Chapter Text
Sirius knew, rationally, that he was made for big cities. The noisy worlds with cars’ loud engines, people running in the streets in a hurry probably just in time for their appointments, big places full of happy tourists and a café in every corner. That was what Sirius was made for, or at least where he was supposed to belong.
He knew that his face - surely body too - was something great creators would fight for. In all modesty, he knew. He’s been told quite often that catwalks would fit him pretty well and honestly he wasn’t stupid, he knew what he looked like and people weren’t bored of reminding him anyway. Indeed, Sirius should be a great model.
Maybe somewhere he is, but not in this universe.
That wasn’t what he was made for in this one.
Or at least, not anymore. Sitting on the plane that is supposed to take him home after a year and a half of noisy and hectic life, Sirius sighs with relief as he watches London under the veil of white clouds pierced by the sun’s rays. New York and Paris were beautiful, obviously, but nothing is better that the small town that is home for his best friend, his little brother and his godson. That was home for him once, and he can’t wait for it to be just that again.
Sirius misses his family a lot, or what is his family now. It’s pretty much painful at this point how much he misses them. It goes right through his heart and he’s not far from crying every time he thinks of them. Even more now sitting on this plane, knowing that he will see them in a few minutes only. He has to bite his inner cheek not to smile too much, or burst out crying, he can’t decide actually.
Sirius can’t wait to crunch his little brother in the biggest hug he never received, even if the little shit is probably going to pinch him with every second he’s holding on him for too long. That will surely be the moment when James saves Regulus from his misery and hugs Sirius even tighter until both of them start crying and Regulus sighs in exasperation, or relief really. He would never admit it but Sirius knows that seeing him and James happy is everything Regulus wants.
Sirius feels his body vibrating with anticipation when the plane is finally landing.
During this year and a half away from home, Sirius has seen James, Regulus and Harry just one single time, for last Christmas. It was two full weeks, but in exchange with more than a year away from them, it was awfully not enough. He obviously called them everyday, or at least as much as he could. But really, it was not enough, never enough. Seeing them through a phone only was literal torture.
Shit. He needs to hug James so much that he trembles with impatience despite the summer heat.
Sirius knows that he has missed so many things during his absence, he’s heard about them on every phone call but still, he missed it and it’s too late to have it back. He was away and those things are in the past now, missed by Sirius but happened anyway. What destroys him the most is every things he missed about Harry. The kid is only one year old and he certainly will live a lot of things that Sirius will be there for but the first year is so important, so much happen during the first year of life. Sirius missed Harry’ first steps, first word, and first tooth. He saw that through the phone, but again, it’s not the same thing, he wish he was there.
But worst of it all, he missed Harry’s arrival at the Potters. He remember the call he received with both James and Regulus crying so much he felt his heart in his throat, but while looking at them for a second he saw joy in their eyes and understood that their baby was coming home without even them saying it. That phone call has a very special place in Sirius heart.
Besides that, Sirius missed a lot about James and Regulus too. That time when James was so desperate after a big fight with Effie, Sirius wasn’t there to help or even just hold James tightly, he just watched Regulus do just that during their FaceTime call that lasted about six hours straight.
He wasn’t there either when Reggie locked himself in the bathroom for hours because of such a big panic attack that he couldn’t see anything around himself except for big black spots. He was doubting himself being a good dad and Sirius had to remind him countless times that he wasn’t Orion and Harry was lucky to have him as his dad. But trying to be persuasive through a phone was a hard job.
Sirius missed positive things too, happy things even. Like when Regulus found a new, perfect, place for his flower shop and made it something he always dreamed of. Or when James finally had the authorisation to transform his classroom on something he imagined would be perfect for the kids. He made the classroom the most comfortable place in the world, somewhere kids would feel safe and welcomed, calm and appeased. That’s James for you, the sweetest man in the universe, making sure everybody is happy, even more when it’s kids around him. Because this man has enough love in himself for every soul that feels lonely.
So Sirius missed a lot, too much. And he doesn’t want to miss anything anymore. He wants to live every moment with his three most important people, he wants to hold Reggie when he needs him, he wants to laugh with James until they cry, he wants to see every second that Harry grows up.
He wants more than that. He wants everything. Sirius wants to eat the world. His little own world, not the big one.
Existing around his loved ones is what Sirius was made for.
If Sirius knew what to expect of the next few months from now in this little town he loves so much, he would have sprinted straight out of the plane. Probably tripped on his way to hug his family but James surely would have caught him before the ground does, right?