Chapter Text
When Jayce woke up, the sun was already shining through the windows of the tent he's inhabiting. He had no idea how sunlight even got down there. They were literally living in the ass crack of Zaun. Maybe it was just for the morning atmosphere.
Anyway, he got up and got ready for his day, which usually consisted of him doing absolutely nothing. Or killing children, occasionally, but that was more of a hobby. Since his lab partner became full-time Jesus and he didn't want to become a weapon manufacturer, he decided to follow him to his new cult like a lost puppy.
Viktor was ready and waiting for him outside. His outfit consisted of that blanket Jayce gave to him once, socks and sandals. Despite the fact that he looked like purple guy from fnaf in a toga with a nice haircut and questionable footwear choices, Jayce could almost feel something gloriously evolving in his pants.
Viktor recognized that look in his eyes. “Do not make me send you to horny jail again, Jayce. We have work to do.”
Jayce put on his typical puppy dog eyes. They always work on Viktor.
He received a glare from him. “And do not even start doing that. I am still recovering from that one time you decided it was a good idea to shove a hexcrystal up my ass, so if you ever decide to pull that again-”
“Okay, okay, yes, I understand. No more hexcrystals.”
He was interrupted by the sound of an explosion somewhere in the distance. They both turned around to find the source of the noise, but could only see a cloud of colorful smoke.
“Hm. She is late.” Viktor commented.
A few other explosions followed, this time not so far away. They could hear loud music in the distance, and the sound was getting closer and closer. A few fireworks went off. When the song was playing almost in front of them, a small bomb blew up basically at their feet and filled the air with blue smoke and confetti, making it impossible for the doomed yaoi couple to see anything. When the smoke cleared, they could see a half-eaten circus tent riding a rhinoceros. Viktor didn’t appear nearly as baffled as Jayce did.
“Good morning, Powder.” Viktor took a step to the side to dodge as the figure immediately jumped at him.
“I’m not Powder. Unlike your ASSISTANT!” she yelled at him from the ground.
“Is that- why is she here!?” Jayce turned to his Jesus boyfriend.
Viktor tried to open his mouth, but he was interrupted by the newcomer, who rose back to her feet. “It's me, your vile villainess, the author of your nightmares, the dread of your-”
“Yes,” this time, it was Jayce interrupting. “I know who you are, Jinx! What I’m asking is what the hextech is she doing here??!.”
The question was obviously directed at his partner and Jinx appeared visibly annoyed by not being the center of attention. She didn’t let Viktor speak.
“Anyway,” she shook the remaining dust off her clothes, “I came here to tell you that you look like an old dude with that grey hair, but I didn’t expect this dirty hairy hobo with a hammer to be here too. You two look like an old divorced couple. He should like shoot you with a hammer or something at this point.”
Viktor gave Jayce a side eye. Jayce glared at him at first, but then he just pouted and left no comment. It was probably better to not go into the details of their relationship.
Viktor cleared his throat. “You should not be the one talking about relationships when your boyfriend is named what? Eco? Echo? Not to mention, your father’s name is quite similar to silicone. Oh, I apologize, was. I forgot you’re fatherless three times.”
“Well you’re one to talk. You should be called V-ick-tor.”
“Erm, and you look like someone whose emo sister has intercourse with the local dictator in a prison cell she previously helped you escape from.”
“AND YOU HAVE A BOYFRIEND NAMED GAYCE, YOU- you’re not even a fortune cookie, you’re more like some kind of FUTURE BISCUIT!”
Jayce wanted to stand up for his fortune cookie boyfriend, but he seemed to be handling the situation on his own, so he just took Viktor’s hand in his and reassuringly squeezed it. Suddenly something that might’ve been a little kid or a feral animal shot up from somewhere under Jinx’s legs and bit down into Jayce’s hand. He let go of Viktor and started waving his hand in the air, trying to get that thing to let go. Viktor surprisingly appeared quite flabbergasted. Jinx started grinning.
“Good job, Isha!” She turned to Viktor, ignoring Jayce’s desperate attempts to free his hand of Isha’s teeth. “I’m trying to teach her to be homophobic. Looks like she’s progressing.”
Viktor exasperatedly sighed. “Could you perhaps tell her to let go of-”
He was once again interrupted by Jinx, who gasped dramatically and pointed at his feet. “And WHAT ARE THOSE?! Are you wearing SOCKS IN YOUR SANDALS?????”
Viktor, who previously looked absolutely unbothered by the situation, suddenly seemed very offended because of that statement. “No prosím?!” He put his hands on his hips. “Urážej si mě jak chceš, ty káčo pitomá, ale tohle je součást ČESKÉ KULTURY a na tu já teda nedopustím. Jen abys věděla, ponožky v sandálech jsou vysoce praktická-”
“ISHAAAAAA!” Jinx shouted and turned to her daughter.
Jayce resigned in his attempts to get Isha off himself and just held his arm as far from his body as he could. She was just hanging in the air now, held up only by the impressive strength of her teeth. When Jinx signalled to her with her arm, she instantly perked up. Jinx pointed at Viktor, who was still rambling something in his native language. To Jayce’s instant relief, Isha finally let go of his arm, but then he started panicking again when she jumped at Viktor instead. She tackled him and started clawing at his face.
“Wha-” Viktor tried to get her off, but she was very persistent. They started fighting, and despite Isha being like three times smaller, nobody seemed to be winning. The little girl apparently had a lot of energy, and she was currently using it all on the poor machine herald. Jayce realised he should probably do something, so he decided to start panicking. His eyes darted around the place and landed on his hammer, which was standing next to him, like always.
“Uhh… V? You need any help there?”
“I’m- hey- handling this on my own, thank you very much.”
It definitely didn’t look like it. Jayce eyed his hammer one more time and tried to get his brain to think. In that moment, Viktor finally managed to get Isha to let go of him and held her up in the air as he was laying on his back. She was kicking and attempting to bite his fingers. Jayce saw his opportunity, picked the hammer up and aimed it at her.
Viktor glared at him from the ground. “The audacity to point that thing at me after what-”
Jayce would facepalm if both his hands weren’t gripping the handle of the hammer. “I’m pointing it at her, so shut up and just let me-”
“Oh god. You’re doing this again? I told you to stop killing children in your free time. It makes people… nervous. And I lose potential followers.”
“Well what else are you suggesting we do then?!”
While they were arguing, Jinx sighed and leaned back against the railing. Isha’s actions didn’t make her worried at all; she knew these two were too busy bickering like an old married couple to actually do anything to her. Her assumption was proven wrong when Jayce aimed his hammer one more time, and this time Viktor seemed to be cooperating, because he turned over and held Isha against the ground. Jinx didn’t even have time to interfere before Jayce blasted a blast from the hammer straight at her.
It took a while for the dust to settle. When it did, Viktor was standing up, rubbing his eyes to recover from the intense light. Jayce put the hammer down.
“Well, that’s that.”
“What do you mean that’s that?” Jinx looked at him with disbelief. “You just- you just killed my daughter!”
Jayce almost looked guilty for a moment, but his thought process was interrupted by Viktor’s quiet chuckle. Jinx angrily turned to face him, looking like she’s about to nail him to a cross. Viktor looked down at the little pile of dust laying at his feet.
“Well… Look who’s ‘Powder’ now.”
Jinx stared down at the pile wide eyed for a few more seconds, before glaring back up at the pair of scientists. Her pink eyes seemed to glow more than usual, and Jayce could swear he saw her fingers twitching to get the gun on her belt. His own fingers tightened around the hammer handle, determined to not let her get away if she tries to blow them up again. Jinx opened her mouth as if to shout at them, then closed it again.
“I won't let you get away with this.” She finally said, turned around on her heel and stomped away, her braids angrily swaying behind her with every step. Before disappearing behind one of the tents, she turned around one more time.
“You two will pay for that!” she shouted back at them and got out of their sight.
Viktor and Jayce just stood there in silence for a while. Jayce finally decided to break it.
“So… What are we going to do with that rhinoceros?”