Work Text:
Love is suffocating, but not in the way one might think.
This complex emotion encapsulates the intense feeling of affection and the transcendence of key relationships in one’s life. Love can be a force that aches into your bones, consumes you whole, and ultimately overwhelms you. Like a storm that encases a rocky cliffside, love can be like the howling winds that force you to move, the raging oceans that would drown you in their depths, and leave you breathless each time, wanting more. Love can be beautiful, however, it can be a heady mix of danger and recklessness. This emotion triggers the question, where do your loyalty, beliefs, identity, and values lie when love comes knocking at your door? As suffocating as love can be, love can transform you in the face of danger and be a force that can navigate your life.
Jayce has come to know that feeling exceptionally well and would do nothing to change it. He watches Mel as she moves around gathering different documents for the meeting with the council. His steps are mostly quiet but loud enough to allow her to know of his presence. He has learned the hard way of unintentionally sneaking up on her and vowed to never make her feel that way again.
“Do you remember the day our lives changed?” Jayce whispers into Mel’s ear as he hugs her from behind.
“Vividly,” Mel grips his arms tighter as the memories plague her mind at once. She responds again, voice soft, “Jayce scared me that day, but I think the aftermath brought us closer. We learned a few things about each other during that time.”
The perception of touch and temperature returns simultaneously as Jayce opens his eyes. His body lies on the hot, polished stone of the council room. Taking a slow, easy breath, the air succeeds in going down his constricted throat and into his heaving lungs. Jayce’s tongue swipes across his chapped lips, and he could feel the crackle beneath his tongue. A breath caught in his throat as he felt the movement of weight that was on top of him. A whimper escapes from his parched throat as he sits up, and there’s a stinging in his eyes that won’t go away. Jayce’s vision darkens around the edges as he takes in the scenery around him. The once pristine, elegant, and opulent council room became the site of ruin. The walls and floors are marred with soot and black streaks. The floors are cracked, and some areas are largely separated from each other. The infrastructure of the council room is creaking and groaning; the metal is straining to keep the building together. There’s a gaping hole in the ceiling to view the night sky, its beauty obstructed by the flicker of flames and the thick smoke. Debris constantly falls around them as the room falls apart by the minute. The decorations, tables, and chairs are tarnished beyond recognition. Flames flicker in areas, and smoke plagues the air of the room. The large windows are now exposed, and strong winds keep the fire alive. There’s a ringing in his ears as he hears the muffled screams of the other council members. The crunch of glass can be heard as feet run across the room in panic. A pained cry leaves a person’s lips, which Jayce fears will haunt him for months. A thought crosses his mind that makes him panic, and everything narrows down to:
Mel.
Mel?
Where is my Mel, where is-
He finally realized that the weight he felt moving earlier was, in fact, Mel. Even subconsciously, his body holds her with care and love. Forgetting the pain that ached in his body, he moved to bring her closer to check on her. His hand caresses her cheek as he calls her name over and over.
“Mel.” The desperate call of her name lingers in the air as he holds her close. Mel slowly responds to his calls and looks up at him with blurry vision.
Jayce's eyes dilate in horror at Mel's slow reaction to him and the possibility that the explosion's force has injured her. He breathes her in, his eyes tunnel vision on her alone. However, Mel's eyes dilate in happiness as she sees her love alive after the explosion. Jayce picks her up gently; his large hands wrap around her arms as he feels the warm golden tattoos. He checks over her in a panic but lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding once seeing she’s fine from her tiny nod. He looks back at the state of the room; he sees Sky tending to Viktor, and a small smile graces his lips at Viktor being checked on. All that adrenaline from before escapes him, and the pain comes back in full force. Mel grabs onto him as his legs collapse beneath him. His chest feels so tight and the world around him spins. He could hear Mel’s panicked screams and see the worry in her eyes as he ungracefully crumbled. If only he could take that look off of her face, it hurt more to cause such an expression than the pain in his chest.
“I thought I lost you.” A shaky exhale escapes Mel’s lips, and her eyes glisten as the memories replay in her mind. She looks at where the bruise used to be on his chest.
Jayce picks her up without a word, the warmth radiating off his body in his strong arms encasing Mel like a blanket. He lays them both down on the couch. He has realized that when she is overwhelmed to a certain degree concerning emotions, she needs to feel physically smothered by him. He’s learned in the past that too big of a space or distance could cause her to feel as if she’s alone with an invisible, oppressive presence. He cradles Mel’s body close to him, kissing her forehead softly and whispering soft words that allow Mel to sink into him. Mel stays close to him, soaking up the warmth and his presence. Jayce loves that Mel feels comfortable letting down her guard and being vulnerable around him. He understands the amount of trust she has for him including the safety he provides to make her comfortable. He remembers the first time this happened.
Mel had been by Jayce’s side for the entirety of his stay in the hospital when she could. Her heart pounded in nervousness even though she knew Jayce would pull through. During the first days, Mel fidgeted with her fingers as she listened to Sky converse with her about the different flowers that work as aromatherapy and the small messages from Viktor that she relayed to them. Ximena would gently grab Mel’s hands and hold them to comfort her silently when she would visit. Mel appreciated Sky’s presence and the rambles that filled the silence and Ximena’s motherly presence. Jayce’s mom provided Mel with home-cooked meals and oftentimes silent comfort.
In the past days of Mel taking care of Jayce at his place, she realized that oftentimes Jayce seems to have a small problem with receiving help and an I can do it myself attitude. Even now, in his polite stubbornness, he tries to do things independently. She’s had to find alternative ways to get him to rest, to persuade him to not help with cooking, and to allow her to change the patches on his chest periodically. Mel realized that she found his stubborn, pouty expression at receiving help awfully endearing and frustrating. There was a moment of pure stubbornness when Jayce tried to sneak into the kitchen to cook for himself and Mel; only to find Mel on the couch eyeing him down with a stern expression. Mel came up with a task for him while she cooked due to his persistence on trying to do things himself (the task he was assigned was dumping the sauces and vegetables into the pot). Mel created different tasks for him, so he obtains the illusion of partially doing things himself. However, Jayce still had his moments, but he’s been more receptive to the help given by Mel due to noticing how she feels better after helping him.
For instance, Jayce’s home was rather quiet that day except for the boiling of the Caldo de Oso soup that Mel had learned from Ximena and the occasional rumble of thunder. The smell of the earth invaded the home through the open balcony doors as the rain poured down heavily in Piltover. Mel could hear rustling and a pained grunt coming from his room. She smoothly walks over with quiet footsteps to stand in the doorway. A sharp intake of breath escapes from his lips when he moves too harshly to put on soothing balm on his chest. Mel looks at the faint purplish bruise surrounding a small part of his chest with a crestfallen expression. Jayce looks up towards the mirror and finds Mel standing in the doorway looking at the bruise.
He’s seen that expression on her before when she thinks he isn’t looking. Jayce knows she feels guilty for something she had no control over. In fact, even the minimal power she displayed that day saved Viktor's life and his. Both came out with injuries here and there on their bodies, but those injuries don’t compare to the ones that the rest of the council sustained. He watches as Mel’s eyes trace the outline of the bruise, possibly committing it to memory as she's done before. Her stance was riddled with misplaced guilt and stormy eyes. Mel grabs his medicinal patches and starts tending to the bruise herself. Jayce allows her, knowing that she needs this more than he does. Her fingers move gently as she applies more aloe vera soothing balm and place the patches appropriately. He has come around to accepting her help and tending to his wound. The love he feels when she tends to him overrides the thoughts of not accepting her help. A part of him has learned to receive help due to Mel and now he wants to help her.
“Mel.” Jayce softly calls her name.
Finally, her eyes slowly trek up from the bruise to his shoulder and then his eyes. He decides that now would be the time to address the elephant in the room.
“I’m fine, thanks to you. If it weren’t for you, then we’d be in a situation much worse,” Jayce says softly. “Viktor has made slow progress, but he's walking with his cane again. You heard him yourself; he’s grateful. Unknowingly, you did everything you could to protect all three of us.”
At that moment, he could see the shift in Mel’s expression as her mouth opened and closed in response.
“I…I couldn’t protect you. I came out unscathed, and you—” Each whispered word tumbled out of her mouth, conveying the turbulent emotions that she kept hidden. Jayce eyes her for a moment, having never seen her this vulnerable before, and his body shifts to directly face her. She is overwhelmed by emotion; her tears cannot be suppressed no matter how hard she strives. Tears stream down her face, a stutter here and there when she tries to speak again. The distance between her and Jayce becomes too much for her, the weight of her emotions is too much for her. Jayce notices her inching closer but stops from the sobs wracking her small frame. Without considering his chest injury, he strides over in three large steps to hold her. He could feel her body shaking from the overwhelming emotions, the slight feeling of snot getting on his skin, but he continued to console her. Mel starts to move away when she feels him flinch slightly when she brushes up against his bruise, but his hold on her becomes tighter. He let her have her moment and pour out the negativity that plagued her mind. Mel never felt so free until this moment because finally someone is holding Mel in her most vulnerable time. A breakdown that was long coming.
“You did protect me Mel, don’t fault yourself on something even you had no control over. Your power is new to you as well. Give yourself grace.” Jayce whispers to her. “I’m only bruised.”
After the moment of comfort, he leads them to the dining area to eat the meal Mel cooked earlier. In the midst of eating, Jayce start to tell her the embarrassing stories of his childhood to cheer her up. In his book he accomplished his goal, if the beaming smile and soft giggles are anything to go by. That was the most healing for Jayce outside of the physical wound and it seemed like Mel healed a part of herself as well. The storm is over for now, metaphorically and literally. The sun peeks through the clouds to show the new beginnings and pushing past the storm.
“Now look at you, absolutely luminous.” Jayce traces the golden tattoos that glow on Mel’s arms as they still lie on the couch. “I love you, Mel.”
Over the years, they both come to learn that love can heal the little cracks that are often overlooked. It’s patient and often silent in the way both of them interact with each other. Love can be in the silent actions, the whispered words to soothe, and gaze that tells all. Looking back on that particular memory, their love allowed them to be vulnerable and create a safe place in each other. There’s no need to perform when they’re in one another’s presence, vulnerability and their honest selves outweighs the appearance of being strong.
“I love you too, my love.” Mel says with a smile that shines brighter than the room itself.