Work Text:
The end of a live performance always felt like hitting a wall. The kind you see coming from miles but still can’t stop in time. One second, you're in motion, lights in your eyes, your voice wrapped around the melody like flames curling over dry wood. The next, silence.
But this time, it wasn't the silence that messed Phainon up. It was Mydei.
a hundred nights in many different cities, thunderous music, too many drinks, and one unforgettable mistake, all spent with him.
That night. He should've left the hotel bar earlier. He should've gone back to his room. He should've not said yes when he asked if he wanted to split a bottle. Mydei and Phainon, guitarist and singer. They both had been best friends since high school, bandmates for the last four years. Everyone could tell that they had something going between them, something unspoken. Neither ever dared to touch it, not until that night.
Mydei acted like it had never happened. Professional. Cold. Focused. He always knew how and when to keep his act. Phainon? not so much. He had always been an expressive person, wearing his heart on his sleeves.
At some point, during rehearsal, Phainon noticed Mydei glancing at him out of the corner of his eye. Every time their eyes met, both of them quickly looked away, hearts pounding. It was strange— comfortable, but not quite right. A silence hung between them, one that neither dared to break.
When it was time to take a break, Phainon moved to grab a bottle of water, but Mydei reached for it at the same time. Their fingers brushed, and Phainon froze, his pulse skipping a beat. Mydei yanked his hand back, face flushing as he mumbled an apology. "I— I didn't mean to..." he trailed off, looking anywhere but Phainon. Phainon cleared his throat, avoiding the heat in his own cheeks. "No problem," he muttered, his voice sounding too loud in the sudden awkwardness. The air between them felt charged, heavy with something unspoken that neither could bring themselves to address.
Finally, Mydei glanced up, but his eyes were guarded, distant. He cleared his throat, his voice quiet. "I, uh... I think I’ll get some air." His words were quick, almost as if he needed to escape the moment, the tension, as if the space between them was suddenly too tight for him to breathe.
Phainon nodded, not trusting himself to speak again. Mydei turned and walked out of the room without another word, the door clicking softly behind him. The silence left behind felt deafening, like the weight of everything that neither of them had been brave enough to say was pressing down on him all at once.
Phainon sat back down, looking down on the floor. He couldn’t focus on anything but the touch of Mydei’s hand against his, the way his pulse had reacted. He could feel the burn of his cheeks again, the echo of the awkwardness still sharp in the air.
And now, more than ever, he wasn’t sure how to fix it.
A few weeks left before the tour ended. Phainon looked towards the window in his room, the night sky was littered with shining stars.
They shined brightly, gleaming with brilliance. just like Mydei.
He hated it.
He hated how everything reminded him of Mydei.
He tried his best to recall the events of that night, but his memory remained hazy, clouded by the alcohol that had blurred everything. All he could remember was Mydei's touch. It was tender, caring even, the feeling making him weak. Hell— even thinking about it made him feel weak.
The aftermath was all that remained, its imprint strong, while everything else faded into a blur. Mydei laying on his chest— it was etched in his memory. He still remembers, he was scared to take a breath, and didn't wanna move Mydei's head. He just wanted to embrace the warmth he felt.
Where exactly did it go wrong?
He kicked the covers off, looking up at the ceiling. He wonders if Mydei was looking down at him right now.
He quickly got up before the next thought could reach him.
He stepped up to the window and stared out at the stars, lost in thought. His mind kept circling back to Mydei. He thought about the way Mydei acted around him, he could tell by Mydei's eyes— the devil in it won't deny the lies. Mydei had always been serious about his career in music, he won't allow such a silly mistake ruin it, Phainon thought. Mydei's sold, he's holding on too tight. It was tiring. Was there even a chance to save what they had? He was trying his best— while Mydei was letting go. Was this all just casual?
He won't get any sleep tonight.
Earlier that week, when his mood had dipped far enough for even the other members to notice, it was Cipher, the band’s drummer, who pulled him aside. She didn’t ask what was wrong. She just sat with him in the green room, tossing him a half-eaten protein bar. “You look like a kicked puppy. Talk, or don’t. I'll still be here.”
“I'm fine, Cipher. Just tired.” Phainon said. a lie stitched to a truth. Exhaustion from the stage was believable, and safer than the real answer.
“Very convincing, Snowy. I'm sure you avoiding prince pretend bird like the plague and surprisingly not mentioning that inconspicuous body of his—”
“Okay, stop.” Phainon interrupted before Cipher could say anything else. “Comforting me now, Cipher? That's new. What's the price this time? Or did Aglaea bribe you with something?” he forced a chuckle, pouring everything he had into keeping his smile from slipping.
“Seeing you act like a kicked puppy.” she responded with a smug.
Phainon frowned at her, his efforts in vain.
“.. sheesh, okay, sorry. But no, she didn't. I'm here because I'm worried about you. Actually— so is Aglaea, princess homebody, and pinkie pie.” Cipher said sternly. Phainon scanned her face, looking for any hint of deceit. Nothing.
Phainon didn't say much. Just stared at the floor and muttered, “I messed up.”
Cipher sighed, leaning back against the wall, stretching her legs out in front of him. “You always mess up. But you also care. That counts for something.”
He looked at her then, eyes a little glassy. “What if I lose him?”
“Then lose him trying. Don’t let fear be the reason you stay stuck. The chance to fix things won’t always be there.”
It stuck with him. Haunted him. It echoed now, louder than the silence Mydei left behind.
Recalling back those words, it all snapped.
He started making his way to Mydei's hotel room. A part of him felt like he was walking on autopilot, as if his body had made the decision before his mind could catch up. but he knew it had to be done. He didn't want to lose Mydei.
God, he didn't want to lose Mydei.
When he reached Mydei's room, he hesitated, but.. he soon realized hesitation will only make things worse. Opportunity doesn't come on its own you know?
He knocked once. No reply. A second time. Still the same. The third time. Nothing changed. He pulled a key out from his pocket.
He thought about Cipher, the only reason he got this opportunity was not only because of her words, she had somehow managed to get her hands on Mydei’s room key, and slipped it to him. How she pulled it off, he had no idea. He wasn't surprised though, this was Cipher after all. Maybe he should thank her later.
He peeked through the door, the room was empty. Looked like Mydei was out, not that he cared. He slipped inside and decided to wait.
Phainon sat on the bed of the hotel room, head in his hands, chewing on guilt and regret. He had no idea how to face the situation. It hit him like a song stuck between verses— unresolved, uneasy, and echoing too loud in the quiet. but.. the opportunity to approach it won't always be there.
And he couldn't bear the idea of losing Mydei
Mydei walked in, still in his stage outfit. “Phainon..?” he called out. No response.
“You gonna talk to me?” he asked, leaning against the door.
Phainon didn't look up. “What is there to say?” He immediately regretted saying that— he wasn't thinking clearly, he couldn't.
“I don't know. Maybe ‘let's talk’, or ‘let's pretend it never happened’, pick your poison.”
Finally, Phainon looked at him, eyes tired with eyebags. Had he been using makeup to cover those?
“I'm sorry.”
“What?”
“I'm sorry,” he repeated, voice cracking. “I.. I was too drunk to remember what exactly happened, but I know it happened, and I'm so so terribly sorry— I should've approached you sooner too,” he finally let out, setting all his emotions free. “Yet I never did. I got scared when you started being silent with me— avoiding me, and I don't blame you at all. I won't blame you if you chose not to forgive me either. You must be disgusted or something, i just wanted to say i'm truly sor—”
“Are you done yet?”
“What?”
Mydei walked to the bed, dropping beside him like gravity hit him all once. “Stop apologizing already.” He said. There was no such thing as the word fear in his dictionary, but the tremble in his hands and voice betrayed what his mind refused to admit.
“I wasn't avoiding you because I was disgusted or anything, I was avoiding you because I thought you were disgusted.” He shyly admitted. Phainon looked at him with a dumbfounded expression. “What's with that face? I drunkenly made out with my own best friend. Can you really blame me for thinking like that?”
“No— not at all! But then, I guess you can't blame me either.” Phainon said. “Never said I did.” Mydei retorted.
“In fact, I don't mind if we do it again.” Mydei relented. It took him so long to say something like that, years even.
“Wait— what?” Phainon looked back at him, as if he was trying to make sure he wasn't hearing things.
Mydei looked at him like he was seeing something sacred, and with a breath that shook just a little, he finally confessed.
“I'm saying I like you, Phainon.” he finally let the words set free, letting the truth fall from his lips. His gaze was soft as he waited for a response, but beneath it, fear flickered— like he wasn’t sure if the truth would bring him closer or push him away.
“I.. I like you too, Mydeimos!” Phainon responded back, a bit too quickly for his liking, but he had waited quietly, stubbornly, for this moment to arrive. He couldn't wait much longer.
“So what are we?” Mydei asked, inching closer to Phainon.
“.. feelers?”
Mydei looked at him deadpan, stopping in his tracks. “Way to ruin the moment.”
But secretly, Mydei was relieved. Still the same old Phainon he knows, the same one he’d completely fallen for, long before either of them dared to say it out loud.
“.. oopsies. Sorry.” Phainon said, with an awkward but genuine smile.
Phainon reached out and took Mydei’s trembling hands. It wasn’t until then that Mydei even noticed they were shaking. But the warmth of Phainon’s touch slowly steadied him, easing the tremors bit by bit. They stayed like that for a while, neither speaking, just holding on.
Suddenly, Mydei slid his hands away from Phainon, only to seize him by the waist and tug him closer. He didn’t stop until their noses brushed, breath mingling in the charged space between them.
Phainon froze, heart pounding against his ribs so violently it hurt. He could feel Mydei’s hands trembling slightly where they clutched him, could see the uncertainty flickering in his dark eyes, like a fire fighting against a storm.
Neither of them spoke. The silence crackled, heavy with everything they had never dared to say.
Slowly, carefully, Mydei tilted his head, brushing his lips against Phainon’s in the lightest, most fleeting touch— like he was giving Phainon a chance to pull away. But Phainon didn’t move. He leaned into it, closing the gap between them with a soft, shuddering sigh that tasted like surrender.
The kiss started tentative, almost questioning, a careful brush of lips that trembled with years of held back emotions. Phainon’s hands found Mydei’s shoulders, clinging like he was afraid to let go again.
But it didn’t stay soft for long.
The dam broke— Mydei deepened the kiss, a hand sliding up Phainon’s back to pull him even closer, until there was no room left between them. Phainon responded with a soft, desperate sound caught in the back of his throat, fingers curling into the fabric of Mydei’s shirt like he could anchor himself there.
It was messy. Breathless. The kind of kiss that tastes like regret and hope all tangled into one.. Their teeth clicked awkwardly at first, noses bumping again, but neither cared. It wasn’t about perfection. It was about need.
Phainon opened his mouth under the pressure of Mydei’s lips, and Mydei took it as permission, sliding his tongue against Phainon’s in a kiss that was devastatingly intimate. Phainon moaned into him, pressing forward until their chests were flush, until he could feel the frantic rhythm of Mydei’s heart hammering against his own.
They kissed like they had been starving for it, like years of restraint and longing were finally snapping loose inside them. Mydei’s hands roamed up Phainon’s back, feeling every line, every shiver, memorizing the reality of him. Phainon clutched at Mydei’s shirt like a man drowning, like if he let go for even a second, it would all vanish.
When they finally parted for air, both of them were panting, lips red and swollen, eyes glassy with emotion. Phainon rested his forehead against Mydei’s, his hands still fisted in the fabric of his shirt, as if he couldn’t bear to put even an inch of distance between them.
For a long moment, they just breathed together, tangled up in each other, hearts beating out a frantic, shared rhythm.
Phainon gave a shaky, breathless laugh.
“So much for feelers,” he whispered, voice raw.
Mydei huffed out a sound that was almost a laugh but not quite— too full of relief, too full of awe. His hands framed Phainon’s face now, thumbs brushing tenderly across his flushed cheeks.
“You’re such an idiot,” he murmured, but the words were weighted with affection, with something dangerously close to devotion.
He leaned in again, kissing Phainon softer this time, slow and deep, taking his time, like he had all the time in the world now. Like there was no rush anymore, no fear. Just them.
Phainon melted into it, letting himself fall, letting himself realize that this was real. That he wasn’t dreaming, that Mydei wasn’t going to disappear when morning came.
When they broke apart again, Mydei didn’t pull away. He pressed another kiss to Phainon’s forehead, then the bridge of his nose, then his cheek, like he was memorizing every part of him one kiss at a time.
“I’m not letting you go,” Mydei whispered against his skin, voice rough. “Not now. Not ever.”
Phainon closed his eyes, feeling his heart swell so painfully he thought it might burst.
“Good,” he whispered back, voice breaking. “Because I’m not letting you go either.”
They stayed like that for a while, tangled in each other, the whole world outside that room fading away until it was nothing but the two of them— broken, imperfect, terrified— but finally, finally brave enough to love.
The silence that filled the room was different this time. It wasn't suffocating or awkward like before. It was soothing, almost peaceful, like the quiet after a storm. It hung in the air, gentle and unhurried, wrapping around them in a soft embrace. Neither of them rushed to break it. It lingered, comfortable in its stillness, until Phainon’s voice broke the calm.
“Do you think the other members would get angry if we add another song?” Phainon asked, his voice light.
“Mydei shrugged, a small smile tugging at his lips. “We’ve pulled it off before. I doubt they’ll care. But we should probably still ask.”
Phainon grinned. “Nah. I think they’ll be fine with it.”
And he was right. When they brought it up, the other members didn’t just agree— they looked genuinely relieved. Everyone had noticed the tension between Phainon and Mydei over the past few weeks, and seeing them on good terms again was enough to win their full support.
What none of them expected, though, was that the "extra" song wouldn’t just be another setlist filler. It would be something new— raw, powerful, and impossibly personal.
A song about them. About everything they'd been through. The fear, the distance, the crash, and the fragile, stubborn love that survived it all.
It was fitting. It was more than fitting. It was perfect.
As they sang it for the first time on stage, their eyes found each other across the lights, locking in a gaze that said everything words couldn’t. Love, regret, hope— years’ worth of feelings spilling out in every note.
Neither of them needed to say a word. It was all right there, written into the music, stitched into the melody, beating loud between them.
It was theirs. And it was perfect.
When the final chord rang out, the crowd erupted, but for a moment, it all blurred into the background. The only thing that mattered was the look on Mydei’s face— wide open, unguarded, shining with everything he felt but had never been able to say before. Phainon smiled, breathless and aching in the best way, as Mydei reached out, just briefly, brushing their fingers together in a touch too subtle for the audience to catch but heavy enough to anchor them both.
From that night on, the silence between them never returned. Only music. Only laughter. Only the quiet, steady thrum of a love that had once been too big for words but now lived in every note they played, every glance they shared, every step they took forward— together.
And for the first time in a long time, Phainon wasn't afraid of what came next.
He was ready for it.
With Mydei.
Always.