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Sasuke breathes in.
They are on their way to Naruto’s house, like every Thursday evening for the last few months since Sakura finally allowed them to leave the hospital she kept them monitored in after they were being found by her and Kakashi, unconscious from all the blood loss, but still holding onto each other.
Sasuke doesn’t remember much—certainly not all of it, but he remembers feeling at peace, finally, like bleeding out next to Naruto was where he was supposed to be all along. Crying. He remembers crying. And laughing. A lot of both. Naruto’s bloodstained fingers brushing the side of his hand, cautiously lacing them into each other because every move hurt so much. Sasuke’s exhausted heart jumped at the gentle touch, then fell back into its irregular and slow beat.
He was sure they were going to die in that damned valley, and he was fine with it. But he needed to know now before he was going to find Naruto in another life again. So he asked.
Cuz you’re my friend.
Sasuke remembers closing his eyes, huffing, and anger licking at his spine, setting his blood on fire. Not that again. Not that answer again; he had used that word so many times before, yet it never was what Sasuke wanted to hear. This couldn’t be all they were. Hidden, deep down. More to their bond than simple friendship—at least for Sasuke, there was. He still wasn’t so sure about what the blond thought.
You’ve said that before… but what exactly does that mean to you?
And Naruto told him. Before they lost their consciousness again, Naruto told him—about the hurt, about their childhood, about looking up to someone he admired from afar and stolen glances when he thought the other wasn’t looking, about feeling understood without having to say a word. Naruto’s hand grabbed a little harder while speaking, and Sasuke nodded and listened and cried.
Friend.
Perhaps Naruto would realize, in time, maybe he wouldn’t.
Sasuke breathes out.
They are almost at their destination. It is getting dark, the purple of the sky turning into a saturated blue as the sun hides behind the old mountains surrounding their home village for another night. People are finding places to spend the evening with people they treasure, eating and drinking and having fun because everybody is in high spirits since the war ended.
Naruto certainly is. He is talking, smiling, radiating warmth and joy and happiness, and only looking at him makes Sasuke take a step back sometimes, his throat constricted and his heart hammering. He still finds it a bit hard to accept that he is allowed to be on Naruto’s side, to see him break out into the brightest grin when he talks about the time he spent with his godfather, always noting that he made his obsession with Sasuke everyone’s problem at that time. That his greatest goal is and always has been Sasuke. That nothing will ever change that. To see Naruto do the most mundane things like watering his plants or cooking a meal. Washing his clothes. Opening his door to greet Sasuke for their morning spar. Seeing him so unguarded and so unbearably happy to have him back makes Sasuke nauseous at times.
Nothing changes between them; everything stays just the same like it had been before Sasuke went up to leave the village.
Sasuke is glad. They are friends. Best friends.
They turn the corner, and the back of Naruto’s hand brushes over his.
*
Sakura tells him about the Hyūga heiress when she comes over for her biweekly visit to check on him. Her cheeks are mottled in a sweet shade of cherry blossoms as she sits down on the old, creaking chair in Sasuke’s kitchen, her chin resting on her hands.
“Hinata is in love with Naruto.”
He stops to stir the curry for a second, not turning around to face her. He wills the stiffness out of his muscles and resumes cooking. “Who?”
“Hyūga Hinata? Shy, cute girl from team eight with dark hair that couldn’t say one straight sentence when we were all kids?”
Sasuke thinks back to the time before he left Konohagakure and tries to come up with a girl that fits the description. His eyebrows twist into a frown as all he can think of is of a Hyūga boy with long, brown hair and the barely contained anger directed at his family. He thinks of the mark stitched into his forehead and his pain ridden face when he allowed himself to step out of line. Then there it is—a blurred silhouette that barely contains the things Sakura has spoken of. Right. There was someone else.
“Neji’s cousin?”
“Yeah, that one!” Sakura tells him, and he hears the smile in her voice. Everyone is so happy nowadays. “She loves Naruto for quite some time, and now that the war is finally over she thinks about confessing her feelings.”
“Does she?”
“What?”
“Love him?”
Sakura chuckles softly behind his back. “Of course. She’s knitting him a scarf to show how much she feels for him—how much she values him as a person. Hinata’s a good person. She’s sweet and so pretty. Naruto can be happy that she is still interested in him after everything he has put her through!”
The rice is ready. The only thing left to do is turn off the oven and turn around to Sakura. He doesn’t want to face her. He watches the swirls he creates while stirring the curry, willing away the emotion that grips his heart. Naruto finding his happiness is a good thing—having a beautiful wife that loves him is what he deserves. Someone that can give him children, form a family with. He always longed for that kind of intimacy. Sasuke isn’t going to interfere with Naruto’s life any longer. They’re friends. Naruto said so himself.
So he takes two bowls out and fills them with curry and rice, and turns around.
*
Everything stays the same, but things change.
His face feels warm from all the alcohol in his bloodstream but he doesn’t mind. At least he isn’t slurring his words like Naruto does as he excitedly boasts about the letter from Gaara where he announces he is going to stay at Konoha for a few days next month. Naruto’s voice is loud and bright, filled with joy and laughter, and Sasuke catches himself involuntarily smiling at seeing Naruto so happy.
This is enough, he tells himself. Naruto deserves the world, and Sasuke is going to give it to him. If that means keeping quiet, so be it. Naruto is the sun in the center of Sasuke’s universe, and he will stay as close as a shadow sticks to light if his friend allows him to be.
“Karin wants to meet me,” Naruto says next, eyes shining with the promise of finding someone that shares the same blood after growing up believing to be all alone on this earth. Something heavy flips inside Sasuke’s ribcage as he sees the same fragile hope behind blue eyes as he did when Karin learned that she still had someone to call family, to remind her of a home that lies long destroyed on an island not too far from here.
“I told you so,” Sasuke replies with eyelids that start to feel too heavy to stay open for long—that’s the effect alcohol has on him, it makes him mostly tired.
“You did,” Naruto agrees softly, fingers feathering over his hand for a moment. The touch is so brisk Sasuke isn’t sure if he just imagined it. “It’s just that it still is a bit difficult to… yeah, well, to grasp the fact I have a cousin. Someone that I can call family, besides you, you know?”
Sasuke nods lazily, ignoring the way Naruto calling him family pulls at his heartstrings. It’s a good thing, he reminds himself. And it is. He just needs a bit more time to get all of his emotions under control. The alcohol certainly isn’t helping in that matter.
“She’s just as bullheaded as you, no wonder that you two are related. If I’m being honest, I should have guessed sooner.”
“Yeah?” Naruto asks, sounding like Sasuke didn’t insult him right there. “I’m so excited to see her! I mean, I saw her briefly at war—such a crazy thing to say, to be honest—and her hair looked like my mom’s.”
“Because your mothers are sisters.”
“I know, but that’s so cool! Sisters,” he mumbles to himself in awe. “I think it would be neat if my hair would be red too, even though I like that I look a lot like dad.”
Sleep tugs at Sasuke’s mind, heavy and warm, and he doesn’t protest against it as his eyes fall shut and his head lolls to his neck. Behind his closed eyelids arises the sight of the person that is most important to him—he sees the sea blue eyes as clear as day before him, the prominent scars on his face that reminds of the existence of the ancient being sharing space inside Naruto’s mind and the sun kissed skin, brown and always a little warmer than he imagines. But instead of honey coloured strands he sees the sated shade of berry jam.
He hums to respond to Naruto’s words, and adds quietly, “I like you blond.”
Something soft and heavy envelops him when Naruto’s breath hits the shell of his ear for a second, laughing quietly, as he puts a blanket around Sasuke’s shoulders. It smells like serenity, like home. Someday he has to ask Naruto what he uses so he can wash his stuff with the same detergent. Today isn’t the day though. He is too tired. He needs to sleep.
“Always falling asleep on me like that,” Naruto chuckles but Sasuke is already too far gone to think of something to throw back, something to defend himself. He doesn’t even like alcohol. It tastes bad. “It’s cute that you’re such a lightweight though.”
And somehow another pair of fingers curl around Sasuke’s, a thumb gently rubbing circles onto the back of his hand. His heartbeat quickens at the touch but sleep is sweeping him away before his mind fully comprehends what is happening.
*
It is becoming a habit, and Sasuke doesn’t know what to make of it.
First it only happens when they are at each other’s houses and no one else is around—and the blond will come up with a reason to touch him, be it to look at the small scar on Sasuke’s left pinky or to check if his hands are cold, but instead of taking away his hand after a moment or two, it stays, and then they are holding hands while Naruto will talk like nothing is out of the ordinary. Soon after that Naruto forgets about his excuses to grab Sasuke’s hands and just interlaces their fingers whenever he feels like it. Which is most of the time as soon as they sit down and start to tell each other about their day.
Then it happens outside too—just last week Naruto persuaded him to get Ichiraku’s for the third time in a row and while they sat at their table, the bowls already empty and the blond full and happy and sated, Sasuke sensed long, slim fingers searching for his own under the table. He cocked his head in confusion, waiting for Naruto to say something about it, to acknowledge what he was doing, but Naruto proceeded with his story about the new bug species Shino had found around Konohagakure, playing with Sasuke’s fingers while doing so.
To say Sasuke was overwhelmed is an understatement. Every time Naruto touches him, his heart rate spikes dangerously and he feels his blood heat because he knows he likes what the other is doing. It feels just as good as it is confusing and Sasuke hates him for being so casual about physical touches and showing affection. For Naruto, this still counts as ordinary friendship. As far as he knows Naruto doesn’t have any experience when it comes to romantic relationships. How should he know? All his role models were bad examples and the only books he ever read were written by one of said people.
Sasuke is convinced that Naruto wouldn’t do anything as long as people can see them. He might be a little slow, and a little too dumb for his own good, but surely he would know what people might think when they see them holding hands.
But, apparently, Naruto didn’t get that message.
They are walking through the streets of Konoha after their morning sparring session, still a little out of breath and way too sweaty for the heat blasting from the sun so early to feel comfortable. Filth and small specks of blood stick to their skin where they have cut through the first layer of skin and drawn blood when they had lost their footing and fallen to the ground, scraping over pebbles.
Then Naruto abruptly stops, his hand snaking around Sasuke’s wrist to make him halt too, and then his fingers slide from there to his own, palms meeting and fingers lacing.
“Hey Sasuke, look,” Naruto points excitedly to a shop window with different kinds of tea and teapots but Sasuke can’t stop staring at their intertwined hands. The small hairs on his neck stand up, making him hyper aware of the voices around them—there are people here, not in their direct proximity but not far away either. They will notice. “Should I buy something for you? You like that special brand of green tea, don’t you?”
“What?” Sasuke says rather dumbly as the words slowly start to make sense to him, his own heartbeat drumming too loud in his ears. His gaze jumps from their hands to Naruto’s brilliant face, a lopsided smile paying around his lips as he waits for an answer. “Uh, no.”
“No, as in I shouldn’t buy some tea or that I’m remembering wrong which tea you favor?”
Sasuke looks behind Naruto’s shoulder where a man has stopped in his tracks to look at them. Not them, but their hands. Sasuke’s breath catches—as soon as Naruto realizes people are going to think they are in a relationship, he will stop touching him.
“I have enough tea,” he says a little distracted, ready to pull his hand away and spare the blond all the unnecessary stress that will be caused by being seen holding hands but the second Sasuke is about to slip his fingers from the other’s hold, Naruto turns around to follow Sasuke’s gaze. Instead of letting go of Sasuke’s hand, Naruto squeezes lightly, and pulls them toward the man watching them.
“Jiji!” Naruto shouts with a happy voice, greeting the old man enthusiastically. “It’s so good to see you again! How is Keiko and your wife doing?”
“I knew it was you, Naruto! My eyes aren’t the best anymore, so I wasn’t entirely sure,” The man says, smiling warmly at the blond as he puts a wrinkled hand on Naruto’s shoulder to greet him. “You look good, that’s great! Keiko is saying her first words, she is a very curious girl and my wife and I are very happy to watch her while our daughter is away on important business.”
“Keiko is such a smart girl. Please tell them I will visit you guys soon.”
“Of course,” the man agrees, bowing slightly in front of them. “If you want to join, we would be glad to have you too, Sasuke.”
At first, he thinks he has misheard the old man because there is no reason for the people in Konoha to welcome him into their homes but the expectant grey eyes wait for an answer. The words get stuck on their way into Sasuke’s mouth, he coughs to get them out of there, and Naruto’s hand puts encouragingly a little pressure on his own.
“Ah, yeah, thank you,” he manages to say, frowning at the bizarre situation he finds himself in. That simple act of friendliness towards him still leaves him with an odd feeling around his chest but he knows that Naruto does his best to integrate him, convincing everyone in their village that he isn’t evil, that he had his reasons. And objectively, while he knows that people move on rather quickly and most of them probably have already forgotten how they treated Naruto when he was a kid, lonely and on his own, only changing their opinion of him because he was useful and the only one capable of saving the world—he hasn’t forgiven them. He hasn’t forgotten.
And he doesn’t care. He doesn’t care about the village or its people; his loyalty lies with Naruto.
“You were a little rude,” Naruto complains with a low voice as he gives his hand a tug, pulling them into step. The man that was talking to him is now gone, disappearing inside a fish shop.
“I don’t trust them,” Sasuke replies, which is technically true but only half of the reason he didn’t follow the conversation.
“Not all of the people here are bad, you know? They try to change for the better but we have to let them grow first. Everyone makes mistakes.”
Sasuke huffs. “As long as that old council rules this village, nothing will change. Not everyone deserves to be redeemed, Naruto, and they are still walking free.”
“I know,” Naruto sighs, nodding softly at his words. “But Kakashi says it isn’t so easy. We can’t just put them in jail and be done with them.”
“Why not?”
“Because we want to be better than them. They will get a fair trial when the time is right and then they will be going to jail for the rest of their lives. Collecting and sorting all the evidence takes a lot of time, since, you know, there is a lot of it. But Kakashi wants the people to participate in the matter and understand what misery they brought over all of us.”
“We’ll see what is going to happen,” Sasuke says, not really convinced that Kakashi will take after his words—how much are they worth, coming from a man raised with a master that took his name away and gave him a new one; telling him truth meant lie and lie meant surviving. Kakashi is a dog still loyal to the bony ruins of his home.
Naruto bumps his shoulder into Sasuke’s, chuckling lightheartedly. “Y’know, your sense of justice is one of the reasons I love you. But you’ll have to trust me with this one.”
With his heart hammering inside his chest, Sasuke’s gaze jumps to Naruto’s face, blinking incredulously at him because that surely isn’t what Naruto has just said. Means. I love you . That dumbass is one of the few people on earth who think it is okay to use these words platonically. And Sasuke has to suffer because of it. But—but what if he means it just like Sasuke wants him to?
“I’m your best friend, right?” Sasuke asks, breath catching in his throat. He wants to hear the answer, but he is afraid of it all the same.
“You’ll always be!”
Right. There it is.
He doesn’t want to look into Naruto’s eyes, and doesn't want to see how perfectly content the other is with them being nothing more than friends while Sasuke yearns for Naruto’s arms to hold him and never let go. Even though Sasuke knew it all along, he has asked many, many times before, the disappointment still sits heavy in his stomach. He turns his gaze away from Naruto’s bright smile.
He really has to stop asking.
“Sure.”
*
Sasuke spots the radiant, vibrating chakra coming closer with an incredibly fast pace. The idiot must be running. A few minutes later there is an exciting knock at Sasuke’s door, accompanied by a joyous “Sasuke! I’m here! Open up!”
An amused huff bubbles up his throat as Sasuke puts down his cup of tea and walks towards the door, ignoring how his pulse speeds up at the thought of seeing him again.
“Hi,” Naruto grins at him with all his teeth and a slight blush on his cheeks from running too much around in the summer heat. The wind has ruffled up his dandelion hair, making it even more messy than usual and Sasuke has to suppress the want of running his hand through it, so he makes the mistake of looking at Naruto’s eyes.
There won’t be a time where he will not be shocked by how blue they really are—how easily he gets lost in them, being washed away by the crystal clear water of Naruto’s irises. He would drown in them if he could.
“You’re late,” Sasuke says like he doesn’t care at all, remembering to blink.
“Sorry,” Naruto ducks his head, chewing his lips slightly, and Sasuke regrets that he has said anything. He is so easily reminded that the blond is his greatest vulnerability, one he couldn’t turn away from even if he wanted to. Like, he has already tried. More than once. The last years have spelled that out to him meticulously. Being physically so attracted to that blond moron is Sasuke’s biggest flaw, easily. “The meeting with Kakashi took a bit longer than expected but I have the seeds for your garden!”
“I would kick you again if you hadn’t.”
“My feelings are still hurt about that, y’know.”
“You forgot about the seeds not only once, not twice but three times.”
“Yeah, but I apologized every time! I told you, I was too happy to see you again so I forgot them on my counter.”
“You see me almost everyday,” Sasuke deadpans with a flicker of warmth he can’t keep out of his voice.
“I know,” Naruto shrugs, grinning, and rests a hand on Sasuke’s waist. The touch is gentle but firm, just enough to ease him out of the way and gone the next moment has Narutp stepped inside Sasuke’s apartment. “I’m always happy to see you, Sasuke.”
Sasuke’s eyes widen for the split of a second before he turns his head, “Shut up, moron.”
“Just telling the truth,” Naruto sings, taking off his shoes before he slips into his obnoxiously orange slippers with a bowl of ramen on them. The blond brought them with him one day, saying something about that he is staying over so often, it would be more practical to have one pair for him at Sasuke’s house. Theoretically, Sasuke supposes, Naruto is right. “After we’re done planting all your stuff, can we make something to eat? I liked the soba dish you made last week.”
“We’ll see,” Sasuke says, the spot where the blond touched him mere moments ago still burning. “Let’s get to work first.”
And they do. For a few hours they work in tandem, digging up the earth and clearing the space of weeds before they can put the vegetable seeds into the soil. Naruto tells him where the best spots are for each plant, giving him tips of how and when to water them and when the right time for fertilizer comes. Sasuke listens carefully, noting down mentally each little tip he has to offer.
It is still hot outside and he is sweating a lot, so he swipes over his cheek with the back of his hand.
Naruto might be a little dense most of the time but Sasuke knows that he can count on him when it comes to everything that is considered to be alive. Especially if Naruto can make use of his special ability—talking and sympathizing with people until they understand Naruto was right all along. It is the same thing that has happened to Sasuke—mixed with a few punches and kicks, but nonetheless the magic worked on him also.
And after Naruto didn’t have to run after Sasuke anymore or save the world from some ancient alien being for that matter, he finally had time for hobbies. So it became apparent Naruto had a green thumb not soon after. He even talks to his own plants, gives them different names and such, and they grow like crazy. Being close to the personification of the sun, who could hold that against them? Sometimes Sasuke feels just like he is one of them, always reaching for the boy-shaped warmth.
“Sasuke.”
Snapped out of his thoughts by Naruto’s voice, Sasuke’s gaze jumps up to his friend—only to find him already looking at him with an expression that knots his stomach and lets his heart flutter nervously.
“What?” he asks, his voice growing scratchy as Naruto leans in, his eyes dipping lower on his face. A shiver runs down Sasuke’s spine and his eyebrows scrunch in confusion.
Then a thumb wipes over the spot right above Sasuke’s right mouth corner.
“You had a bit of dirt on your cheek,” Naruto tells him with a little smirk, his gaze locking with Sasuke’s and he doesn’t lean away immediately, instead the finger on Sasuke’s face stays right where it is, eliciting the nerves under his skin with lightning. With it comes the thunder rumbling through his blood—this isn’t right. Whatever Naruto thinks he is doing, he is wrong. That idiot. If he wants them to stay friends, he has to stop crossing these lines. He has to tell him, to make him back off and—
Naruto chuckles quietly, pressing his mouth to his.
*
“Tell Naruto hello from me,” Kakashi smiles through his mask that covers half of his face. He sits behind his desk, one leg casually crossed over the other, the official Hokage’s robe hung on a hook instead of covering Kakashi’s shoulders. It shows the way his thinking has changed over the years—no longer abiding blindly to the rules set by people hiding in the dark.
Sasuke turns around, raising his hand in a small wave. “If I see him, I will.”
“Good thing you’re on your way to him then.”
He halts. “Are you watching me again?”
“No, no,” Kakashi deflects, real or fake indignation stitched into his voice Sasuke can’t say. “Don’t hurt your old sensei like that. I would never put someone on your tail… again.”
“Then how do you know?” Sasuke looks over his shoulder and finds Kakashi with an amused shine glazed over his dark grey eyes. They both perfectly know that if the circumstances were slightly different, Kakashi absolutely would have ANBU following him. But he has to give him credit for slowly disbanding the structures of the unit—he tries to atone for his past; the only reason why Kakashi has accepted the role as Hokage in the first place is because he feels obligated to, driven by his guilt complex, Naruto told him not long ago.
Kakashi shrugs his shoulders nonchalantly. “Some little bird sang to me this morning.”
Rolling his eyes, Sasuke scoffs. “Whatever.”
On his way to Naruto’s apartment he picks up some packages of instant ramen of the brand he knows Naruto likes best. If Sasuke wouldn’t make dinner for him most of the days, his diet would probably only consist of these things. Too lazy to cook, he always says. Sasuke thinks Naruto just doesn’t like to eat alone, since every time they cook together, the other is always super motivated to get everything right. He loves to learn new things. Sometimes he even tries to cook for Sasuke.
The closer he comes the more restless he becomes, unable to forget about the kiss in his garden the other day. They haven’t talked about it. Just like the time in the academy, as Naruto kissed him for the first time in front of everyone—he never had the courage to bring it up again, and the other didn’t seem to mind either, so Sasuke kept quiet. Something close to jealousy settles in his stomach, asking himself if he is the only one that Naruto kissed like that—
And is he going to kiss him again?
Sasuke shakes his head incredulously. He shouldn’t be thinking such things. With Naruto always being so close, holding his hand and kissing him it is so easy to believe he really means it when he tells him he loves him. But it’s Naruto—who would do anything for his friends. Who grew up all alone and touch starved. Whenever he is around people, he gets handsy as soon as he knows their names. It probably isn’t anything special.
“Thank you, Hinata. This really means a lot to me.”
Sasuke stops, looking up to the voice he would recognize among thousands—and there he is. Naruto, flustered, scratching his neck as he stands in front of some girl with black hair that easily reaches her waist. He doesn’t see her face but he doesn’t have to; there, in Naruto’s left hand, is red fabric. The scarf, Sasuke realizes.
Naruto smiles at her softly, his face red from the confession he must have gotten right before Sasuke stepped around the corner, and it feels like being stabbed with Haku’s senbon all over again. His breath hitches as he observes Naruto leaning down to put his arms around the Hyūga heiress, hugging her close. He is accepting. He’s accepting her confession.
Needless to say that he does. Naruto is straight. He had a crush on girls before, Sasuke would know, he wasn’t particularly good with keeping his crush on Sakura a secret.
Sasuke has seen enough and sets off for his own home, locking his door because he knows Naruto will come looking for him when the girl is gone. When he does, Sasuke pretends to be long asleep.
*
Sasuke expects things to go back to normal. They don’t. Naruto doesn’t bring up his encounter with the Hyūga heiress which Sasuke thinks is odd—he knows how much it means for Naruto to be accepted by the people surrounding him, and now there is a girl wanting to be his girlfriend. A pretty girl, Sakura said. As Naruto was younger, he would have done anything for the attention of a girl he liked.
So why is he not telling him? Doesn’t he trust him enough?
And what is even more confusing is that Naruto seems to touch him more now than ever. There will be a hand covering his when they are sitting on the couch, a gentle grip around his hips when Naruto pulls him aside to get something from the kitchen counter he simply could have asked for instead and once in a while, Naruto will lean in and kiss him softly on the lips.
He doesn't even bother going home anymore on most nights.
Most of Naruto’s plants are here now. There is a section of Naruto’s clothes in his wardrobe. Sasuke even bought a second toothbrush because he is sure Naruto was using his all the time even though he doesn’t admit it.
Deep down, Sasuke knows he should put a stop to it all. That it isn’t healthy. Naruto is in love with a girl, not him. It doesn’t make any sense that he spends most of his time with him instead of her—perhaps he is trying to gain some experience before he gives it a real try with her. Who knows.
Whenever he wants to talk about it with Naruto, that friends usually don’t do this stuff, Naruto does something; smile at him with that sunlit, gorgeous face or whisper sweet nothings into his ear, kissing Sasuke’s throat until he feels raw and lightheaded. Even the times when Sasuke wakes up before him, noticing the wet, dark stain of Naruto’s pillow where he has drooled on is enough for him to forget he was supposed to say something.
Sasuke is utterly, hopelessly in love with Naruto.
He has been for years—for far longer than he wants to admit.
So as long as Naruto wants to touch him, hug him close and bury his nose into Sasuke’s hair at night, he will let him. This will end soon anyway. Naruto will be marrying the Hyūga girl and Sasuke will stay alone for the rest of his life, full of love that has no place to breathe.
*
If Kakashi’s eyes are full of pity for him when they meet for their monthly meet-up with all the members of Team 7, he doesn’t care. Kakashi should be the last person on earth to pity anyone other than himself, he should shut his mouth and be done with it. The one who replaced him while Sasuke was gone and looks eerily similar to him, Sai, congratulates them for whatever reason. He doesn’t even bother replying, Sai is always saying strange, obnoxious stuff—he doesn’t see Naruto’s reaction though, because Sakura asks him if they can talk privately later today.
He declines. He doesn’t want to see anybody right now. Besides, Naruto is coming over today.
“You sure? Not even for ten minutes?” Sakura insists, folding her arms but before Sasuke can really reconsider, two strong arms sling around his shoulder, pulling him towards Naruto’s warm, firm chest.
“What are you two talking about?” Naruto grins at them, putting his chin on the crown of Sasuke’s head, swinging them slightly.
“That’s none of your business,” Sakura says in an icy tone, narrowing her eyes. Usually she isn’t that cruel to Naruto anymore.
“Boo,” Naruto sticks his tongue out. “She’s mean to me, Sasuke. Tell her to stop.”
Sasuke rolls his eyes. “Moron. Let’s go, we still need to pick up some groceries on the way home.”
Sakura looks like she wants to say something else but then she just sighs, and they say goodbye to everyone and take off.
There is a spring in Naruto’s step and an usual bright smile on his lips, even for his standards. For a while they are walking in complete silence. “What is going on with you?” Sasuke asks, arching one of his eyebrows.
Naruto’s eyes jump to his face, as if just now realizing Sasuke is right next to him, and the smile gets unbelievably bigger. Sasuke’s heart stutters under his gaze and then he is grabbed by his wrist, being pulled against a tree. For a moment their eyes meet, ocean blue on midnight sky, then Naruto’s gaze smoothes over his face. He chews his bottom lip as Sasuke is certain the eyes have stopped at taking in the sight of Sasuke’s mouth.
Sasuke gulps, a shiver running over his skin. The summer heat has painted a slight blush on Naruto’s cheeks, sprinkled with freckles Sasuke has counted so many times. Naruto’s gaze is burning him from the inside out, a wave of water washing over Sasuke, rendering him unable to break out from that moment.
Then a warm, calloused hand cups his face, and Sasuke’s first instinct still is to tell him to get away from him. They are in public, people are going to see, that it is too intimate; but then Naruto dips down, and their lips brush gently. Sasuke takes a breath in surprise and the other takes the opportunity to slip his tongue inside Sasuke’s mouth, pushing him further into the tree with his body weight.
Heat begins to simmer in his blood and the next second, Sasuke’s eyes fall shut while he opens his lips a little wider to kiss him back. When he does, he feels Naruto smile into the kiss, pleased, tilting his head for his tongue to reach deeper inside Sasuke’s mouth.
He doesn’t know how long it takes for them to break apart—it sure isn’t that long enough.
The smile plastered on Naruto’s face is all-teeth and sun and it knocks the air right out of Sasuke’s lungs.
Naruto presses a feather-light kiss to the tip of Sasuke’s nose, and whispers, “I love you so much, you know?”
Sasuke’s heart stutters in his chest. It feels like it might climb straight out of his throat, loud and trembling. He blinks, once, twice, as if trying to convince himself this is real—that Naruto is real, that these words are meant for him. And perhaps they are, but not in the way Sasuke needs them to be.
“Usuratonkachi,” Sasuke manages to rasp, the word catching like a burr in his throat. It’s all he can think to say, the only anchor he has while everything inside him is unraveling, raw and yearning.
*
Things escalate rather quickly after that.
It takes them two more days until only kissing isn’t enough and Naruto’s hands slide under Sasuke’s waistband for the first time to touch him there. Sasuke returns the favor by sinking to his knees for him and then has to listen to Naruto lewdly telling him that he has fantasized about that a lot. He manages to make Naruto come in his mouth, even though he struggles and gags a lot—which finds Naruto endearing and so fucking hot and makes Sasuke feel a lot better about his inexperience when it comes to such things.
When Naruto suggests sleeping together not soon after, Sasuke agrees.
It doesn’t mean anything to him, a voice in the back of his mind says. Do I look like I fucking care?, he says back.
*
Naruto guides him on his back with his big hand splayed on Sasuke's pale chest, putting soft pressure there. He melts into the touch like wax; his back hits the mattress with a soft thud and the other boy gently nudges Sasuke’s legs open and crawls between them, knowing his way.
They are both completely naked and feeling Naruto's hot, thick length pressing against him isn't unfamiliar to him anymore. Neither are the fingers working him loose, pushing in and out, coaxing shameful little moans over his lips that he tries to swallow.
He hates how easily it happens—one look, one kiss, and his body betrays him completely. He can’t help it. He never could. Naruto touches him, and he falls apart like it’s the only thing he’s ever known how to do. But he doesn’t have to share that secret with him; Naruto would never shut up about it if he knew.
Sasuke feels sugar-hot lust rushing through his blood as Naruto bites into the flesh of his collarbone and then sucks on the sensitive skin until flowers bloom in the shades of red and blue. He moves his head aside, quietly signaling to Naruto to press more kisses along his throat, to mark him as his own.
Naruto doesn't need to be told twice; his tongue glides along Sasuke's throat, a slight sheen of sweat covering it, and then he feathers sweet, light kisses into the skin right before he leaves another love bite.
“Sasuke,” Naruto exhales, all heat and hunger, and comes up again. Sasuke will never get used to that look in his eyes—the one that strips him bare, that makes him feel like prey. Like Naruto isn’t just going to touch him—he’s going to crack open his ribcage and devour his heart.
“You're ready for me yet?”
Sasuke runs his right hand through Naruto's soft hair and grabs a fistful of it, pulling him close enough to claim his mouth for another kiss to swallow down the I love you that waits on the tip of his tongue.
He opens up for Naruto like a petal, a familiar act by now, and crosses his ankles behind the other’s lower back, guiding him closer until Naruto sheaves himself inside slowly, sighing softly into his mouth as they keep kissing through it.
When there is no longer any oxygen to work on, they have to break apart against their will but one little string of saliva connects them for a second longer. A warm wave washes over Sasuke that turns into a whole storm as Naruto brings their foreheads together, looking right into Sasuke's soul.
He rolls his hips and sighs against Sasuke's wet lips and the sea of Naruto's blue eyes washes over him. “I love you.”
“S–Shut up,” he hisses, but it’s soft, trembling. Weak.
His cheeks are burning, eyes screwed shut—not from shame, but from fear. Fear of what Naruto sees. Fear of how badly he wants to believe it. Because Naruto says it like he means it. Says it while he’s inside him like he’s trying to reach the deepest part of him and stay there.
“I can’t when I love you so, so much, Sasuke,” Naruto breathes into his ear and his thrusts become rougher, more urgent—his body pressing deeper, skin on skin, and Sasuke thinks they are so close their souls must tangle. Fingers slide between Sasuke’s. Naruto holds him down, forcing him to feel everything, to surrender completely.
Sasuke’s breath hitches, the tenderness with which Naruto touches him brings a burn to his eyes. There is no way the love he holds for him can fit within the heart of one person—it's a force too consuming, too boundless, like it was never meant for the fragile limits of a human soul in the first place.
“Look at me.”
But he can't. So he shakes his head.
“Please,” Naruto says, voice desperate and low, “Please, I need to see your eyes while I make you fall apart.”
And who is he to resist the boy fate has entwined him with? He can’t. Not when his heart beats in time with Naruto’s. Not when every breath he takes is a prayer to him—a prayer to the god with sunshine smiles and dandelion hair Sasuke has himself bound to in this life, and the next.
He opens his eyes, and gets rewarded by another push of Naruto's hips, slow and deep, and sugary warm honey floods his veins, pooling in his guts. The needy sound that leaves his lips makes Naruto chuckle in delight.
“Wanna hear you too,” he laughs, doing it again, and Sasuke's toes curl in pleasure as white-hot lightning shoots through his body, making him shiver all over.
“I love you,” he says like Sasuke’s heart isn’t already fracturing at the edges with love so tender and great there is no room for his lungs to breathe anymore. And then Naruto brushes that spot inside Sasuke’s body; and Sasuke feels all his muscles tense before he can’t hold the pleasure back any longer. “So much. I love you, I love you, I love you, Sasuke, I love you so, so unbearably much.”
*
Later that night they lie awake in Sasuke's bed, not having bothered to put on any clothes just yet, and Naruto listens quietly to the soft thrumming of Sasuke’s heart. Sasuke thinks it makes it too obvious, the unsteady jump of his heart whenever Naruto is close, the fastened pulse, but he is too far out to do anything against it.
He is on the brink of falling asleep when he hears Naruto's voice, feels it vibrating inside his chest like a second heartbeat. “Sasuke,” he says sheepishly all of a sudden, his fingers idly stroking over Sasuke's hipbone. “Do you want to have kids?”
And suddenly he takes a step away from the sleepiness curling around him; he frowns, taken aback by the unusual choice of topic, and feels his muscles tense with fear. “Why?”
“I don't know, I just… keep thinking about it lately. How it would be. To have someone else to care for, I mean. To build my own family,” Naruto explains quietly, his fingers running idly over Sasuke’s belly.
In times before the massacre of his own clan, times when his family was still alive, Sasuke had always imagined himself having a lot of children with a pretty wife once he grew up. They would inherit all the Uchiha’s secrets and traditions from Obaachan; she would have loved to take them to the clan’s shrine and tell them how the Sharingan came to be, that there is fire running through a Uchiha’s veins, that—
They are all dead.
Sasuke didn't think he would make it past sixteen.
He hasn’t thought about marrying and getting children in a long, long time.
Now there is really no reason to—his bloodline is going to end with him, there is no one to come home to, no one to learn from. He will never love a woman, he will never love anyone that isn’t Naruto if he is honest with himself. And even if Naruto would love him back the same way, they could never have kids, and that is another reason why he will never act on his feelings for him—he won’t be holding him away from a happy future with as many children as he wants, with a woman that can bear those children for him.
Something slick and bitter licks at Sasuke’s spine. In another body, perhaps things would be different.
“No,” Sasuke says and keeps the grief out of his voice, blinking rapidly against the dark ceiling. His chest feels uncomfortably hollow, like something has been taken from there and he doesn’t remember what. He blames it on the pheromones rushing through his blood.
“Why not?”
“How would I do that, dumbass? There is no way I’m getting a woman pregnant.”
For whatever reason Naruto finds that amusing and chuckles, but then he turns quiet for a moment or two. The sliding of finger’s on his stomach, the gentle pressure of their touch, makes him a little squirmish, a little nervous, like he is supposed to connect something he doesn’t see. “You don’t have to. There… there are other options.”
“Like what?” Sasuke questions.
“Like—like adoption, for one thing.”
“I’d still need someone who would want to adopt a kid with me.”
“I would adopt!” Naruto says firmly, turning his head so he can turn his gaze to Sasuke’s face; like what Naruto wants has anything to do with Sasuke’s own future.
“That’s very honorable of you, moron, but—”
“—that’s not the only way though.”
“What?”
Sea foam fills his chest as Naruto’s blue eyes lock with his, honest and intimately close. “Tsunade-baachan’s working on something that lets same sex couples have biological children—the basis is my Oiroke no Jutsu but I didn’t really understand all the theoretical stuff around it, just that it would help a lot of people be more happy. So… you could have children with a man too. If you wanted, I mean.”
Sasuke’s frown deepens. “One of the two people involved would still need to carry the child to full term?”
“Exactly!” Naruto tells him with a small smile, “One person is swapping their reproductive organs for as long as it’s needed—then they return to their original sex if they want to. Science is, like, crazy nowadays. If we decided to have a child that way, do you think it would look more like you or me? Or a mix of us both?”
“For the child’s sake, I’d hope your genes stay out of it.”
It is far too simple to conjure another lifetime behind Sasuke’s eyes when it has anything to do with Naruto. He thinks of a girl with goldenrod hair and dark eyes and whisker marks on her cheeks. Her smile is so bright and warm it isn't difficult to conclude who her father is. Then there is a boy, a little younger, with ocean blue eyes and sunkissed skin but the hair on his head is in the shade of midnight black, sitting on his father’s shoulders. He always wears a small frown on his face but when he smiles, Sasuke finds his mother smiling back.
The children wear the symbol of his clan and don’t think of blood and death and tragedy because they are what comes after a time of loss; hope and life. Moving on. Sasuke blinks, and there is another clan embroidered on their clothes which they wear proudly—a maelstrom, connecting them to a place far away, an identity that has almost been erased from this world.
Sasuke blinks, and all that is left is blood and death and tragedy and a future that won’t be. It is the moment he knows he can’t keep lying to himself, the closeness and intimacy only makes it worse.
His hands tremble when he comes to a decision.
*
“Sasuke,” Kakashi sighs wearily, his forehead thrown into lines of concern. “Are you really sure about that? You would leave Konoha for months, maybe several years, coming back inbetween won’t be easy, if not impossible.”
He nods resolutely. “I’ve made up my mind.”
Kakashi’s gaze on him is heavy, crushing, trying to guilt-trip him to stay. “We’d miss you. Sakura and Sai would. But especially Naruto—you know how he gets when you’re not around.”
“I’m sure you all will manage just fine, Kakashi,” Sasuke says, reaching out with his hand, palm up. “Now give me the role so I can go.”
“He’ll miss you, Sasuke. He’ll be so miserable again.”
Rage flares alive in the constriction of his rips as he scoffs, “I’m not dying.”
“But you’re running away from your problems,” his old sensei points out. “I don’t know what exactly is going on between you and Naruto—but I’m sure it is all a big misunderstanding if you two would just learn to communicate with each other instead of assuming what the other thinks or wants.”
“I’m not leaving because of him,” Sasuke bites out to get the point across, glaring at the grey-haired man in front of him. “I never intended to stay in Konoha permanently anyway.”
“When was the last time you talked to Naruto then?”
“That’s none of your fucking business, Kakashi.”
“Is it really too much that I want to see my students happy?” Kakashi mumbles, shaking his head before his eyes bore itself again in Sasuke’s gaze. “He has lost you once, Sasuke, and he barely survived the first time.”
“He has someone else to pour all his energy into now,” he mutters, tasting bile on his tongue as he spits out those words. He can feel the familiar ache settle around his bones, heavy and dull, and he tries to push all of that away—far, far away behind a wall where it doesn’t reach him anymore. That wall has cracks now though, the sun has made the substance brittle.
Kakashi’s eyebrow arches as he carefully dissects what Sasuke has said. “What do you mean?”
Sasuke thinks of eggshell colored eyes, of long, silk hair in the color of coal and of skin in the shade of the full moon, all soft edges and warm smiles. Someone that is easy to love. “Forget it. Send me the details later. Bye, Kakashi.”
“Sasuke, wait—”
*
It doesn’t take long for him to grab everything he needs for his journey, it isn’t much he needs when he will spend most of his time in other dimensions anyway. Leaving Konoha once again feels strangely easy and hard at the same time. It isn’t the village per se that grounds him here, even though they haven’t talked for one week because Sasuke always materialized into nothing as soon as Naruto knocked on his door, he can feel the oscillations of his chakra at the other end of the village without difficulty. Like there is a trace of another soul inside the bones of his head.
This isn’t easy—it is necessary.
Sasuke needs to get away from him, to put as much distance between them as possible, so his heart might slow down again, forget how it feels to have Naruto touch him gingerly, touch him greedily, how his voice sounds when he says he loves him—all of this needs to be gone. He thought he could stay and let the line of their relationship blur and stretch so Naruto could take what he wanted from him but the truth is, he can’t.
He can’t have the person he loves, so he needs to let him go.
Sasuke opens his door, and—
“Good morning, Sasuke-kun,” the woman with eggshell colored eyes greets him with a light bow, her voice velvety and sweet, and Sasuke thinks she is even more beautiful close up. “Can I have a moment with you please?”
He blinks at her, contemplating if he should close the door in her face or teleport himself to the other end of earth. A heartbeat later he has done nothing like that; he just gawks at her, breathing a little too fast. She probably notices but doesn’t say anything.
“I’m leaving,” is all he manages to say, throat dry and tongue heavy. She has no reason to talk to him, he is no longer going to keep Naruto from her. He understands his place now.
“I know,” she says with a steady voice, nodding slightly. She puts a hand on his door, opening it wider. “That’s why I’m here. We have to talk.”
“I—”
“Would you please make me a cup of green tea while we’re at it? I heard you like the same brand I do,” she softly smiles at him, the corner of her mouth full of warmth and friendliness, walking past him to sit down. For a few seconds Sasuke continues to stare at the point where she stood a mere moment ago, his pulse surging with adrenaline. He doesn’t understand. Isn’t it a good thing he is leaving Konoha?
“It’s great to finally talk to you,” she points out after Sasuke has closed his door and started to prepare the tea she wants. “We sadly never really connected before you left, and yet I think we would have been really good friends if we had had the time. You and I are more similar than you might think at first—but I digress, how impolite of me! How are you today, Sasuke?”
Dizziness crawls through his head, dips his blood in ice. Didn’t Sakura say she is shy?
“I’m… surviving.”
“I heard the same thing just a few hours ago,” she lets out a soft chuckle, a glint of something vague in her unending eyes, and takes the cup in her hand that Sasuke gives her. “Thanks for the tea. Please sit down.”
“Like I said,” she begins, “I won’t take much of your time, so I will come straight to the point. Just listen to me for a few minutes, please.”
He nods, feeling too numb to protest.
“I love Naruto. To be precise, I have loved him for years.”
Sasuke’s breath gets stuck somewhere at the level of his heart that clenches and splinters, sharp and jagged. He has to lower his gaze and look somewhere that isn’t her pretty, perfecr face—that she can say that so confidently, so honestly, makes it even worse.
“I’m sure you have looked at him plenty of times; I don’t have to tell you how amazing he is, how easy he makes it look to love people unconditionally, with everything he’s got. Naruto is a truly good soul, and I wish to see him happy—here, too, are we similar, Sasuke.”
“I don’t—”
“Just listen,” Hinata reminds him, an encouraging smile on her mouth. “I am not sure if you know but I confessed to Naruto once when Pain attacked Konoha—don’t look so surprised, I bet Naruto has long forgotten, he had more important matters to attend to—and I think I should have learned my lesson then. He never gave me an answer, never talked to me or seeked me out on his own. You were everything he thought of, everything he talked of, all the time, and I thought when he finally would bring you home, there would be a bit of space for me inside his heart. What an egotistical thought from me, huh?”
She laughs quietly, bringing the cup to her lips and drinks.
“Anyway, the war ended and Naruto brought you home—with you also returned Naruto’s smile, that big, sunny smile of his that always made me feel like I’m right where I belong and he even acknowledged me more often when we met with our friends. I wished I had a real chance for him to fall in love with me, and I thought if I showed him how good I was, what he means to me, that it would change things,” she says and her voice grows a little softer as a translucent glow looms in her eyes. “So I confessed a second time.”
“And he accepted—he took the scarf you made,” Sasuke adds with a scratchy, wobbling voice.
“He took the scarf, yes,” she agrees, nodding. “Good-natured that he is, he thanked me for the hours I invested knitting it, said that he really appreciates it—but he also said that his heart already belongs to someone else, and that was my biggest fear even though, deep down, I probably always knew. I just thought I owed it to myself to at least try. So, Sasuke, tell me one thing, do you love Naruto?”
Sasuke clears his throat. What’s the point in lying? “Y-Yes. I'm sorry.”
“Thank you for being honest with me. But please don’t apologize, there is nothing to excuse yourself for—you’re in love, that is something worth celebrating. I’m the one that should offer my apologies; I think I may be the reason you two are arguing. So I’m here to make things right.”
Shaking his head, he says, “This has to be a misunderstanding. Naruto and I are best friends, he said so himself—”
“And since when can’t you be in love with your best friend?”
She’s right. Sasuke should know, he is the one in love with his best friend after all.
“But—”
“Did you ever ask him what he wants or did you just assume things based on what you believed to know about his intentions?” She questions. “Sasuke, he really loves you. You’re the one he wants to spend his life with. Everyone can see the devotion in his eyes when he speaks about you, and I’m not even talking about the way he looks at you when you’re around. Don’t throw your love away so easily. Look at your hands, even fate is screaming at you, you two belong together.”
Hinata’s pale eyes fall on his right hand. He can feel the burn of her gaze on it, like a fire spreading in his palm and to his fingers, and he turns it; what looks back at him is the symbol of a sickle moon hidden inside his palm. The same spot where Naruto wears a sun—marking them as something that stems from the same part of the universe, the same stardust their bones are made of, like corresponding shapes that perfectly align.
“What do you want me to do then?”
“Be brave and talk to him before it’s too late.”
*
Sasuke thinks that it is only right that he has to do the chasing for once too.
He slips in through the window of Naruto’s apartment he knows he keeps unlocked. A normal person would have knocked on the door and waited to be let in but he fears Naruto might not want to see him right now—when he told Naruto to leave that one night they were talking about children, the blond didn’t go without a fight, surprised by the sudden change of Sasuke’s mood. Shutting himself off from his own emotions like he had been used to all the years before, it was easy to throw the first punch. Even easier when Naruto’s answer came in the form of a raged ocean and a split lip.
The one-room apartment is in a destructive state; half-empty and clutter strewn everywhere. Empty cup ramen are mindlessly stacked on the kitchen counter, the small dinner table, on the couch, and the ground is full with them also. Sasuke doesn’t know how it is possible to eat as many cup noodles without getting bored of them—but then, maybe it isn’t really about the food but the convenience of being reminded less of one’s own loneliness.
It is dark here, only the little frog lamp on Naruto’s night stand dives the space around his bed into soft, orange glowing. A frown carves into his face at how sparsely this place looks lived-in or tended for—like this isn’t Naruto’s home.
And then Sasuke realizes it’s because it probably… isn’t.
Nothing is here anymore. Naruto’s favorite mug he drinks his morning coffee from, his obnoxious orange slippers, the treasured picture of Team 7 with their sensei, every damn plant that used to fill this room with comfort and life. Nothing.
Everything is at Sasuke’s place.
Or should he say… their place? Naruto moved in with him long ago, and Sasuke didn't notice. He is an even bigger idiot than Naruto—for not realizing any of this sooner. Now everything seems so obvious, bright like stars.
Naruto is in bed, face turned to the wall. There are residues of the glue strip on it where posters used to hang. Posters Sasuke refused to put on his own walls when Naruto took them with him.
His eyes are trained firmly on the blond’s back when he says into the empty room, “Naruto.”
A jolt of lightning seems to run through his body at the sound of Sasuke’s voice, his shoulders tensing, and then catapults out of his own bed. His dandelion hair looks ruffled, like he hasn’t cared to comb it in days and there are dark, swollen bags of having cried too much under his eyes. The shirt he wears is white, or used to be, because it is stained and holey—and a pang of guilt punches Sasuke’s heart. Right. Naruto probably took all of his good clothes with him when he moved in with him.
“Sasuke.” A raspy, sleep-worn voice says, and ocean blue eyes grow wide, then narrow in suspicion. “What are you doing here? Is… is this a dream?”
He takes a step forward, breath catching in his burning lungs. “You’re the worst shinobi I’ve ever seen. Somebody could have come and killed you while you slept, Naruto.”
A little sad smile plays around Naruto’s lips. “So you’re really here. Dream Sasuke is usually way friendlier than you.”
Dream Sasuke. Like the need to be close to Sasuke is so deep rooted in the structure of Naruto’s mind, it will haunt him in his sleep.
“I came here to say I’m sorry.”
Naruto pinches himself, and Sasuke glares at him. “What are you doing, dumbass?”
“Thought I was still sleeping…” Naruto says, gaze turned to the ground, low and quiet, like he is mumbling only for his own ears. Then he takes a deep breath and straightens his posture, looking back up. He is determined when he says. “It should be me apologizing, Sasuke. You… you didn’t do anything wrong. I did.”
Sasuke gives him an odd look. This isn’t how it is supposed to be going. “What?”
Gesturing wildly, Naruto tells him with a voice that is thick and sad. “I…I just assumed after our last fight it meant we were a thing now… so I never really asked for permission when I did… things… to you. You must have felt so uncomfortable all the time, and I didn’t notice, and then you finally snapped and told me to go and only then I realised what I had done—but you wouldn’t talk to me, and I deserved that, all of that, but Sasuke, please believe me when I say I’m so, so sorry—”
“Breathe,” Sasuke reminds him and Naruto’s chest grows with the air filling his lungs as he stops babbling. “I’m your best friend, right?”
There is no second where Naruto hesitates. “Of course, you always will be. I told you, time and time again. You don’t have to worry about that, Sasuke.”
Sasuke closes his eyes, huffing. What idiots they are. It seems they truly deserve each other.
“I’m your best friend,” Sasuke repeats, his heart beating on his tongue. “But you also want to kiss me?”
The other nods fervently, a soft blush painting his cheeks red. “Yes. Terribly.”
“You want… children with me.”
The blush deepens. “Yeah.”
“Because you love me,” Sasuke says, his words trembling with the nervous fluttering of the organ inside his chest as he crosses the distance between him and the blond because he can’t bear not to touch him any longer. “Say you love me, Naruto. Tell me. Come on.”
At this Naruto’s eyes dart away from him and he runs a hand through his mess of blond curls, sighing. “Sasuke, you—”
“Say it,” Sasuke demands, tilting Naruto’s chin up until their eyes lock. A storm, wild and unrelenting, disturbs the clear blue water of Naruto’s eyes. “Now.”
“I love you.”
The words leave him like they have lived in his mouth forever, and Sasuke thinks, maybe they have. Maybe they were always supposed to love each other. In this life, and before, and in the next.
Warm breath catches on Sasuke’s tingling mouth, soft and delicate, then Naruto adds, “I love you so much it hurts sometimes. I’d do anything for you if you asked me.”
Sasuke draws in a shaky breath.
Something lurks in the dark chambers of his mind, stirring awake, a place where old wounds still ache, where grief and guilt lives, and he wonders, not for the first time, how deep Naruto’s love for him really runs. What if repentance isn't enough? What if Sasuke doesn’t want to rebuild on the stained ruins of his clan? If he asked Naruto to burn the Will of Fire to ash, to destroy everything that shaped them—would he light the match?
Would he do that too?
Sasuke closes his eyes.
He knows he will never be at peace while Konoha still stands. But that is a conversation to have for another day. He is selfish enough to want this moment unburdened by ghosts from the past. This is what comes after blood and death and tragedy; the warmth of sunlight in the shape of a boy, with ocean eyes, dandelion hair, and a beast burning golden in his chest.
Their foreheads touch as he leans in, voice lowering to something softer, steadier. His thumb brushes over Naruto’s bottom lip, pink and soft and warm. “And what if I asked you to be mine?”
Naruto exhales like something inside him is breaking and blooming all at once. He smiles when he says, “Then I’d never let you go again.”
“Promise?”
“Promise,” Naruto whispers—and this time, he closes the distance.
Their lips meet in a kiss that feels like a vow, like something claimed and kept, and the seals on their palms shine soft and still.
As if fate, at last, is content.