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“He doesn’t seem off to you guys?”
Kon pulled Bart and Cassie into a little nook in the Titans Tower just after their team meeting ended. In the middle of said meeting, Robin had been called by Batman - some emergency in Gotham, as always. As Robin excused himself and left the room, Kon couldn’t help but let his gaze linger on a few worrying details he‘s picked up over the last couple of weeks. Now he wants to know if anyone else sees them, too.
“What do you mean?” Cassie asks.
Kon looks up and frowns, trying to figure out how to put his thoughts into words. How to explain that, yeah sure, of course Tims summer tan has faded but the pale hue that has taken its place makes him look washed out, sickly. Or that their friend has started fidgeting, fiddling with his hair or twisting his fingers into each other, a habit more befitting of Bart if anything. Or how much harder it seems for him to pay attention to their enemies, or their team meetings. Even if he can’t see his eyes behind his mask, Kon can tell that Tims vision grows blurry by how he shakes his head, forcing himself to focus again.
He doesn’t say all of that, though. Paying attention to people like that is way more charming when the bats do it. It might come across as creepy if he does it aswell. Even if he’s only this attuned to Tim. Maybe he shouldn’t be.
“He seems… unfocused to me. More tired, maybe?” is what he settles on after a bit. It doesn’t sound right. Tiredness doesn’t seem to describe how exhaustion has started clinging to his body, wrapping him tight, constricting him.
Bart raises an eyebrow. “He’s alway tired though, isn’t he?”
Cassie hums. “I haven’t noticed anything out of the ordinary either, but we should definitely ask if he’s alright if you think he’s not doing well.”
Kon shakes his head.
“No, no, let’s not - I can check on him myself. We shouldn’t make a big deal out of it, I'm probably just imagining things. Exaggerating, you know?” he sighs and both Bart and Cassie nod.
“Okay, if you think so,” Cassie speaks softly with a knowing look that Kon doesn’t quite understand.
“We’ll keep our eyes open for anything weird!” Bart adds and Kon smiles, though his worries have only eased a little as he murmurs a thank you to his friends.
——
Whatever’s going on in Gotham keeps Robin there for a while. Only after a week does he send word that he’s going to join them again. Kon reads the message over and grinds his teeth, unsure how to broach the subject of his unusual behaviour. He skips the usual stop at the coffee shop that Tim likes as he makes his way to the Titans Tower. Usually, he’d stop by and buy Tim a coffee that he would happily accept but now Kon isn’t so sure if that is a good idea.
He finds Tim standing in front of the briefing room, early as usual. He looks up as Kons steps announce his presence and smiles at him.
“Didn’t bring me my coffee today?” Tim jokes.
Kon fails to see the humor in the situation. He looks over and sees his hands shaking slightly.
“No. Feels like I'm fueling a bad habit.”
His smile drops a little. “What, you think I'm addicted to coffee or something?”
Kon shakes his head. “No, I think you aren’t sleeping like you should. You shouldn’t compensate for it with caffeine all the time.” He cringes at himself as he speaks. He’s usually so good at confrontations but this feels different, too gentle with no anger behind it. His words are laced with worry that he can’t keep buried and Tim, of course, notices the wavering in his voice.
“I mean, that comes with the territory, doesn’t it?” he shrugs. He steps closer, tilting his head to study Kons face. Sometimes Kon wonders if he should be wearing a mask as well, so he can’t be read as easily as he is right now. Though it’s not like Tim wouldn’t find a way to work around it.
“You sure you’re okay?” he asks, foolishly hoping that his expression isn’t betraying him to the extent that Tims exhaustion has been truly stressing him out.
“Are you?”
“Don’t deflect, it makes me not believe you.”
Tim frowns at him. “I'm alright, seriously. Now c‘mon, I wanna know what you guys have been up to without me.”
With that, he turns around and walks into the briefing room, a hand wrapped around Kons wrist, pulling him along.
Kon silently curses. This wasn't how he wanted the conversation to go. Tims responses felt almost rehearsed and certainly not truthful but he doesn’t want to push it, not with everyone here. He bites the inside of his cheek and lets it go, for now.
——
In hindsight, Kon should’ve pushed the issue way earlier.
Maybe that way, Tim wouldn’t be lying in the medical bay right now. Kon sits in front of the room, listening in on Cassie's distraught questioning. Bart sits next to him, head heavy and leaning against his shoulder.
Tim had gone down mid-mission. His assailants snuck up on him and he somehow didn’t notice, even though he always notices. Too late, too slow did he move and the barrage of blows served as a reminder that he was only human, after all.
“Man, you were totally right,” Bart mutters, ripping Kon out of the repeating scene playing in his head.
“About what?”
“Him not doing well. You totally called it and I didn’t even notice.”
Kon shakes his head. “Yeah, well, it’s no use. I tried to ask him about it and he just denied it.”
Bart brushes his hair out of his face, revealing a gash across his forehead that Kon hadn’t seen before. “Sounds like our Robin, alright.”
“Hey, shouldn’t you get that looked at?” Kon asks.
“Med bays occupied.” He nods to the door, the faint sounds of an argument bleeding through into the hallway.
Kon stands up anyway. “C’mon, that looks nasty. I don’t want it to get infected.”
Bart gets up as well and knocks on the door. Kon doesn’t wait for an answer and opens it, motioning Bart inside. The sight of Tim with blood crusted along his temple only deters him for a beat before he moves to get his supplies and starts patching up Bart who looks deeply uncomfortable with the whole situation.
“Dude, that was really scary,” he ends up saying in an attempt at levity, an unsuccessful one at that. Though he has his back turned to her, Kon can practically see Cassie grit her teeth.
Instead of laughing it off, Tim apologizes. His voice comes out small and breathy. Kons shoulders tense involuntarily.
“It’s not your fault,” Bart and Cassie say simultaneously and Tim groans just as Kon finishes up bandaging Bart's wound.
“We can talk about this later. We should all rest for now,” Cassie sighs as she gets up out of her seat. Bart follows suit but Kon can’t bring himself to get up. Cassie looks at him, concerned, but doesn’t say anything as they leave the room, leaving him alone with Tim.
Kons gaze stays rooted on Tims face, bruised up and too pale. He had taken off his mask and just as Kon expected, dark rings have settled under his eyes. Tims eyes meet his, stubborn and so damn tired. The intensity of his stare almost makes him shudder.
“Tim-” he starts, voice low.
“Please don’t get all concerned with me,” Tim cuts in immediately, wincing as he talks.
Kon raises an eyebrow, well aware that he‘s deflecting again. He indulges him, even if only for a bit.
“You want me to yell at you instead?”
“Yeah, actually. I'd prefer that.” He lets out a short laugh.
“I don’t want to do that, though. Not with you all bruised and battered.”
Tim doesn’t respond to that. He shifts uncomfortably, even if he still refuses to break eye contact.
“Listen, I know you’re not just… refusing to sleep or something. You don’t have to tell me what's been keeping you up either. I just want to know how I can help.”
He speaks slowly, choosing his words carefully, anxiously awaiting any reaction from Tim. He’s too
worried to dwell on how he practiced this conversation in his head a million times over, how annoyed Tim would be if he knew that. Instead he waits, watches as his brows furrow together, like he just presented him with some riddle to solve.
“You know I’ve tried everything I can think of, right?“ is what he ends up saying. Kon thinks he hears the faintest shake in his voice, or maybe he’s imagining it, but it breaks his heart all the same.
“I can stay with you tonight?” he offers.
Tim scoffs, not in a demeaning way, but Kon flinches regardless.
“What, and just stare at me all night? I don’t know, Kon.”
Kon stands up as he’s in the middle of his sentence, comes to a halt in front of the bed. Tim watches as he moves across the room, puzzled, one eyebrow raised in confusion.
Kon shrugs, trying his best to seem calm. He gestures vaguely to the mattress. “Still, it might be worth a try. Scoot over, Wonder Boy.”
Tims eyes widen comically. A flicker of surprise - and something else, something Kon can’t place - passes over his face. He blinks once, twice before shifting a little to the side.
Kon awkwardly climbs into the bed, hoping that Tim doesn’t sense his hesitation. This was his idea after all. He lies down on his back and makes sure to keep a little bit of distance between them. He can't bring himself to look over at Tim though he sees out of the corner of his eyes how his shoulders have stiffened, curled inward as if he’s making space for him. Kon frowns. This isn't the outcome he was hoping for, it's the opposite, but he’s unsure what to say.
After a long moment, Tim shifts again. Their shoulders brush, then he leans his head against his shoulder. Kon inhales sharply; he hadn’t noticed that he was holding his breath.
“This feels silly,” Tim mutters. His breath tickles the side of Kons neck and he can’t help but grin.
“Yeah, a little. Might work, though,” he reminds him and finally dares to move, throwing his arm loosely around him. He doesn’t pull away, he relaxes into him. Kon has no way to explain the sudden stutter of his heart and simply hopes that Tim doesn’t hear it aswell.
He hums as Tims breathing slows down, as the tension in his limbs melts away. Kon feels his own eyes grow heavy and doesn’t protest when they fall shut. He’s just about conscious enough to notice Tims hand find his, their fingers brushing against each other, before he falls asleep himself.
——
Most people look peaceful when they sleep. Tim isn’t a part of that majority. Kon wakes before the day breaks again when he feels something, no, someone shaking next to him. The tremors coursing through Tims body don’t stop, his hands balled into fists, knuckles white.
Kon leans closer, brushing a hand over Tims shoulder. He can feel Tims heart beating, hard and irregular, where his chest leans against his arm. He wants to wake him, but when he holds onto him tighter, Tim flinches hard at the touch, face twisted in distress.
“Tim,” he tries again. “It’s okay. You’re dreaming.”
Tims eyes snap open. His eyes dart all over the room, almost skipping past Kon, whose arms are wrapped around him, caging him in. For a moment, Kon worries that Tim doesn’t see him at all.
Then his gaze sharpens. The tension in his brows ease a little as recognition slips in.
“You’re here,” he breathes, voice ragged.
Kon answers before he thinks. “Always.”
Soft and gentle, the word hangs between them. Tim regains control over his breathing, slow and deliberate. Kon just blinks, surprised at the certainty of his declaration. It almost feels like he’s talking about something else, a different kind of promise than what was asked of him. He feels the weight of his assurance reverberating in his chest.
He doesn’t give himself the time to unpack it. Tim hides his face in the crook of Kons neck with a frustrated groan.
Kon doesn’t say anything at first. His hand moves up, lands on the nape of his neck. He threads his fingers through his hair in what he hopes is a soothing motion. Sweat clings to his body but Kon doesn’t mind; he’s almost too worried to even notice.
“Sorry, this is really annoying,” Tim mumbles against his skin, but Kon just holds him closer, his chin resting lightly against the top of his head.
“It’s not. You’re okay,” he promises.
Tim lets out a few shuddering breaths. “Hey Kon? Can you… can you keep talking please?” he asks.
Kon doesn’t hesitate. “Of course baby.”
Then, his brain shuts off.
Baby? Did he actually say that out loud?
Why would he say that? Like it’s the most normal thing in the world, like it makes sense?
Tim tenses up in his arms, just a little. Kon wants to yell. His face heats up like a furnace and he’s so, so grateful that Tim isn’t looking at him.
“Kon?” Tims voice pierces through the confused silence that blankets the room.
“Right, right, sorry. Hey, d’you remember the cake me and Bart got Cissie for her birthday? Don’t know if I told you, but that was all Bart, you know? He’s weirdly very good at baking, even with all the rest periods and stuff, you’d think he wouldn’t be…”
He starts rambling, because he doesn’t know what else to do. He’s still talking - about french buttercream or maybe it's swiss, he can never remember the difference, no matter how many times Bart has told him - when he finally runs out of breath. He’s silent for a moment, waiting for a response from Tim that doesn’t come.
He risks a look at him. Tims eyes are closed again, breathing slow and even. Asleep.
Kon looks at him longer than he needs to. Tims mellowed out again, brows unfurrowed and hands no longer balled into fists; instead they are splayed out against his chest, right next to where he’s nestled his head.
The warmth that floods Kons chest at the sight before him should surprise him more than it does. He wonders if he’s started to expect it, the fondness he feels when he gets a quiet moment with Tim.
Without thinking, he brushes a few strands of hair off of his forehead. He lingers there for a second, before pulling back.
“Huh,” he mutters, mostly to himself.
——
Kon stirs awake slowly, blinking against the brightness flooding the room. His mind is still foggy from sleep, but through squinted eyes he sees Tim already sitting up on the mattress.
Tim looks calm, despite the dark rings that still appear under his eyes. But the restless nature that Kon had picked up on over the last few weeks has receded a little, replaced by a warm stillness.
“Morning,” Kon offers, voice still rough from sleep.
Tim looks over and greets him back.
“You sleep well?” Kon asks carefully, still blinking the sleep out of his eyes. He moves to sit up, leaning on his elbows.
Tim shrugs, a small smile spreading across his face. “Yeah, surprisingly.”
Kon hums. He’s really glad, though something is nagging at him still. He waits for a beat before he speaks again.
“I know I said you don’t have to tell me what’s been keeping you up, and I meant it but…”
“You wanna know what I’m dreaming about?” Tim interrupts. He’s still smiling, which Kon takes as a good sign.
“If that’s okay.”
Tim barks out a harsh laugh. “I feel like at this point it’d be easier to list what I don’t have nightmares about. No Man's Land, Apokolips, you, Steph, my Dad… you get the gist.” He gestures vaguely. Kon aches as he listens to him speak, as he hears that he himself is part of his bad dreams. His mouth feels dry all of a sudden.
He nods. “Yeah, you’re a therapist's wet dream, dude.”
Tim laughs again, softer this time. Kon likes that he can see his eyes crinkle when he isn’t wearing his mask.
“Turns out all I needed was to sleep with you,” he jokes, still laughing.
Kon pushes him slightly in response and he sways a little.
“Tim, oh my God, don’t say it like that!” he complains, though his own fit of laughter rises out of his chest.
“What?” Tim teases, grinning. “You were the one who called me baby last night.”
Kons eyes widen in horror. He feels a heat creeping up his neck. Kon falls back on to the bed and groans dramatically as he hides his face behind his hands, mostly to hide his blush. “I thought you didn’t remember that…”
Through his fingers, he sees the grin on Tims face widen. He leans back as well, leaning his head on his shoulder as he looks at Kon. “Oh, no way,” he giggles. His eyes sparkle with amusement.
Kon doesn’t answer. He just huffs, still mortified when he feels Tims fingers wrap themselves around one of his wrists, pulling his hand away from his face. He lets him, though he closes his eyes, too embarrassed to fully look at him. His heart beats a little too fast at the contact. He wonders if Tims placed his fingers on his pulse point when he hears him chuckle again.
“I didn’t mind, actually. It was kinda nice,” he says, his tone light.
Kon opens his eyes just a little, peering at Tim. “What?”
Tims is still wearing a playful grin though it grows a little softer. The sight makes Kons chest tighten.
“Well, you know…” he gestures again, but this time Kon has no clue what he’s talking about. He lifts an eyebrow, confused.
“I don’t think I do,” he admits. Tim just chuckles again, clearly amused.
Kon sits up and looks down at Tim, trying his best to decipher him. He nudges him with his knee. “C’mon, little help here, Wonder Boy!” Kon says, flustered.
Tim furrows his brows dramatically, making a show of seriously considering whether he wants to help him, when he leans in a little closer than Kon expected. “You have a nice voice,” he breathes.
Kon feels lightheaded. He’s always liked when Tim would take off his mask, even if those were rare occasions. He likes that he can see his eyes, how bright and vivid they shine. He likes that he can tell where his attention lies, how his gaze moves, and where it lingers.
Like now, when Tim’s eyes flit over Kon’s face. For a brief moment they hover over his lips, a fraction of a second that feels like a lifetime.
Kon’s pulse skips.
Oh.
Oh, of course.
Kon also leans in close, but Tim doesn’t flinch. Stubborn as always he holds eye contact.
“You like my voice, huh?” Kon practically purrs into his ear which earns him an elbow into his ribs. Tim can’t hide how his cheeks go a little red at that, though, how his smile grows a little wider.
“Shut up.”
Before Kon has any time to react, or to think really, Tims hand is already at the back of his neck, pulling him down. Tims breath hitches against his lips, as if he’s surprised by his own boldness. Kon finally regains control over his body and moves his hand up to cup his jaw, just as Tim closes the distance, lips firm but gentle on his, shutting him up for good.
Kons heart stutters when he feels Tims lips part ever so slightly. He can’t resist the urge to lean in even more, deepening the kiss. Tim smiles against his lips and Kon almost loses it. He’s dizzy, he’s lost all track of time and he’s pretty sure his hand that has found its way around Tims waist is shaking. None of that matters though, not if he’s the reason for making Tim smile like that, only for him.
They separate for air after minutes, or maybe hours, Kon can’t be sure. He can’t be sure of anything really, with how his head is spinning. Maybe he’s floating a little, up and away if it weren’t for Tims hands in his hair, anchoring him down to reality.
He pulls him down again and presses a small kiss on his forehead.
“Took you long enough to figure this out,” he mumbles against his skin.
Kon sighs, inches his hands down his sides, holding him down with an eager smile. “You could’ve given me a hint or something dude.”
“A hint to your own feelings? How am I supposed to do that?” he laughs.
He pauses for a bit and runs his hands through Kon’s hair. He hums, content.
“Also, don’t call me dude when you just had your tongue down my throat, please,” he adds with a dopey grin. Kon can’t seem to tear his eyes away from him, from his mouth. It takes him a second to even hear what he’s saying when all he can think is how he wants to kiss him again.
“Aww, really?” he finally says.
Tim laughs. ”Yeah. Now c’mon, we gotta find some mouthwash or something, you got morning breath.” He rolls over, pulling Kon who's still holding on to him along until Tims laying on top of him.
Kon pulls a face of mock offense. “Hey, rude!”
Tim leans over and angles a kiss on his cheek. “Sorry,” he giggles. Kon’s hand reaches out instinctively to cup his face but Tim’s already wiggling out of his grasp, standing up. He grins down at Kon and holds out a hand for him.
Kon takes it, entwines his fingers with Tims calloused ones and looks around the room. “We should find a better nap spot,” he decides.
“So you think we should do this again?” Kon doesn’t have to look over to know that a smirk is tugging at the corner of his mouth. He hears the amusement dripping off his words.
Kon feels shy all of the sudden. He doesn’t meet Tims eye, but squeezes his hand regardless. “If you’ll have me.”
Tim squeezes right back and waits for Kon to look up. Their eyes meet after a moment, soft and gentle, and well rested for once.
“Of course. Always,” he promises.
Kon doesn’t need to hear anything else. He believes him, quickly, easily, in a way that's a little unfamiliar. But Tims always been his exception.
Mindful of his apparent morning breath, he resists the urge to kiss Tim again, and follows him out of the room.