Chapter Text
Akane Tendo was fucking pissed. Out of nowhere, her father had suddenly sprung an arranged marriage upon her and her sisters. She was about to recap the full situation and introduce her family members when a loud thumping at the front door interrupted her.
Heavy, creaking steps made their way down the hallway, until the form of the new arrival revealed itself. A… panda? Carrying an unconscious girl over its shoulder? Before anyone had a chance to react with the usual degree of shock and fanfare, the panda reached into its pack, and pulled out a crumpled note.
[I am Genma Saotome. This is my son, Ranma. We’ve been cursed into these forms.]
Akane glanced over the newcomers again. The panda was definitely carrying a girl over its shoulder. Her long dark hair was honestly kind of pretty. Was she really supposed to believe that she was a guy? Then again, that panda was acting far too intelligent to be a mere animal. Was it easier to accept a panda being a guy than a cute girl being one? Why was that? And no, those rumors from middle school about Akane were completely unfounded, and have no bearing on why she might want her new fiance to be a girl.
After a thorough shaking from the panda, the girl(?) opened her eyes. “Huh? Bwah? I, uh, who are–”
Her brief efforts at regaining lucidity were interrupted by another shaking from Soun. “Ranma! You’ve finally came! I’ve waited so long for this day! I hear you’ve had a bit of a mishap with your body, but that won’t stop a strong young man like yourself from marrying one of my daughters, right?”
She stared at him before blinking a few times. “Uh… Yes! That’s me! I’m uh, Ranma Saotome! Man among men! Yup, definitely me! Definitely cursed into this body!”
Akane frowned at the newcomer. A guy who only looked like a girl definitely wasn’t the ideal partner for her. And no, she wasn’t going to unpack why she felt that way. Regardless, he was probably gonna be a better fit than any other guy she could find, so she might as well get to know him.
Grabbing his hand, she rushed out of the living room before the rest of her family had time to launch into their lengthy introductions. “Hey, I’m Akane. Apparently we’re forced into getting engaged. I’m sure you’re just as thrilled about this arrangement as I am, so we might as well get to know each other a little. Oh, by the way, that’s the kitchen, we’re passing the bathroom, and the dojo out back is where we’re headed. I figured we might want to beat the shit out of each other a little, you know, as fiancee’s do.”
Ranma stumbled, barely able to keep up as she dragged him through the house. “Hey, uh – *oof* – it’s nice to meet you, but isn’t this all moving a little – *woagh!* – fast?”
Akane shrugged as she pulled him through the dojo doors. “I guess you could say that, but I honestly can’t be bothered to do a slow introduction right now. Anyways, I assume you can fight, right?”
Ranma shrugged. “I guess you could say that. I have been training my whole life or something.”
Akane grinned. “Great! Take your ready stance, and we can begin!”
As Akane took her stance, Ranma simply stood there unmoving. She frowned, and backed off a little. “Oh, did you not want to spar? I guess I did kind of rush you into this.”
Ranma shook his head. “Nah, I’m ready. Just come at me when you want.”
He was taunting her?! That wouldn’t stand. Taking her stance again, she advanced aggressively, but not recklessly. As she closed the distance, Ranma remained unmoving.
If he thought she wasn’t going to be a threat just because she was a girl, then he had another thing coming. Channeling all of her stone-smashing strength, Akane delivered a swift punch directly into his gut.
For a moment, she was worried that Ranma might be fast enough to dodge her when her fist was right about to make contact. Much to her relief, contact indeed was made. That relief quickly faded as it felt like lightning coursed through her entire arm. Ranma stood there unflinching as Akane recoiled in pain. She had the power to smash through a solid boulder, but this guy’s abs were something else.
Akane saw red as she cradled her arm. “WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?!?!”
Ranma shrugged and flashed a toothy grin. “Why bother dodging an attack if it’s not gonna hurt you, right?”
Akane scowled. That’s it. This guy’s just a jerk. There’s no way I’m getting engaged to him, regardless of how cute he is. “In an official match, points are awarded based on contact, not damage.”
Ranma tilted his head. “Oh? Never done one of those before. I guess that means the round goes to you then, huh? Well fought. I can tell you’re no slouch.”
What? Was he trying to be nice now? “What are you talking about? You humiliated me!”
Ranma shook his head. “Nah, you just didn’t know my strengths. I saw you move. There’s no way I’d be able to keep up with your speed. If you aimed for something weaker, like my face, I’d go down in no time. If anything, you went easy on me.”
Akane paused. He… wasn’t wrong. Maybe he’s actually a nice guy? She let out a long sigh. “Fine. But let’s be clear, this round did go to you. Now c’mon, I should probably introduce you to the rest of my family.”
—
Returning to the living room, Akane found her sisters and father talking to a stout man with glasses. The strange panda was nowhere to be seen. Regardless, she figured she’d better seize the opportunity to get engaged to a cutie before Nabiki or Kasumi stole him from her. Interrupting their conversation, she made her bold proclamation. “Hey, Ranma and I have bonded through combat, so it’s definitely us who’re going to get engaged. Sorry Nabs, but you were a little slow with this one.”
Her father, Soun, turned to her, a huge smile on his face. “Oh, Akane! That’s wonderful news! In fact, I have some great news for you as well! I was just talking with Saotome here, and it turns out their cursed forms aren’t permanent! You’ll have a proper man for a husband after all!”
Akane blanched and slowly turned towards Ranma. “Is… is that true?”
Ranma shrank away from her a little, but before he had a chance to respond, Genma chimed in. “Oh, yeah. Just throw a little hot water on the boy, and his manhood will be restored in no time!”
Fueled by a mixture of dread and morbid curiosity, Akane snatched a teacup off of the table and dumped it on Ranma’s head. As the tea thoroughly soaked though his hair, Akane breathed a sigh of relief. He was still cute as a guy! His beautiful long locks remained intact, his face still had those soft features, and his chest was plenty appealing, with those small, yet noticeable… breasts.
As Akane’s brain scrambled to wrap her head around her fiance’s form, Nabiki bluntly stated the obvious. “Hey Genma, what’s the big idea? He clearly didn’t change.”
Genma adjusted his glasses. “Hrm… I see that. Perhaps the water wasn’t hot enough? Let’s get a proper boiling kettle going.”
At that, Ranma seemed to shrink even further into himself. “Well, uh, you see–”
Whatever ramblings he had planned were interrupted by a loud crash as something broke through their sliding door. The new figure rose to it’s feet, revealing a well-endowed girl with pink hair arranged into a couple of buns. She grabbed Genma by the collar, and thrust him against the wall. “What’s the big idea, pops? Did you honestly mix me up with Yoiko again?! We look nothing alike!”
From the new angle, Akane saw that she had a tail that matched her hair color. She must have been one of those cosplayers– Wait, no, the tail just stood up straight. Costume tails don’t do that. And were her buns twitching? Oh. They weren’t buns. They were ears. Cat ears.
Akane calmly asked a clarifying question. “ WHAT THE ABSOLUTE FUCK IS GOING ON?!?!?!”