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It all started with a sleepover—with peanut butter and apples, and their third movie of the night. Langa’s mother had leaned in awkwardly to say goodnight a few hours ago and left them with the snack.
This wasn’t their first sleepover but it was the first time at Langa’s house and something was inexplicably different, though no better or worse.
It was probably around one in the morning when they finally dug into the snack. Reki laughed as he took a bite. “I never would have thought to eat these together, how did she think of this?”
“I dunno, she’s been making it since I was a kid,” Langa said with a shrug. He took an apple slice, scooped up a large dollop of peanut butter and proceeded to miss his mouth.
At first, he thought he might be able to play it off, say he was tired or whatever. But the look on Reki’s face was priceless. He brought his hand up to his face to wipe away the mess but he had severely underestimated the damage.
Reki burst out laughing, “Dude!” he yelped, “you just spaced out so hard.”
Langa sat, still as stone, hand firmly planted to the side of his face as he tried hard to process the situation. But Reki’s laugh was still ringing in his head, and somehow he couldn’t quite focus on anything else.
“Come on,” Reki said, “I’ll get you a towel.”
Before he knew it, Reki’s weight was gone from the bed. Langa’s bedroom felt empty without him. He pulled his hand away from his face and frowned. Yeah, that was incredibly embarrassing.
He just had time to register how awkwardly he was sitting in his own bed—blankets covering only his calves and feet, face covered in peanut butter, and the movie was still playing—before Reki returned. He had a wad of toilet paper in one hand, partially dampened. Instead of throwing them at Langa, he climbed onto the bed and shuffled to Langa on his knees, knocking the laptop shut on the way. With the sound of the movie suddenly cut off, the room was now strangely quiet.
Reki came closer, settling in front of him with his knees on either side of Langa’s. Somewhere in the back of Langa’s mind, he acknowledged that the vibe in the room had shifted slightly into less bro-like territory. He leaned back into his pillows as Reki brought the damp tissue to his face with one hand. Then, clearly deeming the peanut butter a formidable opponent, he cupped Langa’s face in the other to stabilize him.
Langa found himself staring up into Reki’s face as he concentrated, the tip of his tongue sticking out slightly. Langa couldn’t look away, he couldn’t think of a time they’d been this close to each other before. Although that didn’t seem right either. To him, it seemed like he and Reki were always close, always finding a way to be touching each other.
He watched in slow motion as Reki glanced up at him, and then down at his mouth. Sucking in a breath, he tried not to gulp for the air he suddenly needed. His face was inches away. The tissue on his cheek stopped moving. Reki slowly lowered his hands. Nothing else seemed to exist but them. Them, and the bed Langa was sitting in so awkwardly with the covers over his legs. All of a sudden he felt hot.
Reki opened his mouth and Langa could no longer breathe at all. His chest felt so tight it might explode. He watched, entranced, as Reki’s tongue flicked over the corner of his lip. An unconscious motion, like he didn’t know what to say either.
Reki’s eyes met his again and there was something new in them but before Langa could even gather his thoughts, Reki was glancing down at his mouth again. The feeling in his chest gave a tug. Reki breathed out, rocking forward on his knees slightly. His breath was hot on Langa’s face.
“Can I kiss you?” He whispered.
It shook him more than he would have liked to admit. He curled his hands into fists by his sides, the tips of his fingers cold against his hot palms.
He lifted his head a millimeter and found that Reki was so much closer than before, though seconds ago he had thought that was impossible. And before Reki could draw back and escape, he grabbed at his shirt sleeve. He wasn’t even sure how he was able to move at all but it seemed to be instinct to keep Reki close.
At first nothing happened. Reki stared into Langa’s face blankly, like he, too, was unable to comprehend the situation.
“Yes,” whispered Langa, but it didn’t come out the way he wanted. It was too breathy, needy.
He hardly had time to think about that because the next second they were careening toward each other.
But the crash never came. Reki’s lips on his felt so different from what he had expected, although before that moment he’d never even considered what they might feel like. They were wildly soft despite Reki always biting them open, and Langa sank into the feeling of kissing him like it was the most familiar thing in the world. His eyes drifted shut and he didn’t even notice that his other hand had come to rest on Reki’s back until he was pulling him closer. A little awkwardly, Reki came to rest on Langa’s lap.
Langa had never kissed anyone before but now it felt as though he could do it forever. Reki was soft and warm in his lap and his mouth—his mouth was intoxicating.
When Reki pulled back to draw breath Langa found himself chasing the feeling.
He blinked, once, twice, as the room came back into view. Then looked up at Reki who was still perched on his lap, hands on Langa’s shoulders, fingers just barely grazing the exposed skin around the collar of his t-shirt.
The overhead light lit Reki’s bright hair up so that it glowed around him in an ethereal kind of way. He was so beautiful. And Langa suddenly needed Reki to know it too.
He reached out a hand and took a lock of red between his fingers, curling it between them.
“Your hair,” he said. Reki laughed, he must have sounded ridiculous but Langa found himself, again, entranced by the sound. He stared up at Reki’s face and wondered how he could have missed this before. “You’re lovely,” he said.
“You too,” said Reki, still laughing, and he poked Langa’s cheek. But then the corners of his lips dropped and he dropped his head so their foreheads were touching. “Was that ok?” he asked.
Langa nodded, unable to say anything more. He let his hand rest on Reki’s cheek and his heart nearly skipped a beat when Reki turned his head into it.
“There’s still peanut butter on your hand.” Reki said, finally.
This time, they both burst out laughing.