Chapter Text
Camp Halfblood was more quiet than usual. Its been that way for a few months now. Since Percy returned from Tartarus. Without Annabeth. The first couple of Days he acted normal. He joked around with his friends, did mock fights in the Arena and teached the new Campers Sword fighting. But over time he grew more and more distand. It started with him stopping the training with younger campers. Then the mock fights stopped and soon his laugh wasn´t heard anymore. The only time most saw him was at lunch, but that also stopped soon. His friends first visited him, Tried to help and even got Apollo to visit but nothing seemed to help. The dark circles around Percys eyes grew, so did his scars. And he soon stopped wearing shirts, only walking around in hoddies. While his scars and dark circles grew bigger, Percy started to become thinner. Apollo and Will literally had to force feed him Ambrosia. While they did so, Nico would hover in a corner. He´d watch as Percys Soul slowly start ed to drift, like soft Waves in calm Weather. And Nico grew worried. He didn´t know how to help, what to do. So he stopped visiting. He couldn´t watch his best friend, his saviour die. Even Apollo started to feel Helpless. It wasn´t Percys Body that needed healing. It was his Soul.
It was another restless Night for Percy as he was being tortured in Tartarus in his dreams and he just wished it would be over. That he would be with Annabeth again. He wanted to be gone. And then.. it suddendly stopped. The Nightmare ended and for the first time in months he fell into a silent dream. A dream where he was floating. And he thought... he thought that it finally was over. But the next morning he awakes. More rested, more alive than he felt in ages. But he also wanted to cry. Why.. Why was he still there. Why couldn`t this torture end. He knew that the dramless sleep he had was just a faux and that this night his personal Nightmare would come again. And so the scars on his body grew.
But it didn´t come as expected. No Nightmare. No Dream of Tartarus. Just a blissfull sleep, like he was floating. And it happend again and again. For Weeks on Tartarus didn´t come back and he started to wonder... is someone helping me? Or is this just my last Bliss before dying. And when he wakes up the next Day, with yet another Dreamless Night, he asks: Who are you?". Truthfully he wasn´t expecting an answer but for the first time in weeks, he sat up non the less and glanced around the Cabin.
"Someone Interested in your wellbeing child of the sea." A smooth voice answers behind him. And Percy? Percy froze. He never heard that voice. It felt gentle, like a balm on his Soul and he wanted to cry. Cry from just hearing that voice. "Why?", he asks bluntly, his voice breathless, without life. He refused to turn around. Why would someone help him? When he didn´t deserve it. When he was so weak? "You can´t do all that and not have an agenda." Percy knew he was talking to someone powerfull, a god, a deity, but he couldn´t bring himself to care. So what if he was a God and got angry? Percy didn´t care anymore if he died.
"I´m not here for anything Child of the Sea. I mean no Harm. You simply asked who I was. And I simply am someone interested in your wellbeing Child." The deitys voice was still gentle and Percy heard steps, soon the deity was infront of him. He had white, wavy chin lenght hair, red eyes, Pale skin, slender fingers. It wasn´t what Percy expected from the voice he heard, but it still seemed fitting. The deity looked ancient, powerfull and for a second he was scared the deity will harm him. That was till he rememberd he didn´t care.
"That didn´t answer my question." Percy remarks and stares at the white haired man infron of him. The deity was in the same way, staring back at Percy. Percy was scrawny, thin, he looked like a walking... well sitting corpse and the deity couldn´t help but sadly frown at the Child infront of him. "My Name is Bael. I come from the Underworld, Hell." He answers and Percy can´t help letting out a snarky remark. "Are you here to punish me then Bael? Take me to Hell and torture me?"
The deity, Bael lets out a soft chuckle. "You´re thinking about the wrong Hell Child of the Sea. The Hell I am from is different. It has levels. Nine to be percise. You get assigend to a level, depending on what you did, the first two levels are even just therapy levels. And if you work hard enough you have a chance at rebirth, to gain your paradise." Bael explains slowly and in a soft tone. At the mention of levels and the chance of rebirth Percy perks up, "So.. you don´t just.. get punished and tortured for eternity?"
The gods expression softens slightly. "Some do, some never see the wrong in their ways. But some people only land in Hell, because they weren´t able to process their Trauma. Not able to accept their Paradise. So.. they come down and get therapy and get better. And then they go onto rebirth." At that, Percy lets out a dry, lifeless chuckle. "Therapy in hell.." He laughs yet again before he can stop himself and then he looks at the deity. Really looks at him and his expression softens slightly. "Damn. You make me want to go to hell."
Bael frowns softly at Percy. "Child. You do not need to go to hell to be able to have therapy." he explains. Percy tenses up at the words and shakes his head, glancing away. "No, I´m not-" He stops and takes a deep breath in. His throat feels dry, this was the most he talked in Weeks. "I don´t need therapy. There´s nothing wrong with me." Exept the nightmares, the panic attaks, the flashbacks, the self- destructive tendencies-
Before Percy can think more of it, Bael speaks again. "Percy. Needin therapy doesn´t mean there is anything wrong with you.", he starts to explain softly. "It means that you are strong enough to overcome things that happend to you. It means to acknowledge that you can´t change the things that happend in the past, but being able to let go of that weight." The deity is quite for a second before adding something, "Being in therapy doesn´t mean you´re broken, or that you need to be fixed. It means healing, Trauma is like a cut, but instead of the cut being on your skin it´s on your soul. And instead of putting a Bandage on it, you heal it with therapy."
Percy doesn´t look at Bael as he listens to his words, his hands clenching into fists. He´s never heard anyone describe it like this before and can´t help but wonder if you´re right. "I.." Percys voice was low and hoarse. "It´s just.. I can´t talk about them.. about her, without remembering again and.." He cuts himself off and shudders. Bael walks over, next to Percy, gently putting his hand on the Childs shoulder. Percy flinches slightly but doesn´t pull away. "Who says you need to talk about it? You can write about it or draw about it. You even can talk about something completly else. You can talk aboout what you ate that day or what you read or watched." Baels voice is soft as he talks to Percy, grounding him with his hand on his shoulder.
"Why.. Why do you care Bael?" Percy has to hold back tears at the gentle touch of the god, the deity. "Why me?". "I´m a guide for lost souls Percy. I see your soul, drifting away with the waves. Drifting to a place it doesn´t want to leave. Your Soul is hurt from all that you have endured. Seeking it´s relife. For a way to heal. And every Soul deserves to heal. But your´s is drifting in the wrong direction. And i´m here to guide it the right way."
The fact that a deity would think everyone deserves to heal... A wave of emotion washes over Percy, making him feel like he´s drowning all over again. And at the same time, Percy has never felt so seen, so known. He wants to run, to push Bael away. To remind himself that he didn´t deserve help. That he wasn´t worth it.. but he can´t. "I-" He lets out a shaky breath and clenches his jaw to keep himself from breaking down completly. "How... How do I get better?"
A soft smile grazes over Baels pale lips as he answers. "You start by wanting to heal Percy. The first step to heal is wanting it."