondered if his old hero analysis blog still existed.

“Are you okay?” Deku finally asked, getting Izuku out of his thoughts.

“Yea. Well, as close to okay as I can right now. I think I…” Izuku took a deep breath, soft, yet a little wary smile on his lips. “Will be fine going forward. So, yea, better than I was before this whole… thing.” Izuku gestured around Deku vaguely.

“That’s good,” Deku said. There was a pause in his words and Izuku could imagine the gears turning in the boy's brain. Soon, Deku looked up to him. “Do you think I get to keep my notes when I go? I really… Want to learn from this.”

Somehow the words made Izuku choke up. Deku probably thought Izuku had made so many mistakes, ones he didn’t want to make himself. The sad thing was that Deku was absolutely right. Izuku had wasted years of his life. Being scared, avoiding things, barely existing.

“I don’t know. But I hope you do,” Izuku answered, voice as steady as he could make it. He was done crying for the day. “Yet I hope nothing changes. Even if I made mistakes I…” he swallowed. “I don’t want to just take them back. I would rather fix things and look towards the future.”

It was quiet for a while. Izuku was still afraid to let himself be vulnerable, fully open and honest. He knew he had to be, it would be the only way to have an actual future he’d be happy in. The life he had now, it was nice, comfortable, yet lacking in so many ways. He wasn’t satisfied. Keeping things to himself, not doing anything that made his heart race. Things were just… Stale. He loved his job. He wanted to keep teaching History but he wanted so much more than that. Work a steady job, come home to eat alone, sleep and repeat wasn't it. This future was just something he conjured up after knowing he’d lose One for All for good.

How did he let go of all his dreams then?

“I like the sound of that,” Deku said, clutching the now closed notebook in his arms. “Even if it takes ten years… As long as I get to be close to Kacchan it’s enough.”

Izuku smiled, hand disappearing to the soft green floof of Deku’s hair. “You’ll be close no matter what. And for that you don’t have to wait for too long now.”

Deku grinned, jumping up from the bed. “Perfect. Can we watch another documentary?”

Izuku snorted, getting up and flexing his hands. It was getting kinda late, but they could watch something before bed for sure. Some more relaxing and then sleep sounded like heaven right now. He wondered if Kacchan wanted to stay. Likely since they still had to talk, to find out how to send Deku back.

Deku ran to the living room first, Izuku hesitating a bit behind. He had left so abruptly earlier that it felt a little awkward to face Kacchan after. They wouldn’t be alone so maybe it would be okay. He hoped Deku could convince Kacchan to watch tv so they could skip talking for today. As much as he wanted to get the quirk cleared so he could return to work, he was exhausted for today.

Kacchan had work tomorrow, Izuku knew that. For that he should probably suck it up and have the talk today. He couldn’t keep Kacchan here any longer. His own weekend patrol’s also hung on this quirk. The commission had ordered him to inform them when the quirk had cleared and for the time being he was to stay home.

Izuku walked out of the bedroom and towards the living room. Deku was already sitting down, his legs folded under himself, hugging a couch pillow into his chest. Izuku’s eyes drifted to the tv, seeing Kacchan point the remote towards it. He was going through the list of saved programs.

Slowly he walked to the couch, tentatively sitting down, scared that any sudden movements would change the course this evening was going towards.

“I still wanna talk,” Kacchan groused. “I took the weekend off. So we can do that tomorrow.”

Kacchan’s eyes finally moved to Izuku then, “so make sure to rack up your brain shithead. Better figure out what you’re not saying by Sunday evening or I’m cancelling next week's lecture appearance.”

Izuku blinked a little stunned, yet oh so grateful. Kacchan had taken two days off. Weekend. Longer shifts that paid the most. His mind raced to retort, to tell Kacchan to go to work but that wouldn't be honest, not what he had promised. So he nodded, relaxing more into the couch, letting it swallow him. “Okay. Thanks, Kacchan.”

Kacchan only scoffed in answer, putting on a movie about the Golden Age. Deku’s eyes lit up, his mouth wide open. “This doesn’t come out until next month! Wow! Increase the volume!”

Kacchan rolled his eyes and Izuku laughed.

—

Another morning that started pretty much the same as the previous. After breakfast, Kacchan left to fetch himself clothes and apparently go to the store to fill Izuku’s fridge since when he came back it was with two huge bags of groceries.

“You didn’t need to do all that, Kacchan,” Izuku said as he followed the man to the kitchen.

Kacchan started instantly putting things away, not even listening to Izuku. He did, however, stop midway while putting things up to the cupboard.

“Why did I hurry back when you two shitheads only did the dishes. You had time to shower. What the fuck were you doing?” Kacchan growled, continuing to put things away. With the same breath he cursed about needing to line up for a shower now, which made Izuku cock his head slightly.

“Oh. I usually just skip it when I stay home alone. I should’ve realized… Deku did shower though, so it’s fine. You can go first, I don’t mind waiting,” Izuku said, trying his best to make things easier for Kacchan. He was there helping Izuku after all. It was his fault getting caught up in talking about All Might of all things with his past self when Kacchan was gone.

“Fine. Guess I can trust you’ll get this one simple task done at least.” With that Kacchan scooted past him, shoulders lightly touching, making an electric current run through Izuku’s whole body. It hadn’t been the old, mean shove, but a gentle brush. Izuku shook his head, diving into the grocery bags to put things into their places. It was definitely too early in the day to start unpacking whatever that was and why his heart was skipping faster than it had a minute ago.

Izuku had ventured back to the couch, waiting for his turn to get to the shower. His mouth opened a few times to ask something from Deku, but he didn’t know what to ask. Last night he had again tried his best to come up with a solution to getting rid of the quirk. Like Kacchan had asked yesterday, Izuku pondered the same question: What was wrong with him in middle school?

Frankly Izuku didn’t have a clue. He didn’t have anything going on that didn’t correlate into things he hadn’t already talked about. Being a hero with Kacchan had always been the biggest thing in his life. So at least he thought. It had driven his life forward for so many years it was really insane to think he had actually given that up. Following Kacchan, even if he was quirkless and even if Kacchan was mean to him were always his end goal. Why did it all change?

He fundamentally knew why. He failed to save. Kacchan, Tenko… Many others died during the war. But that hadn’t been a problem in middle school. He’d worked through those emotions, in fact he had already sent an email about therapy to Hawks. He knew the man would help.

It just didn’t help in this case, not with the quirk. So what was it?

“Deku,” Izuku started, waiting for the kid to look up at him. “Do you, um, have any secrets? Things you haven’t said to anyone before? I know I’m you and I should know but I just… I’m not getting it. I’m sure Kacchan has asked this of you already. He hasn’t said anything… So.”

“Oh,” Deku blushed instantly and started to play with the strings on his shorts.

Izuku raised an eyebrow, waiting for an answer. Deku was fidgeting, face red and eyes focused on his fingers. Clearly he knew something. Why wasn’t he saying it?

“Deku,” Izuku said firmly after a few minutes of silence. “Did you tell Kacchan?”

“N-no!” Deku yelped, shaking his head violently while his eyes finally caught Izuku’s. “I couldn’t. I shouldn’t. Kacchan can never know.”

This made Izuku even more curious, almost desperate to know what it was. Whatever Deku was keeping to himself must be big. Izuku does feel for Deku, maybe he doesn’t want to leave, but Izuku does. Well, he doesn’t hate this, whatever these days have been, but he wants to move forward. Right now everything seems to stand still, his head out of the mist, just waiting for the day he can start building his life again. With Deku here, he can’t.

“You can tell me, right?” Izuku tried, cocking his head slightly. “I mean it’s something I already know. I just don’t remember.”

“Right…” Deku furrowed his brows, chewing his lip in thought. “I guess, if it helps.”

“It might. Don’t worry, I won’t tell Kacchan,” Izuku assured. “Though um, I might but as my own thought you know? If it helps with the quirk, I uh,” Izuku laughed awkwardly. It had to be something embarrassing if he didn’t want Kacchan to know. “I promise if it’s something you don’t want to deal with you can, um, stay in another room or, you know. If it comes to that, I mean,” Izuku grimaced.

“O-okay.” Deku said, taking a deep breath. He managed to tie the strings, yet he didn’t raise his gaze back up. Too focused on pulling on them while his shoulders raised slightly and the red on his face seemed to deepen even more. Izuku waited with a baited breath, mouth getting dry in anticipation.

“I want to touch Kacchan.”

Deku’s voice was low, barely audible. Yet it resonated in Izuku’s ears like it was coming from a loudspeaker. His mouth opened slightly, ready to say something but he was interrupted by a soft tap of feet.

“Oi nerd, your turn.”

Kacchan’s voice made both of the greenheads jump in place simultaneously. Izuku was quick on his feet, scrambling to get up and nearly tripping over the coffee table in the process. He thinks he squeaked an ‘okay ’ somewhere while avoiding Kacchan’s gaze as he walked past him. His face felt hot, melting, his hands clammy and steps uncoordinated.

The bathroom door slammed shut and his back hit the wood. His chest was heaving fast as his hands flew to his face. 

Oh god. He was mortified about what Deku had just said. And then Kacchan walked in still half-naked in a fresh pair of sweatpants, having his upper body on display, drying his hair like it was nothing.

Izuku groaned, not letting his hands fall from his face. What even was that? Touching Kacchan? Had he wanted that in middle school? Apparently, or this truly was some weird, perverted copy. Who would want to touch their childhood friend? Or was it just something innocent like holding hands? It could be.

Izuku took a deep breath, settling his mind into that conclusion. Young him would have definitely blushed a little when thinking about holding hands with Kacchan. Mainly since Kacchan would never let Izuku touch him, not even a little bit. The small touches he got were more from Kacchan and never actually nice. They had barely brushed skin after the war too, so maybe that was what he needed to say then.

He took his clothes off and started showering, mind going around in circles with the topic. He had never said it out loud after all. Obviously he would’ve loved to hug Kacchan at least, touch his hand lightly when they were walking side by side, maybe swipe a strand of hair to the side when it was obscuring Kacchan’s beautiful eyes… Yes, totally normal stuff.

It was worth a try to bring up with Kacchan. If it was something that simple to get rid of this quirk he felt like a fool. To be fair, he had never even imagined saying such a thing out loud. Even thinking about it while he dried himself with a towel made him blush slightly. Yea, Deku had to have been innocent in his thoughts. Simply wanting to have those friendly touches with Kacchan. Made sense. He wanted them too, had always wanted, now that he let himself think about it.

In his hurry, Izuku had forgotten to grab clean clothes so with a sigh he tied the towel around his waist. He snatched a smaller towel for his hair and left the bathroom so he could go get clothes. Absentmindedly he dried his hair with one hand, running a mantra in his head. ‘Hey Kacchan, I’ve always wanted to hold your hand’, ‘Hey Kacchan, I want to touch you’. Trying to find the best way to go about it.

His thoughts halted instantly when he took a quick glance into the living room before turning into his bedroom. Izuku’s eyes flew wide open, towel falling from his hand into the floor, hair still way too wet, but he froze.

He didn’t miss the way Kacchan’s neck was fully red, not the way Deku’s eyes shone way too bright and green and in awe as both of his hands were on Kacchan’s chest, holding those firm pecs.

He swore he could hear Deku’s rambling about the firmness under his breath before he asked a question, eyes barely moving from Kacchan’s chest to his face. “Can I—” he swallowed, “elsewhere?”

To his horror Kacchan replied with a scoff and a hushed, “whatever.”

Izuku was in shock, his feet leading him towards the couch even if he didn’t plan on it. “Kacchan? What are you… Why are you… Why is he—”

Kacchan didn’t turn to look at him, nor did Deku, whose hands now traveled lower, fingers tracing every curve of Kacchan’s defined abs. “I heard you and since he was asking, well. That’s it.”

“But why would you—” Izuku whined desperately, his eyes locked into Deku’s hands. Those should be his hands damnit!

Wait.

But he had just wanted simple touches, like holding hands, right?

Izuku swallowed, holding back the urge to push Deku away. Seeing someone else touch Kacchan made him furious, yet it wasn’t his place to stop this. Kacchan was okay with it. No matter how much it made Izuku’s gut twist and heart squeeze in his chest uncomfortably.

“Deku,” Izuku said, voice laced with venom even if he tried his best to hold it in. Be nice. “I thought you just… Wanted hugs, maybe hold hands, um, friend things that we never get with Kacchan.” Uncertainty creeped in fast, all of his thoughts going back to his first assumptions. Was he really thinking such things in middle school? Touching Kacchan’s tits—

His thoughts halted once again when the goddamn menace moved one of his hands back up and twisted Kacchan’s nipple, making him gasp under his breath. Kacchan sounded near sinful and it made his cock twitch under the towel.

“I want that too,” Deku murmured, mesmerized fully by Kacchan’s reaction. “Want everything Kacchan.”

“He’s not your Kacchan though,” Izuku growled. Deku’s words were the last straw, Izuku taking the last steps, grabbing Deku’s hands and throwing him to the other end of the couch. “You shouldn’t touch what belongs to someone else.”

With a quick inhale Izuku turned around, eyes locking to Kacchan’s fiery red ones. He was totally flushed over, nipples hard, hair damp from the shower, mouth slightly open. God Kacchan was beautiful.

“I don’t belong to anyone, Izuku. Least to you. He at least fucking had the balls to ask,” Kacchan snarled.

“Don’t say that,” Izuku whispered. “Has anyone else asked? Has someone else touched Kacchan? It should only be—” me.

Izuku froze. Since when has he had these types of thoughts? Well, since forever, but whenever those rose up he pushed them down, stopped whatever he was doing and didn’t let them surface. Like Kacchan said he didn’t belong to Izuku. Then why did that feel like a sharp blade had been thrust through his heart?

“What does it matter?”

“Of course it matters! Kacchan is…” mine.

God, he was selfish and a coward. Not saying anything out loud, not daring to push out what mattered. Did it really? Not like Kacchan would ever want to be around him again if he knew.

“If you aren’t going to even ask then let me back in,” Deku said behind him.

Izuku turned to look, eyes narrowing, it was close he didn’t start hissing out loud. “I can’t just ask that of Kacchan.”

“Why not? I did. If you aren’t doing anything then it should definitely be me making Kacchan feel good.”

Feeling good? What did that… Oh. Izuku’s eyes fell down to the way too obvious erection Deku was sporting in his shorts. Nope, definitely not letting him anywhere near Kacchan again.

“No! Kacchan’s mine,” Izuku finally snarled. Grabbing Kacchan’s wrist as he got up, yanking him. But Kacchan didn’t budge more than slightly from the force.

“Yours, huh,” Kacchan mused. Izuku didn’t know if it was confidence or embarrassment since the man was still red and this time Izuku didn’t know what to make of Kacchan’s voice. Too quickly had Kacchan managed to free his hand. “Don’t touch me.”

“But Kacchan,” Izuku started to sound desperate. Even more so when Deku looked way too smug and eager on his spot. Clearly waiting for permission to continue whatever they were doing before. Izuku swallowed, balling his hands into fists, short fingernails trying their hardest to dig into his skin.

You can do this, Izuku. Just ask. You know you want to. Imagine if Deku of all people gets to do things you haven’t, the things you want.

And he wanted it, didn’t he? Oh, so much it hurt. So much he had to often stop his thoughts, go for a jog, force his thoughts away, lock everything deep. Thoughts he wasn’t supposed to have about his childhood friend.

But the quirk demanded something he was repressing right? He had to try. That’s all it was.

Here goes nothing.

“Kacchan. C-can I touch you?”

There it was. Out in the open. Simple question. He could’ve said so much more, asked more, but this was what he needed to say right now. Everything else could come later. His fingers itched for touch right now, needed space between Kacchan and Deku, needed to be alone with Kacchan and touch .

“Was that so hard?” Even when Kacchan grumbled, Izuku saw the way his eyes flickered downwards as he took a breath, a little shaky, Izuku wanted to think it was nervousness. His heart was hammering in his chest in anticipation. If Kacchan denied him now he’d accept it. After all that’s what he always imagined in his head. Yet Kacchan managed to surprise him, eyes locking into his, voice soft when he continued. “You can.”

Izuku grabbed Kacchan’s wrist again, pulling the man with him towards the bedroom. He didn’t care what Deku would do, as long as he wasn’t the one touching Kacchan before him.

Once inside, Izuku didn’t stall, turning to Kacchan and placing his hands on the man’s hips. Fingertips moving slightly, dipping under the waistband of his sweats. He leaned in, breath ghosting Kacchan’s lips, hesitating. Did kissing count as touching? Was he allowed? His lips barely crazed Kacchan’s before he moved away slightly.

“Kacchan.” His fingers dug deeper into skin. “Can I kiss you?”

“Yes, dumbass.” Kacchan sounded breathless, his growl packing no real heat in it. Izuku wanted to melt on the spot. He didn’t wait any longer, lips pressing against Kacchan’s softly, savoring the feeling, letting them both get used to just this. Soft pressure, lips against lips, noses sliding against each other as Izuku tilted his head slightly.

Perfect. Kacchan was perfect.

Izuku pulled away for a second, catching his breath and looking for any discomfort in Kacchan's expression. He didn’t find any, he only saw fire, neediness and want in those half-lidded eyes. He couldn’t keep himself from those pink, plush lips for longer. He dove back in, this time opening up his mouth, exploring, licking Kacchan’s lips until they parted.

Kacchan tasted sweet, hesitant tongue touching his, making Izuku’s breath hitch in his throat. Izuku moved his hand to Kacchan’s neck, tilting his head to get a better angle. His tongue diving deeper, only stopping for a few words, “touch me too, Kacchan,” before going back in. More heated, bordering desperate, when Kacchan’s hands finally landed on his sides. Those soft fingers sliding against his skin and into his back.

Izuku started leading them further into the room, reluctantly parting from Kacchan’s lips when they got to the bed. He pushed Kacchan down gently, fingertips brushing on the edges of the starburst scar. It made his mind stall, movements still and hand shake. 

Too quickly did his mind take him to the deep end. The sweat in his fingers felt like blood, Kacchan on his bed was suddenly him on the ground bloody, chest open, dead.

There was buzzing in his whole body, like a phantom Blackwhip coming to life. It made him even more restless, taking him back to the war. He wasn’t home at all. He was in that tomb, too late — again.

He could barely breathe, panic filling up his body. It had been years since he got hit with his emotions like this. Even on patrol he managed to calm himself when listening to villain attack comms during shifts.

“...Ku… Izuku!”

Izuku gasped, suddenly pulled back to reality by a body crushing into him. He blinked a few times, eyes stuck on a wall until his brain caught on. He was at home, Kacchan was there, hugging him and… Alive. Kacchan was alive. There was no war.

He took a shaky breath, trying to pull back tears that tried to fall. It wasn’t out of sadness, just pure relief.

Slowly he hugged Kacchan back, pushing his face into the man's shoulder to breathe in his scent. A slight glimpse into his own hands calmed him more — it was just sweat, no blood. His mind was being way too cruel to him at a completely wrong moment.

Worst part was that he was still hard, feeling his erection poking Kacchan in such a moment felt totally wrong.

Izuku groaned, hiding his face fully into Kacchan’s shoulder. “Sorry, Kacchan.”

“Don’t be,” Kacchan grumbled. “What even happened? You scared me.” Kacchan’s voice was low, rough. The words made Izuku’s breath hitch. For Kacchan to admit something like that…

“I don’t even know,” Izuku admitted. “I’ve seen your scar plenty of times… I just. Y-you died Kacchan, I—”

“Shh, it’s okay, Izuku,” Kacchan comforted, taking a deep breath. “Explain only if you want to.”

Izuku nodded and voiced a small ‘okay’. After that it was silent, both of them staying there, hugging each other until Izuku’s breaths were fully even. He moved his head, wiped his slightly damp eyes and looked at Kacchan.

He was scowling, eyebrows furrowed and mouth in a pout. Kacchan was adorable. Damn his mind for ruining things, everything was going in such a good direction. He had kissed Kacchan, he was going to… Izuku blushed hard, both hands flying to his face.

“What the fuck is wrong with you now?” Kacchan barked.

“Nothing. I just… Wow. I kissed Kacchan,” Izuku muttered against his hands, slowly spreading his fingers to get a look at Kacchan’s expression. He looked unimpressed, head cocked to the side but Izuku saw the dusting of pink creeping back into his cheekbones and ears.

“No shit, asshole. Pretty sure you weren't done yet… But it’s fine, you probably want to go watch a documentary again or something.”

Izuku lowered his hands, blinking. Kacchan looked bashful, still scowling, like he was a bit… disappointed?

Izuku chuckled as he placed his palms to Kacchan’s cheeks, turning his head so their eyes met again. “You’re right, I wasn’t,” Izuku hummed, gently brushing the scar on Kacchan’s cheek with his thumb. “I don’t really care for a documentary if I have a chance to continue where we left off though.”

“You mean it?”

“Yea. I much rather keep kissing Kacchan,” Izuku murmured, already leaning closer.

“Then shut up and do it.”

Izuku didn’t really need to be told twice. His mouth opened instantly, tongue poking at Kacchan’s lips for entry. It was clear that Kacchan wanted this so Izuku wasn’t going to stop unless the man told him to. At this point he was too tired of limiting himself out of fear. And really, touching Kacchan was one of his oldest dreams. Right after wanting to be a hero.

He was allowed to want both of those now. Izuku was going to do his best in listening to his own desires from now on. Not taking the easiest route to avoid possible hurt. Nothing could hurt more than what he’d already endured. He needed to be better.

“Kacchan,” Izuku gasped between the kiss, hands traveling along Kacchan’s sides. This time when he was about to push Kacchan to the bed he let his fingers trace along the scar on the man’s chest with purpose. It was a mark of Kacchan’s sacrifice, a reminder that he was alive.

Izuku followed Kacchan, lips now making their way down on Kacchan’s skin. Tasting his neck, sucking lightly, listening to all the small whimpers and whines, making note of all the ways Kacchan’s body arched into his touch.

Once his tongue grazed over a nipple Izuku stayed a little longer. Kacchan was clearly sensitive there, only a light touch making his back rise from the bed. He sucked on the bud while twisting the other between his fingers. The gasp from Kacchan was downright sinful.

He would’ve loved to stay there for hours, but he wanted so much more. His mind was filled with an urgency.

He started removing Kacchan’s sweatpants, swallowing when he realized Kacchan didn’t wear underwear. When his cock sprang free, Izuku’s eyes were glued to the sight even when the sweats flew to the floor.

His hand moved closer, almost touching. Kacchan’s dick twitched and Izuku hesitated.

“I, um,” Izuku bit his lip, “I haven’t really done this before. I don’t know if I’ll suck—”

“Doesn’t matter Izuku. Please,” Kacchan whined. And oh. Okay. Yeah. He shouldn’t be stuck in his head about this either.

Luckily he had lube, even if he hardly ever touched himself. It had always been one of those things that relaxed him too much, letting his mind race and thoughts go into wrong directions. He climbed over Kacchan to rummage in his bedside table, set the lube down on the bed as he returned back to his previous position like nothing happened.

This time when his eyes locked back into Kacchan’s dick he didn't hesitate. Instead, his fingers wrapped around it gently, his brain instantly taking notes of everything like before. Every twitch and pulse, the way the foreskin moved when he held tighter and pulled down. It was all so mesmerizing, so good. Kacchan was breathing hard, leaking precum. Izuku dared to swipe his thumb over the tip, spreading the wetness around. God he wanted to have a taste. He was so painfully hard himself that he didn’t think he could take it. He’d probably come just from the weight on his tongue.

The thought made him shiver and Izuku let go of Kacchan. The man whined, ass lifting off the mattress, but Izuku shook his head.

“Be good and wait a little bit. I got you,” Izuku murmured as he grabbed the lube. He spread it generously into his hand, lifting Kacchan’s leg up and spreading lube around the hole.

All the while he was noting down every little thing about Kacchan. The way he went silent after Izuku’s words, the way his body was a little stiff at the moment, but his face said everything. Kacchan wanted this, he was waiting on Izuku to keep going and he did. After circling his fingers around the hole for a while, he slipped his index finger in.

His whole body shuddered, lower belly tightening and he gasped. He didn’t expect Kacchan to be so warm, so tight. It only took a little imagination to think how it would feel around him and Izuku came, fingers digging into the soft skin of Kacchan’s thigh.

“Seriously?” Kacchan groaned. Izuku muttered a trembling sorry as he was coming down from his high, finger still buried inside Kacchan. His cum mixed with the lube, most of it staining the sheets. Oh god. “It’s fine,” Kacchan continued, hips moving against Izuku’s hand.

Oh. His finger slid out and back leisurely, exploring. Kacchan truly was perfect, moving with him, face scrunched up in pleasure, little noises escaping his lips here and there. Izuku savored them all.

It took time for Izuku to add a second finger, but with the third he didn’t take that long. He was getting hard again. Apparently with Kacchan it didn’t take much. The man laying down in his bed was way too erotic, better than any dream Izuku ever had of this moment so he couldn’t stop.

When Izuku put third finger in and pushed deep Kacchan moaned. It was different from any of the previous ones. It made Izuku take a moment. He moved the tips of his fingers inside, prodding, until he got Kacchan moaning again. Izuku felt him shaking, and saw how Kacchan reached for his dick.

“Feel good, Kacchan?” Izuku asked, pulling his fingers out and pushing them in at exactly the same angle, eliciting the sweet mewl out of Kacchan again. If Kacchan kept sounding like that he’d definitely get addicted. “You look so good like that,” Izuku muttered, not able to stop moving his fingers. He knew Kacchan was close, he had to be from the way he kept stroking himself, his body shaking, pushing against Izuku’s fingers whenever the slide of his fingers didn't push far enough.

“Y-yea, want to see you come. Please, come for me Kacchan,” Izuku breathed. It only took a few more strokes until Kacchan was spilling into his hand and stomach. Izuku didn’t stop the movement of his fingers, but he slowed down, going in lazily, letting Kacchan come down from his high.

When Kacchan’s hand fell to the bed Izuku slipped his fingers out. His eyes trained to the hole that tried to wrap around nothing, twitching. He wondered if Kacchan was ready for him now. He couldn’t wait.

Izuku moved closer on the bed, cockhead slightly pushing against Kacchan’s hole. He was painfully hard, been for a while and how could he not? Kacchan made him go crazy with how he let Izuku do anything he wanted, didn’t complain, and was clearly horny and wanting.

Izuku grabbed the lube, slathering his cock with it. Yet he didn’t instantly push in, he looked at Kacchan for any sign of discomfort or plans to stop them right there. Instead, Kacchan looked him in the eyes, didn't move, didn't say anything, but Izuku knew.

He lined himself up, watching as his cock slowly disappeared into Kacchan’s waiting hole. It was so tight. Izuku had to go a little bit at a time. He was getting good at knowing when Kacchan needed a minute. Like this it didn’t take long until he was fully in, hips flush against Kacchan and he shuddered.

The squeeze was perfect. Hot, wet, and hugging his cock like a weighted blanket.

“D-don’t you dare come instantly,” Kacchan said, gritting his teeth.

Izuku chuckled breathily, swiping his sweaty forehead to his palm. “Don’t worry Kacchan, I won’t.”

From there it was mainly slow, steady movements of hips, lots of heavy breathing and wandering hands. 

When Kacchan started pushing his hips, Izuku felt a little overwhelmed, staggering with his own hips. So he did what he thought would be best for them at that moment. He slid out, wrapped his hands around Kacchan and flipped them around.

Once Kacchan was on top, Izuku smirked. “Since you won’t stop moving I thought you wanted to be on top.”

Kacchan growled at him, still he grabbed Izuku’s cock and sank down on it without that much fanfare. Izuku’s eyes rolled back in his head. Kacchan felt so good.

Izuku placed his hands on Kacchan's hips, letting him do all the work for a bit. It didn’t take long until Kacchan was whining, hips stuttering. Izuku pulled him down from his neck and placed a soft kiss on his lips.

“Here,” Izuku whispered against his lips, shifting his hips slightly and pushing them up. Kacchan gasped, making Izuku humm, all pleased.

They found a new rhythm, Kacchan against his chest, kissing here and there. When Kacchan lifted his chest up, hands on the sides of Izuku’s head, he spotted something.

At the doorway was Deku. He was watching them, hand gripping the front of his shorts.

Izuku had gotten what he wanted, he wasn’t that angry at the younger him anymore. If he would’ve gone to the future in middle school he likely would’ve done the same. Why not take the opportunity when it was right in his face? So he got an idea.

He gestured to Deku, trying to get him to strip his clothes. Deku looked shocked he’d been seen, but caught on fast. He squirmed, starting to take off his pants slowly, but when Izuku nodded at him he almost tripped while hastily getting naked.

Izuku chuckled lightly as his hands moved to Kacchan’s ass. He nodded for Deku to get closer and when he got into the bed Izuku lifted Kacchan up, making his cock slip out.

Kacchan looked slightly confused, even more when Izuku said his next words. “Go on, I know you want to.”

Deku placed his hand on Kacchan’s hips and pushed in.

Kacchan gasped, gazing behind himself only to see Deku with his eyes closed, mouth slightly open as he bottomed out. Deku didn’t wait at all until he started moving his hips, chanting ‘Kacchan Kacchan Kacchan’ while thrusting in and out.

Izuku was only now looking at Kacchan. The confusion and shock on his face morphing back into pleasure as Deku fucked into him. Izuku took the time to play with Kacchan’s nipples, tasting them, biting until they’d surely be sore later.

“How does it feel?” Izuku hummed. “Is he satisfying you as well as me?”

Kacchan shook his head. 

Izuku chuckled. “No? To which one? Or both?”

“G-good,” Kacchan gasped, drool traveling down his chin. “Want you, Izuku.” His hand traveled down towards his dick, but Izuku slapped it away.

“Don’t worry Kacchan. You’ll come without touch I promise.” Izuku moved then, lining himself up with Kacchan’s hole. Deku seemed to catch on, stopping his movement. Izuku wasn’t letting him pull out though.

“Think you can take us both?”

Kacchan blinks, confused, slowly realizing what’s going on when the head of Izuku’s cock pokes at his entrance. “I-Izuku, I can’t.”

“You can Kacchan. I know you can do anything.”

Izuku doesn’t give Kacchan time to say anything more before pushing the head of his cock in. He grabbed Kacchan’s hips, lowering the man down at the same time. Izuku knew this was probably way too much for their first time. He would’ve stopped if not for the way Kacchan’s eyes rolled back and the way his warm hole gave way to him.

“God. Kacchan, you’re so,” Izuku moaned, not yet fully in, but he didn’t need to be. Deku started moving again and the way the drag felt against his cock was divine. He didn’t have to move himself, younger him got this one and Izuku happily let him take the lead. “Perfect. Gorgeous. My Kacchan.”

Deku’s movements turned uncoordinated fast, he was panting against Kacchan’s back. It didn’t take long until he came, whimpering and clutching Kacchan like a lifeline.

Izuku would’ve let him come down more gently but he had a mission: Make Kacchan come.

He lifted his legs, making it easier to lift his hips. He started at a relentless pace, holding Kacchan’s hips in place. Deku slipped out in all the hassle and Izuku only focused on Kacchan. He made sure to find the perfect angle, one where Kacchan’s eyes started to water and his mouth stayed open in pleasure. Kacchan was so wet from lube and Deku’s come that the glide in was easy, sloppy, all the slick noises filling the room.

“I-Izuku,” Kacchan breathed.

“Y-yea, you can come,” Izuku breathed heavily. He wasn’t going to last long either, he was so close, holding back. His movements didn’t stop and with a few well coordinated thrusts Kacchan came undone, spilling between them with a loud gasp.

Kacchan’s body was shaking, but Izuku didn’t let him rest before he spilled into the man.

Finally, Izuku let Kacchan’s body go slack and he collapsed on top of Izuku.

Izuku petted Kacchan’s sweaty back absentmindedly while they both steadied their breaths. Izuku’s heart wasn’t slowing down at all. His mind was reeling over the fact that he just had sex with Kacchan. It felt so right. Kacchan had clearly been into it too.

All of these things he’d kept locked up and for what? He had kept Kacchan close to him, but not letting him close enough, not as close as he wanted. All because of his fears. He had been missing all this.

“Kacchan?” Izuku didn’t want to hesitate anymore. So the best course of action was to talk about it, clear things up.

“Mm?” Kacchan replied lazily.

“I’ve always wanted Kacchan to be mine. And to be Kacchan’s. I just don’t think I’m worthy, Kacchan deserves—”

“Oi,” Kacchan interrupted. He crossed his arms across Izuku’s chest, looking down on him with furrowed brows. “You don’t decide what I deserve, asshole. Besides, I've always been yours. You’ve been a possessive freak from the day we met. Sure, you fucking dropped the ball after the war, but I still saw your gaze at times. Why I thought you were doing fine and didn’t question your head enough. ‘t was my fault it got this far.”

“Kacchan no!” Izuku whined. “We went over this. You couldn’t have known.” Izuku groaned, yet the corners of his mouth twisted up. “You really mean it? That you’ve always been mine?”

Kacchan scoffed, thankfully seeming to drop the topic. His ears reddened though, cheek laid on his hands as he looked away from Izuku. “Yea. Kinda wished the suit would’ve conveyed that. ‘m not good with my words.”

At that point Izuku grinned as he grabbed Kacchan’s cheeks into his palms. He placed a firm kiss to Kacchan’s slips, “I love you too Kacchan.”

“That wasn’t what I—”

Izuku stopped him by placing another kiss into Kacchan’s lips. “I know.”

With a growl Kacchan let it go and melted into a languid kiss.

“We need another shower,” Kacchan mumbled, not making any movements to actually get up.

Izuku hummed. “What if I get towels to wipe us down first? Then we take a nap and go from there?” he suggested.

“Mm, fine,” Kacchan sighed and rolled off from Izuku.

Izuku got up, eyes going over the bedroom. He didn’t see Deku anywhere so he kept looking while walking through his apartment into the bathroom. The boy wasn’t there either. He cleaned himself first, grabbing two towels to go.

His eyes did catch the notebook laying on the coffee table. Curious, Izuku snatched it. Something in his gut was telling him that Deku wasn’t around anymore. Had he missed it? What was the moment that did it?

Izuku returned to the bedroom, notebook put down on top of the bedside table while he cleaned Kacchan up. When he was done he left the towels on the floor and sat down.

Kacchan wrapped his arms around Izuku’s middle, not getting up. “Why aren’t you laying down?”

“Oh.” Izuku looked into the distance, trying to make sense of things. “I think the quirk is gone.”

“No more Deku, huh?” Kacchan buried his face into Izuku’s side. “Kinda wished I could’ve said goodbye.”

“Yea, me too,” Izuku answered solemnly. He grabbed the notebook, fingers going over the surface. Hesitantly he opened it and started reading.

It was mostly Deku’s observation from the first moment he got into this time. How he had been scared Izuku had been a clone, how he felt at each moment and what he thought happened during the years between his time and where he was now.

Izuku thought it for sure ended where Deku noted down the facts that happened on the couch: Izuku dragging Kacchan to the bedroom. Yet there was something else on the next page. Something that made Izuku choke up and smile wide. After he was done reading he placed the notebook gently on the table, pushed Kacchan so he could lay down beside him.

Izuku nuzzled close to Kacchan, a little teary, but giddy. Kacchan just rolled his eyes and draped his hands over Izuku, closing his eyes while mumbling, “What did it say?”

“Nothing important.”

Kacchan huffed, poking Izuku’s side making him yelp and giggle. “I know you’re lying, but fine. Keep a secret. I’ll let you have this one, but it better be the only secret from now on.”

Izuku grinned, his upper body raising up, “I promise.” Kacchan tried to roll his eyes again but Izuku dove down into a kiss, not letting Kacchan take back his words.

You said you didn’t want to change anything in the past so I left this here. If I forget when I go back it’s for the best. I trust you to make the right decisions for us, so we can live happily from now on. I’m ready for the journey knowing I get to be with Kacchan every step of the way.

If you read this I’m already gone. In case I didn’t get to say it out loud: Good luck and please, don’t stall any longer. I know for sure I am in love with Kacchan so if you aren’t saying it soon you’re a fool. I’m already dreading to keep that in for over ten years.

- Deku