Archive of Our Own

The Flight 180 survivors’ reunion had slowly become something they had all started to look forward to. It was a way for them every four years to celebrate life and to silently pay tribute to the ones who hadn’t made it from the tragedy.

This year's reunion was the third one to have been held. And in the small rental party room, Alex could already see a few familiar faces he hadn't seen in a little while from his table like Billy, Tod and his brother. Throughout the years everyone had mostly moved out of the state of New York as a way to finally move on from the flight. Not Alex though. Even when Clear, a few years ago, tried to convince him to move in with her and be her roommate, he’d refused. He just couldn't. For some reason every time he thought about moving, something in him would stop him.

Anyway, he continued to look out into the crowd. Trying to find that one specific person but no luck.

Of course not.

And he knew why. Hell, they all did.

They’d all seen the signs during the last reunion. How his eyes were dulled not focusing on anything, how his frame had withered into something sharp and tired, how the alpha’s once cedarwood and leather scent was washed out by the smell of whiskey. Alphas like Carter weren’t supposed to fall apart, but Death didn't care. And far as Alex could tell Carter…. Carter had always been glass cracking at the edges, and that plane.

Well, it had completely shattered that cracked glass.

While everyone else had found healthy ways to channel their grief through like, Clear with her art, or hell even Valerie writing a whole fucking memoir about it.

Carter hadn't. He had only just begun to unravel, piece by piece.

And not seeing him here was starting to become the last straw for Alex.

All he could do was look at the empty spaces. Empty spaces, Carter could (and should) be taking up. It made his chest feel like it was caving into itself, it made-

“ALEX!”

He jumped a little in his seat, looking up to see…. Terry?

She rolled her eyes at him while saying, “Do you mind?”

Alex looked around confused. “.....What?”

She sighed, clearly unimpressed with him. “Your pheromones, everyone here can smell you. They're all just too polite to say anything, not me though. So can you dial it down? I don’t know what’s got you upset, but this is not the place for it. We’re all supposed to be celebrating life, remember?"

"Oh, sorry, I'll stop!" he said quickly, cheeks red from embarrassment at the fact he hadn't realized he was doing that.

"Good, now I can tell you the second reason I came over here. Tod is in the corner dying to talk to you, but his wife is already talking to someone. Since she’s pregnant, he doesn’t want to leave her side.” She leaned against the table, inspecting her nails. ”Honestly, I don’t understand the overprotectiveness, but I’m sure, you being an Omega and all, you get it more than I do as a beta. Anyway, come on."

She had stopped looking at her nails at that point and went to grab his arm before he pulled it away. Asking her his own question. “Do you know where Carter is?”

She had Immediately stopped reaching for him when she heard that. “No, why would I know? Not like I'm his girlfriend anymore, you know that.”

“Well, yeah… I just thought maybe y’all would still be friends.”

“We're not. And if you really want to know where I think he is… then I’d guess he’s probably somewhere drunk,” she said, shrugging her shoulders and continuing. “But you really shouldn’t worry about him, okay? I tried getting him help, but at the end of the day, he’s a grown man. If he wants to live his life through a bottle, then so be it.”
With that, she grabbed his arm and dragged him off to talk to Tod.

While he tried to listen to Tod ramble on, he couldn’t stop thinking about Carter and how worried he was about him. Blame it on his omega instincts or whatever, but the fact was that man was stuck in his mind.

And because of that he had barely spoken. Barely touched his food. He just watched the others laugh too loud, hug too long, and generally pretend like there wasn’t a whole person missing from the group. How could they just sit there and not care that Carter wasn't here?

Later that night, when he stepped into his apartment, he made a decision.

Find Carter.

Luckly, it had only taken Alex a few days to track the man down, thanks to the help of one of Carter's old football friends.

And so that's how he found himself in front of an rundown apartment building in Queens with rusted fire escapes and a- wait, is that a drug dealer?!

With that he hurriedly ran into the building. He climbed the stairs two at a time, heart thundering in his chest. The more he went deeper into the apartment building, the more his instincts kicked in, yelling at him to turn around and leave. But Alex was determined. When he had finally reached the numbered door he’d been told was the brown head’s, he began to knock.

Once. Twice. Then he just started pounding.

After a while the door creaked open slowly, the smell of stale booze hitting him as Carter stood there. He was in a pair of staind sweatpants, had dark circles like bruises under his eyes and a beard that was uneven.

“Browning? Why the hell are you here?” Carter croaked, voice hoarse from disuse.

Alex stared at him, eyes wide, before he blinked remembering why he was there.

“Because I’m worried, Carter,” he said, stepping inside without asking. “You’re killing yourself.”

Carter had leaned against the doorframe, legs crossed. “Clearly not fast enough,” he muttered.

Alex turned on him, his voice stern. “You think this is what they died for? So you could waste your second chance at the bottom of a bottle? Weren’t you the one who told me that all you owed to these people was to live your life to the fullest? Is this what the fullest is to you? I mean, if you were to ask me, I’d say you’re living a pretty sad life, definitely not the fullest.”

That’s when it happened.

Carter collapsed. He sank to the floor, shoulders shaking, finally letting the dam break. Ugly, raw sobs ripped from his throat as he covered his face with both hands.

“Don't you fucking think I already know that, Browning?!” he yelled. “I’ve tried getting help, but every time I think I’m getting better, something happens. I wake up, and all I can think about is how none of this was supposed to happen. I was supposed to die on that fucking plane!” Alex had immediately knelt in front of him, his own tears threatening to fall by omega instinct.

“I know it’s hard. I know you feel like you’re alone. But you’re not. I'm here aren't I?”

Carter looked up at him, hands falling off his face. “Why do you even care?”

“Because I just do,” Alex whispered. “Because even when you pissed me off, I still remember you're just a person too with problems. And most importantly because I can’t just know you’re out here destroying yourself and pretend it’s not happening.”

It stayed silent for a minute between them.

Then Alex reached out and rested his hand on the taller’s back, steady and sure.

“You should come stay with me. I live in Brooklyn now. It's quiet. I work from home. I can be your support system. We could figure this out together.”

Carter blinked, thinking it over until eventually, slowly, shakily, he nodded.

“Okay,” he whispered. “Okay.”

The alpha moved in a week later.

He didn’t bring much, just a battered duffel bag slung over his shoulder. It had a pair of boots, and a cardboard box filled with yellowed envelopes, papers with phone numbers and photos he hadn’t dared open in years.He hadn't even knocked yet before Alex had opened the door, wordlessly stepping aside to let him in. The blonde nodded once at him, calm and sure, and led Carter to the spare bedroom.

“I put clean sheets on the bed,” Alex told him. “There’s water on the nightstand. Toothbrush too… if you need it.”

Carter looked around the small room. The walls were a cream color, the bedding blue, and the window was cracked just slightly open to let in some air. He nodded mutely at Alex and sat on the edge of the mattress when he heard the bedroom door shut behind him.

For the first few days, their conversations were clipped and quick. Carter mostly kept to himself, rarely lifting his eyes. Always mumbled thanks when the blonde would make him food or fix his bed, when he was out doing something.

Alex never hovered. He kept the apartment calm and clean, cooked simple meals, made coffee for both of them in the mornings, and always, always, invited Carter to come with him whenever he was going to go out. And if the alpha said no, Alex respected it and went on with his day.He gave him space, but not distance.

Every night, Carter would hear the soft mumblings of Alex in the living room complaining about whatever movie he was watching, the occasional clink of dishes being washed, or the quiet music the omega would play to help him sleep. It was... grounding.

And so, slowly, Carter began to thaw.

He started therapy having it for twice a week with a local councilor, Alex had said Clear recommended. Then came the AA meetings, three times a week. On the days he felt too weak to go alone, Alex drove him. The shorter one would always wait outside in the car with a book to pass time with. And when it was time for them to go home, Alex would fill the silence by talking about anything that had caught his eye that day.

After a while, the brown head began showering regularly, shaving his face, eating full meals (even if he didn’t feel like it), and his original scent started to come back. One Saturday, without being asked, he helped Alex reorganize the storage closet, moving boxes and untangling wires, his arms brushing Alex’s more than once.

They were building something. A rhythm.

But it wasn’t just routine that changed.

One night, they sat on the couch with a movie playing in the background. Something indie drama Alex had picked,(to be honest Carter thinks he just likes yapping and only chose that so he could do just that. Not that he minds that though) stupid and forgettable. But after the first hour, the blonde stopped complaining about the movie. He slowly leaned to the side, his body heavy with sleep and his eyes starting to become too heavy to keep open. His head tilted until it brushed the alpha’s shoulder.

Said alpha froze, heartbeat stuttering. He didn’t move. Didn’t breathe too loudly.

The warmth of Alex’s presence sank into him like a slow burn. He sat there for the full movie, letting his arm rest lightly against Alex’s, memorizing the soft pattern of his breathing.

But not every day was a good one.

One night around 3 a.m., a crash had sounded, followed by Carter’s gasping cries from his room. That night Alex had jumped out of bed before he even registered it, running to the others room.
He found Carter kneeling on the floor beside his bed with broken glass on the other side of the room, shaking, drenched in sweat. His eyes were wild, panicked, haunted.

Alex dropped to his knees beside him. “Hey. Hey, you’re okay. You’re safe. You’re here with me.”

Carter stared at him like he wasn’t sure if it was real. Alex gently reached out and took his hands. They trembled violently in his grip.

“I’m here. You’re not alone.” Alex whispered, dragging him in for a hug.

He leaned his head into Alex’s shoulder and just sobbed. The blonde had held him close, murmuring soft nothings he didn’t even remember saying, instinct driving every motion.

Their scents mingled, Carter’s cedarwood and leather; Alex’s crisp rain and vanilla. It settled something between them.

A few nights after that, Carter had told Alex something he hadn't ever admitted to anyone.

“I don’t know who I am without the anger,” he confessed quietly, hands clenched in his lap. “Without the drinking... I don’t even know what’s left.”
Alex leaned in, forehead to forehead with the man.

“You’re someone I care about,” he said softly. “Isn't that enough for now?”

Carter had looked at him.

Then, slowly he kissed him.

Alex’s breath caught, but he didn’t pull away.

He kissed back, gentle.

That night, they didn’t sleep in two different rooms. They were tucked beneath the same blanket, fingers entwined.

From then on, the shift was quick.

Carter would stand behind him, arm wrapped around his waist, humming softly as the shorter one cooked. And Alex would find himself resting his head on Carter’s thigh while they watched TV. They joked more, smiled longer, and lingered a little too long before parting ways.

And for the first time since the plane crash, the brown head started to believe in the future.

Then a few months later of them being together, Alex started feeling… off.

He was tired all the time, like ALL the time. It would crept under his skin and made even small things feel enormous. The once simple task of climbing up the stairs to his apartment had left him breathless. His appetite was strange too. Some of the foods he used to like just didn't taste right anymore.

Then a few weeks later, the nausea began.

It wasn’t a problem at first, just something subtle, like a twist in his gut at odd times. But it became harder to ignore like when just the smell of eggs cooking would send him dry-heaving into the kitchen sink. So violently that Carter had to throw the pan out of the apartment entirely.

He blamed stress.

But then there was the other thing.

His scent. It was different.
Creamier?

Subtle, but noticeable to someone who paid attention and Carter did. (Though the blonde wasn’t completely sure he realized it himself.) Sometimes, Carter would lean closer to him whenever, slightly before he would lean back way again like he was catching himself doing something he shouldn't.
Alex noticed every time. And it made his stomach twist.

Then one night, while on the phone with Clear, she asked the question that made everything stop.

He had been laying out on the couch, wearing one of Carter’s oversized jackets, sipping ginger tea (something he hadn’t even realized he liked until recently). He was updating her on Carter’s progress, and then had updated her on the random things of his life (Clear just be letting the boy yap, lol) when suddenly Clear’s tone shifted.

“You sound tired.”

“Oh, I am,” Alex sighed. “I think it’s just everything catching up with me.”

There was a long pause on the line. Then:

“Alex… did you share your heat with him?”

He blinked, his face going red. “Uh…what- no!”

Clear was quiet for a second until.

“I think you should take a test.”

He didn’t answer right away. The room suddenly felt very still. He heard the refrigerator hum in the kitchen. He looked over to the window where an old cat had just jumped onto it.

“Okay,” he said quietly.

The pharmacy test sat on the sink counter the next morning. Alex stared at it like it might throw a brick at him. Carter was out shopping for them, so Alex had the apartment to himself.

He followed the directions with trembling hands.

Minutes passed.

He sat on the closed toilet lid, eyes locked on the little white plastic strip like it held the future (it did).

Then two lines’: Positive

He picked it up, his fingers trembling. The plastic test was beginning to feel too heavy to hold.
Slowly, he let his free hand drift toward his stomach. His touch was tentative, like he could feel something if he just waited long enough. Other than a small bump, there was nothing. Just a quiet, aching awareness deep inside him, and the heavy, choking swell of emotion rising like a tide.

A baby. His baby.

….Carter’s baby.

A sharp breath made its way out of him. Tears sprang to his eyes, harsh and unforgiving. He curled forward slightly, resting his elbows on his knees, the stick dangling loosely between his fingers as his vision blurred. This couldn’t be real. It shouldn’t be real. He’d been careful. They were new to this thing between them. New to Carter being stable, being present.

Even though most of his cracks had been fixed, that didn’t mean they all were. There were still a few and Alex was terrified to step on them. Some mornings Carter would shake so hard he couldn’t hold his coffee mug. Some nights, he’d sit by the window long after midnight, chewing on his nails, and eyes looking into the distance.

And now… this?

Alex’s mind spiraled through a thousand fears in one breath.

What if Carter didn’t want it? (Wait, did he even want it himself?)

Alex had watched Carter crawl back from the edge with trembling fingers. Would this (he) be the thing that sent him back?

What if Alex chose to keep it? Would Carter leave him, making him have to do this whole parenting thing alone?

Just the thought of that had cut deep, jagged and cold. He closed his eyes, the test clattering gently to the floor as that hand flew to his hair. His breath stuttered. His other hand, that had already been on his abdomen, pressed harder as if he could somehow stop what had already begun growing inside him three months ago.

Alex had come to need Carter.

Not in a reckless, possessive way.

It’s just that he’s grown used to having someone who actually listens to his early morning mumbling, or how Carter would help him fix something that, on his own, would take all day. He’s used to the way Carter always made sure he was comfortable and asleep before going to bed himself. The way he’d pause, lingering in the doorway, just to make sure Alex was already in their room before turning off the hall light.

Alex needed him.

And now, something about that need felt terrifying. Because this could tear them apart.

He curled even further forward than he already was, wrapping his arms around his knees and trying to steady his breathing.

A knock echoed through the apartment breaking the blonde out of his panic, later followed by the door opening. Then Carter’s muffled voice calling out.

“Hey, I'm back! Oh, and I got the tea you asked for.”

He picked himself up, wiped at his face quickly, snatched the test off the floor, and shoved it into the back of the drawer beneath the sink. He stared at his reflection in the mirror. Pale. Wide-eyed. Not even close to calm. But regardless, he opened the door.

Carter stood in the hallway. “You okay?”

Alex wanted to tell him everything.

He wanted to press his face to Carter’s chest and whisper I’m scared, and we’re going to be parents, and I hope to God you don’t leave me. But what he did instead was nod to the brown head as he walked into another room.

A few weeks later, Carter found himself in the bathroom doing his nightly routine, humming under his breath as he turned on the sink to brush his teeth. However the mirror was slightly foggy from Alex’s earlier shower. So he pulled the drawer under the sink open to grab a rag to wipe it off, when something in the very back caught his eye.

He frowned and reached in.

His fingers curled around it, lifting it slowly into the light.

Two pink lines. Clear as day.

His breath caught. The toothbrush fell into the sink with a soft clink, water still running.

Behind him, Alex stood frozen in the doorway. He had wanted to throw it away earlier, but couldn’t. Something in him wanted to hold on to it a little longer.

Carter stared at the test in his hand.

Finally, his voice came rough. “…Is this real?”

Alex’s heart pounded in his chest. His throat tightened.

“Yeah,” he said, barely above a whisper.

Carter turned, test still in hand, to the blonde.

“I didn’t mean to keep it from you. I just… I didn’t know how to tell you.”

Alex's arms crossed over his middle, instinctively.

“I’m sorry.”

Carter didn’t speak. His gaze flicked back to the test, then up to the other again.

“I wasn’t sure how you’d feel,” the shorter continued, his voice quiet. “After everything. After what you’ve been through. I thought maybe you’d think it was a mistake or… that I was ruining your life.”

The silence stretched.

Alex’s stomach churned. He felt nauseous with nerves. “But I want it,” he added, stepping forward. “I want them. I know it’s early and believe me, I understand if you would want to leave me because of this. I wouldn’t judge you if you did-”

Carter put the test down gently onto the sink’s counter.

He reached for Alex’s hand, feeling the others fingers trembling slightly.

“Hey,” he said softly. “Stop. Just for a second.”

The blonde had shut up at that.

“I’m not mad,” Carter said, his voice getting softer as he continued. “I’m… just shocked. But not mad. Not even close.”

“You’re really okay with this?” Alex asked, voice barely steady.

Carter took a step forward, then another, until they were standing toe-to-toe in the cramped bathroom.

“I never thought I’d have a future,” Carter whispered. “Not after that crash. Not after Terry left me. Not after my own parents left me. And I sure as hell never thought I’d have you. But I do and now you're telling me there's a chance I could get even more? Do you really think I'd skip out on that?.”

He squeezed the others hand in his.

“I want this. I want them. I want you.”

Alex’s breath hitched, eyes burning.

“I’m not going anywhere,” Carter continued. “We’ll figure it out together.”

For a second, Alex couldn’t speak.

Then he gave a soft, broken cry and leaned forward, forehead resting against Carter’s chest, tears dampening his shirt.

Carter wrapped his arms around him.

They stood like that, in the small bathroom with the sink still running.

A few months later, when Alex was around seven months pregnant, he and Carter decided they wanted to get married. But first, phone calls!

The blonde had convinced the other to call his parents and tell them everything, even though he was clearly reluctant. (But after the phone call, Alex could now see why Carter didn’t want to.) They tried to convince the taller not to go through with it just because of Alex's ‘condition’. Alex tried to understand their perspective. Yes, their relationship had moved quickly. But ‘condition’? He didn’t have cancer, for God’s sake!

Luckly his own parents were excited. They will admit at first, they were a little uneasy when their omega son said he was going to let an alpha stay with him. But once Alex told them how much the brown haired boy was improving, and after they had met Carter in person, they began to feel more at ease with him being around their son. Honestly, they had seen this coming from a mile away. Even back when the blonde was in high school, he used to complain about Carter all the time. So, yeah they saw it coming.

And so, with Clear and the Shorter's parents as their witnesses, they got married. (YAY!) Almost two months later, they were in a hospital, welcoming their baby boy.

Which was… well, something, for sure.

"Oh my God, I don't understand how people willingly do this!" Alex exclaimed, clearly already fed up with the birthing process. "Do you remember all those conversations we had about giving him a sibling? Yeah, well, forget it!"

Carter walked over, massaging Alex’s shoulders. "Okay, Blue, just breathe. I don't think you're thinking straight."

"I'm sorry?!" Alex slapped his hands away. "First of all, if I hear one more person tell me to breathe, I'm just going to stop and asphyxiate on purpose. Second, you're right. I'm not thinking straight! But who could if they were in my situation? I mean, are you the one about to push something out of your body!?"

The blonde didn’t give him a chance to reply before continuing. "This is worse than the time I had to get you out of your old apartment. I thought nothing could top that. It smelled so bad! You smelled so bad!"

The taller had put his hands in the air at that while saying, “Whoa, didn’t know it was verbally attack Carter time.”

“Yeah, well, if you don’t shut the fuck up and listen to every complaint I’m going to make about this stupid ass process, then it’s going to be physically attack Carter time!”

Alex had given him a pointed look after saying that, as the other slowly walked out, giving the excuse that Clear was there and needed help finding the room.

But through it all, early the next morning, they were holding their baby boy.

Baron Scott Horton

And so that's how the blonde found himself at the fourth annual flight 180 survivors’ reunion adjusting Baron’s shirt, as the toddler squirmed slightly in his arms. ( I’m not exactly sure how old the kid is. I wasn't doing the math, I was just writing.) Upset at his husband for running late. He tried forgetting that as he shifted the boy’s weight to his other hip, glancing out at the crowd that was gathered. This year, Valerie had chose a quiet cabin on the edge of a pine forest.

He was sure everyone could already smell the difference in his scent and tell he wasn't alone before he even walked into the crowd. And he was right.

Everyone, Terry, Billy, Tod and their families had noticed the change, especially, the little pup with dark curls. They saw him clutching onto Alex’s side looking bored. Everyone saw the resemblance, he had Alex’s wide blue eyes, that uncertain, dreamy look. But he also had a fire behind it.

But before anyone could even ask him what had happened. Clear had run up to the blonde with a warm grin, pulled him into a hug, and then crouched down to smile at the boy.

“Baron!” she greeted, as if she’d known him forever. She had. “You’ve gotten so big.”

The kid smiled, happy to see her.

Alex nodded, with a smile of his own. “Yeah, he’s growing too fast.”

“Well, y’all both look good,” she said, ruffling the pup’s hair as he laughed, swatting at her hands.

And then-

The cabin door opened with an old familiar scent to them all.

Carter.

Terry was the first one to turn around. She was surprised to have been able to smell that scent, since she remembered it being washed away by the smell of whiskey years ago. (And she wasn't the only one) They were all shocked to see the cocky smile back on the Alpha’s face. He was looking much better than the last time they had all seen him. He wore a leather jacket, with black boots and his hair comb to the side. He looked around, greeted a few people with nods.

Then he locked eyes on Alex.

He began to walk quickly toward the other, and when he reached him, the brown haired man had bent down and given the blond a short kiss.

The room went silent as people began to look harder than they were before, but trying not to make it obvious, except Billy (He was mortified lol).

Then they saw the way the little boy had begun to perk up at the sight of Carter. Beginning to tug on Alex’s sleeve, arms stretched out towards the other.

And without hesitation, Alex passed the boy into Carter’s arms. Carter took him with practiced ease, kissed the top of the boy’s curls with a muttered, 'Hey, bud,' and let the child rest his head on his shoulder after an enthusiastic squeak of 'Dad!'.

Everybody was stunned just thinking ‘what the hell did I/we miss?’

Because last they all remembered (besides Carter's own problems), Alex and the taller had barely liked each other. Even after the crash, they had still bickered. No one had seen this coming.

Anyway, Alex casually began leaning on Carter as the man explained why he was late. He was acting like he wasn’t the center of attention, like he and Carter hadn’t just casually dropped the biggest bombshell on all of them.

Clear gave them both an amusing look

Baron, unaware, played with Carter's jacket collar, happy to be with his two dads again.