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Thor considers lying. He contemplates ignoring all the instances, all the pleading looks Mother would give Father whenever their weaponsmaster reported Loki’s use of seidr, tries to forget Loki’s excited face falling at the look of apprehension directed towards him, all the times Father punished Loki for something they did together. He knows he doesn’t want to lie to his brother, but those wide eyes stare at him, waiting for an answer, waiting to be told he is mistaken, waiting to be loved and, and, and he wants to reassure Loki that their father loves him, just as him and Mother do. He wants to tell Loki that Father doesn’t look scared whenever he play fights with his brother. He wants to tell him that he remembers Father bringing Loki home, that Mother had never talked about a baby before she introduced him as his sibling that day. He wants to tell him that he will always be there for him, will always love him.
“I don’t know, brother,” he answers and positions himself to keep his brother close, his small body desperately attempting to become big, impenetrable and strong, desperately trying to provide comfort.
Loki’s lower lip wobbles and Thor feels like someone is ripping his heart right out.
He has a lapful of Loki in the blink of an eye, big green eyes welling with tears. Though he has witnessed many children weep, he never knew how much it would ache to see his younger brother in such a state. Loki’s cries make him feel as though he has failed him somehow.
“What is wrong with me?” Loki says in the smallest voice and Thor can’t help but cry a little too. How did he let this occur? Even though he had vowed to always protect his brother, he has been unable to keep him safe from his father’s disdain.
“I’m sorry,” Thor wipes his cheeks, “I’m so sorry, Lo.” He tries to comfort him, but it’s still not enough, so he attempts a tactic he’s seen all the adults like Freyr and Freya do. He removes his hands and repeatedly plants a kiss on Loki’s cheeks. Instead of talking, he keeps moving his lips all over Loki’s face, trying to press all the love he could muster into them. Loki gives a wet giggle when they touch his own lips, so Thor does just that again.
He stops when Loki’s tears have fully disappeared, and they look at each other for a little while, until Loki yawns because he hasn’t had his afternoon nap yet.
“Loki?” Thor murmurs against his hair, tightening his hold.
“What?” He mumbles back, eyes already drooping.
“Sleep. I shall carry you back.”
He won’t let him cry. He will never forgive himself if he sees his brother cry again.