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“So, what do you think about your co-husbands?” The interviewer asked.
Jorah just sighed.
---
“To be honest, I enjoy spending time with all of them. Really I’m just happy to be surrounded by such a great bunch of guys, and Dany of course.” Quentyn smiled as he talked, he was always the most friendly at interviews, which was probably why he was seen on Daenerys' arm so often in public. He tended to be the least offensive.
“Some of the rest made it seem like things were tense among you all?” The interviewer continued.
“Hmm…” Quentyn pondered, “I wonder why. I’ve never noticed anything off.”
---
“Jorah tried to poison me last week,” Xaro said blandly to the camera. He batted his gorgeous eyelashes, “It’s not like he hasn’t done it before, I catch him every time.” Xaro whispered and grinned like he was sharing a secret.
“Poison?” The interviewer asked hesitantly.
“Pssh,” Xaro waved the question away, smirking, “He’s just flirting.”
“No I’m not.” Was heard off screen.
---
“I mean, I definitely like Quentyn the best. That’s no question. The rest of them are a bunch of pricks really,” Daario lounged in the interview chair like it was a throne. His legs were spread wide in the type of stance that exuded annoying levels of confidence, “I guess that’s probably why Dany likes them so much.” He grinned at the joke.
“Do you think she’ll have more husbands?”
“Oh definitely. I mean, we’re just on our way back to Westeros now, I’m sure she has her eye on some of the men over there already.”
“Are you jealous of the other co-husbands?”
“Why?” Daario laughed with a smirk, “She always comes running back to me.”
---
“All this co-husband nonsense really is just nonsense. It’s just a legally binding contract, not some kind of harem,” Hizdahr explained like the business man he was, “It doesn’t matter what I think about my ‘co-husbands’,” He rolled his eyes, “They’re just my coworkers.”
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“Hizdahr said that?” Daario guffawed with laughter at the interviewer’s nod, “That’s cause she never fucks him!” Daario kept laughing like it was the funniest thing in the world. Eventually as the laughter died down, he muttered under his breath, “What a prick.” While wiping tears from his eyes.
---
“Would you consider yourself sheltered, Quentyn?” The interviewer asked.
“Sheltered?” Quentyn pulled back, “Was it something one of the guys said?”
“...No.”
---
“Now you have to know that none of those other guys are the real deal, right? Dany just keeps them around for their money, land, titles, anything. I’m the real deal,” Aegon tapped his chest as he nodded to reinforce what he was saying, “That Quentyn guy? He’s a sheltered little bastard, Dany just keeps him around cause he smiles nice in front of the cameras and is as cute as a baby. That’s it.”
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“I think a bad attitude is what really holds Aegon, Hizdahr, and Jorah back,” Xaro calmly explained to the camera, “Daario, Quentyn, and I get along great. Sure we’ve got points where we disagree, but we’ve all got one thing on our mind.”
“What’s that?”
“Pleasing Daenerys.”
---
The interviewer coughed and there was a shuffling sound in the background almost like embarrassment, “There was an implication that you, Daario, and Xaro got along very well.”
“Oh, yes, definitely,” Quentyn happily agreed, “Though I do try and stay in the good graces of all my co-husbands.”
“Well…” The interviewer paused, perhaps thrown off by Quentyn’s smiling and innocent looking face, “There seemed to be an implication that it might have been more than getting along well.”
“Oh!” Quentyn said, then blushed, “Well,” he coughed into his own hand in embarrassment, “You know how Daario and Xaro are…”
“They are?” The interviewer pushed.
“Well, they’re… they’re very… sexual,” Quentyn put it simply when everyone already knew just based on their social media pages, “And there may have been a few nights,” Quentyn bit his lip as his blushed deepened further, “Where it might not have been just one of us sharing Dany’s bed.”
The studio was silent.
“Or two for that matter.” Quentyn added.
The studio felt like the personification of second hand embarrassment.
---
“Oh yeah we all fucked,” Daario nodded with a leer, “Had a good time at it too.” His boldness was more disarming than Quentyn’s hesitancy.
“Jorah, Aegon, and Hizdahr don’t participate?” The interviewer asked.
“Pssh, they wouldn’t even know what to do with themselves, the useless fools.”
---
“What do you say to all the people asking for a paternity test? You know, to prove that you’re Rhaegar’s son?” The interviewer asked.
“What? They doubt this?” Aegon gestured to his own body with an incredulous look, “This is the real deal baby,” He leaned towards the camera, talking directly into it, “Pure Targaryen ass. You doubt it, you can ask my dad.”
The interviewer seemed to pause, not quite knowing how to respond to that, “But about the test?”
“Man, fuck the test.” Aegon swore, standing up and marching off muttering under his breath. The camera followed his movements as he walked away.
---
“I think I actually miss Khal Drogo,” Jorah said while looking wistfully off to the side, “I didn’t think I’d ever say that, but I think I do.” He looked back to the interviewer and nodded.
“Simpler time?” The interviewer guessed.
“Simper time.” Jorah nodded.
There was a moment of silence that felt like a moment of mourning.
“Now I gotta deal with idiots like Xaro and Daario and Aegon.”
“Not Hizdahr and Quentyn?” The interviewer asked.
Jorah shook his head, “Listen, Hizdahr’s on thin fucking ice, but that Quentyn kid is so sweet.”
---
“Daenerys, it’s a pleasure to get to sit down with you today.”
Dany settled into the chair, her head held regally high, “I’m glad to be here.”
“I think I’ll start off with the question we all want to know the answer to, who’s your favorite?”
Dany smiled, her purple eyes twinkling, and opened her mouth to answer.