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Zoey sighed softly as she relaxed in the hot water of the bath house she found herself in. This was one of the new experiences Zoey had to get used to after arriving in Korea. In America, she would be bathing alone in her white-tiled bathtub found within her room, with her own chosen playlist blaring in the background. Now, she had to be quiet, to be serene. To be at peace amidst the ripples of the bath because other individuals were also enjoying it nearby.
Peace and the slowness of the days have always been something Zoey had to get used to. Korea, unlike her childhood hometown, valued tranquility despite the chaos she, along with her band members, had to encounter every day due to the increase in the demons within the area.
She had to get used to everything because everything was entirely new to her. Even the daggers she held just a few hours ago. It was such a challenge for her. The difficulty of adjusting to new environments, habits, experiences, and lessons is so focused on such massive changes in her life that she hasn’t anticipated at all. All she wanted was to be an idol, not to be a demon hunter. So everything was difficult to adjust to. Even…
Even Mira’s brown eyes seemed to stare at hers so nonchalantly as if she was seeing something beyond Zoey. As if she weren’t the subject she was looking for in a painting. As if she were just too much to be placed in the center of the room, but not enough to hold Mira’s attention.’
Zoey clutched her hand against her chest. That familiar feeling of her heart constricting was there again, just like the other times when the thought of Mira crossed her mind. Zoey always knew she preferred girls just as much as she preferred guys. In America, she even stole some kisses from her female classmates, but Mira? Mira was someone else entirely. She knew what she wanted, even if it meant she would be risking everything she worked hard for.
And Zoey just knows that being wanted by Mira was a dream… a dream that unfortunately Zoey will be unable to reach for the rest of her life. Zoey would remain Mira’s friend. Mira’s closest friend along with Rumi. Mira’s right hand, but never her heart. Mira’s adoration but never her devotion. Mira’s-
“What are you doing here all alone, Zo?”
Zoey jumped in surprise. She immediately turned around to see Mira wrapped in a white towel. Her long pink locks cascading behind her back. She raised an eyebrow at Zoey’s blatantly shocked face, which was almost comedic. “It looks like you reserved the place. You are the only customer here.”
“O-oh,” Zoey stuttered over her words. “I didn’t. It was just a bit too late for everyone else to come in here, I guess.”
“Or, Bobby had an agreement with the owner to close the shop whenever we’re here. We can’t risk paparazzi taking pictures of our half-naked bodies after all.” Mira shrugged as she slowly joined Zoey in her tub, although it was a little bit smaller than the others. Zoey never intended to share this tub with others, which is why it’s smaller than the ones Zoey and Mira had always chosen. She couldn’t rack her head why Mira would… squeeze herself here.
“Mira, you could choose another tub, you know. This one is smaller.”
“Nope.”
Zoey raised her eyebrow at Mira’s nonchalance. The woman in front of her spread her bare arms and leaned back against the rim of the bathtub, resting her arms on top of it. Mira picked up on Zoey’s curiosity.
“What? I want to share this tub with you. We always share the tub.”
“But our legs would touch.”
“So? We cuddled on the couch together.”
Zoey groaned internally. Too close. Mira was too close to her bare body, and it was making her feel things. As if proving her point, Mira let her foot touch Zoey’s left leg. Zoey jumped in surprise again, her cheeks burning.
“Mira!”
“What, Zo?”
“Don’t do that!”
Mira chuckled playfully. She pulled her foot away. “Okay. Okay, Zoey!”
Zoey pouted at Mira. Her cheeks were still red from the simple contact. Mira smiled softly. “You’re blushing. It’s cute.”
Her eyebrows crossed. Zoey vaguely remembers Mira’s flirty nature with the other idols and actresses she met during the award show. She remembers how Mira would always lay down compliments that would make others melt.
Zoey has been such an avid reader of novels, and her favorite has been about Greek Mythology. And she is so sure that Mira is a daughter of Aphrodite, with how much she charms people by just simply… existing. And it is so unfair for Zoey because she yearns every day to be Mira’s muse. To be the only one, she gazes with love and devotion.
She knows she’s in love with Mira. But Zoey often remembers that her love has always driven people away. Her love is too much to carry for partners and yet, somehow, it’s still not enough for them to stay. Zoey knows that once she confesses, Mira is bound to run away just like the past lovers Zoey has had-
“I’m in love with you.”
Zoey snaps back into reality. She stares at Mira, who stares at her directly. No hesitation in her eyes, no doubt. Just pure determination. As if there was a little fire behind those pretty brown orbs.
“What?”
“I’m in love with you, Zoey.”
Zoey’s jaw slackened. Mira slowly lowered her arms into the water and crawled towards Zoey with slowness that seemed to say, “If you don’t want this, run.” But Zoey is too shocked to understand what is happening.
“I had a talk with Rumi before this. Before I went to you.” She said softly. “Rumi knew I was in love with you for years. She told me that my eyes never strayed from you. That, despite the coldness it held, Rumi saw how much I enjoyed just watching over you. Just being beside you. Just holding you.”
Zoey pressed her back against the wall of the tub. Mira is dangerously close to her now. “And I saw with him. Mystery? How you smiled so adorably. So cute for him. And those smiles of yours were only reserved for me and Rumi, and I… couldn’t bear it. I couldn’t bear seeing your eyes sparkle a little bit more when Mystery is in the area. I… Zoey, I love you. And I do not want to keep these feelings in the silence anymore.”
Zoey was stunned. She could not speak.
“Please say something”
Zoey gulped slowly. “Your gaze… was never directed at me. It always seem to look past me, Mira. I… How could you fall in love with… me?”
Mira’s eyes stared deep into Zoey’s. As if for the first time, she was memorizing everything in front of her. She took Zoey’s right hand and kissed the back of it tenderly. “I could not look into your pretty eyes because I would drown, Zoey. You’re so beautiful. They’re so mesmerizing that I could not… I could not let myself fall so I would just-“
Mira brushed a strand of her that had fallen on Zoey’s shoulder, and caressed a spot. A spot Zoey knew all too well. One that held the singular mole she had. She would cover it with a concealer for their performances, but somehow… somehow, Mira noticed it.
“I would just stare at this beautiful mole of yours so I won’t lose myself in your eyes, Zoey. And it drives me crazy because I just want to… kiss it”
Zoey’s breath caught in her throat.
“May I?” Mira stepped in closer.
“Kiss the mole?” Zoey said awkwardly, with a small chuckle. Her heart was pounding so impossibly fast. Their chests almost touching.
“No, Zoey” Mira laughed softly. She cupped Zoey’s face. “May I have you? Fully? With your heart, your smile, your eyes, your kisses, your… everything? May I be the muse of the songs you write soon?”
Zoey could not believe it. Just a few minutes ago, she was spiraling over not being enough. Over being too much. Over being overlooked. Over being-
“Zoey, you’re overthinking. I can hear the gears on your head.” Mira softly caresses Zoey’s cheek with her thumb. “Just feel, my sweet.”
As she closed the distance between herself and Mira, Zoey realized—once again—she was learning to adjust, to settle into something new. This time, it was the quiet joy of being loved, and of loving Mira in return. Mira, whose arms were warm and steady. Whose gaze was now fixed solely on her. Whose perfect lips moved against hers with effortless grace.
And for once, Zoey found she wasn’t struggling to adapt at all.