Archive of Our Own

Charlie sat on her bed staring at the envelope. Her girlfriend, Vaggie, sat beside her, holding her hand. “How you feeling?”

“So nervous. What if they don’t want to see me? What if they don’t want anything to do with me?! What if they do? What if they want to meet me? You know how hurt Dad is gonna be?”

She nodded. “I know. We talked about it. We talked all of this through before you even reached out to the adoption agency about them.” She squeezed her hand. “Are you having second thoughts? If you’ve changed your mind, we can just throw it away and act like this never happened.”

Charlie shook her head. “No. I WANT to know.” And yet she couldn’t reach for the envelope.

“You want me to open it for you?” Vaggie offered.

She looked at her girlfriend, hope in her eyes. “Would you?”

She smiled. “Of course, babe.” She let go of her hand and grabbed the envelope. She tore it open and pulled out the letter. She read over it slowly. She looked up at Charlie. “You ready?”

Charlie took a deep breath and nodded. “Yeah.”

Vaggie smiled. “It says he wants to meet you.”

***

Charlie hated lying to her dad, but she knew how hurt he’d be if she told him about being in contact with her birth father. They started out exchanging emails; simple, get-to-know-you questions. Charlie learned that her birth mom had died in labor bringing her into the world. Her birth father had every intention of raising her. Lucifer had gotten his girlfriend pregnant at sixteen. They had decided they were going to keep her and raise her together, but when Lillith hadn’t made it through the delivery, he knew he couldn’t raise her on his own, so he put her up for adoption.

“I’ve never stopped thinking about you though,” he told her in one of his emails. It was true. Every day, he wondered who she was and what her life was like.

He smiled as he read over her last email. She sounded like she was happy. She was a senior, set to graduate as valedictorian that June. She had a girlfriend she’d been dating since they were Freshmen. He chuckled to himself when she told him about Vaggie; at least she wasn’t going to accidently knock HER girlfriend up the way HE had when he was in high school.

His thoughts turned to his late girlfriend. Lilith was beautiful. He’d wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. He was gonna be the best dad and eventually husband the world had ever seen. He looked at the drawer at his desk. The ring was still there. He didn’t want to propose JUST because they were having a baby. Hell, they were sixteen and seventeen at the time. It wasn’t even an expensive ring; he’d maybe spent maybe fifty bucks on it. He didn’t know why he still had it. Eighteen years later and he was still in love with her.

His eyes drifted back to the email. ‘I’d love to meet you! If and when you’re ready.’ He read the line over and over. Was he ready? It was almost two decades ago that he’d last seen her. He remembered being in the delivery room. He held Lilith’s hand. “You’ve got this,” he assured her for probably the fiftieth time. He brushed her blond hair from her sweaty brow. He smiled down at her. “I love you, Lil.”

Her eyes fluttered as she breathed heavily. “I love you, too.”

“One more hard push,” the doctor ordered.

Lucifer tightened his grip on her hand. “Come on, baby. You can do this.”

She closed her eyes and cried out as she pushed one last time.

“And here she is!” the doctor called out as she lifted the infant.

Lucifer looked over at her, the biggest smile he’d ever had with tears in his eyes. “You did it, baby! She’s beautiful!” He turned to look at her. His smile disappeared. “Baby. Lillith?” Her eyes had fluttered closed. Then the machines she was connected to began to wail. He was pushed out of the way while their baby was placed in a tiny plastic crib.

“Get the cart!”

“Cart?” he questioned as he watched the doctor and nursing staff jump into action. “What’s going on?! Lil!”

“Get him out of here!”

“Baby! No!”

He didn’t know how long he’d waited to hear anything. And after they’d told him the news, that the love of his life was gone, he couldn’t even look at his baby. It wasn’t HER fault; he KNEW that, but it didn’t change that every time he looked at her sweet little face, all he saw was his now dead girlfriend.

He gave her the name Charlotte, just like he and Lillith had agreed, but that was the last he saw of her. Now, eighteen years later, she wanted to see him again. They’d exchanged pictures; she looked so much like her mother. But if he were to see her in person… His fingers hovered over the keyboard. He was nervous. He typed and hit send before he could change his mind.

‘I’d love to see you!’

Now all he could do was wait.

***

“Thank you for coming with me,” Charlie said to her girlfriend.

“Of course, babe. You know I’d do anything for you.” She kissed her cheek.

Every time the door opened to the café, Charlie’s heart beat harder. When he finally came through the door, she was sure her heart had stopped. He was shorter than she’d imagined, but otherwise, he looked exactly like the pictures he’d sent. She saw so much of herself in him. It was strange to her to see someone who she looked like. She loved her dad dearly, but being able to look across the room at someone who she shared features with felt different.

He finally caught her eyes and he smiled. “Charlie?” he asked as he moved toward them.

She stood up. “Hey… D-d-dad?”

He threw his arms around her. “God! It’s so good to finally meet you!” He pulled away, resting his hands on her shoulders. “You look so much like your mom.” His smile softened. “I wish you could have met her. You would have loved her.”

Charlie smiled. “I’m sure I would have. You, uh, want a drink?”

“I’ll get something in a bit.” He sat down with them. “You must be Vaggie.”

“That I am. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

He smiled at her. “You too. I’m glad Charlie has someone like you.” He took a deep breath as he turned back to Charlie. “I’m so happy to finally get to meet you.”

She smiled back at him. “You said that,” she replied awkwardly.

He chuckled. “Sorry. I’m just… This is just really great.”

“It is.” She paused. “Tell me about my mom?”

He smiled. “She was beautiful. She was… She had the most amazing voice. I was looking forward to hearing her sing lullabies to you. It was probably the first thing I fell in love with about her. And she had long blond hair. I, uh, brought a few pictures for you.” He opened his jacket and pulled out a couple of photographs. “That was our junior prom.” He chuckled. “She almost didn’t want to go. She wasn’t that far along at that point, but she was still worried everyone would be able to tell. But I wanted to go.”

Charlie looked at the second picture. “That was the day before you were born,” he told her. “I-I was looking forward to meeting you.” He got quiet. “Lilith would have made an amazing mom. We were gonna stay in school, we only had the one more year. I was working. I was gonna move in with her parents. They were gonna help us with… With raising you while we finished school. You would have liked your grandparents too. They were amazing people.”

“Are they… Not around anymore?” she asked hesitantly.

He shook his head. “They passed a few years back. Within weeks of each other. Not surprised, I mean, it’s hard to hold on when the love of your life is gone. And they had nearly fifty years together.” He chuckled. “Lil and I had only been together a little less than three years and I felt like I was gonna die once she was gone.” He swallowed hard, holding back tears. “We were gonna raise you together. But without her I just…”

Charlie reached across the table and took hold of his hands. “I don’t blame you. I understand what you did. Besides, I have a great family. A wonderful dad and… My mom was great. I think you’d have liked her.”

He smiled. “I’m sure I would have. I’d have liked to have thanked her for giving you a happy life. I’d love to meet your dad and tell him that too.”

Charlie bit her lip. She pulled her hands away. “Um, yeah, about that… Um, my dad doesn’t actually know… That I’m here… Meeting with you.”

Lucifer blinked at her in surprise. “You mean, he doesn’t know you contacted me?”

“No,” she answered embarrassed.

“Are you kidding me!?”

“I don’t know how my dad would feel if he knew I’d reached out to you,” she explained. “I didn’t want him to feel betrayed or hurt.”

He sighed. “You HAVE to tell him.”

“I-I know. And I WILL. I promise. I just… I wanted to meet you first.”

Lucifer sighed. “I get it. If the roles were reversed, if I were in his shoes, I could see him being hurt and upset.” He sighed. “But you need to tell him, please, Charlie.”

She nodded. “I will.”

***

Sitting down with her dad to tell him about meeting her birth father wasn’t something she was looking forward to. Alastor looked at her with concern when she sat him down. “Is everything alright, sweetheart?”

“Yes,” she told him confidently. “Everything is okay. I just… I needed to tell you something.”

He nodded. “Alright. Go on.”

“Please, don’t be mad at me.”

“I will NOT promise you that, princess,” he replied. “I will keep my temper, but I cannot promise that what you’re about to tell me won’t upset me.”

“That’s fair.” She took a deep breath. “I contacted the adoption agency so I could get in contact with my birth parents.”

Alastor sat back, blinking in surprise. “Oh.”

“I’m really sorry.”

“Why?”

Charlie paused. “Um, why am I sorry?”

“Why did you want to contact them?” he clarified.

“I don’t know… I just… I wanted to know where I came from. And I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want you to be hurt.”

He nodded. “Well, I will admit that I am.” He reached over and took her hand. “But I understand exactly why you needed to do this. And you say you’ve been in contact with them?”

She nodded. “We’ve been exchanging emails and I met him in person yesterday.”

“Just him?”

She sighed. “My birth mom died in child birth. It’s why he put me up for adoption. They were in high school and they planned to raise me, but… When she passed, he just couldn’t bear to do it on his own.”

Alastor smiled and rested his hand on her cheek. “Well, I’m grateful for that. I’m sorry to hear about your birth mother, but… I am truly grateful to have you as my daughter. And I have no problem with you continuing a relationship with him if you so choose.”

“Really?”

He smiled at her. “Of course, not. He is your father. In fact, I… I would like to meet him.”

Charlie was even more surprised. “Really?”

He nodded. “He is a part of you. Of course, I would. Perhaps we could have him over for dinner.”

“Yeah?!”

He smiled at her and nodded. “I think it would be delightful.”

Alastor did NOT think it would be delightful. He was more than just hurt. He was more than upset. He was ANGRY. He went out with his best friend, Vox, to talk it over. “She did this behind my back,” he explained to him as he took another large sip from his drink. “If she had told me she wanted to find them initially, I might have been-”

“Understanding? No, you wouldn’t have,” Vox interrupted. “I know you. You would have still been hurt. I know how much that kid means to you.”

Alastor sighed. “I just feel betrayed. Have I not been a good father to her?”

“You’ve been a great dad, Alastor. No one can say any different. And you mean the world to Charlie. But you gotta understand where she’s coming from.”

He looked over at him. “Aren’t you supposed to be on MY side?”

Vox chuckled. “I am, old friend. Trust me. Just don’t be too hard on her. She loves you with everything she’s got. You know she does.”

He sighed again. He knew Vox was right. Charlie was his little girl. She was a daddy’s girl through and through, but it scared him that she had options on who could take that role as ‘daddy’. As he laid in bed later that night, he thought about his late wife. How would Rosie have acted at this news?

Rosie had been the one to initially suggest adding to their family. They were on the sofa, binge watching one of their favorite shows, curled up in each other. Quite suddenly, she grabbed the remote and paused the tv. Alastor looked at her in question. Rosie took a deep breath and said, “I need to talk to you about something.”

“Is everything alright?” he asked in concern.

She nodded. “Oh, yeah, everything is fine.” She paused, nervous about going on. Alastor remained silent, waiting for her to continued. She sighed. “I want a baby.”

Alastor blinked at her in surprise. “Oh!”

“I know, I know, we’ve never really talked about it. I just naturally assumed it wasn’t something we were ever going to need or want to talk about. It’s not like YOU and I can have a baby together. And that’s honestly why I haven’t wanted to say anything at all! I didn’t want you to feel like it was YOUR fault.”

Alastor raised his brow. “Wouldn’t it be YOUR fault for marrying a trans man?” he teased, trying to lighten the mood. He quickly learned it was the wrong thing to say when his wife burst into tears. “Oh, no, no, no! I was joking, darling!” He pulled her into his arms. “I’m so sorry, love!”

“I want us to have a family, Alastor!”

“We can, love, we can!”

“But I can’t have YOUR child! And that hurts so much!”

“It’s alright, darling,” he assured her, holding her as close as he could and petting her hair soothingly. “It’s alright.” He let her sob into his chest while he gathered his thoughts. “I’m sorry I can’t give you a child in the way you want. But there ARE options,” he reminded her. “Surrogacy and donors. Or we could even adopt.”

Rosie’s tears had slowed to sniffles. “I want to have YOUR baby, though, Alastor.”

He understood her feelings. If he could, he’d give her a hundred children. He’d come out as a trans man when he was fifteen, he’d been living as a man his entire adult life. It was moments like these that reminded him what he was assigned at birth and it angered him so. As angry as he was about the situation, he knew those emotions wouldn’t help them find a solution, so he pushed his anger aside to focus on what they could do in that very moment.

“Not all families are built the same. I think everyone we know pretty much doesn’t have a ‘traditional’ family. Vox and his husband Val have been fostering. Vox was even telling me that they were considering putting in to legally adopt one of their kids. And there’s your friend, Carmilla, she’s been with Zestial so long her two little girls think of him as their dad.” He rubbed her back. “Maybe we can’t have a family in the way we’re ‘supposed’ to, but that doesn’t mean we can’t have a beautiful family.”

Rosie sniffled and nodded. She looked up at her husband. “I love you so much, Alastor.”

He smiled down at her and stroked her face with the back of his hand. “I love you more.”

He looked over at the other side of the bed as he remembered that conversation. He reached over and touched the pillow where she would have laid her head. It had been thirteen years since he’d lost his beloved, and he still slept on the one side of the bed, too heartbroken to no longer leave a place for her. She would have been happy that Charlie wanted to reach out to her birth parents; he knew it in his heart of hearts that’s how his late wife would have felt. He took a deep breath. He was determined to honor his wife by being happy for their daughter in the choice she had made.

***

“Holy shit! How did your dad take it?” Angel asked while he and his sister, Vaggie, and her girlfriend shared a joint between them in his room.

“He was pretty calm about it. I thought he was gonna have an aneurysm, but he was cool and collected. He said he wanted to meet him.”

“You sure that’s a good idea?” he asked, handing the rolled paper to Vaggie. “I mean, wouldn’t it be weird to have your two worlds collide like that?”

“I think it’s a great idea,” Vaggie countered. “It gets it all out in the open and puts everyone on the same level.”

Angel shook his head. “I think it’s insane.” He looked at Charlie. “So, when you and new daddy getting together next? Or is he old daddy? Oh! Or maybe first daddy!” He laughed at his own joke.

“I just call him Lucifer,” Charlie told him. Though, she wouldn’t admit to him that she often called him ‘dad’ as well. She accepted the blunt from Vaggie and took a deep drag on it. She coughed a little before giving it to Angel. “He actually wants me to go with him to this flea market thing in the next town over. Just a day trip. I think it’ll be a lot of fun.”

Angel met his sister’s eyes, but said nothing. They’d talked about it already. She knew Angel was concerned, but she didn’t see what he was seeing as a problem. “I just don’t want Charlie getting hurt!” he argued with her.

“She’s fine. She’s a grown-ass adult! She can make her own decisions.”

“So, you don’t think it’s a little weird, at all, that this guy is hanging around trying to integrate himself into Charlie’s life?”

“He’s just trying to get to know her. Ya know, like a good dad should.”

“That fucker ain’t her dad and you know it!” Angel argued. “The same way Val and Vox are MY dad’s. The asshole who I happen to share DNA with is NOT my dad and he never will be! Same thing here. ALASTOR is Charlie’s dad, NOT this guy.”

“You think I don’t think of our dads as MY dads too? I was way younger than YOU were when I came to live with them. I don’t even remember my old family. I get where Charlie is coming from. There’s a part of her that just wants to know where she comes from.”

Angel took a deep breath. “You’re right, I DO remember my family from before Dad and Pops adopted me. And I hate every fucking thing about it. But I choose to look to my future rather than think about the past. You and Charlie should do the same.”

***

Alastor arranged dinner, unhappy as he was about it, but Charlie seemed thrilled. Her happiness was all that really mattered to him. She, of course, asked if she could bring Vaggie along for dinner. There was a part of Alastor that wanted to keep this meet and greet dinner between just him, his daughter, and her birth father, but if he was completely honest, having more people there as a buffer would be nice. Seeing as Vaggie’s family was like their own, Alastor invited them as well.

Vox was helping him prepare dinner while Val played a card game with the kids in the living room. “You nervous?” Vox asked him.

“Not at all. I’m as happy as can be,” he snidely remarked.

Vox rolled his eyes, but he smiled at him. “You know, you get bitchy when you’re on edge.”

“Really? I’ve never noticed.” He and Vox laughed. It was nice to be able to laugh even in spite of it feeling like his entire life was imploding. He sighed. “Am I expected to like him? Am I expected to hate him? I know Charlie will want me to like him.”

“Whatever you end up feeling about him is going to be completely valid. He’s someone important to your daughter, but he’s also someone you don’t know.” He paused, getting a little quieter as he continued, “You know, Angel’s dad came around not too long ago looking for him.”

Alastor looked over at him. “You didn’t tell me that!”

He shrugged. “Val didn’t want to make a big deal of it. I think he didn’t want anyone to know that Angel was dealing with something like that. It kind of fucked him up for a couple of months.” He turned his attention to slicing tomatoes as he went on. “Angel really felt like it made him a shitty person if he couldn’t forgive him.” He looked up at Alastor. “And you know all the shit that guy put him through, but Angel, sweet kid that he is, really wrestled with it. But I stood by him. It hurt seeing him try to have a relationship with the man again even when I knew how it was gonna end.” He paused. “That’s what makes you a great dad, Al, you support Charlie, no matter what.”

He sighed. He knew he was right, but he still didn’t like the idea of Charlie’s birth father trying to make a place in her life.

“That’s draw four, bitch!” Angel yelled playfully as he laid his card down.

“You little punk!” Val laughed. He searched through his cards. “Now, I can play a draw four if I have one, right?”

“House rules,” Vaggie answered with a nod.

He sighed. “Well, I would if I had one.” He drew four cards.

There was a light knock on the door. If they hadn’t all been quiet in the moment, they might have missed it. Charlie shot out of her seat. “That’s him! I’ll get it.”

Val looked at his daughter, Vaggie. “You’ve met him, right?”

“Yeah. He’s a pretty cool dude.”

Angel scoffed. Val looked over at him. “You haven’t met him, have you, kiddo?”

He crossed his arms, pouting. “No, I haven’t.”

“We reserve judgement until we get to know people, you know that,” he reminded him kindly. He too was anxious though. They’d had birth parents come and go in their lives since they’d started fostering. Charlie seeking out her birth parents could end in only one of two ways and he feared for the worst. His husband was Alastor’s closest friend, he’d been named Charlie’s godfather the moment she came into their lives. For all intents and purposes, she and their children were akin to being cousins.

Charlie answered the door and smiled. “Hey!” she greeted him excitedly.

He smiled warmly at her. It didn’t matter how many times he saw her, each time felt magical. “Hey,” he replied. “I hope it’s okay, I thought I’d bring some wine to share.” He held up the bottle in his hand. “I mean, obviously, not with YOU, I meant, you know, me and your dad and whoever else he invited.” He nervously chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck. “I mean, whoever else he invited who can drink, that is. Cause, ya know, uh, you’re not supposed to drink before you’re twenty-one. Not that I’m judging you if you have. I mean, I know I went to my fair share of parties when I was in school and got into things I shouldn’t have.” He paused. “Uh, not that you want to hear about that.” He chuckled again sheepishly.

Charlie smiled and pulled him into a hug. “I’m so glad you’re here!” She pulled away. “And, yes, it’s totally fine. Dad will actually think it’s a really kind gesture.” She grabbed his free hand. “Come on in.” He closed the door behind him as he stepped inside. She pulled him into the living room. “Hey! Everyone! I want you to meet Lucifer, my birth dad. Dad, uh, you’ve met my girlfriend Vaggie, this is her brother, Angel, and their Pops, Val.”

Lucifer’s heart was pounding like crazy. There were so many people there. He smiled. “Nice to meet you all.”

Valentino stood and moved toward him. He offered him his hand. “It’s lovely to finally meet you. Charlie has had nothing but good things to say about you.”

“Well, she’s a pretty swell kid.”

“Yeah, ‘cause she’s got a pretty swell dad,” Angel chimed it.

Valentino turned to his son. “Angel, se amable (be nice),” he warned quietly.

He crossed his arms and looked away. “Whatever.”

Valentino turned back to Lucifer. “I’ll just let Alastor know you’re here.” He disappeared into the other room.

Lucifer looked at Angel and offered a kind smile. “It’s really nice to meet you. Vaggie mentioned she had a brother. I didn’t know I was gonna meet you tonight.”

“Yeah, well, I’d rather be out with my boyfriend, but my dads insisted I break plans with him so I could be here for this charade of a family dinner,” he quipped. He stood up. “Ya know, family? The people you CHOOSE to be related to.” He looked at Charlie and Vaggie. “I’m gonna go wash up for dinner.” He left the room agitated.

Lucifer was taken aback. What could he have possibly done in the sixty seconds he’d been there to upset him? Charlie patted his arm. “Don’t be offended. Angel just gets defensive when he’s concerned.”

“What’s he concerned about?”

Charlie looked down shyly, tucking some hair behind her ear. “Just about, ya know…”

“Oh, right.” He knew he shouldn’t feel offended. Anyone with any common sense would be cautious about their situation. He smiled. “I’m sure he’ll warm up to me.”

Charlie nodded in agreement. “Me too.”

Valentino stepped into the kitchen. “Hey, Charlie’s… Whatever he is, he’s here.”

Alastor turned to him. His heart pounding insanely against his chest. Vox patted him on the shoulder. “You got this.”

He took a deep breath. “I know. Thank you.” He took one more deep breath before he made his way to the living room. His breath was taken away when he saw the shorter man standing next to his daughter, his arm wrapped around her like that was his place. Why did it hurt so much to see him standing there beside her? She looked so much like him. They had the same blond hair and rosy cheeks. She was taller than he was, she obviously must have gotten her height from her mother. But there was no mistaking that this man was the man who sired her. He smiled and approached him. “Evening! I’m Alastor, Charlie’s… Dad.”

Lucifer disentangled himself from their daughter. He smiled and offered his hand to him. “It’s wonderful to finally meet you. I’m Lucifer, Charlie’s… her birth father,” he added quietly, almost as though he were ashamed. He cleared his throat. “I brought a bottle of wine.” He offered it to him.

Alastor accepted it. “Thank you. Oh, um, might I introduce you to Vox, my closest friend and Charlie’s godfather.”

“It’s really nice to meet you,” he offered with a polite smile.

“And you already met his husband, Val. Their daughter Vaggie and… Where’s Angel?”

“Throwing a tantrum,” Vaggie mumbled.

Valentino looked at her sternly. “Vaggie, eso es sufieciente (that is enough).”

Angel stepped back into the room. “That sucks, Vaggie gets yelled at and I’m not even in the room to enjoy it.”

It was now Vox’s turn to play the stern parent. “Angel, don’t, please.” Even with the please, his tone made it obvious it was NOT a request.

Angel looked down. “Sorry.”

“Well, food is ready,” Alastor said, changing the subject to try and change the tension in the room.

Lucifer felt completely out of place sitting at the table with his daughter and her family. Of course, when he’d said he wanted to meet her dad, he meant it. He just didn’t realize he was going to meet her ENTIRE family. Fortunately, everyone was polite; it was obvious everyone was trying to be on their best behavior. That was, everyone except Angel, of course, who seemed to try to be as difficult as he possibly could without getting into trouble.

Alastor tried not to say much, every time he looked over at the man, he thought he might burst into tears. He was Charlie’s father; it was evident. He was just grateful his wife was no longer with them; it would likely break her heart to see how much she looked like the man.

“So, what do you do, Lucifer?” Vox asked, trying to cover up an awkward silence that seemed to have found its way into the flow of conversation.

“Oh, I’m a vet technician.”

“Nice. You like it?”

He smiled. “I do. Lilith and I had planned to do the program together.”

“Lillith?”

“Charlie’s mom.”

“BIRTH mom,” Angel pointed out.

Lucifer smiled awkwardly. “That’s what I meant. Charlie’s birth mom.” He paused and looked at Alastor. “Charlie told me you lost your wife when she was little. My condolences.”

“Thank you. You as well. Charlie told me about… About her. Lilith, I mean. I am sorry for your loss.”

He smiled. “I think you would have liked her,” he commented back. He looked over at Charlie, that same smile still on his face. “You look so much like her.”

Charlie blushed. “Thanks.”

Lucifer turned back to Alastor. “So, what made you and your wife decide to adopt?”

“We couldn’t have children of our own since I’m trans,” he told him plainly.

“Oh. Oh!” he said as if just realizing exactly what Alastor had said. “I’m sorry, that’s none of my business. I… Uh…”

Charlie rested her hand on his. “It’s okay. Dad is really open about it. He’s always said he hoped his being open about who he is might help other people who are questioning who they are.”

“Oh, well, that’s really cool.”

Alastor smiled politely back at him. He couldn’t read the other man; was he uncomfortable about the fact that he was trans or simply feeling awkward for being shown something so vulnerable. And he questioned himself on why he had told him. Was it really out of altruism and his desire to be so open about who he was or was he looking to shock and disturb him?

Lucifer was really feeling like he didn’t belong here. Charlie’s parents were these amazing people who had raised a child who they didn’t have to, but CHOSE to raise as their own. Her godparents fostered and even adopted children. Lucifer had given HIS child away. He knew he was never going to measure up to the people already in her life.

“Thank you for having me over for dinner,” Lucifer said to Alastor when he was leaving.

Alastor smiled. “It was a pleasure to have you. Thank you for joining us. It was a lovely evening.” He paused and then added, “Perhaps we can do it again sometime.” He wasn’t sure why he said it. It wasn’t that he didn’t like the man, he found him quite amiable, but it still surprised him when he had offered.

“I’d like that. Or I can host you at my place sometime.”

“We’ll be in touch then.”

Charlie smiled. She was thrilled at the idea of there being more get-togethers like this one. She turned to Lucifer and gave him a hug. “I’m so glad we got to do this!”

“Me too, sweetheart,” he replied, embracing her in return.

Alastor tried not to show how much that word hurt him. Charlie wasn’t HIS sweetheart, or dear, or any other term of endearment a father might offer. Charlie belonged to HIM! HE was the one who raised her. He was the one who stayed up late at night with her when she had the flu. He took her dress shopping for her first school dance. He taught her how to ride a bicycle and bandaged her knee when she fell. The man in her arms now hadn’t loved her as HE had.

Alastor tried not to think about the man as he retired for the evening. He didn’t know how to handle this. Charlie was happy and that’s all a parent can ask for, but he still feared Lucifer taking his place. He looked up when he heard a knock on his door. It opened and Charlie stepped inside. “Charlie, dear, are you alright?” he asked in concern.

“I’m fine,” she quickly answered. “I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”

He smiled. “Of course, dear, why wouldn’t I be?”

She stepped into the room and sat down on the bed beside him. “Are you really okay with me seeing him?”

“Well, of course, dear,” he answered as sincerely as he could. He brushed hair away from her face. “He’s your father after all.”

“And you’ll always be my dad,” she reminded him.

He smiled. “Of course I will.” He pulled her to him and kissed the top of her head. “Now, go to bed, dear, it’s late.”

She hugged him tightly. “I love you, Dad.”

“I love you too, darling. With all of my heart.”

***

Lucifer was excited when Charlie had invited him to her graduation. He was however, nervous about sitting with the rest of Charlie’s family. Vox and Val’s kids were graduating as well so, they sat with Alastor. He felt out of place next to the three other men. He knew, no matter what he did, they were never going to accept him as a part of Charlie’s life.

He and Charlie had been spending a lot of time together, much to Alastor’s chagrin. He didn’t dislike the man, but he couldn’t stop this ache in his heart every time he came around. He’d even heard Charlie calling him ‘dad’ now. It irked him to no end. But he wanted his little girl to be happy.

“Charlies got quite the list of achievements, doesn’t she?” Lucifer commented as he looked at the program.

“She’s a very smart girl,” Alastor replied.

Lucifer chuckled. “Well, she certainly didn’t get that from ME.” He paused. “She talk to you about her plans for college?”

Alastor glanced over at him. “We’ve discussed in length her plans for furthering her education, yes.”

“Of course, of course. Just wasn’t sure if she’d told you what she’d officially settled on yet?”

Alastor studied him for a moment. “Has she told YOU?”

“What? ME? Nah, nothing definitive. I mean, she’s got options. Like you said, she’s a smart girl.”

Alastor sighed. “Well, she didn’t get that from me either.”

Lucifer looked over at him. “You know, I don’t really have to come to dinner tonight,” he offered. “I mean, it should just be Charlie’s family.”

“You ARE Charlie’s family,” Alastor replied quicker than he’d have cared for. “Regardless of my feelings concerning the matter, you are indeed her family.”

“Oh…” He wasn’t sure if Alastor had meant to say that last part out loud. He thought they were getting along. But he knew he shouldn’t be surprised that Alastor felt threatened by his presence. After all, Alastor had raised her, been there for her her entire life! What had Lucifer ever done for her? He knocked up her mom and then abandoned her. He knew he was a sorry excuse for a father. He really had no right to be in her life at all.

Charlie practically ran to her family as soon as the ceremony was over, dragging Vaggie with her. Alastor smiled and pulled her into a tight embrace, lifting her in the air as he did. “Congratulations, darling!” He set her down and looked into her eyes. There were tears in his eyes. “I wish your mom were here. She’d be so proud of you. As am I.”

She smiled. “Oh, Dad!” She hugged him again. After Vaggie and Angel hugged their dads, Charlie hugged them as well. Then she turned to Lucifer.

He smiled at her. “You’ve done great, kid.” He hugged her tightly. “I couldn’t be more proud of the person you’ve become. I know both your moms are looking down at you right now.”

She smiled. “You really think so?”

“Hell yeah! I bet your mom immediately made friends with Lilith when she arrived upstairs and they’ve just been watching you grow.” He hugged her again. “I’m so proud of you!”

To celebrate after the graduation, Vox and Val hosted a bar-b-que at their place. Lucifer couldn’t help feeling out of place the whole time, but he was there for Charlie. He was a little surprised when Angel’s boyfriend, introduced himself. “You must be Lucifer, Charlie’s birth dad. I’m Husk, Angel’s fiancé.”

“Oh, it’s really nice to meet you.”

Angel strode over to him. “You ain’t gotta place nice, kitty. He’s no one.”

Husk looked at him. “You don’t have to be fucking dick just because YOUR father is a piece of shit,” he told him bluntly.

Angel pursed his lips angrily. “And you don’t gotta act like you know so much more than I do just because you’re a couple of years older than I am,” he countered.

“Hey, listen, I know all about shitty dads,” Lucifer offered. “Mine basically kicked me out for getting my girlfriend pregnant. Then he acted like everything was fine and I could just come back home as if nothing happened when she passed. HE was a real piece of work.”

“Oh, so being a shitty dad runs in your family, then, huh?”

Husk huffed. “Why do you have to be like that?”

“Like what?” he turned to him and asked. “Protective over people I care about? I know, how fucking dare I!”

“If you’ll excuse us,” Husk said politely to Lucifer and pulled Angel away.

Lucifer sighed. He couldn’t blame Angel for how he felt about him. He WASN’T a good dad. He looked across the yard at Alastor. Now, THAT was a dad. The few times he’d been over at the house visiting Charlie, he’d gotten a feel for him. He was still reserved when it came to Lucifer, but he was always so kind and engaging; he wanted to know him for his daughter’s sake. Lucifer wanted that too.

“Hey, Dad, Pops,” Vaggie called to her dads.

“Yeah, babe, what you need?” Val asked.

She bit her lip nervously. “So, Angel and I were hoping you guys wouldn’t mind letting us go to a party this evening,” she said quietly. “It’s just a graduation farewell thing, I swear. We won’t drink or anything. It’s just, like the last high school party we’re ever going to go to. Please, pretty, please, can we go?” she begged.

Val sighed. “Sweetheart, you know how I feel about parties.”

Vox smiled and rolled his eyes. “You can quit acting like you think it’s a big deal,” he teased. He looked at his daughter. “You know the rules. Be good, be safe, be smart.”

“Don’t ever leave your cup out of your sight,” Val added.

“And don’t accept a drink from ANYONE. You get your own drink.”

“And you call us if you think you won’t be able to drive home safely. I don’t care what time it is.” Val brushed her hair from her face. “We just want you to get home safe and sound. Okay?”

She smiled. “We will, Pops. I promise.”

“Do you need the car?” Vox asked as he dug his keys from his pocket.

She shook her head. “Charlie was gonna ask to take her dad’s car.”

“Yeah,” Val said looking at his husband, “you wouldn’t want to embarrass our kids by making them take our old beat-up mini-van to their last high school party, now, would you?” He laughed.

Vox smiled and rolled his eyes. “Yeah, because Al’s Subaru is the epitome of ‘cool’,” he joked back.

“Still better than YOUR rust bucket,” Vaggie commented under her breath.

Vox laughed and pushed her shoulder playfully. “I heard that, you punk.”

Lucifer could tell the celebration was winding down, so he went to Charlie to let her know that he was going to take off. He stopped when he saw that she was talking to her dad. “Could I borrow the car?” she begged. “Please!”

“I thought we were going to have a quiet night in tonight just the two of us to celebrate,” he replied.

“We can do that tomorrow!” she offered.

“Yes, while you nurse a hangover all day,” he teased. “I suppose I can have Vox drive me home.”

“I could give you ride home,” Lucifer offered. They both turned to look at him. “Sorry, I wasn’t meaning to eaves drop,” he added sheepishly.

“Well, if you don’t mind, that’d be appreciated. Thank you.” He handed his keys to Charlie. He snatched them away from her before she could take them. “Come home to me, tonight, you understand me?”

“Yes, Dad.”

“I MEAN it. You’ll stay safe and be responsible. I want you to have fun, but I want you to come home at the end of the night, you understand me, young lady?”

She smiled. “Yes, Dad.”

“Good.” He handed the keys to her and pulled her into a hug. “I love you Charlie, more than anything.” He kissed the top of her head. “Have a good time.”

“Thanks, Dad.”

Then she turned to Lucifer. “Thanks for coming today!”

“It’s been an honor and a privilege, sweetheart.” He gave her a hug. “Now, do what your dad told you and go have a good time.”

They both watched her as she gathered the other kids and they made their way out.

The car ride between Alastor and Lucifer was quiet. Lucifer felt like they’d been getting along for a while now, but Alastor was still keeping him at arms-length. He wanted to bridge this gap that they’d found between them, but he didn’t know how.

“Well, thank you for the ride. It is greatly appreciated.”

“Yeah, not a problem. Anything for Charlie’s Dad.”

Alastor paused. He didn’t know what to say to that. So, he just cleared his throat. “Well, again, thank you.”

Alastor opened the door to get out of the car, but Lucifer stopped him. “Hey, could we talk?”

Alastor paused and looked at him. “Of course. Why don’t you come inside?” he offered. He didn’t know WHAT the other man wanted to discuss with him, but he was certain it wasn’t the kind of conversation to be had out on the front lawn. Once inside, Alastor sat down on the sofa, pointing at the other side in offer to Lucifer. “What’s on your mind?”

He sat down. “I get the feeling, you don’t like me very much,” Lucifer told him plainly.

Alastor scoffed. “Why do you think that?”

He raised a brow. “You telling me that you DO like me?”

“I didn’t say that,” Alastor quickly replied.

He paused in thought. “So, you DON’T like me?”

“Why are you twisting my words?!” he demanded. He paused. “No, I DON’T like you,” he admitted. “With you around, you make me feel like less of a father to my own daughter.”

He shook his head. “If that’s how you feel, that has NOTHING to do with me,” he argued.

“It has EVERYTHING to do with you!” he shouted back as he stood up. “I never once questioned myself as a father until YOU came around! Why couldn’t you have just told her ‘No’ when she asked to contact you? Our lives would have been better without you!” He’d been thinking and feeling these things since the moment he came into Charlie’s life. If he was asking for his feelings about the matter, he was going to give them to him.

“I wanted to know my daughter.”

“MY daughter! YOU abandoned her!”

“That was never my plan! I was gonna do everything right! We were gonna get married and raise Charlie together!” He got quiet as tears filled his eyes. “But I couldn’t do it without her.”

“Yes, it must be SO difficult raising a child on your own as a single parent. I would have NO idea how that is.”

“I was sixteen fucking years old! I was still a kid myself!”

Through gritted teeth, Alastor snarled, “You STILL abandoned her.”

“I did what I did for HER!” Lucifer shouted as he got to his feet.

“Don’t give me that shit! You couldn’t handle raising a child on your own, you said it yourself. You gave her away like nothing because you were a selfish child.”

Lucifer’s voice dropped. “Yes, I was a CHILD. A child who didn’t make the choice to have a kid. YOU made that choice!”

Quietly he replied, “I didn’t CHOOSE to be a single father.”

“Neither did I.” Lucifer sighed. “But I DID have a choice. You’re right, maybe what I did was selfish. And maybe because of that, I don’t deserve to have Charlie in my life. But that’s HER decision to make. Not YOURS and certainly not MINE.”

Alastor sighed, finally letting himself calm down. “You’re right. And I think what we both want is for her to be happy.”

He nodded. “I can agree with that.”

“And us being at each other’s throats won’t do that.”

“Agree with you on that as well.”

He took a deep breath. “We don’t have to be friends. We just need to be friendly enough for Charlie’s sake.”

“Yeah,” he nodded in agreement. He took a deep breath. “Listen, I’m sorry. Charlie is never going to be my daughter the way she is yours. I know that and I think a part of me is a little jealous of that.” He sighed. “And I’m grateful she found her way to YOU. It’s obvious you’ve been a great dad. She’s happy. I couldn’t ask for any more than that.”

Alastor’s throat tightened. “I don’t… HATE you,” he admitted. “But seeing you with her… It just reminds me that… She’ll never truly be mine.” He took a deep breath, trying to hold back tears. “She looks JUST like you. There’s no doubt to whom she belongs. And I was scared of giving that up, of losing the only thing I have left that matters to me at all in this world.”

“You don’t have to give her up,” Lucifer assured him. “That girl loves you. She… She was so scared to tell you about meeting me because she didn’t want to hurt you. You mean so much to her. And you deserve that love and devotion from her. You raised her and you raised her well. I don’t think she’d have ended up even half the woman she is if she’d have been raised by me.”

Alastor sighed as he sat down on the couch again. “I suppose we’ll never know.”

Lucifer sat down next to him. He rested a hand on his knee. “What matters is who she is now.”

Alastor nodded. “I suppose it’s safe to say she has a little bit of the both of us in her.”

Lucifer chuckled. “Hopefully it’s all the good parts.”

Alastor smiled at him. “I think it is.”