Archive of Our Own

Present Day, Sept 2nd, 2013 - Room 620

Cressida shifted against the wall, her palm slick with sweat as she gripped her phone tightly. The line was ringing, and ringing, and ringing. Honestly, perhaps this was a sign she shouldn’t be doing this. A sign she shouldn’t have even done this in the first place-

Voicemail.

It’s Eloise Bridgerton. Leave a message.

Okay, she didn’t pick up. That was good, it was exactly what she wanted. Right? Her plane was probably still touching down. So why was she freaking out? She’d planned for this!

She’d stalked several different flights, and Eloise’s Instagram, to determine the woman had to be on one of two flights. Since she’d never known Eloise to be a particularly early riser, the later flight had to be the pick. From there it wasn’t hard to track the flight, wait until final descent, and then call.

Though now, it was becoming clear, she had not prepared to say something coherent enough for the other woman to find in her messages. Something that would make her call back! Or at least something that wouldn’t be weird. Because it wasn’t weird. It was just the first time they were in the same city since graduation. It was fine to want to connect. Right? They’d been friends… Before. It was all her stupid therapists' idea, anyway.

She could blame her if it went bad.

Beep!

“Hi,” Cressida rushed out, she couldn’t mess this up, “It’s Cressida, I know you just landed.” Say more! “And I know you’re probably busy,” Good. Good, she has the convention after all. Just bring it around, “But, I would love to see you so…” She trailed off racking her brain, how does one end a call to a former school crush? More than crush, “Call me when you can.”

Click.

Great.

Well, good enough.

What else can you really say to someone you haven’t been in the same city as, much less spoken to in about seven years?

Cressida moved away from the wall she’d been using for support, and she flopped back onto her hotel suite's rather uncomfortable couch.

She let herself get lost in the rain, watching as it fell just beyond the large window that framed her bed on the far wall. The room was enormous, it was one of the biggest ones she’d had booked for a New York Fashion Week yet. It had massive floor to ceiling windows with all luxury furniture in an off-white cream colour to match the fake gold embellishments. It felt very faux royalty. There had even been free champagne that she wouldn’t end up drinking, paired with chocolate strawberries she wouldn’t eat, set out for her when she’d arrived.

The promises her agency had been making for years, at last seemed to be coming true. All her hard work, finally paying off. She had better lodging, a better budget, better runway walks for better brands and for a lot more money. She should be happy. She should be out with her friends, sipping at a single white wine all night and making connections. Leading rich men along behind her to buy her and her friends drinks, or jewellery or a private jet ride. Whatever she, or more aptly they, wanted.

Instead she’s in her hotel room lost in her thoughts.

Chased by the memory of a much younger Eloise with a much younger Cressida, in another world all together. They had been at a sleepover, one her mother had to be coerced into allowing Cressida to attend. Eloise had planned it for just a few months before she graduated, just the two of them, and Cressida had not been about to complain. She and Penelope had been on the outs over some argument Eloise had refused to share, but Cressida truly didn’t care.

It was a relief to have the middleman out of the way in her quiet pining.

Not that Cressida was jealous.

She had no reason to be.

It was Penelope’s only redeeming quality that she happened to be head over heels in love with the idiotic Colin Bridgerton. Cressida could not fathom what she’d ever seen in the boy, nearly every time Cressida had seen him through their entire youth he’d been stuffing his mouth.

What on earth was alluring about that?

Honestly, she couldn’t see half the hype the public eye ascribed to the Bridgerton Clan. Her thoughts on their manners didn’t seem to be shared by anyone else. As teenage hormones consumed them all, the girls their age always had eyes for no one but Anthony, Benedict and Colin. Whoever didn’t watch them, often couldn’t keep their eyes from Daphne or Francesca. When Hyacinth and Gregory came of age, she’s sure they drew the same attention among their peers. She just… Hadn’t been around to see that. At least they both seemed happily partnered now.

Regardless, it baffled Cressida. Truly baffled her.

Everyone watched the rest of them like the sun shined from their very beings. There was always a questioning look from those cast to the sibling that trailed behind, the sibling that Cressida couldn’t forget. Not even if she tried.

Eloise Bridgerton.

Always tucked into some corner, her nose in a book, or scribbling away on a scrap of paper. She was always by far the smartest in any of her classes, Cressida had been fascinated from her very first sight of the shy Bridgerton girl. However, her mother’s reputation, and by default her own, preceded her. She’d been turned away before she’d even been able to present a case for herself. It had taken years from that first fateful meeting for her to worm her way into Eloise’s good graces. She’d eventually succeeded the summer before she began sixth form. They’d run into each other alone tucked in a back corner of the library, Cressida had taken to hiding there to avoid some of the more unsavoury pressures bearing down from her father.

Eloise had been poised to stomp off shortly after her arrival, but Cressida simply slid to the side and tapped the edge of the bench beside her. Eloise had hesitated only for a moment before dropping beside her. Cressida had absolutely buzzed at their proximity, Eloise was stunning in the afternoon light cast down from above. The light blue of her jumper, paired with her light grey trousers, made her look so soft. Cressida wanted to lean into her, instead she proudly remained rigidly in place, her eyes trained back on her book.

The minutes between them grew and Eloise kept sighing dramatically, plus Cressida continually caught the brown haired girl sneaking glances at her from the corner of her eyes. Cressida steeled herself and glanced over, “Yes?” She tried to keep her tone open, but she remained ready to go on the defence.

It was hard to know with Eloise.

It turned out, much to Cressida’s confused delight that Eloise took that moment to decide they were friends. Apparently Penelope had ruined their day and decided to go off with Colin of all people and go riding. Cressida had to hide her smile when Eloise had loudly exclaimed, “What is it 1845?!” The librarian had to usher them out at that point- It had been their third warning, she really couldn’t blame the poor woman.

It was hard to be disappointed when Eloise had opened up this much to her, but to come to the end of their time together felt more bitter than sweet. In Cressida’s utter shock, the moment they pushed out the doors to the warm summer air; Eloise simply looped their arms together, and pulled her back to the Bridgerton's London residence. From that moment on, even once Penelope and Eloise mended their brief rift, Cressida was in. After a short closed door conversation, that to this day she still doesn’t know the content of, Penelope accepted her and the duo became a trio.

All the way up until she graduated, and she ran her bloody mouth just enough to ensure they never spoke again.

Cressida had felt untouchable for those few precious years, even though perhaps many of her former friends and current ‘work associates’ viewed that as her temporary fall from grace. Apparently, she’d only reclaimed it after she’d begun to climb the ranks of the London fashion scene, as one of the most sought after runway models in town. From there, it hadn’t taken long for her name to spread, and soon she was on a plane to every corner of the world with a camera.

She’d seen things some people probably only ever dreamed of. She’d been out to dinner with men that probably had more of a hand in the world than most politicians, they’d bought her time and offered her the chance to elevate her status. Her pictures were plastered on the side of buildings, spread across magazine centrefolds, and smiling out from behind screens; for some make-up product or fashion brand or whatever paid the best.

In anyone else’s eyes she was living the life of her dreams, but she felt trapped.

No matter where she went, no matter what she did, or who she did it with. She couldn’t stop thinking about going back seven years, to the last time things felt okay between the two of them.

Eloise had to call back, she had to call back and prove to Cressida that that night, and the conversation that followed hadn’t been a big deal, that they could move past it. That she got busy, and Eloise had too, and they’d just drifted apart. She needed to know that she could get back the one person she’d missed most over these last lonely years.

She needed to get out from under the haunting weight of that night and every misunderstanding that had distanced them over time. The rain pounded against the glass of her hotel window, and she wrapped a blanket tightly around her shoulders as the memory of that night settled around her like a dream.

~

Seven Years Ago, May 27th, 2006 - Bridgerton House

Eloise’s face was split in a wide grin when she ripped the door open, “Good! I wasn’t sure you’d actually be let out of the house to make it here.”

“I almost wasn’t,” Cressida shrugged her bag up on her shoulder as she gave Eloise an appraising look, “Your mum called to ask if I had any allergies at just the right time. Forced the politeness of society on her and I got sent on my way.”

“Huh, how convenient,” Eloise said as she smiled at Cressida, the picture of innocence, “It couldn’t possibly be that I mentioned something about you recently having taken an allergy test.”

“I did not recently take an allergy test.”

“No, but, now you’re here,” Eloise’s reached forward and yanked Cressida inside, “I wasn’t going to let you rot at home, while I have a remarkably fun evening planned for us.”

Cressida burned with satisfaction, and gripped Eloise back as they slipped through the expansive halls to disappear into Eloise’s rooms. Though truly it was more of her own flat, she had a bathroom, a sitting room, and then the room that housed her bed itself.

Her father was well off, but the Bridgerton's were on another level entirely.

“Well, what’s this fun evening I’ve heard all about then?” Cressida asked as she dropped her bag by Eloise’s bed and ignored the jitter of butterflies in her stomach.

Eloise waggled her eyebrows and jumped behind Cressida, “You’ll see,” She singsonged as her hands moved to block Cressida’s sight.

Cressida’s breath hitched, Eloise was so close she could feel the warmth of her against her back, “Well, now I’m not so sure of that.”

“Shut up,” Eloise teased as she prodded Cressida forward, and led her through to the sitting room, “It’s a surprise.”

Cressida stepped carefully along, ignoring the thunderous beat of her heart until the intoxicating presence vanished, except she still couldn’t see.

“You can open your eyes,” Eloise whispered, her voice low, but there was no mirth in it. Cressida could almost convince herself Eloise could feel the same tension that was pulled tight in the air between them.

“Right.” Her cheeks were surely a bright red as she opened her eyes and looked at what lay before her.

The room had been entirely rearranged, all the tables were shoved up against the far wall. The chairs had been set to complete a circle utilizing the couch and the television set to close it out. The curtains had been stripped from the walls and laid out over the chairs, tied down and draped to form the roof and walls.

Cressida gasped as she eyed the structure and the soft light coming from within it, “What-”

“Well, I remembered that you said not only had you never had a sleepover, you’d never done a pillow fort either… So, I made one,” Eloise fidgeted for a moment and Cressida could see it as she geared up to ramble, “If it’s stupid, we don’t have to do it. We can eat dinner with my family and watch something downstairs afterward if you want-”

“No! You’re perfect-” Cressida held back the tears that threatened to fall as they pricked the backs of her eyes, “I- I mean, it’s perfect. This is perfect. Thank you, Eloise.”

Eloise's cheeks almost seemed tinged pink in this light, but Cressida was rather sure that was nothing but a trick of the dim light. Or it was just her damned heart grasping at straws, looking for anything her hope could hold onto in the face of years of unrequited feelings.

“Of course! I’m glad you like it,” Eloise said as she suddenly darted forward and parted a hidden flap in the curtains along the side of the fort. She bowed and mockingly announced, “Here! My lady, right this way.”

Cressida played along, and gave Eloise a curtsy before she dropped to her knees, and crawled within the fort. If her breath had left her for a moment when she’d caught a look of the exterior, her lungs had been robbed, now. Electric candles scattered about lit the interior, along with the subtle glow of the black paused screen. A veritable mound of blankets and pillows were amassed at the foot of the couch with a clear cave, just about the right size for the two of them, hollowed out. Mounds of crisps and drinks had been scattered along either side, while there were more stacked behind them on the cushion-less couch, ready to come forward and replace as needed.

Eloise’s voice from behind her interrupted her inspection of the fort, “I wasn’t entirely sure what all you liked and didn’t like, so I just got a bit of everything.” The other girl clambered past her, shrugging as if what she’d said was nothing, before she climbed into the blanket pile and patted the spot beside her.

“I- Thank you,” Cressida swallowed past the lump in her throat and kicked her shoes off before she slipped into the warm bubble that the blankets offered within their already secluded fort.

Eloise reached over to flip open her laptop that seemed to be connected to the big screen, and Cressida couldn’t help but feel, as if they were in another world entirely. One where it could just be the two of them, tucked together in the false firelight as night fell.

Cressida caught herself lost, watching Eloise, when the sound of the opening caught her, and she scoffed out a laugh, “Seriously? Again?”

“Yes!” Eloise huffed back as she poked her tongue out at Cressida, “It’s our tradition. Now, watch, Regina.”

Cressida rolled her eyes, but she did lean back into Eloise when the woman pressed close, as Mean Girls began to roll on the screen before them. They’d watched it nearly every time they’d hung out first that summer, it had just been released and the three of them could get enough. Eloise eventually spoke out to claim that Cressida was quite the Regina. Cressida had only stewed in unease for a few minutes as she tried to figure out how to feel about that- Eloise saved her from the torture when she’d mumbled, almost unconsciously, when Regina came out in a black leather skirt, “Ugh, she’s ridiculously hot, for a girl.”

Cressida had felt satisfaction lance through her, and she’d easily settled back into her spot. While she did definitely agree, she’d never been able to decide if she’d wanted Regina or if she’d wanted to be Regina. At that moment, back then, she’d known where she fell on that scale.

“Sure thing, Janis.”

Eloise huffed back at Cressida’s reply, but after all this time she’d stopped fighting it. If Cressida was Regina, Eloise was Janis, no doubt about it. They’d decided that Penelope could be Damian and the woman barely fought it. Entirely engrossed in a discussion with Colin instead. The two had begun to grow rather close right when Eloise had looped Cressida into their group, and it hadn’t let up.

They’d begun dating shortly after that same summer.

The opening scene was just beginning as a loud knock and Anthony’s voice cut through their sanctuary, “El?”

Eloise jumped slightly, jerking away from where they were pressed close together, before she clambered out of the blankets to slip to her door. Cressida could barely make out a hushed conversation before Eloise slipped back in with a stack of several pizza boxes and some ciders piled high in her arms.

Cressida simply raised her eyes and Eloise shrugged, slipping back in beside her and flatting the blankets out to spread out her score, “There were a lot of options. Didn’t want to actually have my mum ask yours what you fancied for a pizza, I didn’t think it would have the same effect.”

“You are correct,” Cressida said with a surprised laugh, and she observed only for a moment. She watched for a moment as Eloise whipped a box open, dragged a slice of cheese towards herself and tire into it, the second a groan of appreciation escaped Eloise- Cressida dug in, alongside her.

They ate quietly together as the movie filled the quiet air of their fort, tucked away from it all. Eloise’s attention was trained on the screen as she ate, absorbed in the movie even though it was the hundredth plus time they’d seen it, the same way she always was. Cressida knew, because, well- She was watching Eloise, the same way she always did. Watching the way the light reflected off the curve of her jaw, and the way her lips parted as they mouthed along to a few of Janis’s lines.

Watching the same movie again, and again, and again never got tiring for Eloise; and watching Eloise, never got tiring for Cressida. It was so easy to get lost in the other woman, in the way her blue eyes seemed to be almost flecked with grey. In the sharp curve of her brow, and the elegant slope of her neck. Cressida could find no piece of art or scrap of clothing that could compare to the beauty before her. She loved watching the joy and shock as it played out across Eloise’s face, pressing close when the heavy moments weighed in.

Eloise was enraptured as usual while Regina lorded over her underlings, except out of nowhere Eloise broke their standard, “You know.”

Cressida quickly jerked her head back to the screen, right as Eloise looked over to her, “Hm?”

“A lot of people theorize that she’s a lesbian,” Eloise said the word casually, as if it could just come right off her tongue. Cressida wasn't sure she could say it without turning bright red, and then what was she supposed to do? Admit why? That wasn’t likely.

“Oh?” Cressida swallowed thickly and dove for another piece of pizza, anything to keep herself busy.

“Yeah,” Eloise shrugged nonchalantly, but Cressida could see the forced casualty behind it. Her eyes never left Cressida as if she was reading her every move for something, “Some people think she had a thing for Janis and that’s why she was so mean to her.”

Cressida’s stomach bottomed out. There’s no way Eloise could be hinting at…

Cressida was careful, she went out on dates with men, when asked, and kept her glances respectful and friendly whenever Eloise could see her. Plus, she had quite literally never spoken a word of her crush since the moment it had been born. Out of a fear of this very moment. Plus, who would she tell, her friends? They’d probably oust her for being a lesbo, and then laugh about it behind her back. Her only other option was Penelope, and for obvious reasons, that would never be happening.

Cressida swallowed the bite of pizza in her mouth, and tried to paint herself the picture of normalcy. She shrugged, like it could be nothing to her, like the implication that Regina liking Janis, wasn’t all too close to her truth that sat like an elephant between them now, “I could see that. They could be good together.”

Her response came out almost strained, but it was the best she could do in the situation, at least Eloise seemed to be pacified with what she saw. The younger girl gave her one last lingering look before turning back to the screen and taking a deep pull of the cider she had tucked into the blankets beside her. Cressida turned back to the movie, watching with a tense awareness until Eloise seemed to fade back into the movie as the trio’s scheme built to its inevitable demise.

Once Cressida was sure it was safe, she glanced back over at the enigma of a woman beside her. That conversation could have stemmed from a hundred different things, it could be hard to follow Eloise’s train of thought once it was far enough down the line. Perhaps it was nothing more than the relaying of fact between friends. Maybe she had no idea the storm of inner turmoil she had set off within Cressida.

The movie passed and Cressida stewed, the ciders dwindled between them and her mind buzzed with the alcohol. She was having an impossibly hard time keeping her eyes off of Eloise. In the faux candlelight, under the influence of her fifth cider, Cressida thought she looked like an angel.

Damian was yelling out a familiar, ‘She doesn’t even go here!’ when Eloise suddenly turned again, catching Cressida’s heavy gaze still trained so intently on her. Cressida didn’t bother hiding it this time, she’d been too obvious to hope to. Usually, Eloise’s attention wouldn’t break away from the film once the burn book, until Regina got hit by the bus, then she would flinch to the right. At that moment, Cressida would already be looking straight forward engrossed in the film once more.

It was a tried and true routine!

Now that they were alone, Eloise continued to break them out of everything she’d grown comfortable with.

“What?” Eloise softly asked, her hand coming up to brush at her face, as if Cressida had been watching a crumb, or smear of sauce.

“Nothing,” Cressida easily dismissed as she settled back, grasping at anything she could, “Just thinking.” Eloise raised her eyebrow questioningly, and Cressida spit out the first thing she could think of, “About- What would have happened if it was us in there. I just- Can’t help but think if that had been us, what might have been different.”

Eloise watched Cressida for a moment, and the blonde kept her eyes trained on the screen in response. She wouldn’t let Eloise find any trace of dishonesty in her. The sharp gaze remained locked on her for only a moment before it turned back, “I think we’d fare better than any of them, but… Really, I think if now isn’t the time to make stupid risky plans, that may or may not be mistakes, when is?”

Cressida tried not to look, she really did, but she couldn’t help it, Eloise was always a magnet for her attention. This time, Eloise’s gaze was already back on her when she looked, their eyes connecting, Cressida felt like time stopped between them; in this little pocket, tucked away from the rest of the world.

This was dangerous territory.

Somewhere in the back of her mind a red alert alarm was blaring.

“I don’t know, I think it’s rather good to play it a bit safe. Plus I’m not sure how much better I’d be to be honest,” That was a lie, she hoped she’d be a lot better than Regina, but she was just grasping at anything to diffuse the sudden tension that had begun to simmer between them, “Though, I would hopefully avoid being hit by a bus.”

Eloise snorted and bumped playfully against her, “Please, I know you’d be better than her. After all, look at us,” Cressida inhaled sharply when Eloise didn’t pull back, “And, anyway? I think playing it safe is for when you're older, and might throw out a back or a hip.”

They were so close, the movie still played on behind them, but this time neither of them spared a glance for it. Cressida swallowed thickly as she tried to force her mind to catch up with Eloise. What could she possibly mean with all of this? She couldn’t mean what Cressida hoped she meant, right?

Eloise leaned closer and Cressida was sure of it that time, the other girl had looked directly at her lips.

Cressida’s gaze flickered down in response, and she drifted forward on instinct alone. It had to be instinct, because if she’d been even slightly present and paying attention, she would have stopped things. She would have thought about everything that comes with kissing your very straight best friend when you are packed so deeply in the closet you can’t see the light from the open door.

Unfortunately, her mind had left her, she was full of the pleasant buzz of the cider and the warmth and security of their world away from it all.

Did it matter what they were?

Did any of it matter? Maybe Eloise was right. She often was. Maybe this was the time to make mistakes. Plus, how could anything with Eloise be a mistake?

The onscreen students began jumping for joy or anger over something, Cressida wasn’t sure what, she wasn’t even sure what movie they were watching any more. Her heartbeat was planted firmly in her throat, and her palms sweat from where they lay, tangled in the blankets. Eloise was so close to her. Had they ever been this close before? Certainly not when Cressida had been awake.

Eloise shifted closer and as she leaned towards her, an arm wrapped around Cressida’s back. There was a moment's hesitation before the hand settled against her waist, pressing in, as if afraid it might be ripped away. As if Cressida would ever be able to bring herself to deny Eloise anything. Truthfully, though she couldn’t deny herself the chance to soak up the contact, so she had something to hold onto whenever they parted.

Cressida attempted to not so subtly wipe the sweat from her palms, before she allowed one trembling hand to come up, and tuck a stray piece of hair behind Eloise’s ear. The other woman leaned into her hand and Cressida gasped. It felt like her entire body was buzzing with their proximity, all of her atoms unifying to cry out ‘Eloise!’, “Oh.”

“Is that okay?” Eloise’s voice was rough, but quiet, and the force of it rang through Cressida’s mind like the toll of a bell. It was like the dreams she always worked so hard to lock down, and repress, had crawled out to face her during the light of day- er, fake candles.

“Yes,” Cressida hardly recognized her own voice, it was more of a rush of air, than actual words. Cressida felt curious fingers slide up her forearm, and wrap loosely around her wrist in response, the shiver that ran through her was entirely involuntary. Eloise’s calloused fingers tightened around her wrist and Cressida found herself drifting forwards, closing the small amount of distance that remained between them.

The world had felt unsteady for what felt like the last hour, but couldn’t have been more than a few seconds until everything steadied, and Cressida got to experience everything she never thought she would. Eloise leaned in and after a moment's hesitation her eyes fluttered shut, and she swayed forward.

It was now or never.

Cressida leaned in, and their lips pressed together, only for a second before their teeth clashed, but Eloise simply shifted. Cressida was certain her neck had grown a bright red to compliment her cheeks, but her eyes fluttered shut, and she melted into Eloise. Each uncoordinated press of their lips improved, until Cressida caught Eloise’s lips without interruption, and Eloise made the most intoxicating sound into their kiss.

Cressida was certain she would never be able to forget that noise for as long as she might live. Eloise Bridgerton had absolutely ruined her with just one kiss. Not that Cressida needed the kiss to confirm that Eloise would always haunt her. She had already hovered just a thought away at any given moment for far too long.

All because of once glance, years ago.

She hadn’t even known it was coming.

Just an unexpected encounter, a few moments of a heart stopping smile- That hadn’t even been directed at her!- and she was a goner.

She’d seen countless pretty faces, male and female every day since, but none of them could compare. None of them could outshine her, even when her looks from Eloise were typically accompanied by anger or irritation. It didn’t matter, Eloise could have been practically hopping mad at her for some perceived slight or another, and Cressida would still find her absolutely perfect. Cressida had fallen hard and fast. She couldn’t have done a damned thing to stop it either. She’d tried. She’d gone as far as to snog a drunk girl at a club she should not have been at and go out with the Debling boy for a few months last year.

None of it mattered. Not really. Eventually, Eloise’s name would so much as pop into her mind, and she was a goner.

Eloise nipped at Cressida’s lip and Cressida shifted slightly, anything to bring them closer. She wasn’t even sure what she was going to do to accomplish that, pull Eloise into her or press closer herself; turns out it didn’t matter. When Cressida moved it was as if something in Eloise had clicked back into the realm of reality, from where they’d fallen into the world of Cressida’s most private thoughts. She pulled abruptly back and her hand fell away from Cressida’s wrist, she flashed a shaky smile and shrugged-

As if her world had not just been rewritten around this singular point in time.

“Best time for making mistakes, right?” Eloise asked laughing, as if snogging your best friend was just a mistake. As if it meant nothing, just something you do. For anyone else- Hell, for Eloise, it might be just two very straight, best friends doing something ridiculous they could both forget about the next morning.

Except, Cressida couldn’t forget about this.

It’s only been a minute and that soft sound Eloise made still felt fresh in her ears.

“Yeah,” She found herself muttering on autopilot, “Right.”

~

Present Day, Sept 3rd, 2013 - Room 620

Cressida jolted awake as her phone buzzed somewhere lost in the cushions beside her. She blinked blearily against the light, her hand instinctively moving to search through the blankets and couch cushions. The buzzing continued, and she tossed a few things on to the floor, if it was her agent she was going to get an earful about not picking up because she’s out partying; when she most definitely is not. She dove to the end of the couch as the ringing dragged on, and her hand finally met the phone- Right as it gave its final buzz.

Phone now in hand, and eyes mostly clear from sleep she propped herself up from where she’d drifted off on the couch. Entirely, lost in a time when things had somehow felt more hopeful than they did now with a flourishing career ahead of her. At least, as long as her agent wasn’t too mad at her for missing the call.

The world still felt slightly fuzzy as she turned the phone and her screen flashed on. She froze, wide awake- That was not her agent.

One new voicemail from Eloise Bridgerton.

Who returns a call at 2:30am?! Likely someone intentionally trying to get her voicemail. Unless Eloise suddenly became a prolific partier and only just arrived back at her hotel… Which admittedly was unlikely.

So, she wants to avoid her, huh? Play Cressida’s hand against her.

Well, she would see about that.

That is, once she managed to actually open and listen to the message, now glaring at her from her phone screen. Her heart hammered in her chest as she got lost in everything the voice mail could contain. It’s not like she was afraid of it, more so that she was afraid of what it meant. Would this give her what she needed to end this decade-long crush? Or would it give them both the chance for something… More?

Either way, it would be the first time she’d heard Eloise’s voice directed at her since their last talk, the night of her graduation. It had been the first time they’d spoken alone together since their sleepover. It had… Not gone well, to say the least. It’s hard to say exactly whose fault it was. One of them cut first, or maybe they’d both gone at the same time, and then they’d both been too hard-headed to back down.

For seven years.

Enough was enough. She’d seen Eloise’s name on a flyer for some convention in town the same time as her work in New York and vowed to squash this silliness between them before she chickened out. It had been a goal of her for years now. She wasn’t out, but she wasn't not out, so it didn’t need to be something that really even stood between them this time. She didn’t need to start waving pride flags and screaming it from the streets, but she would be open, she would talk about it. She just needed her best friend back. It didn’t matter what petty disagreements they had when it meant she didn’t have the other woman in her life.

They could fix it. She was probably remembering it to be a lot worse than it had been anyway.

Really, it can’t have been that bad.

~

Seven Years Ago, June 23rd, 2006 - London Street Corner

Cressida’s friends were up the street, waiting for her, she’d agreed to go out with them tonight.

After nearly a full month of being outright avoided by Eloise she’d fallen back into hanging out with the horrid gossiping bunch of them. It was better than walking the halls alone or standing uncomfortably with Penelope between them while Eloise avoided her gaze like the plague. At least it gave her something to do other than obsess over what went wrong.

What she could have done differently.

The rest of the night had gone fine! At least she thought it had? Things had been a little awkward, but she just figured that would go away with time. The next morning though Cressida had woken to find Eloise had moved in the night, to the couch in the next room. When her mother rang to inform her that a car was on its way for her, Eloise had on;y said a stiff goodbye before disappearing.

It had been all too easy for Cressida to write that off as Eloise’s typical morning grumpiness. Until Monday morning came, and Eloise’s cold shoulder began. She would have tried to fight it, but she knows Eloise. The woman wasn’t going to back down until she was ready.

No matter what.

So Cressida waited, and did her best to get by without Eloise in her day to day. She found herself missing Eloise like a lost limb. Something that should have been there, should have been right beside her, but she was nowhere to be found.

Eloise had finally snagged her at their school graduation ceremony, slipping away from Daphne to find her. Eloise hadn’t let her get a word in, it had been a quick plea to meet afterwards, more of a demand really. Then Eloise had given her a sharp look before she gave the destination and time and well-

Here Cressida was.

Waiting.

She’d told her friends to wait around the corner for her, said that it was her latest uni boy hookup wanting to talk. She’d promised to let him down quickly, but Eloise had yet to even show up. Her eyes scanned out at the mostly empty street once again, and she huffed, a month of being ignored and Eloise has the audacity to then be late to her own meeting.

This was pointless.

Cressida turned to give up and go back to her so-called friends and there, standing before her, looking extremely unsure was none other than, Eloise Bridgerton.

“Ah,” Cressida tried to control her reaction, but she couldn’t help but let her eyes roam over all of Eloise in the way she hadn’t got the chance to earlier, “There you are.”

If it was something to see her again, it was something else entirely to be alone, this close to her once more. She’d clearly gone home to change, now in beige trousers and one of her favoured blue jumpers. It was one of Cressida’s top three, it made Eloise look so small and soft, she couldn’t help but always long to wrap her up in her arms and never let go. Cressida couldn’t help but think back to the last time she’d seen Eloise looking this soft, and the clumsy pressing of lips that followed.

“Here I am,” Eloise gave her a half smile and waved before she pulled her hand back down shaking her head, “Sorry I took so long, mum was being weird about me going out again, with Daph graduating and everything.”

Cressida just nodded and crossed her arms over her chest as she gave Eloise an appraising look. She may not be sure what went wrong but by now she’s got quite a few theories built up. Especially since Eloise had begun hanging around with the editor of the school's paper almost immediately after their kiss. She’d never even heard Eloise mention him before, but suddenly any time Cressida was looking for her, she had to go because she was ‘busy’ with him.

“Well, it is a family occasion,” Cressida stated simply sniffing as she crossed her arms together, hoping it looked like she were bracing against the nonexistent cold. Though it probably looked exactly as it felt, a sad girl's desperate attempt at holding herself together as her heart began to splinter in her chest.

“Er, right,” Eloise gave her a slightly puzzled look, but something like that was never anything that could stop her friend when fired up, “Anyway, I figured we better just get this squashed. That night was weird, but you don’t need to keep being weird around me or anything any more. It doesn’t have to be a problem if we don’t let it- I mean, friends do that kind of thing at sleepovers all the time. I don’t expect anything from you.”

Somehow- Cressida doubted that other girls did this sort of this all the time.

Anyway! She wasn’t the one doing the avoiding in the first place. It had not been her that was unable to look Eloise in the eye in the last month.

Cressida scoffed slightly, “Right.”

Eloise seemed to bristle at her response, and Cressida found herself rising to the challenge, even though she really wasn’t even sure why this was happening. It was perhaps the one rather large downsides to the two of them disagreeing.

“Well, it’s nothing okay?” Eloise’s words came out as they always did, a simple statement of fact and Cressida felt shame build, “It doesn’t have to be this big thing. It was a mistake, I shouldn’t have done it, okay?”

This time Cressida couldn’t hide the way she winced at Eloise’s words. A mistake. Maybe that’s all it was for Eloise… Cressida would do anything for that to be all it was for her. It wasn’t a mistake. She couldn’t bring herself to call that perfect, beautiful moment a mistake. It was everything she’d ever dreamed of. It hadn’t stopped replaying in her mind over and over again since the moment it occurred. Sometimes she could feel the press of Eloise’s lips against her own, as if they were still back in that space, tucked out of time.

“A mistake?” The words were out before Cressida could stop them, they were beyond dismissive, and panic filled her. There were scant few ways to make it out of this without revealing everything she’d only just actually admitted to herself. It had been impossible to deny it when their technically awful kiss haunted her, while any uncoordinated pawing from the boys their age tended to actually bore her. Half the time she spent with them was used to plan her next day's outfit; on the other side, thinking of anything, but Eloise felt impossible when they were together. Hell, even when they were apart, Cressida couldn’t get her out of her head.

The other woman’s gaze turned penetrating and Cressida suddenly felt as if she were one of Eloise’s maths assignments, carefully being unravelled, piece by piece. Cressida shifted beneath her assessing look, it was impossible to know what was going on in that curious mind. Always five steps ahead of anyone else even trying to play the same game as her.

There was only one reason she would be pushing these things. Did Eloise truly know? Was she trying to force her out? No- That wasn’t Eloise. No matter what, Cressida knew that Eloise would never force her out if she really knew. So what was this? What game were they playing?

“Yeah, Cressida,” Eloise eventually sighed, once it became clear Cressida wasn’t going to add anything onto that as she panicked internally, “A mistake? You know, a misguided action or judgement. People do make those.”

Misguided action, hit like a bus.

Cressida really felt her connection with Regina at that exact moment, “Yes! Thank you, Eloise,” She snapped out reflexively, “I am well aware of what a bloody mistake is.”

Eloise crossed her arms and shrugged, “I dunno, sometimes it doesn’t exactly seem like it.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You know what it means.”

“I literally wouldn’t have asked otherwise!”

“Ugh! Not everything has to be perfect, Cressida.”

“I do not think everything has to be perfect!”

“Oh, you so do!”

Cressida had to hold back the unbelievably childish urge to stomp her foot to the ground and shout, like that would do her any good. She did her best to gather herself before she replied again, “Just because some of us have standards doesn’t mean we demand perfection.”

Eloise’s eyes widened, and she stepped backwards, “Oh, standards is it?”

“Ugh, you know that’s not what I mean-” Cressida finally just ripped the plaster off and threw her hands up in the air, they couldn’t keep doing this, but she wasn’t going to say it first, “What are we even talking about, Eloise?”

She was so tired of this, tired of thinking of her constantly, of missing her. Even now all she really wanted was to lean into Eloise and be held tightly in return, there was no one that made her feel like Eloise did. No one that made her feel as at ease, as Eloise did.

Cressida just wanted her back, in any way that counted. Acquaintances. Friends. More than friends if she was feeling hopeful.

Enemies if it was all she had.

As long as she had something of her.

Eloise was a light in her life, maybe the first one she’d ever had. Cressida’s mother and father were… Refined people. They had high expectations of who she would be and what she would bring to her family name. They cared just- In their own, controlling and demanding way. She’d never had anyone that made her feel as alive as Eloise. Then, when they’d finally gotten over their differences, she’d never had anyone that she’d felt as comfortable around. Things were different with Eloise, she’d never felt like she had to pretend.

Eloise didn’t care about any of the false niceties of society.

Never expected anything of her.

Until now that is.

“You know what we’re talking about,” Eloise stated, with a finality that had Cressida’s stomach dropping to her feet, “Don’t pretend like you don’t.”

“I don’t! You act like I should be able to read your mind Eloise, but I can’t!” Cressida threw her hands up and glared down at Eloise, “Maybe stop acting like a know-it-all.”

“Seriously, Cressida? Why do you have to be so hard-headed?” Eloise did stop her foot, and Cressida scoffed at her before Eloise shouted in frustration, “You know damn well what I am talking about. I know you’re not this stupid, Cressida! And I know why you’d been avoiding me!”

“You-you do?” Cressida’s heart was in the soles of her feet and her hands were shaking where they remained crossed over her chest.

“Yeah, Cressida, I do. Honestly- You’re the last person I expected something like this from,” Eloise’s words were sharp, and Cressida’s stomach curdled with each blow, “Did you honestly think it’s okay to just go on thinking things like that about me?”

Her words felt like a slap to the face, but there was no mistaking it now. Eloise had discovered her secret, “I- I don’t see why it has to be such a big deal,” Was there a point in pretending? Maybe it would fix things between them to just get this out between them. Eloise was not her father, plus she’d quite literally kissed her, “I thought you’d be okay with it? Differing views and all.”

“Be okay with it?” Eloise looked absolutely disgusted with her, “Seriously? I just don’t see why you would choose to feel that way-”

“Choose?” Cressida’s knees wobbled, and she had to fight to remain upright. This… this was the last thing she’d ever expected from Eloise- She- They-

Cressida snapped.

“Honestly, it’s you I can’t believe. Of all people I thought you would be understanding of other people's views,” Cressida had to cut her off, she shouldered her bag and steeled herself, “I guess we'll just have to disagree on this.”

“This is extremely narrow-minded of you Cressida,” Eloise grabbed at her elbow as she pushed past the younger woman and Cressida yanked her arm free.

“I’m the narrow-minded one? You’ve sure been a right hypocrite lately. Look in a bloody mirror,” Cressida scoffed, this was the last thing she’d ever expected of Eloise. She pushed off and didn’t bother looking back, “Bugger off, Eloise.”

Eloise made a strange strangled sound from behind her, and Cressida pushed onwards, ignoring the ache in her chest.

~

Present Day, Sept 3rd, 2013 - Room 620

Cressida had the voicemail pulled up, and she was ready to click on it, she really was. She just had to be ready for whatever it might contain, whatever words could be said to quell the misunderstanding that had cut through them both that night.

And god, had they both been so beyond oblivious.

When she’d googled Eloise five years ago in a drunken spiral, she’d just been attempting to find the Daily Mail article announcing her brother Anthony’s engagement. There was a video of the entire Bridgerton clan out at some park, Eloise was there, smiling and happy. She was backed by perfect lighting, and Cressida liked to watch it and imagine a world where she might have been there, by Eloise’s side; their hands tangled together.

Instead what she’d ended up finding was a flood of new articles, and listings for a new book, written by none other than Eloise Bridgerton. It turned out to be a detailed historically accurate fiction piece, featuring two women, set in Regency Era England. Cressida bought it, and read it all in one night, she’d finished just as the sun came up, and she hadn’t been able to stop crying.

Eloise was… Brilliant.

The story was everything to her. It felt as if someone had crawled into the depths of her soul and found the scared, broken person trapped within. Except, instead of ridicule or judgment, they held her, and they told her that all would be okay. That there was nothing wrong with loving who you loved and embracing the freedom to be yourself. The characters had bonded after a strenuous start, where gossip fuelled their opinions of one another, until a steamy collision in between the hedges in a rose garden, quashed any further misunderstandings. The pair still had an extremely difficult journey ahead of them to be together from there, including one of them almost being shipped off to Wales, but they’d figured it out in the end.

It was a beautiful take on love, the power that women possessed behind the sharp grip of male dominated society, and a witty page turner that had you laughing, and crying, with each twist and turn. The book had absolutely wrecked Cressida. She’d called off her booked job for the next day, they’d had to scramble to find another girl, but she didn’t care. She’d scarcely been able to think about anything else as she spent three straight hours, just crying into her pillow, while she replayed the past in her mind; only now in an entirely new light.

Honestly, how could she have been so stupid and clearly blind? Eloise Bridgeton, homophobic and judgmental? One of her biggest heros growing up had been Elton John! Cressida had just been a bloody stupid hormonal teenager, who happened to be as stubborn as an ox, and head over heels in love with someone, who she’d very much thought to be her very straight best friend. Instead she’d had a best friend who was very much queer, and very much into women, and now that she’d looked back on it? She rather looked like the arsehole, if it turned out that Eloise had actually not known that she was in fact a raging homosexual; who was head over heels in love with her. Especially, if at that moment, Eloise had instead been attempting to come out to Cressida, and Cressida had assumed she was attempting to attack her own identity…

God, she wouldn’t blame Eloise if she hated her still.

It didn’t matter though, she’d still read every single book Eloise released. Each one pre-ordered in every edition the day it became available, the moment each one arrived she would lock herself away for an entire day and read, usually cry, but that was more because Eloise’s writing was just… All encompassing.

Whenever she would finish a new book, she’d be filled with the need to call. To connect, to fix all the stupid things between them. Only all too soon she would remember time and distance and the fact that Eloise most certainly did not want to see her. So for the most part, she was good. Well- Technically, she did call once, it just happened to be from her German friend's phone while they were both drunk in a club bathroom- She technically hadn’t even really said anything that would have given her away.

She’d just wanted to hear her voice.

~

Three Years Ago, June 19th, 2010 - Stall Two

The deafening club music was dulled by the crying girls at the sink and the sound of a couple audibly fucking in the stall beside her, but none of that mattered. Cressida’s world had centred down to the phone clutched in her hand, and its repetitive digital ring.

If she didn’t think about it, at all, what she was doing was actually a really, really great idea.

She and Eloise just had a misunderstanding, and then they’d both been too stubborn to clear it up. Or- Well, Eloise didn’t even know it was a misunderstanding. And Cressida found herself feeling suddenly not very stubborn any more, and more than willing to clear up the confusion. Sure it could be the alcohol and whatever that guy had given her, flowing through her veins. Or it was the pretty brunette she’d just gotten lost in dancing with, the name Eloise on the tip of her tongue with every sway of her hips. For the other girl it had just been a way to tease some of the men they’d brought with them… For Cressida, it had been a dizzying moment, where instead of a silk dress under her fingertips, there was a cashmere jumper for her to dig her fingers into. Instead of someone almost matching her in height, she had to lean down slightly to wrap her arms around her partner as they moved together in the pulsing lights.

In the end Cressida had to pull away, before her drunken mind forgot the sensations it chased weren’t actually right in front of her. She’d shoved off of the girl and mimed having to vomit, as they did not speak the same language, and then she booked it to the bathroom.

Where… She had discovered that she had three phones in her purse, one of which was unlocked, and she had a number in her mind. A number that had never left her mind, a number that would bring her the girl that consumed her every thought. The very girl she’d just been desperately wishing to wrap her arms around, and hold close, under the biting heat of the packed club.

It had taken less thought than Sober Cressida would have hoped for, before the number was in and dialling with the phone pressed tightly to her cheek. As if the closer it got to her skin, the higher the chance she had of somehow teleporting through the phone to reach Eloise.

Or, well, Eloise and her girlfriend.

Some tramp, from some stupid science-y university, who clearly didn’t even love Eloise for the right reasons. Really, she probably only liked her for her multi book success.

She couldn’t… She couldn’t possibly care the right way about the little divot in Eloise’s chin that only appeared when she smirked deviously at Cressida; over some piece of banter or a good bit of her novel. There was no way she loved to listen to Eloise ramble on about each new thing she’d discovered, even if you’d heard it before. Not the way Cressida would, not the way she had. So, she had to call, and she had to tell Eloise that everything had been a horrible, horrible mistake and that she was the same! That she liked women too, that she liked her! That would make everything right with the world, for the first time in four years.

The girl at the sink cried, the couple beside her continued on, and the phone in her hand kept ringing. Everything was fine in her fantasy world where she was filled with confidence and conviction.

The moment the line connected, a voice she’d recognize anywhere, answered rough with sleep, “‘Lo?”

Cressida’s breath hitched, and every imagined scenario, impassioned speech, or even English word left her stranded at sea; not a single vowel left to string together and toss out. She held back a strangled sound, but unfortunately, the man in the stall beside her did not.

“Excuse me?” Eloise’s voice was suddenly sharp and Cressida felt almost as if she were back on that same street corner, everything she might have done to redeem this situation, shrivelled up and died in the pit of her stomach.

“Erm,” Cressida coughed out before jumping to the only thing she could think of, in the thickest German accent she could possibly manage. They’d been in Berlin for long enough for a series of shows that she’d picked up a few phrases to get by, “Alles klar? Wo bist du?”

“Uh- Sorry. Who is this?” Eloise was sounding more alert by the moment and Cressida wanted to drown in the sound of her voice. It felt like what she might imagine bathing in warm milk and honey would feel like, but better, she could stay in this for ages. Only the voice of someone shifting in the background soured her stomach and pulled her from the whirlwind of Eloise’s voice.

“Es ist Julia,” Cressida bit out, forcing herself to keep speaking as anger swarmed her drunken senses, “Wo bist du?”

“Sorry, I think you have the wrong number,” Eloise’s voice crackled through and Cressida wished there was something she could do to stop Eloise from hanging up. It certainly did not help that at that exact minute the girl in the stall beside her quite loudly announced to everyone that she’d arrived at her peak, “Please don’t call this number again.”

The line went dead and Cressida slumped back against the grimy toilet someone had definitely just covered in an unknown substance illicit, or bodily, she truly didn’t care. Eloise’s voice rang in her ears and the feel of her lips ghosted over Cressida’s once more. She let herself sit for a moment before she pulled herself together and dragged her husk of a body from the stall. She would not be caught on the rise of her career looking like a mess, in a grimy underground club bathroom. And she would certainly not join the women crying at the sink.

She was better than that.

~

Present Day, Sept 3rd, 2013 - Room 620

Cressida took a deep breath and harnessed the confidence she’d been radiating in excess during her drunken memory and slammed the play button before she could think better of it. Too late to stop it now. The message began playing and Cressida curled around her phone, allowing her eyes to drift shut as Eloise’s tinny voice filled the quiet of her hotel room.

“Cressida, hey,” Hearing her name from Eloise after all this time made a pleasant warmth spread out through her, “Wasn’t sure I was ever going to hear from you again,” She sounded exactly as Cressida remembered, not that she could forget, she watched her author’s interviews at least once a month, “I think it could be good to meet up. I’m free for tea tomorrow. 9am? If you know of a place that would be great. Bye, then.” There was a brief pause and Cressida almost thought the recording ended but right as she was about to glance at her phone her voice came back through, “It’s Eloise Bridgerton, by the way.”

A watery laugh escaped Cressida, and she wiped at her face, she honestly hadn’t even realized she’d begun crying. Eloise had called her back, she called her back and she wanted to meet. Cressida hadn’t buggered everything just yet! Perhaps that was going to come when they went for coffee in… Six hours.

Cressida’s hands shook as she pulled up a text message thread and tapped out the address of the first place she could think of. She had to do it now before she forgot, no matter how it looked that she was returning the message at a quarter past three in the morning.

Cressida

9am works for me. I can meet you here.

See you then x

It was far too late to take the x out, she’d hit sent already and the moment it flipped to delivered, the read mark appeared, and her stomach churned.

Eloise replied immediately.

Eloise Bridgerton

See you then.

~

Present Day, Sept 3rd, 2013 - Table Three

Cressida ensured that she arrived at the shop promptly at 7am, the precise moment the shop she’d picked opened.

Partially owed to the fact that she had not gone back to sleep… Partially, because she needed to ensure she could get a handle on the place, and be settled and ready for what was to come. She was perhaps a little keyed up, and there may have been a veritable hurricane of butterflies in her stomach since she’d heard Eloise’s voice. When she’d been getting ready she’d had to take a few extra moments to pay attention to the bags that sat heavily under her eyes.

All things considered she’d put herself together well enough to turn heads.

It had taken her at least an hour to select the outfit that she’d eventually landed on. After about four rejects, she landed on a pastel pink and white chequered skirt and top, it helped make her look soft and unimposing. Plus, she felt like it perfectly blended casual with effort, and she really needed Eloise to know she cared about this.

That she cared about fixing them however she could.

Cressida had arrived precisely at the same moment the young stock boy was turning the key to open the doors for the day. He’d dropped the keys the moment he saw her approach, his eyes darted between her and the 15m tall version of herself, plastered to the side of the building behind them. She quite liked that one, she was in a dress that looked like liquid silver, for a perfume campaign, she rather felt like she looked like some sort of goddess surveying over New York City.

He’d actually stumbled over himself to let her in, and get her seated with a tea, in no time flat.

She then proceeded to sit vigilantly for a few hours, sipping her tea and watching the streets with a laser focus as the city woke up for the day. Somewhere out there was Eloise, getting up, getting ready- To come meet with her. She took some time to refresh her tea and think. She needed a game plan. Soon, Eloise would walk around the corner and push through the doors-

“Cressida, hi,” Eloise’s soft voice came from just beside her, the way she jumped in sheer fear was not the way she’d meant to start this. It was just that the woman’s approach had been alarmingly quiet, and she was half an hour early.

Cressida hadn’t even heard the bloody door jingle!

Her eyes swept over Eloise and her breath caught in her chest, there was nothing to do, but take it in. She looked… So… So… Eloise. She’d come wearing tan trousers that had been rolled up around black combat boots, and an oversized vest had been pulled on over a cream shirt. Cressida couldn’t have selected the outfit for Eloise better herself, it was perfect, and it screamed I’m smarter than you could ever hope to be, and I know it.

Cressida wanted to hug her, hold her, anything- No!

“Eloise!” Cressida practically shouted her name out reflexively while she set her tea cup down, entirely ignoring the way the tea sloshed over the edge of the cup. In a moment of blind unpreparedness she rushed up to pull out Eloise’s chair, and turned to look at, quite literally the woman of her dreams.

She found her watching with a confused and mildly defensive look.

Eloise watched her carefully, but slid into the offered chair after just a moment's indecision. The kid who’d been hungry for her attention wasted no time in rushing over with an additional cup for Eloise to use so she could share in Cressida’s now full pot of hot water and small collection of tea bags. Eloise watched the exchange near silently, only speaking to thank the boy once he’d dismissed himself, and she levelled Cressida with an unimpressed stare.

“What? Did you bring me here to lord off some adoring fan?” Eloise rolled her eyes, and Cressida watched as she smirked every so slightly to herself at the remark. The same little divot appeared briefly on her chin, and Cressida was possessed with the urge to reach out and caress it, thankfully she had not lost that much sense of herself.

“What? No! I-I’ve never even been here before. I’d just heard it was nice,” Eloise had come out swinging at her and Cressida felt unbalanced, she hadn’t intended to lord anything over her. Cressida had nothing to lord, nothing that was worth any value, not when all it did was get her through each day blandly and emptily, “I met him only a few minutes ago.”

It was impossible to stop the way her cheeks coloured slightly at that particular stretch of the truth.

“Right,” Eloise glanced between them before she turned back and carefully made her cup of tea. Exactly as Cressida remembered it, no milk, two sugars, and stirred exactly three times clockwise, three times counterclockwise, “So, you wanted to see me?”

Cressida had been proud to earn the title of the only person outside herself that could properly make Eloise her cup of tea. The first time Eloise had come over Cressida had quietly passed her the cup and beamed with pride when Eloise’s face flushed with pleasure and she drank deeply. Cressida still remembered exactly what that smile looked like, it was hard to forget any moment with Eloise.

She had too few.

Eloise was still watching her closely and Cressida suddenly realized she had no idea how to do this.

She’d never come out to anyone, it hadn’t ever come up really.

She had admitted it to herself when they’d kissed, and that had been that. She couldn’t exactly come out to her father, and it wasn’t something that was overly accepted within her career circles, so she just never mentioned it. Now, she needed to do that. She’d forgotten, in the rush of hearing her voice and seeing her again what it meant to bridge this gap.

Cressida had been blinded by the end result, having her back, being together again in any way she could have… That she forgot what she actually had to do to fix the rift that had opened between them, because she’d been scared and stubborn. Here, in the light of day, with Eloise’s curious look trained on her, she didn’t know how to do this!

It wasn’t like she could just come out and say-

“I’m gay!”

Cressida clasped her hand over her mouth and her eyes blew wide, the words had pulled from her lips without thought as she’d been panicking. The more the silence had stretched out between them the more she’d been desperate to find anything to say, just if only it hadn’t been that.

Eloise’s jaw dropped, and her eyes went wide, “Oh-” It sounded more like a rush of air than any intentional word and Cressida’s eyes fell to the table.

Oh, of all the ways she could have done this-

“No!” Eloise practically shouted and Cressida’s head snapped up in response which made the brunette shift adorably uncomfortably in her seat, “I just mean- Oh, I- It’s not a bad thing. To me. I actually am an auth-”

“I know.”

“Or- You know?” Eloise’s eyes went wide as she was cut off and her arms moved up to wrap around herself automatically. Cressida could see she was suddenly longing for the sleeves she so often might have opted for in their native London air, “Why? How- Uhm. Where. Where did you hear that?”

“I’ve read your work,” Cressida’s brow furrowed, did Eloise truly think she’d just tossed her to the side after that night? Could she have truly suspected that Cressida just let her disappear from her mind? Something like that wasn’t even possible under hard drugs, or copious amounts of alcohol, and she’d tried very hard for the first few years there, “They’re all quite good. Though I have to say, your first will always be my favourite, I think.”

Eloise choked on her tea and her fist slammed into her chest as a wild look filled her eyes for a brief moment, “Oh- You- My first novel? Good- You’ve read that. That’s good. Sure, why not. Why wouldn't you have read my first novel?”

Cressida puzzled even further, surely Eloise was used to people complimenting her work? She was here to attend a convention that would be essentially a weekend of people complimenting her work. Not to mention she’d been in the public eye as a notable writer for half a decade now, this couldn’t be an uncommon situation for her to find herself in, “I’m sorry?”

“No, no- I just,” Eloise froze for a moment, Cressida is honestly not sure if she’d ever seen her so still before. There was a second more before Eloise’s teeth worried at her lip unconsciously.

“Eloise?”

The brunette's head snapped back to her, her eyes were wide, and her finger was rapidly tapping against the rim of her cup, “Yes! Sorry, just to be clear on that first point actually- You said you were gay? As in not a zero on the Kinsey Scale.”

“Yes, er, of the lesbian variety,” Cressida cringed slightly at her own current lack of tact. Was that how people did it? It can’t be. But how else were you to make sure that the category was clear? “I got a 6 on the scale thing.”

Eloise’s blue eyes were wide, and she almost looked shaken, but her voice was a sharp snap that reminded Cressida of their early days, “Oh, that’s. Okay. So, that’s what you wanted to talk about?”

“Yes, well, no,” Cressida wasn’t doing this in the right way, or the right order at all. She should have slept or actually planned rather than panicked as she paced through her hotel suite and stressed about her outfit, “Uh, I just-”

“What? Read my books, thought you’d got something figured out, and then figured you could call me up and tell me all about how you’ve turned around?” Eloise asked, arms tightening around herself, but suddenly there wasn’t the full fire behind it that Cressida might have expected. There was something else there and Cressida couldn’t help but curse herself. Once she’d been able to read Eloise, as well as Eloise read her countless novels.

“What? No! I’ve known about the gay thing since I was seven,” Cressida blurted out, her jaw snapped shut as she realized just how much of her hand that she’d tossed out onto the table before Eloise. She may have well just shouted from the rooftops 'I’ve been in love with you since the first time I laid eyes on you’

“You what?!” Eloise practically shouted that statement at her, and Cressida’s eyes flew around the café. She was glad to find everyone else, in typical New York fashion, paying attention only to themselves.

“Shh, Eloise!” Cressida cursed out as she reached out to grab at Eloise’s wrist and freeze the moment their skin connected. A pleasant jolt shocked through her body and her fingers tightened, as if her subconscious intended never to let go. Cressida swallowed thickly and forced her hand to remove and return to her, “Er, just, it’s not something I’m very open with.”

Eloise scoffed and assisted as she pulled her hand back from Cressida’s hold. She sarcastically bit out her next words, “Uh, yeah, I’d say that’s a fair assessment.”

“Okay, well- That’s,” Cressida cut herself off, they couldn’t do this again. She couldn’t do this again. Her therapist would kill her if she found out that Cressida had actually taken her advice to call, and then absolutely ruined all the work they’d done and rose to the bait once more, “That’s fair.”

Eloise had clearly been gathering herself up for a battle because she deflated slightly when Cressida conceded. There was a moment of quiet between them, it was new territory, not jumping right to biting off heads the second they disagreed. Eventually, Eloise’s soft voice broke the din of the shop around them, “So you just, you knew the whole time?”

“Kind of. It wasn’t easy to fully accept but… You know it’s always there, so, eventually I just stopped pretending,” Cressida shrugged slightly and picked at the edge of her tea glass, “I didn’t announce it or anything, I just- Don’t really mention it.”

“I- So- Why,” Eloise looked as if she were desperately attempting to see into Cressida’s mind and read her thoughts, perhaps to find the truth of her words. Or maybe to look into her past and answer questions she hasn’t yet been able to ask, “What do I have to do with it?”

“Well, I just- I thought it might clear up, you know- Erm,” Cressida just kind of gestured out with her hand and Eloise arched an eyebrow at her.

“The night you acted like a massive homophobic cunt? Margaret told me you’d called me a dyke the day prior!” Eloise asked, her sass having returned in full force as Cressida became the one back on uneasy ground, “That what you mean?”

“What?! I never! And, well I mean, I kind of thought you-”

“Oh my god I’m going to kill her,” Eloise’s face paled as she intervened, “Wait! You thought I was-?” Cressida nodded and shifted slightly in her seat, “Cress, what?! Why didn’t you say something?”

The nickname rolled off of Eloise’s lips like it had only been moments, not years, since the last time she’d used it, “Well, I’d thought-”

“Oh, well. Right. Probably that I’d be a massive homophobic cunt about it,” Eloise dropped her head into her hands for a few moments, soon after her shoulders began to shake, and Cressida felt the panic rise within her. Was she crying? Should Cressida do something?

Another tremor rolled through her body and Eloise gasped, Cressida recognized it now. Eloise was laughing, she was bloody laughing!

“What is so funny?” Cressida hissed, her brows furrowed while Eloise seemed to double over on herself further as she now, well and truly, cackled. A few people glanced their way but mostly turned back to whatever they were doing, “Eloise!”

“Just- Everything!” Eloise looked up, and her eyes were red, almost as if she were holding back tears, she almost looked a little hysterical, “I, Jesus, Cressida. This is all so ridiculous. I can’t believe I am sitting here finding all this out, it's like I somehow bloody knew it all, when I wrote my first book. I can literally never outrun us in its pages,” Eloise’s eyes went wide, Cressida heard her teeth grind as she snapped her mouth shut and clenched her jaw tightly. It almost looked as if by sheer force of will she was trying to turn back time, to keep the words trapped within her mouth.

Meanwhile, Cressida felt as if her entire body had shut down, nothing at all left operational. Her mind had gone entirely blank, the sound that blared in her ears managed to sound quite a bit like her father's old dial-up internet, and then it could only spit out one thing. Which happened to be every scrap of Eloise’s first, earth shaking debut novel, that her mind had ripped apart, and tucked into every crevice of her being from the first second she’d read it.

It became immediately apparent to her, the moment she applied a moment of thought, that she was meant to be Jessica; while Eloise had cast herself as Claudia. It had been the sharp-tongued beauty, Jessica, who had bewitched the brilliant wall-flower, Claudia, and swept her up in a whirlwind of a turbulent forbidden and hidden-romance. How had she not seen it before? It was so painfully clear, right down to their original contrition with each other, and now the false gossip that stood between them.

Suddenly she gasped and sat up straighter in her seat, her cheeks going a brilliant red. If, well, the whole book was about them- Claudia loved Jessica.

Claudia! Loved! Jessica!

Her eyes shot over to Eloise who now seemed to be busy looking at her nails and or anything but Cressida. Why she would feel ashamed was beyond her- They loved each other! What could- Her lagging brain managed to pull free another scrap from the book and her breath hitched, “Oh.”

The rose garden.

Jessica had- Well, as they would have said it back then, ruined Claudia’s honour in a very, very explicit manner. One that had Cressida’s heart racing and her skin heating against her will, you just couldn’t escape what Eloise wanted you to feel. It was impossible, it was what made her so unbelievably good at what she did.

“Yeah,” Eloise mumbled softly, she’d moved cautiously as she looked up, watching Cressida as she continued to struggle to load back into being a functioning person.

“You- Me?” Cressida asked, it was her turn to scarcely be able to form sentences as the weight of an unexpected mountain of information crashed down over her, “When?”

“Yes, you,” Eloise rolled her eyes, but for the first time since she’d sat down there was a spark of warmth there as she did it, “Uhm, do you know the library?”

“Yes, Eloise, I know what the library is. I’m not a total airhead,” Cressida huffed slightly, trying to keep the manic laugh that wanted to bubble out of her from coming free, “What about it?”

“Well, you probably don’t remember it’s been like- bloody hell, like a decade I guess,” Eloise shrugged and picked at a thread pulling free on her vest as she looked away from Cressida again, “But we ran into each other at the Library one summer, that’s when we really started to hang out-”

Cressida’s sharp bark of laughter interrupted Eloise who immediately pouted at her and Cressida melted, “Eloise, of course I remember the library, I’d never forget something like that, no matter how long it’s been.”

“So, yeah.”

“Yeah, what?”

“That’s when.”

“That’s when, what?”

“I knew I had a crush on you.”

“Fuck off,” Cressida breathed out reflexively, her hand spasming on the table, as that series of truths crashed onto her like a tonne of bricks, “You’re joking.”

Eloise bristled as Cressida stared at her in pure disbelief, “Why on earth would I be joking?”

“You just can’t have,” Cressida couldn’t take that, they’d both known they were gay, and liked each other at the same damned time and the last seven years had been the result of that?! God, no wonder Eloise had been laughing so much, this really was just absurd, “I thought you were straight!”

“I thought you were straight!” Eloise accused right back at her, and then the next second they were both laughing, half bent over the table. Tears pricked at the corner of both their eyes as years of one misunderstanding after another broke over them.

Eventually, Cressida caught everyone watching them and grabbed her bag, she threw a few hundreds on the table and stood. She didn’t ask, she didn’t want this to end, “Come on. Go for a walk with me.”

Eloise rose after her already nodding, she didn’t seem eager to let Cressida get far from her, and Cressida couldn’t agree more, “Okay, lead the way.”

Cressida tried her absolute best to look as if she knew what she was doing as she led them out and around the corner. She had about thirty seconds before they hit a cross-walk, and she needed to make a choice. There were a few places she knew of, but there was one that just might outshine them all, “It’s a bit of a walk to get there, but for your first time in the city, I know just the place.”

“What exactly is your play here, Cowper?” Eloise asked softly, but she didn’t lag or pause as they walked together, weaving through the busy streets.

“What do you mean?”

“What are you up to? Why’d you call me?” Eloise rambled on and as she went something inside of Cressida cracked open for the first time in a long time, “Why’d you tell me all this? Why are we ‘going on a walk’?”

It felt a little bit too much like hope.

Like the first sun after a dreadful near decade of rain, metaphorical halos shone through the clouds, and birds filled the air with song once more. Eloise was probing her with countless questions and that could only mean one thing, Cressida was at least partly on her way to redemption. She was doing something right so far, even though honestly she had lost control of herself, and this situation the moment Eloise startled her. By arriving far too early and entirely unnoticed she would point out, if anyone cared, but at this point, she didn’t even care.

Cressida tuned back into Eloise, who had still been speaking through her Cressida’s moment of basking, “-You now know, I mean, just everything I think that you absolutely shouldn’t, and that I’ve tried very hard to get past now and-”

Cressida cut her off and decided that if Eloise felt their situation was unbalanced; she may as well prove she’s in this. It was probably time to even it out a little, “Do you remember your family’s New Year’s Eve Party, 2002?”

~

Eleven Years Ago, December 31st, 2001 - Bridgerton House

The house was absolutely packed full of people, anywhere you turned there was some notable figure, political or otherwise. If the Bridgerton's sent you an invitation, you arrived, their parties were the events of the season. At least that’s what her mother always rambled on about. So, when a cream envelope sealed with a wax ‘B’ arrived at her family home that year, there was no question. Cressida had been stuffed into the puffiest pink dress, paired with an enormous bow on the back, and approved by her mother.

Once they all looked put together, and ready for a night of classic English society play; they piled into the back of a small but sleek rented car. Her father had long ago been forced to get rid of their driver, he’d only ever told her it was just a string of bad luck. He always promised they were just around the corner from something big. This invitation was supposed to be the beginning of that statement finally coming true. Before they’d entered the house her father had pulled them both aside.

They were to be on their best behaviour, make a good impression, and not stand out.

It turned out that Cressida had no trouble following any of the rules, as she’d yet to lay eyes on anyone her age, and instead just tucked herself into the corner. The plan so far was to avoid her mother, her father, and just wait for the night to end.

That was at least until a Mrs. Bridgerton herself, found Cressida where she hid away in plain sight.

“Why, Miss Cowper! Aren’t you looking absolutely stunning this evening,” Cressida flushed under the praise, she knew that the woman was being far, far too nice, but somehow? Coming from Mrs. Bridgerton, it felt genuine, “I don’t wish to interrupt your enjoyment of the evening, but my children and their friends are in the Blue Room- If you’d wish to join them?”

“Oh, well-” Cressida was trying to come up with some reason, she’d largely avoided the Bridgerton’s thus far in her life as she and Daphne… Did not get along. That was probably too light of a statement. The earth cracked and fire spit forth as they clashed against each other. Each of them, warring the other for control of their class in all things social and academic.

“Perfect!” Cressida didn’t even have a chance to finish her thought as the Bridgerton matriarch wound their arms together and began to direct them out of their large dining room, “I can escort you there, make sure everyone is welcoming.”

Her father caught her eye while she walked on the hostesses arm, he gave her a nod of approval, and she knew now no matter what, she needed to go along with this walk. She’d heard nothing, but rumour, and second hand talk of all the Bridgerton kids outside of Daphne. The girl had been intent to keep Cressida as far from her life and family as physically possible.

Out of sheer desperation to maintain her fragile ego, likely. Daphne never could handle that Cressida just actually happened to be better than her at things, while Daphne seemed to struggle at more than other people seemed keen to point out. But of course Cressida is the bad guy for just pointing out the obvious.

Violet pushed the door to the Blue Room open, and it was almost comical how quickly a hush settled over the room when she’d been whisked in and dropped out. The door shut and Violet had gone before she’d even been able to object. Daphne and her group of disastrous damsels literally huffed and left less than a minute after her arrival, likely they had needed to drag themselves back to Daphne’s lair and curse her very existence to the depths of the hells. The boys turned back to the card game they had going, seemingly betting with macaroons. Though she’d never actually seen any of them before, it was very easy to pick out each of the boys thanks to Violet's alphabetical naming conventions. She recognized a few of the other kids with them, but they didn’t hold her attention for long. The soft plucking of a piano forte drew her attention to what had to be Francesca and her two younger siblings, Gregory and Hyacinth, crowded around as she showed them how to play a lullaby together.

She mentally ran through the letters, Daphne had run, there was Anthony, Benedict and Colin near wrestling over the outcome of the latest hand. It seemed Colin cheated to take Anthony’s favourite macaroon right out from under him. Then Francesca was still playing softly, while Gregory and Hyacinth now watched their elder brothers, and cackled, as they bet on the outcome of the fight.

One missing then, there were a few people she didn’t recognize, but none of them possessed the typical Bridgerton look, or even their boisterous charm and flair for attention. Must be elsewhere then, she couldn’t blame… Hm, had she known the E sibling's name? Edward? Edmond? Elizabeth?

No. She at least knew none of those were right.

Her eyes searched through the room as she thought, looking for the best place to tuck herself into, and await the end of this waking nightmare. Daphne would have a field day with this come the end of break, at least Cressida now knew the lair of her enemy from within. She made her way to the opposite side of the room of the rambunctious boys and passed the small table overloaded with snacks, her eyes strayed to it for a moment, until a movement in the corner she’d been angling for caught her eye.

Then all as if by magic, she remembered the name she’d been forgetting, just as she forgot her own.

Eloise.

There, the fifth of the Bridgerton line was tucked into a love seat, her nose buried in one of the thickest leather-bound books Cressida had ever seen. Though, that had nothing to do with the way her breath left her lungs or her own name had left her mind. That had everything to do with the person holding it. Cressida was certain with that one glance, that this would be a moment she would remember for the rest of her life.

There must have been something amusing within the pages because Eloise’s lips were upturned, her brows ever so slightly lifted, her face open and beyond enchanting. It made her whole face appear practically brighter than the sun, in Cressida’s rapidly forming opinion. The light in her eyes drew Cressida in like a moth to flame, it felt as if the very heartbeat in her chest had remade itself to beat Eloise, Eloise, Eloise. Cressida felt like she couldn’t possibly take in enough details to make this moment count. To remember all she could before Eloise looked up, or she was noticed, or the next page called her attention.

The girl's classic Bridgerton brown hair was carefully braided and wrapped around her left shoulder, and Cressida ached to see it down. Perhaps she’d slipped and hit her head, and all of this was nothing more than a hallucination, but it looked as if Eloise truly glowed. Cressida found herself drifting forward before she knew what to do with herself when she arrived. Eloise turned a page and Cressida stepped within the privacy of the hidden corner, another few steps, and she’d be within a meter of the love seat itself.

By the time she was practically face to face with the ethereal beauty- Who was wrapped in a soft blue gown that appeared to be made out of the softest silk Cressida had ever seen, by the way. She remembered that she was currently wearing a disastrous monstrosity of a dress, and that well, Eloise likely had no idea who she even was.

Unfortunately, it was far, far too late for that kind of thinking.

Eloise’s eyes had already turned up towards her, and Cressida felt dizzy, as blue-grey eyes looked over her in a way that made her stomach turn with something almost exhilarating. She had to say something, anything that would make this introduction count. Cressida had to know her, she wanted to be her friend, hear about her day, or whatever it was in that book that kept her so focused.

She couldn’t mess this up, it just felt important.

She felt a piece of herself within the brown-haired girl before her, something lost in the universe that finally made its way back to her.

Just as she opened her mouth to say what, she’s still not exactly sure, Eloise’s brow furrowed and the curious look on her face dropped into one of distaste. The girl snapped her book closed, and stood sweeping past Cressida, with a haughty look. It made her look all too much like Daphne which did confusing things to Cressida’s brain as Eloise’s arm brushed hers. It sent what felt like an electric jolt through her entire body only for the shock to melt away as Eloise’s voice graced her for the first time, but not the last if Cressida had anything to say about it.

Eloise barely spared her a glance as she headed for the same door that Daphne had disappeared through probably only minutes earlier. Somehow Cressida felt like years had passed, that she might have watched the rise and fall of empires as Eloise smiled at the pages of her book.

It was almost easy to miss the words Eloise bit out as she moved past, “I would rather die.”

Cressida felt the hot weight of shame immediately begin to build within her. Of course. What had she been thinking? A sister of Daphne wouldn’t have the time of day for her, she’d just gotten swept up at the moment. She- Was crying.

A tear had welled up in the corner of her eye and threatened to fall. The press of society in the room around her felt almost suffocating now, she couldn’t tell you why. Probably a hundred girls around their age had rejected Cressida. Her mother's reputation was not very favourable, and her father's was even less so, it had never bothered her like this before. She’d held her head high and pushed forward. It’s why she held onto the few friends he had managed to find, even when they were less than tolerable as… Well, as people sometimes.

Cressida would not cry here.

She wouldn’t, not over someone she hardly even knew.

Even though it felt as if the moment their eyes met, she’d found someone she’d known a hundred lifetimes over.

~

Present Day, September 3rd, 2013 - Central Park

“So, yeah,” Cressida mumbled, stealing Eloise’s response from earlier as they turned onto the winding path of the ramble that twisted through the lower portion of the park.

She’d actually managed to word vomit so much of all the thoughts she absolutely never intended to tell anyone, all at once. Not to mention it was all in public, to the very person she’d had many of the thoughts about. Cressida broke out in a cold sweat halfway through their walk, and it had nothing to do with the physical exertion, it was literally her job to walk while looking flawless. However, she was not immune to the nerves caused by spilling her guts, like her tea had been laced with a truth serum, to her increasingly quiet ex-crush-enemy-friend.

And Eloise was quiet, it was unnerving to let the silence simmer between them, but Cressida had to cut herself off. She’d said more than enough, she’d been way more honest than she’d meant to be. Really she’d just meant to briefly go over it. Not describe in detail all the absolute insane things that had gone through her hormonal teenage mind at the time. That was meant to be kept in its locked cage deep in the recesses of her mind, but once she’d started talking about that night, for the first time? She hadn’t been able to stop.

It didn't help that Eloise hadn’t said anything. Once. She hadn’t even coughed or sniffled. She’d just watched with a weird sort of strangled look on her face that Cressida had not been able to read in the slightest. It had been too long since she’d been around Eloise, everything between them was new and unknown. So, Cressida panicked and filled the dead air, going on and on until she had to stop herself before she revealed things she didn’t even want to think about. If only that meant that Eloise had begun to fill the dead air instead.

Instead they walked through the brilliance of the red and orange canopy of trees, while the birds filled what their words couldn’t. The park was stunning, she’d never been during the fall, it was great to have something to distract her from while Eloise… Processed? Or perhaps planned out the best way to tell Cressida that she needed to get physiological help and stay far, far away from her. At least the new worst moment of her life would be framed by such a beautiful backdrop.

Honestly, it was gorgeous, it helped with a bit of her nerves. She tried to force herself to look at their surroundings and not Eloise, actually, she hadn’t looked at Eloise since she’d stopped talking. It was probably okay to take a quick look-

Eloise was not by her side.

Cressida looked back behind herself and found Eloise standing in the middle of the walkway, framed by two large oak trees on either side. The colour of the sky, in perfect Bridgerton blue, wrapped around her; she looked like a painting. Cressida could see it now, taking up an entire wall in the MoMA, it would be the only way to do it justice. Her hand was pressed to her lips, and as Cressida got closer there was a far off look in her eyes.

Eloise was a work of art.

When Cressida finally stepped into Eloise’s circle, her eyes shot over to Cressida and her brow furrowed, “I-”

Eloise had truly never been this speechless in all the time Cressida had known her and she was starting to panic. Had she broken her?

“You know what? That was a lot. It was too much, probably. Could we just forget I said all of that and move on?” Cressida asked hoarsely, when Eloise didn’t go on, she really wasn’t sure what she should do. Eloise still looked as if she was half frozen, fingers pressed against her lips, but her eyes followed Cressida.

“It doesn’t have to be-”

Suddenly, Eloise sprung into action, both her hands shot out and weaved into Cressida’s carefully curled locks. Before she even really knew what was happening Eloise’s body melded to hers, and their lips pressed together. The world fell away, Cressida wrapped her arms around Eloise’s waist, and Eloise pushed upwards on her toes to shorten the distance between them. It was nothing and everything like their first and last kiss. She was surrounded by everything Eloise, only this time they’d both been shaped by time and experience. For a few seconds, there was nothing in the world, but the woman in her arms.

Eloise gasped as they broke for air, and the real world rushed back in, Cressida forced herself to let go, and she stepped back, “Oh.”

Eloise looked a little wild, she had Cressida’s lipstick smeared on the corner of her lips, which prompted Cressida to swipe at her own mouth. Eloise just watched her with a dazed smile on her face and Cressida couldn’t help but think she looked beautiful with the evidence of their dalliance.

“How was I this stupid?” Eloise asked rhetorically, as she reached out to fix the mess she’d made of Cressida’s hair.

“How was I?” Cressida felt dazed. How could any of this be real? Perhaps she’d died from embarrassment and was now in heaven. If so, she was taking advantage of it. She reached out and carefully wiped the corner of Eloise’s mouth.

“How were we?” Eloise asked with a breathless laugh, her pupils had dilated the moment Cressida’s thumb pressed against her skin. Her jaw dropped slightly, and Cressida wanted to pull Eloise to her and never let her go.

“I want to be done being stupid,” Cressida whispered without thinking, but the way the shorter girl beamed up at her made her think she’d done something right.

Eloise reached out and pushed gently at her shoulder like she once might have, “I think I’d like that.”

Cressida glanced around as someone rounded the corner, she wanted more of this, she wanted to find out what that meant for them. But she also couldn’t do it here, the public eye was already pressing in on her, “Um, would you want to come back to my hotel room?”

“Wow, didn’t think you’d be quite so bold, Cowper,” Eloise teased as she immediately waggled her eyebrows and whistled, “Trying to lure me back to a secondary location to have your way with me?”

Cressida just grinned, “Oh, I can be bold,” She looked around and then tangled their hands together as she dragged them back to the street, “You’re coming.”

“And technically it’s a third location.”

Eloise barked out a laugh and Cressida felt a warmth flow through her, one that she’d been missing for seven long years.

~

Present Day, September 3rd, 2025 - Room 620

The trip back to Cressida’s room had been quiet, but not in an awkward way, in a way that spoke of comfort and excitement. Eloise had tangled their hands together once they were tucked into the back of the taxi and… Cressida let her.

It sent an absolute thrill through every part of her. Eloise Bridgerton was holding her hand! They’d never quite come close to something like this that meant what it did, this wasn’t linking arms while they marched to the sweet's shop. This was, they’d just bloody kissed for the second, first time, and now Eloise was coming back to her hotel room, hand holding. They’d never done that. Cressida brushed her thumb experimentally over the back of Eloise’s hand, after five minutes of building herself up to it, and it was worth it. Eloise’s cheeks coloured and tore her eyes away from the buildings blurring past them to give Cressida a wide-eyed look, a hesitant smile building when she glanced down at their hands.

As if she wasn’t the one that reached for Cressida’s hand first.

When they arrived at her hotel, Eloise paled as she looked up at it, then she forced Cressida to let her pay the taxi driver. When they reached the suite Cressida had been staying in, Eloise’s jaw dropped at the grandeur of it all. Cressida had spent so much time around this lifestyle the past couple of years, it had all become a bit meaningless. It was all empty if you had nothing in it that mattered. Eloise had seen rooms as nice as hers before she’s sure, but it was likely the American novelty of it all. She’s confident she looked exactly the same her first time in the city, wide-eyed and awed.

Eventually, they found themselves each with a cup of the crappy hotel tea in plain white mugs, as they sat across from one another on the couch. The quiet stretched and Cressida knew they had to break it eventually, they had to talk more, and they had to figure out what any of this meant to them. But, sitting here, across from Eloise with this afternoon playing on repeat in her mind- She just really wanted to kiss Eloise again.

They had to get past this before Cressida revealed something else obscenely embarrassing.

“So,” She started at the exact same time that Eloise spoke, “So.”

“Oh-”

“No, you,” Eloise started to concede, but Cressida had also already started talking again, “You, can go-”

Cressida repressed a laugh, but when Eloise snorted in response, within seconds the tea was on the table, and they were practically rolling with laughter on the couch. Her breaths were coming in short pants by the time they both got their laughter in check. Cressida had slid about halfway down the couch, apparently so had Eloise, considering now they were propped up against each other. They were so close that she could get lost in those beautiful blue-grey eyes once more, except this time Eloise was looking right back at her.

“Do you think there’s any world where we got it right?” Cressida eventually asked, as she slid her hand over on the couch to lace with Eloise’s. Just because she could.

“You know, I tried to write it for a while. A story inspired by us where it was easy. Just didn’t seem to fit,” Eloise smiled over at her and Cressida for some odd reason felt tears well in her eyes, “I think we both just like it a little messy.”

Cressida huffed, but truthfully she would have a hard time denying that, “I would have preferred it less so.”

Eloise nudged their shoulders together, “I think I’m liking the story as it is so far actually,” Warmth and ease settled around Cressida in a way it hadn’t in a very long time, “Though, perhaps I would change a couple of things. If we’d figured this out sooner I wouldn’t have had to leave someone at the altar.”

“You were engaged?!” Cressida took the news like a slap to the face. How had she not known? She followed Eloise’s life closely, in a non-creepy distant supportive way of course, and she’d never seen anything. Anything that made it seem like Eloise had been engaged. If she had, she likely would have gone on a bit of a spiral she would have never forgotten.

Eloise’s cheeks flushed to match the now red of her neck, “Uhm, well, yes,” She pulled away from Cressida and sat up to tuck her feet under herself. Cressida cursed at her outburst for separating them but settled to match Eloise, their knees brushing as they sat facing each other, “It wasn’t something I ever made public, when everything fell apart- Anthony paid a good pit of money to keep it out of the press. I- I didn’t ask him too, he just did.”

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Cressida wasn’t entirely sure what to do, she felt for Eloise’s pain, but she was simultaneously more than glad that it had ended. If it hadn’t, she’s certain Eloise never would have kissed her in the park, much less come home with her.

“Don’t be, it never would have worked out,” Eloise shrugged and wrapped her arms around herself, “We were too similar, really.”

Cressida just nodded her encouragement and Eloise looked as if she was desperate for the opportunity to just talk. She let it all out, and Cressida listened, from how they’d met to how Eloise had run at the end of it all. It had been happenstance as much as anything, Phillipa Crane was a renowned botanist and Eloise had been working on a kink in a novel. She’d been resolute to have every inch of her texts to be the truth, and she was having a hard time nailing down if a specific variation of ivy would have been in England at the time period in question. From the first letter they’d both just found something in one another. Companionship, someone to weather the tide with and true to fashion they’d moved in together shortly afterwards.

They’d found in each other, what Cressida had spent so long looking for in the bottom of a few different types of bags and bottles. That was before she’d realized she was just running from the thing she told herself she was still looking for. She couldn’t blame Eloise for doing the same thing, in fact, as she listened, a part of her almost wished it had worked out. Eloise deserved happiness, stability, someone who can help her work out kinks in her novels.

If Eloise gave her the chance, Cressida would do everything in her power to help her get everything she deserved.

Everything.

Cressida listened as Eloise told her about the good times, and she prickled with anger as she listened to the hard times. Days, weeks, and months, where Eloise went ignored for some break through or another. Meals with one place setting empty, missed dates and skipped holidays. Until Eloise had been standing at the other end of the aisle, peonies in hand, which Cressida knew she wasn’t even that big of a fan of, but Phillipa had insisted. She hadn’t been able to walk forward, the thought of a life where she would be neither seen nor heard, felt like a death sentence.

A life of keeping house for Phillipa and her two cats, a life of trying to just get by on what Phillipa had to spare.

So, Eloise turned and ran, she fled her family's country estate, and hopped on the first flight to Scotland. There she hid with her brother-in-law's cousin, Michaela Stirling in the county. Apparently, they’d become fast friends a year or so ago, when they’d met at John and Francesca’s wedding. From there she’d picked herself back up, started writing more, getting into things that pushed her forward… Like going to this convention, and calling Cressida back.

“I have to say I quite like that one,” Cressida mumbled, speaking up as Eloise began to slow, perhaps going through the exact same pitfall Cressida had in the park.

“I thought you might,” Eloise said laughing slightly and wiping the faint trace of tears from her eyes, “I- Thanks, for listening. I bloody missed you, Cowper.”

Cressida let the way Eloise slugged cleanly in the shoulder with her delivery slide, mostly on account of how much she agreed with the statement. She’d missed Eloise so, so very much, “I missed you too, Bridgerton.”

“Why didn’t we do this sooner?” Eloise sighed out and reached out, but Cressida couldn’t risk the distraction.

She gave her a half shrug as she got up to grab the hotel room service menu, “Are you hungry? I’m afraid I’ve made you miss lunch and dinner is nearly here as well.”

Eloise’s eyes bulged, and she looked at the time on her phone, “Oh I-”

“Please don’t say you have to go,” Cressida blurted in a blind panic, she didn’t want this to end. She had till Friday before she had to be anywhere for work, so she could avoid the real world for a few more days, “Stay. Please, I’ll sleep on the couch. You can have the bed, just stay.”

Eloise watched her and a slow smile began to spread out over her face, “I was just going to say, I need to give my agent a call. Otherwise, I have no plans until my panel on Friday. I was just going to see the city.”

“Oh.”

“Don’t worry, I found that cute, instead of weird and desperate,” Eloise stood and gave her a little wave before she stepped to the side and pressed a phone to her ear.

Cressida flushed and busied herself flipping through the book and deciding just to call down for one of every item on the short menu. She didn’t want Eloise to feel like she couldn’t pick something due to the high price, plus it wouldn’t really matter; her agency was paying for everything.

She’d never been in trouble for abusing the benefit before, meanwhile countless others had, she could plead her way out of this.

Eloise rounded the corner and smiled brightly at her, “There. I’m all yours.”

Cressida’s stomach did a pleasant swoop at her words and she tried to ignore the way her hands shook a little against the cool of the hotel desk, “O-oh, good. Well, I ordered for us. I wasn’t sure what you’d want. So I just got it all.”

“Everything?” Eloise’s eyebrow was arched, and she returned to the spot she’d occupied on the couch, “Isn’t that a bit much for the two of us? Do you even eat real food?”

Cressida scowled at her and pushed up from the desks to settle back down beside Eloise, “Yes,” It wasn’t that much of a stretch, she ate normal food just she ate differently around walks. Healthier, and she worked out a lot more than she would have otherwise, “I eat real food. What, you think I’m surviving on air and attention?”

“Hmph, maybe,” Eloise grumbled to herself, pulling her knees up to her chest as she glanced around the room before looking back at Cressida, “I dunno, you models seem to be a different species entirely.”

“Oh, really?” Cressida asked, laughing as she brought her hands up and wiggled her fingers at her, “I am some sort of terrifying beast, then?”

Eloise swallowed thickly, “Something like that.”

“Well, I assure you, I don’t bite,” Cressida gave Eloise one of her trusted smoulders, except this was just for Eloise, filled with Cressida’s hopeless love for her, “Often.”

Eloise gave her a strained laugh, and as expected, turned bright red under the full force of Cressida’s gaze. For the first time in years, she practically preened at the attention. She knew men fell over her left and right, but… This was Eloise. It was a new kind of head rush.

There was a moment while Eloise was watching her, where Cressida felt almost certain Eloise was seconds from climbing into her lap. Cressida’s hands spasmed at the thought, and she had to clench them tightly in her lap, she was perhaps a little more nervous than she was prepared for. Boys had been easy, plus they had all… Sucked if she was being completely honest. But, she’d never tried anything with another girl. Nothing outside of dancing with other models for fun or business, which hadn’t meant anything.

How could it? When Eloise filled her mind constantly, like cicadas in the summertime.

Two months ago, she’d been in upstate New York for an outdoors shoot, and the second she’d stepped out of the car it had been overwhelming. It was a constant buzzing scream throughout the entire shoot, practically everyone on the set was irritated. She’d been mildly bothered until she heard one of the PA’s saying that it was the males in the tree’s screaming all day until they managed to find their mate. For the rest of the shoot, she more than sympathized with them; she'd scream from the top of a tree too, if it brought Eloise to her.

“Okay, you’re terrifying,” Eloise breathed shoving at her shoulder, “You can stop giving me your sexy model look, I feel like I’m looking at a centrefold of you or something.”

“Oh, please,” Cressida rolled her eyes and flipped over to look up, “You’ll know when I give you centrefold eyes.”

Eloise’s jaw snapped shut, and she nodded, “Right, so speaking of-”

There was a knock at the door, Cressida shot Eloise an apologetic look as she moved to let their order be brought in. She pulled a neutral face to save herself the embarrassment of watching three separate people wheel in three entirely full carts. They left as quick as they came, but Eloise was already eyeing all the food, which, really she hadn’t eaten anything all day either.

With the conversation they still needed to have, set to the side again, they dove head first into the plethora of food spread before them. Cressida flicked the telly on, she nearly choked on her bite of a chip, when Mean Girls filled the screen.

Eloise laughed loudly and Cressida found a little bit of her ire at the movie over the last few years melted away. It was hard to be mad at it when she remembered all it had done for her, “It’s tradition! Even the universe thinks so.”

Cressida played her part, for the first time in a long time, it felt good to say once more, “Whatever, Janis.”

“Just watch, Regina,” Eloise retorted, a warm smile on her face as she slid noticeably closer to Cressida as they ate freely off the carts.

Eloise had been delighted to find that the menu had included a plate that was overflowing with chocolate chip cookies. She’d been so enamoured with her excitement that she’d eaten half a cookie, then when she’d been teased relentlessly for it; she let Eloise feed her the other half of the cookie after that.

She ate her fill and sat back, watching as if she’d been sent back in time, as Eloise ate and watched the movie with as much rapt attention as she always had. Cressida didn’t bother hiding the way her gaze was trained on Eloise. Even when Eloise peered over at her, giving her a questioning look, before she turned back to the movie.

It took two more looks before Eloise huffed and turned to the side, “What? Is there something on my face?”

Cressida was about to shake her head until she glanced over her face, and did find a smear of chocolate on the corner of her lip, she huffed a laugh, “Yes, actually,” Without thinking she reached out and brushed her thumb over the chocolate, “I can get it.”

There had been very little forethought on Cressida’s part, for how close this ended up bringing them. Eloise’s breath hitched as Cressida’s thumb swiped along the corner of her lips, lingering for just a moment on her bottom lip. It wasn’t her fault, she got lost in Eloise’s eyes and the building desire to kiss her again. She just- Didn’t exactly know how to go about that. Eloise had kissed her first last time.

It had been easier that way, she’d never initiated before with anyone.

Everything was frustratingly new to her, despite how long she’d been sure of this aspect of herself.

“Thanks,” Eloise whispered, her lips brushing against Cressida’s thumb as she spoke, “Did you get all of it?”

Cressida pulled her thumb back, and there was still a small smear of chocolate, she reflexively ran her tongue along her lower lip. Eloise’s eyes followed the movement intently for a moment, before she was once again, being kissed by Eloise Bridgerton.

The taste of chocolate was far better on Eloise, than it had been on the cookie.

Just as she was about to reach forward for Eloise, the other girl pulled back looking shocked at herself, “I’m sorry, I’m not normally like this,” Eloise had puled away, but she didn’t really look or sound all that sorry as she spoke, “I don’t usually lunge at people like this.”

“Glad to know I’m special then,” Cressida grinned at her and Eloise rolled her eyes, there was a moment of a smile back before it fell into something more serious.

“I-I, We do have to talk about this now Cressida. I-I can’t just do this with you and have it mean nothing,” Eloise practically begged, and she nodded along, they couldn’t dance around it forever, “Okay so… What did you want from this?”

“You could never be nothing to me,” Cressida blurted out, “Well, really, my therapist told me it would be good to reconnect. She said I was-” Cressida shifted and cleared her throat slightly, “Hung up, and that I needed a resolution. One way or another.”

“Oh,” Eloise seemed slightly taken aback by her answer, “I didn’t. I kind of thought maybe this was a-a- I don’t know what I thought I guess.”

“It was rather out of the blue I suppose,” Cressida acknowledged, giving her a half smile. Apparently she just couldn’t stop telling Eloise things she’d never told anyone else. She didn’t have to mention the therapist, she could have just said she’d called.

Eloise just brought it out of her.

“I’ll say, first time I’ve heard from you since you walked away that night-” Cressida tried to mask the guilty look that washed over her, but Eloise was never one to miss a thing. She zeroed in on her, “What?”

“Uh- Nothing,” Cressida shook her head and stood. She moved to the desk in the corner where her jewellery was laid out and began unarming herself of her Chanel rings, “I should have called sooner that’s all.”

She could feel Eloise’s eyes fixed on her back, “Okay, suspicious. What are you hiding?”

Cressida huffed and could feel Eloise’s determination building as if it were in the air around them, “Will you give this one up?”

Eloise was quick to reply, like Cressida didn’t already know, “No.”

“I called once. Years ago,” She shrugged and turned, crossing her arms over her chest as she looked down at her feet. It was better than looking anywhere near Eloise as she was trying to figure out a way to half admit this.

“You did? I think I would have remembered that,” Cressida heard as Eloise stood and moved closer to her.

“Well, I- Ugh,” Cressida tossed her hands up and just gave up looking over at Eloise again, “Fine. I may have pretended to be someone else.”

Eloise grew slightly sceptical, and she took a half step back, “… Who?”

Cressida covered her face in her hands and just pressed the heels of her palms into her eyes for a moment, she just had to do it and get it over with. If she ever wanted a future- She shivered. A future, she was sitting here actually thinking about a future with Eloise. What did a little embarrassment matter in the face of finally building something real with the woman she’d been in love with for over a decade?

She took a deep breath in and tried to pull together the same drunken voice she’d used all those years earlier, “Es ist Julia.”

Eloise made a strangled sound across from her and Cressida pulled her hands back when it sounded more like she was choking. Eloise hit herself on the chest and made a series of incomprehensible noises before she finally got words shouted out, “You were the orgy call?!”

“Orgy?! It was a club bathroom!!” Cressida defended meeting Eloise’s shout, but admittedly, either way it did not exactly look good for her.

“Why was there so much sex noise?!” Eloise exclaimed back her eyes wide, and she threw her hands out, “It sounded like you were in the middle of a group gang bang!”

“Okay, well only two people were having sex! A few others were crying, and I was just- I was drunk, and I missed you, and I was jealous!” Cressida bit out, her shoulders climbing up around her ears as she tacked on softly, “I’ve never been to an orgy.”

“You were jealous?”

“Why’d you say it like that?”

“Oh my god Cressida look at yourself!”

She reflexively looked down as if she’d stained her shirt and not noticed, Eloise scream groaned into her hands before she pulled them down her face and looked up at her.

“How do you not get that you are an actual goddess?” Eloise looked at her as if it were the most obvious thing in the world, “For years, I have been seeing my, assumed straight, ex-best friend and school crush- Look, Jesus Cress- Hot! Everywhere! And then everywhere I turned you were hanging off some rich or famous man or another’s arm. You were jealous?! I don’t think I ever stopped hating Twilight after I saw you pictured with him!”

It honestly took Cressida a moment to recall exactly what Eloise was talking about, “Who? Robert? Please. Not interested,” Cressida had been seen with him a couple of years ago, but it had just been a strange happenstance. They’d bumped into each other in LA and both been rather homesick. They’d spend the entire dinner reminiscing about grey clouds and dreary days while drinking a few pints. Then like a gentleman he’d dropped her back off at her hotel, “We were just homesick.”

“How do you not see how-” Eloise just kind of wildly waved her hands at Cressida’s entire body, “You are?”

A laugh bubbled out of her at Eloise’s gesture, “What on earth do you mean?”

“I just mean- Ugh- Cressida you are-”

“Not very eloquent for a writer.”

“Shut up, I have a hard time thinking straight when it comes to you.”

“I’d have thought you always have a hard time thinking straight-” A pillow from the couch collided with Cressida’s face, and suddenly they were both doubled over laughing as they chucked pillows at one another. It had been so long, Cressida had missed this ease that she always felt in Eloise’s presence.

No matter how heavy the topic.

“You’re intentionally being an arse aren’t you?” Eloise asked once they both ended up back on the couch, firmly planted on opposite ends of the couch. They had to talk about this. They actually needed to go over it all.

“Maybe a bit,” She mumbled, shrugging before she stood up and ignored Eloise’s protesting grumble, “Hold on. I need to get changed and take all my makeup off if we’re getting into this. I’m not doing this looking like, well, this.”

“Fine,” Eloise eventually conceded after a few moments of silent deliberation, “But let me borrow some comfortable clothing too, I want sleeves. I didn’t think this was going to be a whole day thing, or I would have brought a coat.”

“Yeah, why didn’t you?” Cressida asked as she disappeared into the walk in closet to rummage through her bags for something suitable for them both.

“I was trying to look all cool and fashionable,” Cressida heard grumbled out from behind her, and it made her feel weirdly good to know Eloise had gone out of the way to look good for their meeting. Even when she still thought Cressida was a straight girl occupied by whoever this week's leading man was.

“Well, you did succeed. I rather thought you did a good job putting it together,” Cressida complimented, coming back out with a cashmere pair of sweatpants and an oversized sweatshirt for a concrete supply company. It was one of the first places that hired her for any sort of modelling. She didn’t really go anywhere without it, “Here, you can use these.”

Eloise’s smile turned elated as she felt the pants, “Oh my god, how are these so soft?”

“I got them as a gift, you can keep them if you’d like,” Cressida said, ignoring the torrent of butterflies in her stomach at the thought of Eloise in her clothes, “I’ve got more.”

“Ooh, such a big fancy model you are,” Eloise teased as she disappeared into the hotel's bathroom.

Cressida stuck her tongue out at Eloise’s back and disappeared back into the closet to change into something similar, except hers were a soft pink and the top matched. She had a matching one for Eloise’s bottoms as well, she just may have wanted to see Eloise in her favourite jumper. Once she’d changed, she wiped her face free of make up and unpinned her hair. It felt good to just be nothing, but Cressida once more, though it was a little more nerve wracking to have this conversation while she was… Defenceless. When she was Cressida the model, she had power, and she knew how to use it, but that didn’t apply here.

Now that she was laid bare literally and figuratively, it all felt so much more real.

After more than a few fortifying breaths she came back out and was immediately met with the sight of Eloise curled up in the corner of the couch. Her pants had to be rolled up a few times to accommodate Eloise, and her sweatshirt hung well past the tips of her fingers, “Are you ready to talk?”

“Yeah,” Eloise patted the spot beside her and Cressida settled in, Eloise pushed forward- Never one to avoid the topic at hand, “So. I liked you. You liked me. Where does that leave us now?”

“Like.”

“What?”

“You said liked. I said like,” Cressida replied indignantly, “The tense is important.”

Eloise’s face went from confused to grinning like a fool in a matter of moments, “Okay, like… So? Where does it leave us?”

“Well, I have a week in New York, it seems like you do too,” Cressida shrugged slightly, “I suppose we figure out what goes on from there.”

“Meaning you want it to? Go on, that is.”

“If that were something that you also were interested in.”

“And what exactly would we be doing that you would want to go on?”

Eloise really was going to force her to spell it out, which in the face of years of ambiguity, made sense it just… Wasn’t the easiest thing to do.

“Well, if you’d be open to it. Maybe, walks, or we could go out to eat or- or,” Eloise’s silence was dragging, and she was just watching Cressida scramble, “Or, we could just hang out sometimes, when convenient, if you wanted. It could just be like a-as friends too.”

“And if I didn’t want that?” Eloise asked softly, Cressida desperately wished she were holding her hand right now. It might make it easier.

“Then, dates?” Cressida asked picking at the nail on her thumb to avoid looking at Eloise again while that floated between them.

“I’d like that. Dates, that if successful, lead into a relationship?” Eloise asked rather directly and Cressida finally looked up at her, of course Eloise would just spell it out for them now.

“Well, that would be my intention I think,” Cressida nodded and tried to hold back the manic smile that threatened to take over her whole face. It felt impossible that she was sitting here having this conversation, that this was real.

“You think?”

“I know.”

“Good,” Eloise nodded as if that set it all in stone, “Then I forgive you for being ridiculous for all these years, and not calling me.”

“You never called me either!” Cressida shot back in defence, before she realized that Eloise had essentially just agreed to date her. As long as everything went well, which, everything would go well. She would do anything to make sure it went well. She’d messed this up far too many times in the past to risk doing anything to mess it up now, “And I did call you!”

“As a fake German and I bloody well-tried!” Eloise called back, “Your number stopped going through like two days later!”

“Oh- Right.” What had happened returned to Cressida in a second, and she suddenly felt even more foolish.

She’d cut her parents off and ran a few days after graduation. Her dad cut her phone and all of her cards off almost immediately, and she’d lost her old number. Why had she never thought about that? This was all such a mess. It was honestly a miracle they’d even made it here. One she vowed to protect, and do anything to maintain for as long as Eloise let her.

“Yeah, right!” Eloise huffed and pushed at her foot with her own, “You could have called me while not drunk in a bathroom. Why on earth did you pretend to be German anyway?”

“I panicked,” Cressida mumbled her cheeks heating, “I just wanted to hear your voice- I thought we were done with this!”

“No. You avoided the topic!”

“Actually, I do think it was actually you who diverted us, talking about how pretty I am,” Cressida teased only to be met by Eloise’s face of indignation, “It’s true.”

“Whatever. You’re avoiding the topic again.”

“Fine! I just, all I could think about that night was you. I’d danced with a girl who was trying to impress some rich guy, and you were the only thing on my mind,” Cressida shrugged like it was nothing but Eloise just watched her, “All I wanted was you.”

“You were in a club? Dancing with a model? And all you could think of was me?” Eloise sounded in almost disbelief, Cressida couldn’t have that.

“Eloise, I'm always thinking about you. Always,” Cressida shook her head and grasped at the empty air as if it could help her, “You haunt me.”

“Is that a bad thing?” Eloise asked hesitantly, the air in the hotel room felt heavy. Everything between them felt heavy lately, Cressida wanted more than anything to fix it.

“No. It could never be a bad thing. You could never be a bad thing,” Cressida whispered and this time she didn’t ignore the urge, she reached out and grabbed Eloise’s hand, “You’re everything to me.”

“I’ve never been able to stop thinking about you,” Eloise blurted out in response as she traced her free hand’s thumb along the hem of the jumper, “I have all of your first adverts. I watched everything you did. Not in a weird way! Just, I was proud of you. I was glad you’d started succeeding outside your parents.”

“Thanks,” She mumbled, squeezing her hand gently, “I-I don’t think it’s creepy.” Actually, it suddenly made everything she’d done feel better, to know that Eloise was there watching it all, “I’m proud of you. You really are an incredible writer. You and Penelope both.”

Eloise shrugged slightly, “Guess that’s what happens when you both spend most of your youth and free time writing stories together.”

“Where was I in all that?” Cressida asked, brow furrowing slightly.

“Well- A lot of it was before we started hanging out,” Eloise shrugged before busying herself picking at the hem of the jumper, “Then, after- I just, I dunno it would have been weird. Honestly, I would have rather died than had you read any of my work back then. Plus, turns out Pen was running the Gossip Blog, and she didn’t want anyone to find out.”

“Penelope was Lady Whistledown?!” Cressida absolutely shouted out, there had been so much speculation as to who was running the blog. As far as Cressida knew, it had never come to light.

“Oh you didn’t hear? Yeah, end of year right before graduation. Colin announced it at her party, said he couldn’t let her go down without having credit for one of the greatest accomplishments in school history,” Eloise smirked, this one Cressida knew. Eloise knew something no one else did, “Huge change of heart for him. He’d been bloody livid when he caught her. Apparently they’d been… Erm, together, and she’d accidentally left the page up on her laptop, and he got sight of it.”

“Why on earth was he so mad?” Cressida asked brow furrowing, she’d never really read the blog, didn’t think it would do anything to help her already fragile hold on her complicated web of lies.

“How far removed were you? In our year nine, so for you and him, ten and eleven. She got- Rather jealous and ripped him apart in the blog,” Eloise pulled a face, Cressida vaguely remembered something like that just because it had to do with Eloise honestly, “It got him dumped, and it took him ages to get his friends to forget about all of it. He’d never forgiven the mysterious ‘Lady Whistledown’ so to find out it had been his girlfriend of nearly two years… Well. You can imagine.”

“Geez, yeah, when you put it like that, I’m surprised he even came around. Well, I guess I am assuming he came around to it, considering they're married, and have a second kid on the way,” Cressida laughed and Eloise practically glowed when she’d said it. How was she this perfect?

“Yeah, they came around. She actually helps edit his travel guides. Honestly they wouldn’t be half as good without her, but it makes them happy,” Eloise had this far off look in her eyes and she sounded almost wistful, as if she was longing for someone or perhaps something, that had almost been hers.

As long as she wasn’t thinking about Phillipa. That was the past. The past didn’t matter any more. She was tired of letting it hold her back, and she hoped Eloise was on the same page.

Cressida wanted her future. Their future.

“What would make you happy?” Cressida found herself asking breathlessly, without allowing herself a second thought before her traitorous mouth spoke.

Eloise’s hand in hers twitched, and she opened and clothed her mouth a few times before finally, “Someone I love, who loves me. Both leading successful careers and lives- Together. Someone to share my good and my bad with. Someone to listen.”

Cressida could do that, she would do that. She would share in it all as long as it was with Eloise.

Eloise spoke up as Cressida’s silence dragged on, “What, um, what about you?”

“Oh, well,” What was she supposed to say? That her future now felt like it could have so many things that would make her happy, “I guess… It’s not something I’ve thought that much about,” Lie, she often thought only about what the two of them might one day serve at their wedding, or name their children. Pork, and Frederick, “I guess really I’d just like someone to make a home with. Did you know I haven’t had an actual flat since I was 19? I just stay in hotels or rent out furnished places and live out of suitcases. It’s actually cheaper.”

Eloise’s face fell slightly, “Well what’s holding you back?”

“I didn’t think it was worth it before. Why rent a flat that would be empty all the time and why bother going back to England if there was nothing there for me?” She shrugged and tightened her grip around her legs, “I-I think I’d like to have a home to come back too.”

“I have a home,” Eloise tossed out, quickly covering her outburst with more context in true Eloise fashion, “It has more than one bedroom! And there’s a yard, and plenty of… Light. Not that you’d have to stay there! It’s just. I have a home. In London. Just- Putting it out there.”

Cressida couldn’t stop the smile from spreading out across her face, “I’d love to visit your home. In London. If you’re offering.”

“Really?” There was a moment of disbelief before Eloise seemingly pulled herself together, “Yes! I’m totally offering! That would be great. I’d love to have you. You can meet Emily and Elton!” Cressida arched a brow at her, “Dickinson and John. They’re my cats, siblings I think. I found them trapped in a Chinese takeaway box three years ago. They were no bigger than my palm back then.”

Cats! Cressida had always wanted cats. It just hadn’t exactly made sense to get a cat she’d just pay someone to take care of for her. Plus it made it easier to never set down any roots, “I can’t wait to meet them.”

“They might hate you at first, but they’ll warm up. You can give Elton some ham, and he’ll love you forever,” Eloise assured beaming at her and Cressida felt warm all over at the thought of future plans. They hadn’t even finished figuring out exactly what this was, Eloise still kept trying to hold onto an air of firmness, but already she’d been invited to meet her cats and feed them ham!

That had to be a good thing.

“I can’t wait,” Cressida whispered earnestly and Eloise gave her an assessing look.

“You really mean it don’t you?”

“I do… You really wrote your first book about us?”

“I can’t believe you’ve read that.”

“That’s not an answer.”

“…Yes.”

~

Present Day, September 4th, 2013 - Room 620

“It’s really already midnight?” Eloise asked through a jaw cracking yawn, and Cressida felt like there were surely hearts in her eyes as she watched her curl farther in on herself. Cressida was almost confident she’d been asleep for the last twenty minutes, but she hadn’t been willing to say anything, and break the softness of the moment between them.

“Just past,” Cressida confirmed through a small yawn of her own, brought on by Eloise.

“Funny- I don’t feel tired at all,” Eloise announced, repressing the second yawn that seemed to threaten her.

“Well, it might be good just to lay down,” Cressida mumbled getting up and helping Eloise get up off the couch, “Come on, at least let me get you in bed.”

“Miss Cowper how scandalous,” Eloise huffed, laughing at herself in her arms, but she complied regardless, “Fine, if that'll make you happy.”

“It would,” Cressida mumbled as she hid her smile from the tired girl before her, “Come on, climb in.”

Cressida tucked in the sleepily blinking brunette, and turned to get some extra linens from the closet so she could dress the couch. Once she was settled as comfortably as possible on the couch she called out to Eloise, “How are you doing, Sleepy?”

“Mph-ine,” Eloise grumbled out and there were a few more moments until gentle snores filled the room, and Cressida laughed to herself.

She shifted to watch the city light as they reflected through the window, everything felt too good to be true.

They’d talked, they’d ended up watching some bad reality tv, and Cressida saw a side of Eloise she never had before, but the moment she did it made absolute sense. Eloise had yelled at the telly, and dealt insults at the men making poor, and airheaded decisions. At one point Eloise had insulted one of the contestants' karaoke rendition of a Lana song and… When she’d ended up singing it for Eloise instead, she’d sworn the girl had almost cried.

The moment the last lyric faded, and Cressida’s chest heaved against the sudden use of her lungs, Eloise had hit her. She’d declared it unfair that she looked and sounded like an angel, which had made Cressida choke and stutter her reply.

Eloise had looked rather proud of herself.

They hadn’t kissed again, though.

Eloise had been true to her word and she hadn’t jumped her since, and Cressida hadn’t worked up the courage to ask, or do anything about it herself.

Yet. She would. They had time.

Tomorrow.

They would talk more tomorrow and she would be brave.

They had already talked a lot, and Cressida felt like maybe they’d jumped a few all ready, but it felt right. Eloise had even said something about Cressida eventually needing to arrange time in her schedule for a Bridgerton family dinner. They hadn’t even kissed a third time, and Eloise was pre-planning bringing her home. Cressida had done nothing to reject it, she would do anything for Eloise, and a meeting with the Bridgerton clan would only help build their future.

Plus she rather missed them all.

Violet, especially.

Cressida found that her mind wouldn’t quit thinking, she watched the lights, and listened to Eloise’s steady breathing. It was hard to sleep when you’d just had the best day of your life. Everything she’d dreamed of… Everything she’d written off as impossible.

It was right here in front of her, so close she could almost grab it.

The more her thoughts turned, the more she felt a tug of the emptiness that had followed her for so long. Tears welled in her eyes, and she quickly wiped them before they could fall. It was ridiculous to be crying, she really had nothing to be sad about, she just- She was relieved. After years, after years of this she had an answer. Bad or good. Her therapist had been right.

But, god was she glad it was good. Of all the ways this could have ended when she’d been catastrophizing before calling to leave her voicemail. She’d never expected it would be this, Eloise asleep in her bed while she- Had emotional revelations on a couch?

She rolled to the side and stretched out slightly, the couch really wasn’t meant for the most comfortable of experiences. She rearranged a few pillows, and was busy punching one into shape, when a rough chuckle interrupted her manhandling.

Cressida hadn’t noticed Eloise’s breathing change, she hadn’t meant for her to find out how poor the sleep was, “Why don’t you just sleep in the bed? There’s plenty of space.”

Cressida thought about it for a moment from where she sat half propped up, fist in a hard cushion. She really shouldn’t, perhaps sleeping in a bed with Eloise would be too much for them too soon. But… “Are you sure?”

“Just come to bed.”

Cressida let herself think about it for only a few more seconds, before she pushed up and made for the other side of the bed. Eloise was sat slightly up, looking nearly wide awake compared to the way she’d been dead to the world a few hours ago, “Thanks,” She mumbled, as she slipped beneath the sheets and settled in beside Eloise.

“It’s nothing,” Eloise shrugged and gave Cressida a soft smile as she settled back against the pillows, facing Cressida.

There was a moment of hesitation, where Eloise searched Cressida’s face, before she leaned forward. They were so close, Cressida’s heart felt like it was beating in her throat, Eloise leaned in, and seconds before their lips were to brush. At the last second, she pulled up and brushed her lips carefully to Cressida’s forehead, “Good night.”

Cressida felt heat rush through her at the touch of Eloise’s lips to her skin, she didn’t want it to end. She didn’t want the other girl to pull away. She wanted to be brave. Cressida reached a tentative hand out, and wrapped it around Eloise’s waist, the other woman stilled at her touch. It was now or never-

Cressida carefully tilted her head up, pushing up off the bed to bring their lips closer together. She pressed their cheeks together for just a moment before their noses brushed, and a soft noise pulled from the back of Eloise’s throat. Cressida had scarcely brushed their lips together, her hand practically shaking from where it held Eloise’s waist, but Eloise didn’t make her wait any longer. She tilted her head down and closed the centimetres of distance left between them, their lips pressed together, and Cressida moaned.

This kiss was nothing like their others.

It was slow, deliberate, and it made her blood feel like liquid fire in her veins.

The hand Eloise wasn’t using to prop herself up cradled Cressida’s cheek, and she bit at Cressida’s lower lip, drawing out a jagged breath from her. Eloise’s rough voice, only a breath from her skin interrupted the kiss-induced daze she’d fallen into, “Have you ever done this before?”

Be so turned on she can’t see straight?

Be with the woman she loved?

Be with a woman in general?

“No,” She breathed out and pushed forward, she wouldn’t let their lips part for a moment longer. Not after she’d been thinking about it all night, watching Eloise’s lips anytime she got close, and longing.

Eloise nodded and moved them, letting Cressida lay entirely back on the bed as she settled on top of her, as she whispered into Cressida’s skin, “I’ll take care of you.”

Cressida audibly groaned, and her legs spread on instinct, as Eloise slipped a thigh between her thighs, and she leaned down over her. A curtain of brown blocked out the rest of the world, and Cressida ran her fingers along the hem of her jumper, that still hung beautifully off Eloise.

“Touch me, baby,” Cressida begged as Eloise’s hand hovered over her ribcage, she couldn’t stand it, she needed Eloise’s hands on her immediately. She was certain the world would collapse around her if she didn’t find out soon what it felt like to have Eloise’s hands on her skin.

Eloise groaned into her lips and her hand settled down over her top, tracing along her rib cage as she pulled back to whisper, “Say it again.”

“Touch me,” Cressida begged again, unwilling to deny Eloise anything at the moment.

Eloise’s hand slid down, and pressed into her hip, “Again.”

Cressida wrapped an arm around Eloise’s neck brushing her tongue against Eloise’s as their mouths connected once more. Once they were flush together she kissed her way along Eloise’s jaw to whisper in her ear, “Touch me.”

Eloise’s hand slipped under her shirt and they both moaned into the kiss as her hand pressed flush with Cressida’s overheated skin. The calloused pads of Eloise’s fingers brushed across the curve of her hip, and Cressida shivered, pressing their hips together. Eloise’s hand twitched against her, before it slipped upwards to find Cressida had discarded her bra before bed, “Cressida-”

“Touch me,” Cressida gasped immediately in response, she knew what Eloise wanted, what she needed. She would never deny her again. She’d pushed Eloise, and her feelings for the other girl, down a million times. Never again.

Eloise’s hand cupped her breast and Cressida arched into her, pressing their lips together again, a gasp pulling from her as Eloise’s knee pressed into her. At the exact same moment Eloise nipped at her lip, and allowed her fingers to tug gently at her nipple. Cressida swore as she twitched her hips into Eloise, and gripped tightly to her neck. Eloise didn’t even need to ask this time, maybe Cressida needed to say it this time more than Eloise needed to hear it.

“Touch me,” She begged as her other hand came up to cradle Eloise’s jaw as her hips rolled into the tense plane of Eloise’s thigh, “Please, Eloise.”

Eloise’s hand shook as it travelled down her side, tracing unknown patterns into every part of her skin that they brushed over, until they came to rest at the line of her sweats. Cressida practically writhed beneath her, every touch felt like it was magnified times a hundred. Whether it was because it was with a woman, or because it was Eloise, Cressida wasn’t sure: but she suspected the latter.

“I know you want it, baby,” She whispered, tracing her lips along the shell of Eloise’s ear, as nails scraped at her hip, “You can have it.”

There was a groan at the juncture of her neck and shoulder as fingers slipped beneath her waist band and teeth nipped at her neck. Eloise hesitated as her fingertips brushed past damp curls, “Is this okay?”

“Christ, Bridgerton, yes!” Cressida groaned into the air as her hips twitched against nothing still. Bloody noble Bridgerton, why’d she have to fall in love with the only one possessing an ounce of chivalry when it came to this kind of thing. Cressida found herself rather characteristically demanding, “Won’t you fucking touch me?”

Eloise bit down and brushed her tongue over the mark as her fingers dipped between Cressida’s legs, and she truly saw stars. Her fingers knew exactly what they were doing, there was no shy uncoordinated fumbling, that had never succeeded in getting her off. Eloise moved back up and pressed their lips together once more as Cressida found herself truly incapable of speech. Words had been coming out of her mouth, but she’d never be able to tell you what she’d been saying.

Likely, something along the lines of…

Touch me, baby; touch me, touch me, touch me, touch me.

Eloise’s fingers circled her clit, before dipping down to tease at her entrance and Cressida dragged her hands down Eloise’s back to slide up under her shirt. She needed it off. Needed Eloise’s skin against hers. She was having a hard time with words, grabbing at whatever she could reach, while she mumbled nonsense into Eloise’s lips. Cressida wasn’t entirely sure how it happened, but by the time two of Eloise’s fingers were rhythmically pumping in and out of her; the both of them had been stripped bare.

“Yes, yes, yes- Eloise,” She didn’t have an ounce of her brain to spare for the nerves she’d worried about earlier, she was too overwhelmed by the pleasure coursing through her. Her legs had fallen open and Eloise had settled between her thighs, so now she wrapped her legs around Eloise’s hips and scratched lines down her back as the other woman made her vision swim and her thighs quake, “D-Don’t stop. Please!”

Eloise’s voice was rough, it had felt like far too long since she’d heard it last, and it made everything she was feeling dial sharply into focus, “I won’t ever stop,” Eloise vowed into the skin of her jaw, before she began kissing down her body, “I just want to make you feel good.”

Cressida’s struggling mind slurred her response out, “So good,” She groaned as Eloise continued down, her hands weaving into the chestnut brown locks, “Such a good girl.”

Eloise groaned loudly into her thigh at the praise, before she kissed up and sped up her hand, ripping an unexpected moan free from Cressida. She’d never been loud before, but as Eloise hands travelled over her, she couldn’t help it. Whatever neighbour shared this back wall was definitely getting… A show. Normally, functional Cressida who thinks things through, would be mortified. This Cressida spread out beneath Eloise- Naked in Manhattan- She couldn’t bring herself to care in the slightest.

Not when the heat of their bodies pressed together made her head spin, and Eloise’s tongue fluttered over her clit while she worked a third finger into her. Cressida felt like her voice was going hoarse as she cried out for Eloise, over, and over, and over again. Their skin was slick with sweat, and Cressida’s whole body was shaking, she didn’t want this to end. Her vision was practically going black as she lost herself in the pleasure, or perhaps she’d closed her eyes, she couldn’t exactly tell.

Eloise pulled up and Cressida’s eyes flew open as she groaned in protest, oh good, she could still see. Eloise surged forward and crashed their lips together, Cressida’s hips rolled frantically into Eloise’s hand now, and Eloise panted into her lips, “Please, Cressida,” The sound of her was everything as she begged, “Let go, come for me.”

How could she resist?

Eloise hooked her fingers, and Cressida’s body tensed before she felt herself let go, and pleasure rocked through her as she cried out, “Eloise, Eloise, Eloise!”

For once her inner monologue filled the room as her hands dug into Eloise and kept her body clutched close. As if she might fade away the moment the head rush ends, as she might have any other day Cressida dared to find herself bold enough to try on her own. Eloise’s voice was in her ear, saying things that made her eyes roll back in her head and her hips twitch as Eloise’s fingers continued to work her through it.

“So pretty,” Eloise whispered as she braced herself above her, keeping their skin as flush as it could be. Cressida almost felt like she couldn’t breathe. It had never been like this before, “You feel so good, so perfect,” Her head spun, “You’re absolutely soaking the sheets, darling,” Cressida spasmed slightly at that and swore under her breath, “You’re mine.” She groaned out as Cressida’s nails dragged down her back.

“Yours!” Cressida gasped out, finally having to jerk her hips away as the stimulation quickly built to be too much, “Yours.” She vowed again before she pulled their lips back together and rolled on top of Eloise.

Cressida remained pressed close together, it was like a drug, the feeling of Eloise against her. The knowledge that this was finally the woman she loved beneath her, desperate for her, just as she was desperate in return. The idea of sleep had eluded her all night, and now she couldn’t imagine using the rest of their evening for anything but this. Eloise was laid out beneath her, like her own personal Venus of Urbino, and Cressida wanted nothing more than to map every inch of her.

Eloise pulled them back together so she could connect their lips again, “How are you real?”

Cressida shifted to straddle Eloise’s lap and settle on her knees as her hands slowly trailed over every inch of Eloise. Her hands explored everywhere she could reach without disconnecting their lips. She tried to remember every reaction, every moan and twitch. She never wanted to forget this, “Only for you.”

Eloise swore quite a bit louder than she had, which sent a pulse of pride through her, as Cressida ghosted her hands along her outer thighs and earned herself a frustrated shout of her name, “Cressida!”

“I just want to touch you,” Cressida groaned out her hands extending their exploration to brush up between her thighs before dropping back down.

“Then do it!” Eloise barked out as she attempted to chase down Cressida’s hands with her hips.

“So needy,” Cressida whispered as she nipped at Eloise’s lower lip and finally allowed her hands to brush all the up along her inner thigh. A swear pulled free as her hand ran through the wetness that had dripped down Eloise’s thighs, “So wet.”

“So, slow-”

Cressida cut her off by finally slipping her fingers through the silken heat that waited for her, and Eloise gave her a strangled moan, that her mind reshaped itself around. She wanted to do anything to bring that out again and again, she never wanted to stop.

“Still want to complain?” Eloise shook her head as Cressida explored, and slowly began to circle the other woman’s clit, “Good girl.”

Eloise went pliant beneath her and Cressida slipped her fingers farther down, where she was met with Eloise’s hips. Which were immediately shifting to attempt to slide down closer to her as Cressida hurried to meet her need, “I’ve got you, baby.”

Eloise huffed, and her mouth dropped open as if she was going to reply, but Cressida slid two fingers into her at the exact same time, and her eyes rolled back into her head as she hissed, “Yess…”

Cressida got lost in the sensations. The slide of their bodies, the lingering pulse of her pleasure, Eloise’s scorching heat pulsing around her. She’d never understood it before, what people loved so much about this. Why men hounded her and her acquaintances down for it. Not until now, not until Eloise panted her name into the now sweltering heat of her hotel room, as her hips moved in tandem with Cressida’s fingers. She would do anything for this.

“Harder,” Eloise bit out and Cressida braced herself, quickly complying with her lover's request.

Anything to please her.

“Such a good girl,” Cressida groaned out, working with what she knew as Eloise rocked with her, “You’re everything.”

Eloise whined and clenched around her, “Need you, need- you-” Her fingers tangled into Cressida’s hair and tugged her downwards until she could trail kisses across her chest. Eloise held her firmly in place the moment Cressida bit down and swept her tongue over Eloise’s dusky pink nipple, “Yes! Please!”

Time slipped away and Eloise was the only thing that existed to Cressida. Making her feel good became the only thing that mattered. When she cried out at her first release, Cressida pushed onwards, and Eloise yanked her head up pressing their cheeks together as they moved as one. It was almost impossible to tell who ended, and where the other began.

Eloise pressed close against her and moved back ever so slightly, so close to pressing their lips messily together once more, “I love you,” Eloise gasped the words out.

Cressida felt a rush of adrenaline flood her, she picked up in speed and intensity. Eloise’s words turned to a steady ramble until it ended on a shout of Cressida’s name as she clenched down around Cressida’s fingers again.

Cressida wanted to go again. And again. She never wanted to stop.

Her fingers picked up pace once more, but Eloise released a strangled moan and pulled back. A whine left her as she slipped off of Cressida’s fingers, and she had only a moment of thought to it, before her fingers were in her mouth and she was morning at the flavour coating her tongue.

“Christ, Cowper,” Eloise sounded strangled as she watched Cressida lick her fingers clean, “You’re sure that was your first time?”

Cressida beamed and winked at her, “I’m a quick learner.”

“I’ll say,” Eloise whispered, tugging her down so they could snuggle together under the protective cover of the blanket.

“I love you too by the way,” Cressida whispered against Eloise’s bare shoulder, moving down to press her lips to a freckle where it sat along the back of her shoulder blade.

“You heard that, then?”

“Oh, baby,” Cressida said laughing, “I heard all of that, not sure who didn’t.”

“I’m honestly not sure if I’ve ever been quite that loud,” Eloise mumbled embarrassment tinging her voice, as she shifted slightly to roll into Cressida, and press her face into the other girl's neck, “Please don’t tell me you have a coworker next door who just heard all of that.”

“I’m honestly not sure, probably not, though,” Cressida was fairly certain the last time she’d seen it was some male model, he’d probably be busy enough on his own. No way he would have time to judge her for her escapades when he had work, and his own escapades.

“Small favours,” Eloise pressed a smile into Cressida’s collar bone, and trailed her fingers along Cressida’s back as she yawned and practically slurred out her words, “I think you may have orgasm’d my brain out of normal function.”

Cressida chuckled and snuggled into her as she closed her eyes and revelled in the press of skin and the comforting weight of Eloise resting against her, “I’m not sure that it works like that. I’d imagine it might be the jet lag. Come on, Darling, sleep now.”

“You sleep,” Eloise grumbled, and her hand pressed into Cressida’s lower back as Eloise wriggled around getting comfortable against her.

“I will,” Cressida whispered, kissing the top of her head.

“This is real right?” Eloise asked hesitantly after a few moments of silence had built between them, “I’ll wake up, and we’ll both still be here?”

“Promise,” Cressida whispered, honestly, she’s glad Eloise asked. Everything felt like a dream that started the moments their lips slotted together.

“Good night, Cress,” She felt the words more than heard them as they were whispered into her collar bone.

“Good night, El,” Cressida mumbled, letting her eyes drift shut, she probably wouldn’t be able to sleep, but it was always worth it to try.

She was out like a light in minutes, her cheek pressed to the top of Eloise’s head.

~

Present Day, September 4th, 2013 - Room 620

Cressida woke with a tangle of brown hair covering nearly her entire face, while another body was draped entirely over her, snoring and entirely unawares. She tried to slide her way out from under her human blanket, but Eloise tightened around her on instinct. She really needed to free herself, nature called, but apparently Eloise’s unconscious mind was a fierce competitor.

Truthfully, she had a hard time actually fighting for her freedom. She didn’t want to move, just as much as Eloise didn’t want to let her get up. Cressida gently began tracing her hands along the curve of Eloise’s bare hip before she travelled up and began tracing patterns along her back. Eloise relaxed into her, and she then tried to carefully slip herself free and put a pillow in her place.

The moment she shifted Eloise’s grip tightened but this time she was greeted with the sleep and exhaustion roughened voice of the woman pinning her in place, “Why you wan’ go?”

“I wouldn’t if I didn’t have to, darling,” Cressida murmured and a sleepy smile spread out across Eloise’s face, “I’ll be back, quick as I can.”

Eloise just huffed and flopped to the side, allowing Cressida to disappear into the bathroom.

Her phone was dead on the counter where she’d left it last night, and Eloise’s clothes from yesterday were stacked nicely on the counter. Cressida couldn’t help but warm as the barest traces of their existences intermingled, perhaps one day Eloise’s clothes would often be found stacked in her closets. As she got ready for the morning she couldn’t help, but search through herself for that typical panic, the unease and the fear that would have come years ago with something like this. It was nowhere to be found, the person she was when she’d been quite literally in a gutter in Paris, was nowhere to be found.

At least not right now.

She was just excited for what was to come, for who was waiting in her bed, for so long she’d been desperate for anything. Now everything she’d wanted to better herself for, the future that at times felt futile and nonexistent, was within her grasp. A variation of it at least. Things were different they would be different, Cressida wouldn’t let the fears and insecurities that had held her back for so long screw this up for her again.

Every day wasn’t this good, but she was still a long way from where she had been two years ago.

Cressida gave the door a lingering look before she faced herself in the mirror, and took her therapist’s advice. Putting her hand to the glass she repeated the words softly to herself, “You deserve love, you deserve happiness, you deserve good things.” It had been a morning recurrence for years, her therapist had recommended it since he’d pointed out that she tended to have a habit of catastrophizing immediately. Assuming the worst in people’s opinions of her, and herself.

It helped.

Kind of.

She shook herself free of her thoughts, and headed back, phone in hand to locate a charger, and then quickly return to Eloise’s warmth. She just definitely needed to call her agent within the next hour or so at least, especially after going dark for a full day in New York City. Knowing her history he was likely loosing it.

When she pushed back through to the bedroom Eloise was up and hastily looking for her loaned pyjamas, an air of anxiety radiating off of her.

“Woah, hey!” Cressida dropped her phone and snagged her top from the floor to at least have something as she steadied the half dressed Eloise, “What’s going on? What happened?”

Cold dread started to climb up Cressida’s neck. Did Eloise regret this? Had this been a mistake too? Had Cressida left her only for her to realize what a terrible thing she’d done?

Eloise glanced at Cressida’s phone on the ground, “Didn’t you see?”

“What?” She followed her line of sight, “Hm? Oh, its dead. What's going on? Do you need it? I don’t have a partner, or anything, if that’s what you think.”

“No, just…” Eloise scraped a hand over her face and reached towards the bed to grab her phone and shove it into Cressida’s hands, “Look. See for yourself.”

Cressida’s eyes widened as she looked through the string of texts that had come in a few hours ago from Penelope, right after they’d actually managed to settle down to sleep.

Pen-velope

WHORE WHAT?

Linked Article

Model Cressida Cowper Seen in Central Park with Unknown Brunette

Linked Article

Unknown Brunette Identified as Novelist Eloise Bridgerton

Linked Article

Photos Surface of Cowper and Bridgerton Locked in a Passionate Embrace

Cressida felt like time had slowed to a bit of a crawl as she looked through the messages.

She wasn’t breathing as she clicked on the last link and waited for the page to load in. She hadn’t seen anyone around them, much less anyone who would have known her and cared enough to take a photo. She certainly hadn’t seen anyone sleazy enough to take a photo and sell it to The Sun. Though, she supposed she wasn’t paying as much attention as she might have otherwise. The article pulled up and there was a bunch of garbage, speculation on what her latest man might feel about this slight, along with questions as to how the two even ended up together. Shows they don’t do a lick of research on their subjects.

She bypassed all the typical gossip nonsense and her heart stopped when she’d settled over the image. She’d been right when she said Eloise had been framed like a painting, “Oh.”

“I’m so, so sorry, Cressida,” Eloise’s voice sounded broken, a little like she was crying as well, but Cressida couldn’t bring herself to look away from the picture to check, “I didn’t know. Anthony didn’t know. He’s had me on several different emails already. He’s bloody raging, and he’s trying to get them to take it all down, whatever it takes.”

Cressida just shook her head slightly. Take it down? They should put it up, more places. This should get entered in contests- Shows. This is what she should send for reference photos now.

Museums, and every wall in the house they would one day own, because Cressida knew now more than ever she wasn’t ever letting this go. She’d seen thousands of pictures of herself over the years, more than she could likely ever count had been taken of her, but this. This picture was the only one that mattered.

More than the first shot of her career, more than the picture that put her on the map.

This slightly out of focus shot, probably taken by a tourist's subpar camera- It was the best photo of her that had ever been taken.

The reddish leaves shaded the sides of the photo, as the great branches of the oaks draped over the path to almost frame them in a heart. Eloise was pushed up on her tiptoes, both hands grasping Cressida’s cheeks, while Cressida’s arms had wrapped around her waist and lifted her up ever so slightly. The corner of her lips were pulled up into a grin, which explained a lot about why their teeth had clashed so often, and her hands were fisted into Eloise’s vest. It was visually stunning. It was a work of art.

Her eyes were welling with tears and there was nothing that she could do to stop it.

“Cressida,” Eloise begged, and she felt fingers wrap around her wrist, but it didn’t help pull her attention. Every second that she looked over the photo she found something else in it to love. The way Eloise’s hair blew slightly with the wind. The contrast of the fallen leaves against the black of the path. Eloise squeezed at her wrist, “Say something…”

“It’s…” She trailed off, what words could she possibly use, what on earth could she possibly say? None of it would do this justice.

Eloise filled her silence, “An invasion of privacy, I know. A total disregard to your personal life,” She tossed her hand up and began to pace, her arms moving as she spoke, “I’ll work with Anthony, we’ll get it all wiped away. I’ll come out on record and deny it all. Say we are old school friends, and it was just a,” Eloise paused slightly and tried to cover her wince, “friendly gesture-”

“No!” Cressida blurted out her eyes finally ripping away from the photo as she eyed Eloise in disbelief. Not again. They couldn’t do this again, they couldn’t write off everything that made life feel as if it were worth living as nothing more than a friendly gesture, “No. Don’t- Please. I don’t mind.”

“You… Don’t… Mind?” Eloise dragged each word out as if Cressida might secretly be moments away from breaking, and having a full meltdown over their circumstances.

Really- She should mind, and maybe she did, somewhere deep inside. It was fucked that someone took her chance to come out on her terms, and in her own time, but- If it was the cost for this photo…

She was finding a hard time feeling any of that irritation or panic at what all this revelation might bring down upon her.

“Did you look at the picture?” Cressida asked softly as she watched the half dressed Eloise, in her jumper and no bottoms, pace through the hotel room.

“No, I- Well I’ll admit I rather started panicking after I read the emails and then saw Pen’s texts,” Eloise shrugged slightly and moved back towards Cressida, who had looked back down at Eloise’s phone. When Eloise was close Cressida allowed herself one last lingering look before she pressed the phone into Eloise's hand who gasped, “It’s… Wow.”

“I rather like it,” Cressida mumbled allowing Eloise only a moment before she stole the other woman’s phone back to continue looking at the picture for a second before she started freely clicking through the brunette’s phone, “Is twitter the one where everyone always posts random questions?”

Eloise choked slightly as she tried to grab her phone back, but Cressida was quicker, “What? I mean, I guess?”

“Can I borrow this?” Cressida asked already flicking through Eloise’s phone as she dodged the other woman's attempts to grab the phone back from her.

“I did not say yes!” Eloise tried to grab it back, but it was all too easy for Cressida to hop up on the couch and hold it up above her head.

Cressida quickly went through the steps to make an account, she’d never bothered before, her team managed a few accounts for her, and she’d never concerned herself with it otherwise. As soon as she was logged in the feed was flooded with images of the Bridgerton Heiress and the Cowper Model. Society was having a field day, and for once, Cressida couldn't care less.

She posted one thing before closing the app and tossing the phone to the side.

Cressida Cowper @therealCowper

Can who ever took this reach out? I’d like the original

Linked Image

“Hey!” Eloise huffed as her phone went flying, but Cressida ignored it in favour of wrapping her arms around Eloise and lifting her up.

“Would you be my girlfriend?” Cressida asked, their noses pressed together as she kept them held flush together, and eye to eye. She was tired of waiting, she had to know. They needed a future, and dates be damned. They’d rather skipped a few steps already anyway.

“As in-”

“As in the whole world knows that I am yours, and you are mine, and you come on my arm to my shows, damn what anyone thinks?” Cressida cut her off, she wouldn’t be misunderstood. The chance to have the whole world know she loved Eloise Bridgerton? 14-year-old Cressida would surely kick her in the shins if she did absolutely anything to ruin that for them.

“And as in, you’d come to my book shows and signings? You’d come to conventions even if they're boring and have nothing to do with modelling?” Eloise asked softly, her hands braced against Cressida’s shoulders as her legs wrapped around Cressida’s hips.

“I’ll be at every one I can, maybe even the ones I can’t,” Cressida promised brushing their noses together, “Hell, I’ll model for the cover of every one of your books if I need a reason to be there. You wouldn’t be able to get rid of me if you tried.”

“Do you promise?” Eloise asked, her voice revealing her desperate need that matched Cressida’s. A desperation for the future they’d both longed for, the future they both deserved.

The future only they could promise one another.

“I do,” Cressida whispered without a second thought and Eloise beamed at her.

“I’m going to kiss you now.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Cressida mumbled on autopilot, her eyes already drifting shut as Eloise closed the distance between them and connected their lips together once more.

“Wait!” Cressida pulled back just before she lost herself in the sensations Eloise promised, “You- You didn’t answer.”

“Yes, you bloody idiot!” Eloise shoved her slightly, and Cressida tumbled backwards, they both crashed into the couch, cushioned by the unused bedding Cressida had brought over. Eloise pinned her down and grinned, “You’re my girlfriend.”

“You’re mine,” Cressida shot back, sure she looked like a fool with a smile from ear to ear like some teenaged fool, but she didn’t care.

“You’ve never had a girlfriend before then?” Eloise asked as she pulled up and let her hands dip down under Cressida’s shirt to travel up from her bare hips to just below the swell of her breast.

“N-No, this would be a first for me,” Cressida gasped out as Eloise leaned down, her hair once again curtaining them from the light of the room. The coverage of darkness was going to begin pulling a pavlovian response from Cressida soon.

“Well,” Eloise whispered as she just barely brushed their lips together, before pulling away, forcing Cressida to chase her and ultimately pull just out of reach, “Let me… Officially welcome you to the women, loving, women club.”

Cressida was just about to ask what that meant for her when Eloise connected their lips fully, and one hand cupped her breast, while the other slid between her thighs, “O-ohkay, yeah- I-I don’t mind this welcome.”

Eloise pulled back and brushed their noses together, Cressida could hear her smirk, but her eyes had fallen shut the moment Eloise’s fingers had begun to trace careful patterns over her clit, “I thought you might like it, it's a big step. First girlfriend.”

“Only girlfriend,” Cressida mumbled without thought and Eloise’s fingers twitched against her in a way that had Cressida melting back into the couch.

“Is that so?”

“Mhm.”

“Right answer,” Eloise’s voice was rough and Cressida wanted to be wrapped in it. Her fingers slipped down and Cressida gasped out her encouragement as Eloise slipped inside of her, “Yeah? Is that what you want baby?”

Cressida nodded quickly, “Yes, yes, want you. Need you.” It was the only thing her jumbled mind knew for sure at the moment.

Eloise groaned into her kiss and dipped down to kiss and bite along her neck, “God, Cowper- You’re needier than I thought you’d be- Honestly always thought you had dominatrix vibes.”

Cressida groaned, and her dazed mind forced itself to work, as she wiggled a hand free to lace through Eloise’s curls and yank her head back so they could make eye contact, “A girl can do both- Just make me come, Bridgerton.”

“As you wish,” Eloise whispered with a strangled moan as something in her eye’s flared with satisfaction, and she doubled her efforts. Cressida grinned and tugged slightly at her hair, dragging her down to where Cressida wanted her, she hooked a leg over Eloise’s shoulder and held her in place, “Cress-”

It was the last thing Cressida heard from Eloise, before the other woman dove between her legs, and moved with a ferocity she’d lacked yesterday. Like she hadn’t wanted to rush or ruin their first time, however, right now, she seemed to have no such qualms. She’d hitched Cressida’s hips up to help angle her thrusts while her tongue kept up a punishing pace. Both Cressida’s hands had tangled into Eloise’s hair and her legs had locked around her back, there was no way she was letting Eloise move an inch from her now. Not when a technicolor rainbow was pulsing behind her eyelids as her whole body struggle to know what exactly to do with itself.

At one point her moans just became silent cries to the heavens above as Eloise hooked her fingers, and pressed, as she began to focus her attentions on her clit. Cressida was quite certain she must have died as her hearing filled with a low-pitched ringing and her body arched against the solid force keeping it locked in place. A strangled shout of Eloise’s name was all she’d managed, as a veritable flood of wetness accompanied her release, and Cressida could do nothing, but hold on to Eloise and get lost in the sensations.

Her vision blacked, when she came to there was something warm and wet being gently dragged between her thighs, it felt- Scratchy. She groaned and cracked an eye open, only to find Eloise carefully wiping between her thighs with a warm towel, “Hi,” She whispered, her voice coming out surprisingly hoarse.

Eloise jerked slightly, her face breaking out into perhaps the softest smile that Cressida had ever seen, “Hi, yourself,” She set the towel to the side and moved up Cressida’s body, settling against her. As if there was no question that, that was exactly where she belonged, “How are you feeling? Are you okay? You worried me there for a second.”

“I did?” Cressida asked, only half listening as she curled around Eloise and slipped her hands beneath the jumper to ensure they were pulled flush together once more.

“Yes, well, it's been about three minutes since you blacked out after soaking me, the couch, and yourself,” Eloise whispered, it sounded as if she was trying to jest, but Cressida could hear the pride lacing every word.

“Mhm, I’m pretty sure I died, but when I met god- She just gave me a high five and sent me back,” Cressida felt drunk honestly, her limbs buzzed pleasantly, and her body felt heavy and sated, “She’s a lesbian by the way. Told me to tell you, keep up the good work.”

Eloise cackled and pressed a smiling kiss, that felt like mostly teeth, to her cheek, “Happy to do it, anything for you- And Lesbian God of course”

Maybe it was the fact that she felt drunk, maybe it was the fact that her hands were pressed into Eloise’s skin, but she blurted out, “Be my date on Friday to a party?”

“Oh- Well, I have the convention after party,” Eloise whispered as she rested her head against Cressida’s shoulder, “When is it?”

“Well, it starts at 10pm and ends kind of…” Cressida honestly hadn’t left one before the sun came back up in years, “Well, never, if you consider the various after parties, for the after party then usually we’d all end up at someone's suite to end the night.”

“Ah- well, clean up begins at 9:30 at mine,” Eloise laughed as she hid her face in Cressida’s hair, “Would I be too lame for your friends?” “No! Er- Well, they wouldn’t say it to your face,” Cressida amended sheepishly and Eloise slapped at her hand.

“That doesn’t help!” Eloise admonished, her hands remaining where they were over Cressida’s after she hit, “Uhm, yes. I can go. I can meet you somewhere after?”

“Oh- Well. My last walk is at 4pm. I think I wrap at 5-” Cressida took a deep breath, be bold Cowper, be bold, “If you wanted, but I totally get if you don’t! I could meet you there?”

“You want to come to my event? With me? To my event? Where I am?” Eloise sounded a little bit like a broken record, and she pushed up, one arm branched on Cressida’s shoulder as she looked down at her, “As a date-type-thing-situation?”

“Yes, I would like to come to your event, with you, to your event,” Cressida reached up and cupped Eloise’s cheek as she confirmed, “Where you are- As a date-type-thing-situation.”

“You’re sure?” Eloise breathed the words out softly, leaning into Cressida’s hand.

“Someone already did the hard part for us… Sure, in some ways it really sucks, but in others. Why not take it as the gift it is?” Cressida leaned up and pressed a kiss to Eloise's nose before dropping back, “If you’re all in… I am too.”

Eloise grinned and dropped onto her, “Oh, trust me,” She kissed along Cressida’s jaw, and she had to hold back her groan, “I am- All in.”

Her hips rolled into Cressida’s, and her eye’s rolled back into her head, “You know we have to stop doing this,” She needed to call her agent, Eloise surely had things to do- They definitely needed to eat.

“No- Don’t say that,” Eloise whispered brushing their lips together once more, “We have time- There’s definitely time.” Cressida tried to find a reason to argue, but there was no reason that held enough stock to refute Eloise’s excellent point.

Cressida flipped them and got lost in Eloise for longer than she’d care to admit.

They ended up ordering room service again, and again, and again.

Cressida checked her phon elater that night to find a direct message from the fashion fan who’d snagged that photo, giving her a gift she would never forget.

~

Present Day, September 6th, 2013 - Metropolitan Convention Centre

Cressida smoothed down the hip of the fifth dress she’d put on as she climbed the steps to Eloise. It had been over twenty-four hours since they had seen once another, and she was desperate to see the irritating Bridgerton. Text’s and calls had done nothing to quell the ache she’d felt from the moment Eloise disappeared in the lift, so they could both catch up on the near 29 hours, that the both of them had essentially fallen off of the planet for as they…

Caught up.

On a lot.

Cressida’s cheeks flamed as her mind relayed a few of the ways that they had ‘caught’ up, Eloise bent over the hotel desk, Cressida on her knees in the shower, Eloise pinning her to the wall and teasing her; until she’d flipped them over, and made Eloise beg to find her release.

They’d done so much more than that though, they'd talked, Cressida about everything she’d gone through, Eloise about some of the updates not featured in The Daily Mail. They’d joked and played, and Eloise had teased her as they tried to do her daily cross word together- It wasn’t her fault how was she supposed to know ‘Six letters across, dopamine release, was- Orgasm.

Eloise had teased her relentlessly the moment her cheeks had flamed red, when she’d been given the answer. Eloise had not needed her help, she’d only sought to tease her.

Cressida had gotten her back easily enough.

As she approached the doors, a smartly dressed young man in a tweed suit rushed to pull it open for her, she gave him a gracious smile, and he wobbled where he stood. His eyes followed her curve of her dress, entirely black silk and backless, with a half-moon cutout on her side as she walked. It was unfortunately the most, refined, socially-acceptable cocktail dress that she had for this trip.

She assumed her typical high fashion fare would not work for those who would attend a writer's conference.

She didn’t spare any time for the eyes that followed her and the whispers that speculated if she had ended up in the wrong location as she walked through the crowded floor. Cressida scanned the open concept room, that had been taken down from the conference and now had tables and seats laid out with various food and drink. She finally found Eloise in the back corner, surrounded by a few men, and she looked rather frustrated, not that any of her conversational companions seemed to notice. Cressida weaved through the room, eyes only for Eloise, who hadn’t yet noticed her arrival. The man beside her, caught sight of Cressida’s approach, before Eloise had.

Cressida was able to catch a piece of the conversation as, “Anyway- It’s not that historical and romantic pieces don’t have their place in writing, it’s just that…” He trailed off to stare at her arrival in a confused sort of wonder, “Sorry- Did you need help?”

Eloise had turned at that, and Cressida preened as the brunette’s eyes swept over her, “Oh, yes,” Cressida responded stepping forward as she tugged Eloise into her side and wrapped an arm around her shoulder, “I’d love introductions. It’s so cool to see men succeeding in women’s fields.” A choked sound pulled free from Eloise and Cressida punched her side slightly as the men confused stepped around her jape and introduced themselves, “Wonderful to meet you all I’m sure. Do you have any New York Times bestsellers I’d know of?”

“Cressida!” Eloise hissed at her as the men shifted uncomfortably, she hadn’t exactly known if any of them wouldn’t, but it was an educated guess.

The men continued on and listed a few of their various works, Cressida turned ignoring their words; as she lifted Eloise’s chin and pressed their lips carefully together. She didn’t want to smear either of their lipsticks, “Hello, Darling. I missed you.”

Eloise sighed as their lips connected, and Cressida felt the tension melt the rest of the way from her body, “I missed you too, and thank you- Even if that could have been handled better.”

Cressida winked at her and brought a hand up to gently tuck a stray, strand of hair back behind her ear, “Just eager to do my job is all. I am your biggest fan after all.”

“Oh are you?” Eloise asked, the rest of the room dangerously faded from her thoughts, as her partner's eyes darkened.

Cressida felt as if she’d been tossed back in time to the peak of her hormonal teenage years, all Eloise had to do was look at her, and she was ready to jump her bones. Of course, it had only been a few days, and she’s sure things will change- But for now she wanted to make up for all their lost time.

“Most definitely,” Cressida whispered as she pressed a gentle kiss to Eloise’s chin and moved to whisper in her ear, “When I take you back to my hotel- I’ll show you exactly how much of a fan I am. Everyone in here wants to know what I’m here for, they won’t have questions when I am on my knees for you.”

Eloise nearly dropped to her knees, Cressida had to tighten her arms around Eloise and lift her back up. Eloise whined, “When can we go back then?”

“Whenever you want, I’m here for you, El,” Cressida whispered and Eloise swore under her breath before she pulled back to look around. Cressida followed her line of sight and caught the men staring at Eloise with a measure of respect that made Cressida roll her eyes.

“Walk the room with me first?” Eloise asked her voice strained as she held tightly to Cressida, “I want you to meet everyone, I don’t think most of them believed me when I said an international supermodel was going to drop by to see me.”

Cressida laughed and rolled her eyes, “I don’t think I’m classified as a supermodel.”

“Basically! Anyway, one quick loop and we’ll go.”

They ended up staying for four and a half hours, closing down the conference mixer, and Cressida had an amazing time. She’d had so much more fun there, than she had at any of her past after-event parties. Several of Eloise’s writer friends had even been present, and she’d had a wonderful time finding out all the Eloise stories she’d missed out over the years. Plus, Eloise came to life as she talked with her colleagues. There were spirited debates that Cressida got lost in, but she was more than happy to watch the way Eloise shined through it all.

They’d ended up foregoing Cressida’s after-party, drunk elitists weren’t really Eloise’s scene anyway, and all Cressida had really wanted was to spend time with Eloise. So they went along with a group to a pub by a university that one of them had gone to years ago, Cressida had ended up beating them all at darts. When she’d finished crushing one of the men who’d made a snide remark to Eloise, the Bridgerton had pulled her into the bathroom. They’d ended up drunkenly making out until Eloise had announced that they needed to go because she would not be caught in a bar bathroom this time.

Cressida had been dazed, and just more than willing to go along with whatever Eloise wanted.

By the time they’d fallen in her bed, safely back at her hotel. They fell asleep before their heads had even hit the pillow, wrapped up in one another- Naked in Manhattan.

~

Twenty Years in the Future, September 3rd, 2033 - Cowper-Bridgerton Estate

“Eloise Cowper-Bridgerton! I swear if I find out you’ve broken anything!!” Cressida shouted down the hall as a loud bang rang up to her, for the third time in the last few minutes no less.

An hour ago her wife had ushered her off to her office and demanded she wait until called.

Unsurprisingly, she was having a rather hard time with that.

Cressida wasn’t patient normally, so when she was hearing crashes coming from her recently renovated living room, it was no surprise it was giving her heart palpitations.

They’d been together for twenty years today, and Eloise had sworn that this time, she’d out done anything Cressida had ever given her on their anniversary for every year past- Combined. Which was a wildly bold claim, Cressida went all out every year- Every year except this one.

Eloise had come to her at the start of the year and made her swear to do nothing at all for their anniversary- Not even get Eloise a gift.

She had to leave it all to Eloise.

All Cressida had seen all year were large withdrawals from their savings account, and Eloise asking increasingly strange questions, while taking increasingly weirder calls. She’d even heard their eldest son say something about reptiles on a phone call. She’d pulled Frederick to the side and demanded that if there was anything involving reptiles on her anniversary she would ensure his wedding day was filled with nothing, but the most embarrassing photos from his childhood.

He had simply laughed loudly and winked at her before holding his hands up in pacification and walking away. Eloise had turned all of their children against her, not one of them would tell her what her wife had planned for their day.

Well- They wouldn’t tell her the rest of what she had already figured out.

“Quit listening, nosey!” Her wife’s voice echoed back to her and Cressida slammed her door shut as she dropped down at her desk. She was supposed to be finishing a few things for work, she’d started her own agency a few years ago and there was apparently a hiccup with one of her studio partners- She just couldn’t focus on that, while Eloise potentially wrecked her nicely put together sitting room.

She fired off a few emails and then heard a drill of all things whir on, and that was it. She couldn’t sit idly by any more, she flew out of her office- Ready to end this once and for all, only to be met with her wife- Ready and waiting, already blocking her way.

“Ah- Ah- Ah,” Eloise grinned at her, she knew her too damned well, “Can’t you trust me?”

Cressida cut her eyes past Eloise and towards the stairwell, “What are you doing to my house?”

“Our house I’ll have you know, and you don’t have to know everything,” Eloise whispered as she moved forward and slowly pressed Cressida back into her office, “I told you, if you’re good, you’ll get a reward. Don’t you want that?”

Cressida scowled at her, “I think you know that works a little better with you, darling.”

“What if I told you, your reward was me?” Eloise asked a rush of breath slipping out as Cressida tightened her grip on Eloise and tilted her head up to ghost their lips together.

“Could I not have that anyway?” Cressida held Eloise back slightly and enjoyed the soft whine that escaped her wife. Twenty years and she still couldn’t get enough- Over thirty, and everyday she loved her more than the last.

“You could, but you would be missing out on everything I have planned for you and your gift,” Eloise pushed Cressida backwards and backed her into her desk chair, “If you would just be patient, you can have it all. Plus… I worked hard, don’t you care about that?”

Eloise was actually pouting at her now.

Cressida lost all the wind in her sails and she deflated back into her seat, who really cares about the sitting room? Eloise could smash everything in it. As long as it made her happy, “I know you did my love, and I can’t wait to see it,” Eloise beamed at her and Cressida pressed their cheeks together, a habit developed from their first ‘I love you’, “I’ll be good now, I swear it.”

Eloise slipped her hand up between them and held her pinky out, “I need more than that. Pinky swear it.”

She rolled her eyes but brought her hand up and laced their pinkies together, “The stakes?”

“Whoever breaks it tells Violet they broke the Christmas platter,” Cressida’s jaw dropped as Eloise spoke.

They’d promised to take that to the grave, it had been Halloween, and they'd been struggling to find alone time at their home, what with two toddlers, and a newborn. Everyone else had been occupied with the kids, so Eloise had dragged Cressida to the storage closet, and the way she’d made Cressida scream, had nothing to do with fear. At least not until they’d knocked a box from the shelf and discovered the broken staple holiday plate…

“You really mean it, huh? Okay I pinky promise, I will be on my best behaviour, and I won’t open my door till you come get me,” Cressida vowed as she pressed her lips to their pinkies before pushing Eloise back towards the door with a slap to her bum, “Now go on, hurry up I want to see what on earth takes all of this.”

“There’s my perfect wife,” Eloise said proudly, and Cressida as she always did, shivered at the praise, “I’ll be back- Soon.”

Eloise disappeared out the door, and with the threat of the Christmas platter on the table, she turned; and actually got to work. At least it would kill the time, and solve the problem with the studio, as long as she tuned out the hammering sounds that were now coming faintly from the other side of her door.

She trusted Eloise, she really did.

She just had mixed feelings about surprises.

It took another two hours for Eloise to finally softly knock on the door and slip it open, “Hi, pretty lady, have any plans? Or do you fancy taking a walk with me?”

Cressida turned, a smile already on her face at the sound of her wife’s voice at last, “For you? I’ve got nothing, but time.”

“Smooth talker,” Eloise teased as her cheeks heated under Cressida’s heavy gaze. It was her own fault, she was dressed in the deep blue lingerie she’d worn on their wedding night, and only that, she’d worn it every anniversary since.

“I’d say something about what you have that’s smooth, but I’m afraid it would be rather untoward,” Cressida stood and pulled Eloise into her as she kissed along her wife’s bare shoulder, “And did I hear that our last child left for the night? Is that my surprise? A night alone?”

“Always with the guessing. What if you just let me do something special for you for once?” Eloise pushed her back slightly and looped her fingers through Cressida’s belt loops, “Come on, if you wait at the top of the stairs- I’ll call you down.”

Cressida nodded and allowed herself to be tugged along before she got the exclusive pleasure of watching her bride walk down the stairs away from her, “Don’t be long, darling. I’m eager to actually spend some of our anniversary together- For more than a few minutes.”

“I am all yours, however you want! For the rest of the weekend,” Eloise shouted up after her and Cressida grinned to herself. The rest of the weekend without kids? Even though they’d all grown up, none of them had yet actually fully left the nest. Not that either of them were complaining, but it did make it hard to enjoy private time together. There were only a few moments more of silence before Eloise cried out, “Okay! Come down now, but just look at your feet! Swear it! Don’t look up until I tell you too.”

“Okay! Okay! I swear it,” Cressida called out laughing as she watched her feet and climbed down the steps of their family home, “This is an awful lot of secrecy- and it was an awful lot of cash withdrawals.”

“I told you not to look at the bank statements!” Eloise cried out, now only a few feet away from her, “You really do always have to ruin all the fun. I’m surprised I managed to actually keep this a secret.”

“I- Yeah. Sorry- I’ll be good, I’m excited!” Cressida reached out in the direction of Eloise’s voice and smirked when she heard the pad of Eloise’s bare feet on the tile until their hands laced together, “Can I look now?”

“Yes- Just, well- You have to love it, because. Well. You saw how much it cost,” Eloise squeezed her hand, “Look up- Straight ahead.”

Cressida lifted her head up and gasped.

When she’d been redoing their sitting room, Eloise had been ridiculously insistent on the size of this stupid wall that faced their entryway. She’d wanted it large so it could fit this stupidly enormous painting of three ugly cat heads that Cressida had been convinced Eloise only wanted to include to spite her. In the end Eloise had taken her out, they’d gotten massages, gone to dinner, and then went dancing together, then right as their evening ended tangled in their sheets- Cressida had agreed to account for the stupid panting.

It had been under extreme, but enjoyable, duress.

If she had known… She wouldn’t have fought it in the slightest. Even though it meant that she’d spent 13 months living with the ugliest painting she’d ever seen. Every single one of their guests for months had seen that so now… They could see this.

There was an ornate oak frame that now lined the entirety of the wall, it paired perfectly with their wall colour, with a stretched canvas pulled across it. No wonder it had taken so much time, and effort to get it secured to the wall, it would have needed at least four people to carry it. It was no print either, she could see the depth of the paint rising off of the canvas, no wonder it had cost so much.

Eloise had been right, it was entirely worth it, Cressida might have paid more.

It was an oil painting of their first kiss, as captured all those years ago, only it had been done in the exact way Cressida had always reimagined it in her mind. Without the blur of the old camera, the hint of a finger in the left corner, or the overflowing cans of rubbish just behind them-

The two of them were centred below the branches of the twin oak trees, surrounded by the vibrant reds of the fall leaves, their arms wrapped around each other. Eloise still propped up on her tiptoes just as she always had to. Their joy from that moment, and every once since, somehow felt palpable through the painting itself.

“Oh, Eloise,” Cressida had her hands cupped over her mouth as she looked over every little detail- just as she did twenty years ago, “It’s-”

“You like it?”

“Like it. Eloise? I love it,” Cressida reached a hand out just to hover over it, before she traced her fingers along the smooth wood. She just had to make sure it was real, “This is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen-” Tears flowed freely down her cheeks as she took it in, “You arse, those bloody stupid cats!”

Eloise gave her a watery laugh and pressed in close, “Sorry, it was the only thing I could find that would make you keep the wall the size I needed.”

“How can I be mad? How can I be anything, but elated?” Cressida whispered as she pulled Eloise entirely flush to her front, and she connected their lips, a mirror image of the painting now hanging in their sitting room.

“Good,” Eloise murmured into her lips, interrupting their kiss as she explained, “It’s Fredrick’s friend's mum who did it… In order to get the connection I did… Promise him he could finally get a snake,” Cressida twitched, and ripped back from Eloise who just tugged her back to brush their lips together again, “Shh, baby, don’t think about that. Think about this empty house, our neglected mum and mummy drawer, and all the things I’ll let you do to me. Definitely don’t think about the fact that I also promised Penelope and Georgina that they could have a party the next time we are out of town to keep the secret.”

A strangled noose ripped from her throat, “Then we will just not be going anywhere!”

Eloise gave her a sheepish smile, “Well- That won’t exactly work considering our flight leaves tomorrow afternoon and I have a very specific room, booked in a very specific hotel, in New York City.”

“I-I, what about work?” Cressida replied as she tried to put forth her air of a woman buried under a pile of work- Which, really she was. She just had happened to be able to trace this piece of their plans down through bank statements and google searches.

“I already talked to everyone at the agency- They are covering for you,” Eloise murmured as she smoothed over Cressida’s collar and trailed her lips along her neck, “Don’t you want to go, hm? Have a repeat of our first time in Manhattan together? Your first time ever?”

Cressida’s hands tightened around her wife and the smirk that filled Eloise’s face told her that her wife already knew she won, “You just want to make sure I remember that you were my first, and only girlfriend.”

Eloise snorted as she laughed loudly, and propped herself up to kiss her nose, “That certainly doesn’t hurt.”

“So you know, I never forget. But, I suppose we could go… It might honestly be a good idea,” Cressida mumbled as she pretended to weigh the pros and cons, “Especially, considering that I just happen to have two of these passes, with exclusive archival access and a guided expert tour; that I got for the Natural History Museum. I looked yesterday, and it must just be a weird coincidence, because they are only valid for the next week…”

Eloise’s jaw dropped and Cressida watched the elation travel over her face at the thought of all of that untapped knowledge that was now just waiting for her across the Atlantic. That was before her brilliant mind set itself to resolving the minor hiccup that did happen to come with that information.

“Wait! No!! You knew?!” Eloise cried out as she pushed back from Cressida, and stomped her foot in a shockingly adorable manner, for someone dressed only in blue lace, “I thought I’d actually surprised you!”

“Shh, baby, it’s okay,” Cressida parroted back to Eloise as she reached out to tug her wife back into her arms, “Don’t think about that. Just think about you, think about me- All of that history just waiting for you to look over ever organized bit of it- and most importantly of all- Us, together-”

Finally, after dodging her attempts to close their distance, Eloise allowed herself to be spun back into Cressida’s arms. Once she held her wife close, she swayed them together, so she could whisper her last truly unbreakable argument, into Eloise’s ear.

“Naked in Manhattan.”