Chapter Text
Min-su didn't say a word after the Mingle game. He felt so ashamed that he had betrayed Se-mi, even though it was purely out of panic. When he glances at her, she's already looking at him, but then she looks away.
Suddenly, Min-su was engulfed in a huge hug, stumbling slightly.
"I'M SO HAPPY TO SEE YOU AGAIN, BRO," Thanos exclaims, patting Min-su's back roughly, making him uncomfortable. Nam-gyu begins to go on and on about how much Min-su impressed him when he pulled out scissors during Rock-Paper-Scissors in the Mingle game. It only made him feel more like shit, but he said nothing. Thanos and Nam-gyu were practically always touching him. It pissed him off, but he never ever spoke up about it. 'Pussy' he'd internally call himself.
The three sat as a trio by one of the bunks, Min-su not at all contributing to the conversation, meanwhile Thanos and Nam-gyu blabbered on and on, probably both high on Thanos' drugs. Min-su hated that they were always high. They were the at least the slightest bit tolerable when they were both sober. Min-su wished he could speak up and stand up for himself, but he just couldn't; it's how it has always been with him; complying with just about anything out of really just anxiety. He hated himself for it. He, himself, even found it just as pathetic as everybody else did. A grown man not being able to stand up for himself, what a joke.
Min-su sat, cross-legged and lost in thought as Nam-gyu and Thanos continued to obnoxiously chat. (Min-su wanted to tear both of their throats open and watch them bleed out, a slow, agonizing death.) Min-su was pulled out of his rabbit hole of thoughts as he felt a hand touch his thigh. He flinched, blinking a few times, then his body tensed up. He hesitantly looked at the hand then looked up slightly to see a smug looking Thanos. He heard Nam-gyu, who sat across the two, begin to snicker. Min-su looked back down at his lap, hiding his face which heated up, and his eyes that began to tear up. Was this just to mock him? To make fun of him? What was the reason?
Min-su, with a shaky hand, mustered the courage to hesitantly and carefully remove Thanos' hand from his thigh. He let out a shuddered breath, which was practically muted by the fit of laughter Thanos and Nam-gyu broke into.
"Min-suuuu, my boyyyy, I'm jus' messin' aroundddd," Thanos roughly patted his back, drawing his words out. Min-su tried his best to hold back his tears. 'Pussy'.
"Remember, Min-su, just one more game, okay?" Nam-gyu nodded encouragingly, pushing Min-su forward as his number, 125, was called to cast a vote.
As Min-su made his way through the crowd of players who parted the way, and up to the voting stand, he took one small glance at Se-mi, who was, again, already looking straight at him. Her expression showed no anger. It was soft, just as it had always been towards only him from the time she'd met him at the beginning of the second game. He felt his heart warm just a little, feeling a bit more secure about his vote.
Min-su stood at the voting stand. His hand went to press 'O', but then he hesitated, his hand hovering over the button.
"What's he doing?" Thanos whispered to Nam-gyu, who just shrugged.
"Don't worry about it, man, I already talked to him before he went up there," Nam-gyu spoke, with a smug smirk, to which Thanos returned the look.
"Alright, alright," replied Thanos. Though their smirks both dropped as Min-su pressed down on the red 'X' button, a buzzing sound erupting from it.
Min-su's hands began to shake a bit after he'd made his decision. He couldn't tell whether it was from anxiety or adrenaline. Probably both. With shaky hands, he tore off his blue 'O' label, which was made out of Velcro, causing a ripping sort of sound as he tore it off. The guards in the pink jumpsuits and strange masks presented him a new label, a red one with an 'X'. Though he was aware this probably very much pissed Thanos and Nam-gyu off, he couldn't help but feel a bit satisfied. After all, they'd pushed Min-su to his limit by now. He was already beyond pissed and it felt good disobeying them for once. He couldn't help but smile a bit. He glanced at Se-mi as he turned around and headed toward the 'X' side. She was smiling at him, a closed mouth and sincere smile. It felt good making her proud. After all, she was the only one in this damn place who actually cared about him, and oh, how he cared for her. How stupid of a decision; betraying her like that. Min-su hopes to make it up to her sometime soon.
The voting ended in a tie, meaning there would be a revote tomorrow. Min-su's plan was to just hideout on the 'X' side of the room and avoid Thanos and Nam-gyu at all costs. That plan was shattered shortly as Min-su was stopped, a hand firmly placed on his shoulder from behind, stopping him from walking. Min-su felt a chill run up his spine and a pang of anxiety, making him feel all weird and queasy.
"Min-su, my boyyy," Thanos' voice drew out, sounding cheerful at first. It threw Min-su off. How could he be all cheery after what Min-su had just done? Min-su's internalized question was answered in a short moment as Thanos' tone completely changed. "So, what the fuck was that?" Sure, Thanos was annoying and generally a bit intimidating, but he had never spoken to Min-su like that. He felt fearful, hesitantly turning to face the purple-haired man.
"What was what...?" Min-su idiotically replied, mentally cursing himself for having such a dumb reply.
"The fuck kinda question is that?" Thanos replied, aggressively, shoving Min-su back a bit, the smaller stumbling back, but catching himself. He regained his composure and attempted to stand his ground, but that was quite literally impossible to do when he felt like nothing compared to Thanos. His legs shook as he tried desperately to appear unafraid. He swallowed hard at Thanos' piercing gaze which looked him up and down, giving Min-su this weird, icky feeling.
"I--I don't want to play these games..." Min-su replied, shuddering, holding firm eye contact with the taller, who scoffed, then glared.
"Do you think I give a FUCK what you want?" Thanos raised his voice, approaching the other closer, causing him to stumble back. Thanos then smirked, "You're not tough; you're fuckin' scared," Min-su felt his face heat up. Thanos then shoved him again, Min-su easily stumbling back, as if a doll. "Fuckin' pathetic," Thanos spat. Min-su felt his eyes water.
"Thanos, stop," Min-su's voice wavered.
"Oh, now I should stop?" Thanos raised his eyebrows, "maybe you should have thought about that before becoming a fuckin' traitor."
Min-su felt tears escape his eyes. He also felt the stares of players nearby the scene, watching from their bunks. 'Fucking crybaby.'
"Who's that kid picking on this time?" Dae-ho muttered to Jung-bae, Gi-hun's group sitting, closely together, witnessing yet another scene caused by Thanos. They all collectively turned to In-ho (who they know as Young-il). In-ho sighed and stood up.
"Kid, will you cut that out?" the older groaned, exasperated, as he approached the two. Thanos paused, took in the man for a second, then sighed.
"You again, gramps?" he rolled his eyes.
"We're all getting sick of your antics. I suggest you go back to your own side. Don't forget how things went the last time." In-ho warned the younger man, who paused, but then glared and walked off back to the 'O' side, leaving a shaky Min-su standing there. In-ho looked at him for a moment.
"Is everything alright?" he asked the shaken up younger man, who simply silently nodded in response.
Min-su then muttered a "Thank you" and walked away, planning to spend the rest of the time hiding behind the tall, stacked bunks. He sat with his knees to his stomach, his arms hugged around them, his head resting on his kneecaps. He didn't want to let himself sleep tonight, fearing what might happen in the night. He considered joining the rest of the group, but his anxiety said, "Fuck that" and he continued to just sit there, getting a few concerned glances now and then from the other 'X's. (He fucking hated their pity. He wanted all of them to die fucking painful and miserable deaths. Except for Se-mi. She's perfect.)
It was going to be 'lights out' in around half an hour or so. Min-su got up from where he'd been sitting for the past hour to use the restroom before the guards lock it. He wasn't as bold as that one elderly lady who had begged the guards that one night to allow her to use the restroom during lights out. Min-su felt his face heat up just at the thought of having to do that. He approached the door leading to the restroom hallways and opened it, stepping into the hallway, walking towards the men's room. Not many people used the restrooms right before lights out. They feared getting locked in there after the lights went out. Min-su thought they were absolutely ridiculous.
He opened the restroom door, stepping into the empty restroom. He preferred when it was empty and not so loud.
Min-su finished using one of the urinals and began to wash up at the sink. There were only hand dryers in the restroom. Min-su hated the loud noise they created, so he used wads of toilet paper to dry his hands instead.
As he proceeded to dry his hands, an unexpected visitor accompanied him.
"Ah, Min-suuu, my boyyy," the voice rang out, causing Min-su to freeze where he was standing. He quickly snapped out of it, turning to Thanos, who had entered the room. Unexpectedly, Min-su quickly replied, "What do you want?" though his tone sounded more panicked rather than fearless. Min-su, himself, didn't even expect to spout that out. Thanos chuckled in response, "Relax, boyyy, don't get so defensiveee," he drew out, but Min-su was still very on edge and on high alert. The two were silent for a moment, just taking in each other's presence. Min-su shuddered, being sure to not let his guard down around the intimidating man.
"Aren't... you going to... do your business...?" Min-su asked, skeptical.
"Why? Wanna watch or somethin'?" Thanos replied, sarcastically, to which Min-su flushed.
"Don't be... weird..." Min-su shivered, but Thanos just had that same sly smirk he always has. Min-su swallowed, then took a step forward, intending on walking past Thanos and out the restroom door. Though he was shortly stopped, Thanos firmly grabbing ahold of his arm, yanking him back, Min-su stumbling back, almost falling over, but regaining his balance. "Th-Thanos, what the fuck," he spouted in a panic.
"Damn, the little runt can curse?" Thanos mocked with a grin, clearly enjoying this.
"Please stop, this- this isn't funny..." Min-su stammered, but Thanos only tightened his grip on the other's arm. Min-su winced.
"I find it very entertaining, though," Thanos replied, snickering. Then he sort of just examined Min-su as you would a sculpture or a painting, making the young man's skin crawl and his stomach churn. "What are you... doing...?" Min-su asked, hesitantly, shrinking back.
"Looking at you," Thanos replied, casually. Min-su squirmed, trying to break his arm free from the other man's hold, but ultimately failing miserably. "You know," Thanos began, "I really did mean it when I said you were cute." his eyes examined him. He was really starting to creep Min-su out now, he showed a clear expression of uncomfortableness and a somewhat mixture of disgust and confusion. "Please stop," Min-su replied, attempting to break his arm free again, but this time Thanos just tightened his grip, causing Min-su to softly gasp in pain. His grip would surely leave bruises where his fingertips pressed so harshly against Min-su's skin.
"Thanos, y-you're hurting me," Min-su gasped, sputtering. He could feel tears welling in his eyes. 'Fucking crybaby'
"Oh, I am, really?" Thanos replied, as if absolutely clueless. There was no doubt that he was surely enjoying seeing the other boy squirm in pain. "Why don't we make this a bit more interesting?" Thanos then said, confusing the hell out of Min-su, as if he weren't already confused enough.
After that, Min-su was roughly slammed against the hard, restroom walls, knocking the air out of him, giving him barely any time to really react. Thanos harshly wrapped a hand around his throat, holding him there. Min-su choked, now clawing at the strong hands that held him firmly in place by his throat. Thanos just grinned, slightly applying more and more pressure, until Min-su's eyes were half-lidded and he was lightheaded and wheezy. The sadistic man snickered at the sight. "Y'know, I think you're even cuter like this," he mocked, pissing Min-su off, the clawing at Thanos' hands getting more aggressive, but still gaining no reaction from the man. "Are you really trying to fight back right now?" Thanos snickered, "God, that's pathetic."
Min-su whimpered, not clawing at his hands anymore, but rather now just silently and pathetically begging for air. Thanos sighed, "Alright, alright, don't want ya passin' out on me before we even begin," he chuckled. What did that mean? Begin what? Thanos applied less pressure, now just holding his neck in place rather than choking the life out of him. Min-su gasped for air, panting. His small gift of 'mercy' didn't last long, unfortunately.
Barely having enough time to regulate his breathing again, Min-su was roughly pulled across the restroom by his wrist and into the biggest stall at the end of the row of them. He screamed but was quickly shut up by a merciless hand clasping over his mouth. "I swear to God, if you bite me or some shit, I'm gonna make this hurt even worse," Thanos warned, his voice low and threatening. Min-su shuddered, his breath a bit more quickened and panicked. "Get on your fucking knees," Thanos ordered. Min-su could've sworn he choked on his own breath. Had he heard that correctly? "You deaf? I said to get on your damn knees," Thanos now roughly pulled his hair, uncovering his mouth, causing him to cry out in pain. Min-su had no choice but to obey.
Min-su got on his knees in front of the man before him, feeling fearful and ashamed. He softly shuddered and whimpered, awaiting what could come next. Once again, a hand wrapped its fingers into his hair, not exactly pulling, but holding a firm grip. Then there was the sound of a zipper. Min-su's breath caught in his throat. There was no way this was happening. This had to be a dream. Soon enough he'd wake up and all of this would be a dream. Soon enough he would wake up and be safe and free of any trauma or hurt. Soon enough he'd wake up and he'd be with Se-mi, and she'd hold him and tell him she forgives him. She'd tell him she loves him and they'd be fine. Everything would be fine. Surely soon he would have to wake up and this torture will have never happened. He'd be able to love, he'd be able to touch, he'd be able to speak his mind and stand up for himself, he wouldn't have to call himself a pussy anymore. He and Se-mi would get out of here together and she'd be the only person he would ever care about ever again in his entire lifetime, and he'd be hers. Though his desperate thoughts were interrupted with a dick shoved into his mouth.
"That's it... mmn..." Thanos groaned, letting his head hang back. If Min-su refused to suck, Thanos would give a harsh pull to his hair, making his eyes water more than they did already as he choked on Thanos' length. Thanos forcefully shoved himself deeper into his mouth, not giving a shit whether Min-su was choking or whether he was in pain or not. Min-su was a 27-year-old virgin. Sad, isn't it? Not really, no, because he really didn't mind it at all and truly didn't give a shit if he were to never have sex in his entire lifetime. He just really didn't care for it like a lot of young adults do. Though what he did know was that sex was supposed to be a thing shared between partners who both loved each other very much. It was supposed to be a very romantic thing that connected partners even closer to each other than they were in the first place. Never was it supposed to be like this. No, not this terrible; not forced; not unwanted; not unbearable, not at all.
Min-su whimpered around his thick length, sending another groan out of Thanos. "Mmmnh... God, you're doing so well~..." he praised, and though the words sounded sweet and encouraging, they made Min-su feel absolutely disgusting. Every groan dragged out of Thanos reminded Min-su of what he was doing, making it impossible to drift away from reality and space out. It made it impossible for his subconscious to protect him. Every praise reminded him of what he was doing.
'It's all your fault.' 'Whore.' 'Slut.' 'Look what you're doing to him.' 'All your fault.' 'Pussy.' "Bitch.' 'Disgusting.'
Sometimes Min-su wished he didn't have a brain at all. Sounds ridiculous, doesn't it? You cannot possibly survive without a brain; that's just such a silly thing to want! Though without a brain, Min-su wouldn't have to be stuck with these unbearable, shameful thoughts that made him feel worthless and disgusting.
'You fucking deserve this.' 'Dumbass.' 'Should've just listened.' 'You're so fucking stupid.' 'Dumb whore.'
Then finally, out came that salty bodily fluid that Min-su just about wanted to gag at but had to keep himself from vomiting as he was forced to swallow it. As the cock was finally removed from his mouth, he panted and shuddered, his lips red and swollen, his eyes tired, half-lidded and teary, leftover cum dripping from his bottom lift subtly.
"God, you're so pretty like this," Thanos smirked, caressing Min-su's cheek with his cold hand. That form of 'affection' was supposed to make Min-su feel needed and important. So why did it make him feel so shitty? Min-su looked up at him with pleading eyes; eyes that plea to let him go and to not hurt him anymore. His silent plea was rejected. "Let's see what else you can do, hm?" Thanos grinned and Min-su looked down, letting out a choked sob as tears rolled down his pretty cheeks. "Ouh, now don't be so dramatic," Thanos mocked, "c'mon, up." he gave Min-su's hair soft tugs, signaling him to get on his feet. Min-su stood up with wobbly legs, not daring to face the man before him.
"Good boy," Thanos grinned, subtly walking Min-su into the wall of the stall until the young man's back softly made contact with it. Thanos put two fingers to Min-su's lips. "Suck," he ordered, softly pressing his fingers against Min-su's lips, who reluctantly complied, parting his quivering, unwilling lips. The slight saltiness of the finger found his tongue. This felt even more embarrassing than what he was forced to do just a minute ago. "C'mon now, don't be shy," Thanos chuckled, smirking.
Though not wanting to, Min-su didn't want to further upset Thanos, which could ultimately lead to worse pain, Min-su obeyed and sucked on the man's two fingers, slightly shrinking back at every word of disgusting praise that fell from the purple-haired man's mouth. Thanos told him how good he was being, but he didn't feel very 'good'. He felt used and disgusting. He felt like a whore.
Eventually, Thanos removed his fingers from the inside of Min-su's mouth. Min-su could only pray it'd be over. Though he was wrong.
Min-su was flipped around, bent at the waist, Thanos' hands forcefully holding his body across his lower stomach. Min-su squirmed, beginning to experience more anger mixed with the already mixed with the agonizing fear and shame. "Stop..!" he grunted, jerking his body in attempt to escape as Thanos held him there. 'Weak.'
"Don't fuckin' squirm, you'll only get yourself hurt even worse," Thanos threatened, to which Min-su paused and shuddered, unwilling to endure any worse pain than this just for a lousy attempt at an escape. He hicced, letting out soft sobs as Thanos did whatever the fuck he wanted with him. He cried harder only when he felt Thanos' hands nearing his waistband. Min-su pathetically tried to keep him from stripping his pants off, placing a shaky hand over where Thanos' was, in an attempt to prevent him from pulling them down. Thanos easily removed his hand, finding his struggle and his absolute desperation to be quite amusing. Eventually, Min-su's pants dropped to the ground from Thanos' doing, revealing the young man's shaking legs. He felt fearful and nauseous at being bent over the man behind him, completely at his mercy. Min-su felt the other's erection press against his ass, causing him to let out a choked sob. Thanos' hand cut contact with Min-su's body for just a moment, just to come crashing right back down on his ass, tearing a yelp from Min-su, making his legs shake even harder.
Two fingers were then pressed to his tight, virgin hole.
'Please just let me disappear already.'
One began to slowly push in, his hole resisting a bit, only adding to the burning sensation. It was only one finger, yet it felt like hell. Min-su cried and clenched his teeth, letting out soft shudders here and there.
'Please, not like this.'
The finger began to move in an out, uncomfortably, making Min-su whimper and grunt every few moments.
"Come onnn, just take it. Be a good boy for me," Thanos' tone was mocking, dragging more tears out of Min-su's eyes.
'Please just let me blackout and forget all of this.'
A second finger was added. This time Min-su cried out. The stretch burned more than anything. Min-su, as a child, had touched the stove many times, being dumb and young, but none of that ever burned as much as this did. 'God, you're so sensitive.' 'You're overreacting.' 'Man up.' 'Fucking crybaby.'
"Come on now, Min-su, it's not that bad... Don't be dramatic," Thanos chuckled as if finding humor in the other man's pain and suffering. Min-su was now being roughly fingered with the two digits that were forced into his ass. It all felt so disgusting. Not for Thanos, though; he was having the time of his life. "That's it... Good boy," he praised, making Min-su's stomach churn once again. He just wanted Se-mi to hold him and tell him that everything's going to be okay. He didn't care about anybody else.
After a small bit, Thanos' fingers were removed, leaving Min-su's hole burning and aching, and if that wasn't terrible enough of an experience, something even larger pressed against his abused hole. Min-su knew exactly what would happen next. "NO, STOP," Min-su screamed, jerking and thrashing his body, but Thanos held him in place. Min-su continued to scream and attempt to make it as hard as possible for Thanos to do what he wanted to do to him. Though this rebellion lasted no longer than maybe ten seconds. Thanos grabbed a handful of Min-su's hair and slammed his face into the hard wall of the stall. Min-su's vision went black for just a moment, but then came back in a blurry haze, everything looking wobbly and trippy, as if he were on drugs. It took a moment for the pain to come rushing to him, but once it did, he noticed blood pouring out of both of his nostrils.
"Come on, boy, at least try to stay awakeee," Thanos chuckled, drawing his words out and stroking Min-su's hair, as if he didn't just slam his face into the wall, possibly breaking his fucking nose. Thanos grinned wider at the sight of the blood dripping onto the floor. Min-su's entire body shook but he barely reacted to the pain. Though it hurt like a bitch, he made no louder sound than soft shudders.
"Finally ready to listen?" Thanos asked in complete mockery. Min-su didn't even respond, not even a nod or anything, so Thanos continued his assault on the young man. "Just be good and these things won't happen. You think I like hurting you?" Thanos asked, his tone suddenly soft, but obviously in a fake, manipulative way. Min-su shouldn't find it comforting, but he couldn't help it. "You gonna be good now, my boy?" he asked, his voice in the same softer tone. Min-su slowly nodded. He hated himself for nodding. "Good boy," Thanos chuckled. Then he lined his thick member up with Min-su's hole, which wasn't even nearly prepared enough.
The burning sensation as it was slowly forced in couldn't even compared to the previous fingering. Min-su screamed, a violent, painfilled scream as if he were being torn in half. Though, as expected, the guards outside the restroom couldn't give two shits. They never did.
Thanos at least gave him the small mercy of letting him adjust to the painful size as he made his way in. Min-su's legs shook violently as he sobbed. It all burned so much. "You'd be idiotic to think I'm stopping because I pity you or something," Thanos began, then continued, "I'm only letting you get used to it, sweetheart. We don't have all night, though, so toughen up and deal with it." Min-su choked out a sob, clinging to the safety rail attached to the wall in front of him.
Min-su sobbed harder as Thanos began to move, thrusting his large cock into his tight hole. He gripped Min-su's waist as he did so. "S-st-op--" Min-su sobbed out, gasping as tears gathered at his chin and tripped onto the floor. Thanos ignored his pleas, speeding up his pace, making the treatment even harsher.
As Thanos went on, letting out groans and disgusting words of praise, the sensation became a bit more tolerable. Not good but no longer excruciating.
"Fuck, you're being so good, Min-su... Such a pretty body you have," Thanos groaned out between thrusts and shaky breaths. Everything felt so hot, and it only got warmer when Thanos hit a certain spot inside the other male. Min-su let out a choked moan, not even expecting it himself. He blushed red, hating what his body was doing to him. "Right there, hm?" Thanos teased, grinning, and proceeding to aim for that certain spot again.
Min-su hated himself more than he ever had. Min-su hated his body. He hated what it was doing; how it was reacting. He hated the whore-ish noises forced out of him. Each time, he had to second guess himself as to if it was really him making them. "M-mmngh--" Min-su groaned out, his body shaking and his dick getting harder by the second. He fucking hated himself. "That's it, my boy, don't hold those pretty noises back," Thanos spoke, his breath hot against Min-su's neck, making him whimper. Thanos tightened the grip on his waist and sped his pace up, causing Min-su to cry out, though no longer a pained cry, 'I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you--'
Then Thanos let out a low groan, his thrusts suddenly coming to a halt, but something thick squirting out and into Min-su's hole. Min-su squeaked and whimpered, his legs shaking as he was filled with it. Thanos bit down on his collarbone, and Min-su came soon after, whining and internally cursing at and shaming himself. 'What the fuck is wrong with you.'
"Min-suuu, you were so gooddd," Thanos purred against the crook of Min-su's neck, a deep, red bite mark and a bit of blood on his collarbone. That was going to be there a while. Though what would stick far longer is the memory of this night, unfortunately not at all in a good way. It would haunt him. Instead of the thought of Se-mi comforting and soothing Min-su, it made him sick now. 'What would she think...?' 'Disgusting. She'd think you're a disgusting whore.' 'It's all your fault.'
Thanos was 'nice' enough to help Min-su clean up. It was a sort of aftercare, but not in a sweet, caring, romantic way, but rather in a sick, twisted, manipulative and possessive way. "See, Min-su? I'm not all bad... After all, I'm helping you now. I'm really all you need, Min-su, but you keep going against my wishes. All I wanted was for you to vote to play another game, and you couldn't even do that. Don't worry, though... I'm sure you won't be such a screw-up much longer, yeah? Next time you'll make the right decision, won't you, my boy?" Thanos' voice was a fake soft tone as he washed Min-su. Min-su simply silently nodded. "Good boy. I knew this would teach you a lesson," Thanos smiled softly, a smile that made Min-su feel sick all over again, Thanos then added, "you know I love you, don't you?" he put a cold hand softly to Min-su's cheek, which was stained with tear streaks. Min-su didn't reply, but Thanos at least didn't have anything negative to say about it. The more Thanos held eye contact with him, the sicker he felt, until he was vomiting into the toilet bowl, Thanos gently rubbing his back.
The two left the bathroom, Min-su struggling to walk properly. The guard outside the door looked at them knowingly, but didn't say a word. It was none of their business after all. 'Heartless fucks.'
By the time the two returned to the room with all the bunks, it was ten minutes before lights out, meaning the two had only been in there for twenty minutes, though it felt like an eternity for Min-su. Min-su stopped and looked at Se-mi, who was staring at him. Min-su felt sick again. He looked away and made his way to the spot he had sat before making the mistake of heading to the restroom. He sat in the same exact position, knees to his chest, arms hugged around them, face resting on his kneecaps. He sat just like that until he was met with another's presence, who silently sat next to him.
Min-su and Se-mi sat silently for a few moments. It wasn't awkward, it felt casual. At least for Se-mi. Min-su hated himself for feeling uncomfortable. He couldn't brush away the thought of what Se-mi would think of him; what she would think if she had heard or witnessed any of that; how she'd never see him the same again; how she'd shame him and judge him; how she'd no longer care for him.
"So what took so long in there?" Se-mi asked, casually, breaking the silence between the two. Min-su couldn't be bothered to search for a believable or at all reasonable excuse to give her, so he just replied, "Just lost track of time," he shrugged, not even looking at her. Se-mi frowned a bit, though Min-su didn't see it. There was more silence for just a brief moment. "Have you been crying?" she asked him, her tone soft a caring, but how could she care for him? How could she still fucking care after what he did to her? It almost made Min-su angry, but no; he could never be angry at her. Not Se-mi. Maybe he did deserve what Thanos did to him. Maybe he was a lying, wimpy traitor. Not just to those assholes, Thanos and Nam-gyu, but her; the girl he cared about more than anything. Min-su simply replied, "No," as he didn't want to open up about shit. Not about anything to anyone. Min-su just wants Se-mi to leave. Not because of her, no, absolutely never, but simply because Min-su knows he's hurting her. He wants to cry again but doesn't. He doesn't want to cry in front of her. He didn't deserve a shoulder to cry on. 'Fucking pathetic.'
"I'm sorry," Min-su shudders, almost inaudible, but Se-mi hears him just fine. She smiles softly. How could she smile? How could she be smiling at somebody as wimpy and pathetic as himself. He felt like nothing compared to her. So why did she smile? "I forgive you," she replied, and Min-su just couldn't hold it in anymore. Min-su hugged his knees closer to him, burying his face as he softly sobbed. He felt so ashamed for allowing such emotions to show around her. He couldn't keep hurting her. He knows she cares for him. Why would anybody want to see their loved ones crying. 'How selfish.' he internally scolded himself. "I'm so sorry," he shuddered out, sniffling, "you don't have to stay here, I don't want you to hurt." Min-su peaked out at her to read her expression. She didn't look angry at all.
"Don't cry," she spoke gently, "you've apologized, and you've been forgiven. Please don't waste tears on me." she smiled softly. She then reached a hand toward Min-su, though not expecting him to flinch back. She paused, her hand mid-air, but it slightly jerked back, unexpecting as Min-su flinched at her attempt to touch him. Her eyebrows furrowed and Min-su felt even shittier. "Oh-- Oh, God, I'm so sorry," he frowned, his eyes still watery.
"Why are you afraid of me...?" she asked, retreating her hand. Min-su's heart ached.
"I- I'm not, I swear," he sputtered in response. Se-mi nodded, turning her gaze to the ground. Min-su looked at the ground as well, then his eyes found themselves locked on her hand. It's just Se-mi. She's an angel, at least towards Min-su. She'd protected him throughout the games. Why would she ever hurt him? She'd never do such monstrous things as Thanos. Min-su hesitated but then reached for her hand. She looked at him. Soon enough, Min-su's head rested on her shoulder and hers rested atop his head. Nothing could break Min-su away from the thought of what Thanos had done to him. Not even her, unfortunately, and he felt ashamed for it. Every small movement he'd flinch at. Se-mi knew better than to ask why. That question could wait for another time. Min-su wanted to shower so badly. He just wanted to scrub away the feeling of the hands on his body. He wanted to wash it all away and maybe even drown himself in the process. He wanted relief. Maybe this feeling would be gone by tomorrow. Maybe he'd get to just forget about it in his sleep and go on with his life. Maybe he'd somehow wake up and all of that would've just been some crazy nightmare. Or maybe he was just fucking delusional and didn't want to accept that he had been traumatized. Maybe he didn't even deserve that validation. Maybe he should just man up and deal with it. 'Fucking crybaby.'
"You alright?"
"I'm fine,"
The two sat just like that. One hurting from confusion and worry, and the other hurting from shame and fresh fucking trauma.
I wanted to be your woman, I wanted to be your man, I wanted to be the one that you could understand.