Archive of Our Own

The Spire of Deceit was dull tonight.

Which might be surprising to hear, considering the Cookie running this place, filling the air with wondrous illusions and puppet shows held on a whim. Maybe, just maybe, there was a slim chance he was giving his so called “prisoner” a break tonight. A moment of peace and quiet.

Or, rather, had tonight seemed dull because Pure Vanilla Cookie — Truthless Recluse, now, had begun to find many things dull? He could not know for certain. As Pure Vanilla, he would have had many various tasks to attend to at this time of night, even if that simply meant going through piles of documents and letters and such, the candle he would keep on the desk burning long into the night. Depending on the workload, it wasn’t uncommon for him to awake with his head lying down into the mountain of papers while the scent of lilies filled his senses.

Lilies.

The memory causes a faint ache in Truthless Recluse’s heart. Being here now, with nothing to do in this quiet, empty room, lets his mind wander throughout various memories of his past. Things he could have done differently, should have done differently. So many things he wishes he could change, so many things he wishes he could say to her, to all of them. The regret of not doing enough for his kingdom might have been another cause for his sleepless nights.

Whether what he has become is a result of all of his own choices up until this point, or if it is the influence of Shadow Milk Cookie anymore, even he cannot say for sure. Perhaps, the Beast was right, and that Truthless Recluse was going to become him. Or, something like him. Deep down, he still had no desire to hurt anybody, despite inadvertently doing so in various situations. Almost like he could fight against his fate no longer.

So he will remain here, at the very top of this spire, locked away in this room that feels so horribly empty in comparison for the rest of eternity. Nothing to love, nothing to hate. No worries, none of that past conviction he had. He was going to grant himself a life of solitude, forever alone to feel simple indifference washing over him as his eyes, now opened, stare down at the wooden desk he’s been sitting at for who knows how long.

…

”Alone?” Hah, yeah right! Really, how could Truthless Recluse be so silly as to forget about the most important Cookie of all? The one who has oh so graciously given Truthless Recluse this room to reside in. Why, it’s Shadow Milk Cookie of course! Really, what was Truthless Recluse thinking, if he truly believes the star of the show, the giver of deceit, the one who understands him like no other wouldn’t pop in to say hello?! Leaving Truthless Recluse to wallow in his own misery is no fun at all, not until Shadow Milk is watching at least. No, he’s come to play with his new favorite toy and cheer him up! Shadow Milk does not faire well with being forgotten. He’s not going to let Truthless Recluse get away so easily, even to the recesses of his own mind.

”Nillyyy~!”

Shadow Milk is already coming out from the wall from a shadowy portal right in front of Truthless Recluse before the other can even glance up, and once he does he scoots back in his chair with a look of surprise, which Shadow Milk takes as a polite gesture of giving him some room to come in, and the look he’s giving him is because he’s excited!

The dramatic jester makes a show of standing on Truthless Recluse’s desk, dusting himself off as part of it as he takes a quick sweeping glance around the room. It doesn’t seem like his guest has done much with space, seeing as how it’s nearly exactly how he had prepared it and left it for him. No matter, he’ll make himself at home soon! His eyes soon come back to the prize, the real reason why he’s here.

Shadow Milk grins at Truthless Recluse, and the other can only stare back at him with what looks like apprehension and a quirked brow. It’s almost enough to make Shadow Milk laugh, but he keeps it in for now, instead making a grand gesture of summoning his jester hat and bowing with it.

“Oh, well aren’t you just a sight for sore eyes! It’s been too long!”

Truthless Recluse blinks, silent, before finally speaking up to say, “…We saw each other y-“

He’s interrupted quickly when Shadow Milk silently extends an open hand to him right in front of his face. The once beloved Ancient hero glances up at him before accepting what he believes to be an offer, placing his hand into Shadow Milk’s.

Shadow Milk continues to grin gleefully. This was all going well according to the script in his mind. He takes Truthless Recluse’s hand with a stunning amount of gentleness and brings it to his lips, pressing a chaste kiss to the back of it.

The move is effective, seeing as it’s enough to capture Truthless Recluse’s full undivided attention. His eyes widen, and they never leave Shadow Milk’s form as the other Cookie pulls back slightly with that same sharp toothed grin still ever present on his face. He’s watching Truthless Recluse’s intently, eager to see what he’ll say or do.

”Shadow Milk-“

A pause.

”Master… Shadow Milk Cookie.”

Oh, oh his beloved little puppet was just a prodigy at this! Such a good disciple of deceit, it’s like he’s teaching himself! Learning so quickly!

“Yes, my dear?”

The teasing lilt in his voice is unmistakable, as even the pet name uttered from his lips is laced with an underlying venom.

”What is the meaning of all of this?” Truthless Recluse’s tone is neutral, neither agitated nor pleased.

Shadow Milk lets out a half hearted, indignant scoff, looking to the other Cookie like he was almost offended, “Whatt~? Is it so wrong I came to see my favorite playmate so we could enjoy one of our games?!”

A game? That’s not all this could be about, could it? No, Truthless Recluse knew better than that. Even if he had given up on the truth in this moment, it didn’t mean the concept was exempt from being anywhere and everywhere, even including the top of this spire.

The only question was, what game would Shadow Milk Cookie like to play tonight?

”Okay… What are we playing?”

Truthless Recluse is expecting the usual. Either a game of chess, cards, or-

“Hide and seek.”

Truthless Recluse raises an eyebrow, but looks intrigued. That was definitely an unexpected and new choice from Shadow Milk. Despite the looming feeling in his hollow chest that not much matters anymore, he was not opposed either which way to playing or not playing, so he might as well.

“Hm… Alright.” Truthless Recluse agrees, though he’s sure that if this was something Shadow Milk had his heart said on, his acceptance or refusal wouldn’t have mattered in the end. This is something they were bound into.

”Wonderful!” Truthless Recluse watches as Shadow Milk’s grin morphs into something less malicious, something that seems more sincere. He doesn’t comment on it.

Instead, he glances around his room, and asks a simple but important question, “What are the playing grounds? Is the whole spire included?”

Shadow Milk can already guess what Truthless Recluse is thinking, but it’s more amusing not to explain everything to his little marionette right away, “Of course! What else but my grand stage can even compare for such an occasion?”

Truthless Recluse does not respond, and instead looks to Shadow Milk with an empty expression. This quiet and empty night was now shaping up to be a long one.

He sits on the bed centered in the room and closes his eyes, setting his staff down on the sheets and brings both of his free hands up to cover his eyes. He couldn’t seem to recall the last time he had even played such a simple and childish game, but the rules were as ingrained into him as they were in any Cookie, of course.

Shadow Milk watches this all transpire without saying a word, though internally it’s taking all that he is to not burst out laughing. Oh, it was just too good a sight to be true, having such a self righteous preacher of truth behave like such a fool, just for him.

He floats down from the desk and starts to come towards Truthless Recluse, but not before letting out a few chuckles he just couldn’t keep in, “Aw, I admire your enthusiasm, Nilly! But, no.”

Before Truthless Recluse can react, Shadow Milk is already reaching out to grab at his wrists and pry his hands away from his eyes. Even if his reluctant counterpart is as blind as a bat, Shadow Milk is always hungry for all eyes on him. No other reason.

“I shall be the one seeking you!” Shadow Milk declares in his usual jovial tone, his mismatched eyes gleaming with a look of anticipation, like he had some sort of plan or ulterior motive.

No matter. Truthless Recluse was just happy that he wouldn’t have to be the one seeking Shadow Milk, seeing as the other Cookie could be quite slippery with his magical abilities and not to mention, could warp this realm to his whims at any time. Even if Shadow Milk had promised not to cheat, well… Truthless Recluse wasn’t that foolish anymore.

“I see.” Is all Truthless Recluse says before pushing himself off up the bed with the help of his staff, grabbing onto it with his right hand while using his left hand to place it on Shadow Milk’s shoulder. He observes how his eyes, even the ones in the undefinable mass that what he assumes is his hair, all turn to watch him with rapt attention as he takes a step behind Shadow Milk, giving him a gentle push down onto the edge of the bed Truthless Recluse had just been previously sitting on.

Shadow Milk looks up at him in disbelief, but he doesn’t seem angered or insulted by this maneuver. Would Truthless Recluse even have cared if it did upset him? He seems to be crossing that line more and more without even realizing it. This transition from selfless to… selfish. Conflicting, yet invigorating, too.

”Let’s not wait any longer, then.” Truthless Recluse keeps going, even taking a step away from Shadow Milk, who is still sitting on the bed, staring at him, “I want three minutes at least.”

Shadow Milk blinks, and immediately perks right back up like he had never been so shellshocked in the first place, “Why of course, Silly Vanilly!” He’s already back to full on smirking, but for some reason, Truthless Recluse feels like he can catch on to a faint hint of genuine joy in his demeanor, “I’ll give you all the time you need, it’s not like either one of us is going anywhere~!”

Truthless Recluse looks at Shadow Milk, and lets out a small, halfheartedly amused scoff. He turns to start making his way towards the door without even catching a glimpse at how Shadow Milk is absolutely beaming from the sheer fact that he was still able to make his favorite Cookie smile despite how brooding he’s become! Oh, tonight should be so much fun.

…

Truthless Recluse had actually not really thought about where he could go after leaving Shadow Milk Cookie alone in his bedroom to count down the seconds in which the Beast would be out on the prowl. And not having a spot picked out already was rather unusual for him, as he would have been able to think about a multitude of various possibilities if he were behaving as his usual self, where he would have been more observant and creative about where to hide, but he was opting to wander the hallways and rooms in the Spire of Deceit aimlessly instead.

He had gotten a full grand tour when he was brought here initially, but it seems like he’s done a poor job at retaining these memories, as every turn and every door that he opens leads him to a new surprise left and right. Of course he would have expected that a Cookie like Shadow Milk might not let things remain the same way they were for too long, however. There’s a chance he’s redecorated or rearranged some things since then, but that’s to be expected of a Cookie who does the unexpected. Truthless Recluse sees and runs into many things, such as the little creatures that run around that act as physical manifestations of what deceit is and what can be done with it. Rumors, lies, trickery… the despair and joy it can all bring — it all lives here.

As Truthless Recluse continues to walk in silence, his mind once again starts to pile up with many thoughts. This time though, they’re all about Shadow Milk Cookie. Truthless Recluse was still… raveling with how he’s supposed to feel about him. Supposed to feel about him… Why was it so impossible for him to just do or think what he wants without rationalizing it? Truthless Recluse can’t even think of a time Pure Vanilla Cookie just let himself be, always wanting what was best for others because he believed that was what was best for himself.

Well, maybe he didn’t feel that way with one particular Cookie, but that hasn’t really worked out very well for him, has it? It seems no matter what Truthless Recluse or Pure Vanilla Cookie do, no matter if the choices they make split off into different rivers of possibility, it will all end the same no matter what. It will end in something meaningless, he was never going to have what he wanted. Not to the full extent, anyway. Life was not so fair, for anybody.

Unless you make it that way. Unless you take what you want.

Truthless Recluse didn’t know what he wanted anymore.

Shadow Milk knows what he wants. Shadow Milk, at the very least, acts like he has everything he wants. Shadow Milk is unabashed and shameless in the way he acts, doing whatever he pleases and taking everything he sets his sights on, and to still have loyal minions who adore him for it and to have an alliance with the other Beasts… How does he do it? And how is that fair? Why is he doing all of this? A puzzling enigma, that Cookie is.

He’s pulled out of his thoughts when he randomly chooses to take a look at a room filled with various furniture. How lucky. This would do, he thinks. Though now he’s wondering why he hasn’t heard anything or has caught a glimpse of Shadow Milk Cookie at all, seeing as it has been well past three minutes since their little game started. Truthless Recluse knew that, most likely than not, Shadow Milk has been watching him this whole time, at least in some way maybe, and was waiting for him to get to his spot.

But get to his spot he shall, as Truthless Recluse has decided the best hiding place would be behind a tall and wide couch, which he crouches behind to sit down on the floor, pulling his knees up to his chest to rest his chin on top of. Now, he waits.

And waits.

And waits.

And… waits?

Truthless Recluse has shifted around a little bit from his original position, trying to keep himself comfortable as the seconds tick on by. Minutes. They stretch on, and Truthless Recluse is starting to get confused. Surely Shadow Milk can’t be this bad at finding him, right? That had to be impossible, so what was he doing? Did Shadow Milk get bored with this and just up and leave? Did he forget about him?

The thought is maybe a tad bit foolish but, Truthless Recluse still feels a sliver of anxiety shoot through his sternum. Whether this was a good kind of anxiety or not he could not discern even for himself, seeing as maybe he should be feeling relieved at the thought of not having to endure more suffering at the hands of the Beast with the way Shadow Milk likes to torment him mentally, but the thought of never seeing him again puts a pit in his stomach.

Truthless Recluse shifts to be on his knees, and he leverages himself and stretches just enough to peak out from over the couch to see if Shadow Milk was just messing around or if he was on his way at all, but Truthless Recluse neither saw nor heard any sign of the other Cookie.

The vanilla cookie actually huffs in a show of some kind displeasure, grabbing onto his staff with a firm hold as he properly stands all the way up. Witches, he was getting too old to be playing around like this. How someone older than him like Shadow Milk Cookie was able to remain so spry and nimble like that was a frustrating injustice. Speaking of which, he still is nowhere to be found. Truthless Recluse doesn’t even remember seeing Candy Apple Cookie or Black Sapphire Cookie running around the Spire at all either. It’s like the Spire had become completely empty all of the sudden.

Truthless Recluse turns his gaze away from the front of the room, preparing to contemplate, and that’s when it happens. In the brief moment that he closes his eyes, he opens them again to find Shadow Milk Cookie hovering right in front of him.

He sucks in a sharp gasp of surprise, startling a little bit, but before he can react further or get a word out, Shadow Milk is already reaching out for him, grabbing hold of his waist with a firm but painless grip and a proud grin plastered on his face.

”Mm, got you! He he he he!” Shadow Milk declares triumphantly.

…

Truthless Recluse almost could not stand this Cookie.

He remains silent, even as Shadow Milk tugs him closer. He should be pushing him away, but he doesn’t. Shadow Milk’s proximity, his warmth, is the reminder his nerves needed that he wasn’t left alone. He simply lets out a soft, exasperated sigh, but maybe there was some relief in it, too.

”Well, you‘ve won.” He comments dryly.

Shadow Milk is not deterred by his lovely puppet’s attitude, as no one could ever snuff out the passion he has as a performer! “Hmm… It appears I have~!”

He looks to Truthless Recluse with a clear intent in his eyes, moving one of his hands from Truthless Recluse’s waist to rest on his shoulder, reaching out with his lithe fingers to delicately stroke at some of the locks of his precious Vanilla Cookie’s beautiful blonde hair.

”Do I get a prize?”

Truthless Recluse scoffs, “What else do you intend to take from me that you haven’t already?”

Shadow Milk bites his tongue at that one.

”Nothinggg, you little pessimist! I simply wanted to ask that you have dinner with me.”

Truthless Recluse is taken aback, and he arches his brow to give Shadow Milk a very skeptical look, “Why?”

”Because I won the game, and because I said so.”

It’s no secret that Truthless Recluse got away with a lot, things no other Cookie would dare even try in Shadow Milk’s presence unless they were his enemy. That has been noted by both of his minions already, but even Shadow Milk only has so much patience for his beloved Cookie.

Truthless Recluse’s grip on his staff tightens momentarily, before he turns his head away, effectively shrugging off Shadow Milk’s hand, “I’m not interested.”

”I wasn’t asking.” Shadow Milk still retains his smiling tone, but his words are gritted with a growl, “That was simply a courtesy!”

Shadow Milk uses that free hand again to grip Truthless Recluse’s chin, forcing his gaze back onto him so he can look him in the eyes.

“You should know better than to take me for a fool! Don’t think I haven’t noticed you wasting away in those baggy robes of yours.” Shadow Milk’s grip tightens ever so slightly, more like a reflexive twitch as he thinks, “I don’t believe you’ve even had a meal since you’ve arrived. So, please, be compliant and eat something before I force you to come down there with me and make you.”

Truthless Recluse blinks, dumbfounded. He knew Shadow Milk had been watching him, of course, but to observe him so closely to notice the small details like that was unexpected somehow. Why did it matter so much to Shadow Milk either way? He has tormented Truthless Recluse personally, making it hard for him to believe that Shadow Milk would be so invested in his wellbeing.

At the same time, it’s somehow almost… endearing. It reminds Truthless Recluse of his conversations with Hollyberry Cookie. She would always get on his case about making sure he had been eating enough jellies. He felt as though he had been doing well to keep up with himself — sure he might have forgotten the occasional meal or two, and when another Cookie was also around and hungry of course he would give his jellies away.

He supposed he wouldn’t have to worry about that anymore.

Truthless Recluse concedes, letting his jaw go slack in Shadow Milk’s grasp, and his pensive expression relaxes back into his now commonplace neutrality, “Fine.”

”Good.” Shadow Milk ends it there, letting go of Truthless Recluse completely. He’s already reaching towards the vacant space in the room, creating a portal from the void with just his hand.

It opens up instantaneously, a swirling mix of black and blue appearing out of thin air, a testament to Shadow Milk’s magical capabilities. He floats towards it, and stops to turn back around towards Truthless Recluse, giving him a brief once over before extending his hand out before the other Cookie, an offer.

”Well, let’s get going!”

A blink, and a pause, and then finally, Truthless Recluse is stepping forward to accept it. Shadow Milk’s behavior has been so peculiar tonight.

With Truthless Recluse’s hand in his own, Shadow Milk envelopes it and tugs him along, and through the portal they go. Though the distance is relatively short, seeing as when they step through said portal they immediately emerge on the other side of it that had connected to the dining room. It still beat walking there, in Shadow Milk’s eyes. Nothing to do with him worrying about Truthless Recluse becoming fatigued whatsoever.

When the two of them are fully settled, the portal disappears, and Truthless Recluse takes a moment to look around. He was most likely shown this room briefly at the beginning if he’s remembering correctly, but he hadn’t actually spent anytime in here, and one of the first things he notes is how they’re in here together, alone. 

“Are Black Sapphire Cookie and Candy Apple Cookie not joining us?”

It’s a simple question, and Truthless Recluse is asking out of what he believes is just curiosity. Maybe they’ve already eaten? It’s what he’s now assuming.

Shadow Milk lets out a dramatic groan, looking like he was aggravated by the insinuation alone before rolling his eyes, “Ugh, won’t you stop dwelling on the sake of other cookies for one second?!”

Shadow Milk takes his staff, and before Truthless Recluse even knows it, he’s being hurled towards the dinner table by a chair that has hit him in the backs of his knees, making him fall backwards into it. He lets out a startled gasp, and he braces for a collision with the table, but it never comes.

Rather, Shadow Milk instead simply floats over to take his seat from across Truthless Recluse at the table, glaring at him with a sharp smirk, “Just focus on me.”

Truthless Recluse is awkwardly quiet while staring at Shadow Milk across the table. Initially, he wasn’t completely sure why his question had angered him so, but the longer he dwelled on it mentally… Maybe Shadow Milk Cookie was right. Why not allow himself to just be in the present and only in the present moment for once? He’s becoming a different Cookie entirely, slowly.

“After all,” Shadow Milk cuts through his thoughts, “I went through all this trouble preparing vanilla flavored dishes just for you! Cookies nowadays are still doing that, right?”

“Huh.”

It wasn’t until Shadow Milk had said something that Truthless Recluse finally casted a glance downwards, the sight of various little treats laid out before him catching his ire. It was just as Shadow Milk described — a meal with a primarily vanilla flavor profile.

Truthfully, Truthless Recluse hadn’t indulged in many specific meals like this, mostly eating Jellyberries for any time of day or special occasion. Even that was rare, however…

A small, amused smile breaks out onto his face. Yes, it was still something Cookies did, like how Black Raisin Cookie enjoyed eating raisins. It was such an interesting notion in Truthless Recluse’s mind that Shadow Milk would try and adhere to something like that, and how he did this for him.

“Ooh, so you do have a little bit of emotion left after all!”

Truthless Recluse snaps his head back up to see Shadow Milk leaning across the table, propping up his elbows and resting his chin on his interlocked fingers. He looked as though he was enjoying this quite a bit, or rather was he possibly more pleased that Truthless Recluse appeared to be enjoying this as well?

His teasing didn’t sour Truthless Recluse’s mood, as he simply chuckled, and actually couldn’t stop for a second even as he spoke, “I suppose I do… It hadn’t fully occurred to me how, ah, wise you would be after all this time.”

”…Are you calling me old?”

Truthless Recluse avoids this question by picking up a spoon and digging into one of the sweet treats offered to him on the table, vanilla pudding. The dessert is sweet as expected, but quite smooth, and he wonders who exactly would even be the cook around here. It’s an amusing thought to picture any of the three Cookies whom he knows resides here doing it.

The room falls silent for a moment as Truthless Recluse and Shadow Milk both eat their dinner. It’s not surprising that not soon after eating about half of his pudding that Truthless Recluse is beginning to feel a little full already, seeing as his stomach’s capacity wasn’t exactly great to begin with.

He casts a curious glance over to Shadow Milk’s plate, noting how he’s picked the same kind of vanilla dishes Truthless Recluse had. It makes him wonder about two things. One; whether the Beast cookies truly needed to eat or not, and two; what could Shadow Milk Cookie possibly eat that would reflect his own flavor profile? Would he have to drink some shadowy… milk?

“Not eating blueberries or something of the sort?” Truthless Recluse muses, a joke clearly derived from the blue dough that makes up Shadow Milk Cookie.

Shadow Milk Cookie pauses abruptly at that, his spoon falling back into his bowl to give Truthless Recluse a mostly blank stare, save for the glint in his mismatched eyes. He stays like that for what feels like the eeriest and longest second of Truthless Recluse’s life before Shadow Milk Cookie perks right back up, still staring but smiling now nonetheless, even as it looks a bit strained, “Funny!”

Truthless Recluse must have hit a nerve he didn’t know even existed, and he makes sure to take note of that for later. After all, figuring out Shadow Milk Cookie may be the key to all of this chaos that he needs. He feels the faintest spark of hope reignite in his chest once again seeing a glimpse of this assumed weakness, but he does well to keep his neutrality present on the outside.

”Besides,”

Oh, he was still going?

Truthless Recluse picks up on the sound of metal clinking, Shadow Milk Cookie’s spoon is back in his hand, and he’s helping himself to a scoop of vanilla ice cream. It’s almost horrifying how he makes a show out of bringing the treat up to his lips, popping into his mouth while keeping eye contact. He lets the dessert melt on his tongue, and smirks while speaking to Truthless Recluse.

“I find that I like the taste of vanilla just fine.”

Oh.

Truthless Recluse regrets saying anything at all. He has to take a breath and close his eyes to not recoil in his own chair from the disgust that little display brought him. A moment of respite is not in store for him though as Shadow Milk’s sharp laughter cuts through the room, drawing Truthless Recluse’s attention back to him. This was a Cookie who would forever enjoy making others uncomfortable.

“Oh, I’ve got to hand it to you, Nilly… Even as you’ve become a teeny bit benumbed like this, you’re still so much fun!”

The tense feeling in the air is dissipating at least, and Shadow Milk Cookie looks pleased in spite of everything. Even Truthless Recluse could not fathom why he got away with so much seeing as the Beast Cookies were known for their brutality and merciless behavior. This is not to be misconstrued since Truthless Recluse has definitely been terrorized quite a fair amount, but in an almost weird sense he felt maybe a little grateful that it wasn’t worse. Probably a horrible thing to think, but he was grasping at straws here to keep even a fraction of his sanity.

“I’m… glad you think so.” Truthless Recluse expresses his gratitude hesitantly, evidently questioning whether or not he should be glad that he’s so entertaining to Shadow Milk Cookie.

”It’s because you’re starting to understand, aren’t you? I’ve been a gracious host!”

That statement is half-true.

”You might not understand now, but what you’ve become is far less cruel than what the Witches have done to me. You’ll appreciate it in time, what I’ve done for you.”

His framing of the situation is so odd. Masking his cruelty as a favor to Truthless Recluse, and he can’t help but to wonder why Shadow Milk Cookie perceives it that way.

Shadow Milk’s fluctuating moods and behaviors often left him unpredictable and mostly unreadable at times, something that kept Truthless Recluse on his toes, and this seemed to be one of those sudden moments of something deeper within Shadow Milk Cookie coming to the surface. He refuses to give Truthless Recluse any amount of time to comment on it before he’s moving on to something less serious, something more “silly”.

”You don’t have to worry about anything except for me, of course! Oh, but who am I kidding, I’m the greatest company you could ask for!”

Is he saying that because of their connection? That’s what Truthless Recluse thinks he’s implying. Thinking about it now… The only other Cookies who would come close to being on the same level as Shadow Milk Cookie are his fellow Beasts, and they’re not here for obvious reasons. Black Sapphire Cookie and Candy Apple Cookie might be entertaining little minions, but they wouldn’t be able to grasp the depth and gravity of what Shadow Milk Cookie is, what he feels.

He is truly alone.

And this resonates with Truthless Recluse in a way he’s never realized before. Because he relates, he relates so much he almost feels stupid for not seeing it before. Truthless Recluse knows this feeling intimately, of having other Cookies around, Cookies who he cares about dearly and considers his most cherished friends, who are still unable to understand him completely and utterly. It’s not something he expects of them at all. They have their own lives, their own hardships and kingdoms to look over, but it is because of that weight that has been placed so heavily on his shoulders that he feels the same. The same that even with some of his most beloved Cookies by his side, he still returns to his bedroom at the end of a long day all by himself.

He longs for a true connection, just as Shadow Milk Cookie does.

Shadow Milk Cookie is just like him, almost. They’ve shared similar lives, experienced nearly identical emotions at some points, and they even possess the same Soul Jam.

Perhaps they’ve been yearning exactly for each other all along. How wonderfully horrible is that?

“Pure Vanilla Cookie.”

Truthless Recluse just about jolts in his seat, having been violently forced out of the deep thought he was in. He didn’t even comprehend just how carried away he had gotten without meaning to, it was like he had some sort of huge revelation and went to a different plane of existence momentarily. He couldn’t recall the last time Shadow Milk Cookie had referred to him with that name since he had started residing here as Truthless Recluse.

“Y-Yes?”

Shadow Milk Cookie appraises him with a wry smile, “Are you done eating?”

Truthless Recluse gawks at him for a second, as he was fully expecting for Shadow Milk Cookie to call him out, but he quickly recomposes himself and slowly nods his head to communicate a simple ‘yes’ in reply.

”Hmm…” Shadow Milk Cookie’s eyes narrow while looking at him, thinking of what he was to do next.

”I believe… It’s time to close the curtain on this little performance we’ve indulged in tonight! Time to go back to your room.”

Shadow Milk Cookie rises from his seat abruptly, and Truthless Recluse is thinking maybe he wasn’t off the hook entirely. He’s still struggling to form a proper sentence due to the suddenness of everything happening around him in the current moment, but he’s not about to argue with Shadow Milk Cookie either, so he simply stands up from his seat as well.

Shadow Milk takes hold of his staff, and in a blink the table is cleared off with what food had remained and is reset with clean plates and cutlery, and both their chairs had been tucked back in underneath it. It’s unbecomingly tidy for a Cookie as chaotic as Shadow Milk, but Truthless Recluse makes no comment on it. The stress he’s felt throughout the night is starting to subside with the reassurance that he would be able to retreat to his chambers soon to indulge back into his thoughts, and to be able to rest without being disturbed and pestered.

“Come now, my dear.” Shadow Milk, as always, is floating rather than standing, and he’s gesturing for Truthless Recluse to come over to him. Guess they’ll be ‘walking’ back rather than taking one of Shadow Milk’s portals. It didn’t matter to him either way, there was no point in trying to figure out the reasoning behind why Shadow Milk did what he did a majority of the time. Perhaps even as the night was ending, he wanted to stretch out this small bit of their time together.

Truthless Recluse reclaims his place at Shadow Milk Cookie’s side, and they exit the dining hall together, re-emerging in the twisting and winding hallways of the Spire Truthless Recluse had come to familiarize himself with. He imagines that without Shadow Milk here to guide him, it would have taken him awhile to get back to his room on his own. It could have been a nice feeling, to have someone else to depend on like that, but this is coming from a place of being forced to. It’s not sincere. Even still, perhaps there was something the shepherd could learn from the wolf under certain circumstances.

As they go along, Shadow Milk Cookie is uncharacteristically quiet. He’s checked out, and Truthless Recluse finds himself almost wishing he could hear his thoughts. The Spire had done little to give him any substantial clues as to what kind of Cookie Shadow Milk truly is, beyond the theatrical façade, or what kind of Cookie he used to be at the very least. He had set up so many walls between himself and all other Cookies, never allowing himself to be fully seen nor exposed in full. Nothing about the decor or architecture gave anything away in the slightest right now.

It was still within Truthless Recluse’s nature to want to know what was going on with other Cookies with his past experiences as a healer. He wasn’t sure why he kept fluctuating between his old self and the Cookie he was now, going back and forth between having hope and simply giving up. He was still getting used to being complacent, he supposed. It’s been harder to purge his old self than he thought it would be.

It’s possible he needs to start going about this in a new way, but he’s going to have to bide his time for now.

Truthless Recluse leaves Shadow Milk Cookie be, letting himself be silently tugged along as neither of them speak a word. Though, maybe Truthless Recluse should have been — He should have been taking advantage of this moment of perceived weakness from Shadow Milk Cookie, hounding him about why he’s so quiet now when he’s usually so annoying and chatty, why he’s doing all of this in the first place.

…He can’t find it within himself to be so cruel. It’s always been easy to be cruel to himself, but not to others. Not even to Shadow Milk Cookie. He suspects that he’s one of the few Cookies to ever see him this way, and theoretically be able to tell the tale about it someday. Shadow Milk Cookie must think he’s on his way to fully breaking Truthless Recluse, that it’s just a matter of time until he is willing to let go of what once was and choose deceit through and through.

It’s not an entirely improbable possibility. Truthless Recluse isn’t able to dwell too much on what he thinks will happen for him next in the future for much longer though, as without realizing it the two of them have already made it to Truthless Recluse’s door, at the very top of the Spire. If he could find any amusement in this arrangement at all, perhaps it would be that being kept here almost reminded him of a few fairytales he had read in his youth. If only life were that simple and romantic.

“Ahh, here we aree~!” Shadow Milk Cookie announces theatrically, his voice a faint sing-song. He goes ahead and opens the door for Truthless Recluse, bowing with a dramatic flourish and a side swept hand to gesture him inside, “Entertaining as always, doll. But even I have to let my puppets rest! Not to mention the fact that I have a few teensy tiny errands to run. Don’t worry, I won’t be gone long!”

Truthless Recluse doesn’t doubt that. He hasn’t been able to fully grasp the scope of what a Cookie like Shadow Milk does in his day to day life, but he’s certain that it must be somewhat hectic considering the fact that he is a Beast. Even outside of that, he’s sure that Shadow Milk Cookie sets aside some time to just go out into the world of Earthbread to spread deceit wherever he can reach, sowing the seeds of discord and chaos. It’s what he did best, after all. 

Truthless Recluse chooses not respond, wordlessly stepping into his bedroom. It’s exactly as he had left it before he was dragged off to play and have dinner with Shadow Milk Cookie — really it hadn’t looked that different from when Shadow Milk had initially set up for him on the first day, as it barely looked lived in. The most he had indulged in was maybe taking a book or two from the shelf to skim the pages, but not much else besides sleeping in the bed. It was hard to adjust, and he had lost the motivation to do hardly anything at all.

Shadow Milk Cookie has robbed him of many things.

He walks further into his bedroom to start getting ready for bed, which is the simple action of just taking his hat off and setting it aside on his nightstand. The aforementioned Cookie, surprisingly, didn’t take an offense for once to being ignored. He stood quietly in Truthless Recluse’s doorway, watching him move about. This would be the last time he would go out of his way for a Cookie so arrogant, he promised himself that. He wasn’t even sure himself why he did all of this, it’s not like he wanted Truthless Recluse to stay necessarily. He just needed Pure Vanilla Cookie’s Soul Jam, and that was it. Anything he’s ever said to him before was purely manipulation and nothing more. Right?

…

Shadow Milk Cookie lets out a disgruntled scoff, grabbing the doorknob and turning away from Truthless Recluse to get him out of his sight, “Well, suit yourself! Goodnight!” He huffed agitatedly, slamming the door shut.

Truthless Recluse does not flinch, unsurprised with Shadow Milk Cookie’s actions. In fact, he was anticipating an even worse reaction. Shadow Milk had only surprised him with how minute his anger was. No matter, Truthless Recluse was left to his own devices now, and he really should have felt more relieved about it, but…

He spares his bedroom another glance, the flickering light of the candle he had left burning before his departure was nearly snuffed out by the wind billowing through the balcony doors he had left open; he had always been a fan of the moonlight, of going out and looking up to the stars. Now the only sight that would greet him in the night sky was the illusory one casted over the Spire.

He was becoming a tired Cookie again. His body felt drained, and his eyelids heavy. The comforting thought of being able to escape to his dreams beckoned him so. He took a few steps towards his bed, feeling just about ready to collapse down onto it and sleep for an eternity, but he found himself coming to a stop — hesitating, unsure. Even while exhausted, he’s found that it has been incredibly difficult to… get his mind to relax and settle enough for sleep to come and take him. It’s no doubt due to the change in his living quarters. How could he relax while here?

He grips at his staff reflexively, thinking, before turning around. There, sitting in the chair of his room, is another one of the few minor changes Shadow Milk Cookie has made when copying his bedroom. He steps away from the bed and instead comes closer to it, using his free hand to gingerly pick the plush object up, holding it up to get a better look at it.

A stuffed doll, made in Shadow Milk Cookie’s likeness.

He gazes down at the toy for a moment, maybe even longer than that. What did Shadow Milk Cookie hope to accomplish by giving him such a thing? Did he… make it himself? The thought is almost amusing, adorable even. He did seem to have a knack for arts and crafts, his work a reflection of the amount of skill he had. Truthless Recluse can still remember how it felt to be placed on those puppet strings in place of Shadow Milk Cookie’s own props, as if he were some sort of living and breathing marionette that would bend to his will just for fun; just to help set the stage and participate in the act, his show.

And yet his heart aches for a certain kind of company tonight, despite the sweet lies it brings along with it. No, there was no doubt in his mind. Even through all the suffering brought upon him at the hands of Shadow Milk Cookie, Truthless Recluse knew he wasn’t going to get a wink of sleep tonight if he did not have him there by his side. It’s an unexplainable feeling, but the feeling is there nonetheless. If he could simply just get through the dark, deep abyss he has fallen into, he knows he will find the answers to all of his questions.

Why do his and Shadow Milk Cookie’s souls feel so interwoven? Why does Shadow Milk Cookie acts so contradictory? He knows now they both want connection, can see that what they’ve been searching for is most likely one another, but the mystery remains; Why is Shadow Milk Cookie so afraid to be truthful about it? Why does he still want to see Truthless Recluse suffer?

He had to stop, or he was going to drive himself mad until the illusion of daybreak crept through the curtains. Right, yes. Shadow Milk Cookie. How was Truthless Recluse going to call for him in the first place, and how was he going to get him into his bed with a straight face and without being questioned. This was going to be tricky, especially since he had left while upset at Truthless Recluse. No doubt that when asked, he was going to laugh in his face and call him pathetic, or something along those lines.

Truthless Recluse sets the Shadow Milk Cookie doll back on the chair, going over all the possibilities in his mind about what is going to happen and what Shadow Milk Cookie will do when he makes his foolish request known, feeling a sense of dread and anxiety course through him as he makes his way back to his bedroom door, trying to garner all the strength he can into opening it and calling out for Shadow Milk, swallowing thickly as he forces himself to finally do it and —

And… Now him and Shadow Milk Cookie are face to face again, both looking as shocked as the other one. Had Shadow Milk been…?

”…Have-“

”NO!”

Shadow Milk Cookie snaps defensively before Truthless Recluse can even get his question out, stunning him and causes him to blink a few times in a bewildered sense of confusion.

“But… You…” Truthless Recluse was on the verge of even pointing his finger at Shadow Milk Cookie in an accusatory action, but he let his hand fall back to his side as he instead shook his head, letting out a soft sigh, “No, it doesn’t matter. I’m… glad you’re here.”

Shadow Milk Cookie straightens up at that, his eyes widening, “What? You — You are?”

Truthless Recluse nods.

Shadow Milk Cookie’s surprise turns to suspicion in an instant, his eyes narrowing, “Why?”

“I’ve been unable to sleep,” Truthless Recluse explains, “Being away from home… it’s been hard. But, I thought that maybe if…”

He was struggling, and while he knew it was going to be difficult to swallow his pride and ask, it was even harder than he initially thought it would be. Was there even a point in being vulnerable and honest with Shadow Milk Cookie? Probably not. Then again, what else did he have left to lose anyway?

”Maybe if… We…”

That’s when it finally clicked for Shadow Milk Cookie, the realization of what Truthless Recluse was asking for washing over him in gleefully euphoric waves as a sadistic grin split across his face.

“OOHH~!”

Oh Witches, this was a mistake already.

“Nooo, surely not! You can’t be saying what I think you’re saying — That my innocent little Nilly wants to sleep with me~?!”

He has no qualms about floating right into Truthless Recluse’s bubble, reaching a hand out to start pinching at the other Cookie’s cheeks in a mockingly affectionate way, “My, my, how needy you’ve become in such a short amount of time.”

‘Though it would explain the eye-bags’ Shadow Milk Cookie thinks.

Truthless Recluse still grumbles and groans at the inappropriate and teasing remarks thrown his way, and he swats at Shadow Milk Cookie’s hand in attempt to get him to let go of his face, but really, Shadow Milk is not being nearly as cruel or crazy about this as Truthless Recluse was expecting him to be.

“Don’t make this more than it needs to be,” Truthless Recluse responds in an attempt to defend himself, “It will simply be harder to overthink or have nightmares if I have another Cookie by my side.”

“…Hmm.” Shadow Milk Cookie takes a pause at that, but his hand doesn’t move from Truthless Recluse’s cheek. He stares at him for what feels like the longest second of his life, his expression changing to convey something more akin to a contemplative expression, though his eyes are still wide. Eventually his facial features relax, but he still looks almost uncertain.

“Even if that other Cookie is me?”

Ah. Now Truthless Recluse got what he was getting at. He hadn’t really thought about how Shadow Milk Cookie must have not realized it yet, even now. They are meant to be together.

He glances away from Shadow Milk Cookie’s sweeping gaze, choosing to look the side instead as peering into Shadow Milk’s mismatched eyes for so long was getting to be too much.

”Yes…”

He glances back at him for a moment, his dully colored eyes glinting with a hint of sincerity.

“Even if it’s you.”

Especially because it’s you.

Wait, did he really mean to think that?

Shadow Milk Cookie keeps Truthless Recluse’s attention, squeezing his cheeks one last time with an acknowledging hum. He removes his hands from Truthless Recluse’s face, letting out a melodramatic sigh, “Oh, it’s hard to stay mad at you my silly little Cookie, especially when you say such sweet things! Fret not, your favorite entertainer will choose to selflessly help you in this time of need!”

Another sinister grin finds its way back to Shadow Milk Cookie’s lips again, but it’s smaller this time. More gentle? There’s little time to study it thoroughly before Shadow Milk Cookie is grabbing Truthless Recluse’s shoulders, spinning him around and ushering him back inside of his room, closing the door shut behind them.

Shadow Milk Cookie’s hands don’t linger for long on Truthless Recluse’s shoulders, as he’s already releasing the Cookie and floating around the room, taking it all in like he had never seen it fully before despite being the one who made it. It’s possible he was doing it just for show, as not long after taking a few looks around here and there, he already made his way over to the bed, sitting on the edge of it.

It almost feels weirdly domestic, and Truthless Recluse is unsure of how to handle that feeling. He takes a moment to make a few last minute preparations, firstly going over to the balcony to close its doors, keeping the cold winds from disturbing them in their peaceful slumber. Then, he makes his way to his desk to snuff his candle out mercifully, finally letting it rest. Lastly, he comes to the bed, where Shadow Milk Cookie is waiting for him, and rests his staff against the wall on the side he usually chooses to lay. Now without it, he has only his original poor eyesight to rely on.

”Well… I suppose it’s time to get in bed.”

He reaches a hand out, feeling around in the soft fabrics of the sheets and comforter before finding the edges of both to pull them back, and once he does he’s able to slip inside and put his head back against the pillow. Shadow Milk Cookie is still sitting on the edge of the bed, and what from Truthless Recluse can make out, he’s not looking at him.

It wouldn’t be surprising in the slightest if he was hesitating, Truthless Recluse is aware that this moment feels rather intimate. Even if this was happening because Truthless Recluse had asked, that this was something he was doing for his sake, it still must be hard for Shadow Milk Cookie to grapple with the fact that he’s going to be putting himself in a vulnerable position; to be asleep beside another Cookie.

He opens his mouth to say something, but Shadow Milk Cookie is already on the move. He situates himself on the other side, doing the same thing Truthless Recluse had with pulling both the sheets and comforter aside so that he can wiggle right into the bed, his head coming to rest on the pillow right beside Truthless Recluse’s.

Now they’re face to face, and it seems like neither of them know what to say. They only look into each other’s eyes, blinking and breathing together in silence. Shadow Milk Cookie looks unusually calm and normal like this. No, Shadow Milk Cookie can be composed, but there’s always an undercurrent of malice to that composure. Here, it feels unnaturally absent.

Perhaps it’s a blessing in disguise, as Truthless Recluse can feel himself starting to relax, his body and mind finally succumbing to the fatigue. His breathing is starting to slow, and his eyelids droop to only be open half-way. His eyes begin to drift from Shadow Milk Cookie’s face down to his Soul Jam, illuminated by the faux moonlight peaking in through the curtains. The sight brings a faint ache to his chest, right where his own Soul Jam used to be.

He’s reaching a hand out without thinking, but before his fingertips can find purchase, Shadow Milk Cookie is grabbing hold of his wrist. This is almost enough to be pulled out of his trance, but Shadow Milk Cookie doesn’t give him the chance to think further before he feels a hand in the hollow of where his Soul Jam would be resting if he were to still have it. It sends an invisible jolt through him, having Shadow Milk Cookie’s fingers caressing against his chest.

‘Oh, Shadow Milk Cookie…’

His eyes flutter, nearly coming to a full close, until he feels it. His hand, kept in place by Shadow Milk Cookie, is being guided forward, until he feels it. The Soul Jam of Deceit, beneath his fingertips. His breath hitches, the warmth of Shadow Milk Cookie’s fingers residing as the other has let him go, leaving him alone with the Soul Jam to do what he pleases.

And so he shall —  he will take this opportunity to give Shadow Milk Cookie this small pleasure. A singular caress, with his fingers starting at the top of the Soul Jam, and sliding gently, and oh so ever slowly down to the bottom of it. Shadow Milk Cookie shivers, and with this Truthless Recluse allows his eyes to finally, completely close for the night.

’You truly are a pitiful creature.’