Chapter Text
PANTY ANARCHY VS WONDER WOMAN
LOGO JOKE: We see a fully CGI Panty walking toward Wonder Woman, just like an intro from ‘Injustice 2’.
“You better repent, Motherfucker!” Panty said.
“No, YOU repent!” Wonder Woman replied.
Panty pulled out her pistol and ran toward the warrior.
Wonder Woman pulled out her sword and shield, and was ready for battle. She and Panty charged toward each other and……
Wonder Woman’s shield was the WB logo…….
And now an introduction from Garterbelt:
“Grudges! They’re nasty muthafuckas! Once some asshole insults you or breaks your heart, they’re your enemy for a very long ass time. Perhaps even for life! Love thy neighbour? HA! Fat fucking chance! Fans can turn into haters if their idol rubs them the wrong way. As the old saying goes: You should never meet your heroes, you’ll only end up disappointed. But as much as you hate somebody, believe it or not, they don’t actually hate you back……”
“DUDE, I’M FUCKING PSYCHED!”
Panty had been looking forward to this for months! Her idol, Wonder Woman, was coming for a Meet and Greet in Daten City. Ever since she was a child, Panty had been idolising the superheroine. It was Panty’s way of coping during her miserable childhood. The Angel would often fantasize fighting alongside Wonder Woman as they took down Panty’s abusive foster father.
Panty was straight as an arrow (at least she claims to be) and loved the cock, but if she had to fuck one woman, it would be Wonder Woman.
Panty and Stocking arrived at Daten City Mall. And there she was!
“OH MY FUCKING GOD! I CAN’T FUCKIN’ TAKE IT!” Panty cried.
Wonder Woman was sitting at a table signing autographs. The line of people was almost as long as Grauman’s Chinese Theatre.
Being the selfish, narcissistic bitch with her own head stuck up her ass, Panty decided to skip the line of people. She pushed, kicked and shoved people out of the way.
“Alright, fuckheads! Outta my way! Panty Fuckin’ Anarchy, the most fuckable woman in the world coming through! I’m besties with Wonder Woman, so you better get fuckin lost!”
Wonder Woman saw the raging Panty heading toward her, and she was far from pleased.
What Panty didn’t know was that Wonder Woman didn’t like her very much. Mostly thanks to Panty’s reputation and bad behaviour.
Once Panty and Stocking reached the front of the line, Panty was face to face with her idol.
“Hiya Bestie!” Panty greeted.
“Erm, hello,” Wonder Woman said, rather put off. “You just pushed…..”
“It is such a fucking honour to meet my idol, THE Wonder Woman!” Panty exclaimed as she shook her hand.
“Erm, thank you,” Wonder Woman replied, still not happy. “But you did cut……”
“Wondy…….can I call you that?” Panty asked, not giving two fucks about what she did. “Wondy, if you ever need to find good men to fuck, you can come to yours truley. I know all the best gigolos. I fucked them all. Some good, some crap.”
Stocking looked at her sister and shook her head.
Just then, two security guards arrived.
“Madam, you can’t cut the line like that?” one of the guards said to Panty.
“Do you know who I am? I’m Panty Fucking Anarchy! Do you know how many ghosts I killed to save your city? You should be fucking grateful!”
But the guard wasn’t having it.
“Madam, if you don’t get back to the back of the line, I’m gonna have to kick you out!”
Panty looked at Wonder Woman.
“Wondy, back me up here!”
Panty was acting as if Wonder Woman was her best friend. How pathetic.
Wonder Woman could only say the one thing one her mind:
“Miss Anarchy, if I were you, I would get to the back of the line. I can’t sign your autograph, if you don’t obey the rules.”
Panty looked at her, and then understood.
“You’re right. Wonder Woman is always right.”
Panty then said to the security guards:
“Okay assholes, you win. I’ll get to the back. Catch you later, Wondy!”
Panty started to walk to the back of the line of people. Stocking looked at Wonder Woman and gave her an “I’m sorry” look.
“Hurry the fuck up, sugar tits!” Panty yelled at her sister.
Once Panty and Stocking joined the back of the line, the goth looked at her sister with disgust:
“What?” asked the clueless Panty.
“You made a complete fucking ass of yourself!” said Stocking. “Cutting the line, almost getting us thrown out, and calling Wonder Woman ‘Wondy’?”
“Fuck up, you’re just jealous that she liked me better,” Panty boasted. “She and I…….we shared a moment. Did you share a moment with Wonder Woman, you dumb birdshit-faced cunt. Let me think……….No you fuckin’ didn’t! So there! Now shut the fuck up!”
Stocking didn’t know how to respond to that dumbass comment.
For the next hour, Panty and Stocking waited and waited and waited for their turn.
“HEY FUCKNUTS! HURRY THE FUCK UP ALREADY!” Panty yelled at the mother and six year old girl getting their autographs from Wonder Woman.
“Panty!” Stocking warned her sister.
Panty saw the security guard looking at her. He had his arms folded.
“Just kidding,” Panty giggled.
Brief even got to the front of the line. He stood in front of Wonder Woman in shock.
“Hello and what is your name?” Wonder Woman asked.
But Brief just stood there.
“Are you okay?”
Brief just still stood there like a statue, too stunned to talk.
“It’s alright,” said Wonder Woman. “Just take a deep breath.”
Brief took a deep breath.
“Is that better?” asked Wonder Woman. “Can you tell me your name?”
Brief then went into full fanboy mode:
“OHMYGODICAN’TBELIEVEI’MMEETINGWONDERWOMANTHISISTOOCOOLYOUAREEVENBEAUTIFULINPERSON…….!
“Okay, okay, calm down,” Wonder Woman chuckled politely.
Brief exhaled.
“Now, calm down, and tell me your name,” said Wonder Woman.
“Er, my name is Brief.”
“Nice to meet you Brief,” Wonder Woman said as she signed his photo. “Here you go, have a nice day.”
“Thank you,” Brief said as he walked away.
Oh this is the happiest day of my life! I don’t care what happens to me next, Brief thought to himself as he walked out of the mall.
But Brief was lost in his victory, that when he crossed the road, he didn’t look both ways. He got hit by several cars that bounced him all over the road like a pinball. Once Brief got to the other side of the road, he didn’t care about getting hit.
Absolutely NOTHING can ruin my mood today! He thought.
As Brief walked down the street, a paint can dropped from the ceiling and landed on his head, covering him in paint. But Brief didn’t care. Then he fell into an opened manhole, but he still didn’t care.
He climbed out of another manhole covered in shit, but he still didn’t care.
Just then, he got run over by a stampede of rhinos and Elephants that escaped from the zoo.
But as he laid there trampled from the big feet, Brief still didn’t care. He met Wonder Woman and got her autograph which was safely zipped up in his pocket.
Back in the mall, it was FINALLY Panty and Stocking’s turn. Wonder Woman had been dreading this all day.
“Hi again, Wondy!” Panty greeted.
“Who should I write this to?” Wonder Woman asked Stocking.
“Stocking and Panty,” said the goth angel.
“PANTY and Stocking!” Panty snapped. “I’m the oldest and fuckable, so I ALWAYS get top billing!”
As Wonder Woman signed their photos, Panty handed her a note.
“Here’s my number, you wanna fuck hot guys, I’m your guide,” said the blonde angel.
“Thank you,” Wonder Woman said, sounding very uninterested.
She handed Panty and Stocking the photos.
“Here you go, now goodbye,” she said as she got up from the table.
“You’re leaving NOW?” Panty asked, surprised. “Don’t you wanna hang out?”
“I’m afraid I can’t,” Wonder Woman said, eager to leave. “I have to save the world, goodbye.”
Wonder Woman exited the mall, with Panty and Stocking following her.
Wonder Woman then pulled out her jet keys and pressed the button.
Her invisible jet bleeped. Wonder Woman got inside and started the engine. She waved goodbye to Panty and Stocking, and the Invisible Jet flew off into the sky.
Panty and Stocking stood there. Panty just shook her head and smiled.
“Best day ever, Sugar Tits,” said Panty. “BEST FUCKIN’ DAY EVER!”
Stocking wanted to tell Panty that Wonder Woman didn’t like her very much, but she didn’t want to get into an argument with her idiot sister.
Actually, there was a reason Wonder Woman was in Daten City.
Corset helped Ursa escape the Phantom Zone, and it was up to Wonder Woman to find them.
But Wonder Woman didn't want to go to Daten City because that AWFUL Panty Anarchy was there! And now that Wonder Woman had met the angel, she hoped never to meet her again.
Too bad for Wonder Woman…..
“Why hasn’t she called?” Panty moaned.
It had been a couple of days since Panty and Stocking met Wonder Woman, and the blonde angel was getting impatient.
“Panty, she’s a superheroine, she’s busy fighting crime,” Stocking said as she ate her MASSIVE Sundae.
“She’s not even on Facebook or X,” Panty sighed.
“Panty, if you were a superheroine, you have to keep your identity a secret,” said Stocking. “This is to protect your family and friends.”
But Panty was not going to give up. She went onto X and wrote endlessly about how she met Wonder Woman and called her ‘Wondy’.
Then she uploaded a YouTube video of herself talking about meeting her at the Meet and Greet.
Then she contacted Daten City News wanting to be interviewed about her encounter with Wonder Woman.
Stocking and Garter thought Panty’s obsession was pathetic. But a reporter from Daten City News accepted.
The News crew went to the Church and the reporter interviewed Panty on camera.
“Well, you see I’ve been a fan of Wondy since I was a kid,” Panty explained. “You see, I had a shitty childhood and she was the only person who kept me going. When life gets tough, I just think ‘What would Wonder Woman do?’. She’d kick ass, that’s what she’d do.”
Diana Prince was inside her five star hotel suite watching this news report. She shook her head in disbelief. She just wanted to find Ursa, send her back to the Phantom Zone and get out of Daten City, away from Panty!
Diana was in the supermarket, buying fresh fruit and vegetables. She saw Stocking over at the candy aisle.
“Oh no!” she muttered.
If Stocking was here, that meant Panty was not too far away.
“Hey Fatty McFatcunt!” Panty called. “Get out of that fat shit aisle and help me pick out some fruit and vegetables.”
“You? Eating fruit and vegetables?” Stocking asked.
“I want to eat Wonder Woman’s diet,” said Panty.
Diana dreaded this day. Panty and Stocking were heading her way.
Maybe they won’t recognise me, Diana thought to herself. “ After all, she’s too stupid.”
Whilst Panty was checking out the fruit and veg, she noticed Diana, pretending to look at something else. Panty looked at Diana for a long time, Then Panty placed her own fingers in front of her eyes. From Panty’s POV, she made index and middle fingers from both hands into the shape of Wonder Woman’s headband over Diana’s forehead.
Panty smiled.
“Stockin’ look! There’s Wonder Woman!”
Stocking looked at Diana and then, she took a very good look. She did the same thing as Panty with her fingers.
“Fuck me, that IS her!” said Stocking. “And look, you can see her bracelets.”
OH NO! Diana thought to herself.
And it got worse.
Panty took out her phone and took a photo of Diana.
Diana knew she was fucked.
And it gets EVEN WORSE! Panty sent the photo on Facebook and X.
“I’m gonna go talk to her,” Panty said to Stocking.
“No,” said Stocking.
“Hey, where did she go?” asked Panty.
Diana just seemed to have vanished all of a sudden.
“Such a superhero thing,” said Panty.
That evening, Panty was on her laptop reading the comments of the photo she uploaded. Some of the comments didn’t buy it:
“FAKE!”
“Looks fuck all like her!”
“I look more like Wonder Woman than this whore!”
But then there was a comment from some called “Ursa The Great”. It said “That woman is Diana Prince, she is in fact Wonder Woman. She is living at the Five Star Daten City Hotel.”
Panty smiled. FINALLY! She was going to hang out with her idol.
Oh boy………..You could actually hear the shit hitting the fan. Too bad Panty was too stupid to know.
Panty arrived at the hotel and asked for Diana Prince’s room.
Diana was lying on her bed looking up Panty’s accounts on X and Facebook, horrified at what Panty had done.
There was a knock on the door. Diana opened it to reveal a smiling and over the moon Panty.
“HIYA BESTIE!”
Panty walked into the room.
“Cool-ass room, you got great taste! So Wondy, what do you wanna do first? I have a long list of the greatest men to fuck in Daten City.”
But Diana just stood there, not looking happy.
“Something wrong, buddy?”
“I am not your buddy, I’m not your bestie, and I don’t like being called ‘Wondy’,” Diana said sternly.
“Okay, I’ll drop the ‘Wondy’, it’s a stupid nickname anyway,” said Panty. “That was my dumbass sister’s idea.”
“But I’m not bothered by that at all,” said Diana.
“So what bothers you?” asked Panty.
“You want to know what bothers me?” asked Diana. “The fact that revealed my secret identity on social media for millions to see……”
There was a long pause.
“Okay, I’ll take it off,” said Panty.
“Oh no, it’s too late for that,” Diana said, starting to get angry. “I am here in this city on a top secret mission to save the world, but my cover is blown all because of you.”
Panty just looked at her.
“Sorry.”
“Oh you’re sorry?” Diana asked. “YOU’RE SORRY? YOU REVEALED MY IDENTITY THANKS TO YOUR STUPIDITY!!
Panty just stood there, shocked at Diana yelling at her.
“You know something,” Diana started to get angrier. “I didn’t want to come to this city because of you. Yes, I know who you are, Panty Anarchy……..AND I DON’T LIKE YOU AT ALL!”
Panty was hurt by this.
“I don’t like you because you are selfish, arrogant, rude, full of yourself and your love for men, you just give women a bad name!” Diana continued.
Panty was shocked by this.
“When I met you a few days ago, I knew our encounter was going to be bad,” Diana continued. “Get this: you and I WILL NEVER BE FRIENDS! WHO WOULD WANT TO BE FRIENDS WITH A HORRIBLE PERSON LIKE YOU?”
Panty felt upset.
“And let me tell you something else,” Diana went in for her big finish. “If you do collect all your coins and get back into Heaven, you will only get kicked out again BECAUSE YOU CANNOT FOR THE LIFE OF YOU, DO A SINGLE THING RIGHT!”
Diana was so angry, that she pounded a table and broke it into pieces.
Panty just stood there horrified by what just happened.
“Infact you know what?” Diana asked. “Just get out! JUST GET OUT!”
Diana grabbed Panty and pushed her out the door and into the corridor. Diana then slammed the door really hard.
Panty just stood there in silence.
She felt like she was going to cry.
Her own idol, the woman she always wanted to be just broke her heart. It was Panty’s own stupidity that caused it, but the dim angel didn’t know any better.
Panty just left the hotel feeling like shit. She got into See Through and drove home.