Chapter Text
"Have you seen them?"
The three soldiers, sprawled lazily around the dormitory’s communal kitchen table, turned to him with puzzled expressions.
"Seen who?" Nanaba asked after a moment of shared silence.
Petra, resting against her with her back pressed to Nanaba’s chest, raised her eyebrows in confusion.
Mike ran a hand through his hair, clearly frustrated with his own thoughts, and tried to rephrase. He hadn't exactly said it well the first time.
"Levi and Hans, I mean," he clarified - though still not very clearly. "Have you seen them?"
"Hanji's with Moblit in the lab," Zeke answered right away, putting his spoon down in the bowl. "They're going over the reports from the last expedition."
"What about the captain?" Petra chimed in, straightening and slipping out of Nanaba’s arms. "I’ve got documents to deliver too."
"No idea," Zeke replied with a shrug, then flashed a mischievous grin. "But if you hand me a magnifying glass, I might be able to find him."
"Asshole," Nanaba muttered with a snort, barely holding back laughter. She tossed a piece of stale bread at him, nailing him right in the forehead. "If he catches you..."
"You should really stop with those tasteless jokes, Squad Leader Zeke," Petra said, her tone edged with irritation. "One of these days, it’s going to blow up in your face. You’ll be in a whole world of trouble."
"Only one world?" Zeke replied, pouting theatrically. "I expected more."
He and Nanaba burst into laughter like kids, while Petra watched them with clear disapproval.
But their banter faded into the background for Mike. He wasn’t listening, not really. He was still trying to sort through a thought that wouldn't settle. His brow was tense, his lips pressed into a line, and his nose twitched at a scent that had clung to him for days. It was everywhere.
A strange blend of tension and newness, lavender and fresh laundry. Notes of tea, paper, lemon, and lily of the valley. The unmistakable presence of something that didn’t belong. Something that arrived out of nowhere, like a slap in the face.
"Have you seen them?" he asked again, voice low, stuck in the loop of his own mind. "Please. Tell me you've seen them."
"Mike, did you hit your head or something?" Zeke asked, raising an eyebrow. "Or are you actually trying to say something?"
Mike rubbed his nose, then stood up so abruptly that the chair nearly tipped over and the table rattled under the weight of his sudden movement. The others stared up at him, startled.
"Squad Leader Mike..." Petra whispered, wrinkling her nose. "Have you been dipping into the commander's liquor again?"
"What the fuck, Mike?" Zeke groaned, his voice edging into a theatrical whine. "Again? If you're going to steal from Erwin's stash, the least you can do is share."
But Mike Zacharias hadn’t touched a drop. He had simply realized - once again - that his nose had been right all along. He’d tried to ignore it. Tried to mind his own business. But it was no use. He always knew. Often before anyone else. Sometimes, he hated his damn nose. He despised what it forced him to know. That hyper-sensitive sense of smell that gave him an intuition sharper than most people’s logic.
Zeke or Hanji could dissect a situation with their minds, cataloguing, analyzing, drawing conclusions. But they couldn’t smell it. They couldn’t sense the undercurrents between people. The scent of change. The shift in… in their...
"Their hormones!" he exploded suddenly, like a madman at the end of his rope. He shot them a look of sheer indignation. "Hans and Levi. Didn't you see what they did?"
Zeke raised an eyebrow, slowly.
"...No?"
"Damn, do you even have eyes?" Mike snapped, throwing himself back into his seat, arms crossed like a sulking giant. "I’m not asking you to smell it, but at least look!"
Nanaba and Petra exchanged a wary glance.
"What do you usually look at before an expedition?" Mike demanded. "Do any of you actually observe anything?"
"The gate," Nanaba replied cautiously, brows knit. "Waiting for it to open."
"The reins," Petra answered confidently. "I always check they’re tight, and that the horse is good to go."
Everyone turned to Zeke.
"Nothing...?” he offered after a beat. It sounded like a question. “No, seriously. I don’t look at anything. I just stare into space and think about my own crap until Erwin starts yelling.”
Mike dragged a hand down his face, the picture of theatrical suffering - a man truly living his own personal nightmare.
“How the fuck did you people even get into this regiment?” he snapped, outraged. “How do you plan on surviving out there with zero observation skills?”
“Since when is being nosy considered observational skills?” Zeke asked, his voice dripping with sarcasm.
Mike caught Nanaba quickly turning her head away, clearly trying not to burst out laughing.
“It’s not being nosy, you idiot! It’s just-”
“Oh, stop it! Can we just get to the point already?” Petra cut in, sounding thoroughly annoyed. “What did they even do? We’re still waiting!”
“Holy crap, I can’t believe none of you noticed it!” Mike burst out, finally letting his frustration boil over in a way that, to everyone else, seemed completely out of proportion. “They were… they were flirting!”
The three soldiers stared at him like he’d just spoken some long-dead language. And then, without hesitation or shame, they burst out laughing. Zeke was crying. Nanaba was doubled over, clutching her stomach. Even rule-abiding Petra was grinning like she couldn’t help herself.
Mike didn’t move. His eyebrows slowly sagged, his mouth drooping into a bitter frown. Of course. As always. No one ever saw anything. No one ever understood. He was just left standing there looking like the fool - until, eventually, something finally knocked some sense into their thick skulls.
But Mike had reached his limit. This time, he wasn’t just annoyed, he was offended, almost irrationally so, that not a single one of them could see what was plain as day. Normally, he’d drop a comment, let it go, go back to minding his business, and wait for reality to prove him right. But this time - oh, this time - it had hit him so hard he couldn’t ignore it. And neither should they. Because at this point, it was so obvious it was practically screaming. It had gotten ridiculous.
As the laughter faded, Mike stayed silent. Zeke, still catching his breath, leaned slightly across the table toward him.
“Mike… there’s something…” He let out one last chuckle before trying to compose himself. “…something about that miserable look on your face… that almost makes me think you’re serious.”
“Because I am serious,” Mike said, deadpan and full of quiet outrage. “You stupid bastard.”
Nanaba and Petra stopped laughing. Zeke froze, eyes widening. For a moment, it was as if something had actually struck all three of them at once.
Mike crossed his arms and let out a satisfied smirk. Finally. Now they were getting it. They were seeing it, understanding it, and he was just there, ready to shout, “I told you so” and explain everything.
"Squad Leader Mike," Petra broke the silence, her voice full of reproach. "So you really did raid the Commander’s alcohol stash".
Zeke and Nanaba burst out laughing again and Mike let his arms drop.
I’m surrounded by idiots, he thought. I can’t believe this.
"I’m not drunk," he insisted, standing up again and pacing the room. "I’m not joking. I’m sober, I’m serious, and, for fuck’s sake, you need to listen to me."
"Mike, light of my life," Zeke interrupted, sounding calm. Mike saw him push his glasses up his sharp nose in that annoying way he did when he was about to launch into one of his brilliant theories. "I’d love to listen to you, if only this whole thing wasn’t... how do I put it?"
"Unbelievable?" Petra suggested with a raised eyebrow.
"Impossible," Nanaba added with a smirk.
"Thanks, ladies. Exactly. It’s hard to believe something like that. It’s like if I came up to you and, out of nowhere, told you Erwin draws his eyebrows. Would you believe me, Mike?"
"I would," Nanaba whispered, biting into a loaf of bread. Three pairs of eyes turned to her. "What? They’re too perfect."
Zeke sighed.
"What I’m trying to say is: this is ridiculous."
"But it’s true!" Mike insisted. "You didn’t even notice today - you never notice anything - but I did! I noticed! This has been going on for ages."
"Mike," Nanaba said his name softly, with a tone that made him feel like a child throwing a tantrum. "What exactly did they do? Tell us properly. Maybe we’ll get it."
Mike stopped in the middle of the room by the cupboard, and took a deep breath. Of course he was going to explain, of course. He couldn’t wait to lay it all out, every little detail. Because this was the ultimate proof of something that had been right under their noses - his nose - forever. And if they didn’t get it now...
"We were there, all lined up on our horses, in front of the Wall’s entrance," Mike began, his voice calm and almost inviting, like he was telling a story. "We were waiting for Erwin to give the signal, Hans and Levi were in the same row, and—"
"Hold on a sec."
Mike sighed at Zeke’s interruption.
"What?"
Zeke pressed his lips together, his light brows furrowed, like he was actually thinking hard about something. He put a hand to his chin, then adjusted himself on the chair.
"I want to see it."
The other three stared at him, confused.
"You want what?"
"I want to see the moment," Zeke clarified. He almost sounded excited. "To visualize it better, makes me feel more involved. Mike, you be Hanji and... Petra, you do Levi."
Petra turned to him, a scowl on her face, her cheeks flushed.
“Are you kidding me? That’s utterly ridiculous!" she exclaimed. "Why should I?"
"For accuracy," Zeke answered casually, though he was grinning. "It’s the height difference."
“It’s not true!” Nanaba exclaimed, laughing as she always did when Zeke spouted off some ridiculous nonsense. “For fuck’s sake, you’re awful!”
“Everyone says it, but hardly anyone actually means it.”
“If you want a ridiculous reenactment to feel more involved, then go ahead and do it yourself,” Petra shot back, crossing her arms. “I can’t believe you’re actually one of my superiors.”
“It’s a brilliant idea!” Zeke said, getting to his feet and completely ignoring Petra’s comment. “I’ll come stand next to you, Mike.”
Mike rubbed his face in frustration. He just wanted to tell a story and speculate with his comrades - why did they have to make everything so complicated?
“I have a better idea,” Nanaba said unexpectedly. “I’ll be Levi. Zeke can be Hanji, and Mike will narrate.”
“If I let you do this ridiculous thing, will you finally let me tell my story and share my theories?”
Zeke placed a hand dramatically over his heart and Mike rolled his eyes.
“You have our word.”
Mike watched as Zeke and Nanaba set up two chairs back-to-back, positioning them a short distance apart, and sat down on them as if they were riding horses. Petra, now looking more annoyed but also intrigued, watched them. To be honest, all of them were curious.
This was definitely getting ridiculous, but Mike couldn’t help but go along with it.
“Anyway, now the height difference is just right,” Petra pointed out, arms crossed.
It was true. Nanaba and Zeke were exactly ten centimeters apart in height.
“Enough with this nonsense,” Mike complained, still leaning against the cupboard. “Let’s talk about something serious.”
“Titans, then.”
“Less serious,” Mike emphasized, exasperated. “Damn, Zeke, shut the fuck up!”
Zeke pretended to zip his lip, and Mike looked at Petra, who was the only one still seated at the table, acting like the "audience."
“Anyway,” Mike continued, “we were waiting for Erwin to give the signal. Hans and Levi were lined up next to each other, and I was behind them. So I got a pretty good view. Hanji started babbling about titans…”
“OHHHH! How many titans are out there!” Zeke said in an overly enthusiastic tone. “I wonder which one I’ll run into today! If only I were lucky enough to see an abnormal!”
Mike froze and gave him a sharp look. Zeke turned to him.
“I was just doing an impression.”
“It was awful. But that’s not the point. It’s just that…” Mike pursed his lips. “Hans said exactly that. Did you hear it? So you saw them?”
Zeke laughed and put on a smug look.
“No, I just guessed,” he said proudly. “We talk about this all the time. And honestly, I thought the same thing.”
“Please, let's move on before someone catches us like this," Petra said, glancing at the door.
But it was too late for any soldier to pop out. The only people who could find them like this were – paradoxically – the very ones involved. Mike shuddered at the thought.
“So, Hans says that, and then Levi, with his usual bored tone, says…”
“Who the fuck cares, four-eyes?”
Mike, Petra, and Zeke turned toward Nanaba. She blinked a couple of times.
“Well, I’m giving my interpretation too.”
“Yours is wrong,” Mike said, smirking slightly when the others seemed surprised. “Levi was making fun of Hanji. As usual, you’ll say. And he said, ‘There’s already one nearby,’ referring to the abnormal. And then Hans said…”
“Really?! Where?!” Zeke interrupted, looking around.
Mike stared at him, shocked, because Zeke had guessed the line perfectly. It was amazing how well he knew Hanji. To be honest, there were moments when they really did seem like the same person. And yet... he still hadn’t figured out what had been right in front of his eyes for months.
“And then Levi did… that thing,” Mike said, the memory flashing in his mind. “He got closer.”
“He did what?” Nanaba asked, confused. “Like, what do you mean…?”
Mike moved closer and positioned himself behind the two of them. This was why the reenactment was necessary - just telling it with words wouldn’t have the same impact. It had really happened, and damn it, he couldn’t believe no one had noticed.
Petra leaned forward now, her curiosity completely taking over her expression.
Mike took Zeke’s and Nanaba’s heads in his hands, turned them toward each other, and brought them close. Their eyes locked, their noses nearly brushed, their foreheads almost touching. It looked like they were about to kiss. That moment when you’re halfway there, staring into someone’s eyes, unsure of what to do next.
The two of them stared wide-eyed, and Mike’s hands rested gently on their heads.
“Levi grabbed Hanji by the ponytail, turned her face toward his, and said…” Mike continued solemnly. He let go of their heads, but Zeke and Nanaba stayed still, struck by the revelation. “’Right here.’ That’s what he said.”
“This is…”
“Uh, excuse me.”
The four of them turned instantly toward the kitchen entrance, expressions full of terror.
“Could someone tell me what you’re doing?”
*
They were all seated again around the small rectangular table, which had been shifted to make a bit more room, the fifth newcomer eyed them with a puzzled expression.
Zeke started handing out teacups and set a plate of cookies on the table as an awkward silence settled over the kitchen. They all started sipping their tea, exchanging brief glances.
"So..." Erwin began, breaking the silence. He picked up a cookie from the plate, perfectly at ease. "Do you think there's something going on between them?"
Mike shot a glance at Erwin and wrinkled his large nose. Sure, as if he hadn't already shared his suspicions! But of course Erwin was pretending not to know. They couldn't exactly admit that their private meetings sometimes delved into such matters. Erwin certainly couldn't admit to being the worst kind of gossip - one who never agreed with him, though.
"No," Zeke replied calmly. He took another sip of tea. "But now that Mike's told us this..."
"By 'this,' you mean whatever you were doing back there, in the middle of the kitchen?"
"Mm, exactly," Zeke muttered, turning his face away as he brought the cup to his lips.
Erwin nodded thoughtfully, surveying the others at the table with a quick glance. Zeke, Nanaba, and Petra - who looked particularly nervous.
Indeed, Mike realized that Petra was the only one at the table who had never built any sort of personal bond with Erwin, nor shared this kind of informal moment with him before.
"We could take stock of the situation," Erwin suggested. He bit into the cookie with ease and swallowed gracefully. "Put the pieces together."
"It’s gossip, Erwin," Zeke scoffed. "Not a new military theory."
Erwin wore an indulgent expression as the other soldiers chuckled under their breath. Mike could have sworn he saw Petra lift the corner of her mouth and then immediately regret it.
"Not a new military theory, but relevant enough to warrant an accurate reenactment," Erwin shot back, a sly smile curving his full lips. "In every little detail."
"It was just to understand better..."
"Of course," Erwin brought the cup back to his lips, covering his smile. "I’m sure you did."
Zeke cleared his throat and didn't respond. They fell into another silence thick with embarrassment, the only sound being the clink of cups against saucers.
"This tea has a fruity yet delicate aroma. It feels like silk on my taste buds," Mike broke the silence, furrowing his brows. He turned to Erwin. "Feels like dancing with it. Not the usual disgusting blend you serve us every month with that skimpy budget."
Erwin straightened up, clutching the cup tightly in his hand.
"I'd like to clarify, the funds allocated for food consumed in the barracks are not skimpy. There are many factors to consider; we have to make do..."
"Hey, but it's true. This tea is classy. I feel..."
"I feel like I'm at court," Mike completed for Nanaba. "It's so... elegant..."
"Indeed, what's in your cups isn't that dirty water Erwin makes you drink," Zeke said with a sly grin. "It's the little prince's personal stash."
"Are we...?" Petra swallowed hard. Mike noticed it was the first time she'd spoken since Erwin had sat down with them. "... are we drinking the Captain's personal tea?"
A thud, coming from an indeterminate point, made the five of them turn toward the kitchen door. They stared at it for a moment, terrified, almost expecting to see Levi appear. When nothing followed the noise, they let out an almost sigh of relief.
"You used Levi's tea?" Mike's tone was almost strangled. "The one he personally procures?"
"The one for which I grant absolutely useless permits and days off?" Erwin raised his bushy eyebrows as he lowered his gaze to the drink.
"Precisely," Zeke confirmed, and Mike couldn't help but notice he seemed absolutely pleased. "Ah, what a rich taste! What a crazy blend of flavors. I don't know how he drinks this goodness and always has that pissed-off face."
"Mm. I have reason to believe Levi won't be very happy about this," Erwin commented, still drinking.
"Such insight, Erwin."
"That's an understatement, Commander," Petra piped up. She shot Zeke a look of pure disapproval. "He..."
"We're going to end up like the titans," Nanaba whispered in a grim tone. "He'll spin like a top on our necks."
"Maybe," Zeke agreed. He finished the last sip in his cup, poured more. "But he's not here to do it now."
"Fair point."
Another loud thump. Everyone jolted in their seats, even Erwin, who quickly composed himself. Mike was starting to feel uneasy. His eyes darted around the room. No one else was there, and his nose... his nose wasn't detecting anything suspicious. He could smell the tea, the people around him, the leather of their uniforms and boots, the food stored in the pantry.
And yet... that familiar scent... again… right there.
"Did anyone else hear... something?" Nanaba asked hesitantly.
Before anyone could answer, Zeke waved her off with a lazy flick of the hand.
"Just the sound of this amazing tea sliding down my throat," he said, earning several stares. "You're all just being paranoid. Now, where were we?"
No one needed convincing. Mike hid a grin behind his cup. As much as they were all terrified of Levi finding out, they just couldn’t stop drinking his ridiculously good tea.
"You mean the conversation? Or your little dramatic reenactment?" Erwin said with a smirk.
"The blossoming romance between Hanji and Mister Pocket Edition."
"You really do have a wild collection of nicknames for Levi."
"I'm a creative man."
"And clearly not concerned about your personal safety."
Zeke shot Erwin a crooked grin and popped a cookie into his mouth.
"If I were, dear Commander, I wouldn’t be wearing this badge on my jacket," he said. "Neither would you."
"I saw them the other day!" Petra blurted out, nearly cutting Zeke off. "The Captain... he was yelling at Squad Leader Hanji about how disgusting her glasses were—"
Mike noticed Petra looking down, cheeks flushed, shoulders dropping like she’d finally let go of a weight she’d been carrying for minutes.
"That's not exactly breaking news."
"But then he grabbed her glasses... and started cleaning them-"
"See? Totally on brand. The guy’s got a hygiene fixation-"
"-with his own handkerchief."
"HA! I KNEW IT!" Mike slammed his large hands down on the table just as Zeke choked and spat out his tea.
Most of the hot liquid splashed across the table, but a generous amount hit Erwin directly - who, unfortunately, happened to be sitting in the line of fire.
“He… he did what?!” Zeke croaked between coughing fits. Nanaba instinctively started patting his back, still visibly stunned.
Mike was pacing the room again, buzzing with energy. His eyes locked onto Nanaba, Zeke, and Petra - wide-eyed, staring into nothing, mouths slightly open, shoulders slumped. It was sinking in.
Finally. He wasn’t alone anymore.
“You see it now, don’t you? Levi’s got a crush on her. That’s his idea of flirting.”
“If that’s flirting,” Erwin said, still dabbing tea off his face with a handkerchief, “he could use a lesson or two in technique.”
Mike snorted under his breath. Erwin had been soaking in his theories for months - always the same ones. He was just as thrilled to hear something new, but a lot better at hiding it.
“Come on, think about it,” Mike urged. “How many times have you seen Levi acting weird around Hanji?” He sank back into his chair and looked them each in the eye. “Weird for him, I mean.”
"Two days ago," Zeke hissed, his tone distant. He seemed the most affected by it. "Two days ago, he offered to fix her hair, telling her it looked like shit. He fixed up her ponytail."
"Oh, no way!"
“You actually saw this kind of stuff and thought it was normal? You're blind," Mike muttered, sounding pretty full of himself.
"Holy shit. How did I not notice? How? If I only think about it… Mike, it's like you've opened a third eye for me."
"You're welcome, no need to thank me."
"I'm not thanking you! I was better off in the dark! Now I’ll never unsee it. How am I supposed to act normal around them?"
"Welcome to the club," Mike muttered, leaning across the table to pat Zeke on the head. "It’s lonely being the only one who's always paying attention."
Zeke buried his face in his hands. The whole thing seemed to genuinely torment him.
Mike picked up on something in his reaction, something different. It wasn’t just surprise. It felt deeper. More... personal.
"But what about Hanji?" Nanaba asked, completely ignoring them. "Now that you’ve told me all this, I’m sure about Levi. But her..."
"Well, first of all, the way they interact leaves very little room for doubt, like I said earlier…" Mike cleared his throat. "Anyway, yeah, she’s into him too," he added, confidently.
Zeke let out a quiet groan.
"They’re both gone. The difference is, in Hanji’s case, I’ll give you that it’s harder to pin down. With someone like Levi - closed off, withdrawn - certain gestures really stand out. Hanji’s the opposite. She’s loud, always around people. Even if she’s selective in her own way, she’s open. Always cracking jokes, always moving. And with friends? Super physical. But if you really watch her… especially if you’re around her all the time - it’s obvious."
Mike scratched his nose, then chuckled softly as he turned toward the door.
"Why don’t you come join us, huh?"
*
Moblit squeezed in between Petra and Nanaba, his back hunched and tense, looking like he definitely didn’t want to be there. Mike had let him eavesdrop for a while before catching him, just to give him a moment’s illusion that he’d gotten away with it.
His being there was important for two reasons. First, Moblit was a valuable witness for their cause – he was more insightful than the others, especially when it came to emotional stuff. He was a good observer, very sensitive, and always by Hanji’s side. Even when no one else was. More than Mike himself. More than Zeke.
Second, if Moblit was here, he wasn’t with Hanji at the moment. If Hanji wasn’t with him, she was either sleeping – which was strange – or out and about – much more likely. And if she was out, they needed to be extra cautious. Because whenever Hanji was out at night, she always ended up running into another person who also notoriously slept little and poorly, and loved wandering the barracks hallways. Mike realized he had picked the worst possible place to bring up this issue.
“Welcome, Moblit,” Erwin said politely, sliding the plate of cookies toward him. “Help yourself. Zeke will bring you a cup.”
Just then, Zeke dropped a clean cup in front of Moblit, then leaned in slightly, looking a bit threatening.
“Where’s Hanji?”
Moblit swallowed.
“Uh, I don’t know.”
Mike pressed his lips together. Moblit had one flaw: he was too loyal.
“We don’t need to know who she’s with…” he said smoothly, pouring Levi’s tea – they’d made a second pot. They were definitely going to get killed for this. “Just if she’s nearby. You know how it is.”
Moblit got distracted for a moment by the inviting smell of the tea, then snapped out of it. He looked around like a caged animal.
“I really don’t know,” he said, almost exasperated. “After finishing the reports on the mission, she said she was going for a walk.”
“Petra, you said you didn’t know where Levi was.”
Petra nodded, throwing a worried glance at the door.
“I still have the reports to hand in.”
“Mhm. Another risky mission for the Survey Corps,” Erwin muttered, smiling with satisfaction. “Nanaba, block the door with a chair.”
“This is the common kitchen…”
“Block it.”
Mike nearly burst out laughing. That gossipy bastard was slowly revealing his true nature.
“See, Moblit, the thing is, tonight we…”
“Commander, I’m not sure it’s appropriate to talk about the private lives of my superiors.”
“Technically, it’s an even higher superior asking you…”
“Nice one, Erwin. That little innocent phrase really smells like abuse of power,” Zeke remarked, his voice dripping with sarcasm. “Now we’re really in a great spot.”
Everyone but Moblit bit their lips to avoid laughing.
Erwin stayed composed, exuding an enviable savoir-faire. He flashed his best polished smile.
“I’m sure Moblit understands what I’m trying to say,” he said amiably. “We just want to understand, so we can… help, you know? We’re just talking.”
Something clicked inside Moblit Berner. He glanced around, then leaned in toward Erwin.
“Commander Erwin, I beg your pardon.”
Moblit loosened the first two buttons of his uniform shirt and slouched back in his chair. Five pairs of eyes fixed on him, confused.
“I can’t take it anymore,” he muttered. “This is driving me crazy.”
Erwin nodded towards Zeke, pointing to the third cupboard in the sideboard - his personal stash of rum. Zeke didn’t need a second invitation. He grabbed the bottle and placed it right in front of Moblit, who immediately turned his tea into a proper rum-spiked one.
“The other members of my squad, they don’t want to believe me. But I knew it was true.”
Mike squinted until his eyes were mere slits. Moblit Berner was probably just tired of being seen as a visionary in a context where nobody really believed him. What a shame he’d always avoided reaching out to him directly all that time...
“I… um…”, he took a breath. “Sometimes he makes her tea. He casually brings a cup to the lab and leaves it on the desk almost with disdain, pretending it’s just leftovers, something useless. He always says he made extra by mistake and hates to throw it away but I know that’s not true. It’s his personal stash, you see? It smells the same now that I think about it. Oh. Are… are we drinking the Captain’s tea?”
“Don’t worry about that for now, Moblit.”
“He comes by at night, when we’re stuck filling out reports. Says he can’t sleep, so he reads a book while we keep working. Sometimes he helps us. The Squad Leader’s really focused, so it’s not like they chat. They just… exist in the same room, that’s it.”
Moblit took another gulp of tea with rum, then continued.
“The Squad Leader…” he sighed. “Hanji sometimes looks up from what she’s doing and watches him. And she can’t be subtle about it. The Captain blatantly pretends not to notice for a while… then he does the same. Then they start teasing each other. The atmosphere becomes unbearable. The number of times I’ve heard the same five jokes about poop…
“Hanji’s not easily embarrassed. But every time he approaches for an interaction that maybe she senses is outside their usual range… she starts babbling nonsense, gets twice as loud, then suddenly shuts up. Then they bicker. They’re like an old married couple and I’m always stuck in the middle, I need a breather.”
He finished what was left of his rum-spiked tea and collapsed onto the table, exasperated.
“I helped her pick bunches of lavender and dry them; she said she had a big project. But instead of examining them under the microscope, she pressed them into every book she could find and made twenty-five drawer sachets instead. Obviously, not for herself,” Moblit sat up. “Guess who helped her assemble and seal all twenty-five sachets?
“Taking a wild guess, I’d say it wasn’t Nifa, definitely not Abel, and I don’t suppose it was Keiji either.”
Moblit shot Zeke a grim look.
Mike let out a deep sigh. Unreal. The whole thing was insane—and yet perfectly consistent with everything he’d seen so far. Snarky remarks. Lingering glances, some well-hidden, some not. More snark. Thoughtful gestures, also masked with varying success. And still more snark. But he was hopeful. Hanji and Levi would figure it out. Sooner or later. Maybe they were already starting to.
He exchanged a knowing glance with Erwin and got to his feet. He stretched, his long limbs creaking in protest, then let out a theatrical yawn. Time to call it. He’d let this go on long enough.
“Well then, comrades,” he began calmly, “I’d say it’s time to pack it in.”
Mike was more than satisfied. At last, everyone was aware of the situation, he’d been proven right, and he was heading off with a mind full of fresh theories to obsess over.
He had to admit it - getting the others involved, throwing them off balance, had turned out to be a pretty solid move. When he’d lost it earlier, unable to put up with it any longer, he never thought he’d actually enjoy it.
He glanced at Moblit sprawled across the table and pursed his lips; maybe someone had it worse off than him after all.
Mike started to turn toward the exit but noticed the others staring at him. He shrugged.
“What?”
“Well?” Zeke said, crossing his arms. “You drag us into this mess, push Moblit to the brink, and that’s it?”
“If I may, I wasn’t the one who pushed Berner to the brink.”
“Come on! So that’s it?” Zeke stood too. “We just let them keep going like this?”
Mike furrowed his brows.
“What do you want to do? Lock them in a room and wait for them to realize something?” he laughed, pointing at the pantry door with a finger. “Probably wouldn’t happen anyway.”
“Then why did you tell us? If you didn’t want to step in…”
Mike flashed a full, smug grin.
“I just wanted to be right.”
“Come now, friends,” Erwin said, standing up and carrying a few teacups to the sink. “We were just having a little chat. I’d say it’s up to our dear Hanji and Levi to sort themselves out. Now we’re all a bit more aware, and we’ll be ready if they ever decide to talk to us or ask for help. Never hurts to have a plan, you know.”
“Oh, spare us at least here,” Zeke muttered. “Great. I hate you all. My life is forever changed. I’m going to lie down, stare at the ceiling, and picture the little prince being all romantic…”
“Wouldn’t kill you to feel an emotion, Zeke,” Nanaba shot back as they all made their way out of the kitchen.
Mike watched the others disappear but lingered a bit before leaving. He moved the dirty cups off the counter, put the chairs back properly at the table, extinguished the lanterns, then stepped outside.
But after a few steps in the hallway, he swore he heard the pantry door slam and once again that scent teasing his nose.