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Lights off, and rolling on a low purr, a black van pulled into the shadowy side of the circular driveway. A lavish fountain sparkled in the dark night and a handful of fancy guiding lights decorating the entire ring.
More importantly, the lights shown on two other vehicles. A long, classical piece in garish yellow beside a gorgeous motorcycle. Both sparkled boisterously in the light as though the vehicles alone felt more beautiful than the lavish mansion before them.
He hated them.
If there was something Marcus truly believed in the world was that he was entitled to everything he wanted. There was nothing more that he hated than the word “no” and countless graves stood silent testament to that. Both vehicles ahead of him were part of the worst no he had received in his life.
It had been months of attempts: buying drinks, lavish gifts, boisterous shows of strength and power, but still she lay beyond his grasp. Those sparkling brown eyes had haunted him until he had practically gone mad with greed and desire. The final straw had come when one of his best informants entered with some very infuriating information.
Marcus owned a very well feared, though relatively small ex-military merc force in the underground. They were reliable and strong enough for the local head gangs to leave them be or hire them from time to time. Headhunts, heists, arms dealing, they had their hands in many things. Their old connections with military and underground weapons dealers made them even more helpful and it meant they had the fear and respect enough to live in hedonistic luxury.
And so when Marcus heard that Fujiko Mine was seen with some foppish, lanky fool, he howled, swept everything off his desk in one shot, and punched a hole in his wall. The guards in the room watched in silence. They were both hardened enough and used enough to their boss’s tempers that this wasn’t anything too new. But his obsession had definitely left them on edge. Then again, no woman had ever been allowed to say no to Marcus before.
Sliding out of the door with a frustrated puff of air, Marcus waited for his team to exit with him. Apparently the doomed couple was meeting discreetly in a private mansion that had some sort of extravagant collection of relics and ancient architecture. Nothing he gave any shit of, but he bet he knew how this was. Some rich asshole’s son, still wet behind the ears, but dressed nice and with enough money to win over anyone, had rented out the whole place for her tonight.
Pathetic. From everything he had heard this man was just sheer disgusting. A womanizer, sometimes foppish, sometimes girly, lanky and weak of limb. Too loud, loved to show off and make a show of everything. Something about it tickled a tiny feeling in the back of his head, but he was so furious that he didn’t care. He had heard enough. It was time for him to bust in and show this infuriating siren exactly what she deserved. A real man with money, power, strength, and dignity. Nothing this other jerk could offer her. He just needed to convince her a bit more…
After tonight, Fujiko Mine would be his.
Showing exceptional cohesion and stealth, the group was certainly not just some pathetically boisterous street gang. This was serious and they had full confidence in their skills and abilities. As far as they were concerned, this was a simple routine run. They’d get the target and their boss would be happy and it would be back to booze, drugs, and girls.
They had no idea how wrong they were.
While the four long range mercs grappled up to the outside balcony, the main crew took their time to scan the front door for cameras. The first one was easy enough to see as the one tech expert hacked into the systems. A quick scan noted no extra movement of the cameras. If there was still security left behind (which was very likely even if the place had been bought out) they were probably bored out of their minds and playing on their phones and only half watching. Hugging the edges of the walls, the ground crew found the front doors unlocked and cracked open. They slipped in like shadows into a dark entryway and waited a moment for their eyes to adjust.
Three other men flanked Marcus, one of them bringing up a small PDA and showing the map. There was a foyer, then a waiting hall straight ahead that led directly to the ballroom. This would be too easy. They barely even had to traverse the building to get to their target so long as they kept to the approximate right time. Up above, it was even easier with the massive balcony leading right into a small hallway that opened up into the inside mezzanine of the ball room.
Marcus grinned and after a brief radio go ahead, they all continued to the ballroom.
—---
To say the ballroom was grand was an understatement. Craning one’s neck up, one could see a single tile on the ceiling alone held dizzying amounts of details, ultimately showing intricate patterns surrounding mosaics of mythical creatures racing gracefully across the sky.
Massive windows from floor to near ceiling, almost two whole floors were draped with curtains of the richest red and purple velveteen cloth. Even the bars that held them in place were coated in bright golds, with beautiful animal heads on each end. Decorative sconces echoed the curtain bars while the entirety of the room was graced with the most beautiful of flower basins, ornate flower pots, and even massive draping floral garlands from the upper balconies. While only a single bright spotlight was aimed in the center of the beautiful wooden dance floor, it was still possible to make out the small twinkles of crystal glasses and pitchers as well as the beautiful chandeliers. It looked almost like a starry night.
Unlike the mercenaries, none of this beauty was lost upon the couple in the dead center of the spotlight. Two women danced there, one in a fluttering red dress, with curly golden hair and the other with a long flowing dress of glittering silken green.
“Well, Fujicakes?” the golden haired girl asked. While the mercs were far enough away that it didn’t echo that hard, there was an unmistakable masculine tone to her voice. Some of them snorted, others just stared. The tech guy rubbed his temples and Marcus gagged silently.
‘Digusting’ Marcus thought, feeling red tinge his vision as his internal rage built. On one hand he was ready to throw up all the slurs he’d heard in his life in insult. It’s not that he particularly cared so long as they left him the fuck alone (which he always made plenty clear), but to think that
Fujiko Mine
would be stolen from him by this absolutely garrulous, irresponsible, pathetic excuse for a man made him want to bull charge him across the room and crush his neck in one hand alone and prove to Fujiko that he could protect her and lavish her with so much more!
Creeping a little forward, he gestured silently and all of his ground forces took their places by flanking out beside the pillars in the dark. He trusted the snipers above had already taken their places out of pure habit and watched for a moment.
There wasn’t even any music, which gave Marcus another small tinge in the back of his mind. He
should
have asked why, if this rich prick had rented this whole place for the most gorgeous lady in the world, why wouldn’t he have all the lights on, music, food, and other lavish celebrations to
really
show off his prowess. But all he could see is that gorgeous flow of brown hair, like the bounding of a deer…that sparkling forest green dress that hugged her body in all of the right ways. She was the doe and he was her buck. And he was ready to fight for it.
—---
“
Oh Lupin,
” Fujiko purred, both bringing a flush to Miss Marie’s cheeks and sending his heart into low orbit. “I do believe we’re not alone.”
“Of course not!” Lupin cajoled back, obscurely. He gave an obvious wink and Fujiko only tittered in laughter.
“You bring me no gifts but danger? How rude!” She flicked a finger to his nose and he yelped dramatically. “You promised me that rare bust!”
Fujiko pouted furiously and turned away in a tiny huff, but still just close enough for Miss Marie to lace a hand into hers.
“Oh but, my dear, it’s already packed and ready to go.”
“Oh! You did keep your promise!” Fujiko played up with a kicked up foot and leaned back into the curly blonde lady.
(Somewhere off, two small sighs drifted into the darkness of the ballroom, heard by no one.)
Marcus nearly imploded.
The merc lead had heard enough. He gave the quick click single on their radios that could barely be heard and they all moved as one.
It felt like any other ridiculously easy job. Two people? One crossdressing rich boy and one gorgeous, but
obviously
defenseless gal. Even if she had a gun or some mace, it wasn’t much they could do with body armour and—
Four flashes in quick succession caught all of the merc’s eyes from the pure black darkness from the far side balcony. By the time the sound hit them, there were screams from the balcony above the ground crew which two bodies dropped with a painful thud. Their guns were broken even before impact, as was their wrists. They rolled in pain, but the crew was too well trained.
The tech flanked his ground crew, readying his own weapon, the men closing in together as one peppered the far balcony with blind suppressing fire to keep them down. Then, the shadows whipped out to meet them, a single flash of light and the rest of the ground crew was down on the ground; all weapons shattered, clothing shredded, and moaning in pain. A sleek figure with almond eyes and a flowing pale kimono eyed them for a moment before sheathing Zantetsuken.
Marcus’s brain was racing. He saw a pale flame of a cigarette tip and the briefest glint of a revolver barrel from far above. To his left, a fucking honest to god samurai stood patiently with his eyes closed and his sword sheathed. All around him, his men groaned, each one completely incapacitated and yet his experience noted: not dead.
Suddenly Marcus knew fear.
Shakingly, the merc boss looked up, watching as the golden-haired woman ripped at the crook of her chin and tore it all off, revealing a man in a rich blue jacket, black shirt, and blood red tie. His Walther P38 was pointed straight at him, Fujiko having pulled out her Browning M1910. They stood together with a gaze so hauntingly playful and dangerous that Marcus actually faltered.
There was the sound of two shots in tandem
….then silence.
—---
“LUPIIIIIIIIIINN!!!” Zenigata howled at the top of his lungs over his megaphone from the window of his patrol car while his team tried his best to keep up with him. Yata tried to hold back his inevitable ear damage as he floored their vehicle into the driveway and fishtailed right alongside the staircase.
But it was too late. With a metallic clank or two, the Lupin gang bounded over their cruiser like the flashiest, gregarious, and most dangerous herd of gazelle before leaping into their own vehicles and revving them up in seconds.
“I would love to hang out with you Pops, but I have a gift all tied up in there for you. I really think you ought to put them away, yeah? Toodles!”
Zenigata locked on to Lupin and was about to ignore him when Yata called out.
“Inspector! There are a whole bunch of men in there. It might be the Blackbird Gang!”
Gritting his teeth, Zenigata yanked himself away, trying to block out the airy laughter of the Lupin crew as they tore off. He could hear each one apart, all delighted. But they had technically helped him (each of the wanted crew alive despite their shock and injuries)…in their own bizarre way.
—-----
Thick into the night and late on the road, Fujiko rode up beside Lupin’s SSK as they rounded the corner of a mountain path and thanked him for the beautiful statue. All of the men gaped, and looked back at the package that now held a large rock from the estate entrance.
“Later Lupin, later boys!~”
Fujiko blew a kiss as she leapt off her bike with her prize and hang-glided out to a waiting chopper.
“Bu-but Fujicakes you promised a kiss for helping you with the treasure
AND
those bad guys!”
“Oh thank you so much Lupin, please just take a rain check, my lover!”
“LUPIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN” Both Jigen and Goemon snarled at once…
—--
The SSK bumped and swung around the road for a little while as Lupin “learned his lesson” until they all ended up in the hideout, passed out together on one tattered bed with coffee set to brew in the morning.
This was truly the good life.
May it never end.