Chapter Text
Till thought everything was fine.
Sure, their relationship wasn't traditional by any means. Till was in it for the money, which isn't something you'd expect to hear from a 17-year-old boy. To him, a statement like that was reserved for college girls dating older men, like you would see in TV shows. Not that there was anything wrong with that either.
But it was true, Till was in this relationship for the money. Not to extend his collection of guitars and old, beat-up shoes he claimed were vintage. His mom needed surgery. One they had no idea where they were going to possibly get the money for.
Ivan offered to pay. It wasn't out of the ordinary for Ivan to try to pay for everything he could for Till, considering how stupid rich his parents were. But, Till couldn't help but feel weird about it.
It was a lot of money for the surgery. A whole different ballpark from buying Till's new shoes and some CDs. To be honest, he already didn't like it when Ivan spent more than 10 dollars on him.
Till turned him down at first. There was no way his best friend was going to pay for his mom's surgery. He got two part-time jobs after school, but his grades, which were already hanging by a thread, took yet another dive. No amount of effort he made could catch up to the rate at which Io's health was declining. Till couldn't do it anymore. He caved.
He asked Ivan if the offer was still on the table, and Ivan just smiled brightly as he assured, "Of course."
That was that. Ivan paid for the surgery, and Till went out with Ivan. They established some ground rules to make Till more comfortable. If they were going to do this, Till needed to be upfront with Ivan about the fact that he didn't have feelings for Ivan. His heart was Mizi's.
Ivan did nothing more but nod, "I know."
At first, it felt the same as when they were just friends. A month went by, and Ivan barely touched him. Honestly, there was less physical contact than there had been before. Till almost wanted to say something, but on the off chance he would be opening a can of worms he'd rather leave closed, he didn't.
But after Till accidentally fell asleep on Ivan while watching a movie at his place, things began to change. Ivan began holding Till's hand and leaning on Till at any chance he got. The thing is, Till found he didn't mind it. He even found himself initiating with Ivan, subconsciously chasing the warmth of the other.
Just small things, like leaning his head on Ivan's shoulder and drawing circles on the palms of Ivan's hands. They mutually spiraled from there, gentle touches becoming longing caresses that neither would acknowledge. That is, until three months later. They were hanging out at Till's place, and he had been staring at Ivan's face for longer than appropriate while Ivan was reading.
"Watch yourself," Ivan didn't even look up from his book while he joked, "If you keep staring at me like that, it's going to make me want to kiss you."
Normally, Till would send something snappy back, but today it was different. The word kiss went in one ear and out the other, and before he knew what he was doing, Till found himself grabbing Ivan's book and pushing it onto the bed. Ivan looked up, confusion written quietly on his face, but he wasn't given a chance to speak.
Ivan's lips were soft, softer than he imagined. The heat that ran down his spine made him shiver; it wasn't like anything he'd felt before. That said, he hadn't ever kissed anyone before now, so he supposed that should make sense.
Till didn't know at the time why kissing Ivan felt so right. But hey, they were technically dating, right?
When he pulled away, Ivan looked upset, which was out of the ordinary for him. Ivan was, unfortunately, wonderful at covering up anything real. Over the years, Till had learned to decipher the small bits and pieces he would let show through, but this expression was new.
"Uh-," Till started, quickly turning away and scooting away on the bed.
He didn't think it would upset Ivan. Ivan liked him, right? Liked him enough to date him, knowing Till didn't feel the same. Or at least, didn't at the time. Now, Till doesn't know what he feels, but what he does know is that no one is more important than Ivan.
"You're playing a dangerous game for someone who doesn't love me back," Ivan eventually spoke up, his voice uncharacteristically quiet.
Till paused for a moment. Love? That was a strong word to use. Still, something about what Ivan was implying pissed Till off. If there was anything Till hated, it was not being taken seriously.
Till turned back to Ivan and bit, "Try me."
After that, their relationship changed from borderline contractual to something real. Something that involved stolen kisses between classes, pet names, and anything but appropriate sleepovers.
A month later, while Till was busy trying to figure out matching outfits for prom, that all changed. Ivan didn't show up for class. Which was concerning enough. Ivan was on track to be one of the top in their senior class, and they only had a month left until graduation. Till was constantly checking his phone, seeing if he had any messages from Ivan. But nothing. At first, it pissed him off. Who was Ivan to leave him on delivered?
Till brought it up to Mizi, who still remained one of his closest friends after everything. She told him that maybe something is going on, and he might just need some time to breathe. The student council had been up his ass. Along with him putting everything he could into his studies to finish out his high school career with flying colors.
So Till left him alone. A week in, Till had finally had enough. Honestly, he had been proud of himself for doing his best to not bust down Ivan's bedroom door and ring his neck. Till was tired of playing this stupid game. It wasn't funny anymore. Well, it hadn't ever been funny, but it was time to put an end to it.
After school, he marched over to Ivan's for an explanation. Only to find a for sale sign in the yard.
What? Ivan was moving? Why the fuck did he not tell him?
He ignored it and pounded on the door. No one answered but he kept knocking. Silently begging for an answer. He must have been at it for quite a while, because one of the neighbors came out and called out to him.
"You aren't going to find them young man. They left."
Till turned to him, unable to process what he just heard, "What?"
"Apparently their money wasn't theirs. They had borrowed it from...somewhere shady. They needed to pay it back and couldn't, so they ran away. I'm sorry," He explained, giving Till an apologetic look.
Till could only give the man a small nod as he processed it all. They were in debt? All the money Ivan had spent on his moms surgery was borrowed money? No, Till doubted Ivan would be stupid enough to borrow money. He must've not known at all. Not that it made him feel less guilty to unintentionally contributing to the problem.
Still, he can't imagine Ivan would go with them. Sure, his parents were in debt but that had nothing to do with him. As far as Till was aware, Ivan didn't even get along with his parents, and he was trying to accomplish so much here. He couldn't understand what was going through his head. One thing was very clear, Ivan had no intention of telling Till. By the looks of it, Till wouldn't be surprised if the lack of contact was from Ivan changing his phone number.
He really left it all behind.
He left Till behind.
Five years later, Till was on the stage. He was a well known name, with three singles and two full albums out. He was coming up on a million followers on all platforms and as of this year, he had a nearly all sold-out tour.
Life was good, and he thrived in the haze of it all. Signing albums, flashy outfits, screaming into the mic in front of hundreds, sleeping in the studio. It was everything he dreamed of.
He unfortunately had a certain black haired man to thank for it all. His first album was dedicated to him. Kind of. He poured his confusion, hatred, and his love into the eight songs that comprised it. Titled "Escapee", he didn't expect much when he dropped it. He recorded it with a shitty mic he bought for cheap while swapped with coursework while he was trying college classes. But it took off and he has only gone up from there.
He had a small hope that Ivan would see the album, reach out. He had tried to move on, really he did. A man in his position has more than plenty of chances on tour to find temporary lovers, but he could never follow through. After the mess with Ivan, he couldn't force himself into another loveless relationship. Not that his relationship with Ivan ended that way, but it certainly not your normal dating experience. So at 22, he remained single.
So far, he has had no luck. On the bright side, it is hard to have the time to yearn for your old childhood best friend (?) when you're busy pleasing the masses.
Finally, after touring for months he found himself back in the studio. He turned to his producer...friend...if you can call him that, after a long day of recording beats for his next album.
"I don't think I can listen to anything chord without going insane."
Luka laughed, "Throwing in the towel already?"
"Shut up," Till grumbled, turning to pack up his newest electric guitar.
Luka leaned back in his chair for a moment, before turning to Till with renewed energy.
"We should go out tonight."
"What?"
"There has been someone I've been wanting to introduce you too," He smirked, and it made Till shiver.
"You managed to get a lover?"
Luka laughed bitterly at the jab, "Doing my best. But that's not who I want to introduce you too."
Till raised an eyebrow, prompting him to continue.
"I've been going to this bar recently. I was in desperate need of a drink and wasn't exactly sure what I was getting myself into. It's a host bar. One of the guys there is right up your alley."
Till's eyes widened. He had been invited to all sorts of places but a host bar is certainly a new one.
He paused for a moment before his face scrunched together, "You want to introduce me to a guy who I will pay for sex?"
Luka laughed, looking at him with wide eyes, clearly not expecting that reply.
"No. Well, I mean you probably could sleep with him if you paid enough. But they are mostly there for good conversation," Luka explained further.
Till closed his eyes and thought for a second. It isn't the worst idea in the world. He had to give Luka credit for having a good eye for good looking people. It may, just may, be a good chance to try to forget the man whose been haunting him all these years. He let out a deep sigh and leaned his guitar case against the wall next to him.
"Fine. I need a drink anyway."
Luka gave him a smile that made Till wholly uncomfortable but it was too late to turn back now.
Till had to admit, the place was nicer than he thought it was going to be. The aesthetic of the place was nice. He was almost expecting something close to a strip club, but instead it looked like a high end bar. Black walls with white designs painted on, leather seats and matt painted tables. The lighting was limited, making it hard to make out the faces of the other customers. Till had to appreciate it. It even looked like there were private rooms in the back, but Till tried to ignore what they might be used for.
Till and Luka found a seat at an empty booth in the back, an attempt at keeping people from recognizing Till. Not like it mattered much in a place like this. Till had the feeling most people mind their business here.
A man dressed in something similar to a regular waiter came over not long after they had taken their seats, "Hello, I hope you are doing well this evening. What would you like to drink? I will be taking your first order, and if you have a preference of host for the night please let me know and I will see if they are available."
Luka gave him a polite smile, "We will take four bottles of soju, thank you. For host.."
Luka shot Till a look before continuing, "If Vani is available, I would love his company."
"Ah...yes, I can see if Vani is available. As you probably know, he is our most popular so their is a chance he is currently occupied. If there anyone else you have in mind?"
Luka shook his head, "No, just him. But, if Hyuna is here, will you please ask her to stop by for a visit?"
The man look surprised, but gave him a curt nod, "Will do. Excuse me."
With that, he was gone. Till gave Luka a questioning look.
"Hyuna? Isn't that a girls name? Are their female hosts as well? I thought it was more of a male thing."
"Oh, she isn't a host. She is the manager here and I think I fell in love with her at first sight," Luka explained, that smile still plastered on his face.
Till couldn't help but roll his eyes and was about to make a comment when a sweet, low voice interrupted him.
"Good evening. I heard you requested me~ I've also got your drinks here with me," The man announced cheerfully.
Till sent him a glance and felt his blood run cold. He couldn't do anything as his mouth ran dry and the man placed the bottles of soju on the table. The man in front of him was dressed in dress pants that fit tight on his hips. A black button down carefully tucked into them, with the majority of the buttons undone, revealing his toned chest and defined collarbones. His sleeves were rolled up, showing off his arms. His hair was styled back, and he wore a simple black chocker.
Needless to say, he was undeniably attractive, and that stupid fucking smile that showed off his snaggletooth only added to the package.
That fucking snaggletooth that made him bleed the second time they kissed.
Ivan was the god damn host Luka wanted to introduce Till too. The one he thought was his type. Luka had no idea about his past with Ivan, which makes the situation that more laughable.
"It's good to see you again, Luka. It's been so long, and you know I've missed you," He lightheartedly complained.
The way he called Luka's name made his skin crawl. The way he hadn't bothered to look at Till made something in his blood boil.
"Ah, I've missed you too, dear. You know I can get so very busy," Luka sighed, leaning to rest his head on his hand.
"But you're here to see me now, and that's what matters," Ivan smiled before turning to Till, "I see you brought a friend-"
Ivan stopped short when he looked at Till. He looked shell-shocked. He looked like all he wanted to do was run.
"Vani? Are you alright?" Luka asked softly.
In a moment, his smile was on his face again and he turned to Luka, "Yes, I was just surprised by how good looking your friend it. My apologies."
Till stared at Ivan wide eyed as Ivan slid into the booth next to him, cozying up to him with ease. Luka let out a quiet laugh, as if he had won something.
"I'm Vani, what is your name?" Ivan asked, clearly deciding to act like he had no idea who Till was.
"...Till" he answered bitterly.
"Till," Ivan echoed, "I like that name. It rolls of the tongue nicely."
Till's face scrunched up as Ivan smiled back at him, hating every minute of this. He wasn't sure how he wanted to meet Ivan again, but this was clearly not it. Not making a living by doing this. How did he get here?
Ivan quickly turned and opened a bottle of soju, pouring each of them a glass, with a smile capable of stealing hearts.
"Shall we get the night started?"