Chapter Text
Warm…everything felt warm. The warmth was embracing me, it was so gentle, like a mother’s hug. But that couldn’t be right though, the last time I remembered being conscious Strade was violently fucking me with his hands tightly wrapped around my neck and a knife plunged into my stomach..oh..that was it. I’d been losing too much air or maybe even the blood, that might have been why i had passed out..
But that still didn’t explain the warmth that surrounded my body in the moment…So I attempted to move my hands a bit, attempting to rub my fingertips against each other as my senses started coming back to me..I started to smell a fresh smell and started hearing sounds of scrubbing, I felt the warm, gentle temperature of the liquid surrounding my skin, my bare skin.
Bare ? I had been naked ? Jeez, why couldn’t i just catch a break for once…it pissed me off.
Then, just then was I able to slightly open his eyes..it was bright, but out of everything, id noticed the caramel colored man leaning over what seemed to be a tub. Strade. He stuck out in the kind of way cake stood out in a table of salads..he stood out to me..the warm, family like house. The one you’d see in a Disney movie. He stood out to me because i knew what kind of man he was, i knew what he did, how horrible he was..he was nothing like the family like home he lived in, nothing like the bathroom he had me resting in.
I tried to speak up, but my throat hurt to let out anything more than a meek little whimper..I made the sound anyways, wondering if the older mam would even notice me..
“..ah..mgh..”
I could barely produce any sound, but it seemed like the man noticed anyways, he turned his head to me and looked down at my slim figure- Ever since being here, my weight and health had drastically declined, i got really thin from not eating as much as i used to…but i guess it was a little better, i hated being stared at for my weight, so being thinner and locked away made me felt less insecure..that and Strade’s weirdness to holding me..it made me feel slightly better but-
“Oh ? You’re finally awake ! It only took you a couple hours this time. But..y’know..you still look tired, I don’t want you falling asleep on me. Then you wouldn’t be paying much attention to my words.”
The man cut off my train of thought by his heavy accented voice..he spoke english very well, but every time he spoke English, it sounded unnatural and forced..sometimes id catch him speaking in his mother language, it sounded a lot smoother and it sounded like it was meant to be. I sat there thinking about his voice for a moment, until he grabbed my hair and roughly dunked my head into the water, holding it under for a while.
His grasp was tight and he hardly gave me a chance to breathe before dunking me into the water. The soapy water was quick to fill up my nose, leading me to breathe it in when i tried for air
I kicked my legs as much as i could, but it was slightly hard with the small space of the tub and how he had me hunched over.
He started bobbing my head, slightly enough so i could cough up some water…though it didn’t last much longer before he shoved my head back under, this time leaving my ears out so i could hear him talk
“Are you listening to me now ?, in sure the water woke you up quite a bit, didn’t it liebling ?”
He finally pulled my head out, letting go as he leaned back, watching me cough and choke on the water, trying to get my air back…my chest hurt a lot, it felt like my body had been filled up with water like a sponge, just to be squeezed out a few moments later..but my few moments had felt like an eternity..
I looked up at Strade..i noticed the dark red flushing his cheeks..god, was he really getting off to that the whole time ? It made me feel humiliated…
I didn’t want that again..it hurt like hell, so i decided to finally answer him..
“I-..oh..im listening now…sorry..”
I watched as he grinned wide..god how i hated that smile of his..the one that he used to trick me months ago..the one that led me to being in the house in the first place.
“Good.”
He spoke firmly as he sat up
“As i was going to say, I’m leaving for a while tonight, the neighbors invited me over. Im going to be back late, so you better not mess around with anything while I’m gone. If you do. I’ll know.”
I tensed up a bit..Strade was hardly ever gone, this would be new...maybe i could take my chance to look around a bit more..
I waited for Strade to finally finish washing me up, he was being so rough with it, soap got in my eye a lot...But it was over soon, thank god...if there even is one. I wish he'd come save me already.
After changing, i decided to finally speak up.
"Can i go to sleep now ?..Please..?"
My voice was shaking...i wasn't sure why. Maybe it was because i was happy he was leaving for a bit. I'm happy the neighbors had invited him over...
"Fine. But you better be actually sleeping...Or you're going back in the basement."
That scared me a bit, i think it was obvious because i flinched, i know he noticed, i saw the was a grin crept upon his face...but i tried to ignore it...quickly scurrying off to the small bedroom i had, it used to be some random room that Strade would toss junk into, but now it was mine. So i walked over to my little bed and rested myself on it, gazing out the window. I went to lean back, but when i touched the wall, the collar around my neck made me uncomfortable, so i just sat up straight again...I forgot i had been wearing it.
I sighed and looked into my lap, looking at my bandaged legs, the off-white color of the gauze matched the color of my outfit (A white tank top with light blue frills and a tiny bow, along with plain white underwear and lettuce trim socks). I fiddles with the bandages for a moment before closing my eyes...i was so excited to look around when Strade said he was going to leave, but all of a sudden i just wanted to be in my room...I didn't really feel like a good idea anymore.
I started to look out the window again, looking at the sky before whispering to myself.
"...God...if you're really there like everyone says...please...come save me.."
Suddenly, my eyes began to feel heavy and my grip on my clothes got looser, I was finally falling asleep..i was glad, that was until my dream.
Ever since a little bit after Strade had kidnapped me, I've been having this same nightmare where I'm so close to escaping, where i got out of the collar, I've opened the door, but when i go to leave...i just cant. I freeze up at the doorway and i cant seem to leave. And then i just stand there, waiting. I always see this figure approaching me, its dark so i cant see who it is. But every time the figure comes into view, i wake up.
And that's what happened, I woke up...I was all sweaty and my hands were trembling, i hated when i sweated in the winter, it made no sense to me at all. Its so cold out, how could I be sweating ? It just made no sense to me at all...
"...ugh..."
I let out a small huff in annoyance, getting up ad stripping myself of all clothes, tonight was bad, i was really soaked this time...Id probably have to change my bandages with how bad it was. I started to take off all of my bandages, standing in front of my full body mirror, starring at my scarred body, before being here i had a problem with cutting, i went to mental hospital a few times, but it never really worked...but being here restricted me of all sharp objects, and i wasn't really fond of the idea of scratching into my skin...
I walked over to my nightstand, grabbing a few rolls of gauze, i knew i would need more than one roll, i needed it to be thick and i needed a lot to cover all of my cuts, i really hated how they looked...they looked ugly. I hated the way they would become keloid scars...it reminded me of how pathetic it was taking care of my struggles like that.
I wrapped my body up tightly before finding a simple outfit to put on, I grabbed a t shirt that was too big and slipped on a new pair of boxers. The shirt was a navy blue, while the boxers were just black. Most of my shirts were too big unless they were tank tops, but aside from those, all of my others shirts were just Strade's old shirts. My pants were always just shorts and boxers, I'm not sure why Strade made that decision for me, but it was whatever..
After getting ready i was finally ready to face Strade...I didn't really want to, want to see him...but i didn't really have much of a choice. So i finally called out his name while peering out of my room, looking around and listening for any sounds of movement.
"..hehe.."
I heard a little chuckle from the other room before it opened slowly, and there he was, standing up tall, looking down at me.
"Need me already ?" He spoke very smugly...I hated when he did that, it reminded me of how much i needed him in this situation. If he never took me out of the basement, i might've been left down there for dead. Though, i never got why he kept me...that was never really clear.
I pushed my thoughts aside before speaking up again, "I just...wanted to let you know that im awake..." I said, slightly mumbling while i spoke. Strade hated when i mumble, he already looked annoyed by it, and maybe that i just woke him up...but he didn't say anything about it. He let out a small nod, letting me know i can leave my room, so i did. I took a step out and looked up at him, waiting for him to speak again..but he never did, he just looked at my body up and down before he silently went back into his bed. Soon enough i heard his bed creaking...he probably went back to bed.
That was strange to me, he always had something to say or do to me...i thought i was strange. But i decided to take the chance to downstairs and watch tv. I liked watching this one show that came on early in the morning. Usually Strade would do something, so i'd always be late to the show...it was annoying how i always missed it, but there was nothing i could do. But today i can finally watch it !
I smiled as i quickly rushed down the stairs, going to the living room and reaching for the remote, turning on the Tv and clicking to my channel.
The show soon started and i watched it closely, paying deep attention to it...I really wanted to cherish this since i never got to watch stuff this early...so I did...i spent the next 21 minutes watching the show...I had hardly noticed it was close to being done...but when the credits started rolling, i got sad. the time flew so fast, so instead i tried to think of something else.
I soon started thinking about Strade again, it was super strange about what he did this morning...but so what ? As long as he left me alone i'd feel better..
Grumble
I flinched a bit, my stomach...I'd forgotten to eat breakfast...
I quickly got up and walked into the kitchen, reaching for the cabinet and grabbing a loaf bread and walking to the fridge to grab jam before tossing them both on the counter, but still being carefull so that i didn't break the glass of the jam...That would be a whole other problem...
I grabbed a plate and placed my pieces of bread on it, i was starving and i didn't really feel like waiting for the bread to toast up. And then i started to spread the jam on with a spoon (Since i wasn't allowed anything that could be used as any weapon.) Before placing another piece of bread on top of that one, making some sort of sandwich.
I tied up the bread and put it back in the cabinet and then i put the jam back in the fridge before turning back to my food.
"Finally.." I muttered. "I'm so hungry: I whined a bit when i spoke. Strade hated whining, but he wasn't down here to criticize me for once. As i ate, i just couldn't stop thinking about our interaction...it was so strange. But i just prayed he wasn't planning anything...I really hoped he wasn't.
I was quick to return to the couch and continue watching Tv, I was able to watch a few more episodes..But I started to wonder why Strade hadnt come down yet..it was started to get later into the day with how many more things i watched on the Tv...
What was he doing ?