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Lora had been dating her boyfriend for a few months now. Everyone said how he was so handsome, smart, worked in IT, did everything for Lora. But it still didn’t feel right. Lora didn’t know what was wrong—she liked Jake. She loved him. She appreciated how he made her breakfast early in the morning, tried to buy her everything she wanted. It seemed like he was the perfect boyfriend that she deserved. But every time she held his hand, kissed him, or did something more, it was like she was pretending or acting.
One day, Lora decided to go out with her friends Kate and Olivia to the bar. She thought it was the perfect opportunity to relax and maybe get drunk.
Meeting her girlfriends near the bar, they hugged, and one of them asked, “So, how’s you and Jake?” Olivia said with a sly smile.
“I don’t know. It’s okay,” Lora shrugged her shoulders, opening the door.
“Just ‘okay’?” Kate asked, furrowing her brows. “C’mon, give us some tea!” She smiled.
“There’s really not much to tell. He’s sweet, that’s it,” Lora answered, sitting at a bar chair.
“I mean, he’s like mister-perfect-boyfriend!” Olivia said, putting her hands in quotation marks and shaking her head.
“I guess?” Lora said in confusion.
“You guess? Oh my god, you’re unbelievable, Lora!” Kate said, at which Lora just smiled.
“Oh my god, look, there are such cute guys over there!” She looked at the guys behind Lora. “Me and Olivia are going to go and talk to them. You stay here, maybe find someone to talk to as well!” Kate said, grabbing Olivia by the shoulder and leading her away.
Lora just rolled her eyes and ordered herself a drink. She figured it would be this way, as she was the only one with a boyfriend in the trio. So, she just ordered herself a drink and sat at the bar, watching people perform.
Suddenly, there was a change of performer. It was a band, as Lora figured out. She noticed a woman with dirty blonde hair, wearing a leather jacket and black jeans. She went up to the microphone and said, “Hi, uhm… we’re Dead Sara, and this song is called ‘Lemon Scent.’”
The song started, and suddenly the crowd got quieter. Now it was like Lora could see and hear only Emily. The way she moved on stage. The way she flipped her hair when it got in her face. And her incredible voice… it was like she was a pirate being hypnotized by a siren. Something about her was so mesmerizing.
After they were done with their set, the singer whose eyes had captured Lora sat at the bar a few chairs away from her. Lora decided to change seats to sit next to her.
“You were amazing up there,” she said.
“Thank you,” the singer smiled. “You want a drink? My treat,” she added.
“I mean—yeah, sure.”
The woman ordered Lora the drink she had asked for and turned back.
“I’m Emily,” she extended her hand.
“Lora,” the girl said, shaking her hand.
“You’re really pretty, Lora,” Emily winked and, noticing the drinks were ready, added, “Oh hey, here’s your drink.”
“Thanks,” Lora said, taking a sip and looking into Emily’s eyes.
They started chatting, and at one point, their knees started touching one another. Lora didn’t pull her knee away—she liked it. Then Emily put her hand on Lora’s knee. She didn’t mind that either; it felt good. Moreover, Lora started to brush her thumb on Emily’s knuckles.
Emily got closer, and so did Lora.
“Do you buy every girl that you find pretty a drink?” Lora asked, resting her head on her hand, tipsy.
“No. Just you,” Emily answered, biting her lip and looking at Lora’s lips.
Lora smiled and looked into Emily’s eyes, putting one hand on Emily’s cheek and locking eyes with her. Moving closer to each other, they kissed. At first it was soft and a little hesitant, but then it was deeper and more confident. After they ended the kiss, Lora looked at her in shock, licking her lips.
“What have I done?” she thought.
Not able to say something, Kate came up and said, “Lora, come and help me—Olivia is like really drunk.” She grabbed Lora by the shoulder and led her to help their friend.
After they were on the street, waiting for the Uber, Kate asked, “Did you kiss that girl?”
“I mean… yeah,” Lora admitted.
“Why did you do it? You have a boyfriend, Lora! That’s cheating!” she said.
“I don’t know. I… I had a few drinks, I was caught up in the moment, and she looked so damn gorgeous, I just… wanted to kiss her.”
“That’s definitely not a justification,” Kate frowned. Lora wanted to say something, but Kate interrupted her.
“You know what… I’m not going to say anything to Jake unless he somehow finds out and asks me about it. It’s for you to unpack,” she shrugged her shoulders.
“Thank you,” Lora said, exhaling.
When the Uber arrived, they sat down. The ride was silent—nobody really talked. Lora had to get out first, as her apartment was closer.
Opening the door of the apartment and going in, she put her coat in the dresser and made her way to the room.
“Hey babe,” Jake said.
“Hi,” she answered and laid in bed next to him. Every time he called her “babe,” she didn’t feel anything. She didn’t find it sweet or anything. It was more like a feeling of cringe.
“Did you have fun at the bar?” he asked, smiling and looking at her.
“Yeah. It was really good,” she smiled, while her mind shifted back to that kiss. She had to forget it. She had a good boyfriend who loved her—what more could she possibly need?
Falling asleep, she dreamed about Emily again. She dreamed about how she was getting closer, putting her hand under Lora’s shirt, and then… she woke up. Opening her eyes and sitting up in bed, trying to process, she heard a voice.
“Everything okay, babe?” She looked at Jake.
“Yeah… just a weird dream. Go to bed,” she said, laying back down. As soon as she did that, Lora felt arms wrapping around her waist. She didn’t know what she was feeling in that moment. Uncomfortable? Tired?
The next day, Jake decided to go to the record store near their house and invited Lora along. She agreed—she loved going there, and besides, she had to stop thinking about what happened last night.
In the store, they decided to go to the sections they were interested in. Looking through different vinyls, Lora was zoned out until a voice brought her back.
“Well hey there, didn’t expect to see you here.”
Lora turned around just to see Emily. Her stomach dropped. In the daylight, she seemed even more beautiful. Now she could see her facial features more clearly—long, slightly crooked nose, blue eyes, and a little puffy lips, but not too much.
“Hi,” Lora just smiled. “What are you doing here?” She seemed genuinely surprised.
“This is my favourite shop. But I’m here just to talk to the worker so they can add our records to their inventory,” she smiled and started to look through vinyls as well.
“You have your own records?” Lora asked in surprise. “I thought you were just like a bar band.”
“I mean… we play in different places. Sometimes in a bar, sometimes in local venues or fests,” the woman shrugged her shoulders.
“That’s really cool. So where can I get a record?” Lora smiled, getting a little closer to Emily so their shoulders were touching.
“Well… as soon as this place adds it, I guess,” Emily said, locking eyes with Lora.
Jake interrupted them. “Hey, I already bought this one. Did you find anything?” he said. “I see you found a friend already.”
Lora was embarrassed. “Oh yeah, uhm… Jake, this is Emily. Emily, this is Jake.”
“Nice to meet you,” he said, and they shook hands.
“I met her at the bar yesterday,” Lora said, smiling.
“Nice,” Jake said, smiling. “So… I think we should head out then, if you didn’t find anything.”
“Oh—” she looked at Emily. “Yeah. Sure,” she nodded and walked up to Jake.
“See you around,” Emily said.
“See you.”
Walking out of the store, Jake said, “That girl was weird.”
Lora looked up in confusion. “What? What do you mean? Weird how?”
“I’m pretty sure she was hitting on you. And she does look like a dyke,” he explained.
“And what the hell is that supposed to mean?” Lora said indignantly, lowering her eyebrows.
“I don’t know. It’s just the way she was standing there with you and kept getting closer. I don’t know,” he threw up his hands.
“Whatever,” Lora said, still having a bittersweet feeling. “She looks like a dyke”—that was definitely such a wrong thing to say.
The next day, when Lora was packing her things into her bag for work, she couldn’t find her wallet.
“Shit, I must’ve forgotten it at the bar that night,” she thought, putting her hand on her face.
Opening the doors of the bar, she walked up to the bartender and asked if they had seen a wallet, describing it to them. They told her to wait while they searched in the lost and found.
Sitting down on a chair nervously, she felt a hand on one shoulder. Turning her head, she didn’t see anyone. Then she felt a hand on her other shoulder. Turning her head again, she saw Emily and laughed.
“Hey,” Lora said.
“Well hello there,” Emily smiled. “Did you come back to grab your wallet?”
“Yeah. How did you know?” Lora asked.
“I was the one who found it that night. You should be careful with your stuff, you know?”
“Yeah, probably,” Lora lowered her head.
“It’s okay though. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you yesterday—I thought you had it since you were in the store.”
“It’s fine,” Lora said, getting a little closer to Emily and looking into her eyes.
“Is Jake your boyfriend?” she asked.
“Yeah…” Lora had to admit. Her heart sank. What was going to happen now that Emily knew she had a boyfriend? What would she think of her?
“Then why did you kiss me that night? Are you the type of ‘I’m only gay when I’m drunk’ girl?” Emily bit her lip.
“No… not really,” she hesitated. “I’ve never kissed a girl before,” Lora admitted.
“Then why did you kiss me?”
“I don’t know. You just… looked so gorgeous, and I wanted to kiss you.”
“But you have a boyfriend,” Emily reminded her.
“I’m not sure I like him that much… I’m not sure if I’ve ever liked him,” she admitted.
Now thinking about how different she wanted to act with Emily in comparison to Jake, it started to make sense. She always thought she wasn’t a touchy person. But with Emily, she liked her touch, she liked subtle flirting, she didn’t find it cringe like she did with Jake.
“But I do think that I like you,” she bit her lip. “Not… like a friend, but as more.”
Emily put her hand on Lora’s cheek and locked eyes with her.
“Here’s your wallet, ma’am,” a bartender said, interrupting them. They both laughed.
“Thank you,” Lora said to the bartender.
Emily, acting fast, grabbed a pen from her bag and a tissue from the table. She wrote down her number while Lora watched her.
“Here’s my number. Text me once you break up with your boyfriend,” she said quietly.
Lora smiled, bit her lip, and chuckled. Kissing Emily on the lips, she came out of the bar—knowing more about herself, knowing why she didn’t feel right with her boyfriend, but ready to experience new things with her yet new girlfriend.