Chapter Text
The servants' hall was always so cold in the morning. Trudging down the stairs to grab something hot to put in her belly Anna sighed heavily as she grabbed the kettle from the stove.
“You’re certainly up early.” Daisy said putting the two buckets she used for carrying the coal to the noble’s fireplaces every morning down. “I’m always the one up at this hour.” She wiped her hands and rinsed them off quickly in the sink before pulling down various ingredients for the family's breakfast.
Anna fidgeted with the hem of her apron. “ I just couldn't sleep is all, Daisy. Besides, Doesn’t hurt to get an early start.” Anna sat and sipped her tea watching the bell for Lady Mary’s room. Knowing soon her work day would start and wouldn't end until the late evening. Not that she minded much. It was a good and consistent job and to be honest she’d grown very fond of the family she served, especially the eldest Crawley daughter.
The other servants started to fill the dining hall sitting down to eat before starting their day. Thomas always sat next to Anna.
“Morning, Anna.” He said pulling a cigarette from his tin and lighting it. “Sleep well I hope.” He pulled a long drag and exhaled, pouring his own tea.
“ Fine, Thomas. Just fine.” Anna said, scoffing at his tone.
“Just checking….” He had been noting that she had been acting slightly off.
Anna looked sternly at him with her sweet face sneering to the best of her ability.
“Oh Anna, don’t pretend to be angry it's not becoming of you.”
“Thomas I-”
Before she could finish her sentence Mr. Carson entered the room and all of the servants stood up from their seats. Anna reluctantly pushed her chair back hoping to sit for longer but the bell for Lady Mary’s bedroom rang and she sighed.
“I guess your day has started hasn’t it Miss Smith.” Thomas said.
Anna looked at him with her meanest glare.
“Anna… you’ll have to try harder.” Thomas snuffed his cigarette out and also left the breakfast hall.
Making her way up to her lady’s bedroom she lifted the front of her maids uniform as she went up the stairs. Black with a white apron. Adjusting the small bonnet over her hair before reaching the long hallway that led to the sisters rooms. She knocked on Mary’s bedroom and entered.
“Good morning milady.” Anna said without an ounce of malice in her heart. “How are you today?” She approached the chair Mary was sitting at in front of the vanity grabbing the brush out of Mary’s hand gently. “ I hope you slept well.”
Mary. The epitome of elegance and aristocracy looked at her maid through the mirror in front of her and smiled. “I did Anna, darling.”
The addition of the appelative made Anna falter slightly having never heard anyone call her darling before. She had heard Mary use it for her sisters but never any of the servants. She started brushing Lady Mary’s hair gently, running her thin fingers through the long dark brown locks each time. Her fingers softly and subtly caressing the base of her neck without notice.
“Milady, you have cousin Matthew meeting you today. Would you like anything special done for your luncheon?” Anna asked politely.
Mary scoffed and rolled her eyes tossing the necklace she was fiddling with onto the vanity and leaning back into Anna’s hands as she brushed her hair.
“No.” is all she said.
“Yes, milady.” Anna replied, setting the brush down gently on the vanity.
Anna braided Mary’s hair gently and twisted it up with pins the same she had been doing for three years. The silence was comfortable and relaxed. Maybe the only time Anna ever felt relaxed doing her job was when her hands were on her Lady’s hair.
“Do you want anything specific for your luncheon milady? I do believe it’s a picnic. I can make sure something is packed you’d like?” Anna asked, backing towards the dresses laying across the bed meant for Mary to choose.
“No.” Mary replied unmoving from her position staring blankly at the wall behind the mirror.
“Very well milady.” Anna said, choosing the purple gown. She wouldn’t admit she adored seeing Mary wear this particular one. “Will this one do milady?” She held it out showing Mary the gown in the reflection of the mirror.
Mary leaned forward and regained her posture and breathed deeply from her nose.
“Yes Anna. I guess it will.” She stood up and turned towards her maid holding out her arms for Anna to pull the gown onto. Her deep hickory eyes were cast down. Not in thought but in disgust.
“Milady. Is everything alright?” Anna asked. Having known Mary for so long and knowing her detest for the suitors her parents pushed on her she already knew that the problem was the luncheon she would be forced to have.
Mary pulled the gown onto herself and turned around so Anna could tie the back of it delicately.
“Anna.” Mary said, turning her head to the side so she was slightly facing her maid. “What do you think of Cousin Matthew?”
Anna thought about the answer while adjusting the shoulder creases….lingering longer than she should when smoothing the fabric.
“Milady, he seems like a fine gentleman. He seems keen on you as well.” Anna said.
Mary sighed and turned fully to her maid. “Truth be told I’m so terribly tired of suitors.”
Anna smiled politely, reaching around Mary to grab the necklace she had been handling on the vanity and putting it over her neck and adjusting it to sit perfectly on her chest.
“Anna.” Mary said. “Do you think Matthew could be a good suitor? He is the heir to this estate and without him I won't have any position.”
Anna stepped back and knelt down adjusting the lady’s dress around her dress shoes. Standing up she found Mary had inched closer to her.
“Anna. What should I do?” Mary almost sounded on the verge of tears.
Anna stepped back. “ It’s not my place to say… but I would just…follow your heart.” She grabbed Mary’s garments from the bed and turned back to her. “Is there anything else I can do milady?”
Mary clenched her fists. Not in an angry way but a thoughtful way.
“No Anna. That’s all. Thank you” Mary turned around again grabbing her bottle of perfume.
Anna nodded her head and walked towards the door.
******
“Well you look flustered what has you in a tizzy Anna” Thomas said the instant Anna reached the bottom of the stairs entering the servants kitchen.
“Don’t you have something to do. Your job maybe” Anna said harshly as she grabbed the sewing box from the boot room. Thomas followed her.
“Why so nasty Anna? Is being a servant not what you expected from this life.” He straightened his livery outfit, sneering. “ You’re too sweet to be so angry, Anna.”
Anna stopped fussing with the box and stopped. Thomas had always been different and the staff had always dismissed his choice of partners. She felt singled out. Like he knew she might also be…the same.
“There’s no need for you to be so vile Thomas. Leave me alone.” She finally said brushing by him hitting his shoulder with hers.
*******
Mary went downstairs towards the library knowing that Matthew would be waiting for her in the garden with his kind face and his adoring smile. She couldn’t quite put it together why she was so put off by him. He was the perfect suitor when it came down to it. Would inherit the estate. He was very handsome. He was witty and smart. She couldn't help being annoyed by him nonetheless.
“Mary! My darling daughter.” Lord Granthom held his hands out to his first born daughter happily. “ Are you looking forward to your picnic with Matthew today?” He clutched her arm in his in a way Mary always loved. She loved her father. She loved that he always appreciated her tenacity. She leaned into his side and smiled despite her feelings towards the impending date with the next man being pushed on her.
“Oh, Papa you know me, I’m never excited to meet the men who will usurp my title.” Mary drawled out in her snotty arrogant voice she always had.
Lord Granthom stopped them and pulled Mary to face him.
“Mary my darling. Matthew is a good match. You would be smart to try. Just try.” He clutched her hands and kissed them before dropping them and leaving.
Mary stood in the middle of the hall almost on the verge of tears. Tired of being forced to talk to men who couldn’t even make a coherent sentence about anything she was remotely interested in. Tired of the men she was entertaining want to bind her in a loveless marriage. Tired of them impressing on her their importance that she felt was unimportant to the most degree.
“Mary!”
Mary snapped out of her trance to see her sister coming down the grand staircase smiling. Sybil always had a way of knowing when she was in need of saving.
“My dear Mary?” Sybil rushed over. “ Is it Matthew? Don’t you have your date with him today?”
With that said her other sister approached her behind Sybil.
“Yes she does. She will reject him of course. She can’t accept anything that will make her remotely happy when it can make anyone else happy.” Edith said tartly, walking past her quickly to avoid any rebuke from Mary.
Sybil looked down and grabbed Mary’s hands. “Don’t listen to her, sister.”
The three sisters entered the dining room and sat for breakfast. Mary did not dare look at her mother or father knowing they would eventually approach the subject of Matthew.
Lady Granthom looked at Mary in a lovingly motherly way. “Mary. I know you are seeing Matthew today.” She smiled.
Mary moved the eggs on her plate around listlessly trying to ignore the comment.
“I just think it would be good to just….give him a chance my darling.” She said sweetly before returning to her paper.
Lord Grantham looked up from his breakfast.
“Of course she should. Why shouldn’t she?.” He stared at Mary intently. “ And you will.” he finished. Mary knew this statement meant behave.
Mary finally had enough and stood up.
“I will Papa. I promise.” She said quickly before exiting the room on the verge of tears.
The prospect of Matthew being her future husband was all but perfect. They’d run the estate. They’d have an heir. Mary would ensure the future of the family. The idea made her sick.
She retreated back to her room and was tempted to pull the rope to call Anna. No. She is busy. She thought. Instead she laid on her bed crying into her pillow awaiting the hour she was expected to meet Matthew down by the lawn for their picnic.
*****
“Anna, are you prepared for Lady Mary’s luncheon with Matthew?” Mrs. Hughes said bringing Anna out of her daze of polishing Mary’s riding boots.
“I’m sorry Mrs. Hughes?”
“I said.” Mrs. Hughes approached her, “Lady Mary’s luncheon with Matthew?”
Anna inhaled through her nostrils and exhaled. “Oh. I wasn’t aware I was setting it up Ms. Hughes..”
Mrs. Hughes, the head housekeeper, looked at her squinting her eyes. “ Did Thomas not tell you? Ms. Pattmore has the basket set out for their date…. Heavens I hope this is the one…..I don’t think they’ll let Mary keep on anymore.” She scoffed and nodded towards a picnic basket meant for Anna to bring out to the lawn.
“Yes Mrs. Hughes.” Anna said, slipping off the gloves she had been using for polishing. “I will bring it now.” She stood up and went towards the kitchen to grab the basket. For Mary and Matthews lunch. To set up. Her stomach twisted in jealousy. A feeling she was unaccustomed to.
“Oh and Anna?” Mrs. Hughes said.
Anna turned around.
“Don’t forget the blanket.” She handed Anna a soft cotton blanket from the linen closet.
“Of course Mrs. Hughes.” Anna grabbed one and the basket and headed out towards the lawn.
***
“Mary” Matthew politely called as she met him on the back lawn. He kissed her cheeks and held both of her hands. She detested the feeling.
“Cousin Matthew! So nice of you to meet me. I do feel Papa and Mama framed us however” She never faltered with her high tone of smugness.
Matthew smiled towards the ground clearly flustered by her. “ Well” He put a hand on her lower back guiding her towards their picnic. Mary cringed at his hand on her back.
“Ah. I see it’s already being set up for us!” He said in a jovial tone.
Mary suddenly realized it was Anna setting the blanket delicately on the ground and placing the basket next to it. Opening the lid and pulling out the lunch contents. She walked faster towards her.
“Anna! I didn’t expect you to be doing this. I assumed Barrow or one of the footman.” She couldn’t conceal her smile.
Anna stood up, smoothing down her apron. “ I apologize milady” She stood straight and backed away from the blanket.
Mary, flustered, shook her beautiful head and smiled. “No need. I just didn’t expect to see you so soon.” She smiled so brightly at Anna she became embarrassed and looked at the grass. “Mr. Matthew and I were just not expecting anyone.”
Anna smiled and nodded before walking away.
“Is she your maid?” Matthew asked, sitting down on the blanket Anna had laid out.
“Yes.” Mary replied, watching Anna walk away.
“Well you’re very lucky to have such a loyal servant.” He said, grabbing the bottle of champagne out of the basket.
Mary turned to Matthew with the sternest of looks. “She’s not my servant.”
Matthew looked confused. “Oh.” He raised his eyebrows at Mary’s apparent disapproval of his words. “Well isn’t she your….the one who dresses you?”
Mary scoffed and sat on the ground next to the blanket. “You must think me arrogant and torturous.” She grabbed the glass of champagne he was holding out for her.
“No!” Matthew said. “I only think of you as lovely and slightly terrifying.” He added.
Mary sipped her drink and regained her composure.
“Well. There’s that I guess.”
*****
Anna entered the servants hall hastily being told to make up the beds in the daughters rooms quickly and to return and change so she was in her evening wear.
She made the beds in Lady Ediths and Lady Sybils rooms quickly but upon entering Lady Mary’s room she stopped when pulling her sheets up. Being more gentle about the pillows and covers. She bent over to tuck the sheets in and couldn’t help but put her face close to Lady Mary’s pillow and smelling the flowery scent that was always perfumed on it. It filled her with a deep burn in her abdomen.
“Anna?” Came a voice from the hallway.
“ Yes?”
“ You're needed downstairs.” Thomas said.
“Right you are. Be there.” Anna said finishing. Her face flushing as she moved around Thomas.
*********
Anna sat at the long table in the servants hall sipping tea and having a few bites of bread waiting for her evening to start. She had already changed into her evening livery.
Thomas came in adjusting his white gloves for serving looking peculiarly at Anna.
“I wish you’d just be out with it.” He shoved the last finger into the glove and approached the maid. “ What's wrong.” It wasn’t a question but a statement.
The bell rang for Lady Mary and Anna stood up promptly.
“Nothing Thomas.” She whispered.
****
Mary sat staring listlessly at her reflection replaying the day in her mind cringing at every interaction and touch Matthew had given her. She fussed with her hair silently wondering when Anna would arrive and help her into her evening gown and also wondering what those feelings meant. Her wanting to see her. Have her hands on her. Look into her blue eyes and-
“Good evening M’Lady .” Anna entered the room smiling. “I hope your lunch with Mr. Matthew went well?” She added approaching Mary at her vanity.
Mary faltered slightly before regaining her posture. “Well enough I suppose. However…” She dared say the next words but felt reckless. “However I’d much rather had lunch with you than Cousin Matthew.” She said looking up at Anna through the mirror as she pulled her jewelry off, setting it on the vanity.
Anna stopped in her steps as she reached towards Mary’s hair to pin it. Her breathing unsteady and her pulse vibrating with the words Mary had just said.
“Well. We are familiar with each other. Which always makes ... .things easier milady.” Anna breathed, starting her routine of fixing Mary’s hair for dinner. Her hands shaking slightly.
Mary looked at her lap choosing her next words carefully. She wasn’t sure whether she should pressure it further or leave it. “I just meant…it would have been more enjoyable. Or at least for me.” She added with a small grin.
Anna giggled, not able to control it. “Oh my, did you dislike it that much? You'd rather spend an afternoon with me, milady.” She finished her hair and grabbed a dress out of the wardrobe to bring over to lay on the bed.
Mary smiled and giggled slightly herself. “Well. It wasn’t an afternoon I’d rather repeat.”
They both giggled before regaining their composure.
“Well milady. I do like him but your opinion is the only one that matters with this. I just want you to be happy.” Anna said as Mary pulled the dress she was wearing off and Anna grabbed it bringing the evening gown up. Anna noticed the curves of her small waist and breasts under the confines of the corset holding them. “Will you see him again milady?’ Anna said with a stutter almost.
The dress was pulled over her shoulders and Anna started on fitting the evening gown. “I only mean…I’m sorry milady it’s not my place to say.” She added.
Mary suddenly turned around pulling the sleeve higher up on her shoulder while taking Anna’s hand under hers. “Don’t think you cannot tell me your opinion. I value it much greater than others.” She squeezed Anna’s hand and let it down gently breathing in through her nose.
They stood quietly locking eyes when the door opened with a knock.
It was Sybil.
“Hello Anna.” She said with the most genuine smile. “How are you?”
Anna smiled. Sybil being the kindest person she had ever met. “I am well Lady Sybil. Thank you.”
Mary seemed to have found this annoying. “I don’t need you to check up on Anna. I can do that my dear sister.” She tossed the necklace she had once again been fussing with over her head before Anna could help her. “Thank you Anna that will be all.”
Anna nodded with a slightly hurt look on her face at the abrupt dismissal. “Yes milday.” She left the room and as she went to close the door she noticed Mary was watching her as she left. She couldn’t help but blush slightly.
Sybill sat on the edge of Mary’s bed watching them curiously noticing the very abrupt change in her sister's facial composure.
“I didn’t mean to intrude. I just wanted to see how your day was.” Sybil said, sitting on the edge of Mary’s bed.
Mary watched Anna close the door and pulled on her long silk gloves huffing an irritated sigh. “ I suppose you, like everyone else, would like to know how my afternoon was with the man I will most likely be forced to marry.” She half glared at her little sister whose large doe eyes softened.
“Mary…I only want you to be happy. Matthew is quite handsome.” She smiled and when she smiled her face always seemed to glisten. Mary adored it
“Oh I am sorry my darling. I don’t know what is wrong with me.” She placed a gloved hand briefly on her sister's cheek. “Come. Let’s go down before Edith or Mama finds us.” She linked her elbow around Sybils and they left for dinner.