Chapter Text
Akaashi Keiji didn’t know how to handle the three strangers living in his apartment.
Yes, he had left ads all over the campus hoping someone would answer, he just hadn’t expected to have three roommates within the week, and he hadn’t expected them to look like this.
The first person to contact him had been Kozume Kenma. He was Akaashi’s age, his parents lived at a two hour drive from the university and he needed to be closer, or that was what his parents said when they came to sign a contract. The guy didn’t talk a lot, but he had a job and seemed mostly harmless, the kind who wouldn’t miss out payments or bring drama home. Which was exactly the sort of person he wanted to share an apartment with. Kozume had rented half of the major room and then moved in (with a bunch of videogames and other gaming shit) within two days. He didn’t speak, he barely looked at Akaashi, which was both disconcerting and a relief.
The second one to become his roommate had been Bokuto Koutarou. Weird and loud were the first words that came to mind. When he'd come to check the place, he had been so excited by the view and the fact that it was in front of a park he literally agreed to rent right away. He didn’t have a job, but his parents had money and were supporting him. He got a solo room and dragged a bunch of paraphernalia that crowded their hall for a day and a half (photography stuff, weights and a sculpture of an owl, of all things). He had scared Kenma and made Akaashi tired just by looking at him, but he seemed a nice person and was friendly enough to make their landlord shut up.
The third and final person to answer his ads had been Kuroo Tetsurou. The guy wasn’t in college, but he was applying, currently had three jobs and needed to live somewhere where he would have an easier time moving around. Something about him made Akaashi feel a bit concerned, like he was being watched by a cat, a big and slightly creepy cat. On the other hand, the guy was really smart and had a steady income. He rented the other half of Kenma’s room, and unlike Bokuto he didn’t scare anyone. He brought all his stuff (not much, only two boxes and a duffel bag) the day he signed the contract.
This was their first weekend after they all had moved in, and weirdly enough everyone seemed to have thought it was a great idea to stay home at a Saturday night. Not that he usually left home on weekends, law school was very time consuming, but he had imagined at least Bokuto to be a more outgoing kind. Still, the guy was sitting on the living room floor with ridiculous headphones on and scribbling something on his notebook. Kuroo had arrived from work not long ago and then flopped face first on the couch, occupying it all. Kenma, on the other hand, was sitting on a corner near his bedroom’s door and playing with his DS.
Keiji had planned on spending a nice evening with indie music and his books on criminal law. Instead, he didn’t even seem to be able to get enough room on his couch to sit. He could go back to his room and lock himself inside, but he sort of wanted to see how the evening would develop (criminal law really wasn't much inviting, to be honest), so he walked over to Kuroo and poked his back.
“Excuse me, can I have some room?”
The other man mumbled something, staring at him for a few seconds before sitting up. He looked like someone had run him over with a truck. Akaashi wasn’t going to ask him about it though, it seemed like it wasn’t the sort of thing they had the intimacy to talk about. Bokuto, on the other hand, let his head fall back and peered at Kuroo.
“Which shift made you look like this?”
“I just got back from the delivery job, but I’m tired because of the Vet job. We got a new intern, this kid named Lev.”
“What's his problem?” Now Bokuto had completely forfeited whatever he was doing in favor of talking to Kuroo.
“He always arrives late and with a new cat for the shelter. And he is too self-confident, even if he has zero knowledge to back it up. I was trying to teach him how to give a dog bath, and he still hasn’t learned a thing.”
“Sounds though, dude.”
“Yeah, I can barely wait to find myself a sugar daddy and never work again.” Kuroo sighed, sliding to the floor.
Bokuto laughed and Akaashi might have smirked a bit as the loudest of his roommates perked up.
“I can be your sugar daddy!"
“No, you can’t, your parents pay for everything you need.” Came the really unexpected voice from Kozume on the other side of the room.
Kuroo laughed at the comment and turned to face him before turning back to Akaashi and Bokuto.
“I have an Idea. Since we are all home, perhaps we could play a round of Mario kart? Kenma owns a Wii, right?”
It was incredibly surprising that instead of running back to his room, like he did every time Bokuto or Akaashi tried to talk to him, when it was Kuroo Kozume just lowered his eyes a bit more.
“Maybe I do.”
“We all could have a gaming night, what do you think?”
Akaashi could see this working. He wasn’t particularly fond of living with people he didn’t even exchange words with - which might work for some, but Akaashi liked people, liked understanding them.
“That actually sounds good. I suppose my studies can wait for an hour or two.”
Bokuto threw his arms on the air, smile so bright it was impossible not to smile back to him.
“That’s super cool! Kenma, mind setting everything up? I’ll make us some popcorn and grab a few drinks.” He was already up and going to the kitchen, humming excitedly, too much so for the situation. Perhaps Bokuto didn’t have as many friends as Keiji had assumed.
“Akaashi, can you help me get everything?” Kozume didn't look at him while he spoke, but Akaashi followed him right away. The room was still pretty empty on Kuroo's side, he noticed, only sporting a new shelf full of classic literature. Kenma didn't say a word, just grabbed the console and wii motes before going back to the living room. Akaashi really didn't want to continue this almost radio silence, but what do you say to someone who barely shares five words before shutting you out?
"So, Kozume... You have a lot of controls. Your friends usually play with you?"
"No. My parents got me those so we could have family night. They didn't like it, though."
"Oh, I'm sorry."
Keiji was used to being a sort of disappointment to his parents, too. No matter how he tried, they just wanted so much from him. Family nights were inexistent in the Akaashi household.
"No, you're not. You're being polite."
"You're right."
"That's so cute, you two interacting." Kuroo's teasing voice came from behind them, and Keiji turned to stare at him, whose shit eating grin annoyed him more than he expected.
Bokuto came back then, handing glasses of soda to everyone and putting a bowl of popcorn on the middle of the coffee table.
"Let's start this! I'll kick all of your asses!"
Akaashi rolled his eyes and grabbed a remote. When in Rome do like the Romans, when in the middle of a bunch of videogame fans, play the freaking game.
-4-
"Akaaaaaashi!" Bokuto shouted from across the market shelf.
And Keiji regretted everything that had led up to this moment. He could trace it all back to his apartment not even half an hour ago. He had opened the fridge and faced his shelf's terrible emptiness. He had just gotten back from class, he wanted to eat and he couldn't avoid doing groceries anymore. Keiji was a responsible adult and that meant he needed to do his own shopping.
It was a surprise that both Kuroo's and Kozume's spaces were neatly arranged and full. When did these two find time for that? One was always out working or hanging in the weirdest positions reading books, the other barely left his room and didn't strike him like the kind of person who would willingly go shopping.
Bokuto had shown up as Akaashi stared at the fridge, complaining loudly he didn't have anything to eat while pulling an all night to finish a project.
And Akaashi Keiji had said the words, the stupid dreadful words that had led him to this moment. "Why don't we go together to the mini-market?"
And now here he was. Bokuto might only know Keiji for two weeks and a half, but he acted like it was actually years. He was literally running towards him with a bunch of candy in his arms.
"We can have this for the next gaming night!" He dropped them all in the cart, with a smile so wide it seemed painful.
"That's not happening anytime soon."
"Come on, Kenma can't still be angry I broke his wiimote! Kuroo was the one who used a fucking blue shell on me."
The night had been a disaster. Kozume had actually seemed shocked when it happened, and Kuroo had just stared at them with his eyes wide like he was watching a car crash.
"He actually said he was angry at you."
"But I bought him a new one!"
Keiji frowned at the vegetables in front of him. Kozume was still avoiding Bokuto and any mention of a gaming night made him freeze up. He didn't seem like the sort of person who would have such an attachment to a controller. Which meant-
"Have you remembered giving it to him?"
His roommate's eyes widened and he facepalmed.
"Shit! I forgot!"
He then proceed to sag, and lean his forehead against Akaashi's shoulder. It would have shocked him more if over these two weeks he hadn't learned Bokuto was a bit more attached to touching than it would be recommended. He patted the light hair twice before going back to picking potatoes.
"I'm the worst roommate..."
"No, you're not, Bokuto. I'm pretty sure there are worse roommates."
He shouldn't have tried to comfort, because now Bokuto was hugging him and positively beaming. Akaashi didn't blush, but he did freeze up. There were people staring at them, it was so embarassing. Still, he cold tell it would only be worse if he tried stopping Bokuto, he'd already seen what happened when this idiot felt no one liked him. Never again. It was too troublesome.
"Did you get everything you needed?"
The older man stepped back, thinking. He proceeded to start counting in his fingers, listing everything, which he obviously wasn't very successful at, as he seemed to get more and more annoyed. Akaashi took a deep breath and patted his roommate's shoulder.
"You got the candies, you got coffee, some frozen meals for the week. Did you get something to drink and some snacks?"
"I don't think so. Thanks, Akaashi!"
Another too bright and too sincere smile. Keiji couldn't stare at him when Bokuto did that, it was a bit like staring at the sun (a sun with weird owl eyes, but still). And as his roomate was off to grab the rest of his things Akaashi took his own list and proceeded to cross out some items.
After a few minutes waiting, though, Bokuto didn't come back and he started getting worried. If he lost Bokuto here, he was pretty sure the guy couldn't find his way back to their apartment, plus he would feel terrible. He wandered around the small store, looking after the guy, only to find him helping a little boy get some snacks from the top shelves. It was sort of adorable.
The kid's mom was watching as Bokuto picked up her son, and Akaashi stood there as well. The boy smiled so openly, and both of them seemed so pleased. It was very nice is different ways, specially seeing Bokuto's muscles at work. All these weights he had brought apparently were indeed being put to use.
"Akaashi!" The call took him from his revery, which he covered fairly well. He hoped.
"Yes, Bokuto?"
"Did you see how cool I am? The kid even called me a big brother!"
"Did he? I wasn't paying attention."
That was seemingly upsetting enough to earn very dramatic complaints. There was a giggle though, and they both stopped to stare at the woman and her son still standing behind them.
"You two are a very cute couple."
"Oh, we are not-" Bokuto started, but Keiji stopped him. It was no use overexplaining everything. They had already spent too much time here.
"Thank you. Let's go pay, Bokuto. Didn't you have to give Kozume the control you bought?"
And that was all his roommate needed to go back into overexcited mode. They said their goodbyes to mother and child and went together to pay for their groceries. Now Akaashi couldn't stop thinking that everyone who saw them thought they were a couple, and a cute one it seemed.
-3-
Everything had gone back to normal in their apartment. Bokuto had indeed given the control back to Kozume, who now had gone back to sharing environments with them.
Last night around three in the morning he'd had a strange conversation with Kuroo, though. It didn't seem liked a real thing that had happened, but it had. It had so happened, for so many hours, that now he was walking around like a fucking zombie.
He had scheduled to meet Kozume at the campus coffee shop, since neither of them had many friends and drinking coffee alone seemed like kind of a waste. He arrived a few minutes late, since some dude from his last class had managed to upset the teacher so much the man had given a twenty minute speech on the traditional family setting and why it was important that it be maintained. Akaashi didn't want to hear it, he just wanted to pass this hellish subject and move on.
Inside the coffee shop, he looked for his roommate for exactly fifty seconds before spotting the weirdest scene in his life.
Kozume Kenma was in line to get his coffee, with Bokuto of all people hugging him from behind and resting his chin on Kenma's hair. The smaller man was scratching the white hair with one hand and playing on his cellphone with the other.
The bizarre part was that it actually seemed very cute. Like, couple cute. It really hadn't occurred to him that those two could be together, and no matter he did find Bokuto hot, he would give them his whole support.
That was, when his mind finally accepted this was actually happening.
Bokuto spotted him first – of course he fucking did – and waved like an overexcited puppy (or baby bird, over excited baby bird was probably more on spot). Kozume looked up to Akaashi and back to his game, not paying him a lot of attention. He approached the couple (?), hands in his pockets and not looking at the people around him. Kozume did look at him then.
“We ordered your coffee already.”
“You did?”
“Yeah. You like yours black, with sugar and cinnamon, right? Kenma remembered it!” Bokuto seemed proud when he said so.
Keiji looked at Kozume who shrugged, seeming a bit embarrassed.
“Well, thanks. How much do I owe you guys?”
Kenma shrugged again. It was so hard to get a grasp of what he was really feeling, so Keiji just stood beside them as Bokuto narrated his day loudly enough so all the shop could hear. It was somewhat fascinating that he managed to remain blissfully unaware of everything. Eventually, it was their turn, and Akaashi grabbed the drinks to hand over - Bokuto's was one of those really fancy iced coffees and Kenma's was a simple hot beverage - and then they all sat at one of the corner table. Akaashi talked a bit about his classes, and nothing worth mentioning happened until Kozume looked up from his game to suddenly focus on him.
“Maybe you could stop calling me Kozume. No one calls me that.”
Akaashi stared at him for a few seconds before nodding and continuing to talk about his day, which was comforting, something he used to do with his family. Bokuto actually seemed interested, even asking questions.
Kenma wasn’t looking straight at him while he spoke, but every once in a while he would notice those hazel eyes glancing at him, shyly. Akaashi meant to ask if the two of them were together, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. Aside from the scene earlier today, nothing else in the way they acted indicated it. Bokuto actually stared at him a lot, with that smirk of his, and if he didn’t know better he'd think that the other was flirting. That was when Bokuto's cellphone beeped and, before Akaashi could even ask what was happening, the guy was out the door. Keiji sighed and ran his fingers through his hair.
“He is very troublesome.” Kenma added before taking another sip of his coffee. “And for some reason my friend Hinata thinks I’m dating him.”
“Really?” Akaashi hoped he hid well his own impression, then.
“Yes. I can see where he took that from, but it half annoys me that he hasn’t stopped.”
Keiji just nodded in sympathy. Between Kenma and himself there weren’t any sudden outbursts, their talks were very brief. Still, he liked to think that this wasn’t the weird silence of people who didn’t know each other, but the building up of trust.
-2-
“I can’t believe they talked us into this.” Kenma declared as they were walking to the station.
Akaashi was by his side, a bit behind Kuroo and Bokuto. They couldn’t afford to be too far behind, because then the two idiots would stop and come drag them along.
“I can’t either.”
The this in question was a house party. One of Bokuto’s classmates had invited him, and he'd obviously invited all of his roommates as well. Kuroo had only been too happy to accept, had even managed to get someone to cover for him at work. Kenma and Akaashi had both refused, but then Bokuto made puppy eyes and Kuroo promised that the moment the two wanted to leave all of them would. And they had ended up here.
When they arrived at the station, Kuroo turned back with a smile - an actual smile, not even a smirk.
“I’m really glad you guys joined us.”
Keiji did his best to maintain his uninterested pose, even though he could see that this was the sort of things people would blush at (Kozume had at least). He just stared.
“You still owe us one, Pain-in-the-ass-Kuroo-san.”
“Geez, Akaashi. And I thought you were the chill, polite one.”
He just sneered, and then got distracted when Bokuto shouted that their train was there. They hopped in, Kuroo and Kenma sitting side by side and Akaashi and Bokuto sitting opposite from them. He watched as Kuroo babbled on and Kenma played on his phone. Akaashi was starting to seriously worry about the frequency with which the word 'adorable’ came to his mind when watching his roommates. It was sort of creepy. They weren’t even that cute.
“So, the party isn’t actually at this dude’s house, but at his “friend’s” house. Like, everyone knows they are banging, but Oikawa takes the closet to a whole new level.” Bokuto declared very loudly. “Everyone is going.”
“Everyone?”
“Yeah. Everyone from economy, I bunch of dance majors, and some other guys.”
“I hate crowded places.”
“Give it a chance.”
He rolled his eyes, and looked away.
The party was a at an apartment, actually a quite big apartment, and there were indeed a lot of people there. Some of them were familiar faces, people he had crossed paths with during his time in the campus. Barely three minutes had passed when a red haired blur jumped on Kenma, his smile too bright to be sober.
“Kenma! You came! Let’s go! Let’s drink!” He then turned to the rest of them. “Bokuto!”
“Hey, Hinata!”
“Do you mind if I steal Kenma for a while?”
“Not at all. Just bring him back safely.”
So this was the friend that thought they were together, then. Hinata looked at Kuroo and then at Akaashi, frowned a bit before the smile was back. Kenma waved at them and said he would be back, then was dragged away by the bubbly guy. It would be worrisome, if he didn't know Kenma could get away from anyone at anytime. Kuroo did shout a ‘scream if you need help’ and Keiji was 100% sure that Kenma would rather suffer through the rest of the night in silence than make such a fuss.
Not even half a minute later a handsome guy approached them, movie villain vibe all around him: queer and prone to too much self love.
“Bokuto, you came! And you weren’t lying when you said your roommates were hot.”
“Shittykawa, don’t hit on people you don’t even know the name of.” Another guy showed up, this one also very handsome, though in a I-could-bench-press-all-of-you kind of way.
Bokuto hooked his arm on Kuroo’s waist, pulling him closer, and promptly grabbed Akaashi’s arm, forcing him to stand next to them.
“This one is Akaashi Keiji, he’s sort of our landlord, goes to law school.”
The two guys waved at him. The pretty one making a comment about how he was almost as pretty – Akaashi refrained from commenting that he was definitely prettier. It seemed kind of petty considering this was probably the guy’s party.
“And this piece of eye-candy is Kuroo. He's like the most amazing guy ever.”
“Lies. You're the definition of a cool son of gun, Bokuto.”
Keiji rolled his eyes, and was about to bail to some dark corner and try to see if he could get the wifi password when the muscular guy turned to him.
“Akaashi, right? Can you help me get some things from the kitchen?”
He nodded and followed the man, letting Kuroo and Bokuto to their shenanigans. The man introduced himself as Iwaizumi Hajime and was actually a pleasant company. He took Keiji to some other people who were like him: not so loud but still witty enough, then eventually left saying something about having to check on Shittykawa.
Akaashi himself made sure he could keep his roommates in sight. Kenma and the red haired kid were drinking and talking, alongside a too tall and lanky boy and a too intense looking one. It was sort of weird to see Kozume in an environment like that, and even weirder to see him actually drinking. Bokuto and Kuroo on the other hand he wasn’t surprised at all to see guzzling down shot after shot, getting into several drinking games and talking to basically everyone at the party. Rarely stepping away from each other, though. Keiji drank too, Iwaizumi had gotten him some wine and he just might have drank the whole bottle by himself.
Some undefined time later Kenma showed up next him, right in the middle of a stare off with this guy named Mattsun.
“Akaashi, can we talk?”
“Yeah, sure.” He followed the smaller boy, wine bottle still held in a hand, and slight worry intruding his haze. Kenma got them a couch to sit on and they dropped there. “Any problem?”
“No. Hinata and Kageyama passed out, and Lev is trying to outdrink some dude.”
“I see… Wanna go home?”
“No.” Kenma reached over and grabbed the wine bottle, taking two hearty gulps of it before handing it back. “No trains at this time.”
“True.” He took another sip of the wine.
Suddenly there was a commotion, apparently someone had changed the music and many were loudly complaining about "that hipster bullshit". Even with all that mess, Akaashi could see clearly Bokuto pulling Kuroo to the middle of the open space used as the dance floor, both laughing and obviously drunk. The song started slow, and they matched it, weirdly like something out of a romantic movie. As the song got a bit more agitated, they smiled and kept going, Bokuto’s hands on Kuroo’s, eyes staring deep at each chorus. They were in a moment that seemed completely theirs, spinning one another, their noses bumping, and Akaashi couldn’t decide if he would rather kiss them or watch them dancing together forever. When the song ended, the two stared at each other some more, and for a moment a kiss seemed like the natural progress of the whole scene. Instead, both men just started giggling and Bokuto hid his face on Kuroo’s neck.
Akaashi turned to look at Kenma and realized they were both smiling.
He was crushing on his roomates, and he was fucked.
-
There were many nights he couldn’t sleep.
He hated law school, but there wasn’t anything he was particularly interested in, so it was as good as anything else. Still, he felt like he should be doing something different. This was his life, though it didn’t feel like he was in control of it, he felt like he was just watching it pass. Bokuto was going to be a photographer, because that was his passion, Kenma was finishing his game app project, Kuroo had his three jobs and his dream to prove everyone wrong. The comparison hurt a bit, so sometimes he would just sit on the floor of their living room, a mug of tea in his hands, and try to calm down.
More often than not, in nights like these, Kuroo would show up.
Sometimes arriving from some late shift, other times coming out of his room. Today, it was one of the later. The man appeared at the door, dressed in a too large red sweater and pink leggings. It was annoying how he managed to look stylish even like that.
“Can’t sleep again?” He asked, sitting next to Akaashi.
Keiji didn’t reply at first, just taking another sip of his tea.
“I could ask the same.”
“I was studying, though I may have passed out in the middle of a chemistry exercise.”
“Want some help?”
“Nah. I can do it, just find it boring as fuck.”
There was silence for a while, before Keiji gave up and leaned his shoulder against Kuroo’s arm.
“I hate it.”
“What? Chemistry?” The other man asked, typical smirk curling his lips.
“No, this feeling. Like my life will always be a disappointment to everyone.” He didn’t know why he told Kuroo that, but it felt like he wouldn't judge, no matter how much a pain in the ass he was.
“Well, I for one don’t think you’re a disappointment.” It seemed honest, though with an undercurrent that Keiji couldn't quite understand.
“Yeah, because you know me so well.”
He couldn’t contain the sarcasm, it was a bit too late in the evening for that. Kuroo sighed and let his head fall back before speaking up.
“Can I tell you a story?”
“Go ahead, not like I got anything better to do.”
“I was fourteen when I came out. I told my mom, and my mom is great, so she was fully supportive. She’s really great. My dad, though, my dad looked me in the eyes and said I wasn’t his son anymore, that he would go to jail but I wouldn’t have another penny of his. He said I disgusted him and I was a disappointment. My dad, the guy who used to play with me, who laughed at my jokes and hugged me. The guy who even after he and my mom got divorced never missed one visitation day. He hated me, and I felt like I was the worst person ever.”
“I haven’t even told my parents yet.”
“You don’t have to. That was not what I was getting at.”
“And what was that?”
“I was going to talk about how my mom made me realize, even if it took four years, that it wasn’t my fault my dad was disappointed, it was his fucking fault. You don’t have to be what everyone else is. And dude, come on, you’re an amazing person. How many people would have your grades while studying something they don’t even care about?”
He couldn’t help but stare while Kuroo spoke, there was just so much honesty packed in there. He might have blushed a little, only a little, and hid his face on the other’s shoulder. Kuroo actually hugged him, chuckling a bit as he did so.
“No need to get so embarrassed, I know a compliment from me was all you ever wanted.”
Akaashi didn’t even try to contain the impulse to punch Kuroo's side, who groaned and fell to the floor, dragging Keiji along with him. He wanted to complain, to call the other a pain in the ass and hit him one more time, because they'd been having a very nice moment and Kuroo’s ridiculous sense of humor had ruined everything. Except, when he moved to say that to his face, he realized what a cliché scene they were in right now, Akaashi laying on top of Tetsurou, their faces so bizarrely close.
Nope, he was not going to do this. Not at all.
Keiji pushed himself away, rolling to the side and staring at the ceiling. He prayed in his mind that no one had noticed how he had almost... Almost kissed Kuroo. What was he thinking? It wouldn’t be fair, he was sort of their landlord, and he'd only known them for a month and a half-
“Hey, Akaashi.”
He turned to look at Kuroo who was… Blushing? He just stared some more. Tetsurou smiled at him, and Akaashi wouldn’t say it aloud but those genuine smiles of his were something he would like to frame. He turned to lay on his side, so he could look at that for a little longer.
“Yes?”
“You’re really pretty, you know that?”
“I actually do.”
And again silence. Kuroo’s gaze hopped accross his face, stopping at his lips for a moment. And he realized he wanted it, wanted something more to happen. Perhaps because the last person he'd kissed had been some dude in a party eight months ago, but Akaashi was rusty, and it took him ten seconds to realize Kuroo wouldn’t be the one making a move. The other obviously had noticed the vibe, so why wouldn’t he go for it? Keiji slowly moved closer, his hand touching the other’s cheek, his thumb caressing it. Neither of them said a word. He moved closer and closer until their lips were touching.
It wasn’t an intense kiss, it was nothing that would shake the foundations of the world. It was just perfect for the moment, slow but responsive, so he closed his eyes and he let it guide him. There were tongues and there were hands touching his hair and pulling him a bit closer.
Just as subtly as it had started, Akaashi moved back. He blinked a few times at Kuroo, who smiled openly and arched an eyebrow.
“Guess I’m pretty too.”
Keiji didn’t reply, instead rolling his eyes and sitting up.
“I have to sleep.” He said, not quite to his roommate, just to the almost empty room.
“Can I have a goodnight kiss at least?”
He stared at the man laying on the ground, perhaps a bit too annoyed by his teasing, got up and went back to his room. When he closed his door, Akaashi rested his forehead on the wood.
He couldn’t shake the feeling he had just set something in motion, and he had no idea where it was going.